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(Lifehacker)   Not using a condom with your sex toys? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG   (afterhours.lifehacker.com) divider line 109
    More: Interesting, Doing It Wrong  
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12752 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2014 at 2:57 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-03 03:46:43 PM
MooseBayou:

maxheck: Literally minutes ago, my long distance G/F (she's Canadian Texan, you wouldn't know her yadda yadda) wrote to tell me she was sending me some sort of inflatable love doll. She has this voyeur thing going on.

Kick, replies on any toy thread.

/ hell yes I'm going to try it out!

Try not to look stupid on camera.


Heh... no. What I wrote about as much as the internet needs to know.
 
2014-04-03 03:47:04 PM

MooseBayou: Needlessly Complicated: NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: bhcompy: Cup_O_Jo: Buy glass.

glass vibrator.  That's a new one

No, they've been around a while actually.

Yep. They're made out of Pyrex. You can wash them in the dishwasher!

And they go straight from the freezer to the oven!

Got nothin


They can be both cooled and warmed, actually, if you're into experimenting with that kind of thing...
 
2014-04-03 03:48:09 PM
But condoms taste weird...
 
2014-04-03 03:48:33 PM
Sucking the glass dick just got more interesting.
 
2014-04-03 03:49:51 PM
MooseBayou:

maxheck: Literally minutes ago, my long distance G/F (she's Canadian Texan, you wouldn't know her yadda yadda) wrote to tell me she was sending me some sort of inflatable love doll. She has this voyeur thing going on.

Kick, replies on any toy thread.

/ hell yes I'm going to try it out!

Try not to look stupid on camera.

Heh... no. What I wrote about as much as the internet needs to know.


So far as the G/F, I'm pretty sure we've both seen stupid looks on each other. That's how you know you love someone... :)
 
2014-04-03 03:52:20 PM

EvilEgg: I guess that would make sense, it has got to be a challenge to hose out a Real Doll.


I hear Kwame is the one to ask.
 
2014-04-03 03:52:27 PM

God-is-a-Taco: SquiggsIN: poot_rootbeer: If you're leaving it in there long enough for phthalates to leach out of the toy, you probably are doing it wrong.

There's an entire subculture around people who "wear" them as an accessory for long periods of time... like their entire work day.

[img.fark.net image 730x365]


Keyboard......   You owe me one!
 
2014-04-03 03:54:43 PM

SquiggsIN: nah... genetically engineered for shape and texture : cucumber, eggplant, banana, zucchini etc...


What does Kirk Cameron have to say about this?
 
2014-04-03 03:59:23 PM
This message brought to you by Trojan
 
2014-04-03 04:00:28 PM
"in the dishwasher" ....oh you mean the machine ...well at least not the pickle slicer
 
2014-04-03 04:02:39 PM

Peaceboy: So if you use a condom but it's not about birth control, is the Catholic Church cool with this?  Where does Pope Francis rule on Fleshlights?  Do they have to be baptized first?


I assume they would go with the "Every Sperm is Sacred" rule. That is, you can use a condom on whatever you want as long as you aren't trying to catch swimmers in it. Because Jesus.
 
2014-04-03 04:06:52 PM

BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy: Peaceboy: So if you use a condom but it's not about birth control, is the Catholic Church cool with this?  Where does Pope Francis rule on Fleshlights?  Do they have to be baptized first?

I assume they would go with the "Every Sperm is Sacred" rule. That is, you can use a condom on whatever you want as long as you aren't trying to catch swimmers in it. Because Jesus.


Insert sperm is good song here.
 
2014-04-03 04:11:02 PM

SquiggsIN: Miss5280: Solution: disposable sex toys.

aren't those called produce?


No, they're called women.
 
2014-04-03 04:15:38 PM

SquiggsIN: Put them in the dishwasher (except the kind that plug in / have batteries)


But always ask his/her permission first.
 
2014-04-03 04:17:04 PM

SquiggsIN: Put them in the dishwasher (except the kind that plug in / have batteries)


how do you power your dishwasher, solar?
 
2014-04-03 04:17:06 PM

Needlessly Complicated: NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: bhcompy: Cup_O_Jo: Buy glass.

glass vibrator.  That's a new one

No, they've been around a while actually.

Yep. They're made out of Pyrex. You can wash them in the dishwasher!


Or bake them into a casserole for the next church picnic!

/This tuna casserole has kind of a wang to it...
 
2014-04-03 04:19:07 PM

BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy: Peaceboy: So if you use a condom but it's not about birth control, is the Catholic Church cool with this?  Where does Pope Francis rule on Fleshlights?  Do they have to be baptized first?

I assume they would go with the "Every Sperm is Sacred" rule. That is, you can use a condom on whatever you want as long as you aren't trying to catch swimmers in it. Because Jesus.


It's apparently OK if you are a male prostitute.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/21/world/europe/21pope.html?pagewante d= all
 
2014-04-03 04:23:45 PM
Which one does, and which ones don't? Show your work ,,

www.ministryoftofu.com
 
2014-04-03 04:27:18 PM

maxheck: Literally minutes ago, my long distance G/F (she's Canadian Texan, you wouldn't know her yadda yadda) wrote to tell me she was sending me some sort of inflatable love doll. She has this voyeur thing going on.

Kick, replies on any toy thread.

/ hell yes I'm going to try it out!


The 4chan thread with the video you send "her" is going to be hilarious...
 
2014-04-03 04:31:47 PM

EvilEgg: I guess that would make sense, it has got to be a challenge to hose out a Real Doll.


Yeah.  I can't understand things like the Real Doll--sex toys aren't the most durable of things.
 
2014-04-03 04:31:52 PM

bigbadideasinaction: maxheck: Literally minutes ago, my long distance G/F (she's Canadian Texan, you wouldn't know her yadda yadda) wrote to tell me she was sending me some sort of inflatable love doll. She has this voyeur thing going on.

Kick, replies on any toy thread.

/ hell yes I'm going to try it out!

The 4chan thread with the video you send "her" is going to be hilarious...


It's not like he's The Amazing Atheist.
 
2014-04-03 04:36:16 PM

Miss5280: Solution: disposable sex toys.


Hey now, whores are recyclable not just disposable
 
2014-04-03 04:37:15 PM

maxheck: TDBoedy:

hrm share with care?

Ok ladies I guess I have to know...in fact the fark community demands it.

Do you share out your sex toys with friends?

//how you doin?

I know someone who has a sort of death pact with her best friend... "If I die, please get to my house first and dispose of that big toybox in the closet."

Not joking. I helped build and modify her toybox.


I have a male buddy that I knew since middle school, lost track of him, then ran into again during my undergrad years at Texas A&M Uni.  He has very authoritarian parents and asked me, in a panic, to keep a big box full of X-rated shiat for him while his mom and dad came to town.  I told him, "Sure! So long as I can look all through it, and watch the movies and stuff."

He agreed, I had a hella fun week, and his folks were none the wiser.
 
2014-04-03 04:41:27 PM
tricycleracer


Well, yeah. You want them to retain resale value.

Work has a classified ads column, and I have seen them for sale.
 
2014-04-03 04:48:20 PM

Pathman: SquiggsIN: Put them in the dishwasher (except the kind that plug in / have batteries)

how do you power your dishwasher, solar?


The toys have batteries/plug in. Not the dishwasher.

/unless that's the joke
 
2014-04-03 04:57:15 PM
mrswambu and I have used condoms on the toys for years. Easier to clean and make sure they are always clean.
 
2014-04-03 05:15:46 PM

QueenMamaBee: Pathman: SquiggsIN: Put them in the dishwasher (except the kind that plug in / have batteries)

how do you power your dishwasher, solar?

The toys have batteries/plug in. Not the dishwasher.

/unless that's the joke


yes, that's the joke ;-p
 
2014-04-03 05:16:23 PM
I hate this way of reasoning. It's like the whole "cunnilingus will give you cancer" fear that some folks have.

Sure, not putting condoms on toys is riskier than has to be. But kissing is waaaaay more dangerous than most things, but we are not giving up kissing.

Unprotected sex in a monogamous relationship is still risky. But we're note giving up that either.

Just lick the dildo before you pass it to the right, and lick the one you got from your left.

/and send pictures
 
2014-04-03 05:18:53 PM

SquiggsIN: Miss5280: Solution: disposable sex toys.

aren't those called produce?


If you use a condom, you can toss a nice salad with that cucumber later...
 
2014-04-03 05:29:14 PM

SquiggsIN: Put them in the dishwasher (except the kind that plug in / have batteries)


As far as battery power goes, you could spring for the fully submersible vibes.
 
2014-04-03 05:29:28 PM

SquiggsIN: poot_rootbeer: If you're leaving it in there long enough for phthalates to leach out of the toy, you probably are doing it wrong.

There's an entire subculture around people who "wear" them as an accessory for long periods of time... like their entire work day.


Wait, what?
 
2014-04-03 05:34:03 PM

Loren: EvilEgg: I guess that would make sense, it has got to be a challenge to hose out a Real Doll.

Yeah.  I can't understand things like the Real Doll--sex toys aren't the most durable of things.


Plus, no matter what you do with the thing, it's going to have to be hidden from view at all times or your neighbors are going to think you're dragging a body...

//There's not a single excuse for your neighbor seeing a realdoll that ends  in *less* embarrassment..
 
2014-04-03 05:37:28 PM

bigbadideasinaction: maxheck: Literally minutes ago, my long distance G/F (she's Canadian Texan, you wouldn't know her yadda yadda) wrote to tell me she was sending me some sort of inflatable love doll. She has this voyeur thing going on.

Kick, replies on any toy thread.

/ hell yes I'm going to try it out!

The 4chan thread with the video you send "her" is going to be hilarious...


Heh... no 4chan account, anything I do with it would be all hers. The hilarious part sounds right though.
 
2014-04-03 05:52:40 PM
I'll just leave this (entirely NSFW) over here, right on the coffee table.  It's a conversation starter!
 
2014-04-03 05:54:27 PM
 
2014-04-03 05:59:05 PM

Liz Lemon: SquiggsIN: poot_rootbeer: If you're leaving it in there long enough for phthalates to leach out of the toy, you probably are doing it wrong.

There's an entire subculture around people who "wear" them as an accessory for long periods of time... like their entire work day.

Wait, what?


Go check out adamandeve.com

There are LOTS of options for panties with vibrators built in.

Or so I've...Um...heard.

I also may have heard that the remote control ones make date night interesting....maybe. From this...guy...yeah.
 
2014-04-03 06:08:20 PM

Pathman: QueenMamaBee: Pathman: SquiggsIN: Put them in the dishwasher (except the kind that plug in / have batteries)

how do you power your dishwasher, solar?

The toys have batteries/plug in. Not the dishwasher.

/unless that's the joke

yes, that's the joke ;-p


I apologize. This is the internet, and I've found that sometimes dangerous to overestimate intelligence sometimes...particularly my own :)
 
2014-04-03 06:26:27 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-03 06:28:45 PM
My wife and I have a plastic jobby for her and I. We wash it after and we wash ourselves every morning.
We may live in a cluttered house but we are very clean people. We take our morning cleaning very seriously. We use non-odorous soap and Pert 2in1.Clean... and dirty.
 
2014-04-03 07:13:46 PM

QueenMamaBee: Pathman: QueenMamaBee: Pathman: SquiggsIN: Put them in the dishwasher (except the kind that plug in / have batteries)

how do you power your dishwasher, solar?

The toys have batteries/plug in. Not the dishwasher.

/unless that's the joke

yes, that's the joke ;-p

I apologize. This is the internet, and I've found that sometimes dangerous to overestimate intelligence sometimes...particularly my own :)


no apologies necessary, i'm plenty stupid that half the time i'm probably not joking ;-p
 
2014-04-03 07:17:16 PM

Liz Lemon: SquiggsIN: poot_rootbeer: If you're leaving it in there long enough for phthalates to leach out of the toy, you probably are doing it wrong.

There's an entire subculture around people who "wear" them as an accessory for long periods of time... like their entire work day.

Wait, what?


How do you think Mr. Goatse got that "relaxed?"  It takes a lot of training to be able to take a fist up to the elbow.

I've seen girls on amateur porn talk about wearing them, too, so they can essentially perform the same act with their vaginas.

/likes big girls
//and I don't mean fat
 
2014-04-03 07:49:22 PM

thecpt: But condoms taste weird...


Get the non-latex kind. They have no taste at all.
 
2014-04-03 07:57:41 PM

wambu: mrswambu and I have used condoms on the toys for years. Easier to clean and make sure they are always clean.


You should put new condoms on the toys every time you use them, and throw out the condom when you're done with that session.  Leaving used condoms on them for years defeats the purpose.

Liz Lemon: SquiggsIN: poot_rootbeer: If you're leaving it in there long enough for phthalates to leach out of the toy, you probably are doing it wrong.

There's an entire subculture around people who "wear" them as an accessory for long periods of time... like their entire work day.

Wait, what?


Some are designed to be worn, some are even operable via digital device.  Think: panties with a vibrating but in just the right surface location.

There are also dildo's for stretching(you start small and work your way up, some are stacked like Russian dolls), as well as dildo's for kegels(the name of the exercise for tightening one's vagina muscles, vaguely paraphrased, though men can do the exercises as well(don't see the point for sex though, not like anything gets bigger)).

Not sure what men have available that's actually designed for all day wearing, but I'm sure it exists(Rule 34 variant).
 
2014-04-03 07:58:17 PM

omeganuepsilon: Think: panties with a vibrating bud in just the right surface location.


FTFM
 
2014-04-03 08:08:22 PM
Feeling good is bad!
Feeling good is bad!
Feeling good is bad!
Feeling good is bad!

oh god dammit gimme that....
 
2014-04-03 08:10:31 PM

omeganuepsilon: kegels(the name of the exercise for tightening one's vagina muscles, vaguely paraphrased, though men can do the exercises as well(don't see the point for sex though, not like anything gets bigger)).


The stronger your pelvic floor is the harder you get while tightening it, and your partner can feel it.
 
2014-04-03 08:17:26 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Miss5280: Solution: disposable sex toys.

Hey now, whores are recyclable not just disposable


I bring you, the Tenga Love Egg. NSFW Meant for a single use and throw away.

MooseBayou: EvilEgg: I guess that would make sense, it has got to be a challenge to hose out a Real Doll.

Not with my hose.


From my understanding Real Dolls are like Archer's robotic girlfriend. The fun bit pops out for easy washing.
 
2014-04-03 08:38:41 PM

MarkEC: omeganuepsilon: kegels(the name of the exercise for tightening one's vagina muscles, vaguely paraphrased, though men can do the exercises as well(don't see the point for sex though, not like anything gets bigger)).

The stronger your pelvic floor is the harder you get while tightening it, and your partner can feel it.


If you're half flaccid, maybe. So, like, thanks for dumping your personal problems here.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/mens-health/in-depth/kegel- ex ercises-for-men/art-20045074
You might benefit from doing Kegel exercises if you:
Have urinary or fecal incontinence
Dribble after urination - usually after you've left the bathroom
Some studies suggest that Kegel exercises for men might also benefit some men who have erectile dysfunction. However, further research is needed.
 
2014-04-03 08:46:56 PM

omeganuepsilon: MarkEC: omeganuepsilon: kegels(the name of the exercise for tightening one's vagina muscles, vaguely paraphrased, though men can do the exercises as well(don't see the point for sex though, not like anything gets bigger)).

The stronger your pelvic floor is the harder you get while tightening it, and your partner can feel it.

If you're half flaccid, maybe. So, like, thanks for dumping your personal problems here.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/mens-health/in-depth/kegel- ex ercises-for-men/art-20045074
You might benefit from doing Kegel exercises if you:
Have urinary or fecal incontinence
Dribble after urination - usually after you've left the bathroom
Some studies suggest that Kegel exercises for men might also benefit some men who have erectile dysfunction. However, further research is needed.


I can literally hang a 10 pound weight from penis, and by doing Kegels it looks like I'm doing curls.
 
2014-04-03 08:50:38 PM

rev. dave: They make them out of silicone.  Anything else is stupid.


And silicone lube will destroy them. Hence why you put a condom on them.
 
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