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(Telegraph)   College students determine Noah's Ark could have carried 70,000 animals and still floated   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 298
    More: Strange, Noah's Ark, University of Leicester, Leicestershire, Bibles, Department of Physics  
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4738 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2014 at 7:50 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-03 06:31:05 AM
From TFAIt is a separate matter whether all of the animals would fit inside an ark of these dimensions - the physics students were simply calculating the buoyancy of the ark.

Uhhh... That would be a pretty important thing to consider. Also, it is necessary to consider the mass of the internal structure of decks and compartments and structural support (unless one wishes to argue that the ark was an open hold with all of the animals just piled in).

So, I guess it's an interesting enough thought exercise for physics students learning about buoyancy and who are keen on the bible to work on. But ultimately it has no applicable meaning. 

Sorry, Ken Ham, your beloved ark is still impossible.
 
2014-04-03 06:49:01 AM
I once read an article (can't remember where) that said the character of Noah was formed from a legend of a merchant who survived some great Euphrates river flood. He and his family survived the flood because they were hauling beer. I like that version of Noah better than the biblical one.

Moral of the story: God loves beer.
 
2014-04-03 07:01:26 AM
Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.
 
2014-04-03 07:13:35 AM
inc.ongruo.us
 
2014-04-03 07:14:36 AM

whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.



So, a Carnival cruise.
 
2014-04-03 07:17:00 AM

whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.


Can't poo be thrown overboard?
 
2014-04-03 07:18:15 AM
So, somewhere between 70 and 000? Sounds about right.

/ DNRTFA
 
2014-04-03 07:20:32 AM
Interesting, that was really my only sticking point with the bible, the rest is obviously true.
 
2014-04-03 07:21:09 AM
A group of master's students from the Department of Physics and Astronomy at Leicester University studied the exact dimensions of the Ark, set out in Genesis 6:13-22.

Oh, for fark's sake.  This was an assignment in my Baptist High School algebra class.  Now it takes a masters degree?
 
2014-04-03 07:24:10 AM

Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?


Sure. But you have to collect it, bag it, haul it up a couple of decks, and get it over the side.

There were what, 6, 8 people on that boat? If 70,000 animals produce an average of 1lb of poo pee day, that's 1,000 pounds per person to haul. To say nothing of urine going into the wood and making decks so ammoniated you couldn't breathe.

And remember: wild animals aren't house trained. Even assuming some divine pacification so that they didn't try to eat each other/attack the humans/etc that poo and pee is still going wherever it got dropped. Ever clean a stable? It's backbreaking work. This would be thousands of times worse.

Even if all they did was haul food twice a day and shovel poo constantly the rest of the time, they would still fall behind.

And this doesn't even mention fresh water consumption. Or does the fact that they're magically floating on a sea of rainwater take care of that one?
 
2014-04-03 07:53:05 AM
That's new science, not biblical, historical science. They just lack faith.

/there's this book...
 
2014-04-03 07:54:10 AM

Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?


I snorted.
 
2014-04-03 07:55:33 AM

SecretAgentWoman: Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?

I snorted.


Well crap, I meant to quote Sybarite.
 
2014-04-03 07:56:43 AM
How many bodies can you fit in a dumpster?
 
2014-04-03 07:58:32 AM

Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?


But then what are the animals going to eat????   each other?   .....  OK
 
2014-04-03 07:58:50 AM
Too bad the damned boat wouldn't have floated at all. A wooden ship, with no iron nails or bracings, would have twisted and buckled under it's own weight and sunk like a stone as the water rushed in between the twisted beams.
 
2014-04-03 07:59:26 AM

Ed Grubermann: Too bad the damned boat wouldn't have floated at all. A wooden ship

[that size], with no iron nails or bracings, would have twisted and buckled under it's own weight and sunk like a stone as the water rushed in between the twisted beams.

/FTFM
 
2014-04-03 07:59:42 AM

vudukungfu: How many bodies can you fit in a dumpster?


Depends on how good a blender you have.
 
2014-04-03 08:00:04 AM

vudukungfu: How many bodies can you fit in a dumpster?


Are we talking in tact bodies or cut up ones?
 
2014-04-03 08:00:11 AM

whistleridge: Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?

Sure. But you have to collect it, bag it, haul it up a couple of decks, and get it over the side.

There were what, 6, 8 people on that boat? If 70,000 animals produce an average of 1lb of poo pee day, that's 1,000 pounds per person to haul. To say nothing of urine going into the wood and making decks so ammoniated you couldn't breathe.

And remember: wild animals aren't house trained. Even assuming some divine pacification so that they didn't try to eat each other/attack the humans/etc that poo and pee is still going wherever it got dropped. Ever clean a stable? It's backbreaking work. This would be thousands of times worse.

Even if all they did was haul food twice a day and shovel poo constantly the rest of the time, they would still fall behind.

And this doesn't even mention fresh water consumption. Or does the fact that they're magically floating on a sea of rainwater take care of that one?


The fact it's all rainwater, or even that they could be collecting it as it falls.
As for the shiat. Uh. Dungbeetles? An army of Dungbeetles rolling shiat overboard
 
2014-04-03 08:00:36 AM

vudukungfu: How many bodies can you fit in a dumpster?


wp.patheos.com
Two.
 
2014-04-03 08:00:46 AM
I don't know jack about how ships work, but it always amazes me how they can have aircraft carriers loaded with significant weight of fuel, people, and aircraft, and have that motherfarker float.
 
2014-04-03 08:03:07 AM
How about the additional necessary items like BBQ sauce, charcoal briquettes and Unicorn Tenderizer?
 
2014-04-03 08:04:26 AM
What's a cubit?

/Riiiiight
 
2014-04-03 08:06:16 AM
Doesn't that depend on the size of the animal?  I mean, I'm sure it could hold a fark ton of ants.
 
2014-04-03 08:07:25 AM

whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.


That's just how long it rained. I think it was several months before they made landfall.
 
2014-04-03 08:08:14 AM
the Archimedes principal of buoyancy

Some think it may just mean plained timber.


Maybe Sarah Knapton needs to head back to college for a remedial English class.

Also,

Previous research has suggested that there were approximately 35,000 species of animals which would have needed to be saved by Noah

Ah, yes, research by the Institute of Pulling Numbers out of Our Ass.
 
2014-04-03 08:08:16 AM
God killed every mother farker on the planet except for Noah and his family because he loves us.
 
2014-04-03 08:09:32 AM

pnome: Doesn't that depend on the size of the animal?  I mean, I'm sure it could hold a fark ton of ants.


Which weighs more, 200 pounds of ants, or 200 pounds of lion?
/Now which do you wanna be stuck in a room with?
I think mass wise any creatures taking up the same amount of space would weigh about the same.
 
2014-04-03 08:12:39 AM

cman: I don't know jack about how ships work, but it always amazes me how they can have aircraft carriers loaded with significant weight of fuel, people, and aircraft, and have that motherfarker float.


Water is heavy.
 
2014-04-03 08:13:17 AM
Look, why do people spend all this time hypothesizing? We have the supposed dimensions, we have large bodies of water. Someone who really believes it possible should just go for it. Put a crew of 10 on board and see how long the whole thing survives.
 
2014-04-03 08:13:49 AM

zarker: pnome: Doesn't that depend on the size of the animal?  I mean, I'm sure it could hold a fark ton of ants.

Which weighs more, 200 pounds of ants, or 200 pounds of lion?
/Now which do you wanna be stuck in a room with?
I think mass wise any creatures taking up the same amount of space would weigh about the same.


What kind of ant are you speaking of?

Now lions are dangerous but a school of ants can be just as such depending upon the genus.
 
2014-04-03 08:14:33 AM

Sybarite: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.


So, a Carnival cruise.


Snort ...drink ...keyboard, you know the rest.
 
2014-04-03 08:14:49 AM

cman: I don't know jack about how ships work, but it always amazes me how they can have aircraft carriers loaded with significant weight of fuel, people, and aircraft, and have that motherfarker float.


A cubic meter of water is a metric ton, and they're keeping a lot of those out of the ship.
 
2014-04-03 08:16:49 AM
"What else floats in water?"
 
2014-04-03 08:17:37 AM

SO GO SEE THE MOVIE, OUT IN THEATERS RIGHT NOW!!!

 
2014-04-03 08:18:06 AM

cman: a school of ants can be just as such depending upon the genus.


Johnny Hart's B.C. cartoon covered this.
Two ants on a hill looking down at a battle of humans.
The one ant is going on about how stupid humans are to fight over race and such and how they will continue until they are all wiped out and then...
Ants will rule the WORLD!

Then the other ant says, "Red or Black?"
 
2014-04-03 08:18:25 AM

Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?


www.onmilwaukee.com
 
2014-04-03 08:18:50 AM
How Noah's ark may have looked:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-04-03 08:19:45 AM

zarker: whistleridge: Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?

Sure. But you have to collect it, bag it, haul it up a couple of decks, and get it over the side.

There were what, 6, 8 people on that boat? If 70,000 animals produce an average of 1lb of poo pee day, that's 1,000 pounds per person to haul. To say nothing of urine going into the wood and making decks so ammoniated you couldn't breathe.

And remember: wild animals aren't house trained. Even assuming some divine pacification so that they didn't try to eat each other/attack the humans/etc that poo and pee is still going wherever it got dropped. Ever clean a stable? It's backbreaking work. This would be thousands of times worse.

Even if all they did was haul food twice a day and shovel poo constantly the rest of the time, they would still fall behind.

And this doesn't even mention fresh water consumption. Or does the fact that they're magically floating on a sea of rainwater take care of that one?

The fact it's all rainwater, or even that they could be collecting it as it falls.
As for the shiat. Uh. Dungbeetles? An army of Dungbeetles rolling shiat overboard


Interesting theological trap here:

God *could* have made the animals miraculously behave, not need food, and not need water. But that would be inventing a miracle that is extra-Biblical, thus defeating the whole point of interpreting the Noah story literally.

Likewise, he *could* have enlisted an army of dung beetles or what have you. But the same problem remains.

Which leaves a conundrum: either A. Noah did it within the confines of the world as we know it, which is patently impossible, or B. it's intended as a spiritual metaphor, not literal history.

I'll buy the idea that there was a BIG flood in Egypt or Mesopotamia waaaay back in the day, that one dude saw it coming, and managed to save his family and flocks by building a large raft of sorts. It isn't impossible to conceive of this happening, and it's a common enough theme in the legends and religions of the ancient Middle East that it seems entirely plausible that something like this could have happen.

Or, it's just the ancient equivalent of an urban myth.

Either way, the Bible is a book of spiritual/religious instructions, not a dedicated history. And seeing it otherwise is stupid.
 
2014-04-03 08:19:55 AM
The Enterprise-D could have carried a lot more animals, and still made warp speed.

And it was just as real.
 
2014-04-03 08:20:16 AM
Too bad there are a few million species of animals.
 
2014-04-03 08:20:33 AM

theknuckler_33: cman: I don't know jack about how ships work, but it always amazes me how they can have aircraft carriers loaded with significant weight of fuel, people, and aircraft, and have that motherfarker float.

Water is heavy.


But steel is heavier!

/it's magic, obviously
 
2014-04-03 08:20:54 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: Too bad there are a few million species of animals.


And yes, I mean land animals: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/30/science/30species.html?_r=0
 
2014-04-03 08:23:02 AM
They all float. And when you're down here with me, you'll float too!
 
2014-04-03 08:23:02 AM
Still no cure for Liberal Arts.
 
2014-04-03 08:24:38 AM
I just refuse to believe that anything could be cooped up with Russell Crowe for 40 days and 40 nights and not smite him
 
2014-04-03 08:24:43 AM

whistleridge: zarker: whistleridge: Slaxl: whistleridge: Logistics, kids. Logistics. Do you know how much most animals eat per day? Or poo? You couldn't carry 70,000 cats or gerbils or dachshunds on a ship the size of the Nimitz for 40 days, much less a large wooden barge, and definitely much less a huge variety of wild animals.

Yes, you could fit them in. But after 40 days, you would have a huge pile of shiat and a 95% mortality rate. Or something like that.

Can't poo be thrown overboard?

Sure. But you have to collect it, bag it, haul it up a couple of decks, and get it over the side.

There were what, 6, 8 people on that boat? If 70,000 animals produce an average of 1lb of poo pee day, that's 1,000 pounds per person to haul. To say nothing of urine going into the wood and making decks so ammoniated you couldn't breathe.

And remember: wild animals aren't house trained. Even assuming some divine pacification so that they didn't try to eat each other/attack the humans/etc that poo and pee is still going wherever it got dropped. Ever clean a stable? It's backbreaking work. This would be thousands of times worse.

Even if all they did was haul food twice a day and shovel poo constantly the rest of the time, they would still fall behind.

And this doesn't even mention fresh water consumption. Or does the fact that they're magically floating on a sea of rainwater take care of that one?

The fact it's all rainwater, or even that they could be collecting it as it falls.
As for the shiat. Uh. Dungbeetles? An army of Dungbeetles rolling shiat overboard

Interesting theological trap here:

God *could* have made the animals miraculously behave, not need food, and not need water. But that would be inventing a miracle that is extra-Biblical, thus defeating the whole point of interpreting the Noah story literally.

Likewise, he *could* have enlisted an army of dung beetles or what have you. But the same problem remains.

Which leaves a conundrum: either A. Noah did it within the confines of the world as we know it, which is patently impossible, or B. it's intended as a spiritual metaphor, not literal history.

I'll buy the idea that there was a BIG flood in Egypt or Mesopotamia waaaay back in the day, that one dude saw it coming, and managed to save his family and flocks by building a large raft of sorts. It isn't impossible to conceive of this happening, and it's a common enough theme in the legends and religions of the ancient Middle East that it seems entirely plausible that something like this could have happen.

Or, it's just the ancient equivalent of an urban myth.

Either way, the Bible is a book of spiritual/religious instructions, not a dedicated history. And seeing it otherwise is stupid.


(I'd crop the quote if i weren't on mobile)
If He could manage to gather them all on the boat at once, behaving themselves on the journey, it's probably not a stretch that they could behave themselves once on the boat.
I don't think animals have the same kind of free will. I mean, you can turn it off specifically for pets in the Sims, so
 
2014-04-03 08:26:40 AM
Guys, we're missing the most important question - how many dinosaurs did they factor into this equation?
 
2014-04-03 08:27:33 AM
wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com

yadda, yadda, yadda.
 
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