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(The Japan News)   Elderly man finds beauty in caring for his stroke-damaged wife, composes over 1,000 tanka poems in her honor   (the-japan-news.com) divider line 24
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1928 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2014 at 4:30 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-03 04:35:48 AM
Headline made it dusty in here. Thanks, Subby.
 
2014-04-03 04:42:02 AM
Good on you, guy. That's what it's all about.
 
2014-04-03 04:59:27 AM
I'm rather spartan in my consideration. Keeping an incurably locked in person on life support is extended cruelty.
 
2014-04-03 05:01:26 AM
That was beautiful. The Japanese have this ability to take something most dislike, and make it profound. See: The Zen of Working.
/thanks, subby
 
2014-04-03 05:08:52 AM
It would have been more impressive if he had composed over 1,000 Tonka poems in her honor.

"I love thee more than a plastic dump truck..."
 
2014-04-03 05:08:53 AM
Palsy face drooling,
Change your diaper soon will I,
More sexy time now?
 
2014-04-03 05:11:07 AM
I don't understand why anyone would appreciate poems about instant coffee.
 
2014-04-03 05:13:15 AM
Mrs. Tanka is a very ill?
 
2014-04-03 05:40:11 AM
Having spent the last five years caring for a stroke patient, I don't know whether to applaud the guy or question his sanity. It's all very noble and tear-invoking to be totally responsible for a spouse's care, but there comes a point when you realize that you're keeping someone else alive at the expense of destroying your own health. Or else you end up sicker than the person in your care. Martyrdom is so pretty from the outside, though.
 
2014-04-03 05:52:18 AM

LizEdits: Having spent the last five years caring for a stroke patient, I don't know whether to applaud the guy or question his sanity. It's all very noble and tear-invoking to be totally responsible for a spouse's care, but there comes a point when you realize that you're keeping someone else alive at the expense of destroying your own health. Or else you end up sicker than the person in your care. Martyrdom is so pretty from the outside, though.


It's not really on anyone else to judge. Perhaps these are life choices the two discussed prior to her injuries. Just as the choice to not continue on, the choice to live is quite personal and not something to be judged by others.
 
2014-04-03 06:38:23 AM
Ten posts in, a Fark thread about Japan that doesn't mention used panties or hentai or any of the other stuff Fark is a thousand times more obsessed with than the mainstream Japanese themselves.

I'm impressed; this must be some sort of record.
 
2014-04-03 06:38:44 AM

phenn: LizEdits: Having spent the last five years caring for a stroke patient, I don't know whether to applaud the guy or question his sanity. It's all very noble and tear-invoking to be totally responsible for a spouse's care, but there comes a point when you realize that you're keeping someone else alive at the expense of destroying your own health. Or else you end up sicker than the person in your care. Martyrdom is so pretty from the outside, though.

It's not really on anyone else to judge. Perhaps these are life choices the two discussed prior to her injuries. Just as the choice to not continue on, the choice to live is quite personal and not something to be judged by others.


Exactly. Which is why articles like the one cited are so damaging. Presenting the husband's choice to continue caring for his disabled wife in a romantic and/or heroic light strongly implies that it is the "correct"--even the "best"--choice. The article itself judges. The fact is, society pressures people into doing the noble thing even when it causes the person acting untold damage. I've walked the walk, I know whereof I speak. So please don't judge me for my choice to see the down side of the article.
 
2014-04-03 06:42:05 AM

LizEdits: The fact is, society pressures people into doing the noble thing even when it causes the person acting untold damage.


Yeah, as far as I'm concerned my grandmother died over ten years ago.  That shriveled neurotic thing, alive and well and making everyone around her miserable, is not my grandmother.  It's a senile dementia zombie that can't remember anything more recent than 1980.  We shoot zombies in the head on TV but we're not allowed to shoot this one.  So we're forced to feed it instead.
 
2014-04-03 06:47:14 AM

LizEdits: Exactly. Which is why articles like the one cited are so damaging. Presenting the husband's choice to continue caring for his disabled wife in a romantic and/or heroic light strongly implies that it is the "correct"--even the "best"--choice. The article itself judges. The fact is, society pressures people into doing the noble thing even when it causes the person acting untold damage. I've walked the walk, I know whereof I speak. So please don't judge me for my choice to see the down side of the article.


Ah, maybe so.

Mind you, we see plenty of articles that express the courage of family members for 'letting go'. So, it's kind of a two-way street.

And, I don't judge you at all. Just seeing the other side of it.
 
2014-04-03 07:29:11 AM
There once was a woman from Japan
Who had a clot in her brain pan.
Her husband quit work
But don't feel for the dork
Because she won't complain when he sticks it in her can.


/Who wants the window seat next to me?
 
2014-04-03 07:30:35 AM

dragonchild: LizEdits: The fact is, society pressures people into doing the noble thing even when it causes the person acting untold damage.

Yeah, as far as I'm concerned my grandmother died over ten years ago.  That shriveled neurotic thing, alive and well and making everyone around her miserable, is not my grandmother.  It's a senile dementia zombie that can't remember anything more recent than 1980.  We shoot zombies in the head on TV but we're not allowed to shoot this one.  So we're forced to feed it instead.


My God, honey, I feel for you. In 1992 I thought my father was going to end up that way after he had a massive stroke. I never imagined that my mother would put his best interests over her own fear of losing him (even though he was already gone; his body was nothing but a shell). I was floored when she agreed to pull the plug--and I was proud of her. It was the noblest thing she ever did, and she was a pretty noble lady anyway.

In an evolved society, we'd let people like your grandmother go to their rest. Instead, we have to be all noble and heroic, and destroy entire families in the process.
 
2014-04-03 07:44:16 AM
Tanka you, tanka you.

jennifermichie.com
 
2014-04-03 07:53:20 AM

MythDragon: There once was a woman from Japan
Who had a clot in her brain pan.
Her husband quit work
But don't feel for the dork
Because she won't complain when he sticks it in her can.


/Who wants the window seat next to me?


A work of brilliance spoiled by one fatal flaw: attempting to rhyme "work" with "dork", when they sound nothing alike! If only you had used "jerk" instead of "dork", you'd have gotten the first class upgrade on your ticket...
 
2014-04-03 08:04:53 AM

RobSeace: MythDragon: There once was a woman from Japan
Who had a clot in her brain pan.
Her husband quit work
But don't feel for the dork
Because she won't complain when he sticks it in her can.


/Who wants the window seat next to me?

A work of brilliance spoiled by one fatal flaw: attempting to rhyme "work" with "dork", when they sound nothing alike! If only you had used "jerk" instead of "dork", you'd have gotten the first class upgrade on your ticket...


I was gonna go for 'jerk' to begin with, but I felt kinda bad for calling the guy a jerk for taking care of his wife :/
And it works if you pronounce 'work' like the beginning of Worf.
 
2014-04-03 08:46:43 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You can't feels your body,
but I can too.
 
2014-04-03 12:51:05 PM
It would be very inappropriate to make a joke about stroke-damaged wives, right?

Because if so, I would like to submit one about "my strokes damaged subby's wife when I took her to pound town last night."

Or whatever
 
2014-04-03 01:09:54 PM
Empty fresh bedpan, do you remember me now,stroke it touch stroke it.
 
2014-04-03 01:19:39 PM

LizEdits: dragonchild: LizEdits: The fact is, society pressures people into doing the noble thing even when it causes the person acting untold damage.

Yeah, as far as I'm concerned my grandmother died over ten years ago.  That shriveled neurotic thing, alive and well and making everyone around her miserable, is not my grandmother.  It's a senile dementia zombie that can't remember anything more recent than 1980.  We shoot zombies in the head on TV but we're not allowed to shoot this one.  So we're forced to feed it instead.

My God, honey, I feel for you. In 1992 I thought my father was going to end up that way after he had a massive stroke. I never imagined that my mother would put his best interests over her own fear of losing him (even though he was already gone; his body was nothing but a shell). I was floored when she agreed to pull the plug--and I was proud of her. It was the noblest thing she ever did, and she was a pretty noble lady anyway.

In an evolved society, we'd let people like your grandmother go to their rest. Instead, we have to be all noble and heroic, and destroy entire families in the process.


Yeah, when my grandfather had a heart and attack and stroke and could no longer function, grandma opted against the feeding tube and other life support, and that was it for him. Her kids did the same for her years later after her organs started failing, and it was painful. Docs said elderly usually go after a couple weeks with no food, she lasted over a month.
 
2014-04-03 02:48:22 PM
65 is not elderly it's barely old.
 
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