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(CNN)   The pangolin: a relatively unknown (to Western world) mammal that looks like a dragon that nobody will ever hear of again. Why? Because it's "delicious"   (cnn.com) divider line 112
    More: Sad, thai people  
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16408 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2014 at 1:11 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-02 11:56:02 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2014-04-03 01:17:09 AM

fusillade762: [farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x374]


I'm surprised noone has made a movie involving those things. They make our vampires look farking tame by comparison
 
2014-04-03 01:18:31 AM
Is there anything that Chinese people won't eat?
 
2014-04-03 01:18:51 AM
Asian cultures are farking retarded about this shiat.

How is it, to this day, that many people still believe there is a preparation of animal bit for every illness?

Except their shiattiest stuff, like the asian carp, which they bring to america because god forbid they eat our fish instead. Ugh.

Seriously, asians are like the worst stewards of nature of all time.
 
2014-04-03 01:18:58 AM
Looks like a dragon? I doubt it has even one consummate V inside that mouth.
 
2014-04-03 01:19:24 AM
Unknown? I guess subby had the Red version.
 
2014-04-03 01:21:11 AM
Can't we just Sharpie some scales a bunch of armadillos, ship them to China, and call it a day?
 
2014-04-03 01:23:51 AM
They are found in Namibia too. But you are considered very, very lucky if you see one. I have seen one in the wild driving between Gobabis and Windhoek. I have a friend who was a game warden and a tour guide and he has never seen one.

But since we have had a huge influx of Chinese in our country i expect they won't be there for long anymore.
 
2014-04-03 01:24:52 AM
palf-enforcement.org

 2.bp.blogspot.com


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.
 
2014-04-03 01:25:08 AM
All mammals are tasty.
 
2014-04-03 01:25:09 AM
Can someone please recommend some decent nonslip pangolin golf gloves?
 
2014-04-03 01:25:23 AM
If you assume only 10% to 20% of the actual trade is reported by the news media, the true number trafficked over a two-year period was 116,990 to 233,980,

So an assumption with single-digit precision leads to 5 digits of precision in the result?
 
2014-04-03 01:26:20 AM

Mega Steve: fusillade762: [farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x374]

I'm surprised noone has made a movie involving those things. They make our vampires look farking tame by comparison


Masquerade prevents anyone from making a movie about them.  They just ghoul or enthrall any mortal who submits a pitch to Hollywood.
 
2014-04-03 01:27:05 AM
Governments and international conservation organizations tend to put their muscle behind "charismatic" species like the rhino or elephant, which are seen in zoos worldwide and are universally beloved.

That's the main reason I say we should keep zoos around. People by nature can give one shiat about what they can't have live access to up close and personal(we even have that feeling about other humans).
 
2014-04-03 01:34:31 AM

ciberido: Mega Steve: fusillade762: [farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x374]

I'm surprised noone has made a movie involving those things. They make our vampires look farking tame by comparison

Masquerade prevents anyone from making a movie about them.  They just ghoul or enthrall any mortal who submits a pitch to Hollywood.


Bloody Ventrue and their insatiable need for blood-drunk sycophants...
 
2014-04-03 01:37:06 AM

meat0918: [palf-enforcement.org image 850x636]

 [2.bp.blogspot.com image 391x508]


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.


Me too! I also want to cast a spell and give them all +3 armor so they've got a fighting chance of survival.
 
2014-04-03 01:41:03 AM

Natsumi: I have seen one in the wild driving between Gobabis and Windhoek.


Isn't it dangerous for a pangolin to drive?
 
2014-04-03 01:43:41 AM

Meliorist: If you assume only 10% to 20% of the actual trade is reported by the news media, the true number trafficked over a two-year period was 116,990 to 233,980,

So an assumption with single-digit precision leads to 5 digits of precision in the result?


Yeah... He really needed to explain why making that leap is justified.

I'm not saying it isn't justified; I suspect it's not as far off as we could wish. But you don't just throw in that kind of assumption without explaining why you think it's reasonable.
 
2014-04-03 01:45:43 AM

Natsumi: They are found in Namibia too. But you are considered very, very lucky if you see one. I have seen one in the wild driving between Gobabis and Windhoek. I have a friend who was a game warden and a tour guide and he has never seen one.

But since we have had a huge influx of Chinese in our country i expect they won't be there for long anymore.


Lucky you for seeing one. And time to get that pangolin publicity machine cranked up in Namibia.
 
2014-04-03 01:46:04 AM
Daddy, I want a Pangolin!  No, I want it now!

lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-04-03 01:47:53 AM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: meat0918: [palf-enforcement.org image 850x636]

 [2.bp.blogspot.com image 391x508]


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.

Me too! I also want to cast a spell and give them all +3 armor so they've got a fighting chance of survival.


Pangolin, you have discovered a Fire Breath Scroll.
 
2014-04-03 01:49:06 AM
A few years ago, the comic strip Cul de Sac introduced me to pangolins. It's what I think of whenever I hear about them!

Here's a link, you'll have to click through, the pangolin costume story takes about all of October.
 
2014-04-03 01:49:23 AM

Mega Steve: fusillade762: [farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x374]

I'm surprised noone has made a movie involving those things. They make our vampires look farking tame by comparison


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystics_in_Bali

Still waiting for the Hollywood remake.
 
2014-04-03 01:51:01 AM
Hey, pangolin may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I'd never eat the filthy motherfarker
 
2014-04-03 01:53:15 AM
I'll eat anything


'cept your mom 'cause she's got a serious case of tuna casserole going on, know what I mean?
 
2014-04-03 01:57:23 AM

Mega Steve: fusillade762: [farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x374]

I'm surprised noone has made a movie involving those things. They make our vampires look farking tame by comparison


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzevWRlWxO8
 
2014-04-03 01:58:43 AM

Mega Steve: fusillade762: [farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x374]

I'm surprised noone has made a movie involving those things. They make our vampires look farking tame by comparison


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-9fV4gFTeo
 
2014-04-03 02:03:01 AM

syrynxx: Is there anything that Chinese people won't eat?


Babies. Although they might be interested in a modest proposal.
 
2014-04-03 02:07:46 AM

Smackledorfer: Asian cultures are farking retarded about this shiat.

How is it, to this day, that many people still believe there is a preparation of animal bit for every illness?

Seriously, asians are like the worst stewards of nature of all time.


Pretty much. I mean, the west has been really awful to animals too, but wtf is with driving animals to extinction because of "traditional Chinese medicine"? Knock it off, assholes. How can so many people be so dumb and also not give a flying fark about what they kill?

It's not just medicine. Look at shark fin soup. Sharks die by the millions and tens of millions and often only the fin is cut off. The rest of the animal is thrown back in the water to die. Does that stop people from paying big money to have their soup? Fark no.
 
2014-04-03 02:08:50 AM
The only people that think pangolins look like dragons are people that have never heard of armadillos and anteaters. It's sad they're so nervous and hard to feed, though. We could probably preserve them as a species just by taking a few of the rescued ones and breeding them for pets.
 
2014-04-03 02:16:01 AM
Article:  It's crazy, it looks like a pinecone, it looks like a dragon, you've never seen anything like it.

It looks like an armadillo.  Nothing crazy about that.
 
2014-04-03 02:16:17 AM
blog.africageographic.com

Oh, bother.
 
2014-04-03 02:23:39 AM
You say "looks like a dragon", I say "looks like an artichoke".
 
2014-04-03 02:26:05 AM
www.beheadingboredom.com
 
2014-04-03 02:26:44 AM
i.cdn.turner.com

Armadillos are dragons?
 
2014-04-03 02:27:08 AM

proteus_b: Natsumi: I have seen one in the wild driving between Gobabis and Windhoek.

Isn't it dangerous for a pangolin to drive?


Probably... Sorry, that happens when you think in one language and type in another. Afrikaans grammar is sometimes the opposite to English.
 
2014-04-03 02:30:21 AM

fastbow: Can't we just Sharpie some scales a bunch of armadillos, ship them to China, and call it a day?


Armadillos carry leprosy... hmmmm.
 
2014-04-03 02:31:45 AM
didn't even have to click the link to know that it was the chinese medicinal/magic potion market that is killing the animal.

Sadly, it is something I doubt education will ever get rid of there or elsewhere.
 
2014-04-03 02:32:36 AM
In addition to the f*cking adorable picture above, I will add that when I was in the fourth grade I was given the pangolin as an animal to report about for a class project.  I was so excited that I made a life size model of it out of plaster of Paris and covered it with scales cut from my grandpa's WW2 leather bomber jacket.  Got an A+ on the project but dad tanned my ass for cutting up grandpa's sweet jacket.  The end.
 
2014-04-03 02:34:52 AM
How did I know even before clicking the link that this thing is being overhunted for use in some bullshiat Asian panacea?

I'm king shiat of f**k island, that's why.
 
2014-04-03 02:37:46 AM
Goddamn it China, this is why we can't have nice things!

Assholes.
 
2014-04-03 02:39:05 AM

proteus_b: Natsumi: I have seen one in the wild driving between Gobabis and Windhoek.

Isn't it dangerous for a pangolin to drive?


I saw a pangolin drive a Ford Fusion into a Trader Vic's.

/His scales were perfect.
 
2014-04-03 02:41:32 AM
if it moves, breathes, walks or flies, the chinaman will eat it.

disgusting subhumans...
 
2014-04-03 02:46:38 AM
Gee, that article was fascinating.
 
2014-04-03 02:48:47 AM
Jumping Jesus on a farking pogo stick China! We have farking real medicine that works. Stop eating crazy animals because you think that their powdered gall bladders will make your micro penis grow in the afterlife and bring honor to your dead aunt is a or whatever the fark you asshats believe it does for you.
 
2014-04-03 02:49:52 AM

picturescrazy: All mammals are tasty.


...especially over fava beans with a nice Chianti, Clarice...
 
2014-04-03 02:52:19 AM

Natsumi: proteus_b: Natsumi: I have seen one in the wild driving between Gobabis and Windhoek.

Isn't it dangerous for a pangolin to drive?

Probably... Sorry, that happens when you think in one language and type in another. Afrikaans grammar is sometimes the opposite to English.


It isn't unusual to hear that from English speakers too, though it is a bit confusing.  "While driving" would clear things up though.
 
2014-04-03 03:01:26 AM
I'll stick to eating non-wild critters, thanks.

/that wild caught fish in the health food shop makes kitty angry
//you don't want to make kitty angry
 
2014-04-03 03:02:41 AM
Hmmmm...looks like an armourdildo.
 
2014-04-03 03:08:26 AM

Smackledorfer: Asian cultures are farking retarded about this shiat.

How is it, to this day, that many people still believe there is a preparation of animal bit for every illness?

Except their shiattiest stuff, like the asian carp, which they bring to america because god forbid they eat our fish instead. Ugh.

Seriously, asians are like the worst stewards of nature of all time.


It seems to be a long held, possibly genetically ingrained thing, this idea that you could be cured by eating some specific food. Just because it works in a few specific cases, for example oranges contain vitamin C and therefore treat scurvy, that doesn't make it true for everything.

This idea of food as cure still holds in Western cultures. Every now and then you can find someone who of will try and claim that eating a diet consisting of only macro-biotic 100% organic purely vegetarian heirloom cacti is what cured their cancer.

Western society also moved from eating obscure animal parts as a cure for a specific ill, to instead believing that certain fruits, or food groups, will give us vitality and longevity (a couple of very generalised and difficult to prove claims). There is no shortage of articles consisting of "eat this and live longer".

But at least we are eating stuff we are deliberating growing for food, instead of depleting the wildlife.
 
2014-04-03 03:35:22 AM
I don't get why this was under the entertainment tab. Did the mods assume it was a Game of Thrones thing?
 
2014-04-03 05:29:38 AM
img.fark.net

http://news.yahoo.com/boat-filled-protected-species-hits-coral-reef- 09 4802333.html?everythingsbetterdownwhereitswetter


: "MANILA, Philippines (AP) - A Chinese boat that ran into a coral reef in the southwestern Philippines held evidence of even more environmental destruction inside: more than 10,000 kilograms (22,000 pounds) of meat from a protected species, the pangolin or scaly anteater.

The steel-hulled vessel hit an atoll on April 8 at the Tubbataha National Marine Park, a UNESCO-designated World Heritage Site on Palawan island. Coast guard spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Armand Balilo said Monday that 400 boxes, each containing 25 to 30 kilograms of frozen pangolins, were discovered during a second inspection of the boat Saturday.

The World Wide Fund for Nature Philippines said the Chinese vessel F/N Min Long Yu could have been carrying up to 2,000 of the toothless, insect-eating animals rolled up in the boxes, with their scales already removed.

"It is bad enough that the Chinese have illegally entered our seas, navigated without boat papers and crashed recklessly into a national marine park and World Heritage Site," said WWF-Philippines chief executive officer Jose Ma. Lorenzo Tan. "It is simply deplorable that they appear to be posing as fishermen to trade in illegal wildlife."

The boat's 12 Chinese crewmen are being detained on charges of poaching and attempted bribery, said Adelina Villena, the marine park's lawyer. She said more charges are being prepared against them, including damaging the corals and violating the country's wildlife law for being found in possession of the pangolin meat."
 
2014-04-03 05:43:17 AM
Send them to arizona. Maybe the scales will protect them from the local shot gun blasts. They might do fairly well there.
 
2014-04-03 06:00:13 AM

picturescrazy: All mammals are tasty.


As a rule, only the herbivores and omnivores are delicious.
 
2014-04-03 06:07:34 AM

EbolaNYC: Jumping Jesus on a farking pogo stick China! We have farking real medicine that works. Stop eating crazy animals because you think that their powdered gall bladders will make your micro penis grow in the afterlife and bring honor to your dead aunt is a or whatever the fark you asshats believe it does for you.


This is why the whole "alternative" medicine stuff is bullshiat. They rag on Western medicine for "being about cutting and chopping", but eastern medicine seems to be nothing but eating endangered species. Got a cold? Eat an endangered species. Dysentery? Eat an endangered species. Multiple organ failures? Eat an endangered species. Bizarre new disease caused by eating an endangered species? Eat an endangered species. More wholesome and natural my ass.
 
2014-04-03 06:08:13 AM
I thought they looked like a cross between a vioin and a banjo?
 
2014-04-03 06:08:18 AM
I thought they looked like a cross between a violin and a banjo?
 
2014-04-03 06:26:17 AM
If you had one for a pet, you'd never run out of guitar picks!
 
2014-04-03 06:48:17 AM
Get in my belly, endangered rock monster looking thing!
 
2014-04-03 06:53:20 AM

Nidiot: Western society also moved from eating obscure animal parts as a cure for a specific ill


No, we didn't, we just package it into "homeopatic medicines" and selling it in as nice beautiful factory-made pills. Case in point: "homeopatic cure" against flu which is some obscure part of the duck or swan, I don't remember which, packed in sugar, in tiny portion.

As for raging against Chinese, please remember that huge part of China are uneducated peasants or were uneducated peasants just one generation ago. You can't just stop believing what your society believes just because someone somewhere knows better. Case in point, for US audience: Amish, Scientologists, GOP. Come to shout at Chinese when your church of scientology came into right mind. :)
 
2014-04-03 07:08:07 AM

brimed03: Mitch Taylor's Bro: meat0918: [palf-enforcement.org image 850x636]

 [2.bp.blogspot.com image 391x508]


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.

Me too! I also want to cast a spell and give them all +3 armor so they've got a fighting chance of survival.

Pangolin, you have discovered a Fire Breath Scroll.


enchant an item, + the scroll, plus permanency and you have it covered.

of course, keep in mind that every time you use permanency you loose a point in wisdom or something else rather important... maybe a wish spell might be better (if you are a lawyer by nature).
 
2014-04-03 07:12:13 AM

Richard C Stanford: EbolaNYC: Jumping Jesus on a farking pogo stick China! We have farking real medicine that works. Stop eating crazy animals because you think that their powdered gall bladders will make your micro penis grow in the afterlife and bring honor to your dead aunt is a or whatever the fark you asshats believe it does for you.

This is why the whole "alternative" medicine stuff is bullshiat. They rag on Western medicine for "being about cutting and chopping", but eastern medicine seems to be nothing but eating endangered species. Got a cold? Eat an endangered species. Dysentery? Eat an endangered species. Multiple organ failures? Eat an endangered species. Bizarre new disease caused by eating an endangered species? Eat an endangered species. More wholesome and natural my ass.


protip: western medicine sources it's medicine from both plant and animal sources.

metonymymedia.com
 
2014-04-03 07:14:50 AM
FTA: "2.Pangolins sticking out their tongues, which are longer than their bodies. (The tongues can be longer than a foot, and they actually start at the pelvis.)"

O.o

Talk about being popular with the ladies...
 
2014-04-03 07:16:41 AM

PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: How did I know even before clicking the link that this thing is being overhunted for use in some bullshiat Asian panacea?

I'm king shiat of f**k island, that's why.


What I don't get is that you have a country that limits the number of kids you can keep alive because of over population controls, yet every man in that country is apparently willing to eat a bear pancrease or pangolin scales to keep their dick hard.
 
2014-04-03 07:21:34 AM

Meliorist: If you assume only 10% to 20% of the actual trade is reported by the news media, the true number trafficked over a two-year period was 116,990 to 233,980,

So an assumption with single-digit precision leads to 5 digits of precision in the result?


This is why advocate slide rule use:  You don't have a problem with false precision.
 
2014-04-03 07:22:46 AM

dittybopper: Meliorist: If you assume only 10% to 20% of the actual trade is reported by the news media, the true number trafficked over a two-year period was 116,990 to 233,980,

So an assumption with single-digit precision leads to 5 digits of precision in the result?

This is why advocate slide rule use:  You don't have a problem with false precision.


That should read "This is why me advocate slide rule use".
 
2014-04-03 07:26:47 AM

Nidiot: Smackledorfer: Asian cultures are farking retarded about this shiat.

How is it, to this day, that many people still believe there is a preparation of animal bit for every illness?

Except their shiattiest stuff, like the asian carp, which they bring to america because god forbid they eat our fish instead. Ugh.

Seriously, asians are like the worst stewards of nature of all time.

It seems to be a long held, possibly genetically ingrained thing, this idea that you could be cured by eating some specific food. Just because it works in a few specific cases, for example oranges contain vitamin C and therefore treat scurvy, that doesn't make it true for everything.

This idea of food as cure still holds in Western cultures. Every now and then you can find someone who of will try and claim that eating a diet consisting of only macro-biotic 100% organic purely vegetarian heirloom cacti is what cured their cancer.

Western society also moved from eating obscure animal parts as a cure for a specific ill, to instead believing that certain fruits, or food groups, will give us vitality and longevity (a couple of very generalised and difficult to prove claims). There is no shortage of articles consisting of "eat this and live longer".

But at least we are eating stuff we are deliberating growing for food, instead of depleting the wildlife.


My husband's aunt thinks that becoming a vegan 'cured' her Graves' disease. She was trying to convince me to become vegan to cure mine, and I was like "I have medicine for that". I have another friend who is convinced that there is something wrong with her son because he doesn't sleep through the night, and has thought that of him since he was 4 months old. She's taken him to every allergist and has restricted him from dairy and grain of any sort. She also took him to a homeopathic doctor who "diagnosed" him with "Candida" and gave this baby a shiat ton of vitamins to take. I don't know why she thinks it's not normal for a 14 month old to still wake up at night, but maybe the kid is HUNGRY.

People in the West turn to this stuff when they don't trust doctors or get on the internet too much.
 
2014-04-03 07:28:53 AM

jaybeezey: PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: How did I know even before clicking the link that this thing is being overhunted for use in some bullshiat Asian panacea?

I'm king shiat of f**k island, that's why.

What I don't get is that you have a country that limits the number of kids you can keep alive because of over population controls, yet every man in that country is apparently willing to eat a bear pancrease or pangolin scales to keep their dick hard.


It's funny:  Sport hunters get a lot of the blame, unfairly it turns out, for decreasing animal populations.  Actually, it's market hunters* selling animal parts.

For example, to the extent hunting contributed to the decline in tiger populations, it wasn't Chauncy Uppercrust on a howdah that caused it, it was hunters looking to make a fast buck by selling tiger penis to limp-dicked Chinamen.


*Poachers are market hunters, for the most part, just *ILLEGAL* market hunters.
 
2014-04-03 07:36:43 AM

HindiDiscoMonster: protip: western medicine sources it's medicine from both plant and animal sources.


Protip - western medicine sources medicine with an evidence base and often takes sustainability into account, farming the ingredients where possible. Unlike Chinese medicine which is based on magical thinking and which prizes animals more highly the rarer they are, effectively hounding them to extinction.

When the world runs out of wild tigers, it will only be partially because of habitat destruction. The rest will be poached so some eastern businessman can eat tiger-cock soup in the misguided belief he can take its power.
 
2014-04-03 07:49:32 AM

picturescrazy: All mammals are tasty.


Especially the human variety.
 
2014-04-03 07:57:16 AM

HindiDiscoMonster: Richard C Stanford: EbolaNYC: Jumping Jesus on a farking pogo stick China! We have farking real medicine that works. Stop eating crazy animals because you think that their powdered gall bladders will make your micro penis grow in the afterlife and bring honor to your dead aunt is a or whatever the fark you asshats believe it does for you.

This is why the whole "alternative" medicine stuff is bullshiat. They rag on Western medicine for "being about cutting and chopping", but eastern medicine seems to be nothing but eating endangered species. Got a cold? Eat an endangered species. Dysentery? Eat an endangered species. Multiple organ failures? Eat an endangered species. Bizarre new disease caused by eating an endangered species? Eat an endangered species. More wholesome and natural my ass.

protip: western medicine sources it's medicine from both plant and animal sources.


Yes, I know that. But sourcing it's medicine from plants and animals /= eating bear bile to cure impotency.
 
2014-04-03 08:01:18 AM

HindiDiscoMonster: protip: western medicine sources it's medicine from both plant and animal sources.



Yes, and we try and stay focussed on things that actually work, you know, like the saying goes: What do they call alternative medicine that actually works? Medicine.

I'd like to think that, while plants and animals are the original sources for many cures, we put some effort into testing to see if they actually do anything, rather than just finding some random endangered species, looking it over, and declaring it the cure for lung cancer and an itchy ass, and then selling the parts for profit regardless of effect.

We do sell an awful lot of pills in western society that do fark all too, but at least we aren't wiping out a species in the process. I'd truly rather people weren't idiots that can be sucked in by witchcraft or homeopathy or any other of the miracles on offer in the first place. But at this stage I think I'll just be grateful if we can at least avoid the annihilation of all other living creatures simply because some people go through their entire life with their brain on stand-by mode.
 
2014-04-03 08:01:58 AM

Meliorist: If you assume only 10% to 20% of the actual trade is reported by the news media, the true number trafficked over a two-year period was 116,990 to 233,980,

So an assumption with single-digit precision leads to 5 digits of precision in the result?


ratios have infinite precision.
 
2014-04-03 08:06:08 AM

EbolaNYC: Jumping Jesus on a farking pogo stick China! We have farking real medicine that works. Stop eating crazy animals because you think that their powdered gall bladders will make your micro penis grow in the afterlife and bring honor to your dead aunt is a or whatever the fark you asshats believe it does for you.


No wonder they are freaking commies.

They also pollute the shiat out of their environment and make untold tons of shiatty products.
 
2014-04-03 08:07:12 AM

Nidiot: We do sell an awful lot of pills in western society that do fark all too, but at least we aren't wiping out a species in the process. I'd truly rather people weren't idiots that can be sucked in by witchcraft or homeopathy or any other of the miracles on offer in the first place. But at this stage I think I'll just be grateful if we can at least avoid the annihilation of all other living creatures simply because some people go through their entire life with their brain on stand-by mode.


We should get the Chinese hooked on homeopathy.  Then just one example of an endangered animal will serve all their medicinal needs in perpetuity.
 
2014-04-03 08:16:58 AM
Here's how we solve this problem. Any time we catch people with "dead" rare animals, we detain them just long enough to poison the carcass with something that will kill anything that eats it. Then return them to the smugglers with an "oops, our bad". Smugglers distribute tainted animals, which now gain a reputation for killing people who eat them, or if not, the buyers quit using the smugglers.
 
2014-04-03 08:22:40 AM

Smackledorfer: Asian cultures are farking retarded about this shiat.

How is it, to this day, that many people still believe there is a preparation of animal bit for every illness?

Except their shiattiest stuff, like the asian carp, which they bring to america because god forbid they eat our fish instead. Ugh.

Seriously, asians are like the worst stewards of nature of all time.


Agreed!
 
2014-04-03 08:24:27 AM
strangefive.com

Panglin bag
 
2014-04-03 08:32:23 AM
Weren't Mathew Brodrick & Marlon Brando trying to serve that thing to a bunch of rich foodies?
 
2014-04-03 08:34:12 AM

fusillade762:


Oh I like you.
 
2014-04-03 08:54:02 AM
I'm posting this reply via a pangolin... a precise pangolin.
 
2014-04-03 08:56:41 AM

Delta1212: Unknown? I guess subby had the Red version.


I wonder how many people will understand that statement and/or know exactly one you're referencing which wasn't in Red.
 
2014-04-03 08:59:02 AM

msupf: didn't even have to click the link to know that it was the chinese medicinal/magic potion market that is killing the animal.

Sadly, it is something I doubt education will ever get rid of there or elsewhere.


Here's my Thomas Friedman-esque CSB:  I was riding in a taxicab that was driven by a Chinese man,  It was cold, and he told me that he had just eaten some stewed dog, because that's the right thing to eat to warm you up.  Then he said something about dragons did once actually exist, but that they were all eaten by Chinese people because they had 'healthful' qualities'.  I said something about how we should make sure that no more species like that were driven to extinction.  He said that Chinese people don't care about that, they just want what they want.  I said that was a very bad attitude.  He said that he didn't worry, because Americans will stop the Asians from killing everything.
 
2014-04-03 09:25:24 AM

nero_design: [img.fark.net image 834x1024]

http://news.yahoo.com/boat-filled-protected-species-hits-coral-reef- 09 4802333.html?everythingsbetterdownwhereitswetter


: "MANILA, Philippines (AP) - A Chinese boat that ran into a coral reef in the southwestern Philippines held evidence of even more environmental destruction inside: more than 10,000 kilograms (22,000 pounds) of meat from a protected species, the pangolin or scaly anteater.

The steel-hulled vessel hit an atoll on April 8 at the Tubbataha National Marine Park, a UNESCO-designated World Heritage Site on Palawan island. Coast guard spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Armand Balilo said Monday that 400 boxes, each containing 25 to 30 kilograms of frozen pangolins, were discovered during a second inspection of the boat Saturday.

The World Wide Fund for Nature Philippines said the Chinese vessel F/N Min Long Yu could have been carrying up to 2,000 of the toothless, insect-eating animals rolled up in the boxes, with their scales already removed.

"It is bad enough that the Chinese have illegally entered our seas, navigated without boat papers and crashed recklessly into a national marine park and World Heritage Site," said WWF-Philippines chief executive officer Jose Ma. Lorenzo Tan. "It is simply deplorable that they appear to be posing as fishermen to trade in illegal wildlife."

The boat's 12 Chinese crewmen are being detained on charges of poaching and attempted bribery, said Adelina Villena, the marine park's lawyer. She said more charges are being prepared against them, including damaging the corals and violating the country's wildlife law for being found in possession of the pangolin meat."


Did they light a pile of old tires on fire for a signal flare, and then dump some oil into the water so the rescuers could find them before their supply of panda jerky ran out?
I mean, if you're going to wreak environmental havoc, go big or go home.
 
2014-04-03 09:26:46 AM

IExpectAKill: In addition to the f*cking adorable picture above, I will add that when I was in the fourth grade I was given the pangolin as an animal to report about for a class project.  I was so excited that I made a life size model of it out of plaster of Paris and covered it with scales cut from my grandpa's WW2 leather bomber jacket.  Got an A+ on the project but dad tanned my ass for cutting up grandpa's sweet jacket.  The end.


That's funny, thanks for the laugh.
 
2014-04-03 09:31:57 AM
This little critter is pretty darn cool. Tragically, the most cutest happen to be the most tasty, at least in SE Asia.

/Guard your kittens, puppies.
 
2014-04-03 09:38:03 AM

dittybopper: Nidiot: We do sell an awful lot of pills in western society that do fark all too, but at least we aren't wiping out a species in the process. I'd truly rather people weren't idiots that can be sucked in by witchcraft or homeopathy or any other of the miracles on offer in the first place. But at this stage I think I'll just be grateful if we can at least avoid the annihilation of all other living creatures simply because some people go through their entire life with their brain on stand-by mode.

We should get the Chinese hooked on homeopathy.  Then just one example of an endangered animal will serve all their medicinal needs in perpetuity.


Or better yet: The liver of a smuggler cures back pain. The heart of a poacher cures ED.

Problem solved inside of six months.
 
2014-04-03 09:39:33 AM
blogs.scientificamerican.com

Dear God, these things are adorable. How have I not known about these guys before?
 
2014-04-03 09:58:15 AM
My new favorite word is "pangolarium".
 
2014-04-03 10:09:04 AM
So from what I'm noticing, if we want to save animals from extinction, we have to either educate the fark out of Chinese, or kill all the Chinese over in Asia?
 
2014-04-03 10:12:42 AM
www.spscriptorium.com

PENGIN!!
 
2014-04-03 10:42:54 AM

The_Original_Roxtar: I'm posting this reply via a pangolin... a precise pangolin.


techrights.org

Thanks you for your support.
 
2014-04-03 10:54:09 AM
If it's delicious, it might survive as well as the cow has.
 
2014-04-03 11:05:11 AM

patrick767: Pretty much. I mean, the west has been really awful to animals too, but wtf is with driving animals to extinction because of "traditional Chinese medicine"? Knock it off, assholes. How can so many people be so dumb and also not give a flying fark about what they kill?

It's not just medicine. Look at shark fin soup. Sharks die by the millions and tens of millions and often only the fin is cut off. The rest of the animal is thrown back in the water to die. Does that stop people from paying big money to have their soup? Fark no.


It's nothing more than Conspicuous Consumption for Asians.  Eating rare animals - pangolin, tiger, panda, shark, puffer fish, etc. - means you can afford to pay the outrageous prices, and so your perceived status goes up.  Asians tend to take the whole "saving face" thing very, very seriously.

Now, that's not to say there isn't something to the whole "traditional Chinese medicine" thing, but you don't have to kill thousands of a species to locate the active ingredients.  And fark the Japanese for continuing to kill whales under the guise of "research".  Everyone knows those animals end up in high-end restaurants.

This is why we'll need zoos and animal sanctuaries for many, many decades.
 
2014-04-03 11:10:28 AM

meat0918: [palf-enforcement.org image 850x636]

 [2.bp.blogspot.com image 391x508]


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.


Why would you do that? I mean, the sloths just... lay there. They don't really participate, y'know? I'd rather get busy with a member of my own species anyway.
 
2014-04-03 11:15:15 AM

CRtwenty: [blogs.scientificamerican.com image 550x386]

Dear God, these things are adorable.


Keep in mind that they have front claws that can tear open  termite mounds that are as hard as concrete.  If one gets pissed at you, it can cause some serious damage.
 
2014-04-03 11:49:21 AM

Smackledorfer: Asian cultures are farking retarded about this shiat.

How is it, to this day, that many people still believe there is a preparation of animal bit for every illness?

Except their shiattiest stuff, like the asian carp, which they bring to america because god forbid they eat our fish instead. Ugh.

Seriously, asians are like the worst stewards of nature of all time.


this x 10
 
2014-04-03 12:07:17 PM
I had a thought.

Perhaps an enterprising activist could sell fake "parts" of endangered species. Additionally, these counterfeit components would be laced with a deadly poison. This solves two problems: the "demand" for endangered species is satisfied without actually harming the population, and those creating the "demand" will be killed off, reducing the demand in the long term.
 
2014-04-03 12:39:49 PM
And they look so dapper all dolled up!

sircritter.com
[source: sir critter]
 
2014-04-03 01:50:17 PM

dittybopper: dittybopper: Meliorist: If you assume only 10% to 20% of the actual trade is reported by the news media, the true number trafficked over a two-year period was 116,990 to 233,980,

So an assumption with single-digit precision leads to 5 digits of precision in the result?

This is why advocate slide rule use:  You don't have a problem with false precision.

That should read "This is why me advocate slide rule use".


Bullshiat.  If you can't count it on your fingers, it doesn't need counting.  No problems with false precision there!

/you can remove your shoes for numbers over 10
//and pants for numbers up to 21
///if you're a guy
 
2014-04-03 01:52:33 PM

spacemanjones: Weren't Mathew Brodrick & Marlon Brando trying to serve that thing to a bunch of rich foodies?


No, Komodo Dragon.

/Heeeere she is, your komodo draaaaaaaagooon...
 
2014-04-03 03:01:36 PM

washington-babylon: meat0918: [palf-enforcement.org image 850x636]

 [2.bp.blogspot.com image 391x508]


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.

Why would you do that? I mean, the sloths just... lay there. They don't really participate, y'know? I'd rather get busy with a member of my own species anyway.


Why not both?

www.ivegandiet.com
 
2014-04-03 03:17:57 PM

Gothnet: HindiDiscoMonster: protip: western medicine sources it's medicine from both plant and animal sources.

Protip - western medicine sources medicine with an evidence base and often takes sustainability into account, farming the ingredients where possible. Unlike Chinese medicine which is based on magical thinking and which prizes animals more highly the rarer they are, effectively hounding them to extinction.

When the world runs out of wild tigers, it will only be partially because of habitat destruction. The rest will be poached so some eastern businessman can eat tiger-cock soup in the misguided belief he can take its power.


I never addressed that point. I simply addressed the point that seemed to be made that western medicine was produced from a magical place which had no effect on plants or animals... and before you come back with a "flame on" response, read carefully what I said and do not read into it... ie; no artistic interpretation if you please.
 
2014-04-03 03:18:59 PM

Richard C Stanford: HindiDiscoMonster: Richard C Stanford: EbolaNYC: Jumping Jesus on a farking pogo stick China! We have farking real medicine that works. Stop eating crazy animals because you think that their powdered gall bladders will make your micro penis grow in the afterlife and bring honor to your dead aunt is a or whatever the fark you asshats believe it does for you.

This is why the whole "alternative" medicine stuff is bullshiat. They rag on Western medicine for "being about cutting and chopping", but eastern medicine seems to be nothing but eating endangered species. Got a cold? Eat an endangered species. Dysentery? Eat an endangered species. Multiple organ failures? Eat an endangered species. Bizarre new disease caused by eating an endangered species? Eat an endangered species. More wholesome and natural my ass.

protip: western medicine sources it's medicine from both plant and animal sources.

Yes, I know that. But sourcing it's medicine from plants and animals /= eating bear bile to cure impotency.


that point was not addressed.
 
2014-04-03 03:19:44 PM

Nidiot: HindiDiscoMonster: protip: western medicine sources it's medicine from both plant and animal sources.


Yes, and we try and stay focussed on things that actually work, you know, like the saying goes: What do they call alternative medicine that actually works? Medicine.

I'd like to think that, while plants and animals are the original sources for many cures, we put some effort into testing to see if they actually do anything, rather than just finding some random endangered species, looking it over, and declaring it the cure for lung cancer and an itchy ass, and then selling the parts for profit regardless of effect.

We do sell an awful lot of pills in western society that do fark all too, but at least we aren't wiping out a species in the process. I'd truly rather people weren't idiots that can be sucked in by witchcraft or homeopathy or any other of the miracles on offer in the first place. But at this stage I think I'll just be grateful if we can at least avoid the annihilation of all other living creatures simply because some people go through their entire life with their brain on stand-by mode.


I did not address these points.
 
2014-04-03 03:54:39 PM

Huggermugger: He said that he didn't worry, because Americans will stop the Asians from killing everything.


That sounds kind of like how we're supposed to go over and stop every country from annihilating its citizens in every "ethnic cleansing" and civil war that breaks out. Look, I know we have a history of such things, but I get tired of hearing from every country about how we need to go in and save everybody.

Asian cultures are weird and I would not enjoy living in one. If that makes me racist, so be it.

/I don't like our culture either, but at least I understand it.
 
2014-04-03 05:10:55 PM

TopoGigo: picturescrazy: All mammals are tasty.

As a rule, only the herbivores and omnivores are delicious.


That's why I eat vegans.
 
2014-04-03 05:43:18 PM

DjangoStonereaver: washington-babylon: meat0918: [palf-enforcement.org image 850x636]

 [2.bp.blogspot.com image 391x508]


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.

Why would you do that? I mean, the sloths just... lay there. They don't really participate, y'know? I'd rather get busy with a member of my own species anyway.

Why not both?

[www.ivegandiet.com image 800x598]


That is rather creepy. I make it a point to avoid anything with huge claws, period. Farking them would rank pretty high on the list of "stupid ideas liable to cause you to wind up as the subject of a FARK article", I would think. Besides, there are plenty of smarter and more fun options out there. My weakness? Probably best exemplified by this:

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

/she is rather descriptive of her preferences ;)
 
2014-04-03 06:15:03 PM
HindiDiscoMonster:...

"I never addressed that point."

"that point was not addressed."

"I did not address these points."


Looks like now you wished you had. A "protip" post is generally a sarcastic post indicating that you think what has been said before was sufficiently moronic to actually be in need of the information you are about to supply. No one thought at any point "that western medicine was produced from a magical place", and the only person looking even slightly moronic, is you, due to your post making it look as though you entirely missed the issues we were all criticising. Of course you just discovered this with the replies you received.

OTOH, keep this up and you have a glorious future ahead as a troll.
 
2014-04-03 06:42:08 PM

washington-babylon: DjangoStonereaver: washington-babylon: meat0918: [palf-enforcement.org image 850x636]

 [2.bp.blogspot.com image 391x508]


Screw sloths.

I want a pangolin.

Why would you do that? I mean, the sloths just... lay there. They don't really participate, y'know? I'd rather get busy with a member of my own species anyway.

Why not both?

[www.ivegandiet.com image 800x598]

That is rather creepy. I make it a point to avoid anything with huge claws, period. Farking them would rank pretty high on the list of "stupid ideas liable to cause you to wind up as the subject of a FARK article", I would think. Besides, there are plenty of smarter and more fun options out there. My weakness? Probably best exemplified by this:


img.fark.net

/she is rather descriptive of her preferences ;)

See, I should be all over Allison Scagliotti like spots on a leopard, but something about her character
on WAREHOUSE 13 just rankles me.  Probably because she's obviously written to be a complete
sop to the fanbois' 'POWERGRRRL' fantasies.

Still:  she is easy on the eyes:

ilarge.listal.com
 
2014-04-03 09:17:42 PM

Priapetic: dittybopper: dittybopper: Meliorist: If you assume only 10% to 20% of the actual trade is reported by the news media, the true number trafficked over a two-year period was 116,990 to 233,980,

So an assumption with single-digit precision leads to 5 digits of precision in the result?

This is why advocate slide rule use:  You don't have a problem with false precision.

That should read "This is why me advocate slide rule use".

Bullshiat.  If you can't count it on your fingers, it doesn't need counting.  No problems with false precision there!

/you can remove your shoes for numbers over 10
//and pants for numbers up to 21
///if you're a guy


Girls are better at math because we can count to 22.
 
2014-04-03 09:20:34 PM

trickymoo: This little critter is pretty darn cool. Tragically, the most cutest happen to be the most tasty, at least in SE Asia.


Sure, they may be little, but they're deadly.  At one time ancient civilizations used them as battle wagons.  Here's just one historical account:

A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'Hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the the G'Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed pangolins poised to unleash fantastic death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother.

The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words "I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle" drifted across the conference table.

Unfortunately, in the Vl'Hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries.

Eventually of course, after their lands had been decimated over a few thousand years, it was realized that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle fleets settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on our own country - now positively identified as the source of the offending remark.

For thousands more years the mighty pangolins tore across the empty wastes and finally dived screaming on to the first city they came across - which happened to be Glasgow - where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire army was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.

Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect in the history of the Universe say that this sort of thing is going on all the time, but that we are powerless to prevent it.

"It's just life," they say.
 
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