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(Tampa Bay Online)   Guard sees body on the pavement, figures it's an April Fools gag and tosses it in a dumpster. Joke's on him. It was a real body   (tbo.com) divider line 67
    More: Florida, Mike Puetz, sidewalks  
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6609 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2014 at 8:04 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-02 08:02:26 PM  
Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even
 
2014-04-02 08:07:29 PM  

fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even


THIS
 
2014-04-02 08:08:35 PM  
Real Dolls are getting pretty sophisticated these days...
 
2014-04-02 08:09:43 PM  
Then, Benjamin, Beavers and a third employee decided if it were a prank it needed to be removed from the parking lot, Puetz said. They decided the blood they saw underneath the body was red paint.

Not sure if serious?
 
2014-04-02 08:09:46 PM  

eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS


Maybe a 96 year old blue hair looks like a sack of pork after a 16 story fall? Maybe..
 
2014-04-02 08:11:28 PM  

eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS


That
 
2014-04-02 08:11:40 PM  

eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS


Seriously, that's unpossible. I could see thinking it was a mannequin from a distance but close up? Um, no.
 
2014-04-02 08:12:02 PM  
Murder old lady. Enlist the help of others to dispose of body. Claim ignorance. Mask evidence of your involvement. Profit?
 
2014-04-02 08:12:16 PM  

macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That


These.
 
2014-04-02 08:12:25 PM  

fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even


This was my thought too, but it's possible that a 96-year-old woman's corpse is lighter than you'd expect?

Still don't know how you could not have SOME clue.
 
2014-04-02 08:12:57 PM  

fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even


ever pick up an old dead person? Feels like a bag of sticks wrapped in baloney and novelty condoms.
 
2014-04-02 08:13:00 PM  
OMFG that is the most hilarious April fool's joke ever
 
2014-04-02 08:15:25 PM  

Gyrfalcon: macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That

These.


Thisun and Thatun and Theseun.

For one thing, it would smell like a goddamn dead body that fell 16 floors.  Blood smells like iron, and from that impact there was likely a fair amount of shiat as well.
 
2014-04-02 08:16:47 PM  
Remember the woman who hanged herself from the tree in the front yard on Halloween?
Same deal.
 
2014-04-02 08:19:41 PM  
I hope they sue.
 
2014-04-02 08:25:21 PM  

Lsherm: Gyrfalcon: macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That

These.

Thisun and Thatun and Theseun.

For one thing, it would smell like a goddamn dead body that fell 16 floors.   Blood smells like iron, and from that impact there was likely a fair amount of shiat as well.


Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.
 
2014-04-02 08:25:42 PM  
I can kind of see it. I had once totally convinced myself there was an invisible man (ok man like being) spying on me all the time from the clouds. He had a totally arbitrary list of things I should not do, either for my own safety or because he just said no without explanation. If I did them or even talked to much about doing them he had a special bad place for me. It was a pretty elaborate scheme but I honestly believed every part of it. Turns out it was all much more pedestrian. It was just the government of the greatest nation that has ever or will ever exist. And.the special place is called jail.
 
2014-04-02 08:27:05 PM  
In fairness, it was from 2004.
 
2014-04-02 08:27:26 PM  

pyrotek85: Lsherm: Gyrfalcon: macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That

These.

Thisun and Thatun and Theseun.

For one thing, it would smell like a goddamn dead body that fell 16 floors.   Blood smells like iron, and from that impact there was likely a fair amount of shiat as well.

Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.


You did see the Florida tag, right?
 
2014-04-02 08:28:41 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: I can kind of see it. I had once totally convinced myself there was an invisible man (ok man like being) spying on me all the time from the clouds. He had a totally arbitrary list of things I should not do, either for my own safety or because he just said no without explanation. If I did them or even talked to much about doing them he had a special bad place for me. It was a pretty elaborate scheme but I honestly believed every part of it. Turns out it was all much more pedestrian. It was just the government of the greatest nation that has ever or will ever exist. And.the special place is called jail.


I like this.
 
2014-04-02 08:29:54 PM  

pyrotek85: Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.


Unmistakeable?  Really?  Because lots of things have a very unique smell but which, if you are not actually familiar with that smell, aren't really terribly unmistakeable.  So we're to fault the guy for not having experience with the smell of large quantities of blood?
 
2014-04-02 08:30:12 PM  

Altoid: pyrotek85: Lsherm: Gyrfalcon: macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That

These.

Thisun and Thatun and Theseun.

For one thing, it would smell like a goddamn dead body that fell 16 floors.   Blood smells like iron, and from that impact there was likely a fair amount of shiat as well.

Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

You did see the Florida tag, right?


touché
 
2014-04-02 08:30:14 PM  

Altoid: pyrotek85: Lsherm: Gyrfalcon: macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That

These.

Thisun and Thatun and Theseun.

For one thing, it would smell like a goddamn dead body that fell 16 floors.   Blood smells like iron, and from that impact there was likely a fair amount of shiat as well.

Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

You did see the Florida tag, right?


Smells like iron? Maybe period blood. Whatever it smells like, it tastes all coppery.
 
2014-04-02 08:34:04 PM  

IamAwake: pyrotek85: Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

Unmistakeable?  Really?  Because lots of things have a very unique smell but which, if you are not actually familiar with that smell, aren't really terribly unmistakeable.  So we're to fault the guy for not having experience with the smell of large quantities of blood?


I'm saying blood in any quantity has a distinct scent, and I'd think everyone has bled at least some amount, some time in their lives. A large pool of fresh blood is going to be very noticeable, especially if he walks right up to the corpse and inspects it. And when else can you smell iron like that exactly?
 
2014-04-02 08:35:04 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Altoid: pyrotek85: Lsherm: Gyrfalcon: macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That

These.

Thisun and Thatun and Theseun.

For one thing, it would smell like a goddamn dead body that fell 16 floors.   Blood smells like iron, and from that impact there was likely a fair amount of shiat as well.

Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

You did see the Florida tag, right?

Smells like iron? Maybe period blood. Whatever it smells like, it tastes all coppery.


There's an irony joke here somewhere but I just can't get a grasp on it.
 
2014-04-02 08:35:05 PM  
Maybe it wasn't that they thought the prank was it being a fake body, but someone was pretending to be dead, so they threw them in the dumpster to teach them a lesson.
 
2014-04-02 08:35:18 PM  
Maybe her diaper helped keep the fluids contained?
 
2014-04-02 08:35:28 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Smells like iron? Maybe period blood. Whatever it smells like, it tastes all coppery.


If you are going down on a Vulcan, maybe.
 
2014-04-02 08:35:37 PM  
If you ever fall off a building just go limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
 
2014-04-02 08:38:00 PM  

albuquerquehalsey: ever pick up an old dead person? Feels like a bag of sticks wrapped in baloney and novelty condoms.


Finally, somebody explains it in terms we can all relate to!
 
2014-04-02 08:38:19 PM  

pyrotek85: IamAwake: pyrotek85: Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

 And when else can you smell iron like that exactly?


www.egeve.com
 
2014-04-02 08:39:47 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Smells like iron? Maybe period blood. Whatever it smells like, it tastes all coppery.


http://www.ask.com/question/why-does-blood-smell-like-metal

Maybe you're a vampire.
 
2014-04-02 08:39:56 PM  

pyrotek85: IamAwake: pyrotek85: Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

Unmistakeable?  Really?  Because lots of things have a very unique smell but which, if you are not actually familiar with that smell, aren't really terribly unmistakeable.  So we're to fault the guy for not having experience with the smell of large quantities of blood?

I'm saying blood in any quantity has a distinct scent, and I'd think everyone has bled at least some amount, some time in their lives. A large pool of fresh blood is going to be very noticeable, especially if he walks right up to the corpse and inspects it. And when else can you smell iron like that exactly?


I dunno. I have no idea what blood smells like.

There's also going to be some mental bias involved. If you see a puddle of what you know to be blood, your brain is going to accentuate the smell because it knows that it's blood. The situation is probably pretty dire and your emotions are probably running high so you really can't trust your brain to be purely objective.

If, on the other hand, you are looking at a puddle of what your brain "knows" is paint, and you're outside possibly with some wind blowing, maybe you aren't going to smell anything at all.

Personally I don't have a problem with them ignoring the smell of blood. I have a problem with them picking up 130 lbs (or whatever) of dead human flesh and somehow still believing it's fake. I guess the brain plays tricks on people.
 
2014-04-02 08:43:49 PM  
It says a lot about how out of control the April Fools jokes are.  When that is a person's first thought, we have gone way too far as a society.
 
2014-04-02 08:47:49 PM  

Benjimin_Dover: Just another Heartland Weirdass: Smells like iron? Maybe period blood. Whatever it smells like, it tastes all coppery.

If you are going down on a Vulcan, maybe.


Well, I can tell you her blowjobs lack enthusiasm.

Period blood smells irony but tastes awful. Not coppery. Kind of like organ meat with a heavy mushroom influence.

Nose blood is cleaner and crisper. and coppery.
 
2014-04-02 08:51:55 PM  
i249.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-02 08:55:03 PM  

IamAwake: pyrotek85: Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

Unmistakeable?  Really?  Because lots of things have a very unique smell but which, if you are not actually familiar with that smell, aren't really terribly unmistakeable.  So we're to fault the guy for not having experience with the smell of large quantities of blood?


That. At the summer camp I was working, one kid swung an iron rake at another, causing a head wound on the rake-ee's forehead. The counselor in charge ran the kid in in his arms, kicking the door open. It being a head wound, blood was practically gushing out of the kid's head until we got it under control. It was the first time I really smelled the iron stench of blood.
 
2014-04-02 09:02:09 PM  

buckler: IamAwake: pyrotek85: Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

Unmistakeable?  Really?  Because lots of things have a very unique smell but which, if you are not actually familiar with that smell, aren't really terribly unmistakeable.  So we're to fault the guy for not having experience with the smell of large quantities of blood?

That. At the summer camp I was working, one kid swung an iron rake at another, causing a head wound on the rake-ee's forehead. The counselor in charge ran the kid in in his arms, kicking the door open. It being a head wound, blood was practically gushing out of the kid's head until we got it under control. It was the first time I really smelled the iron stench of blood.


Mine was when she didn't tell me aunt flow was around.
 
2014-04-02 09:10:20 PM  
Whenever Abe Vigoda finally decides to pine for the Fjords I hope it is on April 1st just so no one will believe it.
 
2014-04-02 09:13:05 PM  

Oldiron_79: Whenever Abe Vigoda finally decides to pine for the Fjords I hope it is on April 1st just so no one will believe it.


Regardless of when it is, I predict a massive online and IRL party to honor the man.
 
2014-04-02 09:14:56 PM  
Maybe the whole story is nothing more than an April Fools day prank!
 
2014-04-02 09:32:39 PM  
I hope they charge this idiot with something, disturbing a crime scene, something.

I know it's a Florida story, but damn, nobody should be that ignorant of the fact they were picking up a dead human body.
 
2014-04-02 09:47:36 PM  

Jument: I dunno. I have no idea what blood smells like.


You've never had a nosebleed?  It smells like that.

If you need to do an experiment, just cut your hand and take a deep sniff.  I cannot believe you've never been around blood.
 
2014-04-02 09:54:29 PM  
Well now I know what to do if I ever need to get rid of a body.  Thanks Fark!
 
2014-04-02 09:54:49 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: I can kind of see it. I had once totally convinced myself there was an invisible man (ok man like being) spying on me all the time from the clouds. He had a totally arbitrary list of things I should not do, either for my own safety or because he just said no without explanation. If I did them or even talked to much about doing them he had a special bad place for me. It was a pretty elaborate scheme but I honestly believed every part of it. Turns out it was all much more pedestrian. It was just the government of the greatest nation that has ever or will ever exist. And.the special place is called jail.


Well done sir!

In the over 25 years I've been doing what I do, I've handled close to a hundred corpses. I don't think I'd ever mistake a corpse for a non-course, and am blown away that someone apparently did.
 
2014-04-02 09:55:44 PM  
grrr, should read "non-corpse". I can't even blame auto-correct this time either!
 
2014-04-02 09:56:46 PM  

Lsherm: Gyrfalcon: macross87: eyemarten: fusillade762: Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.

How can you PICK UP a dead body and not realize...

What is this I don't even

THIS

That

These.

Thisun and Thatun and Theseun.

For one thing, it would smell like a goddamn dead body that fell 16 floors.  Blood smells like iron, and from that impact there was likely a fair amount of shiat as well.


Fun fact: blood doesn't smell like iron, blood smells like blood. Iron does not smell. The smell people associate with iron is various body fluids (sweat, oil, etc) reacting with the metal on contact and producing a smell nearly identical to blood. There's an evolutionary benefit to being able to smell blood, not metal.

[themoreyouknow.jpg]
 
2014-04-02 10:09:57 PM  

IamAwake: pyrotek85: Came to say this. Blood in any decent quantity is going to have a very unmistakable smell, a pool of it is going to reek of it.

Unmistakeable?  Really?  Because lots of things have a very unique smell but which, if you are not actually familiar with that smell, aren't really terribly unmistakeable.  So we're to fault the guy for not having experience with the smell of large quantities of blood?


Um, yea. There's no excuse for being that far behind on Dexter episodes.
 
2014-04-02 10:12:45 PM  

Rezurok: Fun fact: blood doesn't smell like iron, blood smells like blood. Iron does not smell. The smell people associate with iron is various body fluids (sweat, oil, etc) reacting with the metal on contact and producing a smell nearly identical to blood. There's an evolutionary benefit to being able to smell blood, not metal.


Well, that same reaction is present within iron in the blood, so same difference.  I know we're not bleeding iron, but there's good reason the smell is close to the same.
 
2014-04-02 10:20:41 PM  
Then, Benjamin, Beavers and a third employee decided if it were a prank it needed to be removed from the parking lot, Puetz said. They decided the blood they saw underneath the body was red paint.


Benjamin enlisted the help of someone passing by, and he and Benjamin dumped the woman's body into a trash bin.



x2.fjcdn.com
 
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