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(Newser)   Woman thinks she has a stomach ache, actually has a baby   (newser.com) divider line 59
    More: Dumbass, stomach aches, Connecticut Post, WLS  
•       •       •

3623 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2014 at 4:16 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-02 03:41:12 PM
First-person CSB:  that awkward moment when x-rays for your back pain show a baby skeleton in your lower pelvis.

/she delivered that night
 
2014-04-02 04:18:35 PM
She sounds fat.
 
2014-04-02 04:19:46 PM

Epic Fap Session: She sounds fat.


She's not fat, she's just extra boned.

/In more ways than one
 
2014-04-02 04:20:24 PM

Epic Fap Session: She sounds fat.


Ha! Beat me to it.

Banned on the Run: First-person CSB:  that awkward moment when x-rays for your back pain show a baby skeleton in your lower pelvis.


The target of your CSB also sounds fat?
 
2014-04-02 04:21:49 PM
weknowmemes.com


What is this I don't even...
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2014-04-02 04:22:14 PM
To be fair, that's quite an ache.
 
2014-04-02 04:22:35 PM
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-04-02 04:23:06 PM
s.mcstatic.com

"Cause I'm a Roman Catholic... and I was since before I was born..."
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2014-04-02 04:23:31 PM
www.comic-mint.com
This lady swallowed a baby!
 
2014-04-02 04:24:18 PM
The arrival of baby General Lee Jacob Cox was a surprise to parents Mandy Batchelor and Josh Cox of Greencastle.

Eat my dust, cooter!

Darn you Duke boys! coo coo coo
 
2014-04-02 04:24:59 PM
How big is she that she didn't notice that she was preggy?
 
2014-04-02 04:27:22 PM
...baby General Lee Jacob Cox...

www.brotherryan.com
 
2014-04-02 04:28:13 PM
I never understand these stories. I figure they must be giants or something.
 
2014-04-02 04:29:43 PM
How is stomacc acce formed?
 
2014-04-02 04:30:33 PM
You see the lady swallows an apple pip and this becomes a baby unless it is a watermelon seed in which case it grows into a giant water melon vine and as soon as God hears about this he scrambles a team of commando angels to give the baby a soul and a little picket sign that says "Abortion is Murder" but sometimes mistakes happen and the watermelon gets the soul or the baby gets a sign that reads "Fur is Murder" and in those cases it grows up to be a freak and may even run for Congress.

And if you can convince one child of this, then you have had a good day. Well done faithful servant.
 
2014-04-02 04:30:38 PM
img.fark.net
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.
 
2014-04-02 04:30:52 PM
img.fark.net
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-04-02 04:30:55 PM

MBooda: How is stomacc acce formed?


We need to do way instain mothar who poop out babbies and don no pragnant.
 
2014-04-02 04:31:07 PM
Of course, it is possible to both have a stomach ache *and* to have a baby.

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-02 04:31:42 PM
Well at least it wasn't an alien chest burster.
 
2014-04-02 04:32:02 PM
I would have asked for the ambulance to drive us to the fire station to "drop something off"
 
2014-04-02 04:38:06 PM

MechaPyx: Well at least it wasn't an alien chest burster.


Nah, those things are like cats.
 
2014-04-02 04:38:18 PM

wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.


That is a fatty.  In fact, the whole family is fat.

/fat
 
2014-04-02 04:39:04 PM

img.fark.net

 
2014-04-02 04:40:27 PM

wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.


my caption for this pic would have been "Did you say gravy?!?!?"
 
2014-04-02 04:45:39 PM
Her first baby came out sideways.  She didn't scream or nuthin'.
 
2014-04-02 04:47:58 PM
How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?
 
2014-04-02 04:49:29 PM

fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?


Too busy smoking and drinking?
 
2014-04-02 04:51:13 PM

FunkOut: I never understand these stories. I figure they must be giants or something.


I'm your belly friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little gurgling friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am...
 
2014-04-02 04:52:07 PM

fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?


Consider what happens when you drop a small marble into a cup of water.  There's a noticeable displacement of water.

Take that same marble and drop it into a drum of oil.
 
2014-04-02 04:53:40 PM

Dr Jack Badofsky: Her first baby came out sideways.  She didn't scream or nuthin'.


Those aren't pillows!
 
2014-04-02 04:54:35 PM

Altoid: fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?

Consider what happens when you drop a small marble into a cup of water.  There's a noticeable displacement of water.

Take that same marble and drop it into a drum of oil.


It makes a nifty "ploop" sound. Wouldn't she have heard that?
 
2014-04-02 04:56:00 PM

Jument: Altoid: fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?

Consider what happens when you drop a small marble into a cup of water.  There's a noticeable displacement of water.

Take that same marble and drop it into a drum of oil.

It makes a nifty "ploop" sound. Wouldn't she have heard that?


That was clearly her undoing, wasn't it.
 
2014-04-02 04:57:29 PM

bikerbob59: wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.

That is a fatty.  In fact, the whole family is fat.

/fat


Seriously. How can a parent let a child get that fat? I know there are fatter kids but that's no defense. That should be considered child abuse.
 
2014-04-02 04:58:51 PM

fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?


Who does the noticing?

img2-2.timeinc.net
 
2014-04-02 05:00:49 PM

Altoid: fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?

Consider what happens when you drop a small marble into a cup of water.  There's a noticeable displacement of water.

Take that same marble and drop it into a drum of oil.


and this was a 9 pound kid. That's noticeable. I call BS.
 
2014-04-02 05:05:11 PM

wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.


Her second kid, eh?  That makes a difference.  Labor with a second (or third or fourth or ...) child is much easier and faster than with a first child.

That said, NOTHING during my pregnancy was pregnancy-specific; everything I felt could easily have been misinterpreted as something else.  Kid moving around?  Could have been gas.  Heartburn? Perhaps the Indian food from last night.  In addition, I'm tall (read: I have a longer-than-average torso) so the kid had plenty of room to squirm around; I was never once kicked in the ribs, for example, and I never got gargantuan like many women.

In fact, I didn't even know I was pregnant until the beginning of my second trimester (the complete lack of morning sickness contributed to that) and that was only because I ended up in the ER with a nasty sinus infection and the ER staff insisted on a pregnancy test.

Labor was also a piece of cake.  I've had migraines that hurt more than childbirth.

Some women just have easy pregnancies.  I guess I'm one of them.

/not fat
// 5'9" tall
/// 121 lbs
 
2014-04-02 05:10:00 PM

SassyMcSassalot: Altoid: fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?

Consider what happens when you drop a small marble into a cup of water.  There's a noticeable displacement of water.

Take that same marble and drop it into a drum of oil.

and this was a 9 pound kid. That's noticeable. I call BS.


A Google search for "woman didn't know she was pregnant" yields a good haul of examples.   Disturbingly plentiful.   I didn't read enough of them to see how far along they were before they figured it out.  That said, several headlines inferred that the pregnancy was discovered very shortly before delivery.

I can't, and won't, speak to the authenticity of the phenomenon, but putting discomfort or other strange physical feelings aside, it does stand to reason that the heavier you are in the first place, the less noticeable a gradual appearance of 9 additional pounds would become.
 
2014-04-02 05:16:52 PM

bikerbob59: wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.

That is a fatty.  In fact, the whole family is fat.

/fat


That's not fat.

pl.vichan.net

That is fat
 
2014-04-02 05:20:41 PM

Smeggy Smurf: bikerbob59: wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.

That is a fatty.  In fact, the whole family is fat.

/fat

That's not fat.

[pl.vichan.net image 610x915]

That is fat


She approves of that post.
I don't.
 
2014-04-02 05:22:32 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Smeggy Smurf: bikerbob59: wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.

That is a fatty.  In fact, the whole family is fat.

/fat

That's not fat.

[pl.vichan.net image 610x915]

That is fat

She approves of that post.
I don't.


Nor does the post.
 
2014-04-02 05:24:12 PM

Smeggy Smurf: bikerbob59: wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.

That is a fatty.  In fact, the whole family is fat.

/fat

That's not fat.

[pl.vichan.net image 610x915]

That is fat


The sad thing is that it appears she would resemble Lucy Pinder if she lost 150 lbs

www.aceshowbiz.com


NSFW
 
2014-04-02 05:25:36 PM
As someone who was able to see bumps on my wife's distended belly move around under her skin from across a table at a restaurant, I have no earthly idea how a woman could not know she was pregnant once she reaches the third trimester.
 
2014-04-02 05:26:47 PM

Smeggy Smurf: bikerbob59: wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.

That is a fatty.  In fact, the whole family is fat.

/fat

That's not fat.

[pl.vichan.net image 610x915]

That is fat


i849.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-02 05:26:53 PM

EnderX: [img.fark.net image 259x194]



Yes she was a big girl, sir.


/First genuine laugh of the day- thanks! :)
//window seat, please
 
2014-04-02 05:37:41 PM

fickenchucker: How can someone be that oblivious or stupid?

Seriously--HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF YOU??!1!!?


Speaking as someone who schedules OB/GYN appointments, this happens ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

It no longer surprises me.
 
2014-04-02 06:12:13 PM
FizixJunkee:
Labor was also a piece of cake.  I've had migraines that hurt more than childbirth.

Some women just have easy pregnancies.  I guess I'm one of them.


I was on the opposite end of the spectrum. The second was worse than the first. Morning sickness was more like 24 hours of food poisoning for months. It felt like an angry alien was trying to fight it's way out of my body. I asked people to kill me during labour. And I wound up with a migraine a three weeks before I was due which landed me 5 days in the hospital.

Never again.
 
2014-04-02 06:16:08 PM

FizixJunkee: wrussell1982: [img.fark.net image 628x434]
I thought she would be a fatty, unless the lady is bald with a beard.

Her second kid, eh?  That makes a difference.  Labor with a second (or third or fourth or ...) child is much easier and faster than with a first child.

That said, NOTHING during my pregnancy was pregnancy-specific; everything I felt could easily have been misinterpreted as something else.  Kid moving around?  Could have been gas.  Heartburn? Perhaps the Indian food from last night.  In addition, I'm tall (read: I have a longer-than-average torso) so the kid had plenty of room to squirm around; I was never once kicked in the ribs, for example, and I never got gargantuan like many women.

In fact, I didn't even know I was pregnant until the beginning of my second trimester (the complete lack of morning sickness contributed to that) and that was only because I ended up in the ER with a nasty sinus infection and the ER staff insisted on a pregnancy test.

Labor was also a piece of cake.  I've had migraines that hurt more than childbirth.

Some women just have easy pregnancies.  I guess I'm one of them.

/not fat
// 5'9" tall
/// 121 lbs


"Get the keys!  We'll drive the Jeep out!".   ;-)
 
2014-04-02 06:31:45 PM
So it went from a pain in the stomach to a pain in the ass.
 
2014-04-02 07:06:27 PM
More STD than stomach ache.
 
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