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(ABC News)   Ted Cruz has a book deal. The jury's out on scratch-n-sniff vs. pop-up   (abcnews.go.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Sen. Ted Cruz  
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297 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Apr 2014 at 4:32 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-04-02 02:42:40 PM  
Hopefully it's as riveting and motivational as his last book!

thinkprogress.org

www.coloringbook.com
 
2014-04-02 02:45:40 PM  
www.bitlogic.com
 
2014-04-02 02:48:15 PM  
So long as it's not scratch and sniffing his popup.
 
2014-04-02 02:48:19 PM  
Where's Wingnut?
 
2014-04-02 02:56:52 PM  
Alex Pareene did a piece on the conservative book industry just a few days ago.
 
2014-04-02 03:04:38 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Hopefully it's as riveting and motivational as his last book!

[thinkprogress.org image 624x792]

[www.coloringbook.com image 612x792]


I didn't know how well I'd enjoy this book, seeing as how I only have white crayons. But, as it turns out, that's the only color required! Magnificent!

moar
 
2014-04-02 03:06:43 PM  
Here's a sample
i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-02 03:08:24 PM  
i.huffpost.com


Oh jesus farking christ...
 
2014-04-02 03:09:06 PM  
The ten habits of highly disingenuous people.

How to succeed at being hated (without really trying)

The asshole's guide to success in business and politics.

Abogado, Eh?: A Cuban Canadian lawyer's unlikely rise to power in Texas.
 
2014-04-02 03:12:00 PM  

hillbillypharmacist: Here's a sample
[i291.photobucket.com image 598x396]


.....

....I like you...I have no idea why though

....what the fark did I just read and how the hell did I understand what that said?
 
2014-04-02 03:15:22 PM  
Does that mean he's going to work at the Library when his political career tanks?
 
2014-04-02 03:39:59 PM  
Why I Hatez Libruls Good title.  Always sells.
 
2014-04-02 03:43:13 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Hopefully it's as riveting and motivational as his last book!

[thinkprogress.org image 624x792]

[www.coloringbook.com image 612x792]


WTF is "diversity" and "inclusion" doing on those leafs?
 
2014-04-02 03:45:03 PM  
FTFA:Urbahn declined to confirm a report in the Washington Examiner that the deal was worth $1.5 million. But he says the number is "close."

As much as I hate Raphael I would have thought there were enough derpers out there for him to get more than that on a book deal.
 
2014-04-02 03:50:26 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-02 03:53:34 PM  

cretinbob: [i.huffpost.com image 641x829]


Oh jesus farking christ...


Is that real?

That can't be real.
 
2014-04-02 03:58:17 PM  
Sen. Ted Cruz gets a coloring book... another summarizes the Senator's "21-hour Epic Speech"

Wow.

The propaganda of that text alone is pretty hilarious.

The fact they have that much text about a speech on health insurance, in a coloring book, is hilarious on a whole other level.
 
2014-04-02 04:33:37 PM  

impaler: cretinbob: [i.huffpost.com image 641x829]


Oh jesus farking christ...

Is that real?

That can't be real.


it's realllllllllllll.......
 
2014-04-02 04:35:30 PM  
Coloring, Big of Dogs, or Little Red Cook?
 
2014-04-02 04:35:49 PM  

hillbillypharmacist: Here's a sample
[i291.photobucket.com image 598x396]


That's beautiful.
 
2014-04-02 04:37:38 PM  
www.bookmice.net
I read it
It was predictable
 
2014-04-02 04:38:05 PM  

impaler: cretinbob: [i.huffpost.com image 641x829]


Oh jesus farking christ...

Is that real?

That can't be real.


they're real, and they're spectacular!
 
2014-04-02 04:39:50 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 04:40:26 PM  
Choose your own derpventure!

Turn to page 44 if you're a potato.
 
2014-04-02 04:40:37 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: Alex Pareene did a piece on the conservative book industry just a few days ago.


Well if they're not selling, they can always use some of Sheldon Adelson's donated money to buy them and pawn them off as late campaign party favors to staffers.

/At full cover price of course.
 
2014-04-02 04:41:40 PM  
Is this book by Raphael "Ted" Cruz going to be in Spanish, English or French Canadian?
 
2014-04-02 04:46:08 PM  

Jackson Herring: [i.imgur.com image 350x525]


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-02 04:46:38 PM  
Is it "My Pet Goat 2?"
 
2014-04-02 04:48:16 PM  
Christ, I can only imagine the freakin' morons that support this disingenuous twat...
 
2014-04-02 04:48:20 PM  

hillbillypharmacist: Here's a sample
[i291.photobucket.com image 598x396]


Needs more Jewish smirking.
 
2014-04-02 04:51:08 PM  
Just think.  If Ted Cruz didn't win a United States senate seat, he would be right now giving Joel Osteen a run for his money.
 
2014-04-02 04:53:50 PM  
"Raphael and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Blah Man"
 
2014-04-02 04:54:24 PM  
GOP on Top

It's a fanciful tale.
 
2014-04-02 04:54:27 PM  
I hear mooing. Must be time to milk the rubes.
 
2014-04-02 04:54:53 PM  
Cruz to the Future is a great read, if you haven't pick a copy up yet, i strongly suggest that you do, i mean, it's no Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims BUT it does provide an insightful look into the superior legislative qualities and practices of the Conservatives in office while demonstrating the shortcomings of the suppressive anti-Constitutional Liberals currently ruining our country.  I will admit that the format leaves much to be desired (for adults) but it is written in a way that even the most uneducated of Conservatives can grasp its meaning. Ideally, you would read it with your children and help them pick out which colors to use on the images. Oh yeah! the children! It should be your utmost goal to make certain that the Liberal indoctrination machine (public schools) be counterbalanced by the bipartisan ideals and stories you are more likely to find in Conservative literature than that of those who would take from you your every belongings.
 
2014-04-02 04:56:01 PM  
Listen, you might disagree with his potato-based policies and coconut-level economics, but dumbass isn't a word I'd use to describe Rafael. It takes a lot of hard work and effort for a Hispanic Canadian to become the right wing's champion for <strike>white supremacy</strike> immigration reform and fiscal responsibility <strike>because the Taft is the wrong color</strike>.
 
2014-04-02 05:14:42 PM  
"We're having a national debate right now about the direction our country should go, and I am eager to participate in that debate through any medium possible. And a book can serve as an effective vehicle for conveying the positive hopeful optimistic vision for America that I believe together can turn this nation around."

So being a member of Congress is, according to Cruz, not an effective medium for participating in the discussion about the direction the country should go? Do I have that right?
 
2014-04-02 05:15:46 PM  
"How a 4'9" runt feeds at the trough of American Politics"
 
2014-04-02 05:20:56 PM  

Kome: "We're having a national debate right now about the direction our country should go, and I am eager to participate in that debate through any medium possible. And a book can serve as an effective vehicle for conveying the positive hopeful optimistic vision for America that I believe together can turn this nation around."

So being a member of Congress is, according to Cruz, not an effective medium for participating in the discussion about the direction the country should go? Do I have that right?


It's an extremely effective medium for reading Dr. Seuss books while simultaneously missing the entire point of the book.
 
2014-04-02 05:27:21 PM  
Looks like Rafael has decided to do a press tour for his book ... err run for president.
 
2014-04-02 05:30:01 PM  
i've said it before and I'll say it again.  I would not be sad if he fell down a flight of stairs.
 
2014-04-02 05:37:42 PM  
I can already guess the content.
"Chapter One:
Jebus, Regan, Fredums, Jebus, Fredums, TAFT!!!, Kenyen Muslim upserper, Soculisms, homofacist marriage, Babby Jebus crying, FREDUMS!". It repeats for 29 more chapters.
 
2014-04-02 05:39:14 PM  

RUBE DOLLA MAKE CRUZ HOLLA!

img.fark.net

img.fark.net

 
2014-04-02 05:45:51 PM  
Reader opens book:

"Hi, My name is Ted Cruz. Thank you for buying this scratch n' sniff book on politics (scratch n' sniff here)

**scratch, scratch, scratch....sniiiiiif***

Wow! He is amazing! It smell just like a book!
 
2014-04-02 05:53:36 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Hopefully it's as riveting and motivational as his last book!

[thinkprogress.org image 624x792]

[www.coloringbook.com image 612x792]


Jesus, did a high schooler illustrate that?
 
2014-04-02 06:05:46 PM  
its Title is Everyone Poops.
 
2014-04-02 06:07:55 PM  

Linux_Yes: its Title is Everyone Poops.



and Glenn Beck will have a book out early next year titled Painting with Poop.
 
2014-04-02 06:08:56 PM  

Linux_Yes: Linux_Yes: its Title is Everyone Poops.


and Glenn Beck will have a book out early next year titled Painting with Poop.



correction: that's George Bush, Jr not glenn beck.  my bad.
 
2014-04-02 06:23:58 PM  
Not only scratch n sniff/pop-up, but laminated pages too, so Mommy can wipe the spitup off.
 
2014-04-02 06:35:20 PM  
I saw a headline about Cruz today.  He's doing the "ur relijus freedums r under ATTAK we got to STAND UP n STOP 0BONGOCARE" thing.  He's really convinced he will be The Man in 2016.  And he's convinced he'll do it by appealling to the most hard-core of the herpaderp crowd.  On the one issue that the party has fought furiously, and entirely failed to undo.  Specifically as this relates to controlling lady parts, when 98% of all American women have used birth control at some point.  And now some within the party are slowly coming around on ACA, kind of like the whole "ur relijus freedums r under ATTAK gay MARRUJ" thing.

Somebody tell me again about how smart he is.
 
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