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(Telegraph)   Engineering students claim to have created a veggie burger that doesn't taste like soggy cardboard reheated over an open fire on a garbage barge. With directions so you can play along at home   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 87
    More: Interesting, veggie burgers, cauliflowers, beets, red bell pepper  
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1781 clicks; posted to Geek » on 02 Apr 2014 at 10:45 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-02 09:07:54 AM
Engineering students invented a portobello mushroom?

This recipe is significantly better than the Bubba Burgers your brother in law burns every Memorial Day on his CharbBroil:  http://www.primalgrill.org/recipe_details.asp?RecipeID=26&EpisodeID=6
 
2014-04-02 09:38:58 AM
That's funny, what I used to do at the Iron Horse was do essentially a potato latke with a bit of shredded carrot and peas and corn as a binder to eliminate egg. Pea pancakes are amazingly sweet and light, and that helps the burger consistency, with shredded carrot and potato to give them firmness and texture. A bit of salt and pepper, and you've got a burger that sears nicely, has firmness to it, and will crisp well if you fry the wee suckers. Yes, you can add a bit sesame to it, if you want. Heck, even chuck some chopped pistachios if you are feeling all gigi, and yeah a bit of onion and scallion for color and flavor.

My worry about her "cauliflower" fix is...well, the gassiness that will result. Well, that and the cauliflower stink that is associated--even blanched. Broccoli rape or even shredded broccoli might be a "better" fix, using shredded green stems, which will also give it better flavor in my opinion, and not to mention a better texture. Pureed peas and corn act as nice binder, and pea pancakes are fantastic alternatives for a side dish, that is entirely vegan, brilliant green, and easy as hells to make at home or on the line. Pureed peas, flour, salt, pepper, and a touch of honey. Pour onto your flattop, or do them in pan, flip, and wait a moment, and then serve. Top with whatever you want--tomatoes, a honey touched sour cream, killed salad, mango chutney, or serve all by their lonesome, or use them as a base for a veggie napoleon.

This is the problem with handing projects like this to engineers, as opposed to chefs. The issue is less about creating a good veggie burger, but rather a mass marketable burger that folks can sell to those who don't have the chops to cook at home, or rather, don't think that they do, and who want to sell folks something that they might be able to do better at home, so they make it sound like it's a "big problem" when, in fact, it's just about taking a few minutes of time to do something right. It takes a moment with a food processor to blend peas and corn to a puree, you can buy shredded potatoes, or do them at home in only a few minutes, you can shred carrots easy enough, and chop scallions, and chances are you've got some flour sitting in your cupboard right now. It's NOT hard to make these sorts of things, but folks work tirelessly to convince you that these are hard things to get right. Because if you think it's hard, then you will pay someone else to do it for you.
 
2014-04-02 09:42:59 AM
Veggie burgers are the worst idea ever.

The hamburger works because of the properties of red meat. If you're abstaining from meat, why would ever try to recreate it? There's so many unique properties vegetables have that meat doesn't share. Make a dish based on those properties and it will be as good or better than a hamburger.
 
2014-04-02 09:47:16 AM

doglover: The hamburger works because of the properties of red meat. If you're abstaining from meat, why would ever try to recreate it? There's so many unique properties vegetables have that meat doesn't share. Make a dish based on those properties and it will be as good or better than a hamburger.


STOP LIKING THINGS I DON'T LIKE!

A hamburger is also a vector for toppings, comes in sandwich form that showcases a good bun, and is just classic social food.  Do you have a problem with chicken sandwiches, salmon burgers, and the like?  It is the worst idea for YOU, because YOU have what you want.  Others for whatever reason may not want a beef patty.

And honestly nothing f*cks with waitstaff's minds like ordering a bean burger with bacon on it.
 
2014-04-02 09:54:45 AM
Up next, the guy who wants you to know that he eats meat.

He's edgy.  He's in-your-face.  He doesn't care whose toes he steps on.  For every vegetable you eat, he's not eating four.  He's all for PETA.... People Eating Tasty Animals (bet you didn't see that one coming).
 
2014-04-02 10:01:19 AM

doglover: Veggie burgers are the worst idea ever.

The hamburger works because of the properties of red meat. If you're abstaining from meat, why would ever try to recreate it? There's so many unique properties vegetables have that meat doesn't share. Make a dish based on those properties and it will be as good or better than a hamburger.


Because sometimes folks LIKE to share the experience of a cookout, and either because of personal reasons, religious, or even religious, they have restrictions on their diet. You are right, in that you don't look to "recreate" a burger, even with TVP--which is why a lot of "veggie burgers" are ass--but you can have an easily transportable and easy to cook sandwich that is hot. The mistake IS looking to recreate the burger portion of the show, as opposed to looking at the issue as a dish that vegetarians can enjoy while others are wolfing down burgers. The item doesn't have to be a "burger" which is why I tend to look at grilled portobellos--marinated with a bit of balsamic, S&P and a bit of olive oil--or a searable potato and pea cake which gives vegetarians a great sandwich, but doesn't have the meat that they don't want, and that they can wave around, while having a beer with friends.

The drive to make as much stuff out of soy is...unfortunate. Because soy IS an amazing product, but the drive to mass market has put the stuff where it has no damn business being. It's an easy, but not always appropriate ingredient. Tempeh is a great product, but is often used poorly, and that leads to tempeh with the texture of greasy, soggy, mush, or worse, is just spiced poorly--or not at all--which leads folks to the idea that it's just icky. You have to tailor preparation to the ingredient, and sadly, a lot of mass marketing, and worse, whole foods emporiums, which market to folks who are trying to live more "consciously" while not really providing them with much guidance to how to use the damn stuff. And that makes the chef in me sad, because the Gods gave us so much amazing stuff to jam into our cakeholes, and yet, so many folks just don't take the time or effort to learn how to make each and every one* of them delicious.

*Well, except for okra. Okra was put on this Earth by 10,000 Screaming Devils who hate us all and everything we will ever be. Okra is the work of the Debbil. Many debbils who despise all that is good in this world.
 
2014-04-02 10:04:48 AM
Ive had veggie burgers that are pretty good.

In fact, both Subway and Burger King make veggie burgers that are quite edible.
 
2014-04-02 10:05:54 AM

hubiestubert: *Well, except for okra. Okra was put on this Earth by 10,000 Screaming Devils who hate us all and everything we will ever be. Okra is the work of the Debbil. Many debbils who despise all that is good in this world.


I like okra. But I like it because I agree with you. When you chop it up just right, it's like eating fish eyes in hagfish slime.
 
2014-04-02 10:07:10 AM
hubiestubert:
*Well, except for okra. Okra was put on this Earth by 10,000 Screaming Devils who hate us all and everything we will ever be. Okra is the work of the Debbil. Many debbils who despise all that is good in this world.

Ha.  I had some crawfish stock taking up too much room in my freezer so I made some gumbo with it on Sunday, but I left out the okra... vile mushy weed.

Is there a way to make it good?  Even when deep fried, it's slimy.
 
2014-04-02 10:10:19 AM

Rapmaster2000: hubiestubert:
*Well, except for okra. Okra was put on this Earth by 10,000 Screaming Devils who hate us all and everything we will ever be. Okra is the work of the Debbil. Many debbils who despise all that is good in this world.

Ha.  I had some crawfish stock taking up too much room in my freezer so I made some gumbo with it on Sunday, but I left out the okra... vile mushy weed.

Is there a way to make it good?  Even when deep fried, it's slimy.


doglover: hubiestubert: *Well, except for okra. Okra was put on this Earth by 10,000 Screaming Devils who hate us all and everything we will ever be. Okra is the work of the Debbil. Many debbils who despise all that is good in this world.

I like okra. But I like it because I agree with you. When you chop it up just right, it's like eating fish eyes in hagfish slime.


It's texture. There isn't any real way to make the stuff palatable to me. I accept that some folks like the stuff, but damned if I can enjoy it. Then again, I'm not a fan of eggplant for the most part--save as a ratatouille or caponatina.
 
2014-04-02 10:12:10 AM
howicook.com

I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.
 
2014-04-02 10:14:54 AM

hubiestubert: *Well, except for okra. Okra was put on this Earth by 10,000 Screaming Devils who hate us all and everything we will ever be. Okra is the work of the Debbil. Many debbils who despise all that is good in this world.


My wife is 100% onboard with this assessment; it is no doubt a texture thing because that is her common beef with the things she doesn't like.  I personally dig it in gumbo and a pickled okra in a martini or bloody Mary is okay by me.
 
2014-04-02 10:16:22 AM

hubiestubert: This is the problem with handing projects like this to engineers, as opposed to chefs.


How about culinary engineers?
 
2014-04-02 10:19:46 AM

doglover: [howicook.com image 850x637]

I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.


www.gothamgal.com
Nothing is worse than these little red octopi eaten raw.  They're like rubber bands covered in snot.
 
2014-04-02 10:28:59 AM

Theaetetus: hubiestubert: This is the problem with handing projects like this to engineers, as opposed to chefs.

How about culinary engineers?


Culinary engineers are part of the issue. I'm not talking about folks who use pop science to help home cooks, but the actual engineers who work tirelessly to create mass marketable foodstuffs--and sometimes that works out great. Sometimes, it's a product that should just never be. Culinary engineers likewise created MREs. There are foodstuffs that have purpose--like MREs that they try to make nutritious, preservable for long periods, over rough conditions, and at least attempt to make palatable--but likewise, they are responsible for some abominations that are just wrong, and attempting to find uses for things that, well, in all honesty, are better left for pig feed. They often inject a level of complexity that are unnecessary, save to preserve someone else's bottom line, and try to market it to folks who think that they're getting a great deal on what would otherwise be waste and offal...
 
2014-04-02 10:32:17 AM
For the record, this thread is making me really, really hungry.  I guess I should have eaten more than two carrots for breakfast but my doc said I need to lose weight, and I agree.
 
2014-04-02 10:38:35 AM
Vegetarian "hamburger" options are a hell of a lot better than when I was a kid, the only thing I remember being commercially available was a chewy soybean hockey puck of a thing.  Gah.
 
2014-04-02 10:49:48 AM

Rapmaster2000: Up next, the guy who wants you to know that he eats meat.

He's edgy.  He's in-your-face.  He doesn't care whose toes he steps on.  For every vegetable you eat, he's not eating four.  He's all for PETA.... People Eating Tasty Animals (bet you didn't see that one coming).


I hate that guy. He's as insufferable as a vegetarian.
 
2014-04-02 10:54:49 AM
"Perhaps you'll even convert some carnivores."

captjc.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-02 10:59:42 AM
The first step to good vegetarian food is to completely stop trying to simulate meat. Just don't. Don't ever. A good veggie burger will taste nothing like a good hamburger, and that's OK.
 
2014-04-02 11:00:11 AM
Cool.

Are veggie "pork chops" and "slabs of ribs" next?

I've just never understood this.  I don't try to make my pork roast look like tofu.
 
2014-04-02 11:05:04 AM
I hate any kind of veggie burger that tries to imitate meat. I don't mind the kinds that you can tell what they are made out of.
 
2014-04-02 11:05:41 AM

baconbeard: Rapmaster2000: Up next, the guy who wants you to know that he eats meat.

He's edgy.  He's in-your-face.  He doesn't care whose toes he steps on.  For every vegetable you eat, he's not eating four.  He's all for PETA.... People Eating Tasty Animals (bet you didn't see that one coming).

I hate that guy. He's as insufferable as a vegetarian.


He doesn't care.  That just means more meat for him!
 
2014-04-02 11:05:49 AM
I'll snag a morning star burger once in a while... I like to plan for those times...

When i'm too lazy to cook or go harass a burger fool for lunch. lunch breaks are too short to argue with the next Dane Cook if you want an apple pie.

/and no damnit, I don't want your special sauce
 
2014-04-02 11:08:17 AM
On a related note, I recently bought a meat grinder attachment for my wife's Kitchenaid. Best investment I ever made. There's nothing like a freshly ground hamburger (50% chuck, 50% sirloin) grilled to perfection and served on fresh, homemade buns.
 
2014-04-02 11:08:33 AM
Is it gluten free?
 
2014-04-02 11:09:10 AM

Rapmaster2000: doglover: [howicook.com image 850x637]

I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.

[www.gothamgal.com image 500x375]
Nothing is worse than these little red octopi eaten raw.  They're like rubber bands covered in snot.


Those things are good. And they're only red because they're boiled.
 
2014-04-02 11:09:27 AM

thurstonxhowell: The first step to good vegetarian food is to completely stop trying to simulate meat. Just don't. Don't ever. A good veggie burger will taste nothing like a good hamburger, and that's OK.


I concur.  I don't think it can be done without a lot of food science thrown in, which sort of negates many of the reasons one would even choose a vegetarian option.  TFA went into this line of thinking and I liked that.

big pig peaches: I hate any kind of veggie burger that tries to imitate meat. I don't mind the kinds that you can tell what they are made out of.


This is also a good take.  "Oh noes, chunks of veggies in my veggie burger?  Why would I want that?" said no knowing purchaser of a veggie burger ever.
 
2014-04-02 11:13:31 AM

Rapmaster2000: doglover: [howicook.com image 850x637]

I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.

[www.gothamgal.com image 500x375]
Nothing is worse than these little red octopi eaten raw.  They're like rubber bands covered in snot.


And actually, the sign says "Octopus-Egg"

So inside of each octopus is a hardboiled egg. Double plus good.
 
2014-04-02 11:13:52 AM
Veggie burgers are delicious deep fried. When I was a short order cook, that's how we would cook them, because they take forever to grill from frozen. Of course, I had lard in my fryers, so everything was delicious fried.
 
2014-04-02 11:14:55 AM

doglover: Rapmaster2000: doglover: [howicook.com image 850x637]

I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.

[www.gothamgal.com image 500x375]
Nothing is worse than these little red octopi eaten raw.  They're like rubber bands covered in snot.

Those things are good. And they're only red because they're boiled.


Huh.  I picked these up at the sushi counter in the food court at a Super H-Mart.  They were next to the seaweed salad so I just assumed they were raw.  Thanks for the info.

Am I supposed to heat them up?  I ate them cold.
 
2014-04-02 11:16:09 AM

doglover: I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.


That actually looks quite tasty. Trade you for my natto?
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 11:16:57 AM

AngryDragon: Cool.

Are veggie "pork chops" and "slabs of ribs" next?

I've just never understood this.  I don't try to make my pork roast look like tofu.


i970.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-02 11:17:00 AM
"With directions so you can play along at home"

The students are reluctant to share their recipe for the winning burger,
 
2014-04-02 11:18:54 AM
For those of you living in Canada, Harvey's makes a great veggie burger. I'm not even close to being a vegetarian, but I'll occasionally order it just because it tastes so good. I usually have them with bacon, which gets a few strange looks.
 
2014-04-02 11:22:27 AM
I've had some really good veggie burgers and some plain old sh*t ones. I've also had some plain old sh*t burgers. Never had a veggie burger better than the real deal, BUT I've found the satisfaction comes after you eat the burger, not before.

I'm a big fan of using chickpeas and black beans and spicing it up with various herbs and spices, but I don't make them enough. If I'm in a vegetarian mood I'll usually just make salad greens. To be perfectly honest the healthiest veggies are the greens anyway, and it's fairly hard to get them in a burger like that. Rather just make a good salad.

My current diet is red meat once a week so I'll reserve a dinner on the weekends for steak or a burger. As for steak, portabello mushrooms when properly marinated and grilled really do have a steaky texture and flavor. (But no, they aren't the same thing as a good steak.)
 
2014-04-02 11:25:02 AM

drewogatory: Veggie burgers are delicious deep fried. When I was a short order cook, that's how we would cook them, because they take forever to grill from frozen. Of course, I had lard in my fryers, so everything was delicious fried.


I gotta be honest, that's a really terrible thing to do to your customers, especially for people who are trying to avoid animal fats, which is exactly what lard is. Some of them even have religious reasons for doing so.
 
2014-04-02 11:27:22 AM
Falafels would like a word.
 
2014-04-02 11:27:42 AM

Rapmaster2000: Am I supposed to heat them up?


I dunno. I assume cold is fine.

Raw octopus looks like translucent purple rubber.

farm1.staticflickr.com

Cooked octopus is red and white and more tender than squid.

staging.italianfoodforever.com

And pickled octopus is all red.

image.rakuten.co.jp


Ivo Shandor: doglover: I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.

That actually looks quite tasty. Trade you for my natto?
[i.imgur.com image 320x370]


images.dannychoo.com

You can keep yer veggie burgers. It's bath time.
 
2014-04-02 11:29:16 AM

AngryDragon: Cool.

Are veggie "pork chops" and "slabs of ribs" next?

I've just never understood this.  I don't try to make my pork roast look like tofu.


Well, tofu farking tastes like shiat, so ...
 
2014-04-02 11:29:32 AM

doglover: Rapmaster2000: Am I supposed to heat them up?

I dunno. I assume cold is fine.

Raw octopus looks like translucent purple rubber.

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 850x637]

Cooked octopus is red and white and more tender than squid.

[staging.italianfoodforever.com image 500x341]

And pickled octopus is all red.

[image.rakuten.co.jp image 800x571]


Ivo Shandor: doglover: I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.

That actually looks quite tasty. Trade you for my natto?
[i.imgur.com image 320x370]

[images.dannychoo.com image 600x399]

You can keep yer veggie burgers. It's bath time.


That is honestly the weirdest tentacle porn I've ever seen.

/I'll be in my bunk
 
2014-04-02 11:30:16 AM

hubiestubert: ...  Broccoli rape or even shredded broccoli might be a "better" fix, using shredded green stems, which will also give it better flavor in my opinion, and not to mention a better texture...


Can I get that in 40 lb boxes?
 
2014-04-02 11:35:04 AM
I just put some bacon and cheese on my veggie burger to make it taste better.
 
2014-04-02 11:38:17 AM

Rapmaster2000: doglover: [howicook.com image 850x637]

I'm in your base, grossin' out your dudes.

[www.gothamgal.com image 500x375]
Nothing is worse than these little red octopi eaten raw.  They're like rubber bands covered in snot.


True, but nothing beats uni.  It has a texture similar,I would imagine, to fish slime mixed with sand.

buelahman.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-02 11:39:14 AM

drewogatory: Veggie burgers are delicious deep fried. When I was a short order cook, that's how we would cook them, because they take forever to grill from frozen. Of course, I had lard in my fryers, so everything was delicious fried.


I think you're technically doing it wrong.  Although, I would probably be entertained by the number of vegans lauding your place as the "best veggie burgers ever!"
 
2014-04-02 11:40:02 AM

Best Princess Celestia: "Perhaps you'll even convert some carnivores."


The problem is people are dead convinced humans need meat at every meal.

There are evolutionary food people who say we do, but honestly, you can do just fine munching on some plant stuff. I've accidentally gone vegetarian a few times when I just didn't feel like grabbing anything complicated, and/or what I did get was tofu or vegetarian anyway.
 
2014-04-02 11:46:54 AM

hubiestubert: Broccoli rape


hubiestubert: someone else's bottom


baconbeard: homemade buns


hubiestubert: jam into our cakeholes


bdub77: That is honestly the weirdest tentacle porn I've ever seen.


clarksvegas: I don't want your special sauce


Fark is not your personal food erotica website. You think I don't see what you're doing there, but I do.


/Not judging.
//just hungry.. and slightly concerned.
 
2014-04-02 11:49:10 AM

Kristoph57: Fark is not your personal food erotica website. You think I don't see what you're doing there, but I do.


/Not judging.
//just hungry.. and slightly concerned.


www.postcity.com
"You're killing independent George!"
 
2014-04-02 11:51:03 AM

SDRR: AngryDragon: Cool.

Are veggie "pork chops" and "slabs of ribs" next?

I've just never understood this.  I don't try to make my pork roast look like tofu.

Well, tofu farking tastes like shiat, so ...


Well tofu that hasn't gone bad should taste like nothing by itself. Its supposed to absorb flavors.
 
2014-04-02 11:51:23 AM
I find it hilarious to see how upset and confrontational some meat-eaters get when they realize that other people like things they don't like.

The only people who do that on the flip side are militant vegans, and nobody likes them either.

Just sayin'.
 
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