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(ThinkGeek)   This year's ThinkGeek April Fools' Day hoax everyone wishes was real: Rosetta Stone's newest language software helps you learn to speak Klingon. Bonus: As pitched by Worf   ( thinkgeek.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Rosetta Stone, Klingons, language software, prefixes, photon torpedoes  
•       •       •

3392 clicks; posted to Geek » on 02 Apr 2014 at 1:11 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-02 11:59:12 AM  
It would NOT surprise me to learn that this one was chosen to be made real. I have a Klingon Dictionary around here, it's not like the language isn't at least SOMEWHAT fleshed out.

You guys DO know at least one ThinkGeek April Fool's prank gets made into a real product every year, right?
 
2014-04-02 11:59:45 AM  
Believe it or not, back in the day, Simon & Schuster already released a similar product with the game Star Trek: Klingon. It was called the Klingon Language lab and it contained a rudimentary voice recognition system to help you pronounce the Klingon words.

tlhingan.atView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2014-04-02 01:18:27 PM  
I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.
 
2014-04-02 01:25:03 PM  
Rosetta Stone teaching English to English speakers...with a completely made-up vocabulary and syntax would be good.
 
2014-04-02 01:26:19 PM  

Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.


Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.
 
2014-04-02 01:35:33 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.


Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"
 
2014-04-02 01:39:19 PM  
The wizard staff was pretty cool.  People will be making those for conventions.
 
2014-04-02 01:40:17 PM  
It's been done before. Somewhere, I have my old Conversational Kingon audio tapes, taught by Mark Okerland and Michael Dorn.

/ma'j
 
2014-04-02 01:41:31 PM  

That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"


It has.  There was a conversational book and tape set released 22 years ago.  Also, see the video game post above.
 
2014-04-02 01:42:14 PM  
'oH QaQ
 
2014-04-02 01:42:50 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.


It's pretty comparable to Tagalog.  Sure, there  used to be a separate originating culture, but the Spanish ate it, and now the language doesn't even really exist as anything but a second language-- like Klingon, you  can raise a kid on it but it's pretty much child abuse.

At least Trekkies are a culture that's still around instead of one that's extinct.
 
2014-04-02 01:55:43 PM  

Jim_Callahan: At least Trekkies are a culture that's still around instead of one that's extinct.


Let me play you the song of my people.

img1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2014-04-02 02:03:01 PM  
I'm the audio engineer of 'How To Speak Klingon,' so I'm getting a kick...

/true story
 
2014-04-02 02:19:27 PM  
Isn't Rosetta about immersion learning? Is your instructor screaming at you the whole time?

If I hear "A Klingon warrior.." one more time, I'm gonna go Wolf 359 on this place.
 
2014-04-02 02:21:33 PM  

Saborlas: It would NOT surprise me to learn that this one was chosen to be made real. I have a Klingon Dictionary around here, it's not like the language isn't at least SOMEWHAT fleshed out.

You guys DO know at least one ThinkGeek April Fool's prank gets made into a real product every year, right?


I also got a kick out of the Nerf Nuke and the Flux Capacitor USB charging station. ThinkGeek is a very fun site where I could get into a LOT of trouble.

Also: "Offer not available on Earth"...

Gee, THANKS, Rosetta Stone!
 
2014-04-02 02:30:31 PM  
Everyone?
 
2014-04-02 02:39:33 PM  

RexTalionis: Believe it or not, back in the day, Simon & Schuster already released a similar product with the game Star Trek: Klingon. It was called the Klingon Language lab and it contained a rudimentary voice recognition system to help you pronounce the Klingon words.

[www.tlhingan.at image 300x218]

[img.fark.net image 259x194]


I'm pretty sure I have my old copy of the Klingon Language Lab floating around somewhere.
 
2014-04-02 02:43:06 PM  

Saborlas: It would NOT surprise me to learn that this one was chosen to be made real. I have a Klingon Dictionary around here, it's not like the language isn't at least SOMEWHAT fleshed out.

You guys DO know at least one ThinkGeek April Fool's prank gets made into a real product every year, right?


At this point, so many get made into real objects that I assume that many of these "fake" products are halfway into production already. The staff, drinking horn, tactical tie, and spellcasting staff seem to be the most obvious candidates this year.
 
2014-04-02 02:44:17 PM  

Disposable Rob: Saborlas: It would NOT surprise me to learn that this one was chosen to be made real. I have a Klingon Dictionary around here, it's not like the language isn't at least SOMEWHAT fleshed out.

You guys DO know at least one ThinkGeek April Fool's prank gets made into a real product every year, right?

At this point, so many get made into real objects that I assume that many of these "fake" products are halfway into production already. The staff, drinking horn, tactical tie, and spellcasting staff seem to be the most obvious candidates this year.


Err, stein.
 
2014-04-02 02:46:13 PM  

Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.



I doubt there are over 200 million people who speak Klingon.
 
2014-04-02 02:50:05 PM  

bsharitt: RexTalionis: Believe it or not, back in the day, Simon & Schuster already released a similar product with the game Star Trek: Klingon. It was called the Klingon Language lab and it contained a rudimentary voice recognition system to help you pronounce the Klingon words.

[www.tlhingan.at image 300x218]

[img.fark.net image 259x194]

I'm pretty sure I have my old copy of the Klingon Language Lab floating around somewhere.


I think mine is the 3rd or 4th disc in my copy of Star Trek: Klingon.
 
2014-04-02 03:18:03 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Urdu


There are 65 million native speakers of Urdu.
 
2014-04-02 03:30:40 PM  

Disposable Rob: Disposable Rob: Saborlas: It would NOT surprise me to learn that this one was chosen to be made real. I have a Klingon Dictionary around here, it's not like the language isn't at least SOMEWHAT fleshed out.

You guys DO know at least one ThinkGeek April Fool's prank gets made into a real product every year, right?

At this point, so many get made into real objects that I assume that many of these "fake" products are halfway into production already. The staff, drinking horn, tactical tie, and spellcasting staff seem to be the most obvious candidates this year.

Err, stein.


Yup.  They will probably announce something like "Since you're all begging for these (and since we already paid for plastic tooling and have a few pallets in the warehouse), we will be making the obvious choices into real products!"
 
2014-04-02 03:38:58 PM  

Saborlas: It would NOT surprise me to learn that this one was chosen to be made real. I have a Klingon Dictionary around here, it's not like the language isn't at least SOMEWHAT fleshed out.

You guys DO know at least one ThinkGeek April Fool's prank gets made into a real product every year, right?


You know if enough nerds pay money for this eventually we'll see Rosetta Stones for Vulcan and Romulan languages too.

I'm a little surprised they didn't already realize this would be a license to print Trekky money.
 
2014-04-02 03:39:34 PM  

That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"



while i agree with you almost completely, if i had to make a defining line between real and "fake" holidays, i would probably start with some thing tied to a universal given that could be measured. therefore i guess i would start with the equinoxes and solstices. not really 'holidays' for everybody, and non-existent for an astronomically ignorant society, but everybody could agree to why the days were special in some way

/"a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"
//not sure about kwanzaa cake
 
2014-04-02 03:41:55 PM  
You have not experienced Rosetta Stone until you have learned it in the original Klingon.
 
2014-04-02 03:42:22 PM  

give me doughnuts: I doubt there are over 200 million people who speak Klingon.


...or over 200 Klingon speakers who get laid.  I mean hell I like Star Trek just fine but people get just plain stupid about it.
 
2014-04-02 03:46:38 PM  
Kuntar pi'tiki ma'ay; a'al fook su.
 
2014-04-02 03:50:41 PM  
Er. As said above...

There was some Star Trek compliation thing I picked up about 15 years ago at Pic n Save (Random Crap Seller Of Unmovable Stock). One of the CDs was "Conversational Klingon" with Micheal Dorn.

http://www.amazon.com/Star-Trek-Conversational-Marc-Okrand/dp/067179 73 95
 
2014-04-02 03:58:27 PM  

justabitdisturbed: Kuntar pi'tiki ma'ay; a'al fook su.


Is that Klingon or Glaswegian?
 
2014-04-02 04:12:45 PM  

sethen320: That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"

Seriously?  Please tell me you're just looking for something to troll about.


Nope, I'm honestly curious if anyone has a definition to separate "real" from "fake" culture that manages to be universal.
 
2014-04-02 04:14:49 PM  
Personally I voted for the Flux Capacitor charger.  That looked cool.
 
2014-04-02 04:21:15 PM  
As a typical person who does not speak the language, I do what all other do in my position.

I know the curse words.

P'Tahk!!!!
 
2014-04-02 04:23:53 PM  

sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"

Seriously?  Please tell me you're just looking for something to troll about.

Nope, I'm honestly curious if anyone has a definition to separate "real" from "fake" culture that manages to be universal.

You really can't tell the difference between groups of human beings which you can interact with and fictional aliens from a TV show?


So, what you're saying is "no, I can't come up with any other definition except 'I just feel this way about it'". By the way, I've interacted with far, far more people who dress, act, and speak as Klingons that I have people who speak Urdu. What I'm asking you for is a universal definition that separates the two of them based on something a little more valid than "I just know it when I see it."
 
2014-04-02 04:25:19 PM  

sethen320: You really can't tell the difference between groups of human beings which you can interact with and fictional aliens from a TV show?


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2014-04-02 04:26:54 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


I put one of these in Northwestern University's language lab in the early 90's.
 
2014-04-02 04:49:39 PM  

That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"

Seriously?  Please tell me you're just looking for something to troll about.

Nope, I'm honestly curious if anyone has a definition to separate "real" from "fake" culture that manages to be universal.

You really can't tell the difference between groups of human beings which you can interact with and fictional aliens from a TV show?

So, what you're saying is "no, I can't come up with any other definition except 'I just feel this way about it'". By the way, I've interacted with far, far more people who dress, act, and speak as Klingons that I have people who speak Urdu. What I'm asking you for is a universal definition that separates the two of them based on something a little more valid than "I just know it when I see it."


How many of them are Klingon full time?
 
2014-04-02 04:52:21 PM  

SuperChuck: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"

Seriously?  Please tell me you're just looking for something to troll about.

Nope, I'm honestly curious if anyone has a definition to separate "real" from "fake" culture that manages to be universal.

You really can't tell the difference between groups of human beings which you can interact with and fictional aliens from a TV show?

So, what you're saying is "no, I can't come up with any other definition except 'I just feel this way about it'". By the way, I've interacted with far, far more people who dress, act, and speak as Klingons that I have people who speak Urdu. What I'm asking you for is a universal definition that separates the two of them based on something a little more valid than "I just know it when I see it."

How many of them are Klingon full time?


How many people walk around in full Scottish kilt and bagpipes full time?
 
2014-04-02 05:07:55 PM  

sethen320: SuperChuck: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"

Seriously?  Please tell me you're just looking for something to troll about.

Nope, I'm honestly curious if anyone has a definition to separate "real" from "fake" culture that manages to be universal.

You really can't tell the difference between groups of human beings which you can interact with and fictional aliens from a TV show?

So, what you're saying is "no, I can't come up with any other definition except 'I just feel this way about it'". By the way, I've interacted with far, far more people who dress, act, and speak as Klingons that I have people who speak Urdu. What I'm asking you for is a universal definition that separates the two of them based on something a little more valid than "I just know it when I see it."

How many of them are Klingon full time?

Forget it.  He's determined to over-analyze this into reality.  There's no point in arguing.


But its pretty amazing how hardcore adamant he is that his nerd love must be taken seriously! You guys!
 
2014-04-02 05:10:06 PM  
That Guy Jeff:  By the way, I've interacted with far, far more people who dress, act, and speak as Klingons that I have people who speak Urdu.

That's because you don't live in Urdustan. You live in NERDustan.
 
2014-04-02 05:18:21 PM  

sethen320: ImNotFatImFluffy: sethen320: SuperChuck: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"

Seriously?  Please tell me you're just looking for something to troll about.

Nope, I'm honestly curious if anyone has a definition to separate "real" from "fake" culture that manages to be universal.

You really can't tell the difference between groups of human beings which you can interact with and fictional aliens from a TV show?

So, what you're saying is "no, I can't come up with any other definition except 'I just feel this way about it'". By the way, I've interacted with far, far more people who dress, act, and speak as Klingons that I have people who speak Urdu. What I'm asking you for is a universal definition that separates the two of them based on something a little more valid than "I just know it when I see it."

How many of them are Klingon full time?

Forget it.  He's determined to over-analyze this into reality.  There's no point in arguing.

But its pretty amazing how hardcore adamant he is that his nerd love must be taken seriously! You guys!

I do admire his conviction.


I don't speak klingon, nor do I dress as one. I do, however, despise arbitrary distinctions. As far as I can tell, calling Klingon fake compared to other cultures is the same thing as calling Kwanzaa a fake holiday, or calling scientology a fake religion. Those are objectively wrong, because as it turns out, someone made up ALL the languages, cultures, holidays, and religions. Some just happen to be made up earlier than others. That is not a valid line of distinction, nor is "I know it when I see it" or "it's a nerd thing".

What I'm asking for, from any of you people, is some sort of definition of what constitutes a "real" culture that backs your beliefs in the matter.
 
2014-04-02 05:26:11 PM  
Am I crazy or is that not David Blue aka Eli from Stargate Universe?
 
2014-04-02 05:52:01 PM  

That Guy Jeff: Some just happen to be made up earlier than others. That is not a valid line of distinction, nor is "I know it when I see it" or "it's a nerd thing".


Wait, why isn't age a valid line of distinction? I mean, after all, it's perfectly fine to distinguish stuff that are antiques from stuff that aren't antiques on the basis of their respective ages, right?
 
2014-04-02 06:02:12 PM  

sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: ImNotFatImFluffy: sethen320: SuperChuck: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"

Seriously?  Please tell me you're just looking for something to troll about.

Nope, I'm honestly curious if anyone has a definition to separate "real" from "fake" culture that manages to be universal.

You really can't tell the difference between groups of human beings which you can interact with and fictional aliens from a TV show?

So, what you're saying is "no, I can't come up with any other definition except 'I just feel this way about it'". By the way, I've interacted with far, far more people who dress, act, and speak as Klingons that I have people who speak Urdu. What I'm asking you for is a universal definition that separates the two of them based on something a little more valid than "I just know it when I see it."

How many of them are Klingon full time?

Forget it.  He's determined to over-analyze this into reality.  There's no point in arguing.

But its pretty amazing how hardcore adamant he is that his nerd love must be taken seriously! You guys!

I do admire his conviction.

I don't speak klingon, nor do I dress as one. I do, however, despise arbitrary distinctions. As far as I can tell, calling Klingon fake compared to other cultures is the same thing as calling Kwanzaa a fake holiday, or calling scientology a fake religion. Those are objectively wrong, because as ...


So, still no definition. You're still just throwing out arbitrary distinctions and saying "it's ridiculous because it's ridiculous!". That kind of circular bullshiat just isn't going to cut it.

And also, no one is claiming to be Klingon in species. That would be ridiculous.
 
2014-04-02 06:14:55 PM  

Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.


Ummm....not tagalog.
Do you realize how many people live in the Philippines?

Have philippine GF for last 18 months.
Who is 21 years younger than me.
CSB
 
2014-04-02 06:22:35 PM  

RexTalionis: That Guy Jeff: Some just happen to be made up earlier than others. That is not a valid line of distinction, nor is "I know it when I see it" or "it's a nerd thing".

Wait, why isn't age a valid line of distinction? I mean, after all, it's perfectly fine to distinguish stuff that are antiques from stuff that aren't antiques on the basis of their respective ages, right?


Antique is a term referring to how old something is. Obviously if you judging how old something is, basing the term used on how old something is... is mandatory. That's like saying "a mile distinguishes a distance, so why can't distance be used to distinguish whether a culture is real or not". It's nonsense.

Let's explore age though. How would age be a valid distinction? First, who has the authority to determine the age that differentiates a "real" from a "fake" culture? Once a "fake" culture gets old enough to pass the line, is it now magically a real culture? Or is the line an immovable date, forever delineating the end of the creation of new cultures? Is the line subject to change and debate? Can exceptions be made to it? It all seems incredibly arbitrary.

And then there are real world examples. How about the culture of Haiti? They are only a few hundred years old, the original peeps where all wiped out.  Are the cargo cults in Pacific Islands "real" cultures? They are only 70 years old. Could Silicon Valley be considered to have a unique, and "real" culture? They've been around for even less time.
 
2014-04-02 06:22:52 PM  
... and Adam Savage.  Bonus!
 
2014-04-02 06:28:37 PM  

sethen320: What are your views on religion?


... it's all stuff people made up, obviously? There's no meaningful differentiation between Scientology, Christianity, the Greek Pantheon, and that island full of peeps who worship Prince Phillip.
 
2014-04-02 06:38:23 PM  

sethen320: That Guy Jeff: sethen320: What are your views on religion?

... it's all stuff people made up, obviously? There's no meaningful differentiation between Scientology, Christianity, the Greek Pantheon, and that island full of peeps who worship Prince Phillip.

What makes Klingon on any different?

Why do you get to choose that Klingon is real and religion is not?

I need to see your data.


I'm asking for you distinction between what you consider "real" and "fake". I'm afraid that your question doesn't work when I'm arguing that they are all the same. You're starting to get awfully retarded in your inability to provide a distinction between "real" cultures and "fake" cultures. If there's such an obvious line between the two you would think it would be easy to provide that definition.
 
2014-04-02 06:44:37 PM  

That Guy Jeff: ArcadianRefugee: Jim_Callahan: I'm... somewhat surprised that that hasn't been a thing for years, honestly.  They have Urdu and Tagalog, probably more Klingon speakers in the world than either of those.

Then again, those belong to real cultures while "Klingon" is a fictitious who-the-hell-cares-you-nerd language.

Define "real culture". Every single culture and language on this planet was made up at some point... I'm curious how you would define stark universal line between the "real ones" and "fake ones".

// same with "made up holidays" vs "real holidays"


When was the last time you were lost and needed to ask directions in the Klingon part of town?
 
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