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(Lifehacker Australia)   How to survive 33 hours stuck on an airplane   (lifehacker.com.au) divider line 168
    More: Scary, airplanes, Cathay Pacific, hub airport, immigration officer, Oh Shit, flights  
•       •       •

10782 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2014 at 11:21 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



168 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-02 11:44:26 AM  
Such a boring article why is it even greenlighted?

Summary.
Nerd complaining about:
-Motion sickness
-Peanut allergy
-Boredom
-Not enough games/things to watch on his phone and tablet

I would have thrown him out a window if I were there.
 
2014-04-02 11:44:58 AM  
I go in the bathroom for 5 hours and when I come out, I'm wearing a pilot's uniform.  I start ordering the sky waitresses around "Form a pyramid!  A pyramid!  Not a triangle!" and then tell the passengers they can walk out on the wings if they can give me $20. I also tell them there's extra food hidden on the plane.  They just have to find it.

Then, I go back in to the bathroom and come out in my regular clothes.  I shoot some video and forward it to the lawyers/tv news.
 
2014-04-02 11:45:46 AM  

d23: Google sez a this moment it is about $128.92.

Not much, however, like I said, Delta would be say "Suck it up, cowboy" and do jack shiat.


Not much? They are being inconvenienced, not tortured. They get 120 dollars, about enough for a very fun night out, to compensate for 1 night of not getting of the plane. They should just talk to people and amuse themselves for a bit.
 
2014-04-02 11:46:25 AM  
Hide and seek?

i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 11:47:00 AM  

NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!


So inflate the slides. It was raining right? Bonus water park!


That... is a damn fine answer.

*tips hat*
 
2014-04-02 11:48:25 AM  
Obviously some of you guys don't suffer from claustrophobia at all. I can't sit in a chair surrounded by strangers in a tube for endless hours without flipping out at least a little bit. I would need a LOT of vodka and or painkillers.
 
2014-04-02 11:49:29 AM  
33 hrs stuck on a plane? Much of that sitting still at an airport unable to disembark?  Assault the weakest looking adult on the plane until you are forcibly pried off and tossed off the plane in chains. Worth it.
 
2014-04-02 11:50:11 AM  
Its 33 hours. As long as you don't injure yourself you will survive.
 
2014-04-02 11:50:24 AM  
Nice try, Lao Che!
 
2014-04-02 11:51:30 AM  
There was probably a huge orgy on board and he wasn't invited. Asthma and all.
 
2014-04-02 11:54:01 AM  

gadian: 33 hrs stuck on a plane? Much of that sitting still at an airport unable to disembark?  Assault the weakest looking adult on the plane until you are forcibly pried off and tossed off the plane in chains. Worth it.


Do you think the Chinese police care if the white devils kill one another?
 
2014-04-02 11:54:20 AM  
Oh boo-hoo. People have been stuck on Malaysia flight 370 for over three weeks and how do you think they feel?
 
2014-04-02 11:54:25 AM  
Dallas to Singapore was a total of 22 flying hours with a 2 hour layover in Tokyo thrown in....it was challenge not going crazy.
 
2014-04-02 11:55:16 AM  

Gunboat: The most amazing thing about that story are the comments defending the Chinese government.


Haven't you ever heard of the 50-cent brigades? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFdr4gWsGog
 
2014-04-02 11:55:40 AM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Dallas to Singapore was a total of 22 flying hours with a 2 hour layover in Tokyo thrown in....it was challenge not going crazy.


See, I think you can tolerate it better if you actually are moving and heading towards your destination.

Being stuck on a tarmac, knowing you aren't getting anywhere for a long time, that will rip even the sanest man's sanity open.
 
2014-04-02 11:56:19 AM  

Arkanaut: fruitloop: TL;DR

How many people did they eat?

No one, but someone took a small bite out of each passenger.


Clearly, this was not an experienced cannibal. He did not get on that plane expecting to eat anyone.

/KITH FTW
 
2014-04-02 11:56:35 AM  
Fly business or first class. It's the only reasonable way to travel long distances in a short amount of time without going insane.
 
2014-04-02 11:57:59 AM  

Super Chronic: Oh boo-hoo. People have been stuck on Malaysia flight 370 for over three weeks and how do you think they feel?


Soggy.
 
2014-04-02 11:58:48 AM  
Jesus, I would go insane half-way in.

d23: An U.S. based airline would have said "stop biatching" and given out a voucher for free peanuts on the next flight.


FWIW, I have noticed that Alaska has started giving out vouchers for 2000 points any time there is the smallest hiccup. Surprising (and welcome).
 
2014-04-02 11:58:49 AM  

Anayalator: Hide and seek?

[i.imgur.com image 610x406]


Dang, and that's what I get for having the thread open for that long and not refreshing before commenting. (I really didn't think it had been eight minutes though. Had some other threads open too.) So, tiny fist, etc.
 
2014-04-02 11:58:55 AM  

Confabulat: Obviously some of you guys don't suffer from claustrophobia at all. I can't sit in a chair surrounded by strangers in a tube for endless hours without flipping out at least a little bit. I would need a LOT of vodka and or painkillers.


wtf ever happened to Xanax, people?

digistil: Fly business or first class. It's the only reasonable way to travel long distances in a short amount of time without going insane.


You say that like it's a bad thing.
/I have kids and chose insanity a long, long time ago. It's blissful.
 
2014-04-02 11:59:49 AM  

cybrwzrd: MooseBayou: Thanks to the turbulence, we landed at Zhuhai with the young man in seat 39H having thrown up several times due to severe motion sickness. That young man was unfortunately me.

Meh, I kinda like this guy.

I don't. I fly a lot and people like him need to stay on the ground in their hypoallergenic bubbles segregated away from the rest of society. On top of that, if he had a true nut allergy as well he would have been dead from anaphylaxis from nut particles in the air, not just from being a sissy boy whose mommy told him not to eat nuts as they make him gassy. We couldn't be so lucky as to have that happened to his entitled first world self.


Unless you can find a way for his money to be less green then yours then I'm afraid you're just going to have to deal with him and his ilk in your regular flying routine.
 
2014-04-02 12:00:16 PM  

Coming on a Bicycle: The guy is asthmatic and allergic to nuts. And decided to fly without medication and/or food without nuts. So yeah - it's a bit of an unprepared first-worlder story.


This is what I got from the story as well.  "I had enough entertainment for 33 hours, but forgot any of the things I need to live."
 
2014-04-02 12:00:25 PM  

Grumpy Cat: There was probably a huge orgy on board and he wasn't invited. Asthma and all.


Not to mention all the exposure to nuts.
 
2014-04-02 12:00:40 PM  
As long as her panties are around her ankles, round it up to 40.
therumhowlerblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-02 12:01:50 PM  
Work yourself into an uncontrollable rage, crack open the skull of a passenger in front of you and feast on the goo inside?
 
2014-04-02 12:03:33 PM  

Super Chronic: Oh boo-hoo. People have been stuck on Malaysia flight 370 for over three weeks and how do you think they feel?


We all know that they're in a prison in Diego Garcia.
 
2014-04-02 12:04:03 PM  

ChipNASA: GTFO and *walk* a-hole.

/jebus is it THAT complicated??


Um. You've never been stuck on a grounded plane, have you?  You are not allowed off.

You could try the emergency exit, but you would be arrested (if not shot by overzealous security.)
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-04-02 12:04:05 PM  

D135: Work yourself into an uncontrollable rage, crack open the skull of a passenger in front of you and feast on the goo inside?


For some reason this reminds me of a SNL sketch Will Ferrel was in which morning show anchors return to a state of nature and start killing each other when their teleprompter breaks down.  The thin line between sanity and insanity is brittle indeed.
 
2014-04-02 12:04:44 PM  
Nobody put a gun to your head and said "Go to China"
 
2014-04-02 12:05:26 PM  

Skarekrough: cybrwzrd: MooseBayou: Thanks to the turbulence, we landed at Zhuhai with the young man in seat 39H having thrown up several times due to severe motion sickness. That young man was unfortunately me.

Meh, I kinda like this guy.

I don't. I fly a lot and people like him need to stay on the ground in their hypoallergenic bubbles segregated away from the rest of society. On top of that, if he had a true nut allergy as well he would have been dead from anaphylaxis from nut particles in the air, not just from being a sissy boy whose mommy told him not to eat nuts as they make him gassy. We couldn't be so lucky as to have that happened to his entitled first world self.

Unless you can find a way for his money to be less green then yours then I'm afraid you're just going to have to deal with him and his ilk in your regular flying routine.


Good point, but no matter how green his money is - it does not prevent him from being an insufferable little worm, or me from deriding him as such.
 
2014-04-02 12:05:46 PM  
Apparently, according to this guy, you biatch your way through it.
 
2014-04-02 12:06:00 PM  
Throw up on the plane?  Check.
Considers having to sleep on the plane "susrvival"?  Check.
Nut allergies?  Check.
Asthma?  Check.
Considers having to re-watch content on his iPad some form of torture?  Check that too.


So the guy considers having to sleep on a plane "survival"?  What an idiot.  Throwing up all over the place was probably unavoidable for him but still, not cool.  But the thing that really gets me is he has nut allergies (of course he does) and asthma yet he doesn't think to prepare for this before getting on an international flight?  It doesn't matter if he wasn't planning on having to sleep in China, there's always the possibility of your non-checked bags not arriving with you.  This guy is an unprepared whiny little douchebag.

I fly a lot.  There are things which you ALWAYS pack in your carry on bag, NEVER in your checked bags:
Snacks
Medicines
Car Keys
House Keys
Phone Charger
Travel Documents

The keys thing is just a fear of mine.  It would really suck to get home and not be able to drive to your house or get in.
 
2014-04-02 12:06:37 PM  

Odd Bird: As long as her panties are around her ankles, round it up to 40.
[therumhowlerblog.files.wordpress.com image 300x359]



What the hell are you going to do the other 39 hours and 57 minutes?
 
2014-04-02 12:06:45 PM  

sethen320: Throw up on the plane?  Check.
Considers having to sleep on the plane "susrvival"?  Check.
Nut allergies?  Check.
Asthma?  Check.
Considers having to re-watch content on his iPad some form of torture?  Check that too.


So the guy considers having to sleep on a plane "survival"?  What an idiot.  Throwing up all over the place was probably unavoidable for him but still, not cool.  But the thing that really gets me is he has nut allergies (of course he does) and asthma yet he doesn't think to prepare for this before getting on an international flight?  It doesn't matter if he wasn't planning on having to sleep in China, there's always the possibility of your non-checked bags not arriving with you.  This guy is an unprepared whiny little douchebag.

I fly a lot.  There are things which you ALWAYS pack in your carry on bag, NEVER in your checked bags:
Snacks
Medicines
Car Keys
House Keys
Phone Charger
Travel Documents

The keys thing is just a fear of mine.  It would really suck to get home and not be able to drive to your house or get in.


Doh!  I meant there's the possibility of your CHECKED bags not arriving with you.
 
2014-04-02 12:07:06 PM  
So, apparently being bored and slightly hungry for a day and a half is what passes for a "harrowing experience" these days.
 
2014-04-02 12:07:34 PM  

Coming on a Bicycle: maram500: d23: $HK1000 ($A120)

In American, that's what, like five bucks?

Well then, in Euros, it must be about three. And in UK pounds, about one-and-a-half.


applausesign.jpg

And I'm an American.

/who dislikes ugly 'muricans
//inb4 "relax francis"
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-04-02 12:07:40 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Odd Bird: As long as her panties are around her ankles, round it up to 40.
[therumhowlerblog.files.wordpress.com image 300x359]


What the hell are you going to do the other 39 hours and 57 minutes?


I'd disappoint her if given the chance. THAT'S SO.
 
2014-04-02 12:07:53 PM  

digistil: Fly business or first class. It's the only reasonable way to travel long distances in a short amount of time without going insane.


You sound rich.
 
2014-04-02 12:08:40 PM  

digistil: Fly business or first class. It's the only reasonable way to travel long distances in a short amount of time without going insane.


I think business class moves at the same speed as coach when you're sitting on the tarmac.  I would imagine the amount of discomfort would be about the same as well.  I haven't seen any studies or anything, just a hunch.
 
2014-04-02 12:08:44 PM  
So, in other words AVOID CHINA! Why anybody goes to China or does business with China I'll never know. More than that I'm baffled when westerners biatch about China acting like they are Chinese.
 
2014-04-02 12:08:55 PM  

XMark: So, apparently being bored and slightly hungry for a day and a half is what passes for a "harrowing experience" these days.


Again, you're stuck in a tube surrounded by strangers with a very small amount of personal space.

If you think that sounds groovy and cool to you, I hope I never fly with your type. You're probably the sort that tries to make conversation.
 
2014-04-02 12:08:55 PM  
I hate flying. I hate the cramped seats, I hate the food and I hate the hurry-up-and-wait mentality of airports.

Stopped reading there.  Your blog had such an "I suxor" mentality to it.
 
2014-04-02 12:09:38 PM  

d23: maram500: d23: $HK1000 ($A120)

In American, that's what, like five bucks?

Google sez a this moment it is about $128.92.

Not much, however, like I said, Delta would be say "Suck it up, cowboy" and do jack shiat.


maram500, have you *not* been paying attention to the economy? The US Dollar hasn't been preeminent for some time now.
 
2014-04-02 12:10:34 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: Super Chronic: Oh boo-hoo. People have been stuck on Malaysia flight 370 for over three weeks and how do you think they feel?

Soggy.


Wrinkly?
 
2014-04-02 12:10:44 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Odd Bird: As long as her panties are around her ankles, round it up to 40.
[therumhowlerblog.files.wordpress.com image 300x359]


What the hell are you going to do the other 39 hours and 57 minutes?


Did you NOT see the bottle of Vodka?

/three whole minutes?  Are you some sort of machine!
 
2014-04-02 12:10:55 PM  

trappedspirit: I hate flying. I hate the cramped seats, I hate the food and I hate the hurry-up-and-wait mentality of airports.

Stopped reading there.  Your blog had such an "I suxor" mentality to it.


Do you LIKE flying? Do you LIKE any of those named things?

just curious.
 
2014-04-02 12:11:13 PM  

brimed03: Coming on a Bicycle: maram500: d23: $HK1000 ($A120)

In American, that's what, like five bucks?

Well then, in Euros, it must be about three. And in UK pounds, about one-and-a-half.

applausesign.jpg

And I'm an American.

/who dislikes ugly 'muricans
//inb4 "relax francis"


I won't say "relax Francis" or even "lighten up Francis" but I will wonder who the hell thinks currency exchange rates are a source of national pride, one way or the other.
 
2014-04-02 12:12:07 PM  

anfrind: digistil: Fly business or first class. It's the only reasonable way to travel long distances in a short amount of time without going insane.

You sound rich.


This. First class is a months salary or more for us peons.
 
2014-04-02 12:13:49 PM  

Coming on a Bicycle: Overall on the piece, though: doncha hate it when some twenty-year old writes about his 'problems' in third person?


I don't think his age has anything to do with it; it's an established and perfectly valid technique. Hell, I'm pretty sure Douglas Adams wrote from the fourth-person perspective.

/but never in the future perfect since it was discovered not to be
 
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