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(NPR)   Americans are "floating in a pool" of ranch dressing. A delicious, delicious pool that goes great with everything from hot wings to pizza crust to french fries and is even better when mixed with ketchup   (npr.org) divider line 121
    More: Cool, ranch dressing, Americans, salad dresses, pizzas, ranches, Swiss Army, Steve Henson  
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4957 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2014 at 10:29 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



121 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-02 01:33:57 AM
Ranch dressing is Satan's semen.
 
2014-04-02 01:36:34 AM
ranch dressing is for losers
 
2014-04-02 01:45:30 AM
I eat ranch on a salad (either mixed with Frank's Red Hot, or some buffalo wing sauce) but it doesn't belong anywhere near wings!

/if you live near a GFS you can get 10lbs of fresh wings for $19.99.
//they had a huge box for $60 but I didn't look at how many lbs it was
 
2014-04-02 02:04:05 AM
When I was in junior high (early '70s), whenever I stayed over at my friend Candy's house, she'd make some kind of dip with a container of sour cream and a packet of Uncle Dan's, which was a dry dressing mix ( sort of like Lipton's onion soup mix).

Uncle Dan's was dill flavored, sort of, but sort of ranch-like. But this was before ranch dressing became hugely popular. And I don't eat the chemical cocktail that passes for most dressings and dips, since they started making them out of vegetable oil.

Does anyone else remember Uncle Dan's?
 
2014-04-02 02:26:19 AM

MadAzza: When I was in junior high (early '70s), whenever I stayed over at my friend Candy's house, she'd make some kind of dip with a container of sour cream and a packet of Uncle Dan's, which was a dry dressing mix ( sort of like Lipton's onion soup mix).

Uncle Dan's was dill flavored, sort of, but sort of ranch-like. But this was before ranch dressing became hugely popular. And I don't eat the chemical cocktail that passes for most dressings and dips, since they started making them out of vegetable oil.

Does anyone else remember Uncle Dan's?


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-02 02:33:15 AM
Mix  ketchup and ranch?  Subbie is a mutherfarker. And a barbarian without coolth.
 
2014-04-02 02:46:59 AM
Ranch dressing is looked down upon for two reasons. One: It is ubiquitous, which means there are as many crappy versions of it as there are good ones. Two:  It was invented by Americans and a lot of American cuisine is looked down upon. If the French had invented it then it would be considered one of the mother sauces and be revered amongst the culinary elite.
 
2014-04-02 03:02:59 AM

BlackMtnMan: Mix  ketchup and ranch?  Subbie is a mutherfarker. And a barbarian without coolth.


there's only one thing that should be pink when you eat it and it isn't a combination of white and red condiments.
 
2014-04-02 03:15:05 AM

sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.


This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.
 
2014-04-02 03:37:13 AM

Chaide: sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.

This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.


You're right, Hidden Valley is crap. Marzetti's is good, but a little too salty sometimes for already salty buffalo wings. The best in my book is still the original:

img3.targetimg3.com

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.
 
2014-04-02 03:50:35 AM

Danger Avoid Death: Chaide: sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.

This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.

You're right, Hidden Valley is crap. Marzetti's is good, but a little too salty sometimes for already salty buffalo wings. The best in my book is still the original:

[img3.targetimg3.com image 410x410]

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.


Nice! I'm gonna have to keep my eye out for Bob's. I never noticed much of a saltiness to Marzetti, but I probably would in comparison with another solid dressing.

And I agree about refrigerating. They sell the good stuff in the coolers.
 
2014-04-02 03:52:20 AM
Unrepentant fatbody checking in. I love ranch dressing. Absolutely love it. There is a long list of foods that I only eat because they're a vessel for the dressel. Fries, French bread, ramen noodles, spicy garlic wings, cheesy breadsticks, pizza rolls...the list goes on. I'm quite certain it will kill me, but I'm a hedonist and a libertine at heart. I fully plan to meet the Grim Reaper with a full stomach, half a buzz on, and a raging hard-on. Come at me, braaargh....
 
2014-04-02 04:00:23 AM
Only because no one else would ever eat that crap.
 
2014-04-02 04:12:54 AM

MrHappyRotter: I'm a total outlier. I'm American. I'm floating in nothing, other than maybe air? I don't particularly like ranch dressing, and typically avoid it. I've tried all variations in my years. I've had the commercially available brands, I've had various mixes, I've had made from scratch. Some of it is out right disgusting to me, some of it is palatable, but far from being preferred. Overall, it helps me understand those folks that find mayo to be gross. It also makes me understand cum pigs. If you don't know what that is, don't worry. Explore no further. You probably don't want to know what a cum pig is. Unless you're a closet cum pig. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. If you are a cum pig or closet cum pig, feel free to do some research. Same with ranch dressing and mayo.


I figured I knew what a "cum pig" was.  Googled anyway and since not enough info was given I clicked GIS.  WOW, uh, whats the name for chicks that are into that activity?
 
2014-04-02 04:17:32 AM
meh.... I still prefer a nice balsamic vinaigrette or italian dressing on my salad... and keep any and all dressings the fark away from my pizza and wings or I will cut a biatch...
 
2014-04-02 04:21:06 AM

Chaide: Danger Avoid Death: Chaide: sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.

This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.

You're right, Hidden Valley is crap. Marzetti's is good, but a little too salty sometimes for already salty buffalo wings. The best in my book is still the original:

[img3.targetimg3.com image 410x410]

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.

Nice! I'm gonna have to keep my eye out for Bob's. I never noticed much of a saltiness to Marzetti, but I probably would in comparison with another solid dressing.

And I agree about refrigerating. They sell the good stuff in the coolers.


Bob's Bleu Cheese dressing is pretty good, but I might be a bit prejudiced because it's what I grew up with. We used to go to Bob's Big Boy in Burbank before going to the Pickwick Drive-in and I remember I would always save some Bleu Cheese dressing dressing for the fries. This was back in the 70's, and I haven't used ketchup on fries since; can't stand the stuff.

Incidentally, the Bob's here in Burbank still has car hop service on weekends, and boy does that bring back memories. (Two places I remember from my childhood where we had car hop service were Bob's and the old A&W drive-in -- yes the same A&W that makes the root beer.) So does Classic car Friday nights, but that's something for a whole other thread.
 
2014-04-02 04:46:37 AM

Mark Ratner: Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.


...Not trying to get around the filter, but simply just Sofa King Whee! Todd Did, right?
 
2014-04-02 06:05:12 AM

bdub77: pick an herb - i like rosemary


People that like rosemary ought to be sterilized.

/ok, maybe not
//shiat's nasty, though
 
2014-04-02 06:18:24 AM

Sid_6.7: Smeggy Smurf: Mark Ratner: Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.

18 year old scotch mixed with Mt Dew goes so well with that.  It's like a blowjob from an angel

Regular Mountain Dew is just too syrupy for a good single malt. Diet is the way to go.

Garnish with Funyuns to taste.


NCSB:
I had a buddy back in the day accept a glass of blue label (or maybe it was green, whatever the super expensive one is...not a big fan myself) from a mutual friend. He dumped it in half a glass of pepsi and chugged it. The look of horror, confusion, and anger on my other friend's face was priceless. I laughed until I realized he was acually pretty pissed about it.
 
2014-04-02 06:26:19 AM
Since this looks like a thread where we all pretend we're too good for the dressings of the plebs, I'll vote for just plain olive oil. I love it on everything.
 
2014-04-02 06:35:14 AM
Looked up some recipes.  So it's basically a mixture of mayonnaise, sour cream and spices.  And that's if it's real.  I'm assuming if you buy it in a bottle you're buying a cheap oil at a mark-up.

If you need that shiat to make something taste good, I wouldn't question the decision to use ranch so much as what you're eating.
 
2014-04-02 06:36:03 AM
 
2014-04-02 06:44:35 AM
Ranch is gross.

It ruins everything it touches from buffalo chicken dip to salads.
 
2014-04-02 06:56:51 AM
"Clorox managed to add the right blend of preservatives to give the dressing a shelf life of approximately 150 days.  .."

That really puts me off. All I can think of now is ranch dressing tasting like bleach.

I have the same problem with Unilever (a soap co) owning Skippy peanut butter.

And Hershey bars being made in Mexico.
 
2014-04-02 07:01:08 AM

liam76: Ranch is gross.

It ruins everything it touches from buffalo chicken dip to salads.


Ranch and bleu cheese are equally disgusting to me and neither belongs anywhere near chicken.
/Bleu cheese is terrible and just overpowers anything it's mixed with.
//it tastes like mold
 
2014-04-02 07:16:40 AM

MrHappyRotter: I'm a total outlier. I'm American. I'm floating in nothing, other than maybe air? I don't particularly like ranch dressing, and typically avoid it. I've tried all variations in my years. I've had the commercially available brands, I've had various mixes, I've had made from scratch. Some of it is out right disgusting to me, some of it is palatable, but far from being preferred. Overall, it helps me understand those folks that find mayo to be gross. It also makes me understand cum pigs. If you don't know what that is, don't worry. Explore no further. You probably don't want to know what a cum pig is. Unless you're a closet cum pig. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. If you are a cum pig or closet cum pig, feel free to do some research. Same with ranch dressing and mayo.


This has got to be the ultimate 'stop liking what I don't like'.   If you like a very common food item that I don't like you must be into deviant sex!

I mean I'm not a huge ranch dressing fan either but Jesus. I don't care for smoked cheese but I don't think that people who like it are into fisting or something.
 
2014-04-02 07:31:08 AM
No "Franch" guy?  or did I just miss him?
 
2014-04-02 08:01:27 AM
Ranch dressing falls into the same category as Paula Deen eating mouthfuls of butter, or a fat man eating mayonnaise with a spoon.  It now makes me queasy.
 
2014-04-02 08:08:47 AM
How many cysts do you think they need to lance to make a bottle of ranch dressing?
 
2014-04-02 08:16:54 AM

Egoy3k: MrHappyRotter: I'm a total outlier. I'm American. I'm floating in nothing, other than maybe air? I don't particularly like ranch dressing, and typically avoid it. I've tried all variations in my years. I've had the commercially available brands, I've had various mixes, I've had made from scratch. Some of it is out right disgusting to me, some of it is palatable, but far from being preferred. Overall, it helps me understand those folks that find mayo to be gross. It also makes me understand cum pigs. If you don't know what that is, don't worry. Explore no further. You probably don't want to know what a cum pig is. Unless you're a closet cum pig. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. If you are a cum pig or closet cum pig, feel free to do some research. Same with ranch dressing and mayo.

This has got to be the ultimate 'stop liking what I don't like'.   If you like a very common food item that I don't like you must be into deviant sex!

I mean I'm not a huge ranch dressing fan either but Jesus. I don't care for smoked cheese but I don't think that people who like it are into fisting or something.


Reading comprehension. Clearly it's not one of your strengths.
 
2014-04-02 08:20:20 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: "Clorox managed to add the right blend of preservatives to give the dressing a shelf life of approximately 150 days.  .."

That really puts me off. All I can think of now is ranch dressing tasting like bleach.

I have the same problem with Unilever (a soap co) owning Skippy peanut butter.

And Hershey bars being made in Mexico.


Sorry it's bigimg.fark.net
 
2014-04-02 08:26:18 AM

robrr2003: How many cysts do you think they need to lance to make a bottle of ranch dressing?


I am stealing that.
 
2014-04-02 08:27:05 AM

SquiggsIN: Sorry it's big[img.fark.net image 850x533]


Most people have no clue that so few mega-corporations control so much of what we use on a daily basis.  But, we have no need to worry since these people-corps are benevolent and trustworthy and always have our interests and safety ahead of profit margins.
 
2014-04-02 08:27:19 AM
Gawd, you behemoths. Buffalo chicken wings are supposed to be roasted, not fried. They're not supposed to have breading on them. And you don't dip the chicken in the bleu cheese dip; that's for the celery you use to put out the fire between chicken wings.

Also, chicken wings are to be eaten at a bar, with beer. It's not a meal entree.
 
2014-04-02 08:51:48 AM

SquiggsIN: MadAzza: When I was in junior high (early '70s), whenever I stayed over at my friend Candy's house, she'd make some kind of dip with a container of sour cream and a packet of Uncle Dan's, which was a dry dressing mix ( sort of like Lipton's onion soup mix).

Uncle Dan's was dill flavored, sort of, but sort of ranch-like. But this was before ranch dressing became hugely popular. And I don't eat the chemical cocktail that passes for most dressings and dips, since they started making them out of vegetable oil.

Does anyone else remember Uncle Dan's?

[img.fark.net image 300x300]


Well ain't this place a geographical oddity.
 
2014-04-02 08:55:45 AM

mokinokaro: overpowers anything it's mixed with


That.  I like bleu cheese, but I'd like to actually taste some of the food I've put it on.  So I avoid it.
 
2014-04-02 08:59:20 AM
As a culinary artist, I have nothing to say to the plebeian masses gathered here.
I've seen you all parked at McDonald's on occasion.
 
2014-04-02 09:09:11 AM

SquiggsIN: Sorry it's big[img.fark.net image 850x533]


Neat and sad all at the same time.  Do you have a link to a larger version of that?
 
2014-04-02 09:12:01 AM

Meatschool: SquiggsIN: Sorry it's big[img.fark.net image 850x533]

Neat and sad all at the same time.  Do you have a link to a larger version of that?


I do not, I found it via GIS, surely.

/sorry i called you surely.
 
2014-04-02 09:13:59 AM

Meatschool: SquiggsIN: Sorry it's big[img.fark.net image 850x533]

Neat and sad all at the same time.  Do you have a link to a larger version of that?


... and that's just scratching the surface with some of the more familiar logos used.  most of those corporations have thousands or tens of thousands of products under a myriad of subsidiaries and distributors.
 
2014-04-02 09:24:04 AM
Hilton Head, S.C. - One Hot Mama restaurant - homemade ranch dressing - sooooooo good. If this place bottle it, they would be billllllionnaires
/not a plug
/do not usully eat ranch dressing
/extra lllll = extra $$$$$
 
2014-04-02 09:26:38 AM
I never liked ranch until I had it made from scratch.  That crap in a bottle is terrible.

It's still inferior to blue cheese for wings.
 
2014-04-02 09:33:48 AM
I only eat ranch dressing if I'm actually, you know, on a ranch.
 
2014-04-02 09:37:32 AM

Meatschool: SquiggsIN: Sorry it's big[img.fark.net image 850x533]

Neat and sad all at the same time.  Do you have a link to a larger version of that?


i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 09:42:59 AM

Nabb1: Ranch dressing is a vile substance.


Agreed.
When you get to hell it's served with Brussels sprouts....
 
2014-04-02 09:56:19 AM
I don't get the fascination. Don't get me wrong, I like ranch dressing. I'll eat it on salads, or dip raw veggies in it. The kids at the school where I work, however, drown EVERYTHING in ranch. It doesn't matter what we're having. Pizza? Drown it in ranch. Tator-tot hotdish, some vile noodle concoction, hamburgers, chicken, tacos, whatever. It doesn't matter. They immediately cover it in ranch dressing. It's disgusting.

As for wings and bleu cheese, I'm with Roc6783.
 
2014-04-02 09:57:19 AM
Danger Avoid Death:

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.

Renee's is great, and seems to be available all over Canada.  Big chunks of actual blue cheese. The Caesar is great too - I put it on my grilled cheese sandwiches.

www.renees.com
 
2014-04-02 10:16:25 AM

roc6783: Screw bleu cheese with anything, that crap is awful. Wings shouldn't be dipped in another sauce, that's bs.


Anyone from Buffalo knows you're wrong.

Wings go in blue cheese dressing. Preferably Rootie's.

http://www.wegmans.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?lang Id =-1&storeId=10052&catalogId=10002&productId=670031
 
2014-04-02 10:17:03 AM
Are you all stupid?

KRAFT ranch dressing is terrible.
WISHBONE ranch dressing is basically liquid paper with flecks of green dust in it.
HIDDEN VALLEY ranch dressing is like the nectar of the gods running down a hot college freshman's golden naked body and into your face awesome.

These are facts.  You can't disagree with facts.
 
2014-04-02 10:23:33 AM

IronJelly: Are you all stupid?

KRAFT ranch dressing is terrible.
WISHBONE ranch dressing is basically liquid paper with flecks of green dust in it.
HIDDEN VALLEY ranch dressing is like the nectar of the gods running down a hot college freshman's golden naked body and into your face awesome.

These are facts.  You can't disagree with facts.


And lowfat ranch is some unholy abomination.

Though I've used it to get breadcrumbs to adhere to fish.
 
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