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(NPR)   Americans are "floating in a pool" of ranch dressing. A delicious, delicious pool that goes great with everything from hot wings to pizza crust to french fries and is even better when mixed with ketchup   (npr.org) divider line 114
    More: Cool, ranch dressing, Americans, salad dresses, pizzas, ranches, Swiss Army, Steve Henson  
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4959 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2014 at 10:29 PM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



114 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-01 10:35:29 PM
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/4-1/2 cup of cold pressed extra virgin olive oil
1-2 cloves of garlic
salt
pepper
pick an herb - i like rosemary
smidge of sugar (optional)

shake it up - goes great with just about every leafy green - i recommend cutting up lacinato kale and massaging it into the leaves, then tossing some parmesan on top

to mix it up a bit, add some grey poupon and/or substitute lemon juice w/some good balsamic. if you use balsamic, i love throwing some feta in whatever i'm mixing up.

/Ranch is ass to me. YMMV.
 
2014-04-01 10:35:33 PM
Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.
 
2014-04-01 10:37:20 PM
Ranch dressing is a vile substance.
 
2014-04-01 10:39:42 PM
maxpictures.com

i31.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-01 10:40:43 PM
Ranch is one of those substances that is awful in the richest kind of way.  Even better when you add bacon.
 
2014-04-01 10:44:10 PM

Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.


Right there with ya.
 
2014-04-01 10:45:38 PM
I like fat free Ranch, but I also drink skim milk so that might be some of it. Roundy's French Onion dip on pretzel chips is the shiat though. //Fatty, unrepentant as of now.
 
2014-04-01 10:47:16 PM
Screw bleu cheese with anything, that crap is awful. Wings shouldn't be dipped in another sauce, that's bs.
 
2014-04-01 10:48:36 PM
That horrible crap they sell in the bottles has no business being called ranch dressing. I don't know what the hell they do to it to give it a longer shelf life, but I'm sure it involves human sacrifice and black candles.

Make your own. There are many recipes out there.

If you don't have time (and sometimes I don't) at the very least, get the package dressing and one of these:

i.ebayimg.com

I use this handy shaker container even for my homemade version.

Excuse me, hot wings are calling me for some reason.
 
2014-04-01 10:50:34 PM
Ranch is colloquially known around my friends as "stripper sauce". I've yet to know a stripper that didn't dump that shiat on everything they eat (except for THAT).
 
2014-04-01 10:52:31 PM
I'm happy that NPR covered the ingredients of Kraft's "ranch" dressing.
This country's popular food brands are farking disgusting.
 
2014-04-01 10:55:28 PM

roc6783: Screw bleu cheese with anything, that crap is awful. Wings shouldn't be dipped in another sauce, that's bs.


You'll forgive me if I don't value the advice of someone who drinks skim milk when it comes to delicious chunks of moldy fat.  Blue cheese on scorching hot wings is fantastic.
 
2014-04-01 10:57:50 PM

sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.


No one likes either of you ...
 
2014-04-01 10:58:04 PM
DAMMIT, GARZA!
 
2014-04-01 11:00:12 PM

bdub77: 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/4-1/2 cup of cold pressed extra virgin olive oil
1-2 cloves of garlic
salt
pepper
pick an herb - i like rosemary
smidge of sugar (optional)

shake it up - goes great with just about every leafy green - i recommend cutting up lacinato kale and massaging it into the leaves, then tossing some parmesan on top

to mix it up a bit, add some grey poupon and/or substitute lemon juice w/some good balsamic. if you use balsamic, i love throwing some feta in whatever i'm mixing up.

/Ranch is ass to me. YMMV.


Yum.
 
2014-04-01 11:01:20 PM
wing thread?

I prefer naked, fried, and facemelting hot... Keep the ranch and mold chnks away.

/I like my wings like I like my women?
 
2014-04-01 11:01:39 PM
Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.
 
2014-04-01 11:01:41 PM
@syrynxx - I accept your opinion, as disgusting as it is.
 
2014-04-01 11:03:23 PM
Mmm. Kranch.
 
2014-04-01 11:04:56 PM

The English Major: Mmm. Kranch.


You are just the worst.
 
2014-04-01 11:06:59 PM

Mark Ratner: Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.


I'll be stunned if you don't get some bites on that.

762/1091
 
2014-04-01 11:11:44 PM
I'm a total outlier. I'm American. I'm floating in nothing, other than maybe air? I don't particularly like ranch dressing, and typically avoid it. I've tried all variations in my years. I've had the commercially available brands, I've had various mixes, I've had made from scratch. Some of it is out right disgusting to me, some of it is palatable, but far from being preferred. Overall, it helps me understand those folks that find mayo to be gross. It also makes me understand cum pigs. If you don't know what that is, don't worry. Explore no further. You probably don't want to know what a cum pig is. Unless you're a closet cum pig. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. If you are a cum pig or closet cum pig, feel free to do some research. Same with ranch dressing and mayo.
 
2014-04-01 11:15:44 PM

HawgWild: sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.

No one likes either of you ...


okay, I'll give ya the 12 hours after, but small price to pay for the glory that is chunky blue cheese dipped hot wings.
 
2014-04-01 11:18:02 PM
Ranch is the new ketchup?!!? Pleaaase! Ranch has NOTHING on ketchup!
 
2014-04-01 11:22:58 PM
www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-04-01 11:28:52 PM
Yanno, I'm over wings.   Screw 'em, they're just not that great.  Tandoori barbecued chicken?  Hell yeah, I'll have that instead.
 
2014-04-01 11:32:51 PM

Thelyphthoric: Yanno, I'm over wings.   Screw 'em, they're just not that great.  Tandoori barbecued chicken?  Hell yeah, I'll have that instead.


You sound like a hipster. A fat one.

/I think ...
//but who am I to judge?
 
2014-04-01 11:35:04 PM
1/3 cup each mayonnaise, sour cream, and buttermilk
1/3 cup good blue cheese crumbles - I like Maytag blue or Roquefort
A tablespoon or so of lemon juice
A tablespoon plus a little more of either finely minced shallot or chive
A few grinds of fresh pepper or a pinch of good white pepper

Stir this together gently so that the crumbled cheese doesn't get destroyed. Then dress or dip to your hearts content. You can thank me later.
 
2014-04-01 11:36:24 PM

HawgWild: You sound like a hipster. A fat one.

/I think ...
//but who am I to judge?


Per my kids I'm way too geeky to be as cool as a hipster.

/Yeah I could lose a few pounds
//I said a few, I'm still under 200 dammit
 
2014-04-01 11:55:57 PM
Ranch dressing is awesome but it can get kind of old so it's good to mix it up.  If I get fries I like to mix a bit of ranch dressing with the ketchup and a pizza joint near here has started giving people the option of hot ranch (I forget what they mix in but it's good).
I'm also the kind of person where if I am at a place where I fill my own drink it's Barq's root beer with a bit of Cherry Coke or Coca-Cola and if they've got Pepsi products it's Mountain Dew and iced tea or Dew mixed with random sodas (orange, fruit punch).  I don't have a soda fountain at home so when I can take advantage I do.
I also am amused at the hate that people have for people who like ranch; it's funny to me that they think that they are better than me because of their choice in salad dressing or dipping sauce.
 
2014-04-02 12:08:39 AM
Jokes on you, I don't eat ranch dressing or ketchup.   Not really a fan of condiments in general.
 
2014-04-02 12:13:11 AM
The secret is to make your own olive-oil mayo w/a  high-powered immersion/stick blender.

/not a hipster
//stays away from inflammatory seed oils
 
2014-04-02 12:17:39 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 12:17:40 AM
cdn-usa.gagbay.com

Says all there is to say about ranch dressing.

/is a fatty too
//some shiat just ain't worth putting in your body.
 
2014-04-02 12:26:10 AM
I don't eat ranch dressing often, but it's my go-to if I'm having a salad that's more meal size than appetizer size.

I live near the I-81 corridor, so more often than not, that's a crispy chicken salad from Sheetz, which is sometimes lunch. For the uninitiated, it's a few chicken strips diced over a salad. The ranch works perfectly.

Damn, now I'll have to get that for lunch tomorrow.

Smaller salads I just dash some pepper on and forget the dressing.
 
2014-04-02 12:26:51 AM
Buddy's Pizza  Ranch.   Someone needs to figure that recipe out !  It's the best damn Ranch EVER.  And seen as how I live in Ca now and not Michigan  - I cannot get any Buddy's ranch.... WAhhhhh.
 
2014-04-02 12:28:13 AM
Jason: stahp.

/would you like some Miraconaise?
 
2014-04-02 12:28:50 AM

Lith: [cdn-usa.gagbay.com image 600x340]

Says all there is to say about ranch dressing.

/is a fatty too
//some shiat just ain't worth putting in your body.


Holy farking shiat that's a huge pizza. I couldn't eat half of that in a week.
 
2014-04-02 12:30:02 AM

Mark Ratner: Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.


18 year old scotch mixed with Mt Dew goes so well with that.  It's like a blowjob from an angel
 
2014-04-02 12:32:27 AM

Lith: [cdn-usa.gagbay.com image 600x340]

Says all there is to say about ranch dressing.

/is a fatty too
//some shiat just ain't worth putting in your body.


Man, I'd hit that with a bag of sugar, and follow the ants in.

1 gal 'Frank's Red Hot' Sauce

10 Lbs of salted butter

50 Lbs of chicken wings, soaked overnight in a brine, and then deep fried.

Melt butter, add sauce, smother chicken wings.
 
2014-04-02 12:35:29 AM

Mithiwithi: Lith: [cdn-usa.gagbay.com image 600x340]

Says all there is to say about ranch dressing.

/is a fatty too
//some shiat just ain't worth putting in your body.

Holy farking shiat that's a huge pizza. I couldn't eat half of that in a week.


I'm guessing that's bottle of ranch she? he? it's? opening, comes with a straw.
 
2014-04-02 12:36:42 AM

Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.


And we're done here
 
2014-04-02 12:38:42 AM

SquiggsIN: Thelyphthoric: Yanno, I'm over wings.   Screw 'em, they're just not that great.  Tandoori barbecued chicken?  Hell yeah, I'll have that instead.

Agreed.  Wings are easily the worst part of the bird and since I refuse to eat skin sort of a task to even eat for me.


Disagreed.  Chicken wings can be a great part of the chicken in much the same way that baby back ribs can be a great part of the pig.

But, coming from Pizza Hut, covered in red dye #2, with fake ranch dressing?  Not so much.
 
2014-04-02 12:40:13 AM

Smeggy Smurf: Mark Ratner: Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.

18 year old scotch mixed with Mt Dew goes so well with that.  It's like a blowjob from an angel


Regular Mountain Dew is just too syrupy for a good single malt. Diet is the way to go.

Garnish with Funyuns to taste.
 
2014-04-02 12:50:45 AM
ranch dressing is disgusting
 
2014-04-02 12:51:18 AM
www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk

/The Simpsons predicted it (again)
 
2014-04-02 12:57:21 AM
Oh I am all about ranch dressing. On wings, chicken nuggets, burgers...I cook it into ground beef that I then put over pasta alfredo with broccoli.

Not in chips though. I cannot abide Cruel Rank Doritos.
 
2014-04-02 01:18:59 AM
Real ranch dressing is good.

That mass produced self-stable soybean oil based abomination they sell at the store is not.
 
2014-04-02 01:30:05 AM
Ugh, hirrible stuff. Now, Thousand Island otoh...
 
2014-04-02 01:33:57 AM
Ranch dressing is Satan's semen.
 
2014-04-02 01:36:34 AM
ranch dressing is for losers
 
2014-04-02 01:45:30 AM
I eat ranch on a salad (either mixed with Frank's Red Hot, or some buffalo wing sauce) but it doesn't belong anywhere near wings!

/if you live near a GFS you can get 10lbs of fresh wings for $19.99.
//they had a huge box for $60 but I didn't look at how many lbs it was
 
2014-04-02 02:04:05 AM
When I was in junior high (early '70s), whenever I stayed over at my friend Candy's house, she'd make some kind of dip with a container of sour cream and a packet of Uncle Dan's, which was a dry dressing mix ( sort of like Lipton's onion soup mix).

Uncle Dan's was dill flavored, sort of, but sort of ranch-like. But this was before ranch dressing became hugely popular. And I don't eat the chemical cocktail that passes for most dressings and dips, since they started making them out of vegetable oil.

Does anyone else remember Uncle Dan's?
 
2014-04-02 02:33:15 AM
Mix  ketchup and ranch?  Subbie is a mutherfarker. And a barbarian without coolth.
 
2014-04-02 02:46:59 AM
Ranch dressing is looked down upon for two reasons. One: It is ubiquitous, which means there are as many crappy versions of it as there are good ones. Two:  It was invented by Americans and a lot of American cuisine is looked down upon. If the French had invented it then it would be considered one of the mother sauces and be revered amongst the culinary elite.
 
2014-04-02 03:15:05 AM

sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.


This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.
 
2014-04-02 03:37:13 AM

Chaide: sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.

This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.


You're right, Hidden Valley is crap. Marzetti's is good, but a little too salty sometimes for already salty buffalo wings. The best in my book is still the original:

img3.targetimg3.com

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.
 
2014-04-02 03:50:35 AM

Danger Avoid Death: Chaide: sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.

This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.

You're right, Hidden Valley is crap. Marzetti's is good, but a little too salty sometimes for already salty buffalo wings. The best in my book is still the original:

[img3.targetimg3.com image 410x410]

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.


Nice! I'm gonna have to keep my eye out for Bob's. I never noticed much of a saltiness to Marzetti, but I probably would in comparison with another solid dressing.

And I agree about refrigerating. They sell the good stuff in the coolers.
 
2014-04-02 03:52:20 AM
Unrepentant fatbody checking in. I love ranch dressing. Absolutely love it. There is a long list of foods that I only eat because they're a vessel for the dressel. Fries, French bread, ramen noodles, spicy garlic wings, cheesy breadsticks, pizza rolls...the list goes on. I'm quite certain it will kill me, but I'm a hedonist and a libertine at heart. I fully plan to meet the Grim Reaper with a full stomach, half a buzz on, and a raging hard-on. Come at me, braaargh....
 
2014-04-02 04:00:23 AM
Only because no one else would ever eat that crap.
 
2014-04-02 04:12:54 AM

MrHappyRotter: I'm a total outlier. I'm American. I'm floating in nothing, other than maybe air? I don't particularly like ranch dressing, and typically avoid it. I've tried all variations in my years. I've had the commercially available brands, I've had various mixes, I've had made from scratch. Some of it is out right disgusting to me, some of it is palatable, but far from being preferred. Overall, it helps me understand those folks that find mayo to be gross. It also makes me understand cum pigs. If you don't know what that is, don't worry. Explore no further. You probably don't want to know what a cum pig is. Unless you're a closet cum pig. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. If you are a cum pig or closet cum pig, feel free to do some research. Same with ranch dressing and mayo.


I figured I knew what a "cum pig" was.  Googled anyway and since not enough info was given I clicked GIS.  WOW, uh, whats the name for chicks that are into that activity?
 
2014-04-02 04:17:32 AM
meh.... I still prefer a nice balsamic vinaigrette or italian dressing on my salad... and keep any and all dressings the fark away from my pizza and wings or I will cut a biatch...
 
2014-04-02 04:21:06 AM

Chaide: Danger Avoid Death: Chaide: sno man: Starshines: Ranch dressing has no business near wings.

/Bleu cheese only, please.

Right there with ya.

This. Also, quality restaurant style Bleu Cheese like Marzetti. Not that Hidden Valley crap. I knew a good handful of people who thourhg they hated bleu cheese because the only kind they'd ever tried was Hidden Valley. They have been shown the light.

You're right, Hidden Valley is crap. Marzetti's is good, but a little too salty sometimes for already salty buffalo wings. The best in my book is still the original:

[img3.targetimg3.com image 410x410]

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.

Nice! I'm gonna have to keep my eye out for Bob's. I never noticed much of a saltiness to Marzetti, but I probably would in comparison with another solid dressing.

And I agree about refrigerating. They sell the good stuff in the coolers.


Bob's Bleu Cheese dressing is pretty good, but I might be a bit prejudiced because it's what I grew up with. We used to go to Bob's Big Boy in Burbank before going to the Pickwick Drive-in and I remember I would always save some Bleu Cheese dressing dressing for the fries. This was back in the 70's, and I haven't used ketchup on fries since; can't stand the stuff.

Incidentally, the Bob's here in Burbank still has car hop service on weekends, and boy does that bring back memories. (Two places I remember from my childhood where we had car hop service were Bob's and the old A&W drive-in -- yes the same A&W that makes the root beer.) So does Classic car Friday nights, but that's something for a whole other thread.
 
2014-04-02 04:46:37 AM

Mark Ratner: Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.


...Not trying to get around the filter, but simply just Sofa King Whee! Todd Did, right?
 
2014-04-02 06:05:12 AM

bdub77: pick an herb - i like rosemary


People that like rosemary ought to be sterilized.

/ok, maybe not
//shiat's nasty, though
 
2014-04-02 06:18:24 AM

Sid_6.7: Smeggy Smurf: Mark Ratner: Whenever I cook my steaks well done, I slather it in steak sauce with a dabble of ranch and ketchup. Sofa king good.

18 year old scotch mixed with Mt Dew goes so well with that.  It's like a blowjob from an angel

Regular Mountain Dew is just too syrupy for a good single malt. Diet is the way to go.

Garnish with Funyuns to taste.


NCSB:
I had a buddy back in the day accept a glass of blue label (or maybe it was green, whatever the super expensive one is...not a big fan myself) from a mutual friend. He dumped it in half a glass of pepsi and chugged it. The look of horror, confusion, and anger on my other friend's face was priceless. I laughed until I realized he was acually pretty pissed about it.
 
2014-04-02 06:26:19 AM
Since this looks like a thread where we all pretend we're too good for the dressings of the plebs, I'll vote for just plain olive oil. I love it on everything.
 
2014-04-02 06:35:14 AM
Looked up some recipes.  So it's basically a mixture of mayonnaise, sour cream and spices.  And that's if it's real.  I'm assuming if you buy it in a bottle you're buying a cheap oil at a mark-up.

If you need that shiat to make something taste good, I wouldn't question the decision to use ranch so much as what you're eating.
 
2014-04-02 06:36:03 AM
 
2014-04-02 06:44:35 AM
Ranch is gross.

It ruins everything it touches from buffalo chicken dip to salads.
 
2014-04-02 06:56:51 AM
"Clorox managed to add the right blend of preservatives to give the dressing a shelf life of approximately 150 days.  .."

That really puts me off. All I can think of now is ranch dressing tasting like bleach.

I have the same problem with Unilever (a soap co) owning Skippy peanut butter.

And Hershey bars being made in Mexico.
 
2014-04-02 07:01:08 AM

liam76: Ranch is gross.

It ruins everything it touches from buffalo chicken dip to salads.


Ranch and bleu cheese are equally disgusting to me and neither belongs anywhere near chicken.
/Bleu cheese is terrible and just overpowers anything it's mixed with.
//it tastes like mold
 
2014-04-02 07:16:40 AM

MrHappyRotter: I'm a total outlier. I'm American. I'm floating in nothing, other than maybe air? I don't particularly like ranch dressing, and typically avoid it. I've tried all variations in my years. I've had the commercially available brands, I've had various mixes, I've had made from scratch. Some of it is out right disgusting to me, some of it is palatable, but far from being preferred. Overall, it helps me understand those folks that find mayo to be gross. It also makes me understand cum pigs. If you don't know what that is, don't worry. Explore no further. You probably don't want to know what a cum pig is. Unless you're a closet cum pig. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. If you are a cum pig or closet cum pig, feel free to do some research. Same with ranch dressing and mayo.


This has got to be the ultimate 'stop liking what I don't like'.   If you like a very common food item that I don't like you must be into deviant sex!

I mean I'm not a huge ranch dressing fan either but Jesus. I don't care for smoked cheese but I don't think that people who like it are into fisting or something.
 
2014-04-02 07:31:08 AM
No "Franch" guy?  or did I just miss him?
 
2014-04-02 08:01:27 AM
Ranch dressing falls into the same category as Paula Deen eating mouthfuls of butter, or a fat man eating mayonnaise with a spoon.  It now makes me queasy.
 
2014-04-02 08:08:47 AM
How many cysts do you think they need to lance to make a bottle of ranch dressing?
 
2014-04-02 08:16:54 AM

Egoy3k: MrHappyRotter: I'm a total outlier. I'm American. I'm floating in nothing, other than maybe air? I don't particularly like ranch dressing, and typically avoid it. I've tried all variations in my years. I've had the commercially available brands, I've had various mixes, I've had made from scratch. Some of it is out right disgusting to me, some of it is palatable, but far from being preferred. Overall, it helps me understand those folks that find mayo to be gross. It also makes me understand cum pigs. If you don't know what that is, don't worry. Explore no further. You probably don't want to know what a cum pig is. Unless you're a closet cum pig. Nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea. If you are a cum pig or closet cum pig, feel free to do some research. Same with ranch dressing and mayo.

This has got to be the ultimate 'stop liking what I don't like'.   If you like a very common food item that I don't like you must be into deviant sex!

I mean I'm not a huge ranch dressing fan either but Jesus. I don't care for smoked cheese but I don't think that people who like it are into fisting or something.


Reading comprehension. Clearly it's not one of your strengths.
 
2014-04-02 08:26:18 AM

robrr2003: How many cysts do you think they need to lance to make a bottle of ranch dressing?


I am stealing that.
 
2014-04-02 08:27:19 AM
Gawd, you behemoths. Buffalo chicken wings are supposed to be roasted, not fried. They're not supposed to have breading on them. And you don't dip the chicken in the bleu cheese dip; that's for the celery you use to put out the fire between chicken wings.

Also, chicken wings are to be eaten at a bar, with beer. It's not a meal entree.
 
2014-04-02 08:51:48 AM

SquiggsIN: MadAzza: When I was in junior high (early '70s), whenever I stayed over at my friend Candy's house, she'd make some kind of dip with a container of sour cream and a packet of Uncle Dan's, which was a dry dressing mix ( sort of like Lipton's onion soup mix).

Uncle Dan's was dill flavored, sort of, but sort of ranch-like. But this was before ranch dressing became hugely popular. And I don't eat the chemical cocktail that passes for most dressings and dips, since they started making them out of vegetable oil.

Does anyone else remember Uncle Dan's?

[img.fark.net image 300x300]


Well ain't this place a geographical oddity.
 
2014-04-02 08:55:45 AM

mokinokaro: overpowers anything it's mixed with


That.  I like bleu cheese, but I'd like to actually taste some of the food I've put it on.  So I avoid it.
 
2014-04-02 08:59:20 AM
As a culinary artist, I have nothing to say to the plebeian masses gathered here.
I've seen you all parked at McDonald's on occasion.
 
2014-04-02 09:09:11 AM

SquiggsIN: Sorry it's big[img.fark.net image 850x533]


Neat and sad all at the same time.  Do you have a link to a larger version of that?
 
2014-04-02 09:24:04 AM
Hilton Head, S.C. - One Hot Mama restaurant - homemade ranch dressing - sooooooo good. If this place bottle it, they would be billllllionnaires
/not a plug
/do not usully eat ranch dressing
/extra lllll = extra $$$$$
 
2014-04-02 09:26:38 AM
I never liked ranch until I had it made from scratch.  That crap in a bottle is terrible.

It's still inferior to blue cheese for wings.
 
2014-04-02 09:33:48 AM
I only eat ranch dressing if I'm actually, you know, on a ranch.
 
2014-04-02 09:37:32 AM

Meatschool: SquiggsIN: Sorry it's big[img.fark.net image 850x533]

Neat and sad all at the same time.  Do you have a link to a larger version of that?


i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 09:42:59 AM

Nabb1: Ranch dressing is a vile substance.


Agreed.
When you get to hell it's served with Brussels sprouts....
 
2014-04-02 09:56:19 AM
I don't get the fascination. Don't get me wrong, I like ranch dressing. I'll eat it on salads, or dip raw veggies in it. The kids at the school where I work, however, drown EVERYTHING in ranch. It doesn't matter what we're having. Pizza? Drown it in ranch. Tator-tot hotdish, some vile noodle concoction, hamburgers, chicken, tacos, whatever. It doesn't matter. They immediately cover it in ranch dressing. It's disgusting.

As for wings and bleu cheese, I'm with Roc6783.
 
2014-04-02 09:57:19 AM
Danger Avoid Death:

As far as any of these creamy salad dressings go, whether they be ranch or blue (or bleu) cheese, a good rule of thumb is that the best ones, like Marzetti's or Bob's, are sold refrigerated. Don't trust any of that artificial preservative laden crap that sits on a room temperature shelf for weeks; that stuff is probably one or two chemical processes away from being plastic.

Renee's is great, and seems to be available all over Canada.  Big chunks of actual blue cheese. The Caesar is great too - I put it on my grilled cheese sandwiches.

www.renees.com
 
2014-04-02 10:16:25 AM

roc6783: Screw bleu cheese with anything, that crap is awful. Wings shouldn't be dipped in another sauce, that's bs.


Anyone from Buffalo knows you're wrong.

Wings go in blue cheese dressing. Preferably Rootie's.

http://www.wegmans.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?lang Id =-1&storeId=10052&catalogId=10002&productId=670031
 
2014-04-02 10:17:03 AM
Are you all stupid?

KRAFT ranch dressing is terrible.
WISHBONE ranch dressing is basically liquid paper with flecks of green dust in it.
HIDDEN VALLEY ranch dressing is like the nectar of the gods running down a hot college freshman's golden naked body and into your face awesome.

These are facts.  You can't disagree with facts.
 
2014-04-02 10:23:33 AM

IronJelly: Are you all stupid?

KRAFT ranch dressing is terrible.
WISHBONE ranch dressing is basically liquid paper with flecks of green dust in it.
HIDDEN VALLEY ranch dressing is like the nectar of the gods running down a hot college freshman's golden naked body and into your face awesome.

These are facts.  You can't disagree with facts.


And lowfat ranch is some unholy abomination.

Though I've used it to get breadcrumbs to adhere to fish.
 
2014-04-02 10:43:44 AM

LazyMedia: Gawd, you behemoths. Buffalo chicken wings are supposed to be roasted, not fried. They're not supposed to have breading on them. And you don't dip the chicken in the bleu cheese dip; that's for the celery you use to put out the fire between chicken wings.

Also, chicken wings are to be eaten at a bar, with beer. It's not a meal entree.


This
 
2014-04-02 10:45:50 AM

SquiggsIN: BlackMtnMan: Mix  ketchup and ranch?  Subbie is a mutherfarker. And a barbarian without coolth.

there's only one thing that should be pink when you eat it and it isn't a combination of white and red condiments.


Steak?
 
2014-04-02 10:48:22 AM

IronJelly: Are you all stupid?

KRAFT ranch dressing is terrible.
WISHBONE ranch dressing is basically liquid paper with flecks of green dust in it.
HIDDEN VALLEY ranch dressing is like the nectar of the gods running down a hot college freshman's golden naked body and into your face awesome.

These are facts.  You can't disagree with facts.


I always thought all of those tasted weird. I prefer Ken's Buttermilk Ranch (or the Wegmans rebottled version).
 
2014-04-02 10:51:28 AM

LazyMedia: Gawd, you behemoths. Buffalo chicken wings are supposed to be roasted, not fried. They're not supposed to have breading on them. And you don't dip the chicken in the bleu cheese dip; that's for the celery you use to put out the fire between chicken wings.

Also, chicken wings are to be eaten at a bar, with beer. It's not a meal entree.


Uh... what? I'm from Buffalo and you're full of shiat. Chicken wings have ALWAYS been fried and have ALWAYS been dipped in blue cheese. They are a meal. You get a bowl of fries with them to dip in the hot sauce/blue cheese aftersex leftovers.

/good call on the breading though. Breaded wings are KFC, not chicken wings.
 
2014-04-02 10:52:36 AM

LazyMedia: Gawd, you behemoths. Buffalo chicken wings are supposed to be roasted, not fried. They're not supposed to have breading on them. And you don't dip the chicken in the bleu cheese dip; that's for the celery you use to put out the fire between chicken wings.

Also, chicken wings are to be eaten at a bar, with beer. It's not a meal entree.


Unless you steam the wings first to render off some of that fat, roasting wings is going to set off all the fire alarms on your floor. Anyway they are farking buffalo wings do what you want.

As for ranch, it's perfectly fine, in moderation, and that's the problem, America's problem with obesity has nothing to do with what they eat and rather how much they eat.

/Make my own from Buttermilk and Mayo and various spices
 
2014-04-02 11:21:54 AM
I dunno what it is, I love all kinds of cheese, including stinky cheese, but won't touch anything bleu.
 
2014-04-02 11:26:06 AM

mod3072: I don't get the fascination. Don't get me wrong, I like ranch dressing. I'll eat it on salads, or dip raw veggies in it. The kids at the school where I work, however, drown EVERYTHING in ranch. It doesn't matter what we're having. Pizza? Drown it in ranch. Tator-tot hotdish, some vile noodle concoction, hamburgers, chicken, tacos, whatever. It doesn't matter. They immediately cover it in ranch dressing. It's disgusting.

As for wings and bleu cheese, I'm with Roc6783.


I think regionalism plays a part.  I'm from southern New England and I had a high school buddy that went to Clemson for college and came back putting ranch on everything.  When I saw him dipping his pizza in ranch I told him I was reconsidering our friendship.  So then he moved back down to SC.  True story.
 
2014-04-02 01:51:30 PM

Bullseyed: IronJelly: Are you all stupid?

KRAFT ranch dressing is terrible.
WISHBONE ranch dressing is basically liquid paper with flecks of green dust in it.
HIDDEN VALLEY ranch dressing is like the nectar of the gods running down a hot college freshman's golden naked body and into your face awesome.

These are facts.  You can't disagree with facts.

I always thought all of those tasted weird. I prefer Ken's Buttermilk Ranch (or the Wegmans rebottled version).



....welcome to being a gray unreadable farkie along with the other people i identified as terrible people.   You're the same color as the pedophile from last week and the guy who wants to forgive Justin Bieber.
 
2014-04-02 01:57:48 PM

Thelyphthoric: Yanno, I'm over wings.   Screw 'em, they're just not that great.  Tandoori barbecued chicken?  Hell yeah, I'll have that instead.


I don't understand the appeal of tondoori chicken. Compared to everything else available at Indian food joints, it is just bland. Heck, compared to lots of other cuisines, it is just bland.

/stoplikingwhatidontlike.jpg
 
2014-04-02 02:44:13 PM

McGrits: Thelyphthoric: Yanno, I'm over wings.   Screw 'em, they're just not that great.  Tandoori barbecued chicken?  Hell yeah, I'll have that instead.

I don't understand the appeal of tondoori chicken. Compared to everything else available at Indian food joints, it is just bland. Heck, compared to lots of other cuisines, it is just bland.

/stoplikingwhatidontlike.jpg


Point taken.  I like it with some spicy lamb vindaloo as a contrast.
 
2014-04-02 03:10:12 PM
What the hell is "Tondoori" food?  Tondoori sounds like some Star Trek shiat.
 
2014-04-02 03:47:09 PM

IronJelly: What the hell is "Tondoori" food?  Tondoori sounds like some Star Trek shiat.


An Indian (dot) chicken dish marinated in a yogurt sauce and baked in a tondoori oven.

It is bland food, especially when compared to Indian curry dishes. It is even more bland than non-curry dishes.

It is popular with many Americans due to its blandness.
 
2014-04-02 03:53:26 PM

McGrits: IronJelly: What the hell is "Tondoori" food?  Tondoori sounds like some Star Trek shiat.

An Indian (dot) chicken dish marinated in a yogurt sauce and baked in a tondoori oven.

It is bland food, especially when compared to Indian curry dishes. It is even more bland than non-curry dishes.

It is popular with many Americans due to its blandness.


Curry isn't actually a thing.  It's just westerner for 'spicy food' which being in the westerner dialect means that it is anything that has more heat than frozen sour cream.
 
2014-04-02 04:13:05 PM
Ranch with Buffalo Wings?

Heathens!
 
2014-04-02 04:20:17 PM
mikemil828:

Unless you steam the wings first to render off some of that fat, roasting wings is going to set off all the fire alarms on your floor. Anyway they are farking buffalo wings do what you want.


Actually, keep the oven temp under about 440F, and they won't.  I roast wings at 425 for 45 minutes, and they come out almost as crispy as fried ones.

Fried ones are still the best -- but sometimes I like to pretend I'm making them healthier....
(Also deep frying makes more of a mess and Mrs Ipxodi hates cleaning the stovetop.)
 
2014-04-02 04:45:22 PM
Most vile food thread ever.
 
2014-04-02 05:17:15 PM

Egoy3k: McGrits: IronJelly: What the hell is "Tondoori" food?  Tondoori sounds like some Star Trek shiat.

An Indian (dot) chicken dish marinated in a yogurt sauce and baked in a tondoori oven.

It is bland food, especially when compared to Indian curry dishes. It is even more bland than non-curry dishes.

It is popular with many Americans due to its blandness.

Curry isn't actually a thing.  It's just westerner for 'spicy food' which being in the westerner dialect means that it is anything that has more heat than frozen sour cream.


An Indian born coworker told me curry meant something similar to sauce. So when I say non-curry I refer to dishes that have little to no liquid. No vindaloos or masala and the like.
 
2014-04-02 05:42:00 PM

McGrits: Egoy3k: McGrits: IronJelly: What the hell is "Tondoori" food?  Tondoori sounds like some Star Trek shiat.

An Indian (dot) chicken dish marinated in a yogurt sauce and baked in a tondoori oven.

It is bland food, especially when compared to Indian curry dishes. It is even more bland than non-curry dishes.

It is popular with many Americans due to its blandness.

Curry isn't actually a thing.  It's just westerner for 'spicy food' which being in the westerner dialect means that it is anything that has more heat than frozen sour cream.

An Indian born coworker told me curry meant something similar to sauce. So when I say non-curry I refer to dishes that have little to no liquid. No vindaloos or masala and the like.


I always thought curry was sort a generic way to say blended spices.  Typically it's in a sauce form.

There are lots of different types of currys.
 
2014-04-02 07:11:38 PM

Danger Avoid Death: That horrible crap they sell in the bottles has no business being called ranch dressing. I don't know what the hell they do to it to give it a longer shelf life, but I'm sure it involves human sacrifice and black candles.

Make your own. There are many recipes out there.

If you don't have time (and sometimes I don't) at the very least, get the package dressing and one of these:

[i.ebayimg.com image 225x300]

I use this handy shaker container even for my homemade version.

Excuse me, hot wings are calling me for some reason.


Yeah, all the bottled stuff anymore tastes too sweet and like flat mayo.

I think they cut back on spices, it lost it's zesty-ness.

/Anyone know how to make the cool ranch flavor
 
2014-04-02 07:20:46 PM
This shiat will get you laid.  Really.

BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP
Makes about 4 cups

It's really hard to mess this up.  Proportions and cooking time don't really matter.  Just be sure to use Frank's Original Red Hot sauce.

8oz Cream Cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup Kraft Original Ranch Dressing & Dip
  (Marie's Creamy Ranch Dressing is good too)
1/2 cup Frank's Red Hot Original Pepper Sauce (must be Original)
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 cup Shredded Mozzarella Cheese (reserve a pinch for topping)
2 cans (12.5 oz each) White Meat Chicken, shredded
  (or about 1.5 cups leftover rotisserie chicken)

Preheat oven to 375F.  Lightly grease the sides of a 9 inch casserole dish or 8x8 inch cake pan.

In a mixing bowl, whisk cream cheese with a fork until soft and then slowly beat in Ranch and Frank's in order, a little bit at a time, until well mixed.  Stir in the black pepper, cheese and shredded chicken.  Spread evenly in baking dish.  Top sparingly with a few sprinkles of reserved cheese.  (Don't use too much or it will make a frustratingly impenetrable crust after browning.)  Bake 20-30 minutes until bubbly and cheese is browned.  Let rest 10 minutes before serving hot with celery and carrot sticks, Frito scoops, tortilla chips, toast crackers, or toasted baguette slices.  Purists will expect blue cheese dressing on the side for dipping veggies.

Leftovers (there likely won't be any) are good cold on lightly toasted sourdough bread with lettuce and sliced tomatoes.

-- (adapted from the Family Dollar recipe, which gives options for every farking ingredient.  This is the winning combination.)
 
2014-04-02 07:25:25 PM

shortymac: Danger Avoid Death: That horrible crap they sell in the bottles has no business being called ranch dressing. I don't know what the hell they do to it to give it a longer shelf life, but I'm sure it involves human sacrifice and black candles.

Make your own. There are many recipes out there.

If you don't have time (and sometimes I don't) at the very least, get the package dressing and one of these:

[i.ebayimg.com image 225x300]

I use this handy shaker container even for my homemade version.

Excuse me, hot wings are calling me for some reason.

Yeah, all the bottled stuff anymore tastes too sweet and like flat mayo.

I think they cut back on spices, it lost it's zesty-ness.

/Anyone know how to make the cool ranch flavor


I have no idea.  But there is a local restaurant here that has awesome ranch.  Very zesty.

Never had anything like it.
 
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