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(The Atlantic)   "What eventually made him feel ready was practicing orgasmic meditation, which entails stroking a woman's clitoris for 15 minutes"   (theatlantic.com) divider line 147
    More: Interesting, Lists of people by belief, sexual abstinence, American Journal of Public Health, sexual intercourses, sexual surrogate  
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14730 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2014 at 12:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



147 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-01 10:49:29 PM  
I'm actually pretty good at this orgasmic meditation, except that I use my vagina, not a woman's clitoris.  And I've condensed the process to 30 seconds, because, hey, I'm efficient.
 
2014-04-01 10:57:25 PM  
I know how this guy feels. Getting to know your clitoris is one of the most important things you can do in any relationship.

Sometimes I like to lay down with my clitoris. I put a nice pillow down, and invite the clitoris in. The clitoris can sometimes be shy, but there are ways to entice it. I've found the clitoris has a fond affinity for peanut butter and watching old episodes of Designing Women. Gentle stroking ensues.

Occasionally things get out of hand and the clitoris gets unruly. Do NOT punch the clitoris, you will only make it angry and it will begin releasing a caustic substance that burns the hands and mouth. The key is to soften the mood. It seems to enjoy the fresh scent of Glade Plug-in Garden Fresh Lavender. Do not attempt to use real lavender.

Once you have subdued the clitoris with gentle stroking, the key is to very quickly lift up on the clitoris until you feel a metallic *click*. You have reached Stage Two. Next I'm told you'll want to find a large shrubbery. One that looks nice, and is not too expensive. I would go on but I've not yet gotten to Stage Two, I will post my experiences when I have the chance.
 
2014-04-01 11:08:53 PM  

bdub77: I would go on but I've not yet gotten to Stage Two,


Spoiler:  It involves steel wool and plaster-of-Paris.
 
2014-04-01 11:31:57 PM  
Obligitory -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5U-YT-mRmI

I'm singing along. Please join me.
 
2014-04-01 11:52:40 PM  
So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.
 
2014-04-02 12:04:39 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.
 
2014-04-02 12:12:21 AM  
You do not lose your virginity when you have oral sex.
 
2014-04-02 12:15:51 AM  
1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com
 
2014-04-02 12:16:26 AM  

JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.


Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.
 
2014-04-02 12:16:26 AM  
There were far too many numbers in that article to maintain my chubber while reading it.  Mr. Happy does not like reading numbers.
 
2014-04-02 12:16:42 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


Maybe she wants you to train her.
 
2014-04-02 12:21:32 AM  

fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.


That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s
 
2014-04-02 12:21:36 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


Awesome. There are plenty of guys who think that is the entire fun of it. You should make friends with those guys because the moment they lose interest is the moment your interest begins.
 
2014-04-02 12:22:40 AM  
Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?
 
2014-04-02 12:23:17 AM  
How to train your virgin
 
2014-04-02 12:23:18 AM  

duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s



Funny, typically a female virgin is considered unbroken.
 
2014-04-02 12:24:08 AM  
He flicked the clit.
 
2014-04-02 12:24:09 AM  
Started 21, stopped 37.
16 years of sex is long enough

Didn't bother to get married or have kids and its all ok with me.
 
2014-04-02 12:25:06 AM  

worlddan: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

Awesome. There are plenty of guys who think that is the entire fun of it. You should make friends with those guys because the moment they lose interest is the moment your interest begins.


There's a village in India where the husbands hire a man for this. Because they think it's a dirty job.

/trust me I'm an expert
//I did a report on this in school once
 
2014-04-02 12:25:34 AM  
It's hard to imagine an article more dull.
 
2014-04-02 12:33:37 AM  
fta "I think I had a super-strong first year of sex," McDorman says, putting on his helmet. "I don't regret any of it. I'm learning a ton and it keeps getting better."

Safety first
 
2014-04-02 12:33:46 AM  

worlddan: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


Funny, typically a female virgin is considered unbroken.


You're a prize to deflower when you're young; you're too broken to deflower when you're older. If you've at any point had more sex than the man you're currently involved with, you're a slut. This sounds like a reasonable set of requirements that has in no way negatively impacted the lives of anyone ever.
 
2014-04-02 12:34:01 AM  

Rand's lacy underwear: Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?


Well, can you rub-a-chub for that long? Might need some kind of lubricant but it's entirely doable.
 
2014-04-02 12:34:12 AM  

fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.


Glad to see your ego made it out intact.
 
2014-04-02 12:34:16 AM  
<I>What eventually made him feel ready was practicing orgasmic meditation, which entails stroking a woman's clitoris for 15 minutes</I>

Oh, you mean foreplay?
 
2014-04-02 12:37:12 AM  
I like playing with clits

sue me
 
2014-04-02 12:37:22 AM  
So, anyone else take the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test? Seemed pretty accurate for me.

Your score: 86 you have severe social phobia.
 
2014-04-02 12:37:25 AM  
Mash down the Atari controller button real good.
 
2014-04-02 12:38:01 AM  

Rand's lacy underwear: Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?


Put up with it?  I'd pay for that shiat.
 
2014-04-02 12:41:00 AM  
img.photobucket.com

Came for Jay, finding I'm having to do it myself.
-J-
 
2014-04-02 12:41:09 AM  

bdub77: I know how this guy feels. Getting to know your clitoris is one of the most important things you can do in any relationship.

Sometimes I like to lay down with my clitoris. I put a nice pillow down, and invite the clitoris in. The clitoris can sometimes be shy, but there are ways to entice it. I've found the clitoris has a fond affinity for peanut butter and watching old episodes of Designing Women. Gentle stroking ensues.

Occasionally things get out of hand and the clitoris gets unruly. Do NOT punch the clitoris, you will only make it angry and it will begin releasing a caustic substance that burns the hands and mouth. The key is to soften the mood. It seems to enjoy the fresh scent of Glade Plug-in Garden Fresh Lavender. Do not attempt to use real lavender.

Once you have subdued the clitoris with gentle stroking, the key is to very quickly lift up on the clitoris until you feel a metallic *click*. You have reached Stage Two. Next I'm told you'll want to find a large shrubbery. One that looks nice, and is not too expensive. I would go on but I've not yet gotten to Stage Two, I will post my experiences when I have the chance.


thank you for this educational look at how the clitoris works. i can't wait to practice your technique.
 
2014-04-02 12:45:07 AM  
The vagina is like a musical instrument for me and I play it like some famous violinist would play a Stradivarius.
I'm a vagina virtuoso.
 
2014-04-02 12:46:26 AM  

Skleenar: I'm actually pretty good at this orgasmic meditation, except that I use my vagina, not a woman's clitoris.  And I've condensed the process to 30 seconds, because, hey, I'm efficient.


You go girl!
 
2014-04-02 12:46:39 AM  
"I think I had a super-strong first year of sex,"
 
2014-04-02 12:51:02 AM  
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com

"What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy."
 
2014-04-02 12:51:50 AM  

duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?
 
2014-04-02 12:56:12 AM  
How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?
 
2014-04-02 01:01:22 AM  

Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?


content8.flixster.com

Instant section eight.
 
2014-04-02 01:02:19 AM  

gadian: Rand's lacy underwear: Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?

Put up with it?  I'd pay for that shiat.


What she said. If a guy knows what he's doing, that is extremely pleasurable and I can usually scream loudly to the invisible sky wizard a couple of times.
 
2014-04-02 01:05:41 AM  
This is the penultimate first world problem.
 
2014-04-02 01:11:59 AM  

ShatteredMinds: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?


A Duggar crotchfruit?
 
2014-04-02 01:13:08 AM  
No it's okay. Just take a step towards the clitoris. Don't be hesitant about it. If you're hesitant about it you'll scare it. Just take a step towards it like you've done this a million times. Okay great, great. Now that you're closer just look at it. Take a good look at it. It's not scary at all huh? It's pretty cute even! Now I want you to reach out and just touch it. No no we have to do this. Just put out one finger and just lightly stroke it. Well, just sort of think of it like a lightswitch. Just one finger up and down. Stop reaching for it so slowly. Don't be hesitant like I said. If you're hesitant it's going to think you don't like it. Then it'll go back and hide. OH! Good good! Yes exactly. You have to walk up to the clitoris and establish a hierarchy early on. You have to say "I am the alpha-clitoris" or you'll never have its respect. Now what? Like I said, sort of like a lightswitch. You need to be somewhat forceful with it but tender. Just up and down. Yes yes. Now that you have some comfort interacting with the clitoris feel free to get some more fingers on it. You are building trust with the clitoris. The clitoris is saying that it understands that you just want to be friends with it. Ooo yes exactly. Once you, oh my, once you have this trust you can... yeah you can move more swiftly. ... oh wow... whoo... Okay now stop for a minute. I think you and the clitoris are on the foundations of a great relationship. I say we put the collar on the clitoris and you can take it for a walk outside.
 
2014-04-02 01:19:53 AM  

Fista-Phobia: Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?



Instant section eight.


Thanks for reminding me. I havent watched fmj in far too long. Its on the playlist for tomorrow.
 
2014-04-02 01:22:00 AM  

ShatteredMinds: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?


i172.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-02 01:27:48 AM  

rev. dave: Started 21, stopped 37.
16 years of sex is long enough


Geez, I hope you had a lot of lube...
 
2014-04-02 01:31:46 AM  

SeaMan Stainz: Fista-Phobia: Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?

Instant section eight.

Thanks for reminding me. I havent watched fmj in far too long. Its on the playlist for tomorrow.


Agreed.

The what?
 
2014-04-02 01:34:17 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 01:42:57 AM  

Porous Horace: The vagina is like a musical instrument for me and I play it like some famous violinist would play a Stradivarius.
I'm a vagina virtuoso.


Bravo good sir!

www.endorexpress.net
 
2014-04-02 01:48:24 AM  
Jim Jeffries explaining proper clitoris technique:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNRHPr7Gabk">https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=rNRHPr7Gabk
(clit bit starts at 6:10)
 
2014-04-02 01:51:50 AM  

Porous Horace: The vagina is like a musical instrument for me and I play it like some famous violinist would play a Stradivarius.
I'm a vagina virtuoso.


Yo mama's so huge, her vagina virtuoso is Yo-Yo Ma
 
2014-04-02 02:13:22 AM  
14 minutes to find it
1 minute to demonstrate you didn't really find it
 
2014-04-02 02:21:44 AM  

CigaretteSmokingMan: ShatteredMinds: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?

[i172.photobucket.com image 400x240]


Good answer, and true too.
 
2014-04-02 02:22:42 AM  
From the folds of her gown, she lifted a lady bidness about fifteen centimeters on a side. She turned it and Paul saw that one side was open - black and oddly frightening. Paul slowly put his hand into the box. He first felt a sense of cold as the blackness closed around his hand, then slick flesh against his fingers and a prickling as though his hand were asleep...
"What's in the box?"
"Pain." He felt increased tingling in his hand, pressed his lips tightly together. How could this be a test? he wondered. The tingling became an itch... The itch became the faintest burning... It mounted slowly: heat upon heat upon heat... . The burning! The burning! He thought he could feel skin curling black on that agonized hand, the flesh crisping and dropping away until only charred bones remained.
It stopped! As though a switch had been turned off, the pain stopped... "Take your hand from the box, young human, and look at it." He fought down an aching shiver, stared at the lightless void where his hand seemed to remain of its own volition. Memory of pain inhibited every movement. Reason told him he would withdraw a blackened stump from that box. "Do it!" she snapped. He jerked his hand from the box, stared at it astonished. Not a mark. No sign of agony on the flesh. He held up the hand, turned it, flexed the fingers. "Pain by nerve induction," she said. "Can't go around maiming potential humans. There're those who'd give a pretty for the secret of this box, though."
 
2014-04-02 02:24:29 AM  
Many women prefer vaginal stimulation.

That is all.

Take your height and her height.  If the difference is the length of your penis, that's a good poundin'

I have scientifically proven this and there is a joke here somewhere.
 
2014-04-02 02:29:15 AM  
White_Scarf_Syndrome:

Take your height and her height.  If the difference is the length of your penis, that's a good poundin'

Hmm.  I am only a foot taller than my wife, so my dick is way longer than our height difference.  Is there any hope for us?
 
2014-04-02 02:41:57 AM  

Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?


Would you believe that I just spent all of last weekend at a conference devoted to exactly this? That I - and 500 of my closest friends - got to witness a live, uncensored demonstration of the technique? Aside from the AV crew I was working for, most everyone I met there talked about stroking orgasms the way Kirk Cameron talks about Jesus.
 
2014-04-02 02:52:59 AM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: Many women prefer vaginal stimulation.

That is all.

Take your height and her height.  If the difference is the length of your penis, that's a good poundin'

I have scientifically proven this and there is a joke here somewhere.


about 90% of the clitoris is stimulated from within the vagina. wraps urethra, behind Gspot then Aspot

~did not attend seminar

~~ made up statistic but pretty darn close. clit is about 6 inches long?
 
2014-04-02 02:54:44 AM  

worlddan: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

Awesome. There are plenty of guys who think that is the entire fun of it. You should make friends with those guys because the moment they lose interest is the moment your interest begins.


Ok.
On the flip side, how many ladies feel comfortable enough to 'train' a guy? Vs how many expect him to know what he us doing and get disappointed when he doesn't and assume he's not a keeper?


It seems that people on both sides of the fence don't like to 'train', but I'm interested in what the ladies have to add about this.


/insert obligatory jpg of male vs. female switches
 
2014-04-02 03:05:26 AM  
I don't understand how that clitoris rubbing was supposed to help him or increase his confidence.
Sounds like some pseudo-feminist pussy-on-a-pedestal garbage
 
2014-04-02 03:08:07 AM  
Resident Muslim:
Ok.
On the flip side, how many ladies feel comfortable enough to 'train' a guy? Vs how many expect him to know what he us doing and get disappointed when he doesn't and assume he's not a keeper?



7.
There were nine but two of them turned out to be lesbians and are they are enjoying a new life together
 
2014-04-02 03:08:26 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: I don't understand how that clitoris rubbing was supposed to help him or increase his confidence.
Sounds like some pseudo-feminist pussy-on-a-pedestal garbage


But it worked, God-is-a-Taco. "Supposed" is not in play here.
 
2014-04-02 03:13:32 AM  

Rambino: White_Scarf_Syndrome:

Take your height and her height.  If the difference is the length of your penis, that's a good poundin'

Hmm.  I am only a foot taller than my wife, so my dick is way longer than our height difference.  Is there any hope for us?


At least you're taller than your wife!
 
2014-04-02 03:15:38 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: I don't understand how that clitoris rubbing was supposed to help him or increase his confidence.
Sounds like some pseudo-feminist pussy-on-a-pedestal garbage


I didn't read the whole article but it said he went off fooling around in college. Maybe it's too get him used to touching a woman enough so he makes it in?
 
2014-04-02 03:30:39 AM  

Wangiss: God-is-a-Taco: I don't understand how that clitoris rubbing was supposed to help him or increase his confidence.
Sounds like some pseudo-feminist pussy-on-a-pedestal garbage

But it worked, God-is-a-Taco. "Supposed" is not in play here.


Just don't even bother.  Every post I can recall from him is very angry about the vagina.
 
2014-04-02 03:36:31 AM  

duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


Will hate myself in the morning, but why not?

How broken?  Sexual abuse, self-esteem issues, body issues, social anxiety and finally, vestibulitis.
 
2014-04-02 03:38:46 AM  
I went to high school and college with one of the guys in this article, so I am getting a kick... actually, no. I'm farking horrified and would do anything to return to a world where I hadn't yet been tricked into imagining how he lost his virginity.

/CSB
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-04-02 03:47:58 AM  
media.giphy.com
 
2014-04-02 04:10:23 AM  

DubtodaIll: This is the penultimate first world problem.


Really? So sex is so trivial that nobody should care if they are or aren't getting any? I guess that explains why it's such a minor subject of art, and why most people don't really put any effort into getting laid. I mean, most single people spend their free time on hobbies and not going out and trying to "get some", right? And obviously only RICH, COMFORTABLE people care about sex. That's why all those third world countries have plummetting populations, poor people are too busy trying to survive!
 
2014-04-02 04:32:20 AM  

DubtodaIll: This is the penultimate first world problem.


What's the ultimate first world problem, then?
 
2014-04-02 04:39:09 AM  

feffer: DubtodaIll: This is the penultimate first world problem.

What's the ultimate first world problem, then?


thechive.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-02 05:09:17 AM  
Lost it at 21, getting a kick, etc.
 
2014-04-02 05:43:51 AM  
Didn't loose mine till 30.  I'm an average guy who had low self esteem so that's why it took so long.  Even when I got more confident, the fact of me being a virgin over the age of 20 always made me hesitant with women.  In the end I guess you could say I got lucky by being introduced to a girl who kinda took the lead and was not quick to judge.

And although loosing your virginity isn't everything, personally I think it does get harder and harder as you get older.  I'm really glad I don't have to worry about it any more.
 
2014-04-02 05:47:12 AM  

feffer: DubtodaIll: This is the penultimate first world problem.

What's the ultimate first world problem, then?


Having to hear people say, "First world problems" as if, somehow, that's a bad thing.
 
2014-04-02 05:59:56 AM  

Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?


Exactly. That's the real story.
 
2014-04-02 06:01:44 AM  
I prefer wiener.
 
2014-04-02 06:02:51 AM  

ShatteredMinds: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?



In my admittedly limited experience with nuns, they prefer to be called "Sister."

/They don't like it at all when you refer to them as "penguins". (Oblig, Language NSFW)
 
2014-04-02 06:16:41 AM  

Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?


You've always been able to do that.

Not exactly a "seminar" and it costs $25 a song, but you get the idea.
 
2014-04-02 06:17:15 AM  
Y'know, sometimes we wait because we are surrounded by assclowns to whom we wouldn't give the time of day let alone one's virginity. I had no hangups, no previous abuse, no issues; I just waited until I found someone who was worth it. Several years later and he's not complaining one bit. ;) I was always a quick study, and I had a ton of theoretical knowledge. We have a great sex life; I'm happy with my decision to wait.

Adult virgin does not mean broken or defective. The authors of the article can please get their heads out of everyone else's pants and worry about their own issues kthx.
 
2014-04-02 06:26:43 AM  

ShatteredMinds: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?


A TotalFarker
 
2014-04-02 06:29:00 AM  

The sound of one hand clapping: And although loosing your virginity isn't everything, personally I think it does get harder and harder as you get older.  I'm really glad I don't have to worry about it any more.


That's weird, I find that it's actually getting less and less hard as I get older, even though it gets easier and easier to get a girl's pants off...
 
2014-04-02 06:35:10 AM  
Keith McDorman walks into the back room of an Austin, Texas coffee shop. With his dirty-blond hair, light eyes, week-old beard, and striped button-down shirt, he looks like a younger, shorter, bohemian version of Bradley Cooper. He tosses his scooter helmet onto the wooden table, sits across from me at a booth that barely fits us both, and talks before I ask a question.

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-02 06:35:47 AM  
johnlemartirao.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-02 06:36:43 AM  
DELORES!
 
2014-04-02 06:37:55 AM  
Lost mine at 22, she was 33. I highly recommend it.
 
2014-04-02 06:48:47 AM  
I drft, but I think I know what to do next time I see women practicing yoga in the park.
 
2014-04-02 06:56:03 AM  

duffblue: fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.

That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


I found out this guy I knew was a virgin the first time we had sex. I felt awful. I liked him but it was nowhere near love. He was a friend and I was lonely.

If I had known, I would have tried to make it more special than laying on the fold out couch in my apartment. Or maybe it was the floor. I don't even remember.

He didn't tell me until years later that it was his first time. If only I had known.
 
2014-04-02 07:12:03 AM  

Hermione_Granger: duffblue: fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.

That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I found out this guy I knew was a virgin the first time we had sex. I felt awful. I liked him but it was nowhere near love. He was a friend and I was lonely.

If I had known, I would have tried to make it more special than laying on the fold out couch in my apartment. Or maybe it was the floor. I don't even remember.

He didn't tell me until years later that it was his first time. If only I had known.


My first time was on the floor of my prom date's apartment floor. A week after prom. With her mom upstairs. She didn't know I was a virgin. The song playing on the TV was Peter Gabriel's "Big Time".

/csb
 
2014-04-02 07:39:36 AM  
"How to Better Please Your Clenis," by Joanie Laurer
 
2014-04-02 07:46:07 AM  
is this the thread where we try to figure out who the oldest virgin on fark is?

i'm 34, still a virgin.  i didn't take advantage of my opportunities in college, and after college i stopped having opportunities.  honestly at this point i don't even care anymore.
 
2014-04-02 07:52:26 AM  
enderthexenocide:honestly at this point i don't even care anymore.

fark that. You should go to one of these clit stroking clinics. Or maybe I'll just go and say I'm a virgin (and leave out the 'born-again as of 9:30 this morning' part).
 
2014-04-02 07:52:58 AM  
LowbrowDeluxe:
Just don't even bother.  Every post I can recall from him is very angry about the vagina.

Address the post, not the image you've built for me in your head.
 
2014-04-02 07:55:10 AM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: /They don't like it at all when you refer to them as "penguins". (Oblig, Language NSFW)


Don't ever fark with the Penguin.

/Time to bust out the Blues Brothers DVD
 
2014-04-02 08:11:35 AM  
I too, like the feeling of inclusion
 
2014-04-02 08:22:44 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


So in other words if you're a virgin past a certain age you should remain a virgin?
 
2014-04-02 08:23:58 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: He tosses his scooter helmet onto the wooden table...


And THAT'S why he was a 28 year old virgin.
 
2014-04-02 08:25:48 AM  

duffblue: fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.

That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


I don't know. Why don't you ask all the women who rejected me? I mean, the Boston bomber got hundreds of love letters, so I guess I must be worse than him, right?
 
2014-04-02 08:26:58 AM  

rev. dave: Started 21, stopped 37.
16 years of sex is long enough


Hell, more than four hours and you're supposed to call a doctor.
 
2014-04-02 08:31:55 AM  
bdub77:   Sometimes I like to lay down with my clitoris. I put a nice pillow down, and invite the clitoris in. The clitoris can sometimes be shy, but there are ways to entice it. I've found the clitoris has a fond affinity for peanut butter and watching old episodes of Designing Women. Gentle stroking ensues.

                                               angelajoyblog.com
 
2014-04-02 08:39:41 AM  
bohemian version of Bradley Cooper. He tosses his scooter helmet onto the wooden table
where we talk over a live rock band at a high table near a vegan food truck.


OMFG everybody run! This hipster douche vortex is going to kill us all!
 
2014-04-02 08:40:25 AM  
28 year old virgin. What is his Fark handle?
 
2014-04-02 08:41:19 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

So in other words if you're a virgin past a certain age you should remain a virgin?


Oh my one individual's statement of preference is now extrapolated to an entire population? logical fallacy time again.  The coffee must be kicking in...what roast is that?  I'm guessing "butthurt".
 
2014-04-02 08:49:54 AM  
32 and still haven't lost mine, mostly because it was never really on my list of priorities to do so.  Priorities being, "Finish school, get a job, move out of your parents' house, and don't do anything that would fark up your chances of doing so."

The problem being that once you've gotten yourself financially stable and self-sufficient, you're too old and busy to meet anyone.

That and every guy I managed to make friends with in my teens and 20's turned out to be gay.

If gay marriage was legal in my state, I'd just settle down with my best friend.  We're not sexually attracted to one another, but we already act like an old married couple with each other and the relationship is pleasantly drama-free.  And, really, that's good enough for me.
 
2014-04-02 09:10:08 AM  
Why is someone "broken" or somehow defective if they're still a virgin well into their 20s, 30s, or even 40s?  There are people out there who aren't religious or who aren't motivated by religion, that just haven't had sex yet.  Either they have no desire to, they have low self-esteem, they have body issues, they have a history of sexual abuse/trauma.....there are a lot of reasons why someone abstains from sex.  None of these reasons are worth mocking the person or belittling them anymore than they might already mock or belittle themselves.  I would wager that most of the people we're talking about are self-aware enough to know they're an extreme minority.

I lost my virginity at 18 with the guy I'm still with now and I'll be 32 in June.  A good friend of ours is asexual and a few years older than I am - he's never had sex.  He told me there are different degrees of asexuals.  Some asexuals find the opposite sex (or same sex) attractive, but have no desire to boink them.  That's the group he's in, but there are others that are classed as aromantic asexuals, which is the other end of the spectrum.
 
2014-04-02 09:12:33 AM  
Maybe it was just a peculiarity of the time, but I don't see how anyone made it out of high school with their virginity intact.
 
2014-04-02 09:12:51 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


I feel that. What a long, messy, had to pack up and move afterwards night that was.
 
2014-04-02 09:32:33 AM  
For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).
 
2014-04-02 09:33:21 AM  
I was a virgin until I was 29 and I didn't need therapy in order to have sex. Sounds like the virginity of the people in TFA wasn't the problem, but a symptom.
 
2014-04-02 09:52:53 AM  
img.fark.net
Was that fast? I thought that was fast.
 
2014-04-02 10:03:20 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: feffer: DubtodaIll: This is the penultimate first world problem.

What's the ultimate first world problem, then?

[thechive.files.wordpress.com image 500x334]


Nah, "I ate too much" is still the ultimate first-world problem.
 
2014-04-02 10:05:54 AM  

Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).


Hi.  Can I apologize on behalf of all men, and perhaps undertake a little reparations?
 
2014-04-02 10:05:56 AM  

Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).


I suspect allot of guys can't make it the 15 minutes of play time with a woman without making a mess in their shorts.  I perform clitoral stimulation until I hear "OH GOD I can't take anymore" followed by involuntary muscle movements and whole body spasms, at which point I lock an arm around her to restrain her in place and commence at least five more minutes of clitoral massage just to make sure she's ready.
 
2014-04-02 10:09:20 AM  

duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


Not very broken, apparently. It looks like about 1/5 of the population are still virgins when they turn 20.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/ad/ad362.pdf
 
2014-04-02 10:11:49 AM  

Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).


Ahhh the Clit.  Some men cant find it, some men cant leave it the fark alone!

Theres a whole world to explore there fellas, sure you can head back to the turbo button as needed to see if you can kick start a grand mal seizure thats punctuated by screaming in parseltongue but keep the tunnel and sidewalls busy as well or she'll end up slapping your forehead over and over and begging for you to move.

Women communicate best through their thighs and with their fist clenched in your hair.
 
2014-04-02 10:14:02 AM  

Jarod Cain: [img.photobucket.com image 499x218]

Came for Jay, finding I'm having to do it myself.
-J-


Bet that happens to you a lot.
 
2014-04-02 10:16:25 AM  

enderthexenocide: is this the thread where we try to figure out who the oldest virgin on fark is?

i'm 34, still a virgin.  i didn't take advantage of my opportunities in college, and after college i stopped having opportunities.  honestly at this point i don't even care anymore.


dude. if you arent horrible looking, somebody will do you a mercy shag.

you will care
 
2014-04-02 10:17:12 AM  

Fubini: Not very broken, apparently. It looks like about 1/5 of the population are still virgins when they turn 20.


Also, a quarter of the population has had vaginal sex by they time they're 15 years old. That's another kind of broken if you ask me.
 
2014-04-02 10:26:19 AM  

SquiggsIN: Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).

So what exactly are the girl scouts doing here?

[img.fark.net image 600x518]

/exactly what my g/f has instructed me on


They forgot one for the stink.
 
2014-04-02 10:38:18 AM  

fusillade762:


My first time was on the floor of my prom date's apartment floor. A week after prom. With her mom upstairs. She didn't know I was a virgin. The song playing on the TV was Peter Gabriel's "Big Time".


/csb



You banged your prom date's mom?


media.247sports.com
 
2014-04-02 10:44:52 AM  

SmithHiller: DELORES!


Mulva!
 
2014-04-02 11:04:01 AM  

Fubini: Fubini: Not very broken, apparently. It looks like about 1/5 of the population are still virgins when they turn 20.

Also, a quarter of the population has had vaginal sex by they time they're 15 years old. That's another kind of broken if you ask me.


img4.wikia.nocookie.net

Chef: The right time to start having sex is 17.
Sheila: So you mean 17 as long as you're in love?
Chef: Nope, just 17.
Gerald: But what if you're not ready at 17?
Chef: 17, you're ready.

/Not bad advice.
 
2014-04-02 11:18:52 AM  

Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).


I have never met a woman that can make it past 5 minutes without wanting to speed things up to orgasm. Once you start, you have to finish or it is just mean. That's like giving a slow hand job where you don't really accomplish anything. Eventually, the suspense stops and you need to move the story along...
 
2014-04-02 11:27:14 AM  

Fast Moon: 32 and still haven't lost mine, mostly because it was never really on my list of priorities to do so.  Priorities being, "Finish school, get a job, move out of your parents' house, and don't do anything that would fark up your chances of doing so."

The problem being that once you've gotten yourself financially stable and self-sufficient, you're too old and busy to meet anyone.

That and every guy I managed to make friends with in my teens and 20's turned out to be gay.

If gay marriage was legal in my state, I'd just settle down with my best friend.  We're not sexually attracted to one another, but we already act like an old married couple with each other and the relationship is pleasantly drama-free.  And, really, that's good enough for me.


oh good god!

it was never on your list of priorities to do?!  then don't farking schedule it, just get out there and have yourself some fun! it is fun. it's very pleasant. you'll like it. you won't want to marry your friend anymore
 
2014-04-02 12:19:11 PM  

Lady J: it was never on your list of priorities to do?!  then don't farking schedule it, just get out there and have yourself some fun! it is fun. it's very pleasant. you'll like it. you won't want to marry your friend anymore


Why?  I'm content with my life right now.  I have no reason to expend the effort to "get out there and have fun" when I don't see what I have to gain by it.  I'm financially stable, emotionally stable, have supportive friends, and generally happy.  Seeking out a sexual partner would be solely for the sake of getting my "I got my cherry popped" sticker, not because I feel like I would somehow be better off having done it.  And given my prior experience with past friends, I probably have better odds of running into someone who would upset my current financial and/or emotional stability than augment it in any significant way, so the cost/benefit payoff just isn't there.

When you've already got a good thing going, there's no sense in being greedy, or you could end up losing it all.
 
2014-04-02 12:27:43 PM  
"What eventually made him feel ready was practicing orgasmic meditation, which entails stroking a woman's clitoris for 15 minutes. The class, which he joined after hearing about it from a friend, eased McDorman into being sexual in a permissible environment where he felt safe."

And where does one sign up for this class? Or, better yet, audition as an instructor?

/band geek
//magic fingers
///woodwinds use *all* their fingers baby
 
2014-04-02 12:36:08 PM  

FarkQued: Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).

I suspect allot of guys can't make it the 15 minutes of play time with a woman without making a mess in their shorts.  I perform clitoral stimulation until I hear "OH GOD I can't take anymore" followed by involuntary muscle movements and whole body spasms, at which point I lock an arm around her to restrain her in place and commence at least five more minutes of clitoral massage just to make sure she's ready.


You apparently don't have the duct tape tight enough.
 
2014-04-02 12:46:26 PM  

Lady J: Fast Moon: 32 and still haven't lost mine, mostly because it was never really on my list of priorities to do so.  Priorities being, "Finish school, get a job, move out of your parents' house, and don't do anything that would fark up your chances of doing so."

The problem being that once you've gotten yourself financially stable and self-sufficient, you're too old and busy to meet anyone.

That and every guy I managed to make friends with in my teens and 20's turned out to be gay.

If gay marriage was legal in my state, I'd just settle down with my best friend.  We're not sexually attracted to one another, but we already act like an old married couple with each other and the relationship is pleasantly drama-free.  And, really, that's good enough for me.

oh good god!

it was never on your list of priorities to do?!  then don't farking schedule it, just get out there and have yourself some fun! it is fun. it's very pleasant. you'll like it. you won't want to marry your friend anymore


Some people have little to no sex drive, and there's nothing wrong with that.  Why the need to shame people for living their lives in a way you don't?  As long as they're not breaking the law, who gives a fark?
 
2014-04-02 01:47:38 PM  

the money is in the banana stand: Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).

I have never met a woman that can make it past 5 minutes without wanting to speed things up to orgasm. Once you start, you have to finish or it is just mean. That's like giving a slow hand job where you don't really accomplish anything. Eventually, the suspense stops and you need to move the story along...


You have to tease them. You bring them to the brink of orgasm, then stop...repeat a 2nd time, then on the 3rd attempt you allow her to orgasm. I can almost guarantee it will be one of the strongest she's ever experienced.
 
2014-04-02 01:58:14 PM  

DubtodaIll: This is the penultimate first world problem.


img.fark.net
 
2014-04-02 02:01:49 PM  

enderthexenocide: is this the thread where we try to figure out who the oldest virgin on fark is?

i'm 34, still a virgin.  i didn't take advantage of my opportunities in college, and after college i stopped having opportunities.  honestly at this point i don't even care anymore.


Don't worry you're not the oldest.
 
2014-04-02 03:33:12 PM  

fusillade762: Hermione_Granger: duffblue: fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.

That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I found out this guy I knew was a virgin the first time we had sex. I felt awful. I liked him but it was nowhere near love. He was a friend and I was lonely.

If I had known, I would have tried to make it more special than laying on the fold out couch in my apartment. Or maybe it was the floor. I don't even remember.

He didn't tell me until years later that it was his first time. If only I had known.

My first time was on the floor of my prom date's apartment floor. A week after prom. With her mom upstairs. She didn't know I was a virgin. The song playing on the TV was Peter Gabriel's "Big Time".

/csb


I'm on my way I'm making it, HUH!
I've got to make it show yeah, HEY!
So much larger than life
I'm gonna watch it growing
Hey hey hey heyyyyyyy

Ya know what? That sounds like a great song for a man to lose his virginity to.

/only had a fan on...
 
2014-04-02 03:45:50 PM  

Fast Moon: Lady J: it was never on your list of priorities to do?!  then don't farking schedule it, just get out there and have yourself some fun! it is fun. it's very pleasant. you'll like it. you won't want to marry your friend anymore

Why?  I'm content with my life right now.  I have no reason to expend the effort to "get out there and have fun" when I don't see what I have to gain by it.  I'm financially stable, emotionally stable, have supportive friends, and generally happy.  Seeking out a sexual partner would be solely for the sake of getting my "I got my cherry popped" sticker, not because I feel like I would somehow be better off having done it.  And given my prior experience with past friends, I probably have better odds of running into someone who would upset my current financial and/or emotional stability than augment it in any significant way, so the cost/benefit payoff just isn't there.

When you've already got a good thing going, there's no sense in being greedy, or you could end up losing it all.


Looks like you've bought into the soul-destroying ideology that sex is inseparably related to obligation of some sort. There is only one real obligation with regard to sex and that is to enjoy it as much as humanly possible on your own terms - compromising only to the degree that you genuinely care about who you're having sex with. It sounds to me though that you're just not interested in it - which is fine too. For most people (in my estimation), orgasms - and knowing what they are - are one of the two greatest things about being human, and we get confused, intimidated, frustrated and annoyed when we run into another person who doesn't share our enthusiasm, and we react in ways that reflect this mental state.

Do what you feel comfortable with - if vigorously rubbing yourself with a vibrator doesn't get you enthusiastic about the prospects of a rock-hard-throbbing-penis, then you're probably not missing out on anything.
 
2014-04-02 04:26:58 PM  

holdeestrufs: For most people (in my estimation), orgasms - and knowing what they are - are one of the two greatest things about being human, and we get confused, intimidated, frustrated and annoyed when we run into another person who doesn't share our enthusiasm, and we react in ways that reflect this mental state.


What's the other one? I'm thinking alcohol...

/But, neither are restricted to humans, either...
//Other animals enjoy getting drunk/high and having orgasms, as well...
 
2014-04-02 04:39:17 PM  

Rand's lacy underwear: Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?


When we're aroused, we basically lube ourselves. Touching the clitoris is the best way to cause orgasm (there's two kinds--one involves penetration, the other is clitorial massage), but you need to arouse her first and use the lube (or use a fake one if you want).

Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Get creative. Light touches near erotic areas are fun; roleplay or sexy clothes are good...it really is all about how you use it.
 
2014-04-02 04:49:04 PM  
I admit that once I slept with a guy because he told me that he was still a virgin at 28, and just begged me to, it felt so goood, oh, he was so thankful, etc.

I was in my early 20's and drunk and I bought it. Only later did I realize that he was totally full of shiat, and probably said that to all the girls.
 
2014-04-02 05:00:35 PM  
I used to work with a woman and we would hook up now and then but she told me the one thing she loved doing at work is finding out what new guys had their V card and getting it from them. Only problem she made was dating one of them he got real clingy almost cost her job.
 
2014-04-02 05:06:29 PM  

cryinoutloud: I admit that once I slept with a guy because he told me that he was still a virgin at 28, and just begged me to, it felt so goood, oh, he was so thankful, etc.

I was in my early 20's and drunk and I bought it. Only later did I realize that he was totally full of shiat, and probably said that to all the girls.


I sincerely hope that your epiphany wasn't because you caught something.
 
2014-04-02 05:23:15 PM  

holdeestrufs: Looks like you've bought into the soul-destroying ideology that sex is inseparably related to obligation of some sort. There is only one real obligation with regard to sex and that is to enjoy it as much as humanly possible on your own terms - compromising only to the degree that you genuinely care about who you're having sex with.


So, you're basically saying that I should try something that's as equally emotionally-uninvolved as masturbation, has the same end result, but takes way more effort, and runs the risk of disease, pregnancy, and ending up with someone way more clingy and emotionally needy than I am?

No thanks.  I can get my rocks off by myself just fine.  The only reason I could imagine wanting to involve another person would be for some kind of added emotional aspect.  Which I'm already set with.
 
2014-04-02 05:24:33 PM  

Fubini: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

Not very broken, apparently. It looks like about 1/5 of the population are still virgins when they turn 20.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/ad/ad362.pdf


Thanks Obama.
 
2014-04-02 05:54:19 PM  

Savage Bacon: The song playing on the TV was Peter Gabriel's "Big Time".

/csb

I'm on my way I'm making it, HUH!
I've got to make it show yeah, HEY!
So much larger than life
I'm gonna watch it growing
Hey hey hey heyyyyyyy

Ya know what? That sounds like a great song for a man to lose his virginity to.


It was pretty perfect. I mean the song, not the sex. The sex was clumsy and awkward.
 
2014-04-02 06:20:22 PM  
cs425725.vk.me
 
2014-04-02 08:05:18 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Lady J: Fast Moon: 32 and still haven't lost mine, mostly because it was never really on my list of priorities to do so.  Priorities being, "Finish school, get a job, move out of your parents' house, and don't do anything that would fark up your chances of doing so."

The problem being that once you've gotten yourself financially stable and self-sufficient, you're too old and busy to meet anyone.

That and every guy I managed to make friends with in my teens and 20's turned out to be gay.

If gay marriage was legal in my state, I'd just settle down with my best friend.  We're not sexually attracted to one another, but we already act like an old married couple with each other and the relationship is pleasantly drama-free.  And, really, that's good enough for me.

oh good god!

it was never on your list of priorities to do?!  then don't farking schedule it, just get out there and have yourself some fun! it is fun. it's very pleasant. you'll like it. you won't want to marry your friend anymore

Some people have little to no sex drive, and there's nothing wrong with that.  Why the need to shame people for living their lives in a way you don't?  As long as they're not breaking the law, who gives a fark?


Exactly.

Apparently you can be gay, bi, poly-amorous, transexual, transgendered, transvestite, or any of a number of things with impunity these days, but to be a person not completely obsessed with sex is simply not allowed.

I get it, you enjoy sex so you think you are doing the world a favour when you tell people to do what you do, but people are different. Not everyone likes what you do as much as you do. I own horses and I really get a lot of joy from owning horses, but I don't go around telling everyone they must get out and buy a horse ASAP.

If a person is happy with their life, whatever lifestyle they lead, I'd call it a success.

"Like everything I like" is just as bad as saying "stop liking what I don't like".
 
2014-04-02 08:34:02 PM  

Lady J: enderthexenocide: is this the thread where we try to figure out who the oldest virgin on fark is?

i'm 34, still a virgin.  i didn't take advantage of my opportunities in college, and after college i stopped having opportunities.  honestly at this point i don't even care anymore.

dude. if you arent horrible looking, somebody will do you a mercy shag.

you will care


FTFY
/this is Fark, there are Farkers about
 
2014-04-03 12:04:59 AM  

Miss5280: For the record: 15 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation (gentle circles)  would be my idea of heaven. Getting a guy to pay any attention to that part at all is a miracle because they think intercourse is all they need to do. That doesn't work for many women (including me).


My wife doesn't care much for it, though I really enjoy doing it.

I'll play with yours if you play with mine.

(expect to get messy)
 
2014-04-03 02:37:18 AM  

spacelord321: Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?

Exactly. That's the real story.


It's been addressed on fark before.

It's kind of a bizarre cult based out of sf.
 
2014-04-03 04:36:05 AM  
Fast Moon:
Why?  I'm content with my life right now.  I have no reason to expend the effort to "get out there and have fun" when I don't see what I have to gain by it.  I'm financially stable, emotionally stable, have supportive friends, and generally happy.  Seeking out a sexual partner would be solely for the sake of getting my "I got my cherry popped" sticker, not because I feel like I would somehow be better off having done it.  And given my prior experience with past friends, I probably have better odds of running into someone who would upset my current financial and/or emotional stability than augment it in any significant way, so the cost/benefit payoff just isn't there.

When you've already got a good thing going, there's no sense in being greedy, or you could end up losing it all.


i find this immeasurably sad. wanting a relationship isnt greedy. having sex isnt greedy. incidentally you don't need a relationship to have sex, as im sure you can imagine

your posts don't read as if you're asexual -  that would be quite different - they read to me as if you're afraid. there's nothing to be afraid of.

sex is so pivotal to the human experience. this great technicolour, surround sound, living breathing experience. don't miss out. if you don't like it you've lost nothing. but don't be afraid.
 
2014-04-03 10:27:31 AM  

Lady J: your posts don't read as if you're asexual - that would be quite different - they read to me as if you're afraid. there's nothing to be afraid of.


Really?  I just read that the poster is happy with their life.  Nothing more or less.  If they're happy without sex now or ever, who are you to try and push them into it?  Sex isn't so pivotal that it is worth ruining your life over, I don't care how you do it.  I'd even suggest that if it complicates or inconveniences your life and happiness too much it isn't worth it.  Let's all be honest, it isn't the be all and end all of human experience.
 
2014-04-03 10:33:49 AM  

gadian: Lady J: your posts don't read as if you're asexual - that would be quite different - they read to me as if you're afraid. there's nothing to be afraid of.

Really?  I just read that the poster is happy with their life.  Nothing more or less.  If they're happy without sex now or ever, who are you to try and push them into it?  Sex isn't so pivotal that it is worth ruining your life over, I don't care how you do it.  I'd even suggest that if it complicates or inconveniences your life and happiness too much it isn't worth it.  Let's all be honest, it isn't the be all and end all of human experience.


what is the be all and end all of human experience?
 
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