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(The Atlantic)   "What eventually made him feel ready was practicing orgasmic meditation, which entails stroking a woman's clitoris for 15 minutes"   (theatlantic.com) divider line 147
    More: Interesting, Lists of people by belief, sexual abstinence, American Journal of Public Health, sexual intercourses, sexual surrogate  
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14715 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2014 at 12:08 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-04-01 10:49:29 PM  
I'm actually pretty good at this orgasmic meditation, except that I use my vagina, not a woman's clitoris.  And I've condensed the process to 30 seconds, because, hey, I'm efficient.
 
2014-04-01 10:57:25 PM  
I know how this guy feels. Getting to know your clitoris is one of the most important things you can do in any relationship.

Sometimes I like to lay down with my clitoris. I put a nice pillow down, and invite the clitoris in. The clitoris can sometimes be shy, but there are ways to entice it. I've found the clitoris has a fond affinity for peanut butter and watching old episodes of Designing Women. Gentle stroking ensues.

Occasionally things get out of hand and the clitoris gets unruly. Do NOT punch the clitoris, you will only make it angry and it will begin releasing a caustic substance that burns the hands and mouth. The key is to soften the mood. It seems to enjoy the fresh scent of Glade Plug-in Garden Fresh Lavender. Do not attempt to use real lavender.

Once you have subdued the clitoris with gentle stroking, the key is to very quickly lift up on the clitoris until you feel a metallic *click*. You have reached Stage Two. Next I'm told you'll want to find a large shrubbery. One that looks nice, and is not too expensive. I would go on but I've not yet gotten to Stage Two, I will post my experiences when I have the chance.
 
2014-04-01 11:08:53 PM  

bdub77: I would go on but I've not yet gotten to Stage Two,


Spoiler:  It involves steel wool and plaster-of-Paris.
 
2014-04-01 11:31:57 PM  
Obligitory -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5U-YT-mRmI

I'm singing along. Please join me.
 
2014-04-01 11:52:40 PM  
So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.
 
2014-04-02 12:04:39 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.
 
2014-04-02 12:12:21 AM  
You do not lose your virginity when you have oral sex.
 
2014-04-02 12:15:51 AM  
1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com
 
2014-04-02 12:16:26 AM  

JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.


Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.
 
2014-04-02 12:16:26 AM  
There were far too many numbers in that article to maintain my chubber while reading it.  Mr. Happy does not like reading numbers.
 
2014-04-02 12:16:42 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


Maybe she wants you to train her.
 
2014-04-02 12:21:32 AM  

fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.


That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s
 
2014-04-02 12:21:36 AM  

fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.


Awesome. There are plenty of guys who think that is the entire fun of it. You should make friends with those guys because the moment they lose interest is the moment your interest begins.
 
2014-04-02 12:22:40 AM  
Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?
 
2014-04-02 12:23:17 AM  
How to train your virgin
 
2014-04-02 12:23:18 AM  

duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s



Funny, typically a female virgin is considered unbroken.
 
2014-04-02 12:24:08 AM  
He flicked the clit.
 
2014-04-02 12:24:09 AM  
Started 21, stopped 37.
16 years of sex is long enough

Didn't bother to get married or have kids and its all ok with me.
 
2014-04-02 12:25:06 AM  

worlddan: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

Awesome. There are plenty of guys who think that is the entire fun of it. You should make friends with those guys because the moment they lose interest is the moment your interest begins.


There's a village in India where the husbands hire a man for this. Because they think it's a dirty job.

/trust me I'm an expert
//I did a report on this in school once
 
2014-04-02 12:25:34 AM  
It's hard to imagine an article more dull.
 
2014-04-02 12:33:37 AM  
fta "I think I had a super-strong first year of sex," McDorman says, putting on his helmet. "I don't regret any of it. I'm learning a ton and it keeps getting better."

Safety first
 
2014-04-02 12:33:46 AM  

worlddan: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


Funny, typically a female virgin is considered unbroken.


You're a prize to deflower when you're young; you're too broken to deflower when you're older. If you've at any point had more sex than the man you're currently involved with, you're a slut. This sounds like a reasonable set of requirements that has in no way negatively impacted the lives of anyone ever.
 
2014-04-02 12:34:01 AM  

Rand's lacy underwear: Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?


Well, can you rub-a-chub for that long? Might need some kind of lubricant but it's entirely doable.
 
2014-04-02 12:34:12 AM  

fusillade762: JoieD'Zen: fusillade762: So he didn't have sex until he was 28.

My last GF was a virgin at that age when she met me. Never again. I don't want to have to train them.

More like working past their anxiety and supressed issues I would imagine.

Yeah, that. She'd never had an orgasm and didn't even seem to care about trying. Eventually it started to have a detrimental effect on my ego.


Glad to see your ego made it out intact.
 
2014-04-02 12:34:16 AM  
<I>What eventually made him feel ready was practicing orgasmic meditation, which entails stroking a woman's clitoris for 15 minutes</I>

Oh, you mean foreplay?
 
2014-04-02 12:37:12 AM  
I like playing with clits

sue me
 
2014-04-02 12:37:22 AM  
So, anyone else take the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test? Seemed pretty accurate for me.

Your score: 86 you have severe social phobia.
 
2014-04-02 12:37:25 AM  
Mash down the Atari controller button real good.
 
2014-04-02 12:38:01 AM  

Rand's lacy underwear: Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?


Put up with it?  I'd pay for that shiat.
 
2014-04-02 12:41:00 AM  
img.photobucket.com

Came for Jay, finding I'm having to do it myself.
-J-
 
2014-04-02 12:41:09 AM  

bdub77: I know how this guy feels. Getting to know your clitoris is one of the most important things you can do in any relationship.

Sometimes I like to lay down with my clitoris. I put a nice pillow down, and invite the clitoris in. The clitoris can sometimes be shy, but there are ways to entice it. I've found the clitoris has a fond affinity for peanut butter and watching old episodes of Designing Women. Gentle stroking ensues.

Occasionally things get out of hand and the clitoris gets unruly. Do NOT punch the clitoris, you will only make it angry and it will begin releasing a caustic substance that burns the hands and mouth. The key is to soften the mood. It seems to enjoy the fresh scent of Glade Plug-in Garden Fresh Lavender. Do not attempt to use real lavender.

Once you have subdued the clitoris with gentle stroking, the key is to very quickly lift up on the clitoris until you feel a metallic *click*. You have reached Stage Two. Next I'm told you'll want to find a large shrubbery. One that looks nice, and is not too expensive. I would go on but I've not yet gotten to Stage Two, I will post my experiences when I have the chance.


thank you for this educational look at how the clitoris works. i can't wait to practice your technique.
 
2014-04-02 12:45:07 AM  
The vagina is like a musical instrument for me and I play it like some famous violinist would play a Stradivarius.
I'm a vagina virtuoso.
 
2014-04-02 12:46:26 AM  

Skleenar: I'm actually pretty good at this orgasmic meditation, except that I use my vagina, not a woman's clitoris.  And I've condensed the process to 30 seconds, because, hey, I'm efficient.


You go girl!
 
2014-04-02 12:46:39 AM  
"I think I had a super-strong first year of sex,"
 
2014-04-02 12:51:02 AM  
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com

"What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy."
 
2014-04-02 12:51:50 AM  

duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s


I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?
 
2014-04-02 12:56:12 AM  
How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?
 
2014-04-02 01:01:22 AM  

Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?


content8.flixster.com

Instant section eight.
 
2014-04-02 01:02:19 AM  

gadian: Rand's lacy underwear: Uh. Ladies... help us out here.

In my (extremely) limited experience that would seem awkward, strange, and probably begin to feel a bit raw for you. Is there really a woman alive who would put up with this?

Put up with it?  I'd pay for that shiat.


What she said. If a guy knows what he's doing, that is extremely pleasurable and I can usually scream loudly to the invisible sky wizard a couple of times.
 
2014-04-02 01:05:41 AM  
This is the penultimate first world problem.
 
2014-04-02 01:11:59 AM  

ShatteredMinds: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?


A Duggar crotchfruit?
 
2014-04-02 01:13:08 AM  
No it's okay. Just take a step towards the clitoris. Don't be hesitant about it. If you're hesitant about it you'll scare it. Just take a step towards it like you've done this a million times. Okay great, great. Now that you're closer just look at it. Take a good look at it. It's not scary at all huh? It's pretty cute even! Now I want you to reach out and just touch it. No no we have to do this. Just put out one finger and just lightly stroke it. Well, just sort of think of it like a lightswitch. Just one finger up and down. Stop reaching for it so slowly. Don't be hesitant like I said. If you're hesitant it's going to think you don't like it. Then it'll go back and hide. OH! Good good! Yes exactly. You have to walk up to the clitoris and establish a hierarchy early on. You have to say "I am the alpha-clitoris" or you'll never have its respect. Now what? Like I said, sort of like a lightswitch. You need to be somewhat forceful with it but tender. Just up and down. Yes yes. Now that you have some comfort interacting with the clitoris feel free to get some more fingers on it. You are building trust with the clitoris. The clitoris is saying that it understands that you just want to be friends with it. Ooo yes exactly. Once you, oh my, once you have this trust you can... yeah you can move more swiftly. ... oh wow... whoo... Okay now stop for a minute. I think you and the clitoris are on the foundations of a great relationship. I say we put the collar on the clitoris and you can take it for a walk outside.
 
2014-04-02 01:19:53 AM  

Fista-Phobia: Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?



Instant section eight.


Thanks for reminding me. I havent watched fmj in far too long. Its on the playlist for tomorrow.
 
2014-04-02 01:22:00 AM  

ShatteredMinds: duffblue: That's scary. How broken do you have to be to be a virgin in your 20s

I wouldn't say a person has to be broken, but you're probably right most would have some issues social, mental, or physical that limit their chances with the opposite sex.

So, if a person who is a virgin at twenty is broken what would you call a person who's still a virgin in their forties?


i172.photobucket.com
 
2014-04-02 01:27:48 AM  

rev. dave: Started 21, stopped 37.
16 years of sex is long enough


Geez, I hope you had a lot of lube...
 
2014-04-02 01:31:46 AM  

SeaMan Stainz: Fista-Phobia: Penny_Ante: How is nobody addressing the fact that there is apparently a seminar you can take where you play with a clitoris for 15 minutes?

Instant section eight.

Thanks for reminding me. I havent watched fmj in far too long. Its on the playlist for tomorrow.


Agreed.

The what?
 
2014-04-02 01:34:17 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-04-02 01:42:57 AM  

Porous Horace: The vagina is like a musical instrument for me and I play it like some famous violinist would play a Stradivarius.
I'm a vagina virtuoso.


Bravo good sir!

www.endorexpress.net
 
2014-04-02 01:48:24 AM  
Jim Jeffries explaining proper clitoris technique:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNRHPr7Gabk">https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=rNRHPr7Gabk
(clit bit starts at 6:10)
 
2014-04-02 01:51:50 AM  

Porous Horace: The vagina is like a musical instrument for me and I play it like some famous violinist would play a Stradivarius.
I'm a vagina virtuoso.


Yo mama's so huge, her vagina virtuoso is Yo-Yo Ma
 
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