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(YouTube)   Seven perpendicular red lines drawn with green and transparent ink. Call in the expert   (youtube.com) divider line 36
    More: Amusing, sketch comedy, make-up artist  
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8179 clicks; posted to Video » on 01 Apr 2014 at 2:33 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-01 12:33:45 PM  
I've been to those meetings
 
2014-04-01 12:50:02 PM  
Not bad.
 
2014-04-01 01:01:31 PM  
subby here
 
2014-04-01 01:14:12 PM  

netizencain: I've been to those meetings


Me too, but I was the expert.
 
2014-04-01 01:25:24 PM  

vygramul: netizencain: I've been to those meetings

Me too, but I was the expert.


HEY!  What are you implying?  That I would want a red line formed into a kitten?
 
2014-04-01 02:35:01 PM  
I personally loved it.

My wife, in the background while I watched, didn't know what the hell I found funny ... she kind of gave me the same look they gave the expert when he said he couldn't draw a red line with green ink
 
2014-04-01 02:58:00 PM  
Reminds me of the dept. I work in...at the University.
 
2014-04-01 03:00:03 PM  
Best years of my life were wasted in that meeting....

Only thing I didn't hear was "synergy"
 
2014-04-01 03:00:48 PM  
I'm an expert but they don't want me in those meetings because they're execs and I'm not.
 
2014-04-01 03:05:32 PM  
Easy... Draw a staircase in red ink with transparent blue ink on top. Each line is perpendicular to the one before, and you are still using both blue and transparent while making the put come end up red.

Don't blame ME if nobody has invented transparent blue ink yet.
 
2014-04-01 03:11:54 PM  

Mikey1969: Easy... Draw a staircase in red ink with transparent blue ink on top. Each line is perpendicular to the one before, and you are still using both blue and transparent while making the put come end up red.

Don't blame ME if nobody has invented transparent blue ink yet.


Due to software limitations at this time I can't do transparent blue but I can do translucent in any shade you want.  However the treads will all still be parallel if not aligned vertically. The same for the risers but with a horizontal alignment bias.

May I suggest a tesseract?
 
2014-04-01 03:17:14 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Mikey1969: Easy... Draw a staircase in red ink with transparent blue ink on top. Each line is perpendicular to the one before, and you are still using both blue and transparent while making the put come end up red.

Don't blame ME if nobody has invented transparent blue ink yet.

Due to software limitations at this time I can't do transparent blue but I can do translucent in any shade you want.  However the treads will all still be parallel if not aligned vertically. The same for the risers but with a horizontal alignment bias.

May I suggest a tesseract?


I feel this way in IT sometimes, and his answer at the end is EXACTLY how I have had to wrap things up.
 
2014-04-01 03:20:39 PM  
Same here with using Revit.  More often than not these days I just tell them I'll take care of it so they quit obsessing over graphics instead of the content.

/the industry standard greyscale isn't right.  Fix that
 
2014-04-01 03:33:38 PM  
I've been in all three vendor roles over the years. The hardest one by far is 'expert'.
Nicely observed sketch. Thanks Subby.
 
2014-04-01 03:48:38 PM  
i'm in this meeting right now.
 
2014-04-01 04:00:59 PM  
fc07.deviantart.net
At least some of those problems were due to his unreasonable insistence that the lines be straight.
 
2014-04-01 04:03:27 PM  

vygramul: netizencain: I've been to those meetings

Me too, but I was the expert.


Me too. The only fault here is that "red" and "transparent" are not mutually exclusive. "transparent"  means "to see through" and is not a synonym with "invisible".

Three lines can be perpendicular in Cartesian space. Perhaps 7 can also, but I don't have the math.

I got so that I could play the game in these meeting by just agreeing to everything and doing the project as I pleased.
 
2014-04-01 04:20:46 PM  

smells_like_meat: Three lines can be perpendicular in Cartesian space. Perhaps 7 can also, but I don't have the math.


You would need to go onto 7 dimensional representations of a non-Euclidean elliptic geometric space, but that's not the most difficult thing in the world.
 
2014-04-01 04:57:38 PM  

Theaetetus: smells_like_meat: Three lines can be perpendicular in Cartesian space. Perhaps 7 can also, but I don't have the math.

You would need to go onto 7 dimensional representations of a non-Euclidean elliptic geometric space, but that's not the most difficult thing in the world.


Excellent. Now to tackle the transparent ink problem.
 
2014-04-01 06:28:21 PM  

vygramul: Theaetetus: smells_like_meat: Three lines can be perpendicular in Cartesian space. Perhaps 7 can also, but I don't have the math.

You would need to go onto 7 dimensional representations of a non-Euclidean elliptic geometric space, but that's not the most difficult thing in the world.

Excellent. Now to tackle the transparent ink problem.


Lemon juice.
 
2014-04-01 06:52:36 PM  

vygramul: Theaetetus: smells_like_meat: Three lines can be perpendicular in Cartesian space. Perhaps 7 can also, but I don't have the math.

You would need to go onto 7 dimensional representations of a non-Euclidean elliptic geometric space, but that's not the most difficult thing in the world.

Excellent. Now to tackle the transparent ink problem.


Of course. Here is a line rendered in transparent ink:


If that line is not long enough, here is a longer one:


Now, of course, this line uses black transparent ink. To use red transparent in, I will need to change the font in your browser. In a moment, I will change your browser font setting, draw a red line using transparent ink, and then change your browser setting back to normal. Here we go:


Finally, you asked that it be perpendicular to all the other lines. Here it is, a red line in transparent ink perpendicular to all the other lines I've done:

You're welcome. That'll be $5000.
 
2014-04-01 07:44:25 PM  

vygramul: netizencain: I've been to those meetings

Me too, but I was the expert.


Heh, did that for years. Never recovered my sanity.
 
2014-04-01 09:09:30 PM  
Reminds me of the meeting where the head of marketing said that IT should develop a system to tell the company how to market.

I got a dirty look for explaining that we can measure what they want measured, as long as it is measurable. We can offer an opinion about what data is significant.  We can tell you how accurate we think the data is.   Once we measure those things, we can detect correlations, but ultimately what to measure, what it "means" and what actions should follow are not an IT function and isn't really what we are there for.
 
2014-04-01 10:46:09 PM  
Then, of course, there was the company that had their Mission Statement on nice, pretty, well-made cloth banners hanging in various places in a large meeting room.

And you couldn't read it.

Oh, the text was clear and legible. Nice font, good choice of colors. It just... slipped out of your head. There were maybe thirty or forty words in the Mission Statement, but you could only get about ten or twelve words I wish I was clever enough to post your mind just... wandered.

I thought I'd had a stroke, and turned to a friend of mine who was staring at the same banner. He couldn't read it either. Nobody could. It was amazing.

This was pre-cell-camera, or I would have taken a photo of one just to have proof. Probably would have bricked the phone, though. Anti-memetic warfare.
 
2014-04-01 11:26:33 PM  

Mikey1969: Easy... Draw a staircase in red ink with transparent blue ink on top. Each line is perpendicular to the one before, and you are still using both blue and transparent while making the put come end up red.

Don't blame ME if nobody has invented transparent blue ink yet.


Those are line segments.
 
2014-04-01 11:55:29 PM  
Fark: Nothing but experts.
 
2014-04-02 12:06:45 AM  
Nice video.
 
2014-04-02 01:32:49 AM  
You guys are missing the point. Is there per diem on this business trip? Where are we staying?
 
2014-04-02 01:52:54 AM  
I was in that meeting this morning!

("Yes, if you shrink the size of the browser window...you may have the text on the page break on different lines...that's how a web browser works")
 
2014-04-02 05:47:08 AM  
I've lost count of how many meetings with "engineers" fresh out of college that I have had these meetings with - enough that I shudder when I get referred to as 'the expert', and enough that a degree means jack to me. For every engineer with actual cognitive skills I have met, I could fill a bus with people who were really good at rote learning.

Unfortunately, when supervision on both sides of the table just wants it done, regardless of the actual result, they only want to hear 'yes, I can do anything you want...'
 
2014-04-02 08:15:02 AM  
That is so accurate that it stopped being funny.
 
2014-04-02 09:19:39 AM  

Perlin Noise: That is so accurate that it stopped being funny.


So this.

Those who are laughing have never sat through one of those meetings.
 
2014-04-02 10:02:06 AM  

kregh99: Perlin Noise: That is so accurate that it stopped being funny.

So this.

Those who are laughing have never sat through one of those meetings.


I work in a very different field, and have still sat through very similar meetings.
 
2014-04-02 10:51:50 AM  
Is this a dramatic recreation of "Cognitive Dissonance"?

I can't help but wonder how if such persons actually existed they could function outside a care facility.

If the engineer   expert were to sell his stock in that company, would he be guilty of insider trading?

Aside from the assistant, the engineer was probably the lowest paid person there.

(Sigh) If only there were an anthology series that could produce an adaptation of Kornbluth's
"The Marching Morons", where the experts secretly run the world.
 
2014-04-02 02:16:57 PM  
I dont have to watch that, I live it every workday.
 
2014-04-02 11:18:39 PM  
This is the dynamic of just about every contract negotiation. The sales people promise everything, come to an agreement, pen a deal, and their experts come in and realize the impossible has been promised because the salesperson has no clue how anything actually works, they just want the contract signed. Always deal with the expert directly when working out the agreement, and make sure they can show you how the plan is going to be executed, along with all the critical success factors, contingency plans, etc. If you're dealing with a company that can't tell you what exactly they are going to do, and what their back-up plan is for every single identified risk, walk away and find someone who can. You're often better off spending more money on people that know what they're doing, than signing a deal with the low-baller and wasting money managing the contractor or fixing problems and suffering delays without a contingency.
 
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