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(Philly.com)   "Fruits and vegetables may reduce risk of death." Subby is pretty sure that his risk of death is still 100%   (philly.com) divider line 19
    More: Interesting, Journal of Epidemiology, fruits, vegetables, United States dollar, community health  
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764 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2014 at 2:47 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-01 01:17:01 PM  
You'll be lucky to get out of life alive.
 
2014-04-01 02:57:33 PM  
My 200th greenlight!

/ Now I can die happy.
// *ack*
/// (thud)
 
2014-04-01 03:04:39 PM  
www.uni-liger.com
 
2014-04-01 03:18:58 PM  
This is clearly an April Fool story.

How can you have nutritional advice without including whisky and bacon?
 
2014-04-01 03:28:47 PM  
Dick Cheney would like a word with you.
 
2014-04-01 03:29:29 PM  
Are there actually people who don't eat fruits and vegetables if they're available?
Wait, I know at least one. She weighs 300 lbs and calls fruit and vegetables 'poison'. Her diet consists of fried food, pastries, nachos, bread, processed meat, and Starbucks sugar bombs.
Even regular meat is "icky".
 
2014-04-01 03:32:42 PM  

El Dudereno: Are there actually people who don't eat fruits and vegetables if they're available?
Wait, I know at least one. She weighs 300 lbs and calls fruit and vegetables 'poison'. Her diet consists of fried food, pastries, nachos, bread, processed meat, and Starbucks sugar bombs.
Even regular meat is "icky".



Stereotypes are lazy. i know one too. He happens to be one of my two best friends. He won't even let them out lettuce on his cheeseburger. Everything is meats and starches. But he works outside and he apparently has a good metabolism. Not fat at all
 
2014-04-01 03:45:21 PM  
Cybernetic:Subby is pretty sure that his risk of death is still 100%

Not true there are billions of people who have never died.  There is a possibility that at least some may not ever you can't know for sure until all the numbers are in
 
2014-04-01 03:53:47 PM  

Cheron: Cybernetic:Subby is pretty sure that his risk of death is still 100%

Not true there are billions of people who have never died.  There is a possibility that at least some may not ever you can't know for sure until all the numbers are in


"I'm not dead yet"
 
2014-04-01 03:54:51 PM  

El Dudereno: Are there actually people who don't eat fruits and vegetables if they're available?
Wait, I know at least one. She weighs 300 lbs and calls fruit and vegetables 'poison'. Her diet consists of fried food, pastries, nachos, bread, processed meat, and Starbucks sugar bombs.
Even regular meat is "icky".


Sounds like a looker.
 
2014-04-01 03:59:52 PM  

Cheron: Cybernetic:Subby is pretty sure that his risk of death is still 100%

Not true there are billions of people who have never died.  There is a possibility that at least some may not ever you can't know for sure until all the numbers are in


It's actually a pretty hih percentage of all the people who have ever lived.
 
2014-04-01 04:04:13 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: El Dudereno: Are there actually people who don't eat fruits and vegetables if they're available?
Wait, I know at least one. She weighs 300 lbs and calls fruit and vegetables 'poison'. Her diet consists of fried food, pastries, nachos, bread, processed meat, and Starbucks sugar bombs.
Even regular meat is "icky".


Stereotypes are lazy. i know one too. He happens to be one of my two best friends. He won't even let them out lettuce on his cheeseburger. Everything is meats and starches. But he works outside and he apparently has a good metabolism. Not fat at all


My mom hates fruit and vegetables. It's always been meat & potatoes, or bread. Oh and pies and cakes.

She's 88 and still can get around on her own and take care of her house.

So let's make out bunny food.
 
2014-04-01 04:05:28 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: DROxINxTHExWIND: El Dudereno: Are there actually people who don't eat fruits and vegetables if they're available?
Wait, I know at least one. She weighs 300 lbs and calls fruit and vegetables 'poison'. Her diet consists of fried food, pastries, nachos, bread, processed meat, and Starbucks sugar bombs.
Even regular meat is "icky".


Stereotypes are lazy. i know one too. He happens to be one of my two best friends. He won't even let them out lettuce on his cheeseburger. Everything is meats and starches. But he works outside and he apparently has a good metabolism. Not fat at all

My mom hates fruit and vegetables. It's always been meat & potatoes, or bread. Oh and pies and cakes.

She's 88 and still can get around on her own and take care of her house.

So let's make out bunny food.


Oh ha ha this website has diddled the autoreplace.

/booWIEs
 
2014-04-01 04:05:36 PM  

Cheron: Cybernetic:Subby is pretty sure that his risk of death is still 100%

Not true there are billions of people who have never died.  There is a possibility that at least some may not ever you can't know for sure until all the numbers are in


Given his name, I'm assuming that Cybernetic has probably died at least once and had his brain stuffed into a machine which, not being able to climb stairs effectively, has for several centuries been stuck in his Mom's basement and has thus naturally adapted to Fark.

So I'm not inclined to trust his views on death much.
 
2014-04-01 05:16:40 PM  
KEEP TALKING PEOPLE!!11!!

I AM STILL PLOTTING YOUR DEMISE!!1

NONE OF YOU WILL GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE!11

/1 apr
//or as I call it
///start drinking before I get out of bed day
 
2014-04-01 05:18:45 PM  
Fruit can be quite dangerous. Particularly when wielded by a determined assailant. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-01 05:46:21 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: You'll be lucky to get out of life alive.


Yeah. In fact, life is the leading cause of death.
 
2014-04-01 07:35:45 PM  
People are still keen on the idea that once the correct formula for the magic diet is found, they only need to follow it in order to live forever.

Good luck with that.
 
2014-04-01 10:42:26 PM  

Cybernetic: My 200th greenlight!

/ Now I can die happy.
// *ack*
/// (thud)


And we were just about to award you this cake
i.imgur.com
 
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