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(Slate)   Dear Prudie, I want to propose to my twin brother's drunken one night stand. She's been dating me, and only banged him the one time. Does she really need to know she got in on with her future BIL?   (slate.com) divider line 80
    More: Strange, Prudi, Prudie advises, Minnesota Twins  
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5746 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2014 at 1:12 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-01 11:10:21 AM
What if the brothers have been taking turns hitting that?
 
2014-04-01 11:14:33 AM
Let your twin brother hit it from behind. Then you go outside, and wave at her through the window.
 
2014-04-01 11:16:22 AM
That story makes no farking sense at all.
 
2014-04-01 11:23:30 AM

exick: That story makes no farking sense at all.


Meow said the dog and Spentmiles have been collaborating.
 
2014-04-01 01:15:52 PM
sounds like a threesome in the works.
 
2014-04-01 01:22:25 PM
Sounds like something a couple of fraternal embryos would do...sorry, I meant "frat bros."
 
2014-04-01 01:25:06 PM
Considering your brother's dick is 4 inches longer than yours, there's a decent chance she knows already.


/Prudie, call me.
//I need the work.
 
2014-04-01 01:25:35 PM
Meh, truth is overrated. The only reason to come clear is to prevent this from blowing up somewhere down the line. Better to get the drama out of the way before the wedding. As Prudie said, chances of this never coming out, without shooting the brother, is small to none.

/It isn't as if she is marrying him because of the one night stand
 
2014-04-01 01:26:05 PM

exick: That story makes no farking sense at all.


It's a case of the old switcheroo:

Twin A sleeps with woman
Twin A gives contact info of Twin B to woman next morning
Woman contacts Twin B thinking it's Twin A
Twin B realizes she's really cool and starts dating her
Woman has no idea she's dating Twin B when she initially slept with Twin A
This is all made up by Prudie to get clicks
 
2014-04-01 01:29:11 PM
What if its two sets of twins male and female that are married and they both have been secretly swapping. Mind.......Blown!
 
2014-04-01 01:30:58 PM

scottydoesntknow: exick: That story makes no farking sense at all.

It's a case of the old switcheroo:

Twin A sleeps with woman
Twin A gives contact info of Twin B to woman next morning
Woman contacts Twin B thinking it's Twin A
Twin B realizes she's really cool and starts dating her
Woman has no idea she's dating Twin B when she initially slept with Twin A
This is all made up by Prudie to get clicks


Sounds like a bad Adam Sandler movie with him playing both of the twins.
 
2014-04-01 01:31:30 PM

scottydoesntknow: exick: That story makes no farking sense at all.

It's a case of the old switcheroo:

Twin A sleeps with woman
Twin A gives contact info of Twin B to woman next morning
Woman contacts Twin B thinking it's Twin A
Twin B realizes she's really cool and starts dating her
Woman has no idea she's dating Twin B when she initially slept with Twin A
This is all made up by Prudie to get clicks


ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2014-04-01 01:31:59 PM
Isn't one twin always gay?  I'm pretty sure that is a biological fact.
 
2014-04-01 01:32:07 PM

Fano: exick: That story makes no farking sense at all.

Meow said the dog and Spentmiles have been collaborating.


Nah, meow's too much of an artist for a boring story like this.
 
2014-04-01 01:32:22 PM
My brother and I can't be the only twins with an ironclad no-touching policy on any girl the other one has been with. If this had been us, I wouldn't have cared how great that girl he banged was. DO NOT WANT.

/thankfully, was never an issue
 
2014-04-01 01:32:36 PM
This sounds like the plot of a new Luke and Owen Wilson movie.

"Fradentical" - When

Mark and Mathew are identical twins who finger-banged the same girl in Jr. high. When they grow up to look nothing like one another and meet the same girl as adults, how will the crazy brothers explain that they both tickled her pink under the bleachers that day before one of them marries her?

Will she ever be able to tell them apart?

Will they be able to keep their secret?

Will Owen Wilson make that stupid face?

/Rated R
 
2014-04-01 01:34:42 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: This sounds like the plot of a new Luke and Owen Wilson movie.

"Fradentical" - When

Mark and Mathew are identical twins who finger-banged the same girl in Jr. high. When they grow up to look nothing like one another and meet the same girl as adults, how will the crazy brothers explain that they both tickled her pink under the bleachers that day before one of them marries her?

Will she ever be able to tell them apart?

Will they be able to keep their secret?

Will Owen Wilson make that stupid face?

/Rated R


Sadly, I've seen worse movies.
 
2014-04-01 01:36:07 PM

Buttknuckle: Isn't one twin always gay?  I'm pretty sure that is a biological fact.


bisexual people are obviously all twins who've partially absorbed their sibling's body in utero.  that explains it now!
 
2014-04-01 01:36:35 PM
No see after you propose, she says "finally!" then rips off her mask and she's a beautiful 13 year old.  And that's his story your honor and he's sticking to it.

/magic golf frog
 
2014-04-01 01:38:55 PM

forteblast: My brother and I can't be the only twins with an ironclad no-touching policy on any girl the other one has been with. If this had been us, I wouldn't have cared how great that girl he banged was. DO NOT WANT.

/thankfully, was never an issue


So you never went down on a gal and said "Hey you taste like my brother"
 
2014-04-01 01:39:26 PM
Lesson; stick to conjoined twins.
 
2014-04-01 01:39:36 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: This sounds like the plot of a new Luke and Owen Wilson movie.

"Fradentical" - When

Mark and Mathew are identical twins who finger-banged the same girl in Jr. high. When they grow up to look nothing like one another and meet the same girl as adults, how will the crazy brothers explain that they both tickled her pink under the bleachers that day before one of them marries her?

Will she ever be able to tell them apart?

Will they be able to keep their secret?

Will Owen Wilson make that stupid face?

/Rated R


Wait, exactly when is Owen Wilson NOT making that stupid face?
 
2014-04-01 01:42:29 PM
I'm more annoyed at the last story (on page 2) where the girl is pissed that her husband-to-be is very financially responsible.  [redacted by the NSA]?
 
2014-04-01 01:43:20 PM

stupiddream: Sounds like a bad Adam Sandler movie with him playing both of the twins.


And the woman.
 
2014-04-01 01:43:29 PM
Lovin' some April Fools filterpawn!
 
2014-04-01 01:45:21 PM
The transatlantic wedding bullshiat was way worse.
 
2014-04-01 01:45:50 PM
Wow... a Dear Prudence column on April 1.  Does "not real" obey additive rules or is it multiplicative?  I'm not sure whether to call Bullshiat twice or Bullshiat squared.
 
2014-04-01 01:46:47 PM
All of the Dear Prudie questions are fictional.
 
2014-04-01 01:50:55 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Let your twin brother hit it from behind. Then you go outside, and wave at her through the window.


Wave what at her?
 
2014-04-01 01:55:23 PM

2chris2: All of the Dear Prudie questions are fictional.


I believe Prudie herself is half Scottish and half fictional.
 
2014-04-01 01:55:45 PM
That's even trollier than what Neil deGrasse Tyson did to Gravity on Twitter!
 
2014-04-01 01:58:44 PM
Sounds legit.
 
2014-04-01 01:58:54 PM

groppet: forteblast: My brother and I can't be the only twins with an ironclad no-touching policy on any girl the other one has been with. If this had been us, I wouldn't have cared how great that girl he banged was. DO NOT WANT.

/thankfully, was never an issue

So you never went down on a gal and said "Hey you taste like my brother"


ajikaslafma.wikispaces.com
 
2014-04-01 02:04:00 PM

scottydoesntknow: exick: That story makes no farking sense at all.

It's a case of the old switcheroo:

Twin A sleeps with woman
Twin A gives contact info of Twin B to woman next morning
Woman contacts Twin B thinking it's Twin A
Twin B realizes she's really cool and starts dating her
Woman has no idea she's dating Twin B when she initially slept with Twin A
This is all made up by Prudie to get clicks


Now now, she's a professional with a certain ethical standard to maintain.

/whoever wrote the letter made it up.
 
2014-04-01 02:07:03 PM

Buttknuckle: Isn't one twin always gay?  I'm pretty sure that is a biological fact.


I think one twin is always evil, not sure about gay.
 
2014-04-01 02:07:09 PM
I wonder what would happen if the chick got knocked up. How do you prove who is the baby daddy when they are genetically the same?
 
2014-04-01 02:08:13 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Let your twin brother hit it from behind. Then you go outside, and wave at her through the window.


img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-01 02:09:11 PM
I'm pretty sure Prudie saved that letter for Love a Marsupial Day.
 
2014-04-01 02:10:10 PM
It took a minute but I follow now.  If he does tell her she is going to feel very foolish and full of shame.
DO IT!
 
2014-04-01 02:12:06 PM

Lord Farkwad: I wonder what would happen if the chick got knocked up. How do you prove who is the baby daddy when they are genetically the same?


I think I saw that episode. If I recall correctly, Stabler tries to beat the information out of one twin, but Munch ends up guilting the other one into confessing with a moving story about his own father's suicide. Of course, they all kind of bleed together after a while.
 
2014-04-01 02:15:53 PM

Rand's lacy underwear: groppet: forteblast: My brother and I can't be the only twins with an ironclad no-touching policy on any girl the other one has been with. If this had been us, I wouldn't have cared how great that girl he banged was. DO NOT WANT.

/thankfully, was never an issue

So you never went down on a gal and said "Hey you taste like my brother"

[ajikaslafma.wikispaces.com image 201x228]


I was thinking of that one from Family Guy where everybody's barfing, but that works too.
 
2014-04-01 02:16:03 PM
I say go for it...

It worked fine for the Kennedys.
 
2014-04-01 02:16:46 PM

Lord Farkwad: I wonder what would happen if the chick got knocked up. How do you prove who is the baby daddy when they are genetically the same?


My Two Dads.
 
2014-04-01 02:18:53 PM

AliasSally: I'm more annoyed at the last story (on page 2) where the girl is pissed that her husband-to-be is very financially responsible.  [redacted by the NSA]?


That one bothered me too. Especially when she said he owned a condo in Back Bay. I checked the prices, they start at $400,000 for a 400sqft condo.
 
2014-04-01 02:28:25 PM
As a guy who once dated female twins this type of she-nanigans was the reason I stopped. Notice I used "twins" because you never date just a twin...you only think you do.
 
2014-04-01 02:32:06 PM

Jim_Callahan: Wow... a Dear Prudence column on April 1.  Does "not real" obey additive rules or is it multiplicative?  I'm not sure whether to call Bullshiat twice or Bullshiat squared.


I'm thinking the April Fools joke here would be to actually run a REAL letter.
 
2014-04-01 02:33:12 PM

AliasSally: I'm more annoyed at the last story (on page 2) where the girl is pissed that her husband-to-be is very financially responsible.


Yeah, he should run far, far, away. "What is he doing saving money when he could be spending it on tropical vacations, damn it?"
 
2014-04-01 02:41:24 PM

Jim_Callahan: Wow... a Dear Prudence column on April 1.  Does "not real" obey additive rules or is it multiplicative?  I'm not sure whether to call Bullshiat twice or Bullshiat squared.


It's BB
 
2014-04-01 02:42:25 PM

AliasSally: I'm more annoyed at the last story (on page 2) where the girl is pissed that her husband-to-be is very financially responsible.  [redacted by the NSA]?


Same. 2 years and an international trip and several around the US is pretty good.

Also their priorities are out of whack. It ain't about the money.

And anytime someone says the phrase "quality of life" and it's not in relation to cancer patients or starving kids, they're probably a moron.
 
2014-04-01 02:43:04 PM

Lord Farkwad: I wonder what would happen if the chick got knocked up. How do you prove who is the baby daddy when they are genetically the same?


Right hand to God, I once faced that exact question while working in a  Family Court.  To make matters worse, whichever one of them was the father almost certainly impregnated the woman during a "Satan's Threesome" they all had one night (still swear I am not making any of this up)

Now, as someone on this thread, will undoubtedly point out, Identical twins do not have EXACTLY identical DNA owing to transcription errors that creep in as they age.  However Paternity test do not test your entire genome just 35 specific Alleles , so for paternity testing purposes they ARE identical.

Worse yet the brothers were smart enough to demand separate paternity trials where each would undoubtedly have blamed the other brother (and had the DNA test to prove it) which would have created enough doubt in the mind of any rational judge or juror that they would be unlikely to find paternity.

We dealt with the case via a VERY clever judge making the following ruling: if DNA(and blood type)  testing would not work in this case, it was necessary for the court to adopt the legal standard that existed before Blood testing was available.  Since that standard was that you WERE the father if the woman could prove that you had sex with her and she said you were the father, BOTH men met that legal standard, and as long case law has held, a legal verdict may be at odds with physical reality without being invalid (two men at separate trials can both be convicted for firing a fatal shot that only one of them could have actually fired, and both verdicts will stand)

Ergo he ruled them BOTH the father and made them each pay half the child support
 
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