Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Okay, killing your cousin for "accidentally" touching the bride's butt we get. But cooking and feeding him to wedding guests?   (ensign.ftlcomm.com) divider line 51
    More: Sick  
•       •       •

11888 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2014 at 10:32 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-04-01 10:06:42 AM  
I eat cannibals.
It's incredible.

http://youtu.be/d4O1A-mmBWw
 
2014-04-01 10:25:36 AM  
Rookie mistake. Restaurants and cookouts ARE a great way to get rid of a body. Especially if you have a pizza oven which can carbonize a whole human in relative comfort and ease, and the clean up is fair easy if you take the time really cook it down, but the key is to do it in someone else's place, with someone else's equipment. Ideally, no one you know well, or are competing with. Kitchen locks are good, but not that good, and any decent chef has some minor lock popping skills from years of NOT wanting to wait for the keys from someone else.

Freezing the sucker to confuse time of death, and dumping it another joint's garbage bin is another, but you do run the risk of some attention, so you'd best do it late, and preferably AFTER anyone else from the joint might catch you. And early in the week so the bag is covered by their own refuse fair quickly.

Cooking someone to feed to folks you know, that's just being a showoff, and professionally, I can't get behind that. Yes, you can mitigate your food cost that way AND improve employee morale by 86ing annoying customers, but that's not worth getting caught. Just saying.

/why yes, I am divorced...
 
2014-04-01 10:27:11 AM  
The wedding was OK, but the Stu seemed a little off.
 
2014-04-01 10:31:47 AM  

ManateeGag: The wedding was OK, but the Stu seemed a little off.



i283.photobucket.com
"No Stu for you!"
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-04-01 10:32:59 AM  
huWIEstubert

In the 1990s I remember eating nachos at Iron Horse. The lumpy topping was hard to discern in the dim light so I assumed it was just the usual. Who or what did I really eat?
 
2014-04-01 10:33:01 AM  
media.comicbook.com
 
2014-04-01 10:36:19 AM  
I bet it tastes better than Balut
 
2014-04-01 10:36:40 AM  
They were hungry again 30 minutes later
 
2014-04-01 10:36:42 AM  
Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay's body using coconut leaves and
kerosene,


If you're cooking with kerosene, you gotta use top level coconut leaves. Fresher the better.
 
2014-04-01 10:37:51 AM  
I wonder how the corpse would taste now that it (and lots of other articles on 4/1) have been aged for a decade?
 
2014-04-01 10:38:36 AM  
Shut up and eat your cousin.
 
2014-04-01 10:40:57 AM  
Copyright 2004 The Associated Press.
 
2014-04-01 10:42:58 AM  
I think I saw that movie 25 years ago. It was a weird one.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-04-01 10:43:08 AM  

ZAZ: huWIEstubert

In the 1990s I remember eating nachos at Iron Horse. The lumpy topping was hard to discern in the dim light so I assumed it was just the usual. Who or what did I really eat?


What did I say? You NEVER serve such at your own joint. Packards...that's a whole different story. Possibly.

/I was at the Iron Horse in the late 90s and left around 2002.
//yeah, I had a serious job in bringing the kitchen standards up.
///Geordie ran the place into the ground for years, before he got bought out, and it was the best thing to happen to the old girl. Kitchen actually started making decent food, AND it actually became profitable.
////Seriously. 45% labor when I came in, and about 40% for food cost. I got both down to about 26% in my four years, but it was less a struggle with an owner that wanted to make a profit AND bring up the kitchen rep...
 
2014-04-01 10:43:37 AM  
sendtodave


Copyright 2004 The Associated Press.

[thatsthejoke.jpg]
 
2014-04-01 10:43:37 AM  
www.g-pop.net
 
2014-04-01 10:43:59 AM  
soylent green is filipino
 
2014-04-01 10:44:03 AM  
If I had a nickel for every time that's happened to me...
 
2014-04-01 10:46:30 AM  

hubiestubert: Rookie mistake. Restaurants and cookouts ARE a great way to get rid of a body. Especially if you have a pizza oven which can carbonize a whole human in relative comfort and ease, and the clean up is fair easy if you take the time really cook it down, but the key is to do it in someone else's place, with someone else's equipment. Ideally, no one you know well, or are competing with. Kitchen locks are good, but not that good, and any decent chef has some minor lock popping skills from years of NOT wanting to wait for the keys from someone else.

Freezing the sucker to confuse time of death, and dumping it another joint's garbage bin is another, but you do run the risk of some attention, so you'd best do it late, and preferably AFTER anyone else from the joint might catch you. And early in the week so the bag is covered by their own refuse fair quickly.

Cooking someone to feed to folks you know, that's just being a showoff, and professionally, I can't get behind that. Yes, you can mitigate your food cost that way AND improve employee morale by 86ing annoying customers, but that's not worth getting caught. Just saying.

/why yes, I am divorced...


o_O


/yes I know it's April 1
//bravo!
 
2014-04-01 10:46:30 AM  
Ah, the White Glove Society.

/too posh
 
2014-04-01 10:46:46 AM  
[redacted by the NSA] did that download a pdf to my phone?
 
2014-04-01 10:49:59 AM  
Cuts down on catering costs.
 
2014-04-01 10:51:13 AM  

OddLlama: [redacted by the NSA] did that download a pdf to my phone?


Yup mine too.
 
2014-04-01 10:51:54 AM  
driftlessareareview.files.wordpress.com

Was that wrong? Was I not supposed to do that?
 
2014-04-01 10:52:13 AM  
 
2014-04-01 10:54:56 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-04-01 10:57:10 AM  
So did the groom make a decent proposal?
 
2014-04-01 10:57:55 AM  
Modes proposal, dammi
 
2014-04-01 10:58:55 AM  
animeaudiolog.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-04-01 10:59:15 AM  

phaseolus: I think I saw that movie 25 years ago. It was a weird one.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 345x146]



It was a bad movie.  It's ok to have forgotten it.
 
2014-04-01 10:59:17 AM  
That's a rather tender subject.

/Another slice, anyone?
//RHPSFTW
 
2014-04-01 11:01:11 AM  

tripleseven: OddLlama: [redacted by the NSA] did that download a pdf to my phone?

Yup mine too.


Ditto.
 
2014-04-01 11:01:16 AM  

huWIEstubert: ZAZ: huWIEstubert

In the 1990s I remember eating nachos at Iron Horse. The lumpy topping was hard to discern in the dim light so I assumed it was just the usual. Who or what did I really eat?

What did I say? You NEVER serve such at your own joint. Packards...that's a whole different story. Possibly.

/I was at the Iron Horse in the late 90s and left around 2002.
//yeah, I had a serious job in bringing the kitchen standards up.
///Geordie ran the place into the ground for years, before he got bought out, and it was the best thing to happen to the old girl. Kitchen actually started making decent food, AND it actually became profitable.
////Seriously. 45% labor when I came in, and about 40% for food cost. I got both down to about 26% in my four years, but it was less a struggle with an owner that wanted to make a profit AND bring up the kitchen rep...



How do you expect Geordie to run a place?

www.protias.com
 
2014-04-01 11:01:52 AM  

OregonVet: [www.g-pop.net image 400x321]


That was a pretty good movie.  Couldn't have happened to a nicer fellow ;)
 
2014-04-01 11:05:48 AM  

Langdon Alger: They were hungry again 30 minutes later


31.media.tumblr.com

At least they weren't being racist about it.
 
2014-04-01 11:11:38 AM  
What, no Florida tag?

/disappointed

cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2014-04-01 11:12:33 AM  

whosits_112: huWIEstubert: ZAZ: huWIEstubert

In the 1990s I remember eating nachos at Iron Horse. The lumpy topping was hard to discern in the dim light so I assumed it was just the usual. Who or what did I really eat?

What did I say? You NEVER serve such at your own joint. Packards...that's a whole different story. Possibly.

/I was at the Iron Horse in the late 90s and left around 2002.
//yeah, I had a serious job in bringing the kitchen standards up.
///Geordie ran the place into the ground for years, before he got bought out, and it was the best thing to happen to the old girl. Kitchen actually started making decent food, AND it actually became profitable.
////Seriously. 45% labor when I came in, and about 40% for food cost. I got both down to about 26% in my four years, but it was less a struggle with an owner that wanted to make a profit AND bring up the kitchen rep...


How do you expect Geordie to run a place?

[www.protias.com image 360x270]


In our case, Geordie was the guy who started the Iron Horse Music Hall, and in fairness, he IS brilliant at recognizing talent, and fantastic with booking. Yes, he saw the brilliance of The Story when the girls were students at Smith, yes, he saw the potential with The Pixies early on, and has nursed a lot of talent over the years through creative booking and hooking folks up with other gigs. He is terrible at keeping books or actually running a restaurant/bar and the guy who now owns the Iron Horse has three other stages, bought up the ticket office in town so that he has the means to production to fuel his joints, and exclusive booking for several other stages around the area. Which gives Geordie a chance to really shine, and takes the onus of actually making the enterprises profitable far and away from his concern. Little creepy and hands on with the staff, but now that he's not constant proximity to the waitstaff, there is a lot less discomfort on those late night runs to the hot tubs up the street...
 
2014-04-01 11:13:10 AM  
And next week on...
 
2014-04-01 11:14:38 AM  

VladTheEmailer: And next week on...


(try that again)

img.fark.net
 
2014-04-01 11:24:46 AM  
Hey Tantalus, this is pretty good.  Where did you say this meat came from?
 
2014-04-01 11:26:11 AM  

slayer199: [media.comicbook.com image 638x413]


Speaking of, did it seem to you that the big reveal was really rushed?
 
2014-04-01 11:42:18 AM  
Sounds tantalizing. Was the cousin named Pelops Pinoy?
 
2014-04-01 12:03:25 PM  
Without reading, I'm guessing this is from either Africa or the Deep South.


Damn, Manila? I thought the Philippians were cool.
 
2014-04-01 12:48:18 PM  
Seems like a practical and cost effective solution to me. Why waste all that meat?
 
2014-04-01 01:31:09 PM  

phaseolus: I think I saw that movie 25 years ago. It was a weird one.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 345x146]


Came here for this.

And again, I can NEVER see Michael Gambon as Dumbledore without thinking of that movie.

www.livingbohemian.com

Guess I'll have to settle for Tim Curry.
 
2014-04-01 01:34:44 PM  
 
2014-04-01 01:55:43 PM  

huWIEstubert: ZAZ: huWIEstubert

In the 1990s I remember eating nachos at Iron Horse. The lumpy topping was hard to discern in the dim light so I assumed it was just the usual. Who or what did I really eat?

What did I say? You NEVER serve such at your own joint. Packards...that's a whole different story. Possibly.

/I was at the Iron Horse in the late 90s and left around 2002.
//yeah, I had a serious job in bringing the kitchen standards up.
///Geordie ran the place into the ground for years, before he got bought out, and it was the best thing to happen to the old girl. Kitchen actually started making decent food, AND it actually became profitable.
////Seriously. 45% labor when I came in, and about 40% for food cost. I got both down to about 26% in my four years, but it was less a struggle with an owner that wanted to make a profit AND bring up the kitchen rep...


The Ironhorse in Crystal MN? I've spent some time there in years gone by before they closed.
 
2014-04-01 02:24:39 PM  

hubiestubert: Rookie mistake. Restaurants and cookouts ARE a great way to get rid of a body. Especially if you have a pizza oven which can carbonize a whole human in relative comfort and ease, and the clean up is fair easy if you take the time really cook it down, but the key is to do it in someone else's place, with someone else's equipment. Ideally, no one you know well, or are competing with. Kitchen locks are good, but not that good, and any decent chef has some minor lock popping skills from years of NOT wanting to wait for the keys from someone else.

Freezing the sucker to confuse time of death, and dumping it another joint's garbage bin is another, but you do run the risk of some attention, so you'd best do it late, and preferably AFTER anyone else from the joint might catch you. And early in the week so the bag is covered by their own refuse fair quickly.

Cooking someone to feed to folks you know, that's just being a showoff, and professionally, I can't get behind that. Yes, you can mitigate your food cost that way AND improve employee morale by 86ing annoying customers, but that's not worth getting caught. Just saying.

/why yes, I am divorced...


You need to read about the lady who wrote the "A is for Alibi" series.
 
2014-04-01 05:08:34 PM  

RussianPooper: I bet it tastes better than Balut


Just wash it down with some San Miguel.
 
2014-04-01 10:36:43 PM  
Did they tell the guests it was kangaroo meat?

/obscure?
 
Displayed 50 of 51 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report