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(China Daily)   "What did the doctor say?" "Farker, he said, you're gonna die"   (chinadaily.com.cn ) divider line
    More: Scary  
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5382 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2014 at 2:44 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-04-01 01:46:55 PM  
Nope, because masturbation counts.
 
2014-04-01 02:25:21 PM  
The two highest activity levels -- 13 to 20 ejaculations a month, and at least 21 a month -- were linked with decreased cancer risks of 14 percent and 33 percent respectively.


This means my chance of getting cancer is about 0.00000000017%
 
2014-04-01 02:48:25 PM  
please learn to use quotations submitter. uuuuuuhhhhhg.
 
2014-04-01 02:51:52 PM  

show me: Nope, because masturbation counts.


Please think of the kittens.
 
2014-04-01 02:53:15 PM  
On average, the men overall had four to seven ejaculations a month. No increased risk of prostate cancer was seen in men who reported more frequent ejaculations, and there appeared to be a decreased risk in men with the highest reported levels.

The two highest activity levels -- 13 to 20 ejaculations a month, and at least 21 a month -- were linked with decreased cancer risks of 14 percent and 33 percent respectively.


[redacted by the NSA] @ the bolded. Are they married or something?
 
2014-04-01 02:53:36 PM  
He said "I'm next"  img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-04-01 02:56:04 PM  
Welcome to the jungle.
 
2014-04-01 02:57:18 PM  
One in every six men will develop it.

That's why if I see five guys someplace, I won't go in there. If I'm on the bus and dude number 6 gets on, I won't be a prisoner. I'll go out and ride on the bumper.

Could only go in a strip bar between noon and 3 pm.
 
2014-04-01 02:57:40 PM  
So... "PROSTI"tutes really can help the prostate? And even save lives? Law makers never saw that coming...
 
2014-04-01 03:06:18 PM  
IS THIS CR*P GOING TO LAST A FULL 24 HOURS?
OR WILL IT END SOONER????

I HAVEN'T FOUND ONE THAT WAS EVEN SLIGHTLY AMUSING. BUT I SUPPOSE I CAN DO SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE WITH MY TIME INSTEAD OF WASTING IT HERE!

THANKS FARK.
 
2014-04-01 03:20:36 PM  
FTA: "But relatively few men in the study reported heavy sexual activity, so more research is needed to establish whether there is, in fact, a link, said Dr. Michael Leitzmann, a researcher at the National Cancer Institute who led the study."

"It's too early to suggest that men should change their sexual habits to alter their prostate cancer risk," he said.



I am pretty sure almost all men want to change their sexual habits to reduce their cancer risk (i.e. more sex).  Please put the valuable few dollars we allot for research in this country to find out how to change wives sexual habits to decrease their husband's prostate cancer risk.  You can suggest all you want that men should have more sex, and we will agree with you; it is who we have sex with that will need the convincing.

Just to save a little time, presenting this report (or any report) stating more sex leads to reduced cancer risk to our wives will not be convincing enough.  For starters, if the report is more than a page, then our wives won't believe that we read the whole thing.

Thank you
Representative of the Married Men's Club
 
2014-04-01 03:42:17 PM  
Well I went to the doctor,
Said" I'm feeling kinda rough."
"Let me break to you son,
Your shiat's farked up."

I said "My shiat's farked up?
Well I don't see how."
He said the shiat that used to work,
won't work now
 
2014-04-01 03:54:07 PM  
FTA: "It's too early to suggest that men should change their sexual habits to alter their prostate cancer risk," he said.

I am sure most men would happily change their sexual habits to increase frequency given a choice,  even if the report said that more sex would give them prostate cancer.
 
2014-04-01 04:24:34 PM  
So less sex means we die earlier?  Better not let the wife find out.
 
2014-04-01 05:13:15 PM  

Hyjamon: FTA: "But relatively few men in the study reported heavy sexual activity, so more research is needed to establish whether there is, in fact, a link, said Dr. Michael Leitzmann, a researcher at the National Cancer Institute who led the study."

"It's too early to suggest that men should change their sexual habits to alter their prostate cancer risk," he said.


I am pretty sure almost all men want to change their sexual habits to reduce their cancer risk (i.e. more sex).  Please put the valuable few dollars we allot for research in this country to find out how to change wives sexual habits to decrease their husband's prostate cancer risk.  You can suggest all you want that men should have more sex, and we will agree with you; it is who we have sex with that will need the convincing.

Just to save a little time, presenting this report (or any report) stating more sex leads to reduced cancer risk to our wives will not be convincing enough.  For starters, if the report is more than a page, then our wives won't believe that we read the whole thing.

Thank you
Representative of the Married Men's Club


I forwarded this article to my wife in an email titled "Only YOU can prevent prostrate cancer"
 
2014-04-01 05:26:33 PM  

bratface: IS THIS CR*P GOING TO LAST A FULL 24 HOURS?
OR WILL IT END SOONER????

I HAVEN'T FOUND ONE THAT WAS EVEN SLIGHTLY AMUSING. BUT I SUPPOSE I CAN DO SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE WITH MY TIME INSTEAD OF WASTING IT HERE!

THANKS FARK.


www.reactionimage.org
 
2014-04-01 05:43:40 PM  

Rwa2play: bratface: IS THIS CR*P GOING TO LAST A FULL 24 HOURS?
OR WILL IT END SOONER????

I HAVEN'T FOUND ONE THAT WAS EVEN SLIGHTLY AMUSING. BUT I SUPPOSE I CAN DO SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE WITH MY TIME INSTEAD OF WASTING IT HERE!

THANKS FARK.

[www.reactionimage.org image 303x305]


Just a bit.

makemomentum.com
 
2014-04-01 06:26:53 PM  
Everyone's gonna die. Get used to it.

Or not. Whatever. You are still gonna die.
 
2014-04-01 09:34:58 PM  
My name is Sue, how do you do?
 
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