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(New York Daily News)   Chris Christie believes his lap band surgery will also help him shed his excess baggage by 2016   (nydailynews.com) divider line 43
    More: Unlikely, Chris Christie, Bridgegate, fox, Governor of New Jersey, Obama Presidency  
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489 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Apr 2014 at 10:46 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-04-01 09:20:02 AM  
Look, he's already been cleared by hand-picked cronies.  What more do you libtards want?
 
2014-04-01 09:58:45 AM  
We don't hate you because you're fat, Chris. We hate you because you're a mafioso piece of shiat and a bully. And fat.
 
2014-04-01 10:21:25 AM  
"Chris, while we were in there we decided to switch your ass and mouth, because we noticed a lot of sh*t seems to come out of your mouth."
 
2014-04-01 10:53:50 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-01 10:55:05 AM  
he actually is the republicans last chance.  independents will go for him
 
2014-04-01 11:04:31 AM  

ltdanman44: he actually is the republicans last chance.  independents will go for him


Not when his actual 'accomplishments' in NJ come out.
He is and always has been a media made man. He prosecuted a few corrupt R's and the media jumped all aboard the "see, he's nonpartisan' train. Once his budget and other conservative programs he's forced through start coming to light, he's done.

Assuming DOJ doesn't get to perp walk him out first due to Sandy money mismanagement.
 
2014-04-01 11:06:23 AM  
Anyway, won't matter. Big money is about to go to Jeb.

Many of the Republican Party's most powerful insiders and financiers have begun a behind-the-scenes campaign to draft former Florida governor Jeb Bush into the 2016 presidential race, courting him and his intimates and starting talks on fundraising strategy.

/out of 300+ million people, can't we find someone not named Bush or Clinton to run for President
 
2014-04-01 11:15:40 AM  

Witty_Retort: Anyway, won't matter. Big money is about to go to Jeb.

Many of the Republican Party's most powerful insiders and financiers have begun a behind-the-scenes campaign to draft former Florida governor Jeb Bush into the 2016 presidential race, courting him and his intimates and starting talks on fundraising strategy.

/out of 300+ million people, can't we find someone not named Bush or Clinton to run for President


Like Caroline Kennedy you mean?
 
2014-04-01 11:16:19 AM  

Diogenes: Look, he's already been cleared by hand-picked cronies.  What more do you libtards want?


I'm still pretty impressed that he managed to get his personal friends a paycheck from the tax payers in his own corruption investigation.
 
2014-04-01 11:17:22 AM  
Christie, nevertheless, hinted that he may still be the best choice.

"I think I'm older and more experienced," he said.


Than Jeb?!
 
2014-04-01 11:30:28 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Diogenes: Look, he's already been cleared by hand-picked cronies.  What more do you libtards want?

I'm still pretty impressed that he managed to get his personal friends a paycheck from the tax payers in his own corruption investigation.


Not really. When he was NJ prosecutor, DOJ had to make a special rule because he was funneling so much money to his friends as "fines and settlements" from companies.
 
2014-04-01 11:43:33 AM  
We get it, he's fat.

/I got nothin'
 
2014-04-01 11:45:34 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: We don't hate you because you're fat, Chris. We hate you because you're a mafioso piece of shiat and a bully. And fat.


Hilarious.
 
2014-04-01 11:53:44 AM  

mrshowrules: Like Caroline Kennedy you mean?


Caroline Kennedy is running for president?
 
2014-04-01 11:56:15 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: mrshowrules: Like Caroline Kennedy you mean?

Caroline Kennedy is running for president?


No but Carter's son possibly or the straight Cheney daughter.  I pretty sure you need to have a Whitehouse pedigree to run now.
 
2014-04-01 12:03:12 PM  
He's still that fat after having the surgery last year?
 
2014-04-01 12:16:30 PM  

Witty_Retort: ltdanman44: he actually is the republicans last chance.  independents will go for him

Not when his actual 'accomplishments' in NJ come out.
He is and always has been a media made man. He prosecuted a few corrupt R's and the media jumped all aboard the "see, he's nonpartisan' train. Once his budget and other conservative programs he's forced through start coming to light, he's done.

Assuming DOJ doesn't get to perp walk him out first due to Sandy money mismanagement.



It's the 'Blue State Playbook' -- "here's one [move] that blue-state Republicans - from Christie and King, to Rudy Giuilani - have been using for years to survive in hostile territory: Each has publicly picked a few strategic, rhetorical, largely non-policy disputes with his own party that made him seem independent and "above politics" - while continuing to pursue a conservative agenda all the while."

Link
 
2014-04-01 12:16:47 PM  
Chris Christie is so fat, they borrowed some of the rivets from the Golden Gate Bridge to keep his lap band from breaking apart.
 
2014-04-01 12:19:08 PM  
I was wildly disappointed when my plastic surgeon told me that lap band surgery didn't mean that I could have an amplifying sounding board installed above my vagina to masturbating sound like a funky slide blues song played on a Dobro.

And this is years after my triple G jugbands had exploded from overuse.
 
2014-04-01 12:26:20 PM  

Fart_Machine: He's still that fat after having the surgery last year?


He ate the surgeon and the supporting staff while he was anesthetized.  The surgery was then performed with waldos.
 
2014-04-01 12:28:11 PM  

Fart_Machine: He's still that fat after having the surgery last year?


The success rate is actually fairly low.  You still have to have the will power to eat like a bird.  Not a lot of people can do that it seems.
 
2014-04-01 12:30:51 PM  

ltdanman44: he actually is the republicans last chance.  independents will go for him


I am a Republican and I would not vote for him. Hell, I would vote for Hilary before I cast a vote for him.
 
2014-04-01 12:42:43 PM  

Pincy: Fart_Machine: He's still that fat after having the surgery last year?

The success rate is actually fairly low.  You still have to have the will power to eat like a bird.  Not a lot of people can do that it seems.


When I think "willpower", I think "Chris Christie".
 
2014-04-01 12:49:34 PM  
Jesus Chris, seriously don't do that.  Self-Mutilation is not an effective weight-loss trategy no matter what the quacks say.   I was once your weight and shaped like you.  Go full farking Atkins/Protien Power and you could drop all the extra in 3-6 months, and still actually enjoy eating
 
2014-04-01 12:50:16 PM  

Magorn: Jesus Chris, seriously don't do that.  Self-Mutilation is not an effective weight-loss trategy no matter what the quacks say.   I was once your weight and shaped like you.  Go full farking Atkins/Protien Power and you could drop all the extra in 3-6 months, and still actually enjoy eating



He had the surgery last year, IIRC
 
2014-04-01 12:55:21 PM  

Hollie Maea: Pincy: Fart_Machine: He's still that fat after having the surgery last year?

The success rate is actually fairly low.  You still have to have the will power to eat like a bird.  Not a lot of people can do that it seems.

When I think "willpower", I think "Chris Christie".


When I think "Chris Christie", I think "krill power"
 
2014-04-01 01:16:39 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-04-01 01:21:27 PM  
The best thing about Christie is his fat.
 
2014-04-01 01:21:42 PM  
well, i don't want him for president. I know 2 people who have died from lapo band surgery complications, years after they had em. This guy is huge, he'll never make it
 
2014-04-01 01:44:53 PM  
If he thinks it's tough to eat a healthy diet while being a state governor, wait until he tries doing it while campaigning for president. It's catered banquets and deep-fried state fair food all down the line.
 
2014-04-01 01:46:41 PM  
Chris Christie is so fat, when he sits around the house, he eats everything in it.
 
2014-04-01 01:51:04 PM  
Chris Christie is so fat, that when he goes to the mall, he is at higher risk for a variety of health problems.
 
2014-04-01 02:00:35 PM  
It's very courageous of him to open himself up to the media, especially after that controversial report which supposedly cleared him of any wrongdoing.  Clearly, he's not a wrongdoer.  So for him to expose himself to Fox News, and that ballcrusher Megyn Kelly, man, that took guts.  Or donuts.
 
2014-04-01 02:06:46 PM  
Christie's so massive, light bends around him.
 
2014-04-01 02:10:25 PM  
Bridgegate wasn't retribution, turns out Chris Christie drove across it the day before and they had check it for structural damage.
 
2014-04-01 02:37:21 PM  
Christie is so fat, whenever he walks up to a scale, the scale pulls out a gun and shoots itself right in the numbers.
 
2014-04-01 03:17:47 PM  

Diogenes: Christie's so massive, light bends around him.


They had to build the Large Hadron Collider in Europe because Chris Christie was disrupting all the experiments.
 
2014-04-01 03:22:45 PM  

monoski: ltdanman44: he actually is the republicans last chance.  independents will go for him

I am a Republican and I would not vote for him. Hell, I would vote for Hilary before I cast a vote for him.


Too moderate for your tastes?  Just wondering.
 
2014-04-01 03:56:45 PM  
Lap band surgery won't do anything for that big, fat farking head of his.  He'll look like a living bobblehead!
 
2014-04-01 04:04:21 PM  

bdub77: Diogenes: Christie's so massive, light bends around him.

They had to build the Large Hadron Collider in Europe because Chris Christie was disrupting all the experiments.


Christie is so fat, if he crossed a black hole's event horizon boundary, a voice from the black hole would scream, "One at a time!!!!  ONE AT A TIME!!!!!"
 
2014-04-01 05:19:47 PM  
Oh no, Mr Christie. They got you. They are all over it. They are just waiting for the right time to strike. Little reminders here and there are just to keep it fresh in your mind, for when they drop the hammer.
 
2014-04-01 05:26:57 PM  

Rann Xerox: bdub77: Diogenes: Christie's so massive, light bends around him.

They had to build the Large Hadron Collider in Europe because Chris Christie was disrupting all the experiments.

Christie is so fat, if he crossed a black hole's event horizon boundary, a voice from the black hole would scream, "One at a time!!!!  ONE AT A TIME!!!!!"


I figuratively Laughter OL'd.
 
2014-04-02 06:17:53 AM  
"Chris Christies lap band" would not be a good band name.
 
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