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(The Blemish)   Ken Ham is disgusted with Noah. Would like to wash the filth off himself   (theblemish.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Noah, box offices, Ken Ham  
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3286 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Mar 2014 at 6:57 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-31 04:39:38 PM  
www.hollyscoop.com
 
2014-03-31 05:21:00 PM  
How can we recommend this movie and then speak against abortion?

Dunno. The same way I can recommend "Scarface" and still speak against murder?
 
2014-03-31 05:25:31 PM  
Why shoudl I give a crap.
 
2014-03-31 05:29:23 PM  
This is a lot like the criticism Marvel or DC get when parts of their movies don't line up with the comic books. I could feel the spittle from his impotent nerd rage while reading this.

LOL.  As I said in the earlier greened article with the Fox priest who didn't like it, these guys are worse than comic book fanboys.
 
2014-03-31 05:30:33 PM  
Where were all these Christian critics crying about fidelity to scripture when the Left Behind books were all the rage?  Those things were horrible.
 
2014-03-31 05:37:46 PM  
"Psychopathic Noah sees humans as a blight on the planet and wants to rid the world of people."

Uhh, isn't that exactly what God thought, too?

"this movie is disgusting and evil-paganism! "

Noah was pagan. Abraham was the first debatably monotheistic person.

"The movie begins with (and also states later on), "In there beginning there was nothing." However, the Bible states, "In the beginning God" (Genesis 1:1). That really sums up the difference!"

Actually, the Bible begins "in the beginning of [sic] created God the heavens and the earth."

That's right, the bible starts with bad grammar (in Hebrew putting the verb before the subject is fine so "created god" is the actual order, but is properly translated as "god created").
 
2014-03-31 05:39:04 PM  

Diogenes: This is a lot like the criticism Marvel or DC get when parts of their movies don't line up with the comic books. I could feel the spittle from his impotent nerd rage while reading this.

LOL.  As I said in the earlier greened article with the Fox priest who didn't like it, these guys are worse than comic book fanboys.


No shiat! If you listen really hard you can literally hear the butthurt on ScreenRant over QS and Sw's costumes from the entertainment tab. Don't even get these guys started about Ant Man not making Ultron.
 
2014-03-31 05:39:30 PM  

Diogenes: Where were all these Christian critics crying about fidelity to scripture when the Left Behind books were all the rage?  Those things were horrible.


img.fark.net

http://www.lcms.org/Document.fdoc?src=lcm&id=406

PDF (Not a positive response)

/fark doesn't like the link, you'll have to copypasta if interested
 
2014-03-31 05:43:00 PM  

ScaryBottles: Ant Man not making Ultron.


api.ning.com
 
2014-03-31 06:05:20 PM  
Ken Ham is pork that has been cured, pressed into a can, and steam cooked. The result is a very stable, albeit somewhat bland, food product. Unlike conventional ham, the Ken variety will keep in less than ideal conditions, and since it tends to be made from cheap ingredients, it is a cheap source of protein. One of the most famous forms is SPAM®, a product that is not technically Ken Ham since it integrates several different cuts of meat.
 
2014-03-31 06:14:10 PM  
I bet the film makers lost him at the rock people.
 
2014-03-31 06:19:33 PM  
So Ham says it's not kosher?
 
2014-03-31 06:23:25 PM  

shanrick: Ken Ham is pork that has been cured, pressed into a can, and steam cooked. The result is a very stable, albeit somewhat bland, food product. Unlike conventional ham, the Ken variety will keep in less than ideal conditions, and since it tends to be made from cheap ingredients, it is a cheap source of protein. One of the most famous forms is SPAM®, a product that is not technically Ken Ham since it integrates several different cuts of meat.


www.seriouseats.com
 
2014-03-31 06:32:02 PM  
Had Ken Ham approved, I, for one, would have avoided this movie like a plague of locusts. Who's with me?
 
2014-03-31 06:37:08 PM  

This About That: Had Ken Ham approved, I, for one, would have avoided this movie like a plague of locusts. Who's with me?


Are you trying to imply that locusts don't like movies?
 
2014-03-31 06:42:29 PM  

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: This About That: Had Ken Ham approved, I, for one, would have avoided this movie like a plague of locusts. Who's with me?

Are you trying to imply that locusts don't like movies?


I have it on good authority that locusts love celluloid.
 
2014-03-31 07:19:07 PM  
Ham is the son that either had sex with Noah or castrated him causing his sons to become servants for the other two brothers,right?  Been a while since I read the story of Noah, any Biblical scholars out there that can slay us with some good time religion?
 
2014-03-31 07:20:23 PM  

shanrick: Ken Ham is pork that has been cured, pressed into a can, and steam cooked. The result is a very stable, albeit somewhat bland, food product. Unlike conventional ham, the Ken variety will keep in less than ideal conditions, and since it tends to be made from cheap ingredients, it is a cheap source of protein. One of the most famous forms is SPAM®, a product that is not technically Ken Ham since it integrates several different cuts of meat.


How is Ken Ham related to Ham Rove?
 
2014-03-31 07:34:37 PM  
If Ham wants to wash the filth from himself, he'll have to scrub until he disintegrates.
 
2014-03-31 07:40:27 PM  
[note... nsfw ad in sidebar.]
 
2014-03-31 07:41:09 PM  

nmrsnr: "Psychopathic Noah sees humans as a blight on the planet and wants to rid the world of people."

Uhh, isn't that exactly what God thought, too?

"this movie is disgusting and evil-paganism! "

Noah was pagan. Abraham was the first debatably monotheistic person.

"The movie begins with (and also states later on), "In there beginning there was nothing." However, the Bible states, "In the beginning God" (Genesis 1:1). That really sums up the difference!"

Actually, the Bible begins "in the beginning of [sic] created God the heavens and the earth."

That's right, the bible starts with bad grammar (in Hebrew putting the verb before the subject is fine so "created god" is the actual order, but is properly translated as "god created").


The extremely recently-translated version of the NASB has "1In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth -- 2and the earth was without form or shape, with darkness over the abyss and a mighty wind sweeping over the waters --"

The pretty but laughably antiquated and politically translated KJV, on the other hand, has "
1In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
2And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters."

There are several BIG differences there.
 
2014-03-31 07:42:20 PM  
Alright, give me a Ham on five, hold the Mayo.

/looks like I picked the wrong day for giving up posting the obvious responses
 
2014-03-31 07:42:55 PM  

TedCruz'sCrazyDad: Ham is the son that either had sex with Noah or castrated him causing his sons to become servants for the other two brothers,right?  Been a while since I read the story of Noah, any Biblical scholars out there that can slay us with some good time religion?


He raped his dad, not castrated him. That probably would have woke Noah up from even the most epic drunken stupor.
 
2014-03-31 07:44:11 PM  

This About That: Had Ken Ham approved, I, for one, would have avoided this movie like a plague of locusts. Who's with me?


Wait you're planning on seeing this steaming turd of a movie just because he doesn't like it?
 
2014-03-31 07:47:37 PM  

luidprand: The pretty but laughably antiquated and politically translated KJV, on the other hand, has "
1In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.


It's not just "politically" translated; the scholars who did the original KJV translation were mediocre in Hebrew at best.  They relied heavily on the Septuagint vuglate Latin translation and (even though it was considered heretical) the Tyndale translation, as Tyndale had at least bothered to learn Hebrew.
 
2014-03-31 07:52:06 PM  

luidprand: TedCruz'sCrazyDad: Ham is the son that either had sex with Noah or castrated him causing his sons to become servants for the other two brothers,right?  Been a while since I read the story of Noah, any Biblical scholars out there that can slay us with some good time religion?

He raped his dad saw his dad naked, not castrated him. That probably would have woke Noah up from even the most epic drunken stupor.


ftfy
 
2014-03-31 07:52:18 PM  

pedobearapproved: This About That: Had Ken Ham approved, I, for one, would have avoided this movie like a plague of locusts. Who's with me?

Wait you're planning on seeing this steaming turd of a movie just because he doesn't like it?


Might. Might wait until it's on Netflix.
 
2014-03-31 08:01:04 PM  
This is the same guy building a Noah's Arc theme park in Kentucky.
 
2014-03-31 08:01:05 PM  
I love this article about the whole Pope thing and Russell Crowe.  Apparently the whole "I met the Pope" was more like "I went to the Vatican" but nonetheless apparently he did catch the Pope's attention and he went 'whatever dude'.

http://variety.com/2014/film/news/noah-star-russell-crowe-breaks-his -s ilence-about-meeting-the-pope-1201148643/

Best quote from the article:
""They were no Christians when Noah was around," said  Mark Margolis, who plays Magog in the film. "There weren't even Jews. He was before all that. I think sailors will like it: it's very nautical."

Interesting "there were no Christians around" which is funny mixed in with "I think sailors will like it"  which is very odd attention seeking.
 
2014-03-31 08:02:44 PM  
I'll wash the filth off of me, too, as long as Emma Watson is in the shower with me.
 
2014-03-31 08:05:40 PM  

Diogenes: Where were all these Christian critics crying about fidelity to scripture when the Left Behind books were all the rage?  Those things were horrible.


That was different because all the rube-, sorry, faithful were lining up around the block to buy copies.

Glad those movies never went theatrical, or some poor kid would have been stuck on mop duty between showings. Pure Rapture porn.
 
2014-03-31 08:11:10 PM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2014-03-31 08:12:56 PM  
Film/review. It's nice to see that incoherance runs both ways.
 
2014-03-31 08:14:37 PM  

TedCruz'sCrazyDad: Ham is the son that either had sex with Noah or castrated him causing his sons to become servants for the other two brothers,right?  Been a while since I read the story of Noah, any Biblical scholars out there that can slay us with some good time religion?


Not even that.  He just saw his drunk dad passed out naked...so his sons became slaves...


And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.
9:19 These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.
Noah, the Drunk and Naked
9:20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
9:21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
The Curse of Canaan
9:22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
9:23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
9:24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
9:25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
9:26 And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
9:27 God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.


Genesis 9:19-27
 
2014-03-31 08:17:54 PM  
From Mark Kermode today...famed BBC Film Critic & Theorist...hes the Ebert of the UK

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-31 08:19:24 PM  
Do porn.  That easy.
 
2014-03-31 08:29:59 PM  

brandent: Interesting "there were no Christians around" which is funny mixed in with "I think sailors will like it" which is very odd attention seeking.


Not sure what you mean; both those statements are true: there were no Christians (or indeed, Jews) in that era, but there were sailors.
 
2014-03-31 08:34:42 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: brandent: Interesting "there were no Christians around" which is funny mixed in with "I think sailors will like it" which is very odd attention seeking.

Not sure what you mean; both those statements are true: there were no Christians (or indeed, Jews) in that era, but there were sailors.


I thought the 'no Christians around' was smart/funny sort of like "Jesus was a Jew".  The kind of things that get fundies going.  On the other hand I thought that mentioning sailors as a demographic was odd.  The entire gambit to go to the Vatican was to seek publicity/attention and it just struck me that the 'sailor outreach' statement was oddly attention seeking.
 
2014-03-31 08:36:32 PM  

DamnYankees: Why shoudl I give a crap.


The Curse of Ham means that black people are automagically slaves and Sarah Palin is president.
 
2014-03-31 08:40:31 PM  
Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside.  But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father's nakedness.  When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him.  He also said, "Blessed be the LORD, The God of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant. "May God enlarge Japheth, And let him dwell in the tents of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant."
 
2014-03-31 08:40:37 PM  

brandent: I love this article about the whole Pope thing and Russell Crowe.  Apparently the whole "I met the Pope" was more like "I went to the Vatican" but nonetheless apparently he did catch the Pope's attention and he went 'whatever dude'.

http://variety.com/2014/film/news/noah-star-russell-crowe-breaks-his -s ilence-about-meeting-the-pope-1201148643/

Best quote from the article:
""They were no Christians when Noah was around," said  Mark Margolis, who plays Magog in the film. "There weren't even Jews. He was before all that. I think sailors will like it: it's very nautical."

Interesting "there were no Christians around" which is funny mixed in with "I think sailors will like it"  which is very odd attention seeking.


What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?

Popeye shot him.

/after a hornpipe fueled beatdown
 
2014-03-31 08:47:24 PM  
I am starting to agree with Ken Ham.

All he is doing is pointing out the fact that homo sapiens will never, (and, are totally incapable of) understand anything but what our limited brains have evolved to learn.

And he is right.

Humans will not, and DO NOT evolve. Populations of species evolve and it takes longer than we are capable of understanding.

Humans think that success is righteousness.

Your genes are driving whatever we think we are and you are always wrong because your ego has nothing to do with the time it takes for the universe to pretend to know itself.
 
2014-03-31 08:49:47 PM  
I hate Mad Men.
 
2014-03-31 08:54:30 PM  

fisker: I am starting to agree with Ken Ham.

All he is doing is pointing out the fact that homo sapiens will never, (and, are totally incapable of) understand anything but what our limited brains have evolved to learn.

And he is right.

Humans will not, and DO NOT evolve. Populations of species evolve and it takes longer than we are capable of understanding.

Humans think that success is righteousness.

Your genes are driving whatever we think we are and you are always wrong because your ego has nothing to do with the time it takes for the universe to pretend to know itself.


timecube dewd, is that yew?
 
2014-03-31 08:54:53 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: luidprand: TedCruz'sCrazyDad: Ham is the son that either had sex with Noah or castrated him causing his sons to become servants for the other two brothers,right?  Been a while since I read the story of Noah, any Biblical scholars out there that can slay us with some good time religion?

He raped his dad saw his dad naked, not castrated him. That probably would have woke Noah up from even the most epic drunken stupor.

ftfy


Uncover nakedness meant "have sex with". Just like foot and thigh meant genitalia. One of the many, many reasons you can't take the Bible literally is because of it's use of euphemisms that were current during the Babylonian exile and many centuries since.
 
2014-03-31 08:56:24 PM  
Its. Damn you, autocorrect!
 
2014-03-31 08:59:01 PM  
fisker: I am starting to agree with Ken Ham.

All he is doing is pointing out the fact that homo sapiens will never, (and, are totally incapable of) understand anything but what our limited brains have evolved to learn.

And he is right.

Humans will not, and DO NOT evolve. Populations of species evolve and it takes longer than we are capable of understanding.


Humans think that success is righteousness.

Your genes are driving whatever we think we are and you are always wrong because your ego has nothing to do with the time it takes for the universe to pretend to know itself.

We have seen species evolve in a few generations. Speciation takes thousands, maybe millions of generations. But every time a kid is born, that is evolution in the works. We are evolving. But evolution is NOT a cat giving birth to a dog, like Ray Comfort and the Hovind's and the like keep saying. But it is not beyond our understanding. And we DO have overwhelming evidence of where we came from and how we got here. We will never know all of it, but every single day, collectively, we know more than we did yesterday and the gaps in our knowledge are filled.  

Only the self-righteous are self-righteous. Most people I know are humble and know humans are small, and this planet is small, and we're stupid and insignificant. I sure as hell feel that way. I don't pretend to be above anyone. We have cosmologists and immunologists and the LHC because we want to know more and know our place in the universe. 2,000 years ago we still thought the earth was flat and we were at the center of the universe. We know better now.
 
2014-03-31 09:13:18 PM  

NeuroticRocker: fisker: I am starting to agree with Ken Ham.

All he is doing is pointing out the fact that homo sapiens will never, (and, are totally incapable of) understand anything but what our limited brains have evolved to learn.

And he is right.

Humans will not, and DO NOT evolve. Populations of species evolve and it takes longer than we are capable of understanding.


Humans think that success is righteousness.

Your genes are driving whatever we think we are and you are always wrong because your ego has nothing to do with the time it takes for the universe to pretend to know itself.

We have seen species evolve in a few generations. Speciation takes thousands, maybe millions of generations. But every time a kid is born, that is evolution in the works. We are evolving. But evolution is NOT a cat giving birth to a dog, like Ray Comfort and the Hovind's and the like keep saying. But it is not beyond our understanding. And we DO have overwhelming evidence of where we came from and how we got here. We will never know all of it, but every single day, collectively, we know more than we did yesterday and the gaps in our knowledge are filled.  

Only the self-righteous are self-righteous. Most people I know are humble and know humans are small, and this planet is small, and we're stupid and insignificant. I sure as hell feel that way. I don't pretend to be above anyone. We have cosmologists and immunologists and the LHC because we want to know more and know our place in the universe. 2,000 years ago we still thought the earth was flat and we were at the center of the universe. We know better now.


NOPE.

Humans need to die out.

You know it, and I know it.
 
2014-03-31 09:18:01 PM  

fisker: NeuroticRocker: fisker: I am starting to agree with Ken Ham.

All he is doing is pointing out the fact that homo sapiens will never, (and, are totally incapable of) understand anything but what our limited brains have evolved to learn.

And he is right.

Humans will not, and DO NOT evolve. Populations of species evolve and it takes longer than we are capable of understanding.


Humans think that success is righteousness.

Your genes are driving whatever we think we are and you are always wrong because your ego has nothing to do with the time it takes for the universe to pretend to know itself.

We have seen species evolve in a few generations. Speciation takes thousands, maybe millions of generations. But every time a kid is born, that is evolution in the works. We are evolving. But evolution is NOT a cat giving birth to a dog, like Ray Comfort and the Hovind's and the like keep saying. But it is not beyond our understanding. And we DO have overwhelming evidence of where we came from and how we got here. We will never know all of it, but every single day, collectively, we know more than we did yesterday and the gaps in our knowledge are filled.  

Only the self-righteous are self-righteous. Most people I know are humble and know humans are small, and this planet is small, and we're stupid and insignificant. I sure as hell feel that way. I don't pretend to be above anyone. We have cosmologists and immunologists and the LHC because we want to know more and know our place in the universe. 2,000 years ago we still thought the earth was flat and we were at the center of the universe. We know better now.

NOPE.

Humans need to die out.

You know it, and I know it.


www.noladefender.com

Oh yeah. Totally agree. I'm waiting for the asteroid or nuclear war to kill us all. I can't stand it here. But I am enthralled by science and what humans can do. Im not capable of any of those things...but I like these major discoveries. I don't think that we are absolved of how shiatty we are, but some things...like the LHC are pretty damn awesome and I like that we are a teensy bit better off than we were 500 years ago. 

But I just don't think Ham has demonstrated or said anything thats worthy of repeating.
 
2014-03-31 09:20:17 PM  
Anyone who is interested: I'd take a look at Rashi's commentary on the story of Noah. It goes in-depth into what Jewish tradition teaches:

1. An argument can be made that Noah (and his predecessors to Adam) were vegetarians
2. An argument can be made that neighboring people did want to attack the ark when it rained

And more. (Ham's curse, etc.)

The bad angels who came down to help Man have a history in the Kabbalah and such. Some other traditions in the Zohar say they had sex with human women, who then gave birth to demons.

Plus, I don't get why some Christians are mad that the word "God" isn't used. "God" (just like "The Eternal") is a euphemism for the name of the deity that Christians and Jews worship. Since I'm Jewish, I won't write it. If you're mad that a euphemism is used, then stop saying "God" yourself.

In short, Christians who are angry with Noah don't know what they're talking about.

/ Saw it last night -- decent epic action flick, don't take it so seriously
 
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