If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Global Post)   US officials and allies are talking some excellent smack about Russia. Here's the best of the best   (globalpost.com) divider line 74
    More: Amusing, United States, Russia, High Commissioner for Human Rights, international diplomacy, humans, East Ukraine, Dan Coats, Kyiv  
•       •       •

7805 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2014 at 2:58 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-03-31 01:26:31 PM
 
2014-03-31 01:34:16 PM
Senator Coats (R-IN) had one or two good ones, but this one just really stood out: "5. I won't be able to counsel Duma members on how to say no to a President."

Not that I'm a fan of the House obstructionist policy, but that was just funny.
 
2014-03-31 02:14:47 PM
You know who else talked some excellent smack?

Dinky Hocker.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-31 03:02:58 PM
Oh, I'm sure Putin is feeling the sick burn while he finalizes annexing Crimea.
 
2014-03-31 03:04:43 PM
"Russia Saudi Arabia is a gas station masquerading as a country. It's kleptocracy, it's corruption. It's a nation that's really only dependent upon oil and gas for their economy. We're BFF!"  -- John (Vietnam Flashback) McCain

Fixed it for you, Senator
 
2014-03-31 03:06:37 PM
users.content.ytmnd.com
 
2014-03-31 03:07:36 PM
This may just blow up in putins face. Possibly literally even. When he decides to move on other countries, it will end poorly for him.
 
2014-03-31 03:07:36 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Oh, I'm sure Putin is feeling the sick burn while he finalizes annexing Crimea.


I'm thinking that burning feeling is more coming from reading the flood of economic bad news rather than anything any diplomat has to say.

How many Billions is Crimea worth?  More than 80 billion at this point and sanctions are just getting started.  I suspect Pooty Poot is learning that there's more than one way to lose a confrontation in our awesome globally-connected world of ours.
 
2014-03-31 03:09:36 PM
"Crimea River!" - Every half-wit on every social media site on the internet
 
2014-03-31 03:09:52 PM
Joe Biden: "Russia cannot escape that the world is changing and rejecting outright their behavior. And that there is a price to pay for naked aggression."

/Shudders
 
2014-03-31 03:10:21 PM
Former Secretary of State Hillary ClintonOn parallels to Nazi Germany, March 5: "The claims by President Putin and other Russians that they had to go into Crimea and maybe further into Eastern Ukraine because they had to protect the Russia minorities ... is reminiscent of claims that were made back in the 1930s when Germany under the Nazis kept talking about how they had to protect German minorities in Poland, in Czechoslovakia, and elsewhere throughout Europe."

Way to go Hillary!  There's nothing Russians like more than being compared to Nazis.

motores.com.py
/Stalingrad
//Leningrad
//...
 
2014-03-31 03:11:39 PM
And then there's the one where a farker threatens to put him on their ignore list.
 
2014-03-31 03:11:43 PM
In other news, some government leaders apparently include hash tags in their political commentary....
 
2014-03-31 03:13:30 PM
You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.
 
2014-03-31 03:16:21 PM

Anayalator: Joe Biden: "Russia cannot escape that the world is changing and rejecting outright their behavior. And that there is a price to pay for naked aggression."

/Shudders


Just imagine old Joe all naked and aggressive.

And it really is a sign of the times. Open war is frowned upon in this age of manipulation and deception. Why can't Russia just finance terrorist groups to do its bidding like everyone else?
 
2014-03-31 03:17:32 PM
Some Coke Drinking Guy:

Arming the Ukrainians totally won't have any negative geopolitical repercussions!

gifrific.gifrific.netdna-cdn.com
 
2014-03-31 03:18:38 PM
Too bad that Putin, The Shirtless Chessmaster, is playing an awesome game of chess while Obama is playing Yahtzee.  The weak and feckless Obama has emboldened our enemies by showing how weak and feckless he is.  Obama's weakness and fecklessness is encouraging the strong and masculine Putin to impose his will on the weak and feckless Obama.
 
2014-03-31 03:20:29 PM

Rapmaster2000: Too bad that Putin, The Shirtless Chessmaster, is playing an awesome game of chess while Obama is playing Yahtzee.  The weak and feckless Obama has emboldened our enemies by showing how weak and feckless he is.  Obama's weakness and fecklessness is encouraging the strong and masculine Putin to impose his will on the weak and feckless Obama.


More variety in adjectives, please.
 
2014-03-31 03:22:02 PM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.


MURICA! FARK, YEAH!

Because learning how to operate, maintain, and repair 20-30 year old airplanes is something that can be accomplished in 6 weeks.  Meanwhile the Russians are going to put all their MIGs and AA missiles in storage while Blackwater gets the Latvians up to speed, because to do otherwise wouldn't be sporting.
 
2014-03-31 03:24:04 PM
So THIS is what domestic CIA black propaganda programs feel like!
 
2014-03-31 03:24:15 PM
Lay them down then smackem yakem
 
2014-03-31 03:24:17 PM

Rapmaster2000: Too bad that Putin, The Shirtless Chessmaster, is playing an awesome game of chess while Obama is playing Yahtzee.  The weak and feckless Obama has emboldened our enemies by showing how weak and feckless he is.  Obama's weakness and fecklessness is encouraging the strong and masculine Putin to impose his will on the weak and feckless Obama.


i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-03-31 03:24:24 PM

Ambitwistor: Former Secretary of State Hillary ClintonOn parallels to Nazi Germany, March 5: "The claims by President Putin and other Russians that they had to go into Crimea and maybe further into Eastern Ukraine because they had to protect the Russia minorities ... is reminiscent of claims that were made back in the 1930s when Germany under the Nazis kept talking about how they had to protect German minorities in Poland, in Czechoslovakia, and elsewhere throughout Europe."

Way to go Hillary!  There's nothing Russians like more than being compared to Nazis.

[motores.com.py image 535x356]
/Stalingrad
//Leningrad
//...


You forgot Warsaw
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-31 03:25:09 PM
I read that as US officials and aliens and I thought this thread was gonna be way more exciting.
 
2014-03-31 03:25:40 PM
"Listening to the representative of Russia, one might think that Moscow had just become the rapid response arm of the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights."

OH DAYUM.  Putin's gonna need to head to Siberia to cool that burn!
 
2014-03-31 03:26:26 PM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.


I think they'd go bankrupt trying to keep them in the air.  Aging air frames are typically a money-pit.

/ I don't know how bad the A-10 is in this regard
 
2014-03-31 03:28:00 PM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.


I would recommend sending the Ukrainians every sniper rifle we can get our hands on. If they fight conventionally against the Russians, they're probably toast. But a few years of Russian soldiers being killed from a few hundred meters away might be part of the solution.
 
2014-03-31 03:31:29 PM
If you need proof that the Russians are going to reoccupy the parts of their former empire unopposed...except for Don Rickles type put-downs from Murica's clown politicians....go have a look at the financial markets.  See the financial markets going crazy?  Nope.  Wall St says, "Meh."   It's a done deal for Pooty Poot.
 
2014-03-31 03:32:26 PM
There are a lot of people in this tread who are excited about getting Ukrainians killed.

If you need to get your rocks off that badly, there are places on the internet for that.  Meanwhile, let the adults do foreign policy.
 
2014-03-31 03:32:29 PM
An image macro.  Really. You put an image macro as the lead for your article about foreign relations.
I get news on the internet to get away from this shiat
 
2014-03-31 03:34:19 PM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.


Why half ass anything? The US and her allies have the conventional capability to reduce the Russian military to one guy with a broken stick.   You just simply can not operate a world class military in a system as corrupt as the Russian state.
 
2014-03-31 03:34:30 PM

Name_Omitted: There are a lot of people in this tread who are excited about getting Ukrainians killed.

If you need to get your rocks off that badly, there are places on the internet for that.  Meanwhile, let the adults do foreign policy.


I'll bite.

What's the adult way that we handle one nation annexing part of another?

I believe that it typically involves bombs at some point, right?
 
2014-03-31 03:36:21 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.

I would recommend sending the Ukrainians every sniper rifle we can get our hands on. If they fight conventionally against the Russians, they're probably toast. But a few years of Russian soldiers being killed from a few hundred meters away might be part of the solution.


Ask the Chechens how well that work.

Grozny, 1995

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-31 03:36:55 PM
I'm sure Putin is having trouble hearing them over the noise of the tank engines.

Unless the words are backed up by some sort of action (sanctions, arrests of oligarchs traveling to the West) all the "sick burns" will be scoffed off while Russia reconstructs as much as its old empire as possible.

/feel bad for the Ukrainians caught in the (hopefully not literal) crossfire
 
2014-03-31 03:38:51 PM

syberpud: I'm sure Putin is having trouble hearing them over the noise of the tank engines.

Unless the words are backed up by some sort of action (sanctions, arrests of oligarchs traveling to the West) all the "sick burns" will be scoffed off while Russia reconstructs as much as its old empire as possible.

/feel bad for the Ukrainians caught in the (hopefully not literal) crossfire


Are you serious?  Can you really be that stupid?
 
2014-03-31 03:42:14 PM
That's the best?
The last time a Russian beat down a black man as bad as Putin has to Obama, Apollo Creed died.
 
2014-03-31 03:43:12 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: That's the best?
The last time a Russian beat down a black man as bad as Putin has to Obama, Apollo Creed died.


E for effort.
 
2014-03-31 03:43:54 PM
It's said to cost $17.5k per hour of flight time for the A10 Thunderbolt.

Arm the Ukrainians, trading equipment and training for their uranium and other minerals.
 
2014-03-31 03:45:44 PM

Fissile: syberpud: I'm sure Putin is having trouble hearing them over the noise of the tank engines.

Unless the words are backed up by some sort of action (sanctions, arrests of oligarchs traveling to the West) all the "sick burns" will be scoffed off while Russia reconstructs as much as its old empire as possible.

/feel bad for the Ukrainians caught in the (hopefully not literal) crossfire

Are you serious?  Can you really be that stupid?


Sick burn!
 
2014-03-31 03:46:51 PM
Yes, Nice witty comments.

And meanwhile Russia doesn't really care so much. They're getting what they're after, what do they care if politicians in the US make fun of them? The Russian politicians are doing much the same thing over there.

Fact is, these comments just end up underscoring how helpless we are to do anything- sure, we can sanction Russia, but it won't really matter from their point of view. Europe still depends heavily on Russia for their energy needs so anything they need they'll still be able to get. Russia meanwhile gets to build its resume as the one power able to stand up to the US.

Bad situation? Sure. Hearkening back to the realpolitik days of the early 20th century? Definitely. Is Putin a totalitarian ruler cut from the same cloth as the Tsars and early leaders of the USSR? I don't know, but it seems like that's what he'd like to be. But none of that changes that unless we're willing to fight a war over a territory that generally wants to be part of Russia anyway then there's exactly bugger-all we can do. The US and NATO may well have more than enough military power to grind Russia's army and navy into paste, but we don't care enough to use it for that end. Which leaves us with a war of words. Russia is indeed trying to rebuild its empire... they've always considered most of these near abroad republics to be possessions of theirs anyway.

Better to just focus our efforts on making sure Russia can't annex the Baltic Republics in the same way. We have actual defense pacts with them... and if it comes to actual shooting we'd stand a rather better chance in that area than in the Crimea.
 
2014-03-31 03:48:57 PM

akula: Fact is, these comments just end up underscoring how helpless we are to do anything


Leaders of the free world, engaging in a cut-down contest.

Because we'd get in trouble if we just beat the crap out of the douchebag.
 
2014-03-31 03:49:34 PM
sendtodave: What's the adult way that we handle one nation annexing part of another?

I believe that it typically involves bombs at some point, right?


We are talking about abstract things like self determination.  The Russians are talking about control of the home port for the Black Sea Fleet.

Do you honestly think that we are willing to give the Ukrainians the military backing that would allow them to keep control of the Black Sea Fleet?  Do you honestly think we are willing to become THAT entangled?

Option a) give the Ukrainians military arms and a false sense of hope that we will back them, and let them get slaughtered in the hope that they might be able to, what, annoy Putin?

Option b) squeeze the Russian oligarchs to the point where they will provide protections for the Ukrainians in Crimea,  and have the people who keep Putin in power loose too much for further military engagement.

Sevastopol is far more important to the Russians than it ever will be to us.  We should not be arming people who can not win, unless we are willing to arm them to the point where they can, and no one really wants us to go to war with Russia.
 
2014-03-31 03:52:06 PM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.


We've tried this tactic before.  It didn't end well.
 
2014-03-31 03:52:31 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: That's the best?
The last time a Russian beat down a black man as bad as Putin has to Obama, Apollo Creed died.


Yeah, Putin beat down Obama. Just as Obama is trying to work a new trade deal with Europe and insinuating that American Liquid Natural Gas (LNG) could be had for a comparable price to Russia Natural Gas. You have to remember that President Obama is not a boot to the face kind of guy, he is more of a knife to the back kind of guy.
 
2014-03-31 03:52:47 PM

Ambitwistor: Former Secretary of State Hillary ClintonOn parallels to Nazi Germany, March 5: "The claims by President Putin and other Russians that they had to go into Crimea and maybe further into Eastern Ukraine because they had to protect the Russia minorities ... is reminiscent of claims that were made back in the 1930s when Germany under the Nazis kept talking about how they had to protect German minorities in Poland, in Czechoslovakia, and elsewhere throughout Europe."

Way to go Hillary!  There's nothing Russians like more than being compared to Nazis.

[motores.com.py image 535x356]
/Stalingrad
//Leningrad
//...


I dunno about all that... how many Jews have you met that had to escape Russia?

They hate being compared to nazis because they are a whole lot like nazis.

/nazis
 
2014-03-31 03:53:17 PM

Name_Omitted: and no one really wants us to go to war with Russia.


Yet.

I've always wondered, Americans still get flack for joining WWII so late.

But did anyone want us to go to war with Germany, in those early years?
 
2014-03-31 03:53:22 PM

sendtodave: akula: Fact is, these comments just end up underscoring how helpless we are to do anything

Leaders of the free world, engaging in a cut-down contest.

Because we'd get in trouble if we just beat the crap out of the douchebag.


Point, and I do agree with the old saw "To jaw, jaw is better than to war, war." Comments beat bullets. Since it's pretty evident to everybody that nobody wants to go to war over Crimea (or even the entire Ukraine), there's nothing left but comments and right now Russia is raising their flag while singing "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me."

I just kind of get the impression that people like McCain going on the record with pithy quips isn't as much a way of avoiding war as much as it is underscoring the hopeless predicament- they just draw attention to how impotent the protests of Russian expansionism actually are. Nobody really cares what McCain or Biden think about this.
 
2014-03-31 03:56:22 PM

Name_Omitted: There are a lot of people in this tread who are excited about getting Ukrainians killed.

If you need to get your rocks off that badly, there are places on the internet for that.  Meanwhile, let the adults do foreign policy.


I didn't realize that foreign policy was actually determined in the Fark comment threads.  This whole time I thought we were entertaining ourselves and making snide comments for fun.

So how does this work?  do all of our ideas get put into action or do we have a vote or something?  Maybe a contest would work.  Arm wrestling?
 
2014-03-31 03:57:03 PM

Fissile: TheShavingofOccam123: Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, we just retired the A-10.  Why not take a bunch of A-10s, along with some recently retired F-16s, and start selling them for about a dollar a piece to all the countries along the Russian border.  Throw in some Blackwater pilots and aircrews until the Eastern Europeans can learn the role, and suddenly Russia is faced with a very real obstacle if they try to push west.  Plus think of all the money we can make selling laser guided bombs and uranium tipped shells to the Ukrainians.

Oh, and just to top it off, give the Ukrainian army all the AK-47 ammo that we were going to give to the Afghans, because you know that stuff will only end up in the hands of the Taliban anyways.  Putin probably doesn't care if he loses a few tanks or soldiers invading a country, but losing entire armored divisions doing so may be a bit much.

I would recommend sending the Ukrainians every sniper rifle we can get our hands on. If they fight conventionally against the Russians, they're probably toast. But a few years of Russian soldiers being killed from a few hundred meters away might be part of the solution.

Ask the Chechens how well that work.

Grozny, 1995

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x695]



The Chechens used terror attacks on civilians. They invited escalation by doing so.

The Russians have been planning this for a long time. There's no reason for the Ukraine to try to fight a war against the Russians right away.
 
rka
2014-03-31 03:59:31 PM

sendtodave: Name_Omitted: and no one really wants us to go to war with Russia.

Yet.

I've always wondered, Americans still get flack for joining WWII so late.

But did anyone want us to go to war with Germany, in those early years?


As always, the smart move to to stay out of it, play both sides for economic gain and let Europe bleed itself white.

Let Canada and Australia jump into yet another war 3-4 years too early if they want. Let them erect monuments to yet another generation of war dead fighting European conflicts. It's not honorable to send your sons off to be cannon fodder no matter what they claim and how many poppies they sell.
 
Displayed 50 of 74 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report