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(Huffington Post)   Bisexual woman tired of stereotypes that try to force her into a box   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 57
    More: Interesting, Bisexual woman, closet cases, stereotypes, Sexuality and gender identity-based cultures, Girls Gone Wild, bisexuals, New York Times Magazine, trans people  
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8530 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2014 at 11:31 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-31 11:36:32 AM
10 votes:
Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.
2014-03-31 10:08:28 AM
8 votes:
Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.
2014-03-31 11:51:44 AM
5 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

"You people and your quaint little categories."
2014-03-31 12:16:27 PM
3 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: DjangoStonereaver: I wish I was bisexual, but try as I might, I don't find men sexually attractive.  In fact, I'm amazed that we've
been able to continue on as a species.

Precisely this. On any given night, being bisexual doubles your chances for a date. I could use that edge.


It actually sucks.  A lot of the "mono gays" say bisexuals have it easier because we have "straight privilege" because we can "function" or "pass" as straight anytime we're in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.  That's about as true as saying a gay person can can "function" or "pass" as straight anytime they're not actually dating anyone.

If you're gay, you're gay 100% of the time, even if you don't happen to have a penis or clitoris in your mouth at that exact moment.  If you're bi, you're bi 100% of the time, even if you don't happen to be naked in bed with someone of the same sex at that moment.

Being bisexual isn't the best of both worlds.  If anything, it's the worst of both worlds.  We get it from both ends.  Homophones hate us as much or more than they do "mono" gays, but we're "not gay enough" or "in denial" or "have straight privilege" in the minds of the rest of the lbgtq community.

That said, if you offered me a magic pill which would make me non bisexual, I don't know that I'd take it.
2014-03-31 11:33:18 AM
3 votes:
I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.
2014-03-31 01:01:55 PM
2 votes:

ciberido: A girlfriend dumped me once because I told her I was bisexual.  This was after she had asked me to move in with her.  She didn't care about how many other women I had slept with.  All that mattered was that I had dated (and might in the future date) guys.

On the other hand, I was once commiserating with a fellow bi woman about this kind of prejudice and her response was "Oh yeah, I totally have to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend.  I wouldn't limit myself to just one or the other."  I wanted to strangle her.

A few months later the same woman told me her boyfriend and girlfriend had both dumped her.... after they found out about each other.


I also learned the hard way that I needed to let potential girlfriends know that I was bi early on.  It is frustrating how hard it is to convince people that bisexual is not the same thing as polyamorous.

I've run into both men and women with the attitude of needing both a boyfriend and girlfriend "because they are bi", and I always want to shake some sense into them.  They may be bi, but they are also polyamorous and deceiving their lovers about it.  

There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.
2014-03-31 12:31:35 PM
2 votes:
I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.
2014-03-31 12:08:55 PM
2 votes:
Love the person, not the plumbing. :/

/Have fun with the plumbing
2014-03-31 12:05:28 PM
2 votes:
Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?
2014-03-31 11:57:29 AM
2 votes:
Thought:  In 2014, why does someone HAVE to declare a 'team' (LBGT, straight)?

Would this not be easier?: Love who you want to love
2014-03-31 11:56:51 AM
2 votes:
i.chzbgr.com
2014-03-31 11:47:51 AM
2 votes:

Rwa2play: Dontcha just luv that shiat?!  Woman sleeps around?  "SHE'S A HO!" Man sleeps around? "HE'S A SEX GOD~!"


This was once explained to me as: A key that opens a lot of locks is a master key. A lock that's opened by a lot of different keys is a shiatty lock.

/Stupid analogy is stupid.
2014-03-31 11:44:46 AM
2 votes:
I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.
2014-03-31 11:37:27 AM
2 votes:

illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.


This right here.
2014-03-31 11:35:27 AM
2 votes:
Shouldn't this blog be on Tumblr?


doubled99: As long as they're good looking, most will eventually settle down with a man.


Also, this.
2014-03-31 10:39:23 AM
2 votes:
Bunch of freaking shameful sluts. They ought to be ashamed.
2014-04-01 11:45:16 AM
1 votes:

SquiggsIN: To me polyamory means what the words roots mean. poly = many, amor = love.


apt46.net
2014-03-31 03:13:54 PM
1 votes:

Clever Neologism: You also need something that describes sex without love or commitment.

Sure.  That would be hard to objectively gauge though, especially love.  How about longevity of relationships?  That would probably serve as a useful proxy measurement.  There are serial monogamists and polyamorous networks that are deeply committed to their multiple partners over decades.

The choice of axes should be made based on what is important information for you.


Definitions of polyamory aside, I have to say that defining the axes based on what is important to the individual makes communication difficult.
2014-03-31 02:47:13 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-31 02:13:22 PM
1 votes:
There's no such thing as "bisexual", just slutty women who want to impress guys and gay men who are hedging their bets.
2014-03-31 01:52:32 PM
1 votes:

bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.


If most of the people you hang out with a predatory and amoral, maybe that says more about you than them.
2014-03-31 01:32:29 PM
1 votes:

robodog: No, it was only binary in countries ruled by theists, in traditional societies (see Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, Mesopotamians, etc) it was much more fluid (much more like our biological indentities as rediscovered by Kinsey et al)


1. By "traditional" you mean "Mediterranean". There's not much distinction between Roman/Greek and the Egyptian/Mesopotamian cultures of that time.
2. The older Egyptians were absolutely theists. Their king was considered to be god on earth.
2014-03-31 01:28:28 PM
1 votes:

Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.


Ok.

My wife and I are swingers and went to a swingers party on Saturday night.

We met a nice couple and after a few drinks the other wife and I went into a room and started making out. I went down on her and licked / fingered her until she came. By the time her husband and my wife walked in I was doing her doggy style.

My wife and the other husband watched us for a bit while touching each other and making out. They soon decided to copy us.

The making out and mutual masturbation had made my wife aroused to the point where he was able to easily slide into her. She and the other wife moaned into each other's mouths as they made out and we did them from behind. As he banged her harder and faster my wife said she was about to cum. When she did it made the other wife and I cum at the same time.

The other wife and I then took a break. It was our turn to watch as our spouses switched positions. My wife got on top and rode him to another orgasm. When he came she jumped off and sucked him. She swallowed almost all of his cum only leaving a little on her chin. The other wife then eased over and the ladies shared a deep kiss.

That kiss turned into their hands exploring their bodies. After a while my wife pushed her back then licked and sucked her to another orgasm. They switched to 69 and each made the other cum again several times. Every time more loud and leg shivering than the last. When they finally recovered from the euphoria of the last orgasm we all showered off and returned to the bar area for conversation and more drinks. After dancing a bit we met a third couple. The wife of couple #3 wanted to try two guys at once.

We all returned to the play rooms and I went down on wife #3 while she made out with husband #2. This eventually led to her sucking him. When she came we switched and husband #2 did her missionary style while straddled her face and she took me all the way into her throat. Our wives kept husband #3 company while he watched. When I looked over the ladies were 69-ing again and husband #3 was doing my wife from behind. He would occasionally slip out of her and into the mouth of wife #2.

Wife #3 told us she was about to cum again but wanted us to DP her when she did. She sat on husband #2 and after getting comfortable I slowly entered her back door. The feeling of rubbing together inside her was amazing! It made all three of us cum very quickly. Almost at the same time I heard my wife and wife #2 having a loud orgasm. My wife was on her back with wife #2's face in her crotch while husband #3 was balls deep in wife #2's ass. A few seconds after the ladies orgasm he filled his condom also.

After catching our breath, showering again, and a few more drinks couple #3 returned to the play rooms with another couple and we hung out with couple #2 until the end of the night. Upon returning home my wife and I had a long slow round of sex before going to sleep.


/There, satisfied?
2014-03-31 01:21:27 PM
1 votes:

MrMouse: The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure

Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.


yes, it's called married men.
2014-03-31 01:15:35 PM
1 votes:

pacified: omgwhothehellcares.jpg


Thank you for covering this obligatory but entirely self-centered and dumb Fark meme.

/if nobody cared, the link wouldn't have been approved
//but go on imagining only your values and interests matter
2014-03-31 01:07:32 PM
1 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: Zeb Hesselgresser: Bisexuals are "slutty."  They're men in denial about their homosexuality."  . . . this is what the mainstream media would have you believe about us.

Actually, no. I've never heard that.   Ever.  So if that's your opening premise and the first sentence of your argument, I'm not much interested in the balance of your spiel.

The statements in quotes contained links. This article wasn't a personal letter to you.


The first of which was a .youtube video, two of the following were HuffPo links.

However, you are correct, I did take the way you think I did.  However, upon re-examination, I still reject her premise.

Her war on Chasing Amy is bullshiat.
2014-03-31 01:04:56 PM
1 votes:

wingedkat: SquiggsIN: I've seen it dozens of times.  It seems that many lesbians and gay men don't want bisexual partners because they are afraid of being cheated on with a member of the opposite gender more than a member of the same gender.  I've seen potentially great relationships halted by the revelation that some one has "dated on both sides in the past."

It is pretty frustrating.  Since coming out as bi, I have felt unwelcome in the gay scene and as a consequence I almost never meet women I can date.  So I don't date women, confirming the stereotype that bi women "always" end up with men.

 I'm of of the opinion it's damn near impossible to find a non-bisexual person truly comfortable with a bisexual partner.
Thus, bisexual males also mostly end up with females, and just don't express their bisexuality.  It's also why there's no "culture" for us... because we *can* "blend-in" in a psycho-sexual-social sense, we take the path of least resistance, and settle for less-than-fully-fulfilled sex lives with occasional nice surprises.Also, I have this theory:Relatively unenlightened hetero and homo people can abstractly understand one another: they are both attracted to one sex exclusively.  Even the dullest hetero man can understand homosexuality on the level of "he likes guys, in the same way girls like guys."  They might think it's wrong, but at least they understand it as something built-in: they didn't choose to like girls, and homos don't choose to like guys.  Bisexuality is outside of this: being attracted to "both" is beyond that level of abstraction.  Furthermore, the bisexual is more likely to be viewed as unprincipled or amoral: if they don't have rules about who they will have sex with like everyone else, what other rules might they not believe in?  It's almost as if hetero people think "well, at least the homosexual can't help himself.  He's just born that way, but he's a bisexual, he's choosing to be perverted, and simply doesn't care".
2014-03-31 01:01:31 PM
1 votes:
images.sodahead.com

GIS says this is what a bisexual woman looks like
2014-03-31 12:48:32 PM
1 votes:

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


I'm right there with you; I'm more about "slut honoring". Without women of somewhat loose moral fiber, I would never have had sex & I like sex. I would most likely have gone on a killing spree if it weren't for those brave & heroic women inviting me into their boudoir. On behalf of humanity: Thank you for your service!
2014-03-31 12:46:31 PM
1 votes:

MrMouse: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

FTFY.  You're welcome.

The filthy things do carry leprosy so yeah, don't associate with them. If you eat them, don't prepare them, that's still not 100% safe.
2014-03-31 12:31:45 PM
1 votes:

JPINFV: Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?


We tried that already.

fc07.deviantart.net

Didn't work.
2014-03-31 12:28:24 PM
1 votes:
I have a strict policy of only having sex with people who will let me
2014-03-31 12:26:25 PM
1 votes:
Bi means:

Gays think you're a tourist

Straights think you're closeted

Sexuality is complex. And people want simple. And not all bi's are the same to add a little more complexity. I find women (generally) much more visually/aesthetically sexually appealing, but also desire the physical act of sex with a male.

Though I have my own prejudices. I pretty much assume almost everyone would fall somewhere between the extremes of all straight or all gay if culture wasn't so hung up on needing crass rigid defining boxes for every social construct.
2014-03-31 12:23:44 PM
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Precisely this. On any given night, being bisexual doubles your chances for a date. I could use that edge.

/if only guys didn't look so... dudey


yeah, that's really not how it works.

Just as most straight people aren't attracted to everyone with a penis or vagina, bi people aren't suddenly attracted to everyone of both genders.  Most bi people I've talked to are as discriminating as straight people, but the attractive qualities are not dependant on gender.  

Or worse; for example I tend to be attracted to men and women with feminine qualities, so a large portion of people I'm attracted to are straight women and gay men, leaving me only a very small chance of finding a date.
2014-03-31 12:23:02 PM
1 votes:
I'm more interested in people rather than plumbing. We'll make the plumbing work.
2014-03-31 12:22:37 PM
1 votes:

Lady J: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it).


No.   You're really not the first.
2014-03-31 12:16:03 PM
1 votes:

BorgiaGinz: Shadowknight: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

Maybe a little of that, but I think for a lot of days that were brave enough to be "out" it felt like bisexuality was a way for more timid gay people to be out while not being all the way. Like they are hedging their bets or something. Like they were still too ashamed of themselves and/or the rest of the gay community to actually identify as such.

Yup, Bisexual people are basically heterosexuals who like to dip a toe (or other appendages) into the gay pool once in a while. The true test of orientation is not sexual acts, but genuine attraction. Bi guys like to use gay men for fun, but they never, ever fall in love with them. A gay guy might think that he's dating a bi guy, but the bi guy is going to go home to his wife  (that he never bothered to mention).


Were you going for dumbest comment in the thread?  You're pretty close to it.
2014-03-31 12:12:50 PM
1 votes:

miscreant: DROxINxTHExWIND: miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?


That'll be access to all three holes for the remainder of your life...dollars, please.

Three holes? I'm not into aural sex...


Looking forward to meeting you, with joy and trepannation.
2014-03-31 12:12:20 PM
1 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: Remove the word "bisexual" from my vocabulary, and I'm instantly more accepted in the lesbian scene; considered more dateable, and trustworthy, even.

That's because they hear "I'm probably going to ditch you for a man at some point" when you tell them you're bi. Right or wrong, the perception is "fickle"/

I think there's a big trust/security component thing here. The expanded pool of threats/competition to your relationship is more than some people wish to deal with.


I've seen it dozens of times.  It seems that many lesbians and gay men don't want bisexual partners because they are afraid of being cheated on with a member of the opposite gender more than a member of the same gender.  I've seen potentially great relationships halted by the revelation that some one has "dated on both sides in the past."

And another sad but true is that female bisexuality is still far more acceptable than male bisexuality.  girls can experiment and not be "gay" but if a guy crosses over he's "gay".
2014-03-31 12:10:40 PM
1 votes:

Shadowknight: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

Maybe a little of that, but I think for a lot of days that were brave enough to be "out" it felt like bisexuality was a way for more timid gay people to be out while not being all the way. Like they are hedging their bets or something. Like they were still too ashamed of themselves and/or the rest of the gay community to actually identify as such.


Yup, Bisexual people are basically heterosexuals who like to dip a toe (or other appendages) into the gay pool once in a while. The true test of orientation is not sexual acts, but genuine attraction. Bi guys like to use gay men for fun, but they never, ever fall in love with them. A gay guy might think that he's dating a bi guy, but the bi guy is going to go home to his wife  (that he never bothered to mention).
2014-03-31 12:08:40 PM
1 votes:

Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.


It's a stereotype. Heteros assume bis marry into a straight relationship after they're done "having fun." Gays assume bis are playing both sides and see bisexuals as noncommittal. Even what I just typed is a stereotype, for not all straight nor gay people think this way about bisexuals. For many bis though, they feel invalidated and intimidated by the jerk-asses they've met who claim they're wishy-washy or selfish.
2014-03-31 12:06:43 PM
1 votes:

Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

I could stand a little more
2014-03-31 12:06:31 PM
1 votes:

ToastmasterGeneral: 20% of Americans think vaccines can cause autism, and I'm supposed to get worked up over the fact that 15% don't think bisexuals are legitimate?


I'm more worried that 80% of Americans believe in angels.  Or that 20% still think the President is Muslim.  Or that 40% of us think there shouldn't be a separation of church and state.  or that 25% of us deny evolution... etc.
2014-03-31 12:02:29 PM
1 votes:
Remove the word "bisexual" from my vocabulary, and I'm instantly more accepted in the lesbian scene; considered more dateable, and trustworthy, even.

That's because they hear "I'm probably going to ditch you for a man at some point" when you tell them you're bi. Right or wrong, the perception is "fickle"/

I think there's a big trust/security component thing here. The expanded pool of threats/competition to your relationship is more than some people wish to deal with.
2014-03-31 12:00:51 PM
1 votes:

miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?



That'll be access to all three holes for the remainder of your life...dollars, please.
2014-03-31 11:54:17 AM
1 votes:

MrMouse: The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure

Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.


we don't hand out pamphlets

we hand out paper towels
2014-03-31 11:54:15 AM
1 votes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkJC1isTPaY

Don't try to tell me that you're an intellectual
Cause you're just another boring bisexual
("I met Andy Warhol at a really chic party")
Blow it out your hairdoo cause you really work at Hardees
2014-03-31 11:53:00 AM
1 votes:
If she'd just STFU about her sexual preferences and kept them private except to those with whom she'd consider a liaison, she wouldn't have this problem.  Quit yer whining!
2014-03-31 11:49:33 AM
1 votes:

sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.


I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?
2014-03-31 11:48:23 AM
1 votes:

Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.


Agreed too many repressed individuals trying to micro manage shiat that does not concern them.
2014-03-31 11:46:00 AM
1 votes:

voltOhm: Bunch of freaking shameful sluts. They ought to be ashamed.


I know, they should be regular slutty people and only have sex with everybody but you
2014-03-31 11:42:52 AM
1 votes:

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.
2014-03-31 11:42:48 AM
1 votes:

illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.


Unfortunately far too many people do care who you like to have sex with.
2014-03-31 11:40:57 AM
1 votes:
Up here in Vermont, you're not going to get put in a box. It's more like, "What do you want for lunch?" And everything else is talk about the weather.
2014-03-31 11:37:25 AM
1 votes:

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


You sound like a slut.
2014-03-31 11:35:50 AM
1 votes:

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


Dontcha just luv that shiat?!  Woman sleeps around?  "SHE'S A HO!" Man sleeps around? "HE'S A SEX GOD~!"

Just once I'd like to find out about a woman being "slut shamed" at a HS/College so I could put up a nice billboard trolling the entire campus.
2014-03-31 11:34:33 AM
1 votes:
As long as they're good looking, most will eventually settle down with a man.
 
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