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(Huffington Post)   Bisexual woman tired of stereotypes that try to force her into a box   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Bisexual woman, closet cases, stereotypes, Sexuality and gender identity-based cultures, Girls Gone Wild, bisexuals, New York Times Magazine, trans people  
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8593 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2014 at 11:31 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-31 10:08:28 AM  
Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.
 
2014-03-31 10:39:23 AM  
Bunch of freaking shameful sluts. They ought to be ashamed.
 
2014-03-31 11:33:18 AM  
I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.
 
2014-03-31 11:34:33 AM  
As long as they're good looking, most will eventually settle down with a man.
 
2014-03-31 11:35:27 AM  
Shouldn't this blog be on Tumblr?


doubled99: As long as they're good looking, most will eventually settle down with a man.


Also, this.
 
2014-03-31 11:35:50 AM  

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


Dontcha just luv that shiat?!  Woman sleeps around?  "SHE'S A HO!" Man sleeps around? "HE'S A SEX GOD~!"

Just once I'd like to find out about a woman being "slut shamed" at a HS/College so I could put up a nice billboard trolling the entire campus.
 
2014-03-31 11:35:59 AM  
ib3.huluim.com
 
2014-03-31 11:36:32 AM  
Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.
 
2014-03-31 11:37:25 AM  

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


You sound like a slut.
 
2014-03-31 11:37:27 AM  

illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.


This right here.
 
2014-03-31 11:39:43 AM  

Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.


Actually, I'd be interested in more details.
 
2014-03-31 11:39:44 AM  
For some reason I now have Oglaf comics running around my head
 
2014-03-31 11:40:31 AM  
I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure
 
2014-03-31 11:40:57 AM  
Up here in Vermont, you're not going to get put in a box. It's more like, "What do you want for lunch?" And everything else is talk about the weather.
 
2014-03-31 11:41:25 AM  
There goes that Huff-Po with "serious" news again.
 
2014-03-31 11:42:48 AM  

illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.


Unfortunately far too many people do care who you like to have sex with.
 
2014-03-31 11:42:52 AM  

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.
 
2014-03-31 11:43:38 AM  
www.sxc.hu
 
2014-03-31 11:44:16 AM  
IDK, I read the article and could not decide.  I guess you can say I could go either way.
 
2014-03-31 11:44:17 AM  
I wish I was bisexual, but try as I might, I don't find men sexually attractive.  In fact, I'm amazed that we've
been able to continue on as a species.
 
2014-03-31 11:44:46 AM  
I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.
 
2014-03-31 11:45:07 AM  

The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure


Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.
 
2014-03-31 11:46:00 AM  

voltOhm: Bunch of freaking shameful sluts. They ought to be ashamed.


I know, they should be regular slutty people and only have sex with everybody but you
 
2014-03-31 11:47:12 AM  

illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.


More to the point: I don't care who you want to have sex with, unless you want to have sex with me
 
2014-03-31 11:47:36 AM  
Good for her.  Sometimes you feel like splurging and ordering the choice roast beef.  Other times you just need to get your insides blasted by a cheap hotdog.
 
2014-03-31 11:47:51 AM  

Rwa2play: Dontcha just luv that shiat?!  Woman sleeps around?  "SHE'S A HO!" Man sleeps around? "HE'S A SEX GOD~!"


This was once explained to me as: A key that opens a lot of locks is a master key. A lock that's opened by a lot of different keys is a shiatty lock.

/Stupid analogy is stupid.
 
2014-03-31 11:48:23 AM  

Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.


Agreed too many repressed individuals trying to micro manage shiat that does not concern them.
 
2014-03-31 11:49:33 AM  

sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.


I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?
 
2014-03-31 11:49:35 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: I wish I was bisexual, but try as I might, I don't find men sexually attractive.  In fact, I'm amazed that we've
been able to continue on as a species.


Precisely this. On any given night, being bisexual doubles your chances for a date. I could use that edge.

/if only guys didn't look so... dudey
 
2014-03-31 11:50:35 AM  

bigdog1960: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Agreed too many repressed individuals trying to micro manage shiat that does not concern them.


It's like "Oh, she's sleeping around, really? Well, we men set the example..."
 
2014-03-31 11:51:01 AM  

Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.


Maybe a little of that, but I think for a lot of days that were brave enough to be "out" it felt like bisexuality was a way for more timid gay people to be out while not being all the way. Like they are hedging their bets or something. Like they were still too ashamed of themselves and/or the rest of the gay community to actually identify as such.

Now, I'm not gay, so I'm just basing this off conversations with homosexual friends and associates. Feel free to disregard, since I'm pulling this theory straight out of the ether.
 
2014-03-31 11:51:44 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

"You people and your quaint little categories."
 
2014-03-31 11:51:45 AM  
So, are republicans repressed homosexuals, or bisexuals?
 
2014-03-31 11:52:21 AM  
Bisexual Culture Is No 'Fiction'

Thought at first that was 'Friction'.
 
2014-03-31 11:52:35 AM  
She'll lick this injustice.
 
2014-03-31 11:53:00 AM  
If she'd just STFU about her sexual preferences and kept them private except to those with whom she'd consider a liaison, she wouldn't have this problem.  Quit yer whining!
 
2014-03-31 11:54:15 AM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkJC1isTPaY

Don't try to tell me that you're an intellectual
Cause you're just another boring bisexual
("I met Andy Warhol at a really chic party")
Blow it out your hairdoo cause you really work at Hardees
 
2014-03-31 11:54:16 AM  
20% of Americans think vaccines can cause autism, and I'm supposed to get worked up over the fact that 15% don't think bisexuals are legitimate?
 
2014-03-31 11:54:17 AM  

MrMouse: The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure

Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.


we don't hand out pamphlets

we hand out paper towels
 
2014-03-31 11:55:36 AM  

sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.


How YOU doin'?
 
2014-03-31 11:56:13 AM  

Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.


sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive and you'd have to be a pretty open minded straight man to even consider it

the world according to lady j
 
2014-03-31 11:56:37 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 253x304]

"You people and your quaint little categories."


LOL.  Reminds of the first "Torchwood" episode with Owen and the alien Spanish Fly.

Knew right there that this show would be...a little kinky.

/Also: Gwen....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lovely Welsh babe.
 
2014-03-31 11:56:51 AM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-03-31 11:57:29 AM  
Thought:  In 2014, why does someone HAVE to declare a 'team' (LBGT, straight)?

Would this not be easier?: Love who you want to love
 
2014-03-31 11:58:29 AM  

miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?


all the sex
 
2014-03-31 12:00:51 PM  

miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?



That'll be access to all three holes for the remainder of your life...dollars, please.
 
2014-03-31 12:01:15 PM  

medius: MrMouse: The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure

Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.

we don't hand out pamphlets

we hand out paper towels


LMFAO
 
2014-03-31 12:02:29 PM  
Remove the word "bisexual" from my vocabulary, and I'm instantly more accepted in the lesbian scene; considered more dateable, and trustworthy, even.

That's because they hear "I'm probably going to ditch you for a man at some point" when you tell them you're bi. Right or wrong, the perception is "fickle"/

I think there's a big trust/security component thing here. The expanded pool of threats/competition to your relationship is more than some people wish to deal with.
 
2014-03-31 12:03:05 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?


That'll be access to all three holes for the remainder of your life...dollars, please.


Three holes? I'm not into aural sex...
 
2014-03-31 12:03:43 PM  

MrMouse: The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure

Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.


Yup, us right here. Read the Fark FAQ and just keep your hands off the kittens.
 
2014-03-31 12:04:36 PM  

Rwa2play: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

.Man sleeps around? "HE'S A SEX GOD~!"


In his own mind.


.

 
2014-03-31 12:04:51 PM  

SquiggsIN: Shadowknight: Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.

... and research has shown for decades that tradition is wrong because sexuality is not binary.


I never said it was right or correct. Ever little penguins have proven to be fabulous and end up with a same sex mate, but also fertilize an egg or two. But we, as social animals, tend to want to group and categorize.

You're fighting a uphill battle to try to get people to think outside that term. Not an unworthy fight, but very difficult.
 
2014-03-31 12:05:28 PM  
Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?
 
2014-03-31 12:05:31 PM  

Shadowknight: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.


On mobile, so I can't FTFY the usual way. But let's fix that last sentence:
Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which in *some cultures* is *limited to a* traditionally rather binary *view.*

Plenty of other cultures have a far more complex view of gender and sexuality. Trinary (ternary if you prefer), quadnary, sliding scale, fluid, and others that don't lend to mere mathematical description.
 
2014-03-31 12:06:34 PM  

RedfordRenegade: IDK, I read the article and could not decide.  I guess you can say I could go either way.


whynotboth.jpg
 
2014-03-31 12:06:43 PM  

Lady J: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive and you'd have to be a pretty open minded straight man to even consider it

the world according to lady j


Not to mention it's a sliding scale, and you may be at different places on it at different times.
 
2014-03-31 12:06:43 PM  

Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

I could stand a little more
 
2014-03-31 12:06:46 PM  

miscreant: DROxINxTHExWIND: miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?


That'll be access to all three holes for the remainder of your life...dollars, please.

Three holes? I'm not into aural sex...


Your loss.
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-31 12:08:40 PM  

Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.


It's a stereotype. Heteros assume bis marry into a straight relationship after they're done "having fun." Gays assume bis are playing both sides and see bisexuals as noncommittal. Even what I just typed is a stereotype, for not all straight nor gay people think this way about bisexuals. For many bis though, they feel invalidated and intimidated by the jerk-asses they've met who claim they're wishy-washy or selfish.
 
2014-03-31 12:08:55 PM  
Love the person, not the plumbing. :/

/Have fun with the plumbing
 
2014-03-31 12:09:17 PM  

SquiggsIN: Shadowknight: Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.

... and research has shown for decades that tradition is wrong because sexuality is not binary.


Ayup.

Sexuality is on a continuum.  Techically, everyone is bisexual because no one is all the way 100% at either endpoint.
 
2014-03-31 12:09:33 PM  
Is it just me or has the HuffPo gone from trying to be a serious news source to just being another gossip site?
 
2014-03-31 12:10:17 PM  

Shadowknight: Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.


Except that it isn't. Even something like the Kinsey Scale, which at least attempts to address the complexity of human sexuality, is woefully oversimplified. That's why you end up with the LGBTQ-ad-nauseum-alphabet-soup, because it's too complicated to fit everyone into neat little categories.
 
2014-03-31 12:10:31 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


You sound like a slut.
 
2014-03-31 12:10:40 PM  

Shadowknight: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

Maybe a little of that, but I think for a lot of days that were brave enough to be "out" it felt like bisexuality was a way for more timid gay people to be out while not being all the way. Like they are hedging their bets or something. Like they were still too ashamed of themselves and/or the rest of the gay community to actually identify as such.


Yup, Bisexual people are basically heterosexuals who like to dip a toe (or other appendages) into the gay pool once in a while. The true test of orientation is not sexual acts, but genuine attraction. Bi guys like to use gay men for fun, but they never, ever fall in love with them. A gay guy might think that he's dating a bi guy, but the bi guy is going to go home to his wife  (that he never bothered to mention).
 
2014-03-31 12:10:44 PM  
For some crazy ideas on sexuality, read this:

http://sbgrille.forumer.com/same-sex-divorce-t2352126.html
 
2014-03-31 12:11:32 PM  

brimed03: Shadowknight: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.

On mobile, so I can't FTFY the usual way. But let's fix that last sentence:
Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which in *some cultures* is *limited to a* traditionally rather binary *view.*

Plenty of other cultures have a far more complex view of gender and sexuality. Trinary (ternary if you prefer), quadnary, sliding scale, fluid, and others that don't lend to mere mathematical description.


True enough, some cultures did evolve to even venerate cross gender folks. I was thinking more along caveman terms though. Fire hurt, rock hard, purple plant poison, red bug make stink, that man no me tribe so me no like or trust.

As societies evolves, we all kind of did different things. So yeah, you're right, it's mostly us in the western world that has the hangups.
 
2014-03-31 12:11:49 PM  

MrMouse: The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure

Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.


Sure, but you'll have to specify. Do you want the one for people who *like to,* or the one for people who *have no choice but to?* Or as we like to shorthand it: the Billy Idol or the PeeWee Herman?
 
2014-03-31 12:11:58 PM  
Relevant to this topic

Also, whatever happened to the Kinsey scale (or at least the concept that Homosexuality/Heterosexuality is sometimes, and possibly more often than not, somewhere in the middle of those two extremes)?

I like the idea of a 2-axis Kinsey-type scale, with the X axis representing the Homo/Hetero continuum and the Y axis representing the "amplitude", which boils down to just how much of your drive and energy you devote to sexual pursuits, how much self-actualization you derive from your sexual expression.

For instance, I'm not particularly sexual. It is on very rare occasions that you'll hear me say out loud, "damn, dat ass, yo." Still, every once in a while, I'll say something like that. That would put me at about a 1 on the Y axis. Someone who, let's say, has their own sexytime webcam? that's like a 10.

And of course, it goes to 11. That would be for people with armadillos down their trousers.
 
2014-03-31 12:12:25 PM  

BorgiaGinz: Yup, Bisexual people are basically heterosexuals who like to dip a toe (or other appendages) into the gay pool once in a while. The true test of orientation is not sexual acts, but genuine attraction. Bi guys like to use gay men for fun, but they never, ever fall in love with them. A gay guy might think that he's dating a bi guy, but the bi guy is going to go home to his wife (that he never bothered to mention).


citationneeded.jpg
 
2014-03-31 12:12:50 PM  

miscreant: DROxINxTHExWIND: miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?


That'll be access to all three holes for the remainder of your life...dollars, please.

Three holes? I'm not into aural sex...


Looking forward to meeting you, with joy and trepannation.
 
2014-03-31 12:13:05 PM  

GonzoNihilist: Is it just me or has the HuffPo gone from trying to be a serious news source to just being another gossip site?


Difficulty: name the exact period when they were a serious new source.
 
2014-03-31 12:14:17 PM  

Lady J: sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive


The spectrum itself is rather misleading.  The one thing that struck me about bisexuals is just how diverse they are.  I mean it makes sense if you think about it, but if you're a switch hitter you have two entirely different sets of preferences and it's almost never portrayed accurately.
 
2014-03-31 12:14:56 PM  

mercator_psi: Relevant to this topic

And of course, it goes to 11. That would be for people with armadillos down their trousers.


Thanks a lot!  Another pamphlet I need to try and find.
 
2014-03-31 12:15:52 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works.

lolimage.com
 
2014-03-31 12:16:27 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: DjangoStonereaver: I wish I was bisexual, but try as I might, I don't find men sexually attractive.  In fact, I'm amazed that we've
been able to continue on as a species.

Precisely this. On any given night, being bisexual doubles your chances for a date. I could use that edge.


It actually sucks.  A lot of the "mono gays" say bisexuals have it easier because we have "straight privilege" because we can "function" or "pass" as straight anytime we're in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.  That's about as true as saying a gay person can can "function" or "pass" as straight anytime they're not actually dating anyone.

If you're gay, you're gay 100% of the time, even if you don't happen to have a penis or clitoris in your mouth at that exact moment.  If you're bi, you're bi 100% of the time, even if you don't happen to be naked in bed with someone of the same sex at that moment.

Being bisexual isn't the best of both worlds.  If anything, it's the worst of both worlds.  We get it from both ends.  Homophones hate us as much or more than they do "mono" gays, but we're "not gay enough" or "in denial" or "have straight privilege" in the minds of the rest of the lbgtq community.

That said, if you offered me a magic pill which would make me non bisexual, I don't know that I'd take it.
 
2014-03-31 12:18:45 PM  

illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.


Not true! I am often interested in whether someone likes to have sex with me. The answer is usually "no".
 
2014-03-31 12:19:55 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 253x304]

"You people and your quaint little categories."


Yeah, this is why I sometimes feel like non-bisexuals are the weird ones.  Jack could make anyone, male or female, cross the street.

/I'd torch his wood.
 
2014-03-31 12:21:08 PM  

Cold_Sassy: If she'd just STFU about her sexual preferences and kept them private except to those with whom she'd consider a liaison, she wouldn't have this problem.  Quit yer whining!


Really?  Just stay in the closet?  That tired old canard?  You couldn't think of anything better?
 
2014-03-31 12:22:37 PM  

Lady J: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it).


No.   You're really not the first.
 
2014-03-31 12:23:02 PM  
I'm more interested in people rather than plumbing. We'll make the plumbing work.
 
2014-03-31 12:23:20 PM  

ciberido: ...We get it from both ends...


*titter*
 
2014-03-31 12:23:44 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Precisely this. On any given night, being bisexual doubles your chances for a date. I could use that edge.

/if only guys didn't look so... dudey


yeah, that's really not how it works.

Just as most straight people aren't attracted to everyone with a penis or vagina, bi people aren't suddenly attracted to everyone of both genders.  Most bi people I've talked to are as discriminating as straight people, but the attractive qualities are not dependant on gender.  

Or worse; for example I tend to be attracted to men and women with feminine qualities, so a large portion of people I'm attracted to are straight women and gay men, leaving me only a very small chance of finding a date.
 
2014-03-31 12:25:30 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 253x304]

"You people and your quaint little categories."


You know he is not bisexual, he is gay right ? (the actor)
Cute couple, interesting facebook page.
 
2014-03-31 12:26:16 PM  

sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.


How YOU doin'?


/I kid, of course.
 
2014-03-31 12:26:25 PM  
Bi means:

Gays think you're a tourist

Straights think you're closeted

Sexuality is complex. And people want simple. And not all bi's are the same to add a little more complexity. I find women (generally) much more visually/aesthetically sexually appealing, but also desire the physical act of sex with a male.

Though I have my own prejudices. I pretty much assume almost everyone would fall somewhere between the extremes of all straight or all gay if culture wasn't so hung up on needing crass rigid defining boxes for every social construct.
 
2014-03-31 12:26:32 PM  

Shadowknight: brimed03: Shadowknight: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.

On mobile, so I can't FTFY the usual way. But let's fix that last sentence:
Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which in *some cultures* is *limited to a* traditionally rather binary *view.*

Plenty of other cultures have a far more complex view of gender and sexuality. Trinary (ternary if you prefer), quadnary, sliding scale, fluid, and others that don't lend to mere mathematical description.

True enough, some cultures did evolve to even venerate cross gender folks. I was thinking more along caveman terms though. Fire hurt, rock hard, purple plant poison, red bug make stink, that man no me tribe so me no like or trust.

As societies evolves, we all kind of did different things. So yeah, you're right, it's mostly us in the western world that has the hangups.


Sadly not just the western world. Although on some cases (e.g
many African nations) it's hard to know since we've been deliberately contaminating or replacing the local cultures ever since we began colonizing, up through the present day. FWICT, India used to have a healthy view of sex and gender, except when it came to inter-caste sex... but that's a wholly other issue. I've no idea what the various Asian states' views were or currently are. Central and South America have also been so highly tainted by Western colonization-- native populations there (like N.America) have arguably had it worse that Africa since they were all but wiped out-- but my guess is that the less-than-hardcore-Christian nations are pretty relaxed about it. Hard not to be what with all that sun and skimpy clothing on everybody.
 
2014-03-31 12:27:31 PM  

ObscureNameHere: Thought:  In 2014, why does someone HAVE to declare a 'team' (LBGT, straight)?

Would this not be easier?: Love who you want to love


Labels make it easier to find romantic and sexual partners. It's like "married" or "single".
 
2014-03-31 12:27:41 PM  

Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.


Videos too. If they're available.
 
2014-03-31 12:28:17 PM  

mercator_psi: Relevant to this topic

Also, whatever happened to the Kinsey scale (or at least the concept that Homosexuality/Heterosexuality is sometimes, and possibly more often than not, somewhere in the middle of those two extremes)?

I like the idea of a 2-axis Kinsey-type scale, with the X axis representing the Homo/Hetero continuum and the Y axis representing the "amplitude", which boils down to just how much of your drive and energy you devote to sexual pursuits, how much self-actualization you derive from your sexual expression.

For instance, I'm not particularly sexual. It is on very rare occasions that you'll hear me say out loud, "damn, dat ass, yo." Still, every once in a while, I'll say something like that. That would put me at about a 1 on the Y axis. Someone who, let's say, has their own sexytime webcam? that's like a 10.

And of course, it goes to 11. That would be for people with armadillos down their trousers.


Thank you for recognizing our existence. It's nice to feel validated.
 
2014-03-31 12:28:24 PM  
I have a strict policy of only having sex with people who will let me
 
2014-03-31 12:29:32 PM  

Happy Father: For some reason I now have Oglaf comics running around my head


That's because the creator is angry and insane - Sithrak, the Blind Gibberer!
 
2014-03-31 12:29:42 PM  

miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?


That depends.   Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
 
2014-03-31 12:30:23 PM  
There seem to be a lot of plumbers in this thread.  Did I stumble across one of your meetings?
 
2014-03-31 12:31:35 PM  
I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.
 
2014-03-31 12:31:45 PM  

JPINFV: Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?


We tried that already.

fc07.deviantart.net

Didn't work.
 
2014-03-31 12:31:57 PM  

Rwa2play: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

Dontcha just luv that shiat?!  Woman sleeps around?  "SHE'S A HO!" Man sleeps around? "HE'S A SEX GOD~!"

Just once I'd like to find out about a woman being "slut shamed" at a HS/College so I could put up a nice billboard trolling the entire campus.



Jim Jeffries on why that double standard is perfectly logical: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbvrGiL_s70
 
2014-03-31 12:33:02 PM  

JPINFV: Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?


Brown haired people are all sluts.
 
2014-03-31 12:33:13 PM  

Rambino: Rwa2play: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

Dontcha just luv that shiat?!  Woman sleeps around?  "SHE'S A HO!" Man sleeps around? "HE'S A SEX GOD~!"

Just once I'd like to find out about a woman being "slut shamed" at a HS/College so I could put up a nice billboard trolling the entire campus.


Jim Jeffries on why that double standard is perfectly logical: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbvrGiL_s70


Oh yeah -- NSFW language, i guess
 
2014-03-31 12:35:46 PM  

grokca: JPINFV: Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?

Brown haired people are all sluts.


I wish, but my lack of action tends to disprove that.
 
2014-03-31 12:35:53 PM  
I just DO NOT CARE!  I care so little in fact that I wrote this post.  In addition, my care is so insubstantial that I will respond to any criticism of my position.  I'll write 50 posts if I have to.

That's just how much I DO NOT CARE!
 
2014-03-31 12:36:29 PM  

ciberido: Cold_Sassy: If she'd just STFU about her sexual preferences and kept them private except to those with whom she'd consider a liaison, she wouldn't have this problem.  Quit yer whining!

Really?  Just stay in the closet?  That tired old canard?  You couldn't think of anything better?


"Quit whining" is Cold Sassy's standard response. It's how she shows how rugged she is. About other people's troubles, I mean.
 
2014-03-31 12:38:21 PM  

mercator_psi: ciberido: ...We get it from both ends...

*titter*


"titter."

*giggity*
 
2014-03-31 12:38:50 PM  

SquiggsIN: I've seen it dozens of times.  It seems that many lesbians and gay men don't want bisexual partners because they are afraid of being cheated on with a member of the opposite gender more than a member of the same gender.  I've seen potentially great relationships halted by the revelation that some one has "dated on both sides in the past."


It is pretty frustrating.  Since coming out as bi, I have felt unwelcome in the gay scene and as a consequence I almost never meet women I can date.  So I don't date women, confirming the stereotype that bi women "always" end up with men.
 
2014-03-31 12:39:36 PM  
What a curse it must be being a bisexual. Can you imagine wanting to f*ck everybody you meet?!- George Carlin

There's a conspiracy going on here. If there's a genetic component to homosexuality then not forcing them into heterosexual unions through social convention will see those traits become rarer. Hence gay acceptance and marriage would cull their traits from the gene pool.

But bisexuals screw up that plan. People with those traits that play both sides? Then they'll never breed the gay out of us humans. And by they, I mean They with a capital T.
 
2014-03-31 12:39:54 PM  

SquiggsIN: HotWingConspiracy: Remove the word "bisexual" from my vocabulary, and I'm instantly more accepted in the lesbian scene; considered more dateable, and trustworthy, even.

That's because they hear "I'm probably going to ditch you for a man at some point" when you tell them you're bi. Right or wrong, the perception is "fickle"/

I think there's a big trust/security component thing here. The expanded pool of threats/competition to your relationship is more than some people wish to deal with.

I've seen it dozens of times.  It seems that many lesbians and gay men don't want bisexual partners because they are afraid of being cheated on with a member of the opposite gender more than a member of the same gender.  I've seen potentially great relationships halted by the revelation that some one has "dated on both sides in the past."


A girlfriend dumped me once because I told her I was bisexual.  This was after she had asked me to move in with her.  She didn't care about how many other women I had slept with.  All that mattered was that I had dated (and might in the future date) guys.

On the other hand, I was once commiserating with a fellow bi woman about this kind of prejudice and her response was "Oh yeah, I totally have to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend.  I wouldn't limit myself to just one or the other."  I wanted to strangle her.

A few months later the same woman told me her boyfriend and girlfriend had both dumped her.... after they found out about each other.
 
2014-03-31 12:40:13 PM  

bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.


Said he'd give you a call. Didn't. Not unique to bisexuals buddy.
 
2014-03-31 12:41:52 PM  

ByOwlLight: BorgiaGinz: Yup, Bisexual people are basically heterosexuals who like to dip a toe (or other appendages) into the gay pool once in a while. The true test of orientation is not sexual acts, but genuine attraction. Bi guys like to use gay men for fun, but they never, ever fall in love with them. A gay guy might think that he's dating a bi guy, but the bi guy is going to go home to his wife (that he never bothered to mention).

citationneeded.jpg


I THINK BorgiaGinz isn't giving her own opinion so much as relating common stereotypes about bisexuals that, unfortunately, many people believe.  So when you say "citation needed," are you asking her to prove that the stereotypes are TRUE or that they are BELIEVED?
 
2014-03-31 12:42:33 PM  

Crewmannumber6: I have a strict policy of only having sex with people who will let me


Pervert.
 
2014-03-31 12:43:41 PM  

ciberido: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: DjangoStonereaver: I wish I was bisexual, but try as I might, I don't find men sexually attractive.  In fact, I'm amazed that we've
been able to continue on as a species.

Precisely this. On any given night, being bisexual doubles your chances for a date. I could use that edge.

It actually sucks.  A lot of the "mono gays" say bisexuals have it easier because we have "straight privilege" because we can "function" or "pass" as straight anytime we're in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.  That's about as true as saying a gay person can can "function" or "pass" as straight anytime they're not actually dating anyone.

If you're gay, you're gay 100% of the time, even if you don't happen to have a penis or clitoris in your mouth at that exact moment.  If you're bi, you're bi 100% of the time, even if you don't happen to be naked in bed with someone of the same sex at that moment.

Being bisexual isn't the best of both worlds.  If anything, it's the worst of both worlds.  We get it from both ends.  Homophones hate us as much or more than they do "mono" gays, but we're "not gay enough" or "in denial" or "have straight privilege" in the minds of the rest of the lbgtq community.

That said, if you offered me a magic pill which would make me non bisexual, I don't know that I'd take it.


wingedkat: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Precisely this. On any given night, being bisexual doubles your chances for a date. I could use that edge.

/if only guys didn't look so... dudey

yeah, that's really not how it works.

Just as most straight people aren't attracted to everyone with a penis or vagina, bi people aren't suddenly attracted to everyone of both genders.  Most bi people I've talked to are as discriminating as straight people, but the attractive qualities are not dependant on gender.  

Or worse; for example I tend to be attracted to men and women with feminine qualities, so a large portion of people I'm attracted to are straight women and gay men, leaving me only a very small chance of finding a date.


Interesting perspectives, both. I owe both of you an apology for the glibness in my post. Honestly, I hadn't really thought about this much, so I'm a biatchagrined that my ignorance is showing. I appreciate the civility that you showed me in your corrections, as you could have justifiably been offended and replied accordingly. Now I'm enlightened on the subject and not defensive about it. Thanks.
 
2014-03-31 12:44:06 PM  

bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.


FTFY.  You're welcome.
 
2014-03-31 12:44:41 PM  

grokca: JPINFV: Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?

Brown haired people are all sluts.


As a brown-haired person... yes. Yes we are.

Any takers?
 
2014-03-31 12:45:13 PM  
Bisexuals are "slutty."  They're men in denial about their homosexuality."  . . . this is what the mainstream media would have you believe about us.

Actually, no. I've never heard that.   Ever.  So if that's your opening premise and the first sentence of your argument, I'm not much interested in the balance of your spiel.
 
2014-03-31 12:45:34 PM  

Cletus C.: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

Said he'd give you a call. Didn't. Not unique to bisexuals buddy.


3.bp.blogspot.com
"OH-HOOOOO!!! IS FUNNY BECAUSE EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE RAINBOW BUMPER STICKER ON CAR SECERTLY CRAVES THROBBING COCKS!"
 
2014-03-31 12:46:31 PM  

MrMouse: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

FTFY.  You're welcome.

The filthy things do carry leprosy so yeah, don't associate with them. If you eat them, don't prepare them, that's still not 100% safe.
 
2014-03-31 12:46:54 PM  

brimed03: mercator_psi: ...And of course, it goes to 11. That would be for people with armadillos down their trousers.

Thank you for recognizing our existence. It's nice to feel validated.


It's a surprisingly underreported population.

Although everyone knows the armadillos themselves are always up for it.
 
2014-03-31 12:47:23 PM  
This seems to be one of those things that I hear people always complain about, and I have never actually seen happen.

Come on, bisexual women. You hit the sexual preference lottery. You have more available compatible partners than anyone else, and are the most desirable. Just learn to be happy about that and stop being offended by innocuous questions.
 
2014-03-31 12:47:31 PM  
 
2014-03-31 12:47:58 PM  

dragonchild: Lady J: sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive

The spectrum itself is rather misleading.  The one thing that struck me about bisexuals is just how diverse they are.  I mean it makes sense if you think about it, but if you're a switch hitter you have two entirely different sets of preferences and it's almost never portrayed accurately.


There's also a distinction you can draw between bisexuals and pansexuals, if you want to talk about differences.

As I understand it, a "not-pansexual bisexual" likes their men to be "manly" and their women to be "womanly," with less attraction to androgyny.

The analogy I sometimes use is: "I love steak and I love ice cream, but I don't want steak à la mode"
 
2014-03-31 12:48:22 PM  

SquiggsIN: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

Oh isn't that cute the way you think everyone should think the way you do?


In fairness, he didn't say everyone should think that way, or even that he thinks that way about all bisexuals. He only observed that the few he knows share some negative traits.

Of course, in a thread about sex and gender identity, labels, and bisexual traits, it was a pretty thoughtless/troll-ly/stupid observation to make. Location and context matter.
 
2014-03-31 12:48:32 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


I'm right there with you; I'm more about "slut honoring". Without women of somewhat loose moral fiber, I would never have had sex & I like sex. I would most likely have gone on a killing spree if it weren't for those brave & heroic women inviting me into their boudoir. On behalf of humanity: Thank you for your service!
 
2014-03-31 12:49:37 PM  
Everyone I've been involved with has been bisexual to some degree, and androgynous to an even greater degree. Bisexuals tend to find each other despite a lack of a "bisexual subculture".
 
2014-03-31 12:49:51 PM  
ciberido: ...On the other hand, I was once commiserating with a fellow bi woman about this kind of prejudice and her response was "Oh yeah, I totally have to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend.  I wouldn't limit myself to just one or the other."  I wanted to strangle her.

A few months later the same woman told me her boyfriend and girlfriend had both dumped her.... after they found out about each other.


This reminds me of some things that I've heard from poly people. It's possible to make that kind of relationship work but you have to be honest with your partners.
 
2014-03-31 12:50:39 PM  

ciberido: dragonchild: Lady J: sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive

The spectrum itself is rather misleading.  The one thing that struck me about bisexuals is just how diverse they are.  I mean it makes sense if you think about it, but if you're a switch hitter you have two entirely different sets of preferences and it's almost never portrayed accurately.

There's also a distinction you can draw between bisexuals and pansexuals, if you want to talk about differences.

As I understand it, a "not-pansexual bisexual" likes their men to be "manly" and their women to be "womanly," with less attraction to androgyny.

The analogy I sometimes use is: "I love steak and I love ice cream, but I don't want steak à la mode"


And this is what I meant with the confusing category thing. It can't just be a preference you have, you have to name yourself as a subculture.

Even to a liberal lib libby like me, it's confusing as hell.
 
2014-03-31 12:50:52 PM  

Cletus C.: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

Said he'd give you a call. Didn't. Not unique to bisexuals buddy.


Now *that's* how you respond to a troll!
 
2014-03-31 12:52:22 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: Bisexuals are "slutty."  They're men in denial about their homosexuality."  . . . this is what the mainstream media would have you believe about us.

Actually, no. I've never heard that.   Ever.  So if that's your opening premise and the first sentence of your argument, I'm not much interested in the balance of your spiel.


The statements in quotes contained links. This article wasn't a personal letter to you.
 
2014-03-31 12:52:33 PM  
What I learned on Fark today:

Stay away from straight, brown haired armadillos that work as plumbers.  They are goddamn filthy whores!

What are we talking about again?

Sorry, I'll let myself out of the thread.
 
2014-03-31 12:53:37 PM  
Is everything a culture now? Yoga pants culture. Whole wheat bread culture. Little league baseball culture.

Shaddup already!

Get over it. Who cares what your sexual orientation is.....
 
2014-03-31 12:53:54 PM  

ciberido: ByOwlLight: BorgiaGinz: Yup, Bisexual people are basically heterosexuals who like to dip a toe (or other appendages) into the gay pool once in a while. The true test of orientation is not sexual acts, but genuine attraction. Bi guys like to use gay men for fun, but they never, ever fall in love with them. A gay guy might think that he's dating a bi guy, but the bi guy is going to go home to his wife (that he never bothered to mention).

citationneeded.jpg

I THINK BorgiaGinz isn't giving her own opinion so much as relating common stereotypes about bisexuals that, unfortunately, many people believe.  So when you say "citation needed," are you asking her to prove that the stereotypes are TRUE or that they are BELIEVED?


IF that's what Borgia meant, that's not how it came across. Not to ByOwl, not to me and, I suspect, not to most everyone else based on both the responses and lack of responses it got.
 
2014-03-31 12:56:21 PM  

MrMouse: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

FTFY.  You're welcome.


As a person of armadillo orientation, I can confirm the truthiness of this.

Heartless shells, all of them.
 
2014-03-31 12:56:36 PM  
Lady J: "sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other"

Look at all the wacky porn that have become *genres*.  It's not even a continuum.
It's a giant series of check boxes.  And it isn't remotely limited to partner gender preference.
 
2014-03-31 01:01:11 PM  
As a ginger guy Im pretty sure if I played for both teams it would just double down on rejection.
 
2014-03-31 01:01:31 PM  
images.sodahead.com

GIS says this is what a bisexual woman looks like
 
2014-03-31 01:01:55 PM  

ciberido: A girlfriend dumped me once because I told her I was bisexual.  This was after she had asked me to move in with her.  She didn't care about how many other women I had slept with.  All that mattered was that I had dated (and might in the future date) guys.

On the other hand, I was once commiserating with a fellow bi woman about this kind of prejudice and her response was "Oh yeah, I totally have to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend.  I wouldn't limit myself to just one or the other."  I wanted to strangle her.

A few months later the same woman told me her boyfriend and girlfriend had both dumped her.... after they found out about each other.


I also learned the hard way that I needed to let potential girlfriends know that I was bi early on.  It is frustrating how hard it is to convince people that bisexual is not the same thing as polyamorous.

I've run into both men and women with the attitude of needing both a boyfriend and girlfriend "because they are bi", and I always want to shake some sense into them.  They may be bi, but they are also polyamorous and deceiving their lovers about it.  

There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.
 
2014-03-31 01:03:42 PM  

Cletus C.: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

Said he'd give you a call. Didn't. Not unique to bisexuals buddy.


Ha, got me.  I'm grammatically ambiguous, I'll conjugate anything.
 
2014-03-31 01:04:07 PM  
This has next to nothing to do with the train of conversation, but I really think the next novel I start writing is going to have two women (haven't decided whether they'll be lesbian or bisexual) as the main Battle Couple, so to speak (look it up on TV Tropes).

/first novel (unfinished and unreleased) delves into this somewhat
//typical boy meets girl scenario, but the characters are rather open; she has a FWB relationship with her best friend, while he has the same with his ex and may or may not have had a dalliance with a transsexual woman
///of course, all of this takes a backseat to the fact that PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL THEM
 
2014-03-31 01:04:56 PM  

wingedkat: SquiggsIN: I've seen it dozens of times.  It seems that many lesbians and gay men don't want bisexual partners because they are afraid of being cheated on with a member of the opposite gender more than a member of the same gender.  I've seen potentially great relationships halted by the revelation that some one has "dated on both sides in the past."

It is pretty frustrating.  Since coming out as bi, I have felt unwelcome in the gay scene and as a consequence I almost never meet women I can date.  So I don't date women, confirming the stereotype that bi women "always" end up with men.

 I'm of of the opinion it's damn near impossible to find a non-bisexual person truly comfortable with a bisexual partner.
Thus, bisexual males also mostly end up with females, and just don't express their bisexuality.  It's also why there's no "culture" for us... because we *can* "blend-in" in a psycho-sexual-social sense, we take the path of least resistance, and settle for less-than-fully-fulfilled sex lives with occasional nice surprises.Also, I have this theory:Relatively unenlightened hetero and homo people can abstractly understand one another: they are both attracted to one sex exclusively.  Even the dullest hetero man can understand homosexuality on the level of "he likes guys, in the same way girls like guys."  They might think it's wrong, but at least they understand it as something built-in: they didn't choose to like girls, and homos don't choose to like guys.  Bisexuality is outside of this: being attracted to "both" is beyond that level of abstraction.  Furthermore, the bisexual is more likely to be viewed as unprincipled or amoral: if they don't have rules about who they will have sex with like everyone else, what other rules might they not believe in?  It's almost as if hetero people think "well, at least the homosexual can't help himself.  He's just born that way, but he's a bisexual, he's choosing to be perverted, and simply doesn't care".
 
2014-03-31 01:05:18 PM  

mercator_psi: brimed03: mercator_psi: ...And of course, it goes to 11. That would be for people with armadillos down their trousers.

Thank you for recognizing our existence. It's nice to feel validated.

It's a surprisingly underreported population.

Although everyone knows the armadillos themselves are always up for it.


You'd think it would be news, but the only coverage I've seen was on our recent convention at the Albuquerque Holiday Inn. And *that* was mis-reported as the *Anteater* Lovers of America meeting!

/not that those anteaters aren't sexy too
//surprisingly little overlap in the communities but we all get along
///the article wasn't even really convention coverage, it was a music critic covering our booked entertainment act: "Billy and the Boingers"... you've probably never heard of them. They released one album in the 80s.
 
2014-03-31 01:05:50 PM  
omgwhothehellcares.jpg
 
2014-03-31 01:07:32 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: Zeb Hesselgresser: Bisexuals are "slutty."  They're men in denial about their homosexuality."  . . . this is what the mainstream media would have you believe about us.

Actually, no. I've never heard that.   Ever.  So if that's your opening premise and the first sentence of your argument, I'm not much interested in the balance of your spiel.

The statements in quotes contained links. This article wasn't a personal letter to you.


The first of which was a .youtube video, two of the following were HuffPo links.

However, you are correct, I did take the way you think I did.  However, upon re-examination, I still reject her premise.

Her war on Chasing Amy is bullshiat.
 
2014-03-31 01:07:40 PM  

SquiggsIN: Shadowknight: Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.

... and research has shown for decades that tradition is wrong because sexuality is not binary.


You don't even need research. You just need to go look at non-Western cultures, where non-binary gender assignment is relatively common.

Though I guess that is a type of research.
 
2014-03-31 01:10:14 PM  

SquiggsIN: MrMouse: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals  armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

FTFY.  You're welcome.

and they can carry leprosy!


Are you telling me that my dick is going to fall off now?
 
2014-03-31 01:11:26 PM  
The thing is you can't really complain that people won't date you based on whatever reasons they like. We're not talking about systemic discrimination, just jealous and insecure people, so I can't get too mad. They have the right to date whoever based on whatever. If someone's going to dump you for that shiat then they're probably doing you a favor. It obviously wasn't going to work with such a disparity in open-mindedness anyhow.
 
2014-03-31 01:12:47 PM  

SquiggsIN: BorgiaGinz: Shadowknight: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

Maybe a little of that, but I think for a lot of days that were brave enough to be "out" it felt like bisexuality was a way for more timid gay people to be out while not being all the way. Like they are hedging their bets or something. Like they were still too ashamed of themselves and/or the rest of the gay community to actually identify as such.

Yup, Bisexual people are basically heterosexuals who like to dip a toe (or other appendages) into the gay pool once in a while. The true test of orientation is not sexual acts, but genuine attraction. Bi guys like to use gay men for fun, but they never, ever fall in love with them. A gay guy might think that he's dating a bi guy, but the bi guy is going to go home to his wife  (that he never bothered to mention).

Were you going for dumbest comment in the thread?  You're pretty close to it.


Been there, got the experiences, your opinion is immaterial.
 
2014-03-31 01:13:22 PM  

wingedkat: I've run into both men and women with the attitude of needing both a boyfriend and girlfriend "because they are bi", and I always want to shake some sense into them. They may be bi, but they are also polyamorous and deceiving their lovers about it.

There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.


I've met a lot of guys like this. They say it "doesn't count" as cheating. People are selfish jerks.
 
2014-03-31 01:13:41 PM  
And I'm a guy.
 
2014-03-31 01:13:51 PM  

ciberido: Homophones hate us


What a homophone might look like.

rlv.zcache.com

/knows what you meant, couldnt resist
 
2014-03-31 01:14:24 PM  

ciberido: dragonchild: Lady J: sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive

The spectrum itself is rather misleading.  The one thing that struck me about bisexuals is just how diverse they are.  I mean it makes sense if you think about it, but if you're a switch hitter you have two entirely different sets of preferences and it's almost never portrayed accurately.

There's also a distinction you can draw between bisexuals and pansexuals, if you want to talk about differences.

As I understand it, a "not-pansexual bisexual" likes their men to be "manly" and their women to be "womanly," with less attraction to androgyny.

The analogy I sometimes use is: "I love steak and I love ice cream, but I don't want steak à la mode"


This is the first explanation of why people (me apparently) should use the term "pansexual" that I've understood.   But I'm monogamous and currently out of the dating game so it isn't as necessary for me to label myself correctly.
 
2014-03-31 01:15:00 PM  
Great title, subb.
 
2014-03-31 01:15:35 PM  

pacified: omgwhothehellcares.jpg


Thank you for covering this obligatory but entirely self-centered and dumb Fark meme.

/if nobody cared, the link wouldn't have been approved
//but go on imagining only your values and interests matter
 
2014-03-31 01:16:19 PM  

JPINFV: Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?


I dont have much of a stereotype for brunettes that keep thier natural hair colour,

but most "crazy redheads" and most "dumb blondes" are in my experience bottle redheads and bottle blondes rather than naturals, so brunettes that dont like being brunettes are either crazy or dumb is my stereotype for them.
 
2014-03-31 01:16:24 PM  
I'm in the "it's none of my business who you find attractive unless (1) it's me or (2) there's pictures or videos of what you do on the internet" camp.

In my experience, (1) is less likely than (2). But in spite of this I've still have various kinds of fun in spite of growing up extremely repressed and being a solid 4/10 where attractiveness is concerned (although "eye of the beholder" does seem to be a thing. I don't try too hard to understand when someone wants me anyway.)

You want a clean, convenient label? "Freak". I'm too busy jamming your culture to belong to one myself.
 
2014-03-31 01:17:13 PM  

Shadowknight: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.


No, it was only binary in countries ruled by theists, in traditional societies (see Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, Mesopotamians, etc) it was much more fluid (much more like our biological indentities as rediscovered by Kinsey et al)
 
2014-03-31 01:17:35 PM  
It's funny how men are included when it's only women writing these victim articles. Men suffer from it too, but somehow their complaints aren't profitable
 
2014-03-31 01:17:59 PM  

brimed03: mercator_psi: brimed03: mercator_psi: ...And of course, it goes to 11. That would be for people with armadillos down their trousers.

Thank you for recognizing our existence. It's nice to feel validated.

It's a surprisingly underreported population.

Although everyone knows the armadillos themselves are always up for it.

You'd think it would be news, but the only coverage I've seen was on our recent convention at the Albuquerque Holiday Inn. And *that* was mis-reported as the *Anteater* Lovers of America meeting!

/not that those anteaters aren't sexy too
//surprisingly little overlap in the communities but we all get along
///the article wasn't even really convention coverage, it was a music critic covering our booked entertainment act: "Billy and the Boingers"... you've probably never heard of them. They released one album in the 80s.


Yeah, I was into them for a while. I preferred their later reincarnation "Deathtöngue" though.

/"Huge slam on anteaters out of nowhere!" - MST3K, 'Overdrawn at the Memory Bank'
 
2014-03-31 01:18:21 PM  

MrMouse: SquiggsIN: MrMouse: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals  armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

FTFY.  You're welcome.

and they can carry leprosy!

Are you telling me that my dick is going to fall off now?


Still haven't found the thread exit, eh?

/it's hard to leave when you can't find the door
 
2014-03-31 01:18:43 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Interesting perspectives, both. I owe both of you an apology for the glibness in my post. Honestly, I hadn't really thought about this much, so I'm a biatchagrined that my ignorance is showing. I appreciate the civility that you showed me in your corrections, as you could have justifiably been offended and replied accordingly. Now I'm enlightened on the subject and not defensive about it. Thanks.


You are welcome, and I'm glad I could help.  Your response has made my day.
 
2014-03-31 01:18:44 PM  
wingedkat:
There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.

Much like someone posted above, and much like political orientation, one axis of sexuality is not sufficient.  You need at least three:

Biological sexual preference: homosexual -> bisexual -> heterosexual
Gender sexual preference: feminine -> neuter -> masculine
Multiplicity preference: monogomous -> "open relationship" (circumstantially polyamorous) -> polyamorous

Thus, your stereotypical homosexual bear-chaser would be a homosexual, masculine, and polyamorous (thus the chaser part).

Thinking like this would make it clear that bisexuality does not imply promiscuity.

However, once you get to this point, labels cease to be informative and become confusing... and then you start mistakenly reifying adjectives into hard categories.  That way lies madness and no-true-Scotsman genital waving.
 
2014-03-31 01:20:17 PM  

brimed03: pacified: omgwhothehellcares.jpg

Thank you for covering this obligatory but entirely self-centered and dumb Fark meme.

/if nobody cared, the link wouldn't have been approved
//but go on imagining only your values and interests matter


continue to define yourself by who you want to shack up with.  It's so exciting.
 
2014-03-31 01:21:27 PM  

MrMouse: The Flexecutioner: I'm pretty sure the mainstream media has told me nothing about bisexuality, much like this blog someone got paid to write in the form of an article.

I'm more of a trysexual.  Ya know, I'm willing to try, like, all the time.  I'm a part of the LGBNAF community.

/yes, obscure

Is there a community for people who like to have sex with themselves?  Because I would...uh...be interested in a pamphlet or two.


yes, it's called married men.
 
2014-03-31 01:21:32 PM  

sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.


I always thought it was 'buy me stuff and I'll have sex with you'

Nobody wants to buy me anything
 
2014-03-31 01:22:23 PM  

brimed03: MrMouse: SquiggsIN: MrMouse: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals  armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

FTFY.  You're welcome.

and they can carry leprosy!

Are you telling me that my dick is going to fall off now?

Still haven't found the thread exit, eh?

/it's hard to leave when you can't find the door


I am still trying to find out what sexual orientation I am.  This thread is certainly not helping.
 
2014-03-31 01:23:07 PM  

SuperChuck: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I always thought it was 'buy me stuff and I'll have sex with you'

Nobody wants to buy me anything


And I thought it was 'if I want to have sex I buy it.'
 
2014-03-31 01:23:46 PM  

wingedkat: I'm monogamous and currently out of the dating game so it isn't as necessary for me to label myself correctly.


There may not be anything at stake now, but I think it's important to learn how to describe yourself accurately to others.  It shouldn't matter in forming one's opinion of someone, but we humans are social creatures and an effort to know you should be met with an obligation to use the right words to avoid confusion.
 
2014-03-31 01:23:48 PM  

ciberido: JPINFV: Why does every little thing need to have a culture attached to it? What's next, brown hair culture?

We tried that already.

[fc07.deviantart.net image 850x637]

Didn't work.


img1.imensagens.com
 
2014-03-31 01:24:48 PM  

Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.



It came from science, basically.

Several studies have been done to measure arousal patterns of men who identify as homo, hetero, and bi.  Most men who self-identify as bi have arousal patterns identical to homosexual and show zero arousal to females, some have arousal patterns identical to hetero showing zero arousal to males, none showed arousal patterns to both female and male sexual stimuli despite their self-identification.  These studies apparently offended people who identify as bi.

Here's the article about the 2005 study.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/health/05sex.html?pagewanted=all
 
2014-03-31 01:24:52 PM  

MrMouse: I am still trying to find out what sexual orientation I am. This thread is certainly not helping.


Here, let me help. You are gay for my dick. Now get to work.
 
2014-03-31 01:25:32 PM  

grumpfuff: SquiggsIN: Shadowknight: Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.

... and research has shown for decades that tradition is wrong because sexuality is not binary.

You don't even need research. You just need to go look at non-Western cultures, where non-binary gender assignment is relatively common.

Though I guess that is a type of research.


shiat, you don't even need to do "research", just be voyeuristically curious and watch TV:  National Geographic's "Taboo" series has several episodes on "third genders" or other non-binary gender systems.  They're dumbed-down, but it's still NatGeo, so it's at least respectful and objective.
 
2014-03-31 01:28:28 PM  

Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.


Ok.

My wife and I are swingers and went to a swingers party on Saturday night.

We met a nice couple and after a few drinks the other wife and I went into a room and started making out. I went down on her and licked / fingered her until she came. By the time her husband and my wife walked in I was doing her doggy style.

My wife and the other husband watched us for a bit while touching each other and making out. They soon decided to copy us.

The making out and mutual masturbation had made my wife aroused to the point where he was able to easily slide into her. She and the other wife moaned into each other's mouths as they made out and we did them from behind. As he banged her harder and faster my wife said she was about to cum. When she did it made the other wife and I cum at the same time.

The other wife and I then took a break. It was our turn to watch as our spouses switched positions. My wife got on top and rode him to another orgasm. When he came she jumped off and sucked him. She swallowed almost all of his cum only leaving a little on her chin. The other wife then eased over and the ladies shared a deep kiss.

That kiss turned into their hands exploring their bodies. After a while my wife pushed her back then licked and sucked her to another orgasm. They switched to 69 and each made the other cum again several times. Every time more loud and leg shivering than the last. When they finally recovered from the euphoria of the last orgasm we all showered off and returned to the bar area for conversation and more drinks. After dancing a bit we met a third couple. The wife of couple #3 wanted to try two guys at once.

We all returned to the play rooms and I went down on wife #3 while she made out with husband #2. This eventually led to her sucking him. When she came we switched and husband #2 did her missionary style while straddled her face and she took me all the way into her throat. Our wives kept husband #3 company while he watched. When I looked over the ladies were 69-ing again and husband #3 was doing my wife from behind. He would occasionally slip out of her and into the mouth of wife #2.

Wife #3 told us she was about to cum again but wanted us to DP her when she did. She sat on husband #2 and after getting comfortable I slowly entered her back door. The feeling of rubbing together inside her was amazing! It made all three of us cum very quickly. Almost at the same time I heard my wife and wife #2 having a loud orgasm. My wife was on her back with wife #2's face in her crotch while husband #3 was balls deep in wife #2's ass. A few seconds after the ladies orgasm he filled his condom also.

After catching our breath, showering again, and a few more drinks couple #3 returned to the play rooms with another couple and we hung out with couple #2 until the end of the night. Upon returning home my wife and I had a long slow round of sex before going to sleep.


/There, satisfied?
 
2014-03-31 01:28:29 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: It's funny how men are included when it's only women writing these victim articles. Men suffer from it too, but somehow their complaints aren't profitable


Yeah, it is easier for a woman to be out as bi than a man.  Hopefully, as bi women are better accepted, bi men will be also.
 
2014-03-31 01:31:48 PM  

Fafai: MrMouse: I am still trying to find out what sexual orientation I am. This thread is certainly not helping.

Here, let me help. You are gay for my dick. Now get to work.


Ooooh, you are a charmer...can't wait for for some sexytime with you!  Do you have somewhere my kids can hang out while we make sexylove?
 
2014-03-31 01:32:29 PM  

robodog: No, it was only binary in countries ruled by theists, in traditional societies (see Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, Mesopotamians, etc) it was much more fluid (much more like our biological indentities as rediscovered by Kinsey et al)


1. By "traditional" you mean "Mediterranean". There's not much distinction between Roman/Greek and the Egyptian/Mesopotamian cultures of that time.
2. The older Egyptians were absolutely theists. Their king was considered to be god on earth.
 
2014-03-31 01:34:18 PM  

illannoyin: Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.

Ok.

My wife and I are swingers and went to a swingers party on Saturday night.

We met a nice couple and after a few drinks the other wife and I went into a room and started making out. I went down on her and licked / fingered her until she came. By the time her husband and my wife walked in I was doing her doggy style.

My wife and the other husband watched us for a bit while touching each other and making out. They soon decided to copy us.

The making out and mutual masturbation had made my wife aroused to the point where he was able to easily slide into her. She and the other wife moaned into each other's mouths as they made out and we did them from behind. As he banged her harder and faster my wife said she was about to cum. When she did it made the other wife and I cum at the same time.

The other wife and I then took a break. It was our turn to watch as our spouses switched positions. My wife got on top and rode him to another orgasm. When he came she jumped off and sucked him. She swallowed almost all of his cum only leaving a little on her chin. The other wife then eased over and the ladies shared a deep kiss.

That kiss turned into their hands exploring their bodies. After a while my wife pushed her back then licked and sucked her to another orgasm. They switched to 69 and each made the other cum again several times. Every time more loud and leg shivering than the last. When they finally recovered from the euphoria of the last orgasm we all showered off and returned to the bar area for conversation and more drinks. After dancing a bit we met a third couple. The wife of couple #3 wanted to try two guys at once.

We all returned to the play rooms and I went down on wife #3 while she made out with husband #2. This eventually led to her sucking him. When she came we switched and husband #2 did her missionary style while straddled her face and she took me all the way into her throat. Our wives kept husband #3 company while he watched. When I looked over the ladies were 69-ing again and husband #3 was doing my wife from behind. He would occasionally slip out of her and into the mouth of wife #2.

Wife #3 told us she was about to cum again but wanted us to DP her when she did. She sat on husband #2 and after getting comfortable I slowly entered her back door. The feeling of rubbing together inside her was amazing! It made all three of us cum very quickly. Almost at the same time I heard my wife and wife #2 having a loud orgasm. My wife was on her back with wife #2's face in her crotch while husband #3 was balls deep in wife #2's ass. A few seconds after the ladies orgasm he filled his condom also.

After catching our breath, showering again, and a few more drinks couple #3 returned to the play rooms with another couple and we hung out with couple #2 until the end of the night. Upon returning home my wife and I had a long slow round of sex before going to sleep.


/There, satisfied?


Go on...
 
2014-03-31 01:36:54 PM  

illannoyin: Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.

Ok.

My wife and I are swingers and went to a swingers party on Saturday night.

We met a nice couple and after a few drinks the other wife and I went into a room and started making out. I went down on her and licked / fingered her until she came. By the time her husband and my wife walked in I was doing her doggy style.

My wife and the other husband watched us for a bit while touching each other and making out. They soon decided to copy us.

The making out and mutual masturbation had made my wife aroused to the point where he was able to easily slide into her. She and the other wife moaned into each other's mouths as they made out and we did them from behind. As he banged her harder and faster my wife said she was about to cum. When she did it made the other wife and I cum at the same time.

The other wife and I then took a break. It was our turn to watch as our spouses switched positions. My wife got on top and rode him to another orgasm. When he came she jumped off and sucked him. She swallowed almost all of his cum only leaving a little on her chin. The other wife then eased over and the ladies shared a deep kiss.

That kiss turned into their hands exploring their bodies. After a while my wife pushed her back then licked and sucked her to another orgasm. They switched to 69 and each made the other cum again several times. Every time more loud and leg shivering than the last. When they finally recovered from the euphoria of the last orgasm we all showered off and returned to the bar area for conversation and more drinks. After dancing a bit we met a third couple. The wife of couple #3 wanted to try two guys at once.

We all returned to the play rooms and I went down on wife #3 while she made out with husband #2. This eventually led to her sucking him. When she came we switched and hus ...


Wait.  No armadillos or anteaters involved?  FTS!
 
2014-03-31 01:37:25 PM  
Last time this came up in another article, there was a line "Some people like red cars.  Some people like blue cars.  Some people like both colors, but they only have a one-car garage."

Seems legit.
 
2014-03-31 01:37:54 PM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: These studies apparently offended people who identify as bi.

Here's the article about the 2005 study.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/health/05sex.html?pagewanted=all

 No, we aren't offended by the study.  We're offended by people saying we don't exist, or are confused as to what we're attracted to because of that study.
A far better study, and probably more accurate, would be to have the take a sexual survey questionnaire, similar to Kinsey, and incorporate both their identified sexuality and their expressed sexuality."In the new study, a team of psychologists directly measured genital arousal patterns in response to images of men and women."This measuring device is notoriously finicky.   A better study would use fMRI.
 
2014-03-31 01:40:15 PM  

wingedkat: it is easier for a woman to be out as bi than a man.


I'd imagine that really depends on where you live and whether you can stand the derp.  If you're an attention-seeker at a liberal college campus there's almost no downside because the stereotype caters to you; it's to the point that straight women pretend to be bi.  So yeah, odds are that's a lot easier than being a bi man, I suppose.  In areas where bigotry is alive and well, you're an "impure fornicating abomination and insult to God" either way, so odds are the only difference gender makes is just what they choose to do to make your life miserable.

I'm using extremes to make a point here, but I think the lesson for the thread is that whatever one assumes about bisexuality. . . don't.
 
2014-03-31 01:44:25 PM  

dragonchild: wingedkat: I'm monogamous and currently out of the dating game so it isn't as necessary for me to label myself correctly.

There may not be anything at stake now, but I think it's important to learn how to describe yourself accurately to others.  It shouldn't matter in forming one's opinion of someone, but we humans are social creatures and an effort to know you should be met with an obligation to use the right words to avoid confusion.


I'm open about being bisexual as opposed to homosexual or heterosexual.  Identifying as neither gay nor straight is important, because there is such confusion about it.    For now, "bisexual" is the more general category, and really that's as much as anyone I'm not trying to ask out on a date needs to know.

If "pansexual" or "omnisexual" become generally accepted as a category that includes bisexual, I'll happily identify as either instead... but I'll let the gender studies folks work that out.  Right now, those two terms are even more confusing than "bisexual" and I don't feel the need to go around trying to explain the differences.
 
2014-03-31 01:45:40 PM  
There are so many reasons and so many ways that the hate for bisexuals can form and spread, but it all boils down to a lack of empathy and a need to look down on someone.  Even the lowest person on the social ladder has someone, NEEDS someone, to hate.
 
2014-03-31 01:47:59 PM  

MrMouse: Wait. No armadillos or anteaters involved? FTS!


Sorry, not last weekend.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia
 
2014-03-31 01:52:32 PM  

bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.


If most of the people you hang out with a predatory and amoral, maybe that says more about you than them.
 
2014-03-31 01:55:38 PM  

illannoyin: Cletus C.: Rwa2play: illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.

This should be the standard response.

This right here.

Actually, I'd be interested in more details.

Ok.

My wife and I are swingers and went to a swingers party on Saturday night.

We met a nice couple and after a few drinks the other wife and I went into a room and started making out. I went down on her and licked / fingered her until she came. By the time her husband and my wife walked in I was doing her doggy style.

My wife and the other husband watched us for a bit while touching each other and making out. They soon decided to copy us.

The making out and mutual masturbation had made my wife aroused to the point where he was able to easily slide into her. She and the other wife moaned into each other's mouths as they made out and we did them from behind. As he banged her harder and faster my wife said she was about to cum. When she did it made the other wife and I cum at the same time.

The other wife and I then took a break. It was our turn to watch as our spouses switched positions. My wife got on top and rode him to another orgasm. When he came she jumped off and sucked him. She swallowed almost all of his cum only leaving a little on her chin. The other wife then eased over and the ladies shared a deep kiss.

That kiss turned into their hands exploring their bodies. After a while my wife pushed her back then licked and sucked her to another orgasm. They switched to 69 and each made the other cum again several times. Every time more loud and leg shivering than the last. When they finally recovered from the euphoria of the last orgasm we all showered off and returned to the bar area for conversation and more drinks. After dancing a bit we met a third couple. The wife of couple #3 wanted to try two guys at once.

We all returned to the play rooms and I went down on wife #3 while she made out with husband #2. This eventually led to her sucking him. When she came we switched and hus ...


The Aristocrats!
 
2014-03-31 01:56:17 PM  

brimed03: ciberido: Cold_Sassy: If she'd just STFU about her sexual preferences and kept them private except to those with whom she'd consider a liaison, she wouldn't have this problem.  Quit yer whining!

Really?  Just stay in the closet?  That tired old canard?  You couldn't think of anything better?

"Quit whining" is Cold Sassy's standard response. It's how she shows how rugged she is. About other people's troubles, I mean.


So more cold than sassy, then.
 
2014-03-31 01:59:06 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Interesting perspectives, both. I owe both of you an apology for the glibness in my post


Nah, it's all good :)
 
2014-03-31 02:02:14 PM  

Clever Neologism: wingedkat:
There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.

Much like someone posted above, and much like political orientation, one axis of sexuality is not sufficient.  You need at least three:

Biological sexual preference: homosexual -> bisexual -> heterosexual
Gender sexual preference: feminine -> neuter -> masculine
Multiplicity preference: monogomous -> "open relationship" (circumstantially polyamorous) -> polyamorous

Thus, your stereotypical homosexual bear-chaser would be a homosexual, masculine, and polyamorous (thus the chaser part).

Thinking like this would make it clear that bisexuality does not imply promiscuity.

However, once you get to this point, labels cease to be informative and become confusing... and then you start mistakenly reifying adjectives into hard categories.  That way lies madness and no-true-Scotsman genital waving.


hmm.  yes, this does get a bit too complicated for anything outside  sociology or gender studies theories.

For one thing, "chasing"  says nothing about polyamory.  A "chaser" expresses a type preference that neither excludes monogamy nor requires love.  

You also need something that describes sex without love or commitment.
 
2014-03-31 02:02:23 PM  
ciberido:Being bisexual isn't the best of both worlds.  If anything, it's the worst of both worlds.  We get it from both ends.

Well... I've gotta tell you, when I hear a guy is bi, him getting it from both ends is pretty much the first thing I think of. But all the videos say that they like it. Stop shattering my illusions.

Homophones hate us as much or more than they do "mono" gays, but we're "not gay enough" or "in denial" or "have straight privilege" in the minds of the rest of the lbgtq community.

The Bare Bears hate you? That's bad news.

That said, if you offered me a magic pill which would make me non bisexual, I don't know that I'd take it.

I've got a cure, but you take it in suppository form; twice at bedtime, then call me in the morning.
 
2014-03-31 02:04:44 PM  
SquiggsIN:
I would correct you on one point.  Polyamorous does not mean promiscuous and vice-versa.

I guess that's technically true.  Promiscuous means, apart from any pejorative connotation, both multitude and variety.  Polyamorous only means many... so I guess one could be polyamorous and always be with the same stereotype or something.

Something tells me, though, that you were immediately reacting to the pejorative sense of promiscuous.  I want to take that word back, like "slut" (but not porch-monkey).   I think sexually expressing yourself with many people, *and* a wide variety of people, is a good thing.  Life is exploration.
 
2014-03-31 02:08:55 PM  

illannoyin: Nobody cares who you like to have sex with.



Orly? Looks to me like a whole bunch of people care a whole lot.
 
2014-03-31 02:10:01 PM  

wingedkat: Clever Neologism: wingedkat:
There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.

Much like someone posted above, and much like political orientation, one axis of sexuality is not sufficient.  You need at least three:

Biological sexual preference: homosexual -> bisexual -> heterosexual
Gender sexual preference: feminine -> neuter -> masculine
Multiplicity preference: monogomous -> "open relationship" (circumstantially polyamorous) -> polyamorous

Thus, your stereotypical homosexual bear-chaser would be a homosexual, masculine, and polyamorous (thus the chaser part).

Thinking like this would make it clear that bisexuality does not imply promiscuity.

However, once you get to this point, labels cease to be informative and become confusing... and then you start mistakenly reifying adjectives into hard categories.  That way lies madness and no-true-Scotsman genital waving.

hmm.  yes, this does get a bit too complicated for anything outside  sociology or gender studies theories.

For one thing, "chasing"  says nothing about polyamory.  A "chaser" expresses a type preference that neither excludes monogamy nor requires love.  

You also need something that describes sex without love or commitment.


See, this is where I've had problems with polyamory. It tends to get over-thought and over-analyzed until the fun is sapped out of it. But that's just my personal experience. Much like bisexuality, not all attitudes and experiences are the same.
 
2014-03-31 02:13:22 PM  
There's no such thing as "bisexual", just slutty women who want to impress guys and gay men who are hedging their bets.
 
2014-03-31 02:16:12 PM  

JesusJuice: There's no such thing as "bisexual", just slutty women who want to impress guys and gay men who are hedging their bets.


The words "dropping a deuce" come to mind.
 
2014-03-31 02:16:28 PM  

Shadowknight: ciberido: dragonchild: Lady J: sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive

The spectrum itself is rather misleading.  The one thing that struck me about bisexuals is just how diverse they are.  I mean it makes sense if you think about it, but if you're a switch hitter you have two entirely different sets of preferences and it's almost never portrayed accurately.

There's also a distinction you can draw between bisexuals and pansexuals, if you want to talk about differences.

As I understand it, a "not-pansexual bisexual" likes their men to be "manly" and their women to be "womanly," with less attraction to androgyny.

The analogy I sometimes use is: "I love steak and I love ice cream, but I don't want steak à la mode"

And this is what I meant with the confusing category thing. It can't just be a preference you have, you have to name yourself as a subculture.


"Have to"?  No.  Dragonchild made a comment about the diversity of bisexuality and I expanded a bit on it.  I don't go around introducing myself as "a non-pansexual bisexual" or go to "non-pansexual" support groups or anything.
 
2014-03-31 02:23:25 PM  

Clever Neologism: SquiggsIN:
I would correct you on one point.  Polyamorous does not mean promiscuous and vice-versa.

I guess that's technically true.  Promiscuous means, apart from any pejorative connotation, both multitude and variety.  Polyamorous only means many... so I guess one could be polyamorous and always be with the same stereotype or something.

Something tells me, though, that you were immediately reacting to the pejorative sense of promiscuous.  I want to take that word back, like "slut" (but not porch-monkey).   I think sexually expressing yourself with many people, *and* a wide variety of people, is a good thing.  Life is exploration.


Generally speaking, promiscuous implies that your partners don't necessarily know each other, nor are they necessarily consenting to you sleeping with other people. In a polyamorous one, all involved parties should know and be consenting.
 
2014-03-31 02:24:59 PM  

Clever Neologism: wingedkat: SquiggsIN: I've seen it dozens of times.  It seems that many lesbians and gay men don't want bisexual partners because they are afraid of being cheated on with a member of the opposite gender more than a member of the same gender.  I've seen potentially great relationships halted by the revelation that some one has "dated on both sides in the past."

It is pretty frustrating.  Since coming out as bi, I have felt unwelcome in the gay scene and as a consequence I almost never meet women I can date.  So I don't date women, confirming the stereotype that bi women "always" end up with men.
 I'm of of the opinion it's damn near impossible to find a non-bisexual person truly comfortable with a bisexual partner.
Thus, bisexual males also mostly end up with females, and just don't express their bisexuality.  It's also why there's no "culture" for us... because we *can* "blend-in" in a psycho-sexual-social sense, we take the path of least resistance, and settle for less-than-fully-fulfilled sex lives with occasional nice surprises.Also, I have this theory:Relatively unenlightened hetero and homo people can abstractly understand one another: they are both attracted to one sex exclusively.  Even the dullest hetero man can understand homosexuality on the level of "he likes guys, in the same way girls like guys."  They might think it's wrong, but at least they understand it as something built-in: they didn't choose to like girls, and homos don't choose to like guys.


Many people see see being bisexual as being both gay and straight, but some people see bisexuality as being a "third orientation," neither heterosexual nor homosexual.  I have to admit there are times when I feel exclusively-gay and exclusively-heterosexual people have more in common with each other than either group does with bisexuals.  Being only attracted to the same sex and being only attracted to the opposite sex seem equally "weird" to me.
 
2014-03-31 02:27:13 PM  

Shadowknight: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.


0           l
0          /
0       ―
0    ―
0 ―

/Binary makes me hot
 
2014-03-31 02:27:51 PM  
wingedkat:

For one thing, "chasing"  says nothing about polyamory.  A "chaser" expresses a type preference that neither excludes monogamy nor requires love.

Bad example for the first reason (might be serial monogamist), but not the second.    It was hard to find a pithy description of a person that incorporated all three axes.

I am using polyamory without any supposition as to love, despite the roots in the word.  It's simply descriptive sexual behavior.

There doesn't seem to be a good, basic word for the strict opposite of "monogamous".  Polygamous is restricted to 1-to-many male to female (and also ties into marital structure and not just sexual behavior).  I got dinged for promiscuous earlier too.  The polys don't like you using polyamorous in that sense, because they want to distinguish themselves from other people who "just want a lot of sex" (as if that isn't enough of a reason, or somehow less worthy of respect).

Again, this is a byproduct of labels.  When you make a common adjective a label, you prevent other people from talking about the subject area using those adjectives without being *extremely* careful about exactly who is listening, what assumptions they might make, etc.  Especially in a public forum where everyone can respond.

If you use *any* adjective related to sexual behavior, *someone* isn't going to like how you are using it, probably because they identify with that adjective, have made it part of themselves, and not by using it wrong, you are in effect misusing *them*.

At that point, respectful discourse becomes damn near impossible.  Trust me, my roommate and partner works for a Feminist Health Center, is as sexually enlightened as the best of us, is extremely careful with language, and has been in kink/poly/queer circles.  She *still* has trouble doing even basic interaction with the community on occasion, *especially* online.

You also need something that describes sex without love or commitment.

Sure.  That would be hard to objectively gauge though, especially love.  How about longevity of relationships?  That would probably serve as a useful proxy measurement.  There are serial monogamists and polyamorous networks that are deeply committed to their multiple partners over decades.

The choice of axes should be made based on what is important information for you.
 
2014-03-31 02:28:17 PM  

ciberido: Shadowknight: ciberido: dragonchild: Lady J: sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive

The spectrum itself is rather misleading.  The one thing that struck me about bisexuals is just how diverse they are.  I mean it makes sense if you think about it, but if you're a switch hitter you have two entirely different sets of preferences and it's almost never portrayed accurately.

There's also a distinction you can draw between bisexuals and pansexuals, if you want to talk about differences.

As I understand it, a "not-pansexual bisexual" likes their men to be "manly" and their women to be "womanly," with less attraction to androgyny.

The analogy I sometimes use is: "I love steak and I love ice cream, but I don't want steak à la mode"

And this is what I meant with the confusing category thing. It can't just be a preference you have, you have to name yourself as a subculture.

"Have to"?  No.  Dragonchild made a comment about the diversity of bisexuality and I expanded a bit on it.  I don't go around introducing myself as "a non-pansexual bisexual" or go to "non-pansexual" support groups or anything.


So if ones tastes included both Oysters and Snails, why would one limit themself to just men men and women women, I mean if you liked both wouldnt some nice T&C like Baily Jay be right up your alley?
 
2014-03-31 02:29:07 PM  

Fafai: The thing is you can't really complain that people won't date you based on whatever reasons they like. We're not talking about systemic discrimination, just jealous and insecure people, so I can't get too mad. They have the right to date whoever based on whatever. If someone's going to dump you for that shiat then they're probably doing you a favor. It obviously wasn't going to work with such a disparity in open-mindedness anyhow.


Depends on what exactly "complaining" means.

In the sense of "Damn this sucks," yes, I can complain.

In the sense of "She's a biphobic bigoted judgmental ass for not dating me just because I'm bisexual," no I can't.
 
2014-03-31 02:33:21 PM  

fredbox: I'm in the "it's none of my business who you find attractive unless (1) it's me or (2) there's pictures or videos of what you do on the internet" camp.

In my experience, (1) is less likely than (2). But in spite of this I've still have various kinds of fun in spite of growing up extremely repressed and being a solid 4/10 where attractiveness is concerned (although "eye of the beholder" does seem to be a thing. I don't try too hard to understand when someone wants me anyway.)

You want a clean, convenient label? "Freak". I'm too busy jamming your culture to belong to one myself.


Sure, I'm a freak.  But am I superfreak, that's the question.

/I do like incense, wine, and candles.
 
2014-03-31 02:33:50 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: "You people and your quaint little categories."


At least he leaves the poodles alone unlike his dirty ex partner
 
2014-03-31 02:39:45 PM  

wingedkat: Identifying as neither gay nor straight is important, because there is such confusion about it. For now, "bisexual" is the more general category, and really that's as much as anyone I'm not trying to ask out on a date needs to know.

I agree as far as someone you're not emotionally invested in; the conversation takes time so you might as well only get specific when there's something to be gained.  But a date?  What about just a friend who wants to get to know you better?  Not that you owe anyone here an explanation for anything; I'm just curious about where you're drawing the line and why.  The whole thread seems to be about how badly misunderstood bisexuals are, but that's going to perpetuate as long as bisexuals aren't taking the time to explain themselves even to people who aren't just looking for an excuse to judge them.
 
2014-03-31 02:44:41 PM  

Clever Neologism: wingedkat:
There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.

Much like someone posted above, and much like political orientation, one axis of sexuality is not sufficient.  You need at least three:

Biological sexual preference: homosexual -> bisexual -> heterosexual
Gender sexual preference: feminine -> neuter -> masculine
Multiplicity preference: monogomous -> "open relationship" (circumstantially polyamorous) -> polyamorous

Thus, your stereotypical homosexual bear-chaser would be a homosexual, masculine, and polyamorous (thus the chaser part).


If you really want to get into that level of precision, I would argue that we really ought to replace (or supplement) "homosexual" and "heterosexual" with "androphile" and "gynophile."

And no, just to be clear, and because someone made a fuss about this earlier, I don't mean that anyone who doesn't want to needs to worry about these labels.  But having exact labels and categories is useful IF you want to spend time talking about these issues at length.
 
2014-03-31 02:47:13 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-31 02:47:36 PM  

SquiggsIN: I tend to apply the pan/omni term only to people who aren't limited by gender OR gender-identity in their openness to attraction for another person.  There are pansexual people who would be able to find happiness with transgender / genderqueer individuals but, there are certainly bisexuals who are not attracted to these people and would only be attracted to gender-normative male and female persons.  I'm sure for people who have a hard time with the differences between bisexuality and homosexuality, the lines to things like pansexuality, polyamory, and many other people who don't neatly fit in other peoples' boxes is mind-boggling.  I can't expect people to embrace or understand everything but, I'd hope we can all word toward acceptance of whatever you identify as and whatever you identify as what you want.


Hmm.  I can't quite wrap my mind about needing to tell people that I'm attracted to transgender and genderqueer (among others) as part of being bisexual.  I'm out as bi to make bisexuality more visible and combat discrimination against bisexuality and homosexuality alike.  I'd like to support the acceptance of transgender and genderqueer within society, but I just don't feel like this is the way to do it.

I can almost see how this would be useful against the transgender and genderqueer discrimination.  However, I don't see a lot of additional discrimination against bisexuals willing to date transgender or genderqueer.  I also don't feel like having a bunch of bisexual people declaring that they don't care about gender is going to help all the transgender and genderqueer struggling with dating within the hetero- and homosexual communities.

Ultimately, announcing it feels like I'mmaking a larger statement about my sexual attraction than comfortable or necessary.   I'll happily put it on my dating profiles and use it if I'm actually available to date.
 
2014-03-31 02:48:08 PM  

MrMouse: brimed03: MrMouse: SquiggsIN: MrMouse: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals  armadillos and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people animals you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

FTFY.  You're welcome.

and they can carry leprosy!

Are you telling me that my dick is going to fall off now?

Still haven't found the thread exit, eh?

/it's hard to leave when you can't find the door

I am still trying to find out what sexual orientation I am.  This thread is certainly not helping.


You're welcome to call yourself "questioning" and join the lbgtq community that way.  Keeps your options open, and you don't have to pigeonhole yourself.

And if you end up deciding/realizing that you're not ANY kind of lbgtq, you can still stay on as a "straight ally" if you like.
 
2014-03-31 02:51:38 PM  

SquiggsIN: Somacandra: I'm more interested in people rather than plumbing. We'll make the plumbing work.

There are always attachments and fittings that can make any plumbing work with any other plumbing.

True in relationships and pipe-fitting.


I want to see that fitting spec
 
2014-03-31 02:57:12 PM  

weltallica: [i.imgur.com image 568x537]


Well that was...awkward.
 
2014-03-31 02:59:13 PM  

Cymbal: Good for her.  Sometimes you feel like splurging and ordering the choice roast beef.  Other times you just need to get your insides blasted by a cheap hotdog.


I'm eating lunch. I almost just shot a bean out of my nose. That was funny you bastard.
 
2014-03-31 03:05:34 PM  

Lady J: Skleenar: I don't get the whole "bisexuality doesn't exist" thing.  Is this some sort of mechanism to force same-sex attracted people into the gay demographic so it swells their numbers, or is is some hetero reaction to find some smaller group to shame (because it's a "choice") because we can't do that to the gays anymore?

I just never got where this came from.

sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive and you'd have to be a pretty open minded straight man to even consider it

the world according to lady j


I interviewed some gay guys in college for a human sexuality class presentation and posited that theory. It was not well accepted.

///That was 20+ years ago in a west Texas college though so......I suppose I should have been happy nobody tried to find the gay guys and beat them up.
 
2014-03-31 03:06:31 PM  

SquiggsIN: To me polyamory means what the words roots mean.  poly = many, amor = love.  To me polyamory is the ability and desire to have multiple, committed relationships regardless of the genders involved.  Promiscuity is about (forgive me ladies) getting your rocks off.  Again, these are my interpretation.


Mine as well.

Cletus C.: See, this is where I've had problems with polyamory. It tends to get over-thought and over-analyzed until the fun is sapped out of it. But that's just my personal experience. Much like bisexuality, not all attitudes and experiences are the same.


Polyamory requires a lot of care, thought, and communication *because* so many people interpret it differently.  

If that saps the fun out, there's a good chance people are getting hurt.
 
2014-03-31 03:10:50 PM  

ciberido: Many people see see being bisexual as being both gay and straight, but some people see bisexuality as being a "third orientation," neither heterosexual nor homosexual.  I have to admit there are times when I feel exclusively-gay and exclusively-heterosexual people have more in common with each other than either group does with bisexuals.  Being only attracted to the same sex and being only attracted to the opposite sex seem equally "weird" to me.


Yeah, same here.  I can't imagine caring more about *how* we have sex than personality, appearance, and mutual compatibility.  It is too strange.
 
2014-03-31 03:13:54 PM  

Clever Neologism: You also need something that describes sex without love or commitment.

Sure.  That would be hard to objectively gauge though, especially love.  How about longevity of relationships?  That would probably serve as a useful proxy measurement.  There are serial monogamists and polyamorous networks that are deeply committed to their multiple partners over decades.

The choice of axes should be made based on what is important information for you.


Definitions of polyamory aside, I have to say that defining the axes based on what is important to the individual makes communication difficult.
 
2014-03-31 03:16:32 PM  

SquiggsIN: HotWingConspiracy: Remove the word "bisexual" from my vocabulary, and I'm instantly more accepted in the lesbian scene; considered more dateable, and trustworthy, even.

That's because they hear "I'm probably going to ditch you for a man at some point" when you tell them you're bi. Right or wrong, the perception is "fickle"/

I think there's a big trust/security component thing here. The expanded pool of threats/competition to your relationship is more than some people wish to deal with.

I've seen it dozens of times.  It seems that many lesbians and gay men don't want bisexual partners because they are afraid of being cheated on with a member of the opposite gender more than a member of the same gender.  I've seen potentially great relationships halted by the revelation that some one has "dated on both sides in the past."

And another sad but true is that female bisexuality is still far more acceptable than male bisexuality.  girls can experiment and not be "gay" but if a guy crosses over he's "gay".


It's also more accepted because if a hetero guy finds out his SO has experience with/interest in girls the gut response is likely to be "farkin A threesomes!".

If a hetero girl finds out her SO has dabbled with/is interested in guys the gut response is likely to be "I'm a beard and one day he'll be honest with himself and leave me for a man".
 
2014-03-31 03:21:26 PM  
The box with "Attention whore" written on it ?
 
2014-03-31 03:29:12 PM  

Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.


That's an interesting post given your comments in political threads.
 
2014-03-31 03:29:18 PM  

dragonchild: wingedkat: Identifying as neither gay nor straight is important, because there is such confusion about it. For now, "bisexual" is the more general category, and really that's as much as anyone I'm not trying to ask out on a date needs to know.

I agree as far as someone you're not emotionally invested in; the conversation takes time so you might as well only get specific when there's something to be gained.  But a date?  What about just a friend who wants to get to know you better?  Not that you owe anyone here an explanation for anything; I'm just curious about where you're drawing the line and why.  The whole thread seems to be about how badly misunderstood bisexuals are, but that's going to perpetuate as long as bisexuals aren't taking the time to explain themselves even to people who aren't just looking for an excuse to judge them.


Well sure, if I were looking for a date I'd want to be as specific as possible, and on a dating site.  As mentioned before, I'm in a monogamous relationship, so I'm mainly out as bi as a form of support and visibility.  "Bisexual" serves the basic purpose of explaining that the people I'm attracted to are biologically both male and female.  The societal acceptance that people actually this way is the issue.  

I don't feel a need to specify my preferences for age, weight, hair color, clothing style, musical ability, kinks, or androgyny except when dating or looking for a date.   I did post a bit about the possibility of supporting transgender and genderqueer people by declaring my willingness to date them earlier.
 
2014-03-31 03:32:31 PM  

SquiggsIN: wingedkat: I may not have stated my thoughts clearly based on your response and I may be too tired to presently correct that issue.  I see bisexuals as people attracted to males and females and not genderqueer persons.  I see pansexuals as persons who have no limit on the type of person they'd consider as a partner.  I might be dead wrong but, I just see GQ as a third gender but not limited to a third gender because the term is more broad than a singular identity.  But, I don't know if i'm right or wrong to assume that genderqueer people are not necessarily bisexual but certainly could identify that way.  Also, some people aren't attracted to transgendered individuals regardless of the plumbing that person might have and those people can identify as any thing from L, G, B, T, Q, or straight.

The more anyone tries to compartmentalize, divide, or organize types of people into groups the more they realize how for some people the lines can completely blur.


SquiggsIN: wingedkat: I may not have stated my thoughts clearly based on your response and I may be too tired to presently correct that issue.  I see bisexuals as people attracted to males and females and not genderqueer persons.  I see pansexuals as persons who have no limit on the type of person they'd consider as a partner.  I might be dead wrong but, I just see GQ as a third gender but not limited to a third gender because the term is more broad than a singular identity.  But, I don't know if i'm right or wrong to assume that genderqueer people are not necessarily bisexual but certainly could identify that way.  Also, some people aren't attracted to transgendered individuals regardless of the plumbing that person might have and those people can identify as any thing from L, G, B, T, Q, or straight.

The more anyone tries to compartmentalize, divide, or organize types of people into groups the more they realize how for some people the lines can completely blur.


I may have accidentally quoted the wrong post with my reply.   

I'd go back and try to figure it out, but I need to leave for my shift.  Hopefully I'll be able to rejoin this conversation later.
 
2014-03-31 03:59:34 PM  

wingedkat: Cletus C.: See, this is where I've had problems with polyamory. It tends to get over-thought and over-analyzed until the fun is sapped out of it. But that's just my personal experience. Much like bisexuality, not all attitudes and experiences are the same.

Polyamory requires a lot of care, thought, and communication *because* so many people interpret it differently.

If that saps the fun out, there's a good chance people are getting hurt.


Well, if you're involved in such a relationship the care, thought and communication can be dealt with up-front and not need to be a continuing discussion and dissection within the relationship. I think that need to keep tending to that manual on how to do it right sometimes comes off as more self-justification.

That means guilt. And guilt is a fuse on such relationships. But like I said, not all experiences are the same.
 
2014-03-31 04:01:08 PM  

wingedkat: As mentioned before, I'm in a monogamous relationship, so I'm mainly out as bi as a form of support and visibility. "Bisexual" serves the basic purpose of explaining that the people I'm attracted to are biologically both male and female. The societal acceptance that people actually this way is the issue.  I don't feel a need to specify my preferences for age, weight, hair color, clothing style, musical ability, kinks, or androgyny except when dating or looking for a date.


I guess it comes down to individual definitions of TMI.  To some people, including me, it's just another topic of conversation in getting to know people, and I know no shortage of people who want to be better understood.  I don't think people find me particularly interesting based on the questions I get asked (especially as far as sexuality goes it's not like a straight man is a novelty), but I'm pretty open about these sorts of things.  That said, I don't demand anyone answer anything.  Some people are just more private than others and I gotta respect that.
 
2014-03-31 04:11:55 PM  

miscreant: sandbar67: I'm buysexual.

If you have sex with me, I'll buy you stuff.

I'd like a Ferrari... how much sex does that cost?


That could include your crowd of friends, mother, sisters, aunt, farm animals, vegetables, triple input and video would have to be a consideration.  Not to mention on demand for the life of the vehicle.
 
2014-03-31 04:29:42 PM  

brimed03: Cletus C.: bighairyguy: I've known a few bisexuals and the general trait they had in common was amorality, along with a side helping of predatory. Not the kind of people you'd want to associate with, even with your clothes on.

Said he'd give you a call. Didn't. Not unique to bisexuals buddy.

Now *that's* how you respond to a troll!


Wait, he may not have been trolling(though granted he probably was); if everyone is on a sliding scale of bisexuality then what he said could have a kernel of truth and just be wrong on causation.

An amoral predatory sociopath would be likely to engage in any behavior that nets them proceeds. Sex is a good way to get people to give you things.

So while bisexuals should be no more likely to be amoral predatory sociopaths those APS's should be more likely to engage all genders of people sexually to take advantage of them.

Hmmm.......
 
2014-03-31 05:08:06 PM  

Fafai: The thing is you can't really complain that people won't date you based on whatever reasons they like. We're not talking about systemic discrimination, just jealous and insecure people, so I can't get too mad. They have the right to date whoever based on whatever. If someone's going to dump you for that shiat then they're probably doing you a favor. It obviously wasn't going to work with such a disparity in open-mindedness anyhow.


Very true, and while it seems a strange way to do things to me it's their right and well there probably would be lots of other things that wouldn't work out. Also while I have had poly/ poly open relationships with male/female couples every involved knew what was up but the majority have been monogamous LTR of 2-5 yrs.

I'm single right now and I have no idea if my next relationship will be with a man, a woman or a gender fluid person I'm attracted to all kind of things but gender for me has never been very high on the list. I've been told I'm pan-sexual but I generally just use bi.
 
2014-03-31 05:10:57 PM  

perigee: ciberido:Being bisexual isn't the best of both worlds.  If anything, it's the worst of both worlds.  We get it from both ends.

Well... I've gotta tell you, when I hear a guy is bi, him getting it from both ends is pretty much the first thing I think of. But all the videos say that they like it. Stop shattering my illusions.

Homophones hate us as much or more than they do "mono" gays, but we're "not gay enough" or "in denial" or "have straight privilege" in the minds of the rest of the lbgtq community.

The Bare Bears hate you? That's bad news.


Oh, no.
queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com

Bare bears are just fine.
 
2014-03-31 05:11:22 PM  

SquiggsIN: Clever Neologism: wingedkat:
There's nothing wrong with being polyamorous, but no one has the right to be a lying sh*t about it.

Much like someone posted above, and much like political orientation, one axis of sexuality is not sufficient.  You need at least three:

Biological sexual preference: homosexual -> bisexual -> heterosexual
Gender sexual preference: feminine -> neuter -> masculine
Multiplicity preference: monogomous -> "open relationship" (circumstantially polyamorous) -> polyamorous

Thus, your stereotypical homosexual bear-chaser would be a homosexual, masculine, and polyamorous (thus the chaser part).

Thinking like this would make it clear that bisexuality does not imply promiscuity.

However, once you get to this point, labels cease to be informative and become confusing... and then you start mistakenly reifying adjectives into hard categories.  That way lies madness and no-true-Scotsman genital waving.

I would correct you on one point.  Polyamorous does not mean promiscuous and vice-versa.


Well said and a lying, deceitful piece of shiat can be straight, bi, or gay.
 
2014-03-31 05:13:55 PM  

Mr. Ekshun: Shadowknight: Voiceofreason01: Or people could, I don't know, grow the fark up and stop trying to put neat little labels on everything and forcing everyone else to fit into their tiny preconceived notion of how the world works. Also "slut shaming"....stop it, that shiat is not cool.

I'm with you on the slut shaming thing, but humans have always wanted things labeled. It's how we understand our world. Especially something like sexuality and gender assignment, which is traditionally rather binary.

0           l
0          /
0       ―
0    ―
0 ―

/Binary makes me hot


There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
 
2014-03-31 05:21:15 PM  

Clever Neologism: wingedkat:

For one thing, "chasing"  says nothing about polyamory.  A "chaser" expresses a type preference that neither excludes monogamy nor requires love.

Bad example for the first reason (might be serial monogamist), but not the second.    It was hard to find a pithy description of a person that incorporated all three axes.

I am using polyamory without any supposition as to love, despite the roots in the word.  It's simply descriptive sexual behavior.

There doesn't seem to be a good, basic word for the strict opposite of "monogamous".   Polygamous is restricted to 1-to-many male to female (and also ties into marital structure and not just sexual behavior).  I got dinged for promiscuous earlier too.


Actually, no, polygamous can mean any romantic/sexual relationship involving more than two people.  If you mean to imply specifically only one man with more than one woman, you need the word polygyny.  The -gam- in polygamy comes from the Greek word for "marriage," not the word for "woman."
 
2014-03-31 05:30:57 PM  

SquiggsIN: Clever Neologism: SquiggsIN:
I would correct you on one point.  Polyamorous does not mean promiscuous and vice-versa.

I guess that's technically true.  Promiscuous means, apart from any pejorative connotation, both multitude and variety.  Polyamorous only means many... so I guess one could be polyamorous and always be with the same stereotype or something.

Something tells me, though, that you were immediately reacting to the pejorative sense of promiscuous.  I want to take that word back, like "slut" (but not porch-monkey).   I think sexually expressing yourself with many people, *and* a wide variety of people, is a good thing.  Life is exploration.

You're taking it back for the community.  Bravo!  (I never heard the term until i saw that movie)

To me polyamory means what the words roots mean.  poly = many, amor = love.  To me polyamory is the ability and desire to have multiple, committed relationships regardless of the genders involved.  Promiscuity is about (forgive me ladies) getting your rocks off.  Again, these are my interpretation.


That sounds about right. Also there are poly where it's the same 3 or more people and poly open relationships where a couple or triad etc are each dating independently or bringing in new people to play with.
 
2014-03-31 05:38:08 PM  

SquiggsIN: I think this thread nicely shows that even among LGBT people terminology is a pain in the ass to master because certain people embrace a term and certain others view it as offensive.


Which just goes to show that queer folks are just plain folks.
 
2014-03-31 05:41:27 PM  

wingedkat: SquiggsIN: I tend to apply the pan/omni term only to people who aren't limited by gender OR gender-identity in their openness to attraction for another person.  There are pansexual people who would be able to find happiness with transgender / genderqueer individuals but, there are certainly bisexuals who are not attracted to these people and would only be attracted to gender-normative male and female persons.  I'm sure for people who have a hard time with the differences between bisexuality and homosexuality, the lines to things like pansexuality, polyamory, and many other people who don't neatly fit in other peoples' boxes is mind-boggling.  I can't expect people to embrace or understand everything but, I'd hope we can all word toward acceptance of whatever you identify as and whatever you identify as what you want.

Hmm.  I can't quite wrap my mind about needing to tell people that I'm attracted to transgender and genderqueer (among others) as part of being bisexual.  I'm out as bi to make bisexuality more visible and combat discrimination against bisexuality and homosexuality alike.  I'd like to support the acceptance of transgender and genderqueer within society, but I just don't feel like this is the way to do it.

I can almost see how this would be useful against the transgender and genderqueer discrimination.  However, I don't see a lot of additional discrimination against bisexuals willing to date transgender or genderqueer.  I also don't feel like having a bunch of bisexual people declaring that they don't care about gender is going to help all the transgender and genderqueer struggling with dating within the hetero- and homosexual communities.

Ultimately, announcing it feels like I'mmaking a larger statement about my sexual attraction than comfortable or necessary.   I'll happily put it on my dating profiles and use it if I'm actually available to date.


As a trans woman it's true not all bisexuals are okay with trans but the majority don't care if they were already interested in me. In some cases that also goes for gay women and straight men Gay men are not attracted to me, why why would they be? : )
 
2014-03-31 05:43:03 PM  

ciberido: Shadowknight: ciberido: dragonchild: Lady J: sexuality is a continuum, imo, from solely fancying men at one end to solely fancying women at the other (im sure im not the first person to say it). some people are right at one end, others are in the middle. most are a lot nearer one end than the other, but with a bit of wriggle room. there's more women drifting towards the middke than men, as they care less about people thinking they're gay (oh n0es!), and let's face it, buttsecks is pretty intrusive

The spectrum itself is rather misleading.  The one thing that struck me about bisexuals is just how diverse they are.  I mean it makes sense if you think about it, but if you're a switch hitter you have two entirely different sets of preferences and it's almost never portrayed accurately.

There's also a distinction you can draw between bisexuals and pansexuals, if you want to talk about differences.

As I understand it, a "not-pansexual bisexual" likes their men to be "manly" and their women to be "womanly," with less attraction to androgyny.

The analogy I sometimes use is: "I love steak and I love ice cream, but I don't want steak à la mode"

And this is what I meant with the confusing category thing. It can't just be a preference you have, you have to name yourself as a subculture.

"Have to"?  No.  Dragonchild made a comment about the diversity of bisexuality and I expanded a bit on it.  I don't go around introducing myself as "a non-pansexual bisexual" or go to "non-pansexual" support groups or anything.


Giggle : )
 
2014-03-31 05:45:10 PM  

notatrollorami: SquiggsIN: And another sad but true is that female bisexuality is still far more acceptable than male bisexuality.  girls can experiment and not be "gay" but if a guy crosses over he's "gay".

It's also more accepted because if a hetero guy finds out his SO has experience with/interest in girls the gut response is likely to be "farkin A threesomes!".

If a hetero girl finds out her SO has dabbled with/is interested in guys the gut response is likely to be "I'm a beard and one day he'll be honest with himself and leave me for a man".


There is truth in that.  Happily, as homosexuality and same-sex marriage become acceptable, there will be less need for beards and gay people will be honest with themselves from a much earlier age.
 
2014-03-31 05:55:14 PM  

SquiggsIN: I think this thread nicely shows that even among LGBT people terminology is a pain in the ass to master because certain people embrace a term and certain others view it as offensive.


For sure as a Bi/ pan/ trans and once poly girl in North Alabama some of the definitions Tabatha come out of places like Berkeley and the Northern Ivy league schools seem really weird.
 
2014-03-31 05:55:33 PM  
I am bisexual in that I will have and have had sex with men, but it is not a love thing it is a pleasure thing. When I have sex with a woman it can be a love thing or just pleasure depending on the relationship I have with the woman. I have never felt love for a man.
 
2014-03-31 06:05:11 PM  

wingedkat: ciberido: Many people see see being bisexual as being both gay and straight, but some people see bisexuality as being a "third orientation," neither heterosexual nor homosexual.  I have to admit there are times when I feel exclusively-gay and exclusively-heterosexual people have more in common with each other than either group does with bisexuals.  Being only attracted to the same sex and being only attracted to the opposite sex seem equally "weird" to me.

Yeah, same here.  I can't imagine caring more about *how* we have sex than personality, appearance, and mutual compatibility.  It is too strange.


Word, I know exactly what y'all mean.
 
2014-03-31 06:20:27 PM  

ciberido: SquiggsIN: I think this thread nicely shows that even among LGBT people terminology is a pain in the ass to master because certain people embrace a term and certain others view it as offensive.

Which just goes to show that queer folks are just plain folks.


Pretty much, everybody has there own individual concept of what types they're attracted too. I mean lots of straight guys are all about no fat girls they want trophy wife. ect. fine... some gay and bi people have different values of what's important in attraction as do straight women.

Also LGBT culture is split down culture and class lines. I've always been happy in the counterculture but I have known trans women that vote republican.
Also being in the South I've noticed some other things but that's not that bad and is the exception.
 
2014-03-31 06:37:00 PM  

SquiggsIN: wingedkat: I may not have stated my thoughts clearly based on your response and I may be too tired to presently correct that issue.  I see bisexuals as people attracted to males and females and not genderqueer persons.  I see pansexuals as persons who have no limit on the type of person they'd consider as a partner.  I might be dead wrong but, I just see GQ as a third gender but not limited to a third gender because the term is more broad than a singular identity.  But, I don't know if i'm right or wrong to assume that genderqueer people are not necessarily bisexual but certainly could identify that way.  Also, some people aren't attracted to transgendered individuals regardless of the plumbing that person might have and those people can identify as any thing from L, G, B, T, Q, or straight.

The more anyone tries to compartmentalize, divide, or organize types of people into groups the more they realize how for some people the lines can completely blur.


Well as far as the "some people aren't attracted to transgendered individuals regardless of the plumbing that person might have" I just want to say for the most part I understand and am fine with that for the most part. Although when someone dumps a post-op transsexual that they had been very into till they found out ether it wasn't much of an attraction or is is ignorance and bigotry, sorry. Just my two cents, and unless someone came honestly say they'd drop an infertile cis girl, then sorry no you can't use that.
 
2014-03-31 06:48:12 PM  

notatrollorami: It's also more accepted because if a hetero guy finds out his SO has experience with/interest in girls the gut response is likely to be "farkin A threesomes!".

Yes guy's think that but expecting that is stupid and the girls may just leave with one another and leave his clueless ass.

If a hetero girl finds out her SO has dabbled with/is interested in guys the gut response is likely to be "I'm a beard and one day he'll be honest with himself and leave me for a man".


I would guess it depends on the people involved.
 
2014-03-31 06:51:36 PM  

ciberido: notatrollorami: SquiggsIN: And another sad but true is that female bisexuality is still far more acceptable than male bisexuality.  girls can experiment and not be "gay" but if a guy crosses over he's "gay".

It's also more accepted because if a hetero guy finds out his SO has experience with/interest in girls the gut response is likely to be "farkin A threesomes!".

If a hetero girl finds out her SO has dabbled with/is interested in guys the gut response is likely to be "I'm a beard and one day he'll be honest with himself and leave me for a man".

There is truth in that.  Happily, as homosexuality and same-sex marriage become acceptable, there will be less need for beards and gay people will be honest with themselves from a much earlier age.


That's the truth and it's even possible that marriage equality will show all these differences aren't as big as some perceive then to be.
 
2014-03-31 06:59:07 PM  

ciberido: fredbox: I'm in the "it's none of my business who you find attractive unless (1) it's me or (2) there's pictures or videos of what you do on the internet" camp.

In my experience, (1) is less likely than (2). But in spite of this I've still have various kinds of fun in spite of growing up extremely repressed and being a solid 4/10 where attractiveness is concerned (although "eye of the beholder" does seem to be a thing. I don't try too hard to understand when someone wants me anyway.)

You want a clean, convenient label? "Freak". I'm too busy jamming your culture to belong to one myself.

Sure, I'm a freak.  But am I superfreak, that's the question.

/I do like incense, wine, and candles.


Well I'm not sure....

Superfreak
 
2014-03-31 07:02:19 PM  

Clever Neologism: I guess that's technically true.  Promiscuous means, apart from any pejorative connotation, both multitude and variety.  Polyamorous only means many... so I guess one could be polyamorous and always be with the same stereotype or something.


img.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-03-31 07:09:08 PM  

Profedius: I am bisexual in that I will have and have had sex with men, but it is not a love thing it is a pleasure thing. When I have sex with a woman it can be a love thing or just pleasure depending on the relationship I have with the woman. I have never felt love for a man.


Sorry, IMHO then you're not bi but just a slut, no offense, I've been a slut in the past and by slut I mean sleeping with people that a LTR is impossible with because of who our what they are. Sleep with a heavy girl you'd never hook up with you're a slut. Sleep with a guy that you wouldn't hook up with, the same. Being a slut is okay I've done it just be honest with the person and say no expectations past this.
 
2014-03-31 07:15:09 PM  

ciberido: notatrollorami: SquiggsIN: And another sad but true is that female bisexuality is still far more acceptable than male bisexuality.  girls can experiment and not be "gay" but if a guy crosses over he's "gay".

It's also more accepted because if a hetero guy finds out his SO has experience with/interest in girls the gut response is likely to be "farkin A threesomes!".

If a hetero girl finds out her SO has dabbled with/is interested in guys the gut response is likely to be "I'm a beard and one day he'll be honest with himself and leave me for a man".

There is truth in that.  Happily, as homosexuality and same-sex marriage become acceptable, there will be less need for beards and gay people will be honest with themselves from a much earlier age.


Amen to that:)

//supposed to be funny
 
2014-03-31 08:24:42 PM  
It doesn't help that "hot bisexual girl that puts on a sexy lesbian show for you before farking you" is such a profitable bit of farksmithery.  Low overhead, near-infinite demand, and easily inserted (predictable joke) into most brands of media means it's flippin' everywhere.  Good grief, "jumping the shark" has been replaced with the Lesbian kiss of death according to some.

Basically, people ruin everything.
 
2014-03-31 08:25:34 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: SquiggsIN: wingedkat: I may not have stated my thoughts clearly based on your response and I may be too tired to presently correct that issue.  I see bisexuals as people attracted to males and females and not genderqueer persons.  I see pansexuals as persons who have no limit on the type of person they'd consider as a partner.  I might be dead wrong but, I just see GQ as a third gender but not limited to a third gender because the term is more broad than a singular identity.  But, I don't know if i'm right or wrong to assume that genderqueer people are not necessarily bisexual but certainly could identify that way.  Also, some people aren't attracted to transgendered individuals regardless of the plumbing that person might have and those people can identify as any thing from L, G, B, T, Q, or straight.

The more anyone tries to compartmentalize, divide, or organize types of people into groups the more they realize how for some people the lines can completely blur.

Well as far as the "some people aren't attracted to transgendered individuals regardless of the plumbing that person might have" I just want to say for the most part I understand and am fine with that for the most part. Although when someone dumps a post-op transsexual that they had been very into till they found out ether it wasn't much of an attraction or is is ignorance and bigotry, sorry. Just my two cents, and unless someone came honestly say they'd drop an infertile cis girl, then sorry no you can't use that.


I'm not really proud of myself for saying this, but yeah, I think I might have trouble dating someone who is post op once I found out. There's a lot of cultural baggage attached there, and I wouldn't quite know how I felt about it.

Maybe I'd get past it, but possibly not. Who's to say, since I've been happily married since the end of high school. And since I have two kids, I'm fairly sure my wife has factory specs.

But if I had to imagine myself in those shoes, I don't know. I can see a lot of weird, awkward laughter like when I found out the wife was pregnant the first time (a slight surprise). And I don't see the relationship actually continuing, because as open minded as I'd like to think myself, there is an undeniable hangup for me. I certainly wouldn't get angry or threaten or worse, as I know happens.

Bottom line is that while I could be friends with someone like this without judgements, I admit that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable dating.
 
2014-03-31 08:54:17 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Profedius: I am bisexual in that I will have and have had sex with men, but it is not a love thing it is a pleasure thing. When I have sex with a woman it can be a love thing or just pleasure depending on the relationship I have with the woman. I have never felt love for a man.

Sorry, IMHO then you're not bi but just a slut, no offense, I've been a slut in the past and by slut I mean sleeping with people that a LTR is impossible with because of who our what they are.


I disagree.  First off, there's no harm or sin in being sexually attracted to someone without being romantically inserted.  The only sin would be dishonesty.

Second, it's not that abnormal to feel sexual attraction without feeling romantic attraction, or vice-versa.  And I've heard cases before today of people who frequently felt one without to another with an entire class of people.  It's apparently rather common among asexuals.

Third, if we do need another word besides "bisexual" to describe this, I think we can come up with something a little less pejorative than "slut."  Maybe, "asymmetrically bisexual" or "aromantically homosexual" or something?  I honestly don't know, but there's probably already a term anyway.

In any case, if anyone who ever desires to have sex with someone with whom they're not in love is a slut, most of the world is slutty.
 
2014-03-31 09:32:00 PM  

Shadowknight: Bottom line is that while I could be friends with someone like this without judgements, I admit that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable dating.


H eh, bottom line is if you want more kids don't date a 42 year old and yes I am. ( profile pic was taken at 40 I look about the same )
 
2014-03-31 09:34:13 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: I'm single right now and I have no idea if my next relationship will be with a man, a woman or a gender fluid person


So you're saying there's a chance?
 
2014-03-31 09:59:11 PM  

ciberido: tinfoil-hat maggie: Profedius: I am bisexual in that I will have and have had sex with men, but it is not a love thing it is a pleasure thing. When I have sex with a woman it can be a love thing or just pleasure depending on the relationship I have with the woman. I have never felt love for a man.

Sorry, IMHO then you're not bi but just a slut, no offense, I've been a slut in the past and by slut I mean sleeping with people that a LTR is impossible with because of who our what they are.

I disagree.  First off, there's no harm or sin in being sexually attracted to someone without being romantically inserted.  The only sin would be dishonesty.

Second, it's not that abnormal to feel sexual attraction without feeling romantic attraction, or vice-versa.  And I've heard cases before today of people who frequently felt one without to another with an entire class of people.  It's apparently rather common among asexuals.

Third, if we do need another word besides "bisexual" to describe this, I think we can come up with something a little less pejorative than "slut."  Maybe, "asymmetrically bisexual" or "aromantically homosexual" or something?  I honestly don't know, but there's probably already a term anyway.

In any case, if anyone who ever desires to have sex with someone with whom they're not in love is a slut, most of the world is slutty.


While what you say has a lot of merit, it doesn't cover what I said."Having sex with someone you would never have a relationship with= =slut. Having sex with someone that you would never have a relationship with and taking money for it is whore

/Still not sure I get thw ==, =/= or whatever thing and I don't think like it..

from my preservative some people need to learn what they like and not bash peoeple that aren't into the same things.
 
2014-03-31 10:04:48 PM  

SquiggsIN: tinfoil-hat maggie: Shadowknight: Bottom line is that while I could be friends with someone like this without judgements, I admit that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable dating.

H eh, bottom line is if you want more kids don't date a 42 year old and yes I am. ( profile pic was taken at 40 I look about the same )

You're a pretty hot lady.  Age is just a number, right?  :D


Well, I still ain't never birthed no babies, but yea 42 is just a number ; ) Unless you read Douglas Adams, hehe : )
 
2014-03-31 10:09:17 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Shadowknight: Bottom line is that while I could be friends with someone like this without judgements, I admit that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable dating.

H eh, bottom line is if you want more kids don't date a 42 year old and yes I am. ( profile pic was taken at 40 I look about the same )


After my second daughter was born, I got the bullets taken out of the gun. Now I can have all the worry free sex with the wife I want, granted we aren't too tired from a day of work and, you know, having two daughters.

...

...we don't have much sex anymore. But what we do have is awesome.
 
2014-03-31 10:14:17 PM  

SquiggsIN: tinfoil-hat maggie: SquiggsIN: tinfoil-hat maggie: Shadowknight: Bottom line is that while I could be friends with someone like this without judgements, I admit that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable dating.

H eh, bottom line is if you want more kids don't date a 42 year old and yes I am. ( profile pic was taken at 40 I look about the same )

You're a pretty hot lady.  Age is just a number, right?  :D

Well, I still ain't never birthed no babies, but yea 42 is just a number ; ) Unless you read Douglas Adams, hehe : )

and i have!  Got the hardback on my office bookshelf.


I would be surprised if you didn't and yes I have the hardback somewhat maybe not complete version.
 
2014-03-31 10:20:13 PM  

Shadowknight: tinfoil-hat maggie: Shadowknight: Bottom line is that while I could be friends with someone like this without judgements, I admit that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable dating.

H eh, bottom line is if you want more kids don't date a 42 year old and yes I am. ( profile pic was taken at 40 I look about the same )

After my second daughter was born, I got the bullets taken out of the gun. Now I can have all the worry free sex with the wife I want, granted we aren't too tired from a day of work and, you know, having two daughters.

...

...we don't have much sex anymore. But what we do have is awesome.


Hey, that's relationships, the way I see it is you're partners through life helping each other, no one person can do everything. The sex while bonding at that point becomes secondary to the need of the day.
 
2014-03-31 10:24:46 PM  

SquiggsIN: I just feel like adding eye candy to the bottom of the thread.

[img.fark.net image 760x649]
[img.fark.net image 700x1155]

I hope there's something for everyone here.


That dud that play's Thor def reminds me I'm bi and I don't even like muscle men, an after going 12 to 14 years without a mamn that was TG well I have know idea.....
 
2014-03-31 10:28:09 PM  

SuperChuck: tinfoil-hat maggie: I'm single right now and I have no idea if my next relationship will be with a man, a woman or a gender fluid person

So you're saying there's a chance?


You, yea you always have till I get in a committed relationship but those end at times.
 
2014-03-31 10:33:32 PM  

ciberido: tinfoil-hat maggie: Profedius: I am bisexual in that I will have and have had sex with men, but it is not a love thing it is a pleasure thing. When I have sex with a woman it can be a love thing or just pleasure depending on the relationship I have with the woman. I have never felt love for a man.

Sorry, IMHO then you're not bi but just a slut, no offense, I've been a slut in the past and by slut I mean sleeping with people that a LTR is impossible with because of who our what they are.

I disagree.  First off, there's no harm or sin in being sexually attracted to someone without being romantically inserted.   The only sin would be dishonesty.

Second, it's not that abnormal to feel sexual attraction without feeling romantic attraction, or vice-versa.  And I've heard cases before today of people who frequently felt one without to another with an entire class of people.  It's apparently rather common among asexuals.

Third, if we do need another word besides "bisexual" to describe this, I think we can come up with something a little less pejorative than "slut."  Maybe, "asymmetrically bisexual" or "aromantically homosexual" or something?  I honestly don't know, but there's probably already a term anyway.

In any case, if anyone who ever desires to have sex with someone with whom they're not in love is a slut, most of the world is slutty.


Maybe and I'm sure I did say it badly but yes I prefer your def. but doing that will still get you called a whore/slt by the people you won't sleep with. I've been there so can't say it doesn't happen.
 
2014-03-31 10:40:31 PM  

SquiggsIN: ciberido: tinfoil-hat maggie: Profedius: I am bisexual in that I will have and have had sex with men, but it is not a love thing it is a pleasure thing. When I have sex with a woman it can be a love thing or just pleasure depending on the relationship I have with the woman. I have never felt love for a man.

Sorry, IMHO then you're not bi but just a slut, no offense, I've been a slut in the past and by slut I mean sleeping with people that a LTR is impossible with because of who our what they are.

I disagree.  First off, there's no harm or sin in being sexually attracted to someone without being romantically inserted.  The only sin would be dishonesty.

Second, it's not that abnormal to feel sexual attraction without feeling romantic attraction, or vice-versa.  And I've heard cases before today of people who frequently felt one without to another with an entire class of people.  It's apparently rather common among asexuals.

Third, if we do need another word besides "bisexual" to describe this, I think we can come up with something a little less pejorative than "slut."  Maybe, "asymmetrically bisexual" or "aromantically homosexual" or something?  I honestly don't know, but there's probably already a term anyway.

In any case, if anyone who ever desires to have sex with someone with whom they're not in love is a slut, most of the world is slutty.

Along the same line... there are plenty of times when my girlfriend and I aren't making love, we are farking.


Oh I',m not talking about making lurve VS something else I mean a person that farks everybody the are sorta attracted to and yea it does happen, hell I did it , if I had of taken money I would've been a whore, never did, had a few types try and talk me into that, but no....
 
2014-03-31 10:47:15 PM  
Why would any man be turned off by a bisexual woman or say they don't exist? Don't 99% of men dream of a threesome? Good luck getting  your 100% straight wife to eat a boxed lunch.

I always thought I was 95% straight until I slept with a woman. It turns out I'm more like 70% straight (since I don't actively seek out females I don't consider myself 50-50). It's a spectrum, people, and more so for women.

I'm a married woman and to the benefit of both me and my husband, I can bring a girl home any time I want.
 
2014-03-31 10:48:00 PM  

SquiggsIN: tinfoil-hat maggie: SquiggsIN: I just feel like adding eye candy to the bottom of the thread.

[img.fark.net image 760x649]
[img.fark.net image 700x1155]

I hope there's something for everyone here.

That dud that play's Thor def reminds me I'm bi and I don't even like muscle men, an after going 12 to 14 years without a mamn that was TG well I have know idea.....

Those types of guys do very little for me but Thor is.... (in the words of Jane Foster) Oh. My. God.


Most muscle bond guys I have little interest in but seeing him onscreen and I guess with that character oh hell yeah I would.

/ It's difficult to fugue the actors/actresses out past basic attraction for me.
 
2014-03-31 11:02:07 PM  

SquiggsIN: tinfoil-hat maggie: Oh I',m not talking about making lurve VS something else I mean a person that farks everybody the are sorta attracted to and yea it does happen, hell I did it , if I had of taken money I would've been a whore, never did, had a few types try and talk me into that, but no....

Well, even a first date is a down payment on a sexual relationship, right?
Dating = prostitution in installments / "lay-away" ??


Does the first date include sex? I don't know how things went with you but I was a slut, let's face it traditional dating for me wasn't really open back in the day, so...

Well early on most o fmy hookups came from the 1 or 2 gay bars open. I was a slut back then because yea, I'd slept with a person if they came home with me or I went home with them.Sure I was crazy insecure and my self esteem was in the toilet but things got better.

/Just glad I never became a whore by taking money for sex.

//It wasn't always easy.
 
2014-03-31 11:04:48 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: when someone dumps a post-op transsexual that they had been very into till they found out ether it wasn't much of an attraction or is is ignorance and bigotry, sorry. Just my two cents, and unless someone came honestly say they'd drop an infertile cis girl, then sorry no you can't use that.


Yes, they can. I made a post earlier saying as much and you already agreed with me. People can choose to date/not date anyone for any reason under the sun. It doesn't have to make sense to you or anyone. It doesn't even have to make sense to themselves. If that's their preference they can absolutely use it.

tinfoil-hat maggie: Sorry, IMHO then you're not bi but just a slut, no offense


FTA: Robyn Ochs' definition: "I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted -- romantically and/or sexually -- to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree."

I like her definition better.

/except the part about 'not necessarily at the same time'
//seriously lady that's the whole point imo
///at the exact same time
 
2014-03-31 11:22:50 PM  

Fafai: I like her definition better.


I like it as well and really I was wrong with the no true Scotsmen thing but one can be bi and a slut and bi, straight or gay.
 
2014-03-31 11:28:09 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: SquiggsIN: tinfoil-hat maggie: SquiggsIN: I just feel like adding eye candy to the bottom of the thread.

[img.fark.net image 760x649]
[img.fark.net image 700x1155]

I hope there's something for everyone here.

That dud that play's Thor def reminds me I'm bi and I don't even like muscle men, an after going 12 to 14 years without a mamn that was TG well I have know idea.....

Those types of guys do very little for me but Thor is.... (in the words of Jane Foster) Oh. My. God.

Most muscle bond guys I have little interest in but seeing him onscreen and I guess with that character oh hell yeah I would.


Does he need CPR?  'Cause I TOTALLY know CPR.
 
2014-03-31 11:35:45 PM  

ciberido: tinfoil-hat maggie: SquiggsIN: tinfoil-hat maggie: SquiggsIN: I just feel like adding eye candy to the bottom of the thread.

[img.fark.net image 760x649]
[img.fark.net image 700x1155]

I hope there's something for everyone here.

That dud that play's Thor def reminds me I'm bi and I don't even like muscle men, an after going 12 to 14 years without a mamn that was TG well I have know idea.....

Those types of guys do very little for me but Thor is.... (in the words of Jane Foster) Oh. My. God.

Most muscle bond guys I have little interest in but seeing him onscreen and I guess with that character oh hell yeah I would.

Does he need CPR?  'Cause I TOTALLY know CPR.


I completely understand and here I am haven't even been with a man since 2002, but yeah I find certain ones attractive.
 
2014-03-31 11:47:58 PM  

Fafai: Yes, they can. I made a post earlier saying as much and you already agreed with me. People can choose to date/not date anyone for any reason under the sun. It doesn't have to make sense to you or anyone. It doesn't even have to make sense to themselves. If that's their preference they can absolutely use it.


True, I did but that doesn't stop the way I would fell about them and what they were but yea I don't have the right to date anyone. Although if they had been really interested then found out well , lol.
 
2014-04-01 04:53:24 AM  

doubled99: As long as they're good looking, most will eventually settle down with a man.


www.lolwtfcomics.com

/obligatory
 
2014-04-01 08:20:32 AM  

ciberido: Being bisexual isn't the best of both worlds. If anything, it's the worst of both worlds. We get it from both ends. Homophones hate us as much or more than they do "mono" gays, but we're "not gay enough" or "in denial" or "have straight privilege" in the minds of the rest of the lbgtq community.

That said, if you offered me a magic pill which would make me non bisexual, I don't know that I'd take it.


I couldn't agree more with this.

I've been snubbed by both sides of a citys social scene for pretty much this reason.

It's pretty much the reason I'm not interested in monogamous labeling to any relationship I'm in, as I've been socially spurned for having boyfriends and girlfriends. Now I just have friends, and consensually fark whoever fancies a shag at the same time I do. The chick I live with started doing this, after me telling her that I was bored of labels, and thanks me for opening her life up, as she'd never considered being Poly previously, and finds it much to her liking.

/yes, i fark her on occasion.
//love her, too.
 
2014-04-01 11:45:16 AM  

SquiggsIN: To me polyamory means what the words roots mean. poly = many, amor = love.


apt46.net
 
2014-04-01 04:27:27 PM  

RobSeace: SquiggsIN: To me polyamory means what the words roots mean. poly = many, amor = love.

[apt46.net image 318x253]


static.thepioneerwoman.com
 
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