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(Gap Year)   Man allows hyena to eat his genitals   (gapyear.com) divider line 22
    More: Weird, eastern province, witch doctors, genitals, Malawi, Zulu  
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6865 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2014 at 10:01 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-31 09:13:31 AM
6 votes:
I was attacked by cougars when I was younger in much the same way.
2014-03-31 10:16:24 AM
5 votes:

Deacon Blue: cgraves67: You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.

If you pull a testicle out as opposed to cutting it off, there is a string-like thing that pulls out of the unfortunate's body.  I'm seeing the hyena grasping the testicle in its teeth and slowly stretch that cord out until it snaps.

/don't ask me how I know about such things


Please be more specific. It will make a vas deferens.
2014-03-31 10:07:25 AM
5 votes:
This is what happens when you let the hyena industry market directly to the doctors. Then doctors have an interest in prescribing hyenas eating your balls.

//ask your doctor if hyena bite is right for you.
2014-03-31 09:51:52 AM
5 votes:
Your dog wants tube steak.
2014-03-31 10:26:41 AM
3 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

youdontsay.jpg


A wealth of entertainment for the internet community is a  kind of wealth?
2014-03-31 10:13:47 AM
3 votes:
Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

youdontsay.jpg

It's the result of these diploma mill witch doctors. Nowadays, a couple of months in a hut and some internet bought juju and 'poof' you're a witch doctor. It is events like this where I always get a second witch doctor's opinion. Had one from an old HMO (Healthy Magic Organization) tell me if I let a scorpion sting me, I would gain the stamina of a bull. Well, I went to a second, out of network, witch doctor and he told me it would take at least two stings. I sure would have looked stupid with one scorpion sting trying to please the missus. But two stings did the trick. At least they told me they did since I don't remember anything for a couple of days following the treatment. But both stings were covered, so that was a good thing.
2014-03-31 10:35:30 AM
2 votes:
Worst blow job ever....

Protip to the next witch doctor's patient seeking wealth by hyena bite, turn around and let them eat a butt cheek first - or run away...
2014-03-31 10:21:18 AM
2 votes:
gapyear.s3.amazonaws.com
Balls.....

and/or

You know, I usually enjoy partaking in a food frenzy over a fallen antelope but gnawing off a human's testicles is a close second. The only problem is, you get the taste and you want more. Maybe bite in to the thigh or grab a flailing limb and crush the bones. But the human is always "No. no. Mr. Hyena. You only get to eat the testicles." One of these days, I'm gonna tell him "You offered up your testes and that's all fine. You want me to stop there? No. You're lunch now and lunch is what you shall be." No more mister nice hyena.  Then, I'm going to crush his windpipe and enjoy my meal in silence.
2014-03-31 10:08:07 AM
2 votes:
www.dailyramblings.com
Classic
2014-03-31 09:16:55 AM
2 votes:
A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

Ooo!  Eee!  Ooo!  Ahhhh Ahhhh!
2014-03-31 06:46:47 PM
1 votes:

sandi_fish: How did he get the hyena to stop?  They're pretty mean.


Maybe it was just full. We don't know how hung he was.
2014-03-31 12:31:19 PM
1 votes:
weknowmemes.com
2014-03-31 11:32:03 AM
1 votes:
DEAR HYENA:

i.imgur.com
2014-03-31 11:28:57 AM
1 votes:
Am I the first?

heahea.org
static.fjcdn.com

You takes your pick and you makes your choice
2014-03-31 11:00:54 AM
1 votes:
Bunny, Ball ball!

img.fark.net
2014-03-31 10:30:26 AM
1 votes:
Tastes like chicken.

/dark meat
2014-03-31 10:14:10 AM
1 votes:
In related news...Diogenes' aunt and uncle want to know if I'd like to join them on an African safari trip (absolutely truth).

I'm hesitating because of the cost.  I think I have a solution to that problem now!
2014-03-31 10:11:27 AM
1 votes:
He was acting on a tip-off.
2014-03-31 10:09:09 AM
1 votes:

AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?


It had a little tossed salad first.
2014-03-31 10:07:17 AM
1 votes:

Diogenes: A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

Ooo!  Eee!  Ooo!  Ahhhh Ahhhh!


Ting! Tang!  Walla Walla Bing Bang!
2014-03-31 10:03:33 AM
1 votes:
That's prime Darwin Award material, right here.
2014-03-31 09:08:29 AM
1 votes:
Was the hyena laughing?
That would be rude.
 
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