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(Gap Year)   Man allows hyena to eat his genitals   (gapyear.com) divider line 16
    More: Weird, eastern province, witch doctors, genitals, Malawi, Zulu  
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6889 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2014 at 10:01 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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2014-03-31 10:08:07 AM  
3 votes:
www.dailyramblings.com
Classic
2014-03-31 10:07:25 AM  
3 votes:
This is what happens when you let the hyena industry market directly to the doctors. Then doctors have an interest in prescribing hyenas eating your balls.

//ask your doctor if hyena bite is right for you.
2014-03-31 10:03:33 AM  
3 votes:
That's prime Darwin Award material, right here.
2014-03-31 03:00:06 PM  
1 votes:

capt.hollister: Salmon: He looks happier than I think I would.

He believes wealth will now come to him whereas you wouldn't.

I wonder what the witch doctor's excuse will be...


I could almost write a short story about it.

He's released from the hospital, enthusiastic that he is going to achieve wealth. But as days turn to months turn to years he becomes bitter and resentful and realizes that religion is a sham which plays upon the gullible. So he starts to crusade against religion and superstition. His voice becomes louder and people flock to him and his society of skeptics.

Now he is the chairman of a worldwide organization which gathers money to send missionaries into the farthest regions of the world to bring enlightenment and reason and free the people of the dark savagery of superstition and religion. He is asked to speak everywhere, travelling the world, staying in the best hotels.

In his twilight years he no longer has the energy to run the organization so he turns it over to his adopted son and retires. He emigrates to a nice condo in Manhattan near the headquarters of his organization so that he can still be close when they need him.

Then at last he is on his deathbed and as he reflects upon a life well spent, riding the world of ignorance he looks up to see the witch doctor standing at the foot of his bed with a smile. The witch doctor says to him "told you".
2014-03-31 11:24:27 AM  
1 votes:
Survey says: It's a FAAAAAKE!!!

At least that's what I'll continue believing until a reputable news agency confirms this.
2014-03-31 10:49:45 AM  
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: Can someone sponsor him on one of those internet loan websites?  Be kind of funny if he did actually start getting cash.


Could it be considered a charitable donation if its construed as a means to stop the spread of AIDS, if enough others join in?  Probably cheaper and more effective than current efforts...
2014-03-31 10:31:36 AM  
1 votes:
Hey! There's a follow up article already!

Seems like a Nigerian Prince has just died and left him 13 million dollars!
2014-03-31 10:26:41 AM  
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

youdontsay.jpg


A wealth of entertainment for the internet community is a  kind of wealth?
2014-03-31 10:21:18 AM  
1 votes:
gapyear.s3.amazonaws.com
Balls.....

and/or

You know, I usually enjoy partaking in a food frenzy over a fallen antelope but gnawing off a human's testicles is a close second. The only problem is, you get the taste and you want more. Maybe bite in to the thigh or grab a flailing limb and crush the bones. But the human is always "No. no. Mr. Hyena. You only get to eat the testicles." One of these days, I'm gonna tell him "You offered up your testes and that's all fine. You want me to stop there? No. You're lunch now and lunch is what you shall be." No more mister nice hyena.  Then, I'm going to crush his windpipe and enjoy my meal in silence.
2014-03-31 10:16:24 AM  
1 votes:

Deacon Blue: cgraves67: You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.

If you pull a testicle out as opposed to cutting it off, there is a string-like thing that pulls out of the unfortunate's body.  I'm seeing the hyena grasping the testicle in its teeth and slowly stretch that cord out until it snaps.

/don't ask me how I know about such things


Please be more specific. It will make a vas deferens.
2014-03-31 10:13:47 AM  
1 votes:
Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

youdontsay.jpg

It's the result of these diploma mill witch doctors. Nowadays, a couple of months in a hut and some internet bought juju and 'poof' you're a witch doctor. It is events like this where I always get a second witch doctor's opinion. Had one from an old HMO (Healthy Magic Organization) tell me if I let a scorpion sting me, I would gain the stamina of a bull. Well, I went to a second, out of network, witch doctor and he told me it would take at least two stings. I sure would have looked stupid with one scorpion sting trying to please the missus. But two stings did the trick. At least they told me they did since I don't remember anything for a couple of days following the treatment. But both stings were covered, so that was a good thing.
2014-03-31 10:11:57 AM  
1 votes:
bullshiat story is bullshiat.
2014-03-31 10:09:09 AM  
1 votes:

AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?


It had a little tossed salad first.
2014-03-31 10:07:17 AM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

Ooo!  Eee!  Ooo!  Ahhhh Ahhhh!


Ting! Tang!  Walla Walla Bing Bang!
2014-03-31 09:16:55 AM  
1 votes:
A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

Ooo!  Eee!  Ooo!  Ahhhh Ahhhh!
2014-03-31 09:13:31 AM  
1 votes:
I was attacked by cougars when I was younger in much the same way.
 
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