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(Gap Year)   Man allows hyena to eat his genitals   (gapyear.com) divider line 117
    More: Weird, eastern province, witch doctors, genitals, Malawi, Zulu  
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6877 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2014 at 10:01 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-31 09:08:29 AM  
Was the hyena laughing?
That would be rude.
 
2014-03-31 09:13:31 AM  
I was attacked by cougars when I was younger in much the same way.
 
2014-03-31 09:16:55 AM  
A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

Ooo!  Eee!  Ooo!  Ahhhh Ahhhh!
 
2014-03-31 09:29:43 AM  
Well, has the wealth started rolling in yet?
 
2014-03-31 09:51:52 AM  
Your dog wants tube steak.
 
2014-03-31 10:03:33 AM  
That's prime Darwin Award material, right here.
 
2014-03-31 10:03:34 AM  
No laughing matter.
 
2014-03-31 10:03:51 AM  
That takes balls.

By 'that', I mean the hyena...

'cause he took the balls...
 
2014-03-31 10:04:57 AM  
Maybe the hyena wasn't very hungry.
 
2014-03-31 10:07:03 AM  
Darwin, working as intended
 
2014-03-31 10:07:17 AM  

Diogenes: A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.

Ooo!  Eee!  Ooo!  Ahhhh Ahhhh!


Ting! Tang!  Walla Walla Bing Bang!
 
2014-03-31 10:07:25 AM  
This is what happens when you let the hyena industry market directly to the doctors. Then doctors have an interest in prescribing hyenas eating your balls.

//ask your doctor if hyena bite is right for you.
 
2014-03-31 10:07:45 AM  
WTF Africa.
 
2014-03-31 10:07:49 AM  
I bet they tasted funny.
 
2014-03-31 10:08:07 AM  
So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?
 
2014-03-31 10:08:07 AM  
www.dailyramblings.com
Classic
 
2014-03-31 10:08:12 AM  

kid_icarus: Well, has the wealth started rolling in yet?


I was going to make a joke about taking the advice of witch doctors, but then I remembered half of my family still gives ten percent of their money to the Mormon church, because Jesus will totally bless them, and give them way more back in return, both spiritually and physically, in blessings for doing so.  I would like to think none of them would sacrifice a body part if their church told them God would give them a new bonus room on their invisible mansion in heaven, but I am not so sure.
 
2014-03-31 10:08:39 AM  
The hyena sounds like the way my stock broker works (and I'm still not rich).
 
2014-03-31 10:08:43 AM  
They make it sound like it was slow or something.

Toes a tackle? Ten seconds flat.
 
2014-03-31 10:08:48 AM  
FTFA:  While it's tragic indeed that Zulu has lost his opportunity to contribute to the human gene pool...

No it's not.  It's not tragic at all.  The gene pool breaths a sigh of relief.
 
2014-03-31 10:08:59 AM  
How did the guy know when the hyena was done? Hey hey hey, you still have half-a-ball left, two more bites or no dessert!
 
2014-03-31 10:09:09 AM  

AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?


It had a little tossed salad first.
 
2014-03-31 10:10:22 AM  

AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?


You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.
 
2014-03-31 10:11:15 AM  

Some Coke Drinking Guy: kid_icarus: Well, has the wealth started rolling in yet?

I was going to make a joke about taking the advice of witch doctors, but then I remembered half of my family still gives ten percent of their money to the Mormon church, because Jesus will totally bless them, and give them way more back in return, both spiritually and physically, in blessings for doing so.  I would like to think none of them would sacrifice a body part if their church told them God would give them a new bonus room on their invisible mansion in heaven, but I am not so sure.


Letting an animal chew your balls off is just a tad more extreme than tithing.
 
2014-03-31 10:11:27 AM  
He was acting on a tip-off.
 
2014-03-31 10:11:45 AM  

cgraves67: AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?

You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.


You get a few tugs first before it tears right?
 
2014-03-31 10:11:56 AM  

Deacon Blue: Some Coke Drinking Guy: kid_icarus: Well, has the wealth started rolling in yet?

I was going to make a joke about taking the advice of witch doctors, but then I remembered half of my family still gives ten percent of their money to the Mormon church, because Jesus will totally bless them, and give them way more back in return, both spiritually and physically, in blessings for doing so.  I would like to think none of them would sacrifice a body part if their church told them God would give them a new bonus room on their invisible mansion in heaven, but I am not so sure.

Letting an animal chew your balls off is just a tad more extreme than tithing.


If you really want favor from the powers that be, you have to show some commitment.
 
2014-03-31 10:11:57 AM  
bullshiat story is bullshiat.
 
2014-03-31 10:13:03 AM  
Is this a story of my trip to the bar Friday night?
 
2014-03-31 10:13:47 AM  
Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

youdontsay.jpg

It's the result of these diploma mill witch doctors. Nowadays, a couple of months in a hut and some internet bought juju and 'poof' you're a witch doctor. It is events like this where I always get a second witch doctor's opinion. Had one from an old HMO (Healthy Magic Organization) tell me if I let a scorpion sting me, I would gain the stamina of a bull. Well, I went to a second, out of network, witch doctor and he told me it would take at least two stings. I sure would have looked stupid with one scorpion sting trying to please the missus. But two stings did the trick. At least they told me they did since I don't remember anything for a couple of days following the treatment. But both stings were covered, so that was a good thing.
 
2014-03-31 10:14:10 AM  
In related news...Diogenes' aunt and uncle want to know if I'd like to join them on an African safari trip (absolutely truth).

I'm hesitating because of the cost.  I think I have a solution to that problem now!
 
2014-03-31 10:14:13 AM  

cgraves67: You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.


If you pull a testicle out as opposed to cutting it off, there is a string-like thing that pulls out of the unfortunate's body.  I'm seeing the hyena grasping the testicle in its teeth and slowly stretch that cord out until it snaps.

/don't ask me how I know about such things
 
2014-03-31 10:15:51 AM  

Diogenes: If you really want favor from the powers that be, you have to show some commitment.


LOL, if that's the case dude ought to get half the Lord's kingdom
 
2014-03-31 10:16:24 AM  

Deacon Blue: cgraves67: You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.

If you pull a testicle out as opposed to cutting it off, there is a string-like thing that pulls out of the unfortunate's body.  I'm seeing the hyena grasping the testicle in its teeth and slowly stretch that cord out until it snaps.

/don't ask me how I know about such things


Please be more specific. It will make a vas deferens.
 
2014-03-31 10:16:30 AM  
t1.gstatic.com

He will receive a wealth of dope slaps in the coming years
 
2014-03-31 10:16:37 AM  
you got this and some guy banging coconuts to find a plane

and they want to be treated seriously ???
 
2014-03-31 10:16:48 AM  

Deacon Blue: FTFA:  While it's tragic indeed that Zulu has lost his opportunity to contribute to the human gene pool...

No it's not.  It's not tragic at all.  The gene pool breaths a sigh of relief.


Sarcasm meter out of battery ?
 
2014-03-31 10:16:49 AM  

AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?


It's a hyena. They can bite THROUGH a man. Not any particular part, but all the parts at once. There's a video of some eating a whole elephant. They just tear thought it like tissue paper.
 
2014-03-31 10:17:34 AM  
I get the impression the witch doctor was just trying to broker a black market kidney sale.
 
2014-03-31 10:19:34 AM  

wxboy: I bet they tasted funny.


Did he work as a clown on the side?
 
2014-03-31 10:20:17 AM  

doglover: AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?

It's a hyena. They can bite THROUGH a man. Not any particular part, but all the parts at once. There's a video of some eating a whole elephant. They just tear thought it like tissue paper.


The hyena went ass to mouth.
 
2014-03-31 10:20:22 AM  
I want the real story.
 
2014-03-31 10:20:55 AM  
??? I hope this is not real. I think this guy has mental problems.
 
2014-03-31 10:21:07 AM  

doglover: AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?

It's a hyena. They can bite THROUGH a man. Not any particular part, but all the parts at once. There's a video of some eating a whole elephant. They just tear thought it like tissue paper.


*Puts dick back in pants* Off to the gorilla exhibit.
 
2014-03-31 10:21:18 AM  
gapyear.s3.amazonaws.com
Balls.....

and/or

You know, I usually enjoy partaking in a food frenzy over a fallen antelope but gnawing off a human's testicles is a close second. The only problem is, you get the taste and you want more. Maybe bite in to the thigh or grab a flailing limb and crush the bones. But the human is always "No. no. Mr. Hyena. You only get to eat the testicles." One of these days, I'm gonna tell him "You offered up your testes and that's all fine. You want me to stop there? No. You're lunch now and lunch is what you shall be." No more mister nice hyena.  Then, I'm going to crush his windpipe and enjoy my meal in silence.
 
2014-03-31 10:21:47 AM  
I'm thinking, given sufficient time to mull things over, Chamangeni will probably regret his decision not to get a second opinion.

/Whar is Thanks Obama?  WHAR?
 
2014-03-31 10:22:25 AM  

farkette716: ??? I hope this is not real. I think this guy has mental problems.


Ya think?!?!
 
2014-03-31 10:22:28 AM  

Diogenes: In related news...Diogenes' aunt and uncle want to know if I'd like to join them on an African safari trip (absolutely truth).

I'm hesitating because of the cost.  I think I have a solution to that problem now!


If ANYONE asks you to join them on a trip to Africa, the appropriate answer is to:
c) Slam the door in their face or hang up on them immediately.

/Sure it's a beautiful land. But the chance of violent death/dismemberment/disease keeps me in the "Do Not Want" camp.
 
2014-03-31 10:22:43 AM  
Can someone sponsor him on one of those internet loan websites?  Be kind of funny if he did actually start getting cash.
 
2014-03-31 10:23:50 AM  
Fta:
"While it's tragic indeed that Zulu has lost his opportunity to contribute to the human gene pool, he remains optimistic about his promised wealth."

no.
 
2014-03-31 10:25:05 AM  

sethen320: I get the impression the witch doctor was just trying to broker a black market kidney sale.


And the sad thing is, these "witch doctors" get away with this shiat, because everyone is scared that the f*cker will turn them into a turnip or some such nonsense.
 
2014-03-31 10:26:41 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

youdontsay.jpg


A wealth of entertainment for the internet community is a  kind of wealth?
 
2014-03-31 10:27:14 AM  

lilbjorn: [t1.gstatic.com image 195x258]

He will receive a wealth of dope slaps in the coming years


FTFA: Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor

Personally I think the best Darwin award winners are the ones who live but still manage to remove themselves from the gene pool.
 
2014-03-31 10:28:57 AM  

cgraves67: vas deferens.


Stop it.  You people are killing me.  LOL
 
2014-03-31 10:30:26 AM  
Tastes like chicken.

/dark meat
 
2014-03-31 10:31:28 AM  

Slartibartfaster: Sarcasm meter out of battery ?


Just a bit out of whack.  I'm up to speed now.
 
2014-03-31 10:31:36 AM  
Hey! There's a follow up article already!

Seems like a Nigerian Prince has just died and left him 13 million dollars!
 
2014-03-31 10:34:27 AM  

doglover: AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?

It's a hyena. They can bite THROUGH a man. Not any particular part, but all the parts at once. There's a video of some eating a whole elephant. They just tear thought it like tissue paper.


That's crazy.  The interwebs says the only thing they can't digest is hoofs and horns which they barf up in pellets.  They just chomp down the whole damn carcass.  I guess the guy is "lucky" it only chomped his balls, depending on your definition of lucky.
 
2014-03-31 10:35:30 AM  
Worst blow job ever....

Protip to the next witch doctor's patient seeking wealth by hyena bite, turn around and let them eat a butt cheek first - or run away...
 
2014-03-31 10:38:11 AM  
Matthew 19:12

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
 
2014-03-31 10:39:52 AM  
Witch Doctor: 'yes, just let me, I MEAN THE HYENA eat you and you will be rich aoooooo! excuse me."
 
2014-03-31 10:39:59 AM  

FarkQued: Worst blow job ever....

Protip to the next witch doctor's patient seeking wealth by hyena bite, turn around and let them eat a butt cheek first - or run away...


I said stop it.  I'm going to bust a gut laughing.  For some reason, this thread is extremely funny to me.
 
2014-03-31 10:41:48 AM  
That's what you get if you believe in witch doctors.
 
2014-03-31 10:44:31 AM  
disseminary.org
 
2014-03-31 10:48:18 AM  
There is no amount of money, real or imagined, that would get me to give up my genitalia.

I mean what would be the point of being rich?
 
2014-03-31 10:49:45 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Can someone sponsor him on one of those internet loan websites?  Be kind of funny if he did actually start getting cash.


Could it be considered a charitable donation if its construed as a means to stop the spread of AIDS, if enough others join in?  Probably cheaper and more effective than current efforts...
 
2014-03-31 10:51:31 AM  
If we send this guy money, others will try this.
 
2014-03-31 10:52:53 AM  
hmmm...eerily similar to a lot of the stories in this (highly recommended) book:

http://www.amazon.com/Hyena-A-Collection-Short-Stories/dp/1494305305

only without the rampant drug use and sex.
 
2014-03-31 10:54:33 AM  
This has got to be the strangest thing I've read in a looonnngg time. I mean, seriously, WTF? And the picture of the guy. He's freakin smiling! And how the fark do you manage to just stand there while a freakin hyena is eating your toes and then genitalia? Seriously, wtf?
 
2014-03-31 10:56:22 AM  
That look on his face made me laugh till I cried for some reason.

/your hyena wants balls
 
2014-03-31 10:56:33 AM  

dinch: This has got to be the strangest thing I've read in a looonnngg time. I mean, seriously, WTF? And the picture of the guy. He's freakin smiling! And how the fark do you manage to just stand there while a freakin hyena is eating your toes and then genitalia? Seriously, wtf?


He was either high or borderline retarded.  Or both.
 
2014-03-31 11:00:54 AM  
Bunny, Ball ball!

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-31 11:01:31 AM  

Some Coke Drinking Guy: kid_icarus: Well, has the wealth started rolling in yet?

I was going to make a joke about taking the advice of witch doctors, but then I remembered half of my family still gives ten percent of their money to the Mormon church, because Jesus will totally bless them, and give them way more back in return, both spiritually and physically, in blessings for doing so.  I would like to think none of them would sacrifice a body part if their church told them God would give them a new bonus room on their invisible mansion in heaven, but I am not so sure.


At least somebody here realizes that we're not that far removed. Access to education, quality of life, etc etc. "WTF Africa" comments are particularly stupid.
 
2014-03-31 11:10:02 AM  
That article gave me an earworm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv040mhybqQ

Naked Raygun - Libido
 
2014-03-31 11:13:46 AM  
Is this one of those stories where the guy puts peanut butter on his junk for a lickin', but, things got out of control?  Or maybe he read the story about the guy farking the dead dog in Florida, and thought a live hyena would be even sexier.  So many questions concerning this incident.  But, one thing is for sure, Africa - The Continent of Nope.
 
2014-03-31 11:16:48 AM  
A thriving and sophisticated culture.
 
2014-03-31 11:20:29 AM  
He looks happier than I think I would.
 
2014-03-31 11:20:31 AM  
In related news...Diogenes' aunt and uncle want to know if I'd like to join them on an African safari trip (absolutely truth).

I'm hesitating because of the cost.  I think I have a solution to that problem now!



You refer to yourself in the third person?
 
2014-03-31 11:24:27 AM  
Survey says: It's a FAAAAAKE!!!

At least that's what I'll continue believing until a reputable news agency confirms this.
 
2014-03-31 11:28:57 AM  
Am I the first?

heahea.org
static.fjcdn.com

You takes your pick and you makes your choice
 
2014-03-31 11:31:51 AM  

AbiNormal: doglover: AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?

It's a hyena. They can bite THROUGH a man. Not any particular part, but all the parts at once. There's a video of some eating a whole elephant. They just tear thought it like tissue paper.

*Puts dick back in pants* Off to the gorilla exhibit.


Female hyenas have a clitoris that is sometimes LARGER than the male's penis. FYI.

Gorillas have massive size in body, but actually comparatively smaller genitals to humans. So they might be interested but they're also herbivores. They won't eat your dick, just break you in half and toss you in the corner with the other garbage. No money for you.

Where you want to go is the garra rufa tank. They're small fish that eat dead skin cells. They have no teeth, and will just kind of sand your epidermis with their tongues. They're called "Dr. Fish" in some places and used as a kind of foot spa.
 
2014-03-31 11:32:03 AM  
DEAR HYENA:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-31 11:34:13 AM  

Diogenes: In related news...Diogenes' aunt and uncle want to know if I'd like to join them on an African safari trip (absolutely truth).

I'm hesitating because of the cost.  I think I have a solution to that problem now!



ive been. it's ace. whereabouts? we went to kenya
 
2014-03-31 11:34:15 AM  
as someone who shaved their balls this weekend I am getting a kick out of this story
 
2014-03-31 11:36:24 AM  

Osato: That's prime Darwin Award material, right here.


It also lends creedance to the Out of Africa theory, in which a man's genitals went out of Africa in the form of a hyena's floating turd.
 
2014-03-31 11:39:34 AM  

Lady J: Diogenes: In related news...Diogenes' aunt and uncle want to know if I'd like to join them on an African safari trip (absolutely truth).

I'm hesitating because of the cost.  I think I have a solution to that problem now!


ive been. it's ace. whereabouts? we went to kenya


Not sure yet.  Waiting for details from them.
 
2014-03-31 11:48:55 AM  
Chopper, SIC BALLS!
 
2014-03-31 11:50:20 AM  

Valiente: Osato: That's prime Darwin Award material, right here.

It also lends creedance to the Out of Africa theory, in which a man's genitals went out of Africa in the form of a hyena's floating turd.


Farking stop it you guys.  If I laugh any more I'm gonna puke.
 
2014-03-31 11:50:39 AM  
www.weasyl.com
 
2014-03-31 11:50:46 AM  

shirtsbyeric: If we send this guy money, others will try this.


That's what youtube is for.
 
2014-03-31 11:53:47 AM  
Maybe the Dingo ate his baby-maker?
 
2014-03-31 11:57:50 AM  

Diogenes: Lady J: Diogenes: In related news...Diogenes' aunt and uncle want to know if I'd like to join them on an African safari trip (absolutely truth).

I'm hesitating because of the cost.  I think I have a solution to that problem now!


ive been. it's ace. whereabouts? we went to kenya

Not sure yet.  Waiting for details from them.


I hear Uganda is lovely. They're even offering Idi Amin tours now!
 
2014-03-31 11:58:27 AM  
of course what we heard was "Chopper, sic balls".
 
2014-03-31 11:58:46 AM  

SmackLT: I was attacked by cougars when I was younger in much the same way.


" .. Memories .."
 
2014-03-31 12:02:29 PM  

cgraves67: AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?

You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.


Is it still considered appropriate to playfully growl back at the animal while this is going on?
 
2014-03-31 12:09:28 PM  
Still a better love story than Twilight.
 
2014-03-31 12:13:46 PM  
That's Shaka-ing news.
 
2014-03-31 12:19:26 PM  
It wasn't his fault - that was the only witch doctor in town that accepted his HMO.
 
2014-03-31 12:22:08 PM  
Wait till he finds out he can't sue a witchdoctor for malpractice.
 
2014-03-31 12:28:56 PM  
"stable?"  No one that just lets an animal chew his toes and junk off is stable.
 
2014-03-31 12:31:19 PM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2014-03-31 12:40:47 PM  

Salmon: He looks happier than I think I would.


He believes wealth will now come to him whereas you wouldn't.

I wonder what the witch doctor's excuse will be...
 
2014-03-31 12:57:08 PM  
But enough about Subby's mom...
 
2014-03-31 01:08:08 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.

youdontsay.jpg

It's the result of these diploma mill witch doctors. Nowadays, a couple of months in a hut and some internet bought juju and 'poof' you're a witch doctor. It is events like this where I always get a second witch doctor's opinion. Had one from an old HMO (Healthy Magic Organization) tell me if I let a scorpion sting me, I would gain the stamina of a bull. Well, I went to a second, out of network, witch doctor and he told me it would take at least two stings. I sure would have looked stupid with one scorpion sting trying to please the missus. But two stings did the trick. At least they told me they did since I don't remember anything for a couple of days following the treatment. But both stings were covered, so that was a good thing.


Bravo
 
2014-03-31 01:21:04 PM  

JesusJuice: A thriving and sophisticated culture.


They call theirs "witch doctors", we call ours "psychics", "homeopaths", "food supplements", "organic farmers", "preachers", "natural healers", etc...

And each is convinced that their own particular belief is legitimate and that everyone else's is silly.
 
2014-03-31 01:33:30 PM  

falseidols: Classic


Reminds me of tbe old Eddie Murphy 'gay Mr. T' sketch.

Boy, you look mighty fine in those jeans!
 
2014-03-31 01:36:43 PM  
Darwin Award? Yeah that qualifies.
 
2014-03-31 02:08:23 PM  
media.tumblr.com
/i know i'm late
/is not obscure
/also not hyena
/slashie of unconcern
 
2014-03-31 03:00:06 PM  

capt.hollister: Salmon: He looks happier than I think I would.

He believes wealth will now come to him whereas you wouldn't.

I wonder what the witch doctor's excuse will be...


I could almost write a short story about it.

He's released from the hospital, enthusiastic that he is going to achieve wealth. But as days turn to months turn to years he becomes bitter and resentful and realizes that religion is a sham which plays upon the gullible. So he starts to crusade against religion and superstition. His voice becomes louder and people flock to him and his society of skeptics.

Now he is the chairman of a worldwide organization which gathers money to send missionaries into the farthest regions of the world to bring enlightenment and reason and free the people of the dark savagery of superstition and religion. He is asked to speak everywhere, travelling the world, staying in the best hotels.

In his twilight years he no longer has the energy to run the organization so he turns it over to his adopted son and retires. He emigrates to a nice condo in Manhattan near the headquarters of his organization so that he can still be close when they need him.

Then at last he is on his deathbed and as he reflects upon a life well spent, riding the world of ignorance he looks up to see the witch doctor standing at the foot of his bed with a smile. The witch doctor says to him "told you".
 
2014-03-31 03:36:30 PM  

kid_icarus: Well, has the wealth started rolling in yet?


Hell, with that kind of stupidity I'm willing to throw the dude a buck.
 
2014-03-31 04:05:08 PM  
No Fark pool for the  guy?
 
2014-03-31 06:04:55 PM  
How did he get the hyena to stop?  They're pretty mean.
 
2014-03-31 06:46:47 PM  

sandi_fish: How did he get the hyena to stop?  They're pretty mean.


Maybe it was just full. We don't know how hung he was.
 
2014-03-31 09:13:48 PM  

kid_icarus: Well, has the wealth started rolling in yet?


the 'fame' has.


// This stuff has been going on for 100,000 years
 
2014-03-31 09:21:25 PM  

cgraves67: AbiNormal: So did the hyena bite it off all at once or did it gnaw on it a little before hand?

You know that thing your dog does with a tug-of-war rope? It's like that, but with tearing flesh.


Not an image to relish.
 
2014-03-31 10:11:16 PM  
Oh my god, y'all, this web site looks totally legit! And at first it was just this web site reporting this story, but now Mirror, Daily Mail and News Corp are all over this, so it's totally true!!!1!!1
 
2014-03-31 10:50:40 PM  

dinch: This has got to be the strangest thing I've read in a looonnngg time. I mean, seriously, WTF? And the picture of the guy. He's freakin smiling! And how the fark do you manage to just stand there while a freakin hyena is eating your toes and then genitalia? Seriously, wtf?


Let me see if I can help you out. The website - familiar with it? Me neither. A quick Google New search of Zambia+Hyena turns up daily Mail, Mirror and News Corp, and not a single other credible new source. ZOMG he's smiling ZOMG!!! My guess is he's smiling because he has not actually had his balls gnawed off by a wild animal, but hey maybe that's just crazy talk.

Does that help?
 
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