If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Las Vegas Review Journal)   Masseuse snatches $35,000 Rolex   (reviewjournal.com) divider line 66
    More: Dumbass, Rolex, Wynn Las Vegas, illegal search, University Medical Center  
•       •       •

3554 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2014 at 9:20 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-03-31 08:51:57 AM  
+1
 
2014-03-31 09:11:54 AM  
Simple and elegant. A classic Fark headline if I ever saw one.
 
2014-03-31 09:16:11 AM  
 Rolex Presidential watches range in price from $10,000 to upwards of $30,000. The more expensive ones often are encrusted with jewels, such as diamonds.

point of order: the watch in question is a rolex day-date, sometimes colloquially known as a rolex "president" due to its erroneous association with president eisenhower (he wore a gold rolex datejust).

and the watches don't range from $10k-30k. they start at around $30k and can run upwards of $100k in platinum.

/watch nerd
 
2014-03-31 09:16:48 AM  
oh, and +1 on the headline!
 
2014-03-31 09:22:31 AM  
Prime suspect:

images.onset.freedom.com
 
2014-03-31 09:24:40 AM  
This story smells fishy to me
 
2014-03-31 09:25:21 AM  
Hooker Cyril, when they steal your watch they're just hookers.
 
2014-03-31 09:27:30 AM  
I don't care how good a deal it is - I ain't buying that watch.
 
2014-03-31 09:27:57 AM  
Actually had to read the article to get it.
That sounds a lot like work.
 
2014-03-31 09:29:31 AM  
If you ask her what time it is, it really gets interesting.
 
Rat
2014-03-31 09:30:54 AM  
i235.photobucket.com

™ in Philly, its 50 bucks
 
2014-03-31 09:31:52 AM  
I hope that watch has a light on it, maybe they can find their car keys while they're in there.
 
2014-03-31 09:32:22 AM  
Maybe his arm went in and it slipped off
 
2014-03-31 09:33:38 AM  

FlashHarry: Rolex Presidential watches range in price from $10,000 to upwards of $30,000. The more expensive ones often are encrusted with jewels, such as diamonds.

point of order: the watch in question is a rolex day-date, sometimes colloquially known as a rolex "president" due to its erroneous association with president eisenhower (he wore a gold rolex datejust).

and the watches don't range from $10k-30k. they start at around $30k and can run upwards of $100k in platinum.

/watch nerd


Why?

Never understood why modern Rolex watches command a premium price. Are they especially well made? Do they have areliability or performance advantage over Breitling, Panerai, or Patek Philippe? Or are you paying largely for the brands heritage?
 
2014-03-31 09:34:16 AM  
I bought a Rolex on a street on lower Manhattan for $30.  This fellow had lots of them inside his coat, for sale.  It stopped working, though.  I need to find that gentleman and ask for a replacement, the next time I'm in NYC.
 
2014-03-31 09:34:52 AM  
Nope. Not going to click there.
 
2014-03-31 09:36:05 AM  
Cooter red handed.
 
2014-03-31 09:36:34 AM  
+1... Now, let me just slide this up inside my HOTY storage compartment for later consideration.
 
2014-03-31 09:40:50 AM  

sagiphile: Never understood why modern Rolex watches command a premium price. Are they especially well made? Do they have areliability or performance advantage over Breitling, Panerai, or Patek Philippe? Or are you paying largely for the brands heritage?


yes, they're extremely well-made, reliable and accurate. that being said, the price they command is absolutely ridiculous.

they used to be known for "tool watches." extremely over-engineered chronographs for divers, pilots, explorers, et al.

for example: a rolex submariner dive watch cost about $250 in 1965, or about $1,800 in today's money. expensive, but not insanely so. today, however, a rolex submariner costs nearly $10,000 - far outpacing inflation.

why? because it's purely a status symbol anymore. which is a shame, because they've got a great history and still make great watches.
 
2014-03-31 09:46:01 AM  
good thing the watch is waterproof. *shudder*
 
2014-03-31 09:46:24 AM  
If you're enough of a sucker to buy a $35,000 watch, you really deserve to have it stolen.
 
2014-03-31 09:47:19 AM  
wiki.tarantino.info
 
2014-03-31 09:49:20 AM  

nekom: If you're enough of a sucker to buy a $35,000 watch, you really deserve to have it stolen.


This.
 
2014-03-31 09:53:14 AM  
I just love a happy ending.
 
2014-03-31 09:56:11 AM  
HUGE!!!

ircimg.net
 
2014-03-31 10:00:00 AM  

Milk D: HUGE!!!

[ircimg.net image 604x503]


Hahah dang nabbit I was resetting my password so I could post that, you win Mike D, thread over in 25!
 
2014-03-31 10:05:37 AM  
FTA:  Defense lawyer Chris Rasmussen was outraged when he found out the lengths and depths police went to retrieve the watch from his client...

Come on...isn't anyone going to comment on this little nugget?
 
2014-03-31 10:06:12 AM  

EasilyDistracted: FTA:  Defense lawyer Chris Rasmussen was outraged when he found out the lengths and depths police went to retrieve the watch from his client...

Come on...isn't anyone going to comment on this little nugget?


I missed it, but that's priceless.
 
2014-03-31 10:10:44 AM  
He watched her snatch, and she snatched his watch.

Sounds fair.
 
2014-03-31 10:11:36 AM  

zimbomba63: If you ask her what time it is, it really gets interesting.


I doubt she'd give me the time of day.
 
2014-03-31 10:13:02 AM  
Lafave, who has Metro-issued work cards allowing her to dance at Cheetahs, Cover Girls and Babes strip clubs, is free on $40,000 bail, court records show.

So, in Las Vegas, you need some kind of permit from the government to dance at a strip club?
 
2014-03-31 10:16:41 AM  

GregGates: Hahah dang nabbit I was resetting my password so I could post that, you win Mike D MILK D, thread over in 25!


thanks bud.  FTFY, btw.
 
2014-03-31 10:17:11 AM  
I'm starting to think that she isn't a real Masseuse. A pro would have waited until he was asleep.

/3rd cubic zirconia encrussed 8k  Bolex I've lost this week.
 
2014-03-31 10:18:23 AM  
encrussed = encrusted

/damn speel check
 
2014-03-31 10:18:46 AM  

nekom: If you're enough of a sucker to buy a $35,000 watch, you really deserve to have it stolen.


Some people get them as gifts or inherit them. It used to be on retirement the traditional gift was a gold watch. Now of course you just get booted out the door.
 
2014-03-31 10:19:43 AM  
Subby, that's a slick headline!
 
2014-03-31 10:21:40 AM  
The Rolex Cootchie Presidential. "An elegant watch encrusted with fine jewels of yeast balls"
 
2014-03-31 10:23:24 AM  

FlashHarry: sagiphile: Never understood why modern Rolex watches command a premium price. Are they especially well made? Do they have areliability or performance advantage over Breitling, Panerai, or Patek Philippe? Or are you paying largely for the brands heritage?

yes, they're extremely well-made, reliable and accurate. that being said, the price they command is absolutely ridiculous.

they used to be known for "tool watches." extremely over-engineered chronographs for divers, pilots, explorers, et al.

for example: a rolex submariner dive watch cost about $250 in 1965, or about $1,800 in today's money. expensive, but not insanely so. today, however, a rolex submariner costs nearly $10,000 - far outpacing inflation.

why? because it's purely a status symbol anymore. which is a shame, because they've got a great history and still make great watches.


I first started wanting a Breitling back in the mid-1990s, and back then a Chronomat would set you back around $4000 - $4500. These days, that same watch seems to be going for around $10,000. I still want one, but the odds of me ever having $10K lying around and nothing better to do with it than buy a watch--well, let's just say that those odds are pretty slim.
 
2014-03-31 10:32:34 AM  

Cybernetic: I first started wanting a Breitling back in the mid-1990s, and back then a Chronomat would set you back around $4000 - $4500. These days, that same watch seems to be going for around $10,000. I still want one, but the odds of me ever having $10K lying around and nothing better to do with it than buy a watch--well, let's just say that those odds are pretty slim


go vintage. you can pick up a vintage breitling for under $2k. i picked up a vintage rolex datejust for $1,200 and it keeps time to within 5 seconds a day. not bad for a 40+ year old watch.
 
2014-03-31 10:34:27 AM  
Sagiphile:  Never understood why modern Rolex watches command a premium price. Are they especially well made? Do they have areliability or performance advantage over Breitling, Panerai, or Patek Philippe? Or are you paying largely for the brands heritage?

FlashHarry: yes, they're extremely well-made, reliable and accurate. that being said, the price they command is absolutely ridiculous.

they used to be known for "tool watches." extremely over-engineered chronographs for divers, pilots, explorers, et al.

for example: a rolex submariner dive watch cost about $250 in 1965, or about $1,800 in today's money. expensive, but not insanely so. today, however, a rolex submariner costs nearly $10,000 - far outpacing inflation.

why? because it's purely a status symbol anymore. which is a shame, because they've got a great history and still make great watches.



Watch nerd as well, but sort of a disgruntled fan.  Rolex raises its prices almost every year and they claim they sell out their entire stock.  And they seem to do well even in the midst of a global economic "slowdown".   It's all the newly minted millionares, billionaires in the developing world (including China) who have no qualms about paying up to 10k for a rather unremarkable stainless steel watch.

Rolex isn't the only culprit... Breitling, Patek and especially Panerai have all seen a fairly dramatic increase in price in last 10 years (like in some cases doubling their prices) for many of their models and it's not like a watch from 10 years ago is at all any different than one now.
 
2014-03-31 10:51:57 AM  
Anyone here with a vagina care to fill us in on how painful that would be?
 
2014-03-31 11:08:15 AM  

SirEattonHogg: Sagiphile:  Never understood why modern Rolex watches command a premium price. Are they especially well made? Do they have areliability or performance advantage over Breitling, Panerai, or Patek Philippe? Or are you paying largely for the brands heritage?

FlashHarry: yes, they're extremely well-made, reliable and accurate. that being said, the price they command is absolutely ridiculous.

they used to be known for "tool watches." extremely over-engineered chronographs for divers, pilots, explorers, et al.

for example: a rolex submariner dive watch cost about $250 in 1965, or about $1,800 in today's money. expensive, but not insanely so. today, however, a rolex submariner costs nearly $10,000 - far outpacing inflation.

why? because it's purely a status symbol anymore. which is a shame, because they've got a great history and still make great watches.


Watch nerd as well, but sort of a disgruntled fan.  Rolex raises its prices almost every year and they claim they sell out their entire stock.  And they seem to do well even in the midst of a global economic "slowdown".   It's all the newly minted millionares, billionaires in the developing world (including China) who have no qualms about paying up to 10k for a rather unremarkable stainless steel watch.

Rolex isn't the only culprit... Breitling, Patek and especially Panerai have all seen a fairly dramatic increase in price in last 10 years (like in some cases doubling their prices) for many of their models and it's not like a watch from 10 years ago is at all any different than one now.


I've never seen a rolex that kept better time than a Casio calculator watch.

A billionaire with a calculator watch? That's a badass motherfarker.
 
2014-03-31 11:19:47 AM  

doglover: I've never seen a rolex that kept better time than a Casio calculator watch.


a casio watch is electronic, so it will always keep more accurate time than a rolex or any other mechanical watch.

there's just something inherently cool about a mechanical watch, for me anyway. and the fact that mine gains about 3 seconds a day - out of 84,000 seconds - is pretty awesome for something mechanical.

think of it this way: a digital photograph is more accurate than a painting - but a hyperrealistic painting is way cooler.

this is a photograph:

img.fark.net

this is a painting:

img.fark.net

i would argue that the painting is cooler, though the photo is more "accurate."
 
2014-03-31 11:46:31 AM  
doglover:

I've never seen a rolex that kept better time than a Casio calculator watch.

A billionaire with a calculator watch? That's a badass motherfarker.


No, that's a faux-humble douchebag.

Billionaires in a critical public eye, like testifying before congress, tend to dress down their watches to look like an everyman. Mitt Romney put away his expensive watches for the campaign and instead wore a $200 watch. Ironically, it was a Nixon.
 
2014-03-31 11:53:10 AM  

Cybernetic: Lafave, who has Metro-issued work cards allowing her to dance at Cheetahs, Cover Girls and Babes strip clubs, is free on $40,000 bail, court records show.

So, in Las Vegas, you need some kind of permit from the government to dance at a strip club?


probably more of an id system for when they inevitably find her body in the desert.
 
2014-03-31 12:09:03 PM  
The $35k may be way overblown (yes, that was intentional). You can pick up a nice Day\Date with Presidential band for $5k used. For the haters, it's important to note, you can buy a Rolex, wear it for 10 years and sell it for 75% of your cost. And if you wear it sparingly you can often sell it for more that you paid for it.
 
2014-03-31 12:16:16 PM  

FlashHarry: Rolex Presidential watches range in price from $10,000 to upwards of $30,000. The more expensive ones often are encrusted with jewels, such as diamonds.

point of order: the watch in question is a rolex day-date, sometimes colloquially known as a rolex "president" due to its erroneous association with president eisenhower (he wore a gold rolex datejust).

and the watches don't range from $10k-30k. they start at around $30k and can run upwards of $100k in platinum.

/watch nerd


Mechanics aside, Rolex are one hell of an ugly watch.


Mild watch nerd, I own about 30.  None terrible expensive though.
 
2014-03-31 12:17:17 PM  

NightOwl2255: And if you wear it sparingly you can often sell it for more that you paid for it.


actually, if you wear it long enough, you can beat the ever-living fark out of it and sell it for way more than you paid for it.

/father in law has a GMT that he got as a wedding gift in 1969, which cost about $300
//he wore it every day for 30 years as a power company lineman.
///today, it's worth between $6k-9k (it's a particularly collectible "gilt" GMT)
 
2014-03-31 12:19:08 PM  

tripleseven: Rolex are one hell of an ugly watch.


i would say that it depends on which model. there are certainly mega-ugly day-dates out there (especially the ones encrusted in diamonds). but a submariner is a classic that has changed little since 1953 and will likely never go out of style.
 
2014-03-31 12:32:21 PM  

FlashHarry: tripleseven: Rolex are one hell of an ugly watch.

i would say that it depends on which model. there are certainly mega-ugly day-dates out there (especially the ones encrusted in diamonds). but a submariner is a classic that has changed little since 1953 and will likely never go out of style.


Yes, the submariner is understated, and classically designed.

I will always glance at someone's watch.

2 things that irk me:

1) You're wearing a giant, hockey puck sized watch, because someone told you "Big watches are in"
2) No matter the size of the watch, it needs to be properly sized.  Nothing says clown like having your watch dangle off your wrist, and reside somewhere on your forearm.


In both of these cases, the wearer is 90% of the time a douche, or a clown.
 
Displayed 50 of 66 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report