If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WMTW Portland)   Did you hear about the guy searching for mushrooms who cut open a dead porcupine looking for rare minerals and found a baby? (Awwww inducing pic included)   (wmtw.com) divider line 102
    More: Sappy, Jared Buzzell, Minot, umbilical cords, minerals  
•       •       •

14992 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2014 at 1:46 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-03-30 10:10:24 AM
he was on his way to search for mushrooms in Minot, which he collects for medicinal purposes.

"medicinal purposes". riiiiight.
 
2014-03-30 11:39:51 AM
Well you know, when I read the headline saying he was looking for a "rare mineral" I was like "riiiiight, the porcupine was already dead" but then RTFA and was born anew in faith of humanity.
 
2014-03-30 11:57:09 AM
This whole story is weird. First, just say you're looking for mushrooms for eating and tasting good, you don't have to defend yourself. Most mushrooms hunters are not looking for (the funnest of all) drugs.

Second, I'd love to meet your uncle. Like, what? Rare minerals inside a porcupine? Sounds like your uncle might be interested in those shrooms if you have some to spare.
 
2014-03-30 11:58:26 AM
Retrieving a rare mineral from the abdomen of a porcupine sounds like a task from Final Fantasy or Pokemon
 
2014-03-30 12:05:25 PM
Yes I can do the attestamenting to this. You can find the different types of the minerals in the stomachs of the different animals but only if they have the death from the hand of the other person who is not you. For the example the oyster has the pearl. The llama has the ruby but you probably would not know this. The porcupine can have the many different things.

Now perhaps you are saying to me MEOW HOW DID THIS DO THE WORKING?

Well if you are not aware of this you should perhaps look at the periodic table of the elementals. Now consider for this that if you put the terms in the proper order you will get the spelling of various animals. This is not the coincidence. So now I know also what you are thinking. BUT MEOW WHAT IS THE ANIMAL WHICH HAS THE STOMACH OF GOLD OR PERHAPS EINSTENIUM.

Penguins.
 
2014-03-30 12:08:07 PM

OnlyM3: he was on his way to search for mushrooms in Minot, which he collects for medicinal purposes.
"medicinal purposes". riiiiight.


Tripping balls is medicinal.
 
2014-03-30 12:20:29 PM
I was expecting something more like this.
 
2014-03-30 12:30:17 PM
Thou losest labor. As easy mayst thou the intrenchant air with thy keen sword impress as make me bleed.
Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests; I bear a charmed life, which must not yield to one of porcupine born.

And let the angel whom thou still hast served tell thee, Macduff was from his mother's womb untimely ripped.
 
2014-03-30 12:45:37 PM
Okay that turned into a way too in depth review of bezoars and the treatment of bezoars through Coca Cola ingest.  Three cans a day can apparently help to dissolve these disgusting feltblobs, which also common in humans are often composed of inorganic hair and indigestible food fibers and inorganic matter.

Got damn you interwebby, got damn you to hell.
 
2014-03-30 01:13:22 PM

brap: Okay that turned into a way too in depth review of bezoars and the treatment of bezoars through Coca Cola ingest.  Three cans a day can apparently help to dissolve these disgusting feltblobs, which also common in humans are often composed of inorganic hair and indigestible food fibers and inorganic matter.

Got damn you interwebby, got damn you to hell.


Holy the moly this is the truism.

www.bezoarmustikapearls.comwww.bezoarmustikapearls.comwww.bezoarmustikapearls.comwww.bezoarmustikapearls.com

Cool stuff.
 
2014-03-30 01:26:00 PM

ransack.: Retrieving a rare mineral from the abdomen of a porcupine sounds like a task from Final Fantasy or Pokemon


Or the Fifth Element.
 
2014-03-30 01:38:50 PM
After doing the further reading of this I shall from this day forward carry the knife in the car of me and find the roadkill pearls!
 
2014-03-30 01:39:31 PM

antidisestablishmentarianism: ransack.: Retrieving a rare mineral from the abdomen of a porcupine sounds like a task from Final Fantasy or Pokemon


Or the Fifth Element.


rockitfm.com




THE STONES ARE IN ME.

 
2014-03-30 01:51:18 PM
The porcupine was looking for rare minerals? Is there a woodsy trade show?
 
2014-03-30 01:52:10 PM
Favorite part has to be where he collects mushrooms for medicinal purposes....yeah, that's the story  :)
 
2014-03-30 01:55:05 PM
*scans headline*


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-30 01:55:27 PM
Electric purple has me by the brain banana!!

/nothing here is obscure.
 
2014-03-30 01:57:25 PM

OnlyM3: he was on his way to search for mushrooms in Minot, which he collects for medicinal purposes.
"medicinal purposes". riiiiight.


He actually found a twig and we're all part of his straaange trip, man.
 
2014-03-30 01:58:02 PM
The comments section is has some real gems in it.
"Why would you continue to keep the baby "for a few days BEFORE" handing it over to the proper rehabilitator? If you are feeding it improperly, did not give it the colostrum it needed that a rehabilitator would have, you are only slowly killing the animal that you say you wanted to save by waiting. Baby formula is good for human babies only. No animal should be offered baby formula it can cause stomach upset and will slowly starve them to death because of the lack of nutrients that they need. Porcupines need much more rich formula that a licensed rehabilitator will have. "
"Agreed... professionals would never feed it human formula. They have a large selection of similar mammals' milk available --- if not exactly "porcupine milk" that would be closer to what this baby needs. I hope the baby doesn't get colic or a deficiency of something... It is so sweet, little infant. "
I kinda hope I'm wrong for ridiculing these folks, I would love to see somebody milking a porcupine.
 
2014-03-30 01:59:33 PM

meow said the dog: Yes I can do the attestamenting to this. You can find the different types of the minerals in the stomachs of the different animals but only if they have the death from the hand of the other person who is not you. For the example the oyster has the pearl. The llama has the ruby but you probably would not know this. The porcupine can have the many different things.

Now perhaps you are saying to me MEOW HOW DID THIS DO THE WORKING?

Well if you are not aware of this you should perhaps look at the periodic table of the elementals. Now consider for this that if you put the terms in the proper order you will get the spelling of various animals. This is not the coincidence. So now I know also what you are thinking. BUT MEOW WHAT IS THE ANIMAL WHICH HAS THE STOMACH OF GOLD OR PERHAPS EINSTENIUM.

Penguins.


Before reading the comment of yours, I pretended laughter would result from the reading of it. But after the reading, no laughter was produced.
 
2014-03-30 01:59:52 PM
I got a rock.
 
2014-03-30 02:00:20 PM
Arr, Squiddy...I got nothing against ye...

simpsonswiki.com
 
2014-03-30 02:00:33 PM
Did you hear about the guy searching for mushrooms who cut open a dead porcupine looking for rare minerals and found a baby?

No, but I felt like I was on shrooms when reading subby's headline. Does that count?
 
2014-03-30 02:01:19 PM
Is that rare mineral stone as useful as rhino horn?

/Fark Chinese Medicine
 
2014-03-30 02:01:40 PM

danielscissorhands: Before reading the comment of yours, I pretended laughter would result from the reading of it. But after the reading, no laughter was produced.


Fine. Be the guest of me to do the gutting of me and take the Meowpearl as the reward of you!
 
2014-03-30 02:05:17 PM

meow said the dog: brap: Okay that turned into a way too in depth review of bezoars and the treatment of bezoars through Coca Cola ingest.  Three cans a day can apparently help to dissolve these disgusting feltblobs, which also common in humans are often composed of inorganic hair and indigestible food fibers and inorganic matter.

Got damn you interwebby, got damn you to hell.

Holy the moly this is the truism.



Cool stuff.


Ok, that IS cool. Also, gross.
 
2014-03-30 02:07:23 PM

meow said the dog: brap: Okay that turned into a way too in depth review of bezoars and the treatment of bezoars through Coca Cola ingest.  Three cans a day can apparently help to dissolve these disgusting feltblobs, which also common in humans are often composed of inorganic hair and indigestible food fibers and inorganic matter.

Got damn you interwebby, got damn you to hell.

Holy the moly this is the truism.

img.fark.net
Cool stuff.


mla-s1-p.mlstatic.com
 
2014-03-30 02:07:45 PM
So are they naming the little porcupine MacDuff?
 
2014-03-30 02:09:07 PM
There's gold in them thar porcupines!!!
 
2014-03-30 02:10:23 PM
No really dude, how did you get that baby porcupine?  Sounds like someone was trippin.
 
2014-03-30 02:10:29 PM

flemardo: The comments section is has some real gems in it.
"Why would you continue to keep the baby "for a few days BEFORE" handing it over to the proper rehabilitator? "
I kinda hope I'm wrong for ridiculing these folks, I would love to see somebody milking a porcupine.


I guess in their world, they just dial 1-800-PORCUPINE and a porcupine rehabilitator rushes to their home, 24/7.
 
2014-03-30 02:10:36 PM

meow said the dog: danielscissorhands: Before reading the comment of yours, I pretended laughter would result from the reading of it. But after the reading, no laughter was produced.

Fine. Be the guest of me to do the gutting of me and take the Meowpearl as the reward of you!


Hurray! The elusive meowpearl! But...I couldn't bring myself to do that, meow. Perhaps you could just will it to me. Or, just run in front of a car the next time I'm out gathering medicinal 'shrooms, which I, ahem, take for my arthritis. I will cut it out of u while I am rescuing your baby.
 
2014-03-30 02:11:51 PM

thamike: Tripping balls is medicinal.


Thank you!

Getting out of your ego once in a while does your humility a world of wonder. I've taken them theraputically for 20 years now, and think they're the best way to come off a coke binge.
 
2014-03-30 02:13:29 PM
I learned something today.  Not something I especially WANTED to know, but bezorium HO!!!
 
2014-03-30 02:14:02 PM

danielscissorhands: Hurray! The elusive meowpearl! But...I couldn't bring myself to do that, meow. Perhaps you could just will it to me. Or, just run in front of a car the next time I'm out gathering medicinal 'shrooms, which I, ahem, take for my arthritis. I will cut it out of u while I am rescuing your baby.


this is, like, one of the creepiest post I've seen her on fark...
 
2014-03-30 02:17:43 PM

ransack.: Retrieving a rare mineral from the abdomen of a porcupine sounds like a task from Final Fantasy or Pokemon


That's what I was thinking about. Do porcupines eat gold or precious gems?
 
2014-03-30 02:18:55 PM

meow said the dog: After doing the further reading of this I shall from this day forward carry the knife in the car of me and find the roadkill pearls!


"Roadkill Pearls" would be a great name for a band.
 
2014-03-30 02:18:56 PM
Porcupine and shrooms is a decent band name.
 
2014-03-30 02:19:58 PM
I didn't know porcupines ate babies
 
2014-03-30 02:20:07 PM
Talking to the full-grown porpentine in the future:

'So, I cut open your mom and was looting her body...OW! OW! OWOWOW!!! Stop doing tha OW!!'

/fretful
 
2014-03-30 02:20:32 PM

uttertosh: this is, like, one of the creepiest post I've seen her on fark...


Take it you do not visit TFD.
 
2014-03-30 02:23:12 PM

Marcus Aurelius: I was expecting something more like this.


zomg,  lmfao ... That's exactly what I was expecting.  Is that vid something you had bookmarked for a rainy day,  or did you just happen across it specifically for this thread?
 
2014-03-30 02:24:10 PM

danielscissorhands: meow said the dog: brap: Okay that turned into a way too in depth review of bezoars and the treatment of bezoars through Coca Cola ingest.  Three cans a day can apparently help to dissolve these disgusting feltblobs, which also common in humans are often composed of inorganic hair and indigestible food fibers and inorganic matter.

Got damn you interwebby, got damn you to hell.

Holy the moly this is the truism.

Cool stuff.

Ok, that IS cool. Also, gross.


And thanks to you two, I now know that you can even buy cow benzoars on eBay, to "dispel stomach heat" whatever the hell that is. Comes in pill form.
 
2014-03-30 02:31:15 PM

meow said the dog: Yes I can do the attestamenting to this. You can find the different types of the minerals in the stomachs of the different animals but only if they have the death from the hand of the other person who is not you. For the example the oyster has the pearl. The llama has the ruby but you probably would not know this. The porcupine can have the many different things.

Now perhaps you are saying to me MEOW HOW DID THIS DO THE WORKING?

Well if you are not aware of this you should perhaps look at the periodic table of the elementals. Now consider for this that if you put the terms in the proper order you will get the spelling of various animals. This is not the coincidence. So now I know also what you are thinking. BUT MEOW WHAT IS THE ANIMAL WHICH HAS THE STOMACH OF GOLD OR PERHAPS EINSTENIUM.

Penguins.


Pure comedy gold :)

/i love you Meow
 
2014-03-30 02:33:39 PM

thamike: antidisestablishmentarianism: ransack.: Retrieving a rare mineral from the abdomen of a porcupine sounds like a task from Final Fantasy or Pokemon
Or the Fifth Element.





THE STONES ARE IN ME.


Is that Ron Jeremy? I've never seen the Fifth Element.
 
2014-03-30 02:35:40 PM

uttertosh: thamike: Tripping balls is medicinal.

Thank you!

Getting out of your ego once in a while does your humility a world of wonder. I've taken them theraputically for 20 years now, and think they're the best way to come off a coke binge.


Your parents must be proud.
 
2014-03-30 02:36:27 PM
If animals can't be full of minerals how do tuna fish carry all that mercury?

Checkmate libulardos
 
2014-03-30 02:39:04 PM

uttertosh: danielscissorhands: Hurray! The elusive meowpearl! But...I couldn't bring myself to do that, meow. Perhaps you could just will it to me. Or, just run in front of a car the next time I'm out gathering medicinal 'shrooms, which I, ahem, take for my arthritis. I will cut it out of u while I am rescuing your baby.

this is, like, one of the creepiest post I've seen her on fark...


Sounds like someone didn't RTFA.
 
2014-03-30 02:50:05 PM

danielscissorhands: meow said the dog: Yes I can do the attestamenting to this. You can find the different types of the minerals in the stomachs of the different animals but only if they have the death from the hand of the other person who is not you. For the example the oyster has the pearl. The llama has the ruby but you probably would not know this. The porcupine can have the many different things.

Now perhaps you are saying to me MEOW HOW DID THIS DO THE WORKING?

Well if you are not aware of this you should perhaps look at the periodic table of the elementals. Now consider for this that if you put the terms in the proper order you will get the spelling of various animals. This is not the coincidence. So now I know also what you are thinking. BUT MEOW WHAT IS THE ANIMAL WHICH HAS THE STOMACH OF GOLD OR PERHAPS EINSTENIUM.

Penguins.

Before reading the comment of yours, I pretended laughter would result from the reading of it. But after the reading, no laughter was produced.


That's just how good it is.
 
2014-03-30 02:51:50 PM

brap: Okay that turned into a way too in depth review of bezoars and the treatment of bezoars through Coca Cola ingest.


I resemble that remark - trichobezoar
 
Displayed 50 of 102 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report