Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Independent)   Search teams 'tantalizingly close' to finding the wreckage of missing flight MH370, Bigfoot, Loch Ness Moster   (independent.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

2464 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2014 at 8:24 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-03-30 08:25:29 AM  
No one has found a thing FFS.
 
2014-03-30 08:27:19 AM  
"the Independent"  apparently uses a picture of 404, which is also down.
 
2014-03-30 08:28:49 AM  
It took them 2 years to find AF447 wreckage, and they knew exactly where that went down.  They may never find it.
 
2014-03-30 08:33:32 AM  

mcnguyen: It took them 2 years to find AF447 wreckage, and they knew exactly where that went down.  They may never find it.


It took them 2 years to find the black boxes. It took five days to find pieces of wreckage.
 
2014-03-30 08:35:10 AM  
At this point, it's more likely they'll find Jimmy Hoffa first.
 
2014-03-30 08:37:22 AM  

TeamEd: mcnguyen: It took them 2 years to find AF447 wreckage, and they knew exactly where that went down.  They may never find it.

It took them 2 years to find the black boxes. It took five days to find pieces of wreckage.


I didn't think it was even that long...  I thought they found flotsam the next day or so (but I could be wrong).
 
2014-03-30 08:38:39 AM  
Dateline, March 2017

random guy: Hey, they found that plane!
Second guy: What plane?
Rg: that plane from like three years ago that disappeared.
SG: oh yeah. Hey, did you hear o.j. is getting out of prison?
Rg: Duh! how could you miss CNN' s 24 hour coverage?
 
2014-03-30 08:38:39 AM  
Lord Tantalus approves.
The Southern Ocean sucks this time of year.
 
2014-03-30 08:39:29 AM  

mcnguyen: It took them 2 years to find AF447 wreckage, and they knew exactly where that went down.  They may never find it.


They'll do good if they can confirm its in the southern indian ocean.
Problem is the floating debris field is now a thousand miles wide and sparsely populated. Its just as likely pieces will wash up in Perth as any search plane will find something.

/Knowing this tho, it eliminates most conspiracy theories.
/The plane was probably not hijacked, its unlikely to be a suicide, UFO's were not involved.
/Crew was incapacitated and the plane, already trimmed out, flew a wobbly course on its own until it finally ran dry.
/Its the kind of thing thats happened a few times before, but mostly to smaller aircraft.
 
2014-03-30 08:39:46 AM  
Best of luck, we're all counting on you.
 
2014-03-30 08:39:58 AM  
...... honest politician, good quality used car, divorce lawyer with a soul, nice rap song.......
 
2014-03-30 08:40:04 AM  
Orenthal James has volunteered- right after he finds the real killer.
 
2014-03-30 08:42:58 AM  
www.rocksbackpages.com
 
2014-03-30 08:48:17 AM  
way south:

/Knowing this tho, it eliminates most conspiracy theories.
/The plane was probably not hijacked, its unlikely to be a suicide, UFO's were not involved.
/Crew was incapacitated and the plane, already trimmed out, flew a wobbly course on its own until it finally ran dry.
/Its the kind of thing thats happened a few times before, but mostly to smaller aircraft.


It was the influence of Cthulhu that drove the flight crew insane.  Along with the soul-shattering calls of Father Dagon and Mother Hydra.  They need SOULS!
 
2014-03-30 08:51:50 AM  
Look..those grainy black and white satellite pics of 24 meter chunks of whatever they saw was b.s.

If google earth can nearly read a licence plate from crappy ImageSat data...yiu cant convince me military spy satellites cannot idenify 72-foot wide pieces of debris.
 
2014-03-30 08:52:01 AM  
Sounds like something I tell myself debugging someone else's code. It's either found, or yet to be found, there's no measure of proximity.
 
2014-03-30 08:52:39 AM  
At least they're on the right planet..
 
2014-03-30 08:55:02 AM  
If we've learned nothing else, it's that India needs to clean up its ocean.
 
2014-03-30 08:55:59 AM  
It'll probably be in the last place they look.
 
2014-03-30 09:01:19 AM  
Airbase in Tajikistan?
 
2014-03-30 09:01:46 AM  

edmo: At least they're on the right planet..


At this point, I'm not sure if they're in the right solar system anymore.

Shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
 
2014-03-30 09:02:09 AM  
"Maybe he's dead, maybe he's not," Sarah Bajc, the girlfriend of a US passenger, Philip Wood, told Associated Press in Beijing.


Really? Wow.
 
2014-03-30 09:05:06 AM  

edmo: At least they're on the right planet..


Not according to:
I'm not saying it's aliens.jpg
 
2014-03-30 09:06:21 AM  

edmo: At least they're on the right planet..


Xemu has upgraded to Intergalactic Boeing 777s, instead of the out-of-date DC10s.  He would have used Gulfstreams for everyone, but those are for the Scientology elite like John Travolta.
 
2014-03-30 09:07:03 AM  

Life_is_a_carnivore: "Maybe he's dead, maybe he's not," Sarah Bajc, the girlfriend of a US passenger, Philip Wood, told Associated Press in Beijing.


Really? Wow.


Yeah i had the same reaction.

Look lady..it really REALLY sucks...and im sorry...but your relative is dead.
 
2014-03-30 09:08:19 AM  
Jeebus, regarding this tragedy, Fark is turning into the CNN of the web. There's really no news to report but any little non-event is reported anyways.
 
2014-03-30 09:08:27 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Look..those grainy black and white satellite pics of 24 meter chunks of whatever they saw was b.s.

If google earth can nearly read a licence plate from crappy ImageSat data...yiu cant convince me military spy satellites cannot idenify 72-foot wide pieces of debris.


Most Google earth pictures of metro areas that show greater detail were taken with chartered airplane flights at low altitude. The resolution that US based satellites are allowed to sell is published by the government.

The nation that took that picture almost certainly would not want to tip anyone off that they can or cannot resolve an object like that.
 
2014-03-30 09:15:40 AM  

onyxruby: The more you eat the more you fart: Look..those grainy black and white satellite pics of 24 meter chunks of whatever they saw was b.s.

If google earth can nearly read a licence plate from crappy ImageSat data...yiu cant convince me military spy satellites cannot idenify 72-foot wide pieces of debris.

Most Google earth pictures of metro areas that show greater detail were taken with chartered airplane flights at low altitude. The resolution that US based satellites are allowed to sell is published by the government.

The nation that took that picture almost certainly would not want to tip anyone off that they can or cannot resolve an object like that.


I was checking coastal pics, the bottom named the satellite used to take the image. I could easily read the names on buildings on the boardwalk.
 
2014-03-30 09:17:08 AM  

Target Builder: It'll probably be in the last place they look.


Or they've actually had it in their hand the whole time while they were looking for it.

/hate it when that happens
 
2014-03-30 09:21:13 AM  
www.independent.co.uk
Australia's Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, warned that finding MH370 would present a formidable challenge. "At this point, if we find the wreckage, there is a strong possibility that any of the remaining passengers will be undead zombies," he said. "Accordingly, we are arming our search vessels, such as the 'Ocean Shield' visible behind me, with torpedoes. We will put those passengers to rest, one way or another."
 
2014-03-30 09:23:38 AM  

onyxruby: The more you eat the more you fart: Look..those grainy black and white satellite pics of 24 meter chunks of whatever they saw was b.s.

If google earth can nearly read a licence plate from crappy ImageSat data...yiu cant convince me military spy satellites cannot idenify 72-foot wide pieces of debris.

Most Google earth pictures of metro areas that show greater detail were taken with chartered airplane flights at low altitude. The resolution that US based satellites are allowed to sell is published by the government.

The nation that took that picture almost certainly would not want to tip anyone off that they can or cannot resolve an object like that.


This. Also, most military visual imagery satellites are in orbits designed to maximize coverage of the northern hemisphere, the high southern latitudes will not get good coverage and anything above NIIRS 4-5 will be quite rare.
 
2014-03-30 09:29:52 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Look..those grainy black and white satellite pics of 24 meter chunks of whatever they saw was b.s.

If google earth can nearly read a licence plate from crappy ImageSat data...yiu cant convince me military spy satellites cannot idenify 72-foot wide pieces of debris.



That grainy B.S. is about par for the course.

Spy satellites are not hindered by tech. Everyone knows what the tech capability/limit is. This is not some closely guarded secret.  Atmosphere is the biggest roadblock with imagery. You only solve that with lower level flight.
 
2014-03-30 09:30:09 AM  
At this point, if I were Malaysian officials, at the next press conference I'd toss all the screaming families a few packs of arm floaties and tell em "if you think you can do better, go right ahead".
 
2014-03-30 09:30:52 AM  
It was probably shot down by some air defense grid, and whoever is responsible is too embarrassed to come clean.
 
2014-03-30 09:34:04 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Life_is_a_carnivore: "Maybe he's dead, maybe he's not," Sarah Bajc, the girlfriend of a US passenger, Philip Wood, told Associated Press in Beijing.


Really? Wow.

Yeah i had the same reaction.

Look lady..it really REALLY sucks...and im sorry...but your relative is dead.


Not necessarily. It's possible they're alive somewhere, possibly even reading this on an iPad made of coconuts.

i76.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-30 09:46:13 AM  
Ok, I'm tired of the families.  Your son is not alive, the plane is not hidden and ok.  And you aren't owed any more than any grieving family over any tragedy.  Lots of people don't know with certainty what has happened to loved ones.

Harrumph.
 
2014-03-30 09:46:38 AM  
Flotsam and jetsam, well maybe not jetsam.
 
2014-03-30 09:54:32 AM  
BREAKING NEWS! n MORE OBJECTS SPOTTED BY [countryname] SATELLITE! PLANES EN ROUTE!
 
2014-03-30 10:02:40 AM  
Has anyone thought to look in the wash basin?

/obscure?
 
2014-03-30 10:04:02 AM  
I heard an interview on NPR this morning with someone who has been involved with local search and rescue efforts after the Washington mudslide.  The reporter asked whether she had any realistic expectations about finding any survivors, at the point.  And she quickly responded "Oh, yes!"

Commendable effort and attitude, but what are the odds after a week buried beneath 15 feet of quicksand?

/"She's dead, Jim."
 
2014-03-30 10:04:41 AM  

Theaetetus: [www.independent.co.uk image 620x465]
Australia's Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, warned that finding MH370 would present a formidable challenge. "At this point, if we find the wreckage, there is a strong possibility that any of the remaining passengers will be undead zombies," he said. "Accordingly, we are arming our search vessels, such as the 'Ocean Shield' visible behind me, with torpedoes. We will put those passengers to rest, one way or another."


What if one of the zombies is pregnant?
 
2014-03-30 10:05:45 AM  

SoupJohnB: I heard an interview on NPR this morning with someone who has been involved with local search and rescue efforts after the Washington mudslide.  The reporter asked whether she had any realistic expectations about finding any survivors, at the point.  And she quickly responded "Oh, yes!"

Commendable effort and attitude, but what are the odds after a week buried beneath 15 feet of quicksand?

/"She's dead, Jim."


Depends. Is my basement intact? I have a fair supply of Mt. Dew Code Red and Raman down there.
 
2014-03-30 10:08:09 AM  

CruJones: Ok, I'm tired of the families.  Your son is not alive, the plane is not hidden and ok.  And you aren't owed any more than any grieving family over any tragedy.  Lots of people don't know with certainty what has happened to loved ones.

Harrumph.


From the Guardian:

"We want evidence. We want the truth. We want our relatives," the group chanted in Chinese as they staged a protest at a hotel near the Malaysian capital, holding banners reading: "We want evidence, truth, dignity" in Chinese, and "Hand us the murderer. Tell us the truth. Give us our relatives back" in English.

Err...huh?
 
2014-03-30 10:21:42 AM  
Bout tree fiddy.
 
2014-03-30 10:25:00 AM  

RedfordRenegade: Best of luck, we're all counting on you.


It's an entirely different kind of crash altogether.
 
2014-03-30 10:27:18 AM  
way south:
/The plane was probably not hijacked, its unlikely to be a suicide, UFO's were not involved.

What part of "langoliers" is so hard to understand?

Wait.  Is langoliers a generic noun or a proper noun?  Should it be spelled Langoliers?  Damn, I guess it is kinda hard to understand.

Carry on!
 
2014-03-30 10:30:47 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: RedfordRenegade: Best of luck, we're all counting on you.

It's an entirely different kind of crash altogether.


It's an entirely different kind of crash.
 
2014-03-30 10:36:26 AM  
BREAKING: Airliner found under hillside in Oso, Washington.

/Plane got homesick.
 
2014-03-30 10:39:45 AM  

Torrent of Rubbish: CruJones: Ok, I'm tired of the families.  Your son is not alive, the plane is not hidden and ok.  And you aren't owed any more than any grieving family over any tragedy.  Lots of people don't know with certainty what has happened to loved ones.

Harrumph.

From the Guardian:

"We want evidence. We want the truth. We want our relatives," the group chanted in Chinese as they staged a protest at a hotel near the Malaysian capital, holding banners reading: "We want evidence, truth, dignity" in Chinese, and "Hand us the murderer. Tell us the truth. Give us our relatives back" in English.

Err...huh?


We need to find the plane so that it can be hanged for crashing...

Why is it that someone always needs to be labeled as 'the murderer' to make people satisfied? I understand it as a part of denial/coping, but do they really need to demand blood?
 
2014-03-30 10:50:45 AM  

way south: mcnguyen: It took them 2 years to find AF447 wreckage, and they knew exactly where that went down.  They may never find it.

They'll do good if they can confirm its in the southern indian ocean.
Problem is the floating debris field is now a thousand miles wide and sparsely populated. Its just as likely pieces will wash up in Perth as any search plane will find something.

/Knowing this tho, it eliminates most conspiracy theories.
/The plane was probably not hijacked, its unlikely to be a suicide, UFO's were not involved.
/Crew was incapacitated and the plane, already trimmed out, flew a wobbly course on its own until it finally ran dry.
/Its the kind of thing thats happened a few times before, but mostly to smaller aircraft.


The "fire" scenario is actually even LESS likely than hijacking. If a fire in a large plane like that can end comms that quickly, it is that much more critical we find this thing because there are a lot of 777s in the air. The Swissair plane was communicating with the ground a long time even with molten aluminum dripping on the cockpit crew.
 
Displayed 50 of 68 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report