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(Dallas Observer)   Man who attached a photograph of his penis to his résumé given the shaft   (blogs.dallasobserver.com) divider line 39
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7749 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Mar 2014 at 3:37 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-29 10:40:39 PM
You damn right
 
2014-03-29 10:47:10 PM
Dickhead
 
2014-03-29 10:52:26 PM
That's a bold move. My resume could use some updating...and some sexay....
 
2014-03-29 10:53:14 PM
powermc.ca

I tried doing that once
 
2014-03-29 10:55:38 PM
ITT: The first liar don't stand a chance
 
2014-03-29 11:01:31 PM
My guess is, he labelled his dick pic something like mypic.jpg and later didn't remember that it wasn't a normal headshot.  Well, not the right head.

Or he's a farking idiot pervert.
 
2014-03-29 11:08:11 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: My guess is, he labelled his dick pic something like mypic.jpg and later didn't remember that it wasn't a normal headshot.  Well, not the right head.

Or he's a farking idiot pervert.


Hey, it would have worked on this HR director:

www.feistees.com
 
2014-03-29 11:56:40 PM
I suppose it depends on the type of job you're looking for.
 
2014-03-30 12:22:04 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: My guess is, he labelled his dick pic something like mypic.jpg and later didn't remember that it wasn't a normal headshot.  Well, not the right head.

Or he's a farking idiot pervert.


This is a mistake the goddamn young'ins make.  At no point should your private photos ever be intermingled with your general photo population.  It was easy back in the day when you had to <gasp> get pictures developed.  Then you'd make damn sure to physically separate them.  Even in the early days of digital cameras, you had to manually offload the photos, and you could sort them then.  These days you have to do a boatload of extra work to make sure that shiat gets isolated.  Photo Stream?  That shiat lives forever.  You have to manually move them AND make sure they are deleted from your phone.  Best make sure you don't have automatic backups, either.

Take a lesson - get an isolated camera for the private pics.  Control it like your career and your life as you know it depended on it.  If you want to take the risk at all.
 
2014-03-30 02:26:43 AM
Well, they always say put something on your resume that will catch HR's eye.
 
2014-03-30 03:34:50 AM
It might be short, but it's skinny.
 
2014-03-30 03:47:06 AM
In today's world that's really all the resume you need
 
2014-03-30 03:52:55 AM
Jesus with all these stupid rules for getting a job. "Wear nice clothes, but not too nice," "Speak in an articulate manner," "Don't attach a picture of your wang to your resume". farking facists. Next they are going to tell me that taking a dump on the CEO's car is a bad idea.
 
2014-03-30 04:29:16 AM
Long story short, I had a buddy who got involved with a gal who slept around... a lot.  And anyhow, he was involved in a love triangle with this gal and one of my coworker.  This woman got into a pretty heavy and serious relationship with them both at the same time, and even somehow managed to live with each guy for a period of time without either guy having knowledge of the other.

My buddy finally found out about the other corner of the love triangle and totally flipped out.  He got a large email address list of a number of local managers and employees at that guy's company (and my company as well), and then proceeded to spend half a day emailing from an anonymous account photos of him getting sucked off by this chick or her having sex with him, with his face either cut off or blurred out in all of the photos.  He then wrote at the bottom of the email - "this is [gal's name], she is dating ____, who is your employee/coworker.  She is a slut."

It was hardly the crime of the century and my coworker immediately knew who it was.  Since my coworker knew I was friends with this guy, I was also called in by one of the company managers to account for what happened.  I said I didn't know (which is true) and that my buddy was totally crazy (correct).  They seemed convinced and didn't fire or discipline me, but it queered my relationship with a few of the managers.  Whatever.  Afterwards I yelled at my buddy who then bought me free drinks for a full month afterwards.

It was true epic fail.

Anyhow, this happened in China, not America.  The gal was a Chinese local. My buddy was American (as am I).  And the coworker was European.  The gal complained to the cops and my buddy was brought to a local police station.  After half a day of being detained and questioned (also calling in a local Chinese criminal defense lawyer for help) he was merely threatened with being jailed or kicked out of the country if he approached this girl ever again.   He signed a statement, was released and that was that.  He later told me that one cop at the station laughingly mentioned to him that when it comes to local women and foreign boyfriends, they've seen some weird relationship meltdowns that involved the police, so they were sort of sympathetic to him going nuts.

If this happened in America, my buddy would no doubt be facing criminal charges, on a sex offenders list and maybe a civil suit as well.

CSB?
 
2014-03-30 04:46:59 AM

SirEattonHogg: Long story short, I had a buddy who got involved with a gal who slept around... a lot.  And anyhow, he was involved in a love triangle with this gal and one of my coworker.  This woman got into a pretty heavy and serious relationship with them both at the same time, and even somehow managed to live with each guy for a period of time without either guy having knowledge of the other.

My buddy finally found out about the other corner of the love triangle and totally flipped out.  He got a large email address list of a number of local managers and employees at that guy's company (and my company as well), and then proceeded to spend half a day emailing from an anonymous account photos of him getting sucked off by this chick or her having sex with him, with his face either cut off or blurred out in all of the photos.  He then wrote at the bottom of the email - "this is [gal's name], she is dating ____, who is your employee/coworker.  She is a slut."

It was hardly the crime of the century and my coworker immediately knew who it was.  Since my coworker knew I was friends with this guy, I was also called in by one of the company managers to account for what happened.  I said I didn't know (which is true) and that my buddy was totally crazy (correct).  They seemed convinced and didn't fire or discipline me, but it queered my relationship with a few of the managers.  Whatever.  Afterwards I yelled at my buddy who then bought me free drinks for a full month afterwards.

It was true epic fail.

Anyhow, this happened in China, not America.  The gal was a Chinese local. My buddy was American (as am I).  And the coworker was European.  The gal complained to the cops and my buddy was brought to a local police station.  After half a day of being detained and questioned (also calling in a local Chinese criminal defense lawyer for help) he was merely threatened with being jailed or kicked out of the country if he approached this girl ever again.   He signed a statement, was released ...


that is a cool story, more so because i too live in china, and have seen/been party to many many such melt downs. do not stick your dick in crazy et al.
 
2014-03-30 04:49:59 AM

some_beer_drinker: SirEattonHogg: Long story short, I had a buddy who got involved with a gal who slept around... a lot.  And anyhow, he was involved in a love triangle with this gal and one of my coworker.  This woman got into a pretty heavy and serious relationship with them both at the same time, and even somehow managed to live with each guy for a period of time without either guy having knowledge of the other.

My buddy finally found out about the other corner of the love triangle and totally flipped out.  He got a large email address list of a number of local managers and employees at that guy's company (and my company as well), and then proceeded to spend half a day emailing from an anonymous account photos of him getting sucked off by this chick or her having sex with him, with his face either cut off or blurred out in all of the photos.  He then wrote at the bottom of the email - "this is [gal's name], she is dating ____, who is your employee/coworker.  She is a slut."

It was hardly the crime of the century and my coworker immediately knew who it was.  Since my coworker knew I was friends with this guy, I was also called in by one of the company managers to account for what happened.  I said I didn't know (which is true) and that my buddy was totally crazy (correct).  They seemed convinced and didn't fire or discipline me, but it queered my relationship with a few of the managers.  Whatever.  Afterwards I yelled at my buddy who then bought me free drinks for a full month afterwards.

It was true epic fail.

Anyhow, this happened in China, not America.  The gal was a Chinese local. My buddy was American (as am I).  And the coworker was European.  The gal complained to the cops and my buddy was brought to a local police station.  After half a day of being detained and questioned (also calling in a local Chinese criminal defense lawyer for help) he was merely threatened with being jailed or kicked out of the country if he approached this girl ever again.   He signed a statement, was released ...

that is a cool story, more so because i too live in china, and have seen/been party to many many such melt downs. do not stick your dick in crazy et al.


So...prevalence of crazy higher or lower among Chinese trim?

From the meltdown rate..they serm equal to Americans in the batshiat cracra department, but im just speculating.
 
2014-03-30 04:55:05 AM

The more you eat the more you fart: So...prevalence of crazy higher or lower among Chinese trim?


about equal - watch out for their mothers

// dont ask why I know this
 
2014-03-30 05:03:43 AM
Someone was clearly teeming with.....

*dons sunglasses*

........phallus hope.

/YEEEAAAAAAAAH!
 
2014-03-30 05:21:29 AM

Lsherm: Benevolent Misanthrope: My guess is, he labelled his dick pic something like mypic.jpg and later didn't remember that it wasn't a normal headshot.  Well, not the right head.

Or he's a farking idiot pervert.

This is a mistake the goddamn young'ins make.  At no point should your private photos ever be intermingled with your general photo population.  It was easy back in the day when you had to <gasp> get pictures developed.  Then you'd make damn sure to physically separate them.  Even in the early days of digital cameras, you had to manually offload the photos, and you could sort them then.  These days you have to do a boatload of extra work to make sure that shiat gets isolated.  Photo Stream?  That shiat lives forever.  You have to manually move them AND make sure they are deleted from your phone.  Best make sure you don't have automatic backups, either.

Take a lesson - get an isolated camera for the private pics.  Control it like your career and your life as you know it depended on it.  If you want to take the risk at all.


It's not really that difficult: Don't name your dick pics "photo001.jpg". If you must take pictures of your genitalia, name the file "Dick Photo 1". Better still, of course, is to don't take pictures of your naughty bits; but evidently that's just too impossible for a certain segment of the population.
 
2014-03-30 05:51:24 AM

Gyrfalcon: Lsherm: Benevolent Misanthrope: My guess is, he labelled his dick pic something like mypic.jpg and later didn't remember that it wasn't a normal headshot.  Well, not the right head.

Or he's a farking idiot pervert.

This is a mistake the goddamn young'ins make.  At no point should your private photos ever be intermingled with your general photo population.  It was easy back in the day when you had to <gasp> get pictures developed.  Then you'd make damn sure to physically separate them.  Even in the early days of digital cameras, you had to manually offload the photos, and you could sort them then.  These days you have to do a boatload of extra work to make sure that shiat gets isolated.  Photo Stream?  That shiat lives forever.  You have to manually move them AND make sure they are deleted from your phone.  Best make sure you don't have automatic backups, either.

Take a lesson - get an isolated camera for the private pics.  Control it like your career and your life as you know it depended on it.  If you want to take the risk at all.

It's not really that difficult: Don't name your dick pics "photo001.jpg". If you must take pictures of your genitalia, name the file "Dick Photo 1". Better still, of course, is to don't take pictures of your naughty bits; but evidently that's just too impossible for a certain segment of the population.


Apparently men love their dicks. They love their dicks a lot. They love them so much they have to take photos of their dick. They figure these are glorious pictures. Which would probably be okay if it ended there, but they then feel it is their duty to share such glory with as many people as possible, none of whom will be anywhere near as impressed with the dick as the owner of the dick is. The reason it is illegal to flash your dick at strangers in public is because otherwise men would be constantly doing just that, and that would get annoying pretty fast.
 
2014-03-30 06:45:57 AM
Shut yo' mouth, subby.
 
2014-03-30 07:13:02 AM
some_beer_drinker:  that is a cool story, more so because i too live in china, and have seen/been party to many many such melt downs. do not stick your dick in crazy et al.

Ah, another China expat.  Golden words - don't stick dick in crazy.  More so in China, although it's hard not to, as I'm sure you know ;)


The more you eat the more you fart:   So...prevalence of crazy higher or lower among Chinese trim?

From the meltdown rate..they serm equal to Americans in the batshiat cracra department, but im just speculating.


I think the craziness can be (much) higher.  Obviously relationship craziness is universal, but it's probably exacerbated because you have these artificial conditions. Such as foreign males who work there acting like they are the rooster in the henhouse due to being paid foreign levels, often being there only a year or two, and thinking laws don't apply to them (in China, sometimes they really don't).  On the gal's part, maybe there is a cultural aspect, which I really don't care to speculate on, and maybe a serious desire for a green card to 'Mericuh or anywhere out of China.  They often don't understand western dating habits and for some gals - they are surprised at how casually Westerners hop from bed to bed.  Anyhow, it can be a bad mix.
 
2014-03-30 07:19:28 AM
So is it okay to send a pic of someone else's dick? Mine is not very photogenic anyway. I just need to know the rules...
 
2014-03-30 07:32:43 AM
Pics? Some of its don't mind seeing them.
 
2014-03-30 07:39:58 AM

Nidiot: Gyrfalcon: Lsherm: Benevolent Misanthrope: My guess is, he labelled his dick pic something like mypic.jpg and later didn't remember that it wasn't a normal headshot.  Well, not the right head.

Or he's a farking idiot pervert.

This is a mistake the goddamn young'ins make.  At no point should your private photos ever be intermingled with your general photo population.  It was easy back in the day when you had to <gasp> get pictures developed.  Then you'd make damn sure to physically separate them.  Even in the early days of digital cameras, you had to manually offload the photos, and you could sort them then.  These days you have to do a boatload of extra work to make sure that shiat gets isolated.  Photo Stream?  That shiat lives forever.  You have to manually move them AND make sure they are deleted from your phone.  Best make sure you don't have automatic backups, either.

Take a lesson - get an isolated camera for the private pics.  Control it like your career and your life as you know it depended on it.  If you want to take the risk at all.

It's not really that difficult: Don't name your dick pics "photo001.jpg". If you must take pictures of your genitalia, name the file "Dick Photo 1". Better still, of course, is to don't take pictures of your naughty bits; but evidently that's just too impossible for a certain segment of the population.

Apparently men love their dicks. They love their dicks a lot. They love them so much they have to take photos of their dick. They figure these are glorious pictures. Which would probably be okay if it ended there, but they then feel it is their duty to share such glory with as many people as possible, none of whom will be anywhere near as impressed with the dick as the owner of the dick is. The reason it is illegal to flash your dick at strangers in public is because otherwise men would be constantly doing just that, and that would get annoying pretty fast.


That's why old school gentleman works.  You invite her to join you somewhere private, then flash her if you feel the need.  If she doesn't join you, she doesn't want to see it and you move on.  It isn't like you need to remember where you left your genitals, you can't leave it another pants by accident, so wait for someone who actually doesn't mind being flashed.  Wives are perfect for this weird man thing, just flash them whenever you are alone, even though she says 'well I've seen it a thousand times' and you could reply 'well here's once more.'  Works out well when she gets into the game and flashes back, but using electronic devices just adds an ingredient for fail.  Even when the pic is sent to the right person, it could still go wrong.  I walked up behind a coworker sitting in an open area looking at his phone, I think I saw his wife on his phone.  I felt very awkward about it because I didn't want to be part of something that was meant just for him, I hope he learned to not sit in an open area to look at that stuff anymore.
 
2014-03-30 07:52:28 AM
Guessing the guy has a "resume quota" that he has to meet every week to qualify for his government benefits and doesn't really WANT to get a job, but does want to keep mooching off the benefits.

How much you wanna bet?
 
2014-03-30 08:16:22 AM
"Sorry, our health plan won't take a pre-existing condition."
 
2014-03-30 08:40:15 AM
Dick too small?
 
2014-03-30 08:43:08 AM

Buttknuckle: Pics? Some of its don't mind seeing them.


How true.
 
2014-03-30 09:34:09 AM

LtDarkstar: Guessing the guy has a "resume quota" that he has to meet every week to qualify for his government benefits and doesn't really WANT to get a job, but does want to keep mooching off the benefits.

How much you wanna bet?


Wouldn't take that bet. All he had to do was misspell something or just have a shiatty resume. Or since you need three different type of job contacts a week, send in the resume to get the job interview, then tank the interview.
 
2014-03-30 09:54:47 AM
The guy's still unemployed?

Maybe he just didn't . . . measure up . . . to the job.
 
2014-03-30 10:22:39 AM

honk: The guy's still unemployed?

Maybe he just didn't . . . measure up . . . to the job.


i184.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-30 11:02:20 AM

honk: The guy's still unemployed?

Maybe he just didn't . . . measure up . . . to the job.


Are you saying he was was left hanging??
 
2014-03-30 11:03:18 AM
ITT: guys who have pictures of their own penises on their computers.
 
2014-03-30 01:08:01 PM
Probably had a dick bigger that his future boss.

/which is not difficult
 
2014-03-30 09:45:33 PM
Freddie: [in Swedish, he is posing as a Swedish doctor looking at the mermaid] Hey babe! I got a twelve inch penis!
[he later reveals that this was from a Swedish porn movie he saw]
 
2014-03-30 10:07:56 PM
"Hey Roring, jag har en tums penis."
 
2014-03-31 03:06:45 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-31 09:55:23 AM
Do NOT send UWIE, guys

img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
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