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(The Global Dispatch)   I wore my pants half down my ass, I asked for 30 days vacation and I texted my girlfriend during the interview. Not sure why I didn't get the job   (theglobaldispatch.com) divider line 275
    More: Amusing, staffing firm, college graduate  
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16409 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2014 at 1:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-29 09:55:26 AM  
I'm sure it was because you are gay.

Sue those homophobic bastards!
 
2014-03-29 10:06:08 AM  
Yeah because when I'm interviewing to see if someone would be a good software developer, I care about what they wear.
 
2014-03-29 10:07:14 AM  
I must say-- having been on both sides of the job interview--this asking about salary "taboo" is absolute bullsh*t.

 If you're planning on paying someone to perform a series of tasks for you, and that is the one and only reason the two of you are currently speaking to one another, don't be coy about how much you are going to pay them.  And for f*ck's sake you deserve a cockpunch if you give them sh*t for asking.

If this was actually rooted in any aesthetic or decorum, it would still be retarded.  But the fact is, it's not.  It's just yet another arbitrarily passive aggressive corporate bullsh*t tactic.
 
2014-03-29 10:08:30 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Yeah because when I'm interviewing to see if someone would be a good software developer, I care about what they wear.


if you're a sycophantic middle manager in an industry you don't have any particular passion for, you might.
 
2014-03-29 10:11:23 AM  
Overqualified?
 
2014-03-29 10:17:07 AM  
Missing from list: Be qualified for the position you're applying for.

I once had to hire a radio news reporter/anchor. Advertised in the trades, which one would think would be only read by professionals. Almost two-thirds of the responses were completely unqualified, with nearly a third of them having no journalism or radio experience at all. I'll never forget the one demo tape where the guy mispronounced five of the first fifteen words he read.

Right now I'm taking applications for a summer internship program. So far, all of the responses have been on the whole fairly professional, so I'm hoping for the best. I'll see how it goes when the in-person interviews start next week.
 
2014-03-29 10:17:12 AM  
"I asked for 10 years experience developing Android and iOS apps, expertise in 5 programming languages, 4 middlewares, and 7 different databases, knowledge of our proprietary company software that costs $10k per license, the interviewer drilled the applicant on their familiarity with COBOL and Six Sigma practices, and am offering 30k per year. Not sure why I didn't fill the position."
 
2014-03-29 10:24:54 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Yeah because when I'm interviewing to see if someone would be a good software developer, I care about what they wear.


And posture? I mean some of the complaints are legit but it seems like employers are taking the bad job market as an excuse to be dicks,
 
2014-03-29 10:33:48 AM  

Mugato: And posture? I mean some of the complaints are legit but it seems like employers are taking the bad job market as an excuse to be dicks,


I don't think anyone is expecting an applicant to sit there in a seated version of a soldier at attention, but if the person is slouched halfway down their chair, they're giving a pretty clear indication that they're not particularly engaged in the conversation.
 
2014-03-29 10:33:52 AM  
If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.
 
2014-03-29 10:37:28 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.


Why would you want your door slammed?
 
2014-03-29 10:38:02 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.


That^

/that would actually piss me off
 
2014-03-29 10:39:31 AM  

thamike: Because People in power are Stupid: Yeah because when I'm interviewing to see if someone would be a good software developer, I care about what they wear.

if you're a sycophantic middle manager in an industry you don't have any particular passion for, you might.


His sitting and holding up his middle finger at you the entire interview doesn't tell you much about his skills either.

Look, I'm all for individuality. I happen to think some of the most awesome people have pink hair, nose rings, and a tattoo that snakes down their side. That's not the point. The point isn't that they're conforming with arbitrary codes of decorum and dress. But what it IS telling you is about their decision-making skills. That's why some interviews are conducted over lunch: they want to see your general ability to make appropriate decisions.

A manager doesn't have to JUST worry about the quality of the product. A manager has to be confident their employees aren't stupid enough to bring some pot to smoke on the roof after a long night of coding. (That was not an example pulled out of my ass.)

So, yeah, maybe all you're interested in is their engineering talents. But interviewees are best advised to give the impression they make good decisions in general. Make sure the hair looks good, even if it's pink. Take out the nose ring (if possible) for the interview. Dress to minimize skin exposure and be neat. That signals that you're an individual with a great personality but the wisdom to know when you're in a situation that makes its own demands on you and you're not careless or inflexible.

At work, sport the mohawk and tats all you want. At the interview, show me you have range.
 
2014-03-29 10:40:33 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.

That^

/that would actually piss me off


Preëmption. It makes a door-slam suddenly be YOUR will rather than theirs, and they're not in the mood to comply with your wishes.
 
2014-03-29 10:40:36 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.


I have a hard time believing that actually happens. Maybe one moron did it in an interview for Wal*Mart and the story spread but I don't think most people are that stupid. Maybe I'm naive.
 
2014-03-29 10:40:46 AM  

aimtastic: Mugato: And posture? I mean some of the complaints are legit but it seems like employers are taking the bad job market as an excuse to be dicks,

I don't think anyone is expecting an applicant to sit there in a seated version of a soldier at attention, but if the person is slouched halfway down their chair, they're giving a pretty clear indication that they're not particularly engaged in the conversation.


I worked with this guy who saw men crossing their legs as an act of churlish over-familiarity and a sign of poor upbringing.  I finally convinced him to let me conduct the preliminary interviews.
 
2014-03-29 10:43:23 AM  

Mugato: I have a hard time believing that actually happens. Maybe one moron did it in an interview for Wal*Mart and the story spread but I don't think most people are that stupid. Maybe I'm naive.


I would never even have my phone turned on at the movies, let alone a job interview.  Then again, maybe I'm different.

When was the last time you went to the movies?
 
2014-03-29 10:44:15 AM  

Mugato: Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.

I have a hard time believing that actually happens. Maybe one moron did it in an interview for Wal*Mart and the story spread but I don't think most people are that stupid. Maybe I'm naive.


At my last job, I had a newly hired woman (late 30's, not some clueless kid) sit there dicking around on her phone the entire time I was trying to train her. My boss wouldn't let me fire her yet rode my ass about her poor performance. Fortunately for me, she just stopped showing up after a couple of weeks.
 
2014-03-29 10:54:09 AM  

Mugato: Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.

I have a hard time believing that actually happens. Maybe one moron did it in an interview for Wal*Mart and the story spread but I don't think most people are that stupid. Maybe I'm naive.


FTA: checking phone/texting (30 percent),

Granted, checking the phone is less egregious but seriously, just leave the phone off and out of your hand for 30 minutes, at least PRETEND you can get along with others.
 
2014-03-29 10:56:51 AM  

thamike: Why would you want your door slammed?


They say nothing is obscure on Fark.
 
2014-03-29 11:31:57 AM  
Here is the thing.  If you want the job, you need to sell yourself.  YOU.  It isn't the employer's job to make you look good.  Your job is to do that.

"The hardest job you will ever have is looking for a job."  Its not just a saying.

And when the employer can pick between 10 equally qualified people on paper, don't be surprised if they pick the one that showed up dressed nice, and willing to engage in questions and answers, and who acted like they wanted to be there.
 
2014-03-29 11:39:34 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: thamike: Why would you want your door slammed?

They say nothing is obscure on Fark.

You

read Bloom County?  What are you, a masochist?
 
2014-03-29 11:42:47 AM  

Mugato: Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.

I have a hard time believing that actually happens. Maybe one moron did it in an interview for Wal*Mart and the story spread but I don't think most people are that stupid. Maybe I'm naive.


I have a friend who was interviewing a woman and her phone rang. And she actually answered it: "This better be death threatening!" She also used the word "flusterated".

It wasn't Walmart, but pretty much that level of position.
 
2014-03-29 11:43:23 AM  
At a prior company I worked for, we were trying to hire 3 positions for entry level technical writing with on the job training and cert program, which after a 3-6 month PAID internship, with benefits (~$40K a year) would spin out to a guaranteed salaried position at either our help desk, professional services team, project management, sales, engineering, etc. with a base salary of $~65K per year with full benefits.

My boss, who was doing the hiring is friends with the head of the Computer Science department at George Mason University, and he's friends with a few professors too.  My boss went to a few classes that were 100% seniors, I want to say this was in March/April...basically it was "send me an email if you are interested and we will work with you from there...here is what we do...leading IT and VMware partner in NoVa/DC Metro Area, etc...we will make our decisions very quickly and we can hire immediately.  We are not requiring a full 40 hours from you until after you graduate, perhaps even take a well needed vacation after graduation...we plan on having everyone fully ramped by the end of June..."

Out of ~300 or so students he presented to, he got about 30 responses.  Not bad right?

My boss emailed everyone and asked for a resume, if they did not have one...no biggie, just a organized rundown of relevant classes they have taken, how they would be of value to the position, etc.

He got about 20 responses.  Not bad.

He then asked about 15 to send him a write up on "What is cloud computing/what does "the cloud" mean to you?"  A nice softball question, really no wrong or right answer...more to see their writing abilities.

He did not get back a single response.  Not one.

Farking amazing.  A well paying job directly out of college, with a guaranteed ramp/raise period.  Farking idiots.
 
2014-03-29 11:44:04 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: thamike: Why would you want your door slammed?

They say nothing is obscure on Fark.


That is one of my favorite Bloom County strips ever. I especially like the last frame--invoking the 'Diva' image.
 
2014-03-29 11:46:28 AM  

thamike: I must say-- having been on both sides of the job interview--this asking about salary "taboo" is absolute bullsh*t.

 If you're planning on paying someone to perform a series of tasks for you, and that is the one and only reason the two of you are currently speaking to one another, don't be coy about how much you are going to pay them.  And for f*ck's sake you deserve a cockpunch if you give them sh*t for asking.

If this was actually rooted in any aesthetic or decorum, it would still be retarded.  But the fact is, it's not.  It's just yet another arbitrarily passive aggressive corporate bullsh*t tactic.


With my current job, I was very specific right out the gate with needing to know what the base salary and comp structure looked like.  Seriously, after we exchanged pleasantries for a moment after first meeting eachother face to face, I straight up asked about money...obviously I was not bullish about it, but I was clear that I was not interested in wasting my or his time if the pay was going to be shait.

I am very happy with my comp plan
 
2014-03-29 11:47:31 AM  
HR--"What do you consider your biggest drawback?"
Applicant--"I'm too honest."
HR--"I don't think that's a drawback."
Applicant--"I don't give a flying fu*k what you think."
 
2014-03-29 11:58:56 AM  
1) asking for additional time is great on both ends. You get time off (two weeks? Eff that noise) and the employer doesn't have to pay more.

2) I was being interviewed and had my phone on silent when it started going off with noise. After the second time that happened I had to take it out to figure out WTF was going on. Verizon had just activated their weather alert system to tell me there was a thunderstorm.

/didn't get the Job
//wasn't sure I wanted it anyway
///job I did end up with offered two weeks, I countered with three and they met it.
 
2014-03-29 12:04:21 PM  

Somacandra: Dancin_In_Anson: thamike: Why would you want your door slammed?

They say nothing is obscure on Fark.

That is one of my favorite Bloom County strips ever. I especially like the last frame--invoking the 'Diva' image.


I totally forgot that.

/Prefer the original Steve Dallas.
 
2014-03-29 12:20:39 PM  

vygramul: At work, sport the mohawk and tats all you want. At the interview, show me you have range.


Meh, all new hires have a probationary period. If they are all that in the interview and I mean acting so good that they take a call from a recruiter and didn't shower prior to showing up, then lets dump some work on them and see how well they do. If they can't do the work -goodbyesville.
 
2014-03-29 12:22:00 PM  

Endive Wombat: At a prior company I worked for, we were trying to hire 3 positions for entry level technical writing with on the job training and cert program, which after a 3-6 month PAID internship, with benefits (~$40K a year) would spin out to a guaranteed salaried position at either our help desk, professional services team, project management, sales, engineering, etc. with a base salary of $~65K per year with full benefits.

My boss, who was doing the hiring is friends with the head of the Computer Science department at George Mason University, and he's friends with a few professors too.  My boss went to a few classes that were 100% seniors, I want to say this was in March/April...basically it was "send me an email if you are interested and we will work with you from there...here is what we do...leading IT and VMware partner in NoVa/DC Metro Area, etc...we will make our decisions very quickly and we can hire immediately.  We are not requiring a full 40 hours from you until after you graduate, perhaps even take a well needed vacation after graduation...we plan on having everyone fully ramped by the end of June..."

Out of ~300 or so students he presented to, he got about 30 responses.  Not bad right?

My boss emailed everyone and asked for a resume, if they did not have one...no biggie, just a organized rundown of relevant classes they have taken, how they would be of value to the position, etc.

He got about 20 responses.  Not bad.

He then asked about 15 to send him a write up on "What is cloud computing/what does "the cloud" mean to you?"  A nice softball question, really no wrong or right answer...more to see their writing abilities.

He did not get back a single response.  Not one.

Farking amazing.  A well paying job directly out of college, with a guaranteed ramp/raise period.  Farking idiots.


Job still open?
 
2014-03-29 12:47:15 PM  
Get interns from FIT, Pratt and SVA, Have done so for many years, much better that the 'daddy get me a job' types. I recommend they be hired a lot more too.
 
2014-03-29 01:21:55 PM  
I interview for my job every day. I wake up, look in the mirror and say, "Do you feel like going to work today?" Sometimes I hire me, sometimes I send me back to bed.
 
2014-03-29 01:24:37 PM  

Endive Wombat: At a prior company I worked for, we were trying to hire 3 positions for entry level technical writing with on the job training and cert program, which after a 3-6 month PAID internship, with benefits (~$40K a year) would spin out to a guaranteed salaried position at either our help desk, professional services team, project management, sales, engineering, etc. with a base salary of $~65K per year with full benefits.

My boss, who was doing the hiring is friends with the head of the Computer Science department at George Mason University, and he's friends with a few professors too.  My boss went to a few classes that were 100% seniors, I want to say this was in March/April...basically it was "send me an email if you are interested and we will work with you from there...here is what we do...leading IT and VMware partner in NoVa/DC Metro Area, etc...we will make our decisions very quickly and we can hire immediately.  We are not requiring a full 40 hours from you until after you graduate, perhaps even take a well needed vacation after graduation...we plan on having everyone fully ramped by the end of June..."

Out of ~300 or so students he presented to, he got about 30 responses.  Not bad right?

My boss emailed everyone and asked for a resume, if they did not have one...no biggie, just a organized rundown of relevant classes they have taken, how they would be of value to the position, etc.

He got about 20 responses.  Not bad.

He then asked about 15 to send him a write up on "What is cloud computing/what does "the cloud" mean to you?"  A nice softball question, really no wrong or right answer...more to see their writing abilities.

He did not get back a single response.  Not one.

Farking amazing.  A well paying job directly out of college, with a guaranteed ramp/raise period.  Farking idiots.


You were offering CS majors 40K to live in NoVa/DC. Your former manager was trying to hire on the cheap and they probably got better offers.
 
2014-03-29 01:29:09 PM  

thamike: When was the last time you went to the movies?


I go to a lot of movies actually and people are usually well behaved. The worst cell phone users and texters are old people.
 
2014-03-29 01:34:19 PM  
How about we stop blaming the people who are suffering for macroeconomic trends? How about that, you self-righteous assholes?
 
2014-03-29 01:46:40 PM  
 
2014-03-29 01:47:11 PM  

Mugato: thamike: When was the last time you went to the movies?

I go to a lot of movies actually and people are usually well behaved. The worst cell phone users and texters are old people.


I agree with you, the young woman that I watched at 40th and Lex in NYC yesterday that was carrying a baby and walking straight across the street at a red light without even noticing anything would agree. Maybe she needs a text message sent LOL!!!

All the cars had to stop and do a WTF.
 
2014-03-29 01:49:07 PM  

DamnYankees: How about we stop blaming the people who are suffering for macroeconomic trends? How about that, you self-righteous assholes?


www.quickmeme.com
But you still have a smart phone to text on ?

I bet you even have a refrigerator.
 
2014-03-29 01:51:24 PM  
www.omniagroup.com
 
2014-03-29 01:52:35 PM  

dustman81: You were offering CS majors 40K to live in NoVa/DC. Your former manager was trying to hire on the cheap and they probably got better offers.


This. Sadly, CS majors are in high demand, and you were underpaying. There are paid internships for CS majors that pay more than that.
 
2014-03-29 01:53:10 PM  

Mugato: Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.

I have a hard time believing that actually happens. Maybe one moron did it in an interview for Wal*Mart and the story spread but I don't think most people are that stupid. Maybe I'm naive.


Years ago I read an article about a similar subject and the tech boom from the late nineties.  Many applicants fresh out of college with basic coding skills were pretty arrogant (and why not since they were being offered eyeroll-inducing salaries of $60K+ before the crash) that one kid leaned back and put his feet on the desk of the interviewer.
 
2014-03-29 01:54:10 PM  
I'm not even kidding, I had a recruiter tell me I was overqualified and underqualified at the same time for a job.  How is that even possible?  The people interviewing for jobs are only half the problem.
 
2014-03-29 01:55:37 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Yeah because when I'm interviewing to see if someone would be a good software developer, I care about what they wear.


How you dress is an indicator of self-respect -- note the use of "indicator" -- how you treat yourself is often correlated with how you treat others.

We've devolved into a narcissistic country of overgrown sloppily-dressed children looking for surrogate parents at their workplace.

Feed me, rub my back, give me toys.

JFC I hate millennials.
 
2014-03-29 01:55:46 PM  

dustman81: You were offering CS majors 40K to live in NoVa/DC. Your former manager was trying to hire on the cheap and they probably got better offers.


Also: trying to hire CS majors to be tech writers. Optimism is not warranted here.
 
2014-03-29 01:55:46 PM  

Memes Ate My Balls: I'm not even kidding, I had a recruiter tell me I was overqualified and underqualified at the same time for a job.  How is that even possible?  The people interviewing for jobs are only half the problem.


yep...
 
2014-03-29 01:56:08 PM  
Overly agressive about time off and salary?

Translation: wevexpect them to just accept whatever we offer.

How about no. Its NOT just about what a worker can do for the company...it is ALSO about how well the company will compensate for time and talent.

Ive actually laughed at HR managers before when they gave their absolutely rediculously low salary offer...as in insultingly low condidering my profession. I told one of them "There is no way I'd even consider a job that paid so little for what I do. In fact, I wouldnt have bothered to fill out an application or show up for this "interview" if I would have known. I work for absolutely no less than (stated amount) per hour considering my qualifications, experience, and expertise."

She stated "That is what our pay scale is according to our market research."

"Well...I appreciate your consideration, but I think I will decline."

Two weeks later, they called and offered what I asked for, but I had already accepted another job that offered 20% over what I expected.

Companies think they can low-ball, and people are so desperate that they will just accept the lower wages.
 
2014-03-29 01:56:25 PM  

Somacandra: That is one of my favorite Bloom County strips ever.


There are a few that left a lasting impression on me. That is a classic, isn't it?

thamike: You read Bloom County? What are you, a masochist?


It was my favorite strip from the day it was first published. In fact when I moved to Chattanooga in the early 80's the Free Depressed had one of the shiattiest comics sections known to man*. My Dad would send me the Houston Post comics sections once a week...Bloom County was the main reason I asked him to do that.


*not quite as bad as the Lubbock Avalanche Journal but close
 
2014-03-29 01:56:36 PM  
I just got off a phone interview with a major nationwide company.. Don't you know the person doing the interview was at home with her kids in the background making noise and distracting her.
 
2014-03-29 01:57:56 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: If I was conducting an interview and someone even THOUGHT about texting, I'd stop the interview, send him or her  off immediately and tell him or her to slam the door on their way out.


It's bad enough even after someone's been hired...you're lucky if you can catch them being that stupid during the interview.   Nothing annoys me, and more importantly, my clients, than having someone at a meeting completely absorbed in their phones.
 
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