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(WTKR)   Not that it will ever be a risk for most of you Farkers, but the average wedding bill just hit a record $30,000   (wtkr.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, rehearsal dinner  
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1534 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2014 at 12:16 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-29 09:59:20 AM  
You dads, just put that $30,000 in trust fund with an indexed mutual fund, and fix it to release to her at age 62. Retirement worries solved.

Say she's 22 when she gets married and you can get an 8% annual return (not an unreasonable target), she'd have over $650,000.

Maybe you can't retire on that then but it'll be a lot more useful than the big wedding she had with her first husband.
 
2014-03-29 10:10:05 AM  
Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.
 
2014-03-29 10:11:05 AM  
That average is arrived at with one Wall Street princess costing $300,000 against nine poor couples renting out a fire hall.
 
2014-03-29 10:56:01 AM  

Mugato: Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.


There is nothing more gauche than a cash bar at a wedding reception. I haven't seen that phenomenon at a wedding since I moved to New Orleans, though. I've seen champagne served at baby showers here.
 
2014-03-29 12:02:32 PM  
ITT: Farkers competing for who had the more modest wedding
 
2014-03-29 12:19:34 PM  
That is because guys like me will never get married.  If I did, the bill would be little more than the cost of the license and minister's time.
 
2014-03-29 12:22:32 PM  
Had my grandfather, who was a JOP, marry us in my grandmother's yard. It was quick and very intimate. Everyone in the family still talks about it being their favorite wedding to attend. Was pretty much just a potluck gathering.
 
2014-03-29 12:22:33 PM  
I got married last August. Total cost for everything was probably 18k. More expensive than it could have been, but it was a hell of a day.

People I know who went down to the courthouse or did something more low key often seem a little miffed about their wedding experience. It should be a farking big party, so throw a farking big party.

My two cents. I'm sure someone in this thread threw a massive shindig with only ten dollars and a bag of magic beans. They're like Jesus feeding five thousand people with a pair of fish, only with a six pack of Keystone Light and a Costco vegetable platter.
 
2014-03-29 12:22:44 PM  

Mugato: Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.


Invite me! I don't care about the hot bridesmaids.  Open bar mandatory, though.


I am pleased to note that I seem to have somehow saved $29,950 on my wedding.
I wonder what I subsequently spent it on.

/probably food and houses and motorcycles and stuff.
 
2014-03-29 12:23:01 PM  

rev. dave: That is because guys like me will never get married.  If I did, the bill would be little more than the cost of the license and minister's time.


^This

Great reverends think alike.
 
2014-03-29 12:24:07 PM  

pxlboy: ITT: Farkers competing for who had the more modest wedding


16.5 years and the wedding cost < $5K with dresses, flowers, officiating crew, 4-piece quartet, venue, catering...the works.

So far I'm at $303.03/year.  Not bad.
 
2014-03-29 12:24:09 PM  
$15,000 for a winery wedding in central Virginia. On a Saturday. Average cost for a winery wedding here is $50,000. Honestly, we got a farking steal. One of the wineries around here starts with a $10,000 rental fee and you have to use their caterer, and options start at $15,000. You're out 25 grand before you pick the color theme.

We did on-site BBQ and had an open bar. Being that it was a winery, most people drank wine. Total bar cost was <$1000 for 65 people. Food was the biggest cost, but it was amazing. Pulled pork, smoked ribs, chicken, mac & cheese, slaw...

Yeah, we did our wedding right.
 
2014-03-29 12:24:25 PM  
Spent $1000 on my wedding.  It was beautiful, at a lovely location, everyone had a lot of fun, etc.  You can budget a wedding if you're dedicated to it.
 
2014-03-29 12:25:08 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: That average is arrived at with one Wall Street princess costing $300,000 against nine poor couples renting out a fire hall.


We were so poor we could only rent a fire hydrant.
 
2014-03-29 12:26:38 PM  

Nabb1: Mugato: Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.

There is nothing more gauche than a cash bar at a wedding reception. I haven't seen that phenomenon at a wedding since I moved to New Orleans, though. I've seen champagne served at baby showers here.


It's not so much as money saving mechanism as it is a release from liability.  If you're paying for all the booze you drink you can't turn around and sue the newly married couple for liability when your drunk ass kills someone on the way home.  At that point it's between you and the bartender that over-served you, just like any other bar situation.
 
2014-03-29 12:26:57 PM  
$35 at the courthouse.

And we got a cheap bottle of Champagne from the judge.
 
2014-03-29 12:28:09 PM  
Wife and I decided to do the "destination" wedding...sorta.  We knew some people in Hawaii so we did a very small wedding (immediate family) there.  Few months later we had a more informal get together with friends and family at an outdoor park.  Altogether we probably spent $10k but most of that was the trip to Hawaii / honeymoon; probably only $2k or so for the get together.
 
2014-03-29 12:28:12 PM  

Reverend J: rev. dave: That is because guys like me will never get married.  If I did, the bill would be little more than the cost of the license and minister's time.

^This

Great reverends think alike.


I did. It was $300 for the JP and license. 7 years and still going. We could have gone crazy, but what would the point be?

One of the guys who works for me is about to get married. His wife wants the big wedding and is bordering on "bridezilla". They're looking at $10k at least. I know he makes $35k a year and his wife is unemployed, plus I know their parents are paying. I just don't get it.
 
2014-03-29 12:29:09 PM  
People around here used to have some wedding receptions, but since the recession there that has stopped.

Just getting married by a JP.

If you have 30k to spend on a party then good for you.    But then don't biatch about the price of gas, homes or healthcare or your college.
 
2014-03-29 12:30:23 PM  
Where people waste money is on the stupid dress that you will never wear again. There's no reason to spend more than $5k - $10k; you can throw a heck of a party for that kind of money in a decent venue. If you're rich, sure, have a full dinner and a band, but if you're not, a DJ and heavy hors d'ouevres is just as fun.
 
2014-03-29 12:30:49 PM  
I knew there was a reason I'm still single.

/Spending $30k on a wedding is perhaps the single biggest waste of money in the history of the universe
//Except maybe Miguel Cabrera's new contract
 
2014-03-29 12:31:27 PM  
We rented out the party room at our local bar for a few hours; that was it. The wedding itself was held at a public park on the river, and my sister did the ceremony. Not bad for unemployment.
 
2014-03-29 12:33:16 PM  

taliesinwi: Nabb1: Mugato: Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.

There is nothing more gauche than a cash bar at a wedding reception. I haven't seen that phenomenon at a wedding since I moved to New Orleans, though. I've seen champagne served at baby showers here.

It's not so much as money saving mechanism as it is a release from liability.  If you're paying for all the booze you drink you can't turn around and sue the newly married couple for liability when your drunk ass kills someone on the way home.  At that point it's between you and the bartender that over-served you, just like any other bar situation.


The "I'm scared of liability" is the lamest excuse of all. You use that excuse if you're paranoid about something that's almost certainly not going to happen to you, or if you're just a cheapskate looking for an out. Seriously, people like that shouldn't be allowed to host a party, ever.
 
2014-03-29 12:34:02 PM  
$30K just so the women can have a day where they're princesses.  The money is much better spent on a down payment for a home.  But just like Valentine's day, weddings are a commercial driven function led by women but paid for by men.  It's all bullshiat in the end anyways.  Enjoy your Day!
 
2014-03-29 12:34:58 PM  
what are you going on about?  there are like 14 states that will marry farkers, subby.
 
2014-03-29 12:35:39 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: That average is arrived at with one Wall Street princess costing $300,000 against nine poor couples renting out a fire hall.


This, kinda. What's the median wedding cost? I suspect the distribution looks like a 
Gamma distribution with a peak below $30k but with a ling tail to the right...
 
2014-03-29 12:36:44 PM  
Why do people bother spending so much? They'll probably be in the 50 percent or whatever who get divorced anyway.

/eternally single
//blew over 30k on school which I guess isn't that much smarter...
 
2014-03-29 12:37:01 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: That average is arrived at with one Wall Street princess costing $300,000 against nine poor couples renting out a fire hall.


Kardashians are skewing the numbers.

What's the median cost, including the Las Vegas Quicky, the Shotgun, and the Babby-Daddy's In Jail So Let's Get Married For Benefits?
 
2014-03-29 12:38:42 PM  

Creoena: I knew there was a reason I'm still single.

/Spending $30k on a wedding is perhaps the single biggest waste of money in the history of the universe
//Except maybe Miguel Cabrera's new contract

///Soon, there won't be any 'hitting it' in either case.
 
2014-03-29 12:39:14 PM  
Eh, going into debt for a wedding is stupid, but if you can afford to throw a big party, why not?  I just went to a black tie wedding in February and it was fantastic, not to mention one of the few opportunities to dress up and meet up with all our old friends from out of town.

Also, these wedding averages usually include the rings, honeymoon, etc.
 
2014-03-29 12:39:15 PM  
Vegas - $700 for 3 days including airfare. No fuss, no drama. Honeymoon in New Orleans with friends - $1200 for 4 days of good times and exquisite food with 4 other people we really give a damn about. No debt, great memories, better photos and no drama. Still enough cash to actually buy a home & whatnot later. It's the marriage not the wedding that matters.
 
2014-03-29 12:41:03 PM  
Cousin got married last fall. She and her husband had a small intimate ceremony with their immediate families, then had a big informal ceremony with everybody else a day ot so later at our aunt and uncle' place on the water.

Total nut for the wedding: $10,000. One of the most fun I'd ever attended.

If the lady and I ever get hitched, we are doing something similar. No $35K Cinderella bullshiat. A simple and quick ceremony and a big BBQ.
 
2014-03-29 12:41:46 PM  
Wedding website surveys are renowned for their accuracy.
 
2014-03-29 12:43:15 PM  

Man_Without_A_Hat: People I know who went down to the courthouse or did something more low key often seem a little miffed about their wedding experience. It should be a farking big party, so throw a farking big party.


It should be a farking big party if that's what you and your spouse want and can afford. Lots of folks don't want that. Others want a big party, but understand that you don't need a $600 cake, a $8,000 facility, a $3,000 photographer, and $25/ea customized napkins.

//Made up numbers, but you get the idea.
 
2014-03-29 12:45:50 PM  

sugardave: pxlboy: ITT: Farkers competing for who had the more modest wedding

16.5 years and the wedding cost < $5K with dresses, flowers, officiating crew, 4-piece quartet, venue, catering...the works.

So far I'm at $303.03/year.  Not bad.


You're still well behind. I went to Idaho (no waiting period), paid $50 at The Hitching Post, and $300 for the party that weekend. Total; done,done, and done. 'Course it was my third marriage, and her second, so we avoided the repeats 'cause we knew they didn't work.

/still at it
//surviving cancer (hers)
 
2014-03-29 12:46:47 PM  
Eloped to Vegas. $4,000 trip in total. Totally worth it.
 
2014-03-29 12:47:00 PM  
I know my family and future inlaws, that's why I'm not having an open bar. Gonna be able to get everything for about $12k, open bar would have doubled that. Since we're paying for it ourselves we opted for the cash bar.
 
2014-03-29 12:47:03 PM  

Nabb1: Mugato: Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.

There is nothing more gauche than a cash bar at a wedding reception. I haven't seen that phenomenon at a wedding since I moved to New Orleans, though. I've seen champagne served at baby showers here.


NO is Catholic culture. Booze is a Jesus approved vice and we take that shiat seriously. Get into Baptist country and things dry up really fast.
 
2014-03-29 12:48:44 PM  
Had about 100 people in the outdoor patio of a restaurant. Great food, free wine and beer with a full cash bar, and dancing for hours. As we were walking out one of the servers ran up to me holding the bill. Kind of odd to have to pay $11,000 on the spot.

Anyway, some people spend a lot of time and money on the wedding to make it a lifelong memory. Our friends still talk about ours. It's more about attitude than money though. We'd been together for years before we were married so the wedding was, from the start, just a good excuse for a big fun night to celebrate with our friends.
 
2014-03-29 12:51:54 PM  

optimistic_cynic: I know my family and future inlaws, that's why I'm not having an open bar. Gonna be able to get everything for about $12k, open bar would have doubled that. Since we're paying for it ourselves we opted for the cash bar.


Unless youre keeping it open all week, an open bar shouldnt cost 12k
 
2014-03-29 12:51:55 PM  
Spent $35k on my wedding (a year ago tomorrow) at a historic hotel in Massachusetts. Money was tight for the year leading up to it, but it was one hell of a party (open bar of course).

It was worth it for us, but it's not for everyone.
 
2014-03-29 12:54:21 PM  

GodlikeMole: Spent $35k on my wedding (a year ago tomorrow) at a historic hotel in Massachusetts. Money was tight for the year leading up to it, but it was one hell of a party (open bar of course).

It was worth it for us, but it's not for everyone.


*whip sfx*
 
2014-03-29 12:55:38 PM  

TheOther: GodlikeMole: Spent $35k on my wedding (a year ago tomorrow) at a historic hotel in Massachusetts. Money was tight for the year leading up to it, but it was one hell of a party (open bar of course).

It was worth it for us, but it's not for everyone.

*whip sfx*


Shhhh she might be reading this.
 
2014-03-29 12:57:51 PM  
With music, drinks, venue, cake, catering, flowers, two dresses for me, two tuxedos for him, ours came out at a little over a grand.

Just what the hell do you expect us to spend that extra $28,000 on??
 
2014-03-29 12:58:15 PM  

Mugato: Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.


Or it's in a location people might be interested in going to anyway...

upload.wikimedia.org

/Our wedding there was surprisingly inexpensive.
 
2014-03-29 12:59:39 PM  
I guess they never been to a Long Island wedding.
 
2014-03-29 01:00:45 PM  

LazyMedia: Where people waste money is on the stupid dress that you will never wear again. There's no reason to spend more than $5k - $10k; you can throw a heck of a party for that kind of money in a decent venue. If you're rich, sure, have a full dinner and a band, but if you're not, a DJ and heavy hors d'ouevres is just as fun.


This. There's no need to spend $10,000 on a damn dress.

shiat, mine are going to be off the rack prom dresses. And not a single person attending will call me out on it, because they'll be too busy eating cake and drinking wine.
 
2014-03-29 01:01:57 PM  
For 30,000 they better suck and fark you for life. Get a prenup.
 
2014-03-29 01:02:42 PM  

LandOfChocolate: optimistic_cynic: I know my family and future inlaws, that's why I'm not having an open bar. Gonna be able to get everything for about $12k, open bar would have doubled that. Since we're paying for it ourselves we opted for the cash bar.

Unless youre keeping it open all week, an open bar shouldnt cost 12k


Again, I know my family. lol
 
2014-03-29 01:07:02 PM  

Mikeyworld: sugardave: pxlboy: ITT: Farkers competing for who had the more modest wedding

16.5 years and the wedding cost < $5K with dresses, flowers, officiating crew, 4-piece quartet, venue, catering...the works.

So far I'm at $303.03/year.  Not bad.

You're still well behind. I went to Idaho (no waiting period), paid $50 at The Hitching Post, and $300 for the party that weekend. Total; done,done, and done. 'Course it was my third marriage, and her second, so we avoided the repeats 'cause we knew they didn't work.

/still at it
//surviving cancer (hers)


Yeah, but what is the number when you factor in the other two weddings?  I'm still on my first wife!

/beat the cancer
//BEAT IT
 
2014-03-29 01:09:04 PM  
I got married in 1966 with $100 bucks, blogged about it a few years ago here:

http://www.global-air.com/global/editorial_060808.htm

It was June 25, 1966, the 90th anniversary of Custer's Last Stand, which I thought was appropriate, we had about 100 guests at the reception in the Catholic school basement, catering was a $1.25 a head, and the fancy gift box for guests to put in their cards with checks and cash totaled a whopping $47.50, some gave $2 and brought a date.  A family that were friends of my new in-laws brought their 8 kids and gave us a bath towel. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that it was new.

I blogged about it a few years ago here: http://www.global-air.com/global/editorial_060808.htm

This will be our 48th anniversary in 2014, 9 kids, 15 grandchildren, retired and living the dream in our 30' motorhome. It's been a great ride, and my wife is as pretty as the day we married. She says I need new glasses.
 
2014-03-29 01:11:53 PM  
Well, you can see I'm going senile, mentioned my blog TWICE.  Good thing I don't have Alzheimers.  And another thing, good thing I don't have Alzheimers.
 
2014-03-29 01:14:49 PM  
Both my weddings together total less then $2000 and both of them were memorable and i wouldn't do it any other way. The first was with the JOP in a historic Hanover Virginia Courthouse and the second was in Las Vegas.

The second was both of our second marriages and she had the full blown $30k wedding the first time and enjoyed our casual low key Vegas wedding better.
 
2014-03-29 01:17:08 PM  
Naked before God and the Universe for free, but you try to throw a party, it's gonna cost ya.
 
2014-03-29 01:20:26 PM  
DRTFA but isn't it possible all the celebrity millions-of-dollars weddings (or rich in general) throw off what the average is?
Unless their average is based off what an average person spends, I don't buy it.
 
2014-03-29 01:21:33 PM  
Wife-to-be took Friday off, went to the doctor in the morning for her blood test. (This was in Montana, where that was still required.) I took the afternoon off and we drove to the county seat 50 miles away and bought a marriage license for $35. However, the judge didn't work on Fridays, so there was no one there who could marry us. The clerk suggested going over the mountain to the next county and getting married in Bozeman, which is a bigger city and has judges who work Fridays.

Well, we were planning on going to Bozeman anyway, because they had a Hastings and we needed new video games. When we got to the courthouse, they said yes, their judges work Fridays, but not in the courthouse; they drive around to the smaller towns in the county to give them a weekly dose of judging. Maybe we could catch up with one of them at a little town.

Drove to the closest small town, but the visiting judge had just left. However, the city judge was hanging out next door at the coffee shop, so the clerk ran and got him. He was a nice old man and was happy to do it. They asked where our two witnesses were; we hadn't brought any. The judge said, well, we have two prisoners here in the city jail who aren't going anywhere, so we could get them. But just then the clerk stuck her head out the front door to see if she knew anyone passing by who could witness. A police car was driving by, so she waved them over and two cops came in to be our witnesses.

Then the nice old judge gave us a sappy speech and married us in city hall, with a giant freaking elk head staring at us from the wall. After it was over we had our honeymoon at Hastings and bought some video games. Still married 17 years later.
 
2014-03-29 01:21:45 PM  
Our daughter's wedding was around 1/3 of that. We had  a string quartet, a reception at an art museum, cases of vino, 2 cakes, and food from one of the city's best restaurants. And one of the world's most annoying photographers. (Against lots of competition.) Aside from inviting half the city, I don't know what we could have done to have spent more.  Oh, yeah, And we put up her aunt and cousins from California in a great B&B.And the bride's dress was an antique that we had re-tailored for her daintier figure. People must be flushing money down the toilet and then screaming in delight as it circles the bowl.
 
2014-03-29 01:21:55 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: LazyMedia: Where people waste money is on the stupid dress that you will never wear again. There's no reason to spend more than $5k - $10k; you can throw a heck of a party for that kind of money in a decent venue. If you're rich, sure, have a full dinner and a band, but if you're not, a DJ and heavy hors d'ouevres is just as fun.

This. There's no need to spend $10,000 on a damn dress.

shiat, mine are going to be off the rack prom dresses. And not a single person attending will call me out on it, because they'll be too busy eating cake and drinking wine.


We spent just under $10k on everything for our wedding (including wedding bands and honeymoon).  We didn't have alcohol because where I'm from, it's not common.  My cousin and aunt went next door and bought a few beers, but it wasn't a big deal.  We had a fun time and we didn't go into debt doing it.  I don't get why anyone would want to go deep into debt for a wedding.
 
2014-03-29 01:27:11 PM  

bborchar: The My Little Pony Killer: LazyMedia: Where people waste money is on the stupid dress that you will never wear again. There's no reason to spend more than $5k - $10k; you can throw a heck of a party for that kind of money in a decent venue. If you're rich, sure, have a full dinner and a band, but if you're not, a DJ and heavy hors d'ouevres is just as fun.

This. There's no need to spend $10,000 on a damn dress.

shiat, mine are going to be off the rack prom dresses. And not a single person attending will call me out on it, because they'll be too busy eating cake and drinking wine.

We spent just under $10k on everything for our wedding (including wedding bands and honeymoon).  We didn't have alcohol because where I'm from, it's not common.  My cousin and aunt went next door and bought a few beers, but it wasn't a big deal.  We had a fun time and we didn't go into debt doing it.  I don't get why anyone would want to go deep into debt for a wedding.


I don't get why anybody would go into the triple digits for a party. Our wedding bands and my engagement ring were about $200 combined.

What I don't understand is why people wouldn't want to use all that extra money on something that is actually useful to them, like a down payment on a home or something.
 
2014-03-29 01:31:19 PM  
What was the modal wedding cost, subby? Also, what was the standard deviation of the average? It would give far more insight into the real costs of a wedding than just an average.
 
2014-03-29 01:38:15 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: bborchar: The My Little Pony Killer: LazyMedia: Where people waste money is on the stupid dress that you will never wear again. There's no reason to spend more than $5k - $10k; you can throw a heck of a party for that kind of money in a decent venue. If you're rich, sure, have a full dinner and a band, but if you're not, a DJ and heavy hors d'ouevres is just as fun.

This. There's no need to spend $10,000 on a damn dress.

shiat, mine are going to be off the rack prom dresses. And not a single person attending will call me out on it, because they'll be too busy eating cake and drinking wine.

We spent just under $10k on everything for our wedding (including wedding bands and honeymoon).  We didn't have alcohol because where I'm from, it's not common.  My cousin and aunt went next door and bought a few beers, but it wasn't a big deal.  We had a fun time and we didn't go into debt doing it.  I don't get why anyone would want to go deep into debt for a wedding.

I don't get why anybody would go into the triple digits for a party. Our wedding bands and my engagement ring were about $200 combined.

What I don't understand is why people wouldn't want to use all that extra money on something that is actually useful to them, like a down payment on a home or something.


My wedding band was $250 and my husband's was $75.  They kept trying to sell us bands with diamonds in it at several places, so I ended up going to an antique jewelry store and buying them used.  Worked better that way.

The thing that cost us the most was catering, and we had to feed our guests.  My husband's family not only had to drive 4 or 5 hours to get there (we got married where I grew up), but we also had the wedding on a Friday to save money on the hall.  That meant they were all missing working and shelling out for a hotel room...the least I could do was feed them for coming.  We had 48 people there, and even my friends from Tasmania and Paraguay came.

We were still able to put a 30k downpayment on our house a few years later after the housing crash, so it all worked out for the best.
 
2014-03-29 01:38:20 PM  
Because it is worth it!


Wait...uh...no. Wrong joke.
 
2014-03-29 01:43:56 PM  
No idea how much my wedding cost, but I am sure my divorce was a bargain at any price.
 
2014-03-29 01:50:26 PM  
Mine was less than $5,000.

/eloped to Vegas
//won a bunch of money gambling
///hotel upgraded us to an amazing room for free when they found out we were there to get married
////still got more gifts than we registered for
//slashies!!
 
2014-03-29 01:54:48 PM  
Still way cheaper than the divorce
 
2014-03-29 01:58:08 PM  

Drunken_Irish_Joker: Cousin got married last fall. She and her husband had a small intimate ceremony with their immediate families, then had a big informal ceremony phony wedding with everybody else a day ot so later at our aunt and uncle' place on the water.

Total nut for the wedding: $10,000. One of the most fun I'd ever attended.

If the lady and I ever get hitched, we are doing something similar. No $35K Cinderella bullshiat. A simple and quick ceremony and a big BBQ.


FTFY
 
2014-03-29 02:00:14 PM  
Will you still think it was a great deal when your wife divorces your ass and takes half your shiat?

/One of the "got married for the cost of the clerk filing fee" crowd
//Four years on still very happily married!
 
2014-03-29 02:03:06 PM  
I got married last July.  Total cost was around $5,000 and that was $800 for the dresses and tuxedos.  We had a bunch of family friends pull rolls like minister, DJ, caterer, etc.  And that was with close to $100 people attending.  I don't see how people can spend $30,000 on anything unless you can live in it.  Just seems like a waste of money if you ask me.

/Everyone said it was one of the best weddings they had seen
//I don't owe a penny for it today
///Slashy McSlashy
 
2014-03-29 02:12:41 PM  

Nabb1: Mugato: Attention whores. Nobody wants to go to your wedding. Unless there's an open bar and hot bridesmaids.

There is nothing more gauche than a cash bar at a wedding reception. I haven't seen that phenomenon at a wedding since I moved to New Orleans, though. I've seen champagne served at baby showers here.


Oh fark you, you snob.

Got married in '97 at 25 years old.
Her parents are uber religious and while they paid for the wedding, they would not pay for alcohol.
We were just starting out so we couldnt afford a huge bar bill.
I did pay for the beer myself. Ended up being 3 kegs and set me back over $1500.
 
2014-03-29 02:15:04 PM  
NASAM:

Oh fark you, you snob.

Got married in '97 at 25 years old.
Her parents are uber religious and while they paid for the wedding, they would not pay for alcohol.
We were just starting out so we couldnt afford a huge bar bill.
I did pay for the beer myself. Ended up being 3 kegs and set me back over $1500.


Yet you still payed for the alcohol.  (Beer in this case).  There's nothing wrong with only paying for beer, or only paying for beer/bottom shelf, or paying for everything, although some places won't do shots at all.  However, most people would be shocked to not have at least some sort of free booze, which you provided.
 
2014-03-29 02:35:20 PM  
You can get married for whatever the city charges to record it, like ten bucks.
 
2014-03-29 02:48:00 PM  
People have come back and told us that they've never had as much fun as they did at our wedding.  We had:

- Movie references:
   - Bridal party came in to the muppets "Somebody's getting married" song.
   - Friend sang "Rainbow Connection"
   - Officiant opened with "maiwwage... maiwwage is what bwings us togevah today..."
- Around the world travel theme
   - Food was an international mix including bratwursts and kraut, sopes, empanadas, spanikopitas, pulled pork, satay, and to make sure we had America covered, Chicken and Waffles.
   - Each table at the reception was a country.  My wife and I spent months scouring antique stores for stuff from around the world, plus used items we already owned.
   - Invites looked like passports, RSVP cards looked like boarding passes, designer cake like a stack of luggage.

And yes, open bar.  It was managed by the caterer for a set time period.  Wine, beer, margaritas, and they finished the evening off with Kahlua milkshakes.
 
2014-03-29 03:02:30 PM  
So, is it acceptable to have only beer and wine served (open, that is)?

I know my crowd well enough to know that hard alcohol 1) won't be all that popular anyways and 2) those that do like it will get way too farked up on it.
 
2014-03-29 03:11:11 PM  
Honestly, my mother was worse about insisting on a wedding than either my husband or I was, and she was demanding that it be some gloriously overly extravagant event that included invitations for all of HER friends (forget OUR friends)-- which I would of course be paying for. I finally told her she could pay for the wedding she wanted or STFU. I paid for a modest wedding, more than what I really wanted, and I invited the people I wanted to be there along with a few family members. My mother biatches about it to this day.

My brother and his girlfriend got the opportunity to witness all of this and bought a small all-inclusive wedding package at a chapel in Tennessee before even telling her that they were engaged. I think if I could do it all over again, I'd have done the same and either gone the Vegas route or just paid the judge at the courthouse to marry us. Then we'd have had an amazing vacation, and if they wanted a reception, they could pay for it. Seriously, I don't like the whole idea of having to feed everyone I've ever known and more that I haven't just for the "privilege" of marrying a guy I already live and sleep with. And nope. I didn't need the presents, either. Eleven years later, and I still have two boxes of glassware eating up shelf space in my basement.
 
2014-03-29 03:13:21 PM  
It can cost a lot less if you buy the cheapest envelopes.
 
2014-03-29 03:43:31 PM  
My wedding has cost me approximately $550,000 so far. Worst investment of my life.
 
2014-03-29 03:54:53 PM  

not_an_indigo: So, is it acceptable to have only beer and wine served (open, that is)?

I know my crowd well enough to know that hard alcohol 1) won't be all that popular anyways and 2) those that do like it will get way too farked up on it.


It's all up to the individual expectations etc, but I'd say yes, totally.  However, I wouldn't be surprised if most banquet halls would only have a beer/wine/bottom shelf package, vs a just beer/wine package to milk you an extra 2-3 bucks a head.
 
2014-03-29 04:01:00 PM  

skozlaw: $35 at the courthouse.

And we got a cheap bottle of Champagne from the judge.


Really?  That is cheap.  When I was shopping around courthouses, they all wanted like $200.

Ended up finding out my friend it technically a minister and can legally wed.  Cost a total of like $10.44- license and postage to mail it back.
 
2014-03-29 04:06:04 PM  
My friends got married a little over two years ago.  Spent 10k.  Just helped move the girl out of the house a month ago...  Thanks for making me spend about 400$ on your wedding!  No way I would ever do anything more than a party with 100 or so people for a couple thousand dollars total.
 
2014-03-29 04:08:18 PM  
Mine cost me $1200. I guess you get what you pay for.
 
2014-03-29 04:31:57 PM  
Don't know why, but seems appropriate ..

www.hotrodscustomstuff.com
 
2014-03-29 04:38:40 PM  
I'm getting married in June. Our biggest expense will probably be food for the 50 people invited. It cost 350 bucks to rent the reception room at the conference center at the college we graduated from. We're donating the flowers to the small Catholic Church the wedding is in. My parents graciously gifted us the photographer and are throwing the rehearsal dinner at our favorite bar.

We are on the hook for everything else, so we are doing it as frugally as possible. No reason to start our life together with a bunch of debt.

Meanwhile, a friend is getting married the same day and the wife's parents are footing the bill. They sent 13k alone just to rent the venue. You learn to make a lot more compromises when you get the bill in the mail.
 
2014-03-29 04:54:34 PM  
US average: $30,000
Fark average: $29.95

Heck of a crew.
 
2014-03-29 05:37:06 PM  
You should see what Hispanics spend on quinceaneras. It rivals the cost of a wedding. Incredible.
 
2014-03-29 05:37:44 PM  
I just dropped $14K on a wedding last November (includes everything from clothes to rings to hotel to flights) for 110 guests. I wanted to elope, but in the end it was a really good time. We did not go into debt over it, which I would never advise. I think the median expense in the US is actually closer to ~$18K, which is still a shiatload of money.
 
2014-03-29 05:42:22 PM  

planes: I got married in 1966 with $100 bucks, blogged about it a few years ago here:

http://www.global-air.com/global/editorial_060808.htm

It was June 25, 1966, the 90th anniversary of Custer's Last Stand, which I thought was appropriate, we had about 100 guests at the reception in the Catholic school basement, catering was a $1.25 a head, and the fancy gift box for guests to put in their cards with checks and cash totaled a whopping $47.50, some gave $2 and brought a date.  A family that were friends of my new in-laws brought their 8 kids and gave us a bath towel. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that it was new.

I blogged about it a few years ago here: http://www.global-air.com/global/editorial_060808.htm

This will be our 48th anniversary in 2014, 9 kids, 15 grandchildren, retired and living the dream in our 30' motorhome. It's been a great ride, and my wife is as pretty as the day we married. She says I need new glasses.




You should totally take up blogging dude.
 
2014-03-29 05:42:41 PM  
Wow, is that disgusting.
 
2014-03-29 06:17:37 PM  
Ours will likely cost 20-25k when all is said and done, but we are staying within our budget, not going into debt, and it will be a great time.  Winery wedding in Paso Robles, CA (one of our favorite places), fantastic food & open wine/beer bar, got my dress for like $550 off a used wedding dress website, great DJ, and we start the honeymoon winetasting around the valley.  Yes, this is destination, but with the locations of our family and friends worldwide, it was going to be destination for over half the people even if we had it here in DC.  We considered doing something tiny and cheap for a bit, but I have a *huge* extended family and we are all close, so it's important for us to have them with us.  Thankfully, California is pretty central to most people, and the family and friends are excited to spend time in wine country.
 
2014-03-29 08:04:05 PM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Eloped to Vegas. $4,000 trip in total. Totally worth it.


Elopements seem to be the best idea ever. The deed is done while you have a holiday, and all drama involving who gets invited, who does not get invited, or the certain person who cannot be seated next to that other person etc, etc, gets to be totally avoided.
 
A7
2014-03-29 08:56:18 PM  
There ain't a piece of as in the world worth that much!

Do you and your loved one a favor and shack up. It works.
 
2014-03-29 09:43:07 PM  
There must be some crazy-assed outliers to bring the average up that high.  All it takes is a few jerkwads throwing $10 million weddings ($12.5 million with the fines added in) to really skew the average.
 
2014-03-29 10:02:45 PM  
Thats funny, mine was free. I simply didn't pay anyone anything, dressed in the clothes I had, walked down the aisle and got my license. OK so the license cost some money.
 
2014-03-29 10:06:28 PM  

supayoda: Honestly, my mother was worse about insisting on a wedding than either my husband or I was, and she was demanding that it be some gloriously overly extravagant event that included invitations for all of HER friends (forget OUR friends)-- which I would of course be paying for. I finally told her she could pay for the wedding she wanted or STFU.


My ex mother in law was the exact same way. We wanted a small, intimate (close friends and close family members) outdoor wedding at my grandparent's house (huge and beautiful backyard). She insisted that it had to be in her church and that in addition to our guest list, that we invite everyone she's ever worked with, befriended, spoken with in the grocery store, etc.

We finally got disgusted with her demands and biatching and went to the courthouse. She was so upset when we called and told her that she almost broke the handset of her telephone.
 
2014-03-29 10:29:13 PM  
Wife's second my first. I watched Bridezillas with her years before I proposed and swore I'd never let her turn into that or deal with that headache. I told her flat out the location (Miami), the venue (cruise ship), and then what our honey moon would be (Week long cruise.)

In this way I avoided the following:

1. Location rained out: It's a fark'n mega ship, there were 2 rooms if we didn't want to hold it out doors. We picked indoors anyway
2. Catering/food/cake/flowers not showing up: There's 5000 people on the ship, there will be food (or blood). All perishable goods were provided ahead of time.
3. Paster/Bartender/DJ not showing up: Cruise ship=people getting P A I D.  They are there already they have to be onboard, no problems
4. Honeymoon going south: 5 destinations, all exotic, places we've never been
5. People not showing up: I had a handful of people I wanted to be there (Parents, Best Man, Wife/Kid, Siblings) the rest of the people I didn't care if they attended or not. Best part is we have nearly 20 people out of 60 sail with us. That was awesome.
6.  OMG CHOICES!11!!: You have 3 options for nearly everything and that's it. No elaborate cakes with a bajillion options. Chocolate,Vanilla, Mixed. Open Bar, No Bar, Limited bar. Food: Y/N?  Easy


I took away all the pain points, all the choices, all the things I knew would/could go wrong and let the cruise ship handle everything. It was smooth as silk.
 
2014-03-30 01:30:37 AM  

Nidiot: That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Eloped to Vegas. $4,000 trip in total. Totally worth it.

Elopements seem to be the best idea ever. The deed is done while you have a holiday, and all drama involving who gets invited, who does not get invited, or the certain person who cannot be seated next to that other person etc, etc, gets to be totally avoided.


Exactly. We'd been together already for almost 10 years, both families kept having bigger and bigger expectations for some huge epic wedding, and it turned into something we could only dread. We had no idea what we wanted to do, but we knew at that point that it wouldn't be a wedding for us.

Then, one Saturday morning, I found my now-wife sitting at the computer looking at travel sites. Out of the blue, she asked, "Hey, what about just going to Vegas together and coming back married?" It was an idea we'd actually mocked in the past, but at that point it just sounded more perfect the more we looked into it. Booked everything that day, flew out there that Wednesday, and were happily married the following Friday. Nice, private ceremony with an actual priest, then we went back to enjoying what was effectively the first vacation the two of us had ever taken together. Vegas itself was like nothing we'd ever experienced our expected.

Called the families before we headed home and, to our shock, they were nothing but thrilled for us. Threw a party for everyone a few months later so nobody felt excluded / slighted.

Now we actually have money to afford a down payment on a house. The lesson: if a huge, "traditional" wedding doesn't feel right, do whatever DOES feel right. It's YOUR Damn wedding, after all...


/csb
 
2014-03-30 03:18:17 AM  
Did not read TFA.

Wedding license: $50-100

Justice of the Peace or minister you know really well: $50-300 (depending on location)

Stress-free, drama-free wedding without the in-laws (bride's or groom's) telling you what you have to do for your wedding: farking amazing.

Seriously, my wedding was cheaper than my divorce and my pastor's wife paid for it because she took one look at my mother and one look at my ex-husband's mother and said "Girl, this will be a nightmare with those two. You two go get married if that's what you think you want to do (they weren't thrilled about it, but we were adults--pretty sure they threw a party when the divorce happened, hehe) and tell your mothers about it after the fact."
 
2014-03-30 11:17:16 AM  

aevorea: supayoda: Honestly, my mother was worse about insisting on a wedding than either my husband or I was, and she was demanding that it be some gloriously overly extravagant event that included invitations for all of HER friends (forget OUR friends)-- which I would of course be paying for. I finally told her she could pay for the wedding she wanted or STFU.

My ex mother in law was the exact same way. We wanted a small, intimate (close friends and close family members) outdoor wedding at my grandparent's house (huge and beautiful backyard). She insisted that it had to be in her church and that in addition to our guest list, that we invite everyone she's ever worked with, befriended, spoken with in the grocery store, etc.

We finally got disgusted with her demands and biatching and went to the courthouse. She was so upset when we called and told her that she almost broke the handset of her telephone.


That's the added bonus. If I'd managed to do that to my mother I'd have been sure to have someone on hand to film it for me so that I could replay that goodness over and over. Yeah, she pissed me off that much with her antics at the time.
 
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