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(Vocativ)   Realizing that Fred Phelps has passed away, another pastor steps up to promote hate. He claims that "Jesus would stone homos." Subby's not gay, but can't we all just get along?   (vocativ.com) divider line 118
    More: Fail, Fred Phelps, John Wayne Gacy, Michael Sams, Jeffrey Dahmer, baiter, Ku Klux Klan, Jason Collins, David Manning  
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1722 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Mar 2014 at 8:10 AM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-29 12:14:54 AM
everybody must get stoned.
 
2014-03-29 12:57:51 AM
I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.
 
2014-03-29 01:11:17 AM
Every asshole has to have a shtick, doesn't he?
 
2014-03-29 01:22:01 AM

Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.


He never said the second stone cast had to be from a blameless man... just the first.
 
2014-03-29 01:23:40 AM

FlyingLizardOfDoom: Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.

He never said the second stone cast had to be from a blameless man... just the first.


You can't cast the second stone without the first.  The point being don't go stoning people for their sins when you have your own.
 
2014-03-29 02:37:08 AM
"Homo demon"? Is that like South Park Satan?
 
2014-03-29 02:54:22 AM
I'm pretty sure the only stoning Jesus would actually endorse would involve weed and the complete and utter destruction of munchies at the local quickie mart.  Abbu would approve, too!
 
2014-03-29 06:03:41 AM
Every one of these people that are so anti gay and obsessed with the personal lives of others has something they're hiding; toe tapping in random bathroom stalls or diddling a boy scout.
 
2014-03-29 07:06:04 AM

Ambivalence: FlyingLizardOfDoom: Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.

He never said the second stone cast had to be from a blameless man... just the first.

You can't cast the second stone without the first.  The point being don't go stoning people for their sins when you have your own.


What if we can convince a newborn child who just got baptized to throw the first stone.  They are without sin correct?  Then it's open season after that.
 
2014-03-29 07:15:16 AM

5 star chef of tv dinners: Ambivalence: FlyingLizardOfDoom: Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.

He never said the second stone cast had to be from a blameless man... just the first.

You can't cast the second stone without the first.  The point being don't go stoning people for their sins when you have your own.

What if we can convince a newborn child who just got baptized to throw the first stone.  They are without sin correct?  Then it's open season after that.


Being born from original sin makes them carriers of some sort.
 
2014-03-29 08:03:41 AM
He must think Christ was kidding when he said "love all mankind as you would love yourself."


Either that or this guy reeeeeally hates himself.
 
2014-03-29 08:20:27 AM
i28.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-29 08:22:44 AM
Well, they'll stone ya when you're walkin' 'long the street
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to keep your seat
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' on the floor
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' to the door
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned
 
2014-03-29 08:23:13 AM
Supposedly a gay person went to the church and told the pastor they were showing up for their stoning. The reply was something like "Oh, I would never stone somebody, but Jesus sure would, because that's what the Bible says."
 
2014-03-29 08:23:22 AM
"Damn it, Mom - sometimes you really piss me off."
 
2014-03-29 08:24:24 AM
"The white homo who now lives in the community-and there are a lot of them that moved up here-they brought their restaurants, they brought some of their lifestyle, they brought their Starbucks coffee with them... "

He's right, youknow.  Starbucks is totally gay.
 
2014-03-29 08:27:48 AM

Satanic_Hamster: "The white homo who now lives in the community-and there are a lot of them that moved up here-they brought their restaurants, they brought some of their lifestyle, they brought their Starbucks coffee with them... "

He's right, youknow.  Starbucks is totally gay.


To be fair, there's quite a lot of solid academic research that shows that places that become "cluster hubs" for gay people shoots up the land value, the medium income, and the rate of gentrification (which includes getting new Starbucks).
 
2014-03-29 08:29:31 AM

SavageWombat: "Damn it, Mom - sometimes you really piss me off."


Thanks for the flashback to my 60s Catholic grade-school days. :-)

Here's one for you: "A nun falling down the stairs."
 
2014-03-29 08:31:19 AM

Bungles: Satanic_Hamster: "The white homo who now lives in the community-and there are a lot of them that moved up here-they brought their restaurants, they brought some of their lifestyle, they brought their Starbucks coffee with them... "

He's right, youknow.  Starbucks is totally gay.

To be fair, there's quite a lot of solid academic research that shows that places that become "cluster hubs" for gay people shoots up the land value, the medium income, and the rate of gentrification (which includes getting new Starbucks).


Then they sell to straight couples with children and go elsewhere, where the cycle continues. . . . Same as it ever was.
 
2014-03-29 08:35:57 AM

Bungles: Satanic_Hamster: "The white homo who now lives in the community-and there are a lot of them that moved up here-they brought their restaurants, they brought some of their lifestyle, they brought their Starbucks coffee with them... "

He's right, youknow.  Starbucks is totally gay.

To be fair, there's quite a lot of solid academic research that shows that places that become "cluster hubs" for gay people shoots up the land value, the medium income, and the rate of gentrification (which includes getting new Starbucks).


might part of this reason be that only the well educated professionals have had enough power to come out openly and those who are poor and/or uneducated can't or fear they can't live openly and this skews these numbers
 
2014-03-29 08:36:52 AM

Trailltrader: I'm pretty sure the only stoning Jesus would actually endorse would involve weed and the complete and utter destruction of munchies at the local quickie mart.  Abbu would approve, too!


Jesus would walk in, buy a single -small- bag of chips and a yoohoo, then go outside and share them amongst 5000 stoners and their families.

So no, Abu would not approve.  He'd be out of thousands of dollars in profits.
 
2014-03-29 08:37:14 AM
Jesus was kind of a dick to the fig tree
 
2014-03-29 08:42:10 AM
You know, people who lie about what Jesus would do probably don't think he's real.
 
2014-03-29 08:42:12 AM
"However, I do think that anyone who promotes that as a lifestyle and tries to make it a national and international event and create warfare upon everybody else, then the appropriate response would be to stone them back to the Stone Age, or stone them back to hell."

Funny how he is too much of a wimp to actually just say "yes I want to be allowed to throw rocks at gay people until they die". He has to have all these qualifiers, they gotta be gay and promoting the gay life style and they gotta be doing it on an international level and they gotta be creating warfare on everyone else and then finally the appropriate response is to throw rocks at them until they die.
 
2014-03-29 08:42:16 AM
Ah, David Manning. The craziest motherfarker in Harlem and that's including Sho Nuff. Black separatist with extremely violent rhetoric and, clearly, a very loose grasp on the gospel.
 
2014-03-29 08:42:57 AM
I'd ask him if his children were disobedient at any time, so we can point out the hypocrisy of not stoning his own kids, cuz that's what the bible says.
 
2014-03-29 08:43:00 AM

Doktor_Zhivago: Jesus was kind of a dick to the fig tree


Well, the fig is the gayest tree.  It's right there in it's name.

He got kind of pissed at bankers too.
 
2014-03-29 08:49:27 AM

Satanic_Hamster: "The white homo who now lives in the community-and there are a lot of them that moved up here-they brought their restaurants, they brought some of their lifestyle, they brought their Starbucks coffee with them... "

He's right, youknow.  Starbucks is totally gay.


Well, it does taste like somebody came in it.
 
2014-03-29 08:57:40 AM
So, dude goes to prison and when he comes out he starts railing against gays and talks about how prisons house homo demons. Sounds like he either was raped and generalized that experience to all homosexuals. Alternatively he had a consensual relationship and had to justify his actions in light of his new beliefs, so to the new convert the answer is obvious, spirits and demons are the cause.
 
2014-03-29 09:02:23 AM
Hey, Jesus sounds pretty cool. Will he only get high with homosexuals or can I still smoke with him?

/best part is he can feed 5000 stoners with one bag of Doritos
//the tiny bag!!
 
2014-03-29 09:06:33 AM

SilentStrider: He must think Christ was kidding when he said "love all mankind as you would love yourself."


Either that or this guy reeeeeally hates himself.


People like him would be first in line to cruxify Jesus.
 
2014-03-29 09:14:28 AM

Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.


yeah but Jesus was without sin. maybe that was his way of saying "me first"


/jk lol
 
2014-03-29 09:15:45 AM

NeverDrunk23: SilentStrider: He must think Christ was kidding when he said "love all mankind as you would love yourself."


Either that or this guy reeeeeally hates himself.

People like him would be first in line to cruxify Jesus.



Wouldn't surprise me.
 
2014-03-29 09:16:31 AM
Said a preacher who may have read the Bible but couldn't distinguish between the Old Testament and the New Testament.
 
2014-03-29 09:19:29 AM
Dear Junky Website:

I know you'll miss Mr. Phelps' contribution to do your ad revenue, but it's very easy to find people who say disparaging things about homosexuality.

Call me when you find someone picketing funerals. I'm sure the rest of the Phelps family will be there for you.
 
2014-03-29 09:22:27 AM
Good thing they didn't apply Old Testament punishment when he was a thieving demon.
 
2014-03-29 09:22:51 AM
Dear Subby,
I don't want to get along with some jerk willing to kill someone just because of what they want to do with their private parts to another consenting adult.

Sincerely
Spongeboob

P.S.
Sorry that you find it necessary to point out your own sexuality in order to comment on this.
 
2014-03-29 09:23:33 AM

Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.


Reminds me of this story a few months back.
 
2014-03-29 09:23:40 AM
If we all got along, politicians would be out of work.
It's not hate, it's entrepreneurship.
 
2014-03-29 09:30:43 AM

Ambivalence: FlyingLizardOfDoom: Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.

He never said the second stone cast had to be from a blameless man... just the first.

You can't cast the second stone without the first.  The point being don't go stoning people for their sins when you have your own.


What if a stone throwing machine is hooked up to a Schrodinger Cat sort type of firing mechanism. Jesus never said "he who is without sin can check the state of atomic decay"

Furthermore, he said "He" who is without sin. So let a female start the stoning.
 
2014-03-29 09:36:27 AM

Hoarseman: So, dude goes to prison and when he comes out he starts railing against gays and talks about how prisons house homo demons. Sounds like he either was raped and generalized that experience to all homosexuals. Alternatively he had a consensual relationship and had to justify his actions in light of his new beliefs, so to the new convert the answer is obvious, spirits and demons are the cause.


Pretty sure if you are getting raped in prison the guy doing the raping isn't a homosexual according to prison rules and very unlikely that he would be having gay sex outside of prison. The whole issue of consent is also sometimes kind of murky, is it real consent or consent for protection from other prisoners.
 
2014-03-29 09:40:19 AM

Doktor_Zhivago: Jesus was kind of a dick to the fig tree


Not as big a dick as Elisha having a bear maul 42 kids for calling him baldy, and don't get me started one what kind of dick Samson was
 
2014-03-29 09:47:02 AM

JoieD'Zen: Every one of these people that are so anti gay and obsessed with the personal lives of others has something they're hiding; toe tapping in random bathroom stalls or diddling a boy scout.

He is a jailbird so I assume he got plenty indoctrinated behind bars.
 
2014-03-29 09:47:40 AM

the801: everybody must get stoned.


Happily doing my part.
 
2014-03-29 09:55:25 AM

Karac: Doktor_Zhivago: Jesus was kind of a dick to the fig tree

Well, the fig is the gayest tree.  It's right there in it's name.

He got kind of pissed at bankers too.


Plus he said it was cool to waste expesive olive oil instead of giving the money to the poor.

/but only if you waste it on him
 
2014-03-29 09:58:02 AM

Snarky Acronym: JoieD'Zen: Every one of these people that are so anti gay and obsessed with the personal lives of others has something they're hiding; toe tapping in random bathroom stalls or diddling a boy scout.He is a jailbird so I assume he got plenty indoctrinated behind bars.


FTFA: But it's not just white guys who are to blame, according to Manning. Describing prisons as "incubators for homosexuality," he argues that the increasing acceptance of same-sex relationships means that straight-identifying men of color who engaged in gay sex on the inside will no longer be ashamed of their actions upon their release.

I think you've hit on something here. He's likely overcompensating for just a little teensy bit of guilt and shame.
 
2014-03-29 10:00:02 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-29 10:05:48 AM

Hobodeluxe: Ambivalence: I remember there being a part of the new testement showing Jesus was explicitly anti-stoning.  "Let he who is without sin..." and all that.

yeah but Jesus was without sin. maybe that was his way of saying "me first"


/jk lol


I always assumed that it was so obvious from context that Jesus stoned her to death that it was deemed unnecessary to point out.
 
2014-03-29 10:08:41 AM
I'm not gay either, but if it meant that hateful douchebags like this would disappear from the Earth forever, I'm pretty sure I would suck a dick.

/as long as it belonged to Ewan McGregor
//what?
///stop looking at me like that!
 
2014-03-29 10:09:36 AM
Karac: Well, the fig is the gayest tree. It's right there in it's name.

Hmmmm, a ginger root carved into a butt plug and anally inserted is called "figging".
The things one learns on fark.

Ground fresh ginger is what the country folks use for morning sickness instead of buying medicine.
And they also use it for diarrhea, a tablespoon full of ground ginger and two tablespoons of salt in a glass of warm water.
Never heard anyone talk about sticking it up their butt until now.
 
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