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(BBC-US)   Stool test that involves smelling the patient's droppings is 76% effective at diagnosing bowel disease, 100% effective at creating job that no farking sane person would ever want, ever   (bbc.com) divider line 72
    More: Obvious, volatile organic compound, stool tests, IBD, diseases  
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2781 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2014 at 6:00 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-28 05:08:05 PM
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-03-28 05:16:58 PM
To be fair, melena and GI bleed vomit has a distinct smell. And you can smell feces on the breath of people with a high-degree bowel obstruction.
 
2014-03-28 05:40:31 PM
i1070.photobucket.com

"More beancurd today. And no meat"
 
2014-03-28 06:02:00 PM
The world needs stool smellers too!
 
2014-03-28 06:04:01 PM
Only sane people can do this job, but only insane people apply to do itt.


/Thats a nice catch there, Catch-22...The best there is
///Nately's whore did it!
////What kind oft name is Yossarian?
 
2014-03-28 06:04:06 PM
i36.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-28 06:04:18 PM
i aint putting up with that shiat!
 
2014-03-28 06:05:45 PM

hardinparamedic: To be fair, melena and GI bleed vomit has a distinct smell. And you can smell feces on the breath of people with a high-degree bowel obstruction.


and don't forget C. Diff.  You smell that once on a patient and you can diagnose others just by walking in the room.
 
2014-03-28 06:06:03 PM
Approves.

ontheedge.dezignstuff.com
 
2014-03-28 06:08:20 PM
Seems like a perfect job for a dog. Although keeping them from eating it might be an issue.
 
2014-03-28 06:08:26 PM
All clear here. Next!

www.forgingelitesarcasm.com
 
2014-03-28 06:08:28 PM
You have to wonder how a stool sniffer's co-workers would prank him.
 
2014-03-28 06:08:33 PM
LAUGHTER OL they should just wait until the roommate of me proceeds to the bathroom and soon would do the learning of the smell of the disease. She is the bigger person.
 
2014-03-28 06:08:51 PM
Well, hire someone who is into coprophagia. Problem solved.
 
2014-03-28 06:09:41 PM
Unfortunately, most people only THINK their shiat don't stink
 
2014-03-28 06:13:42 PM
I hear a lot of those tests results are wrong...

fc01.deviantart.net
 
2014-03-28 06:14:10 PM
This is the kind of job that is growing in our new economy.....

Whenever you hear "home healthcare worker" just replace that with "old person diaper changer"
 
2014-03-28 06:17:56 PM

Summoner101: Unfortunately, most people only THINK their shiat don't stink


Does anyone actually think that IRL? My shiat sure as hell stinks. Bad.
 
2014-03-28 06:19:09 PM
Stool analysis shown below for the curious.

woodgears.ca
 
2014-03-28 06:20:00 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: You have to wonder how a stool sniffer's co-workers would prank him.


1. Bring in some chocolate in the shape of a stool sample.

2. Call the victim over to double-check, and when he gets there, eat a piece of it.

3. While he's turned around gagging, swap the chocolate for real poop, and tell him to try a piece...
 
2014-03-28 06:20:45 PM
They're using Gas Chromatography i.e. a "robo-nose"[1].
Just another case of greedy industrialists replacing honest human poop-sniffing employees with cheap automation.

/[1] Now I'm imagining a remake/mashup of "Robocop" and "Sleepers".
//Yes, my brain goes to very strange places sometimes.
 
2014-03-28 06:20:55 PM
And I can't believe http://www.ratemypoo.com/  is still out there.

/poop thread
 
2014-03-28 06:25:05 PM
Mine smells like victory.
 
2014-03-28 06:25:17 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-28 06:27:19 PM

the ha ha guy: TheShavingofOccam123: You have to wonder how a stool sniffer's co-workers would prank him.

1. Bring in some chocolate in the shape of a stool sample.

2. Call the victim over to double-check, and when he gets there, eat a piece of it.

3. While he's turned around gagging, swap the chocolate for real poop, and tell him to try a piece...


Absolutely brilliant. And quick too.
 
2014-03-28 06:27:50 PM
I'd rather be a deodorant tester than a stool tester...
s21.postimg.org
 
2014-03-28 06:30:02 PM
*reads headline, clicks link*
GASP!
*runs outside*
POOP THREAD!!!!!

Here I sit, broken hearted
Couldn't poop, so only farted

Here I sit constipated
Couldn't poop, so masturbated
 
2014-03-28 06:32:15 PM
Farking sane people seldom have any business being doctors.
 
2014-03-28 06:33:23 PM
How much does it pay?
 
2014-03-28 06:33:24 PM

Epicanis: They're using Gas Chromatography i.e. a "robo-nose"[1].
Just another case of greedy industrialists replacing honest human poop-sniffing employees with cheap automation.

/[1] Now I'm imagining a remake/mashup of "Robocop" and "Sleepers".
//Yes, my brain goes to very strange places sometimes.


Nah, SIFT-MS is perfect for this.

/wanted to make a SNIF-NMR joke, but couldn't come up with one
 
2014-03-28 06:39:25 PM
The official this week's "That aint right" winner.
 
2014-03-28 06:40:32 PM
I've noticed that when I eat 'healthy' my poop actually stinks more than when I eat junk! Go figure!!
 
2014-03-28 06:45:27 PM

Pointy Tail of Satan: Stool analysis shown below for the curious.

[woodgears.ca image 850x479]


My stool's bigger. And red. And furry. With springs.

/It's a Swopper.
 
2014-03-28 06:54:26 PM

SuperNinjaToad: I've noticed that when I eat 'healthy' my poop actually stinks more than when I eat junk! Go figure!!


Actual food actually breaks down some in the digestive process. Processed food might leave pretty close to the way it came in.
 
2014-03-28 06:55:01 PM

Summoner101: Unfortunately, most people only THINK their shiat don't stink


Mine doesn't and that means I'm a god.
 
2014-03-28 06:56:11 PM
Still beats working at wal mart.
 
2014-03-28 06:57:01 PM
Corprophiles would want the job.
 
2014-03-28 07:00:57 PM
What the hell is that funky smell
 
2014-03-28 07:04:50 PM
Isn't there an app for that?  There should be.
 
2014-03-28 07:15:23 PM

hardinparamedic: To be fair, melena and GI bleed vomit has a distinct smell. And you can smell feces on the breath of people with a high-degree bowel obstruction.


Jesus H Christ.
 
2014-03-28 07:25:54 PM

highonhendrix: Isn't there an app for that?  There should be.


It will be released next week it is called Turd Trac
 
2014-03-28 07:26:52 PM
My stool smells of stale beer and greasy food, just like I do.
 
2014-03-28 07:27:26 PM
I used to work in a medical lab. Patients would bring in a 24 hour collection of their stool and we would have to dump it into a ziplock and hand-mash it to thoroughly blend it....

Mmmmm, good times
 
2014-03-28 07:32:06 PM

highonhendrix: Isn't there an app for that?  There should be.


Or how about FART. Feces Aroma Retrieval and Translation
 
2014-03-28 07:38:25 PM

Diacetylmorphine: I used to work in a medical lab. Patients would bring in a 24 hour collection of their stool and we would have to dump it into a ziplock and hand-mash it to thoroughly blend it....

Mmmmm, good times


sounds like a shiatty job
 
2014-03-28 07:41:21 PM
As if JD and Turk didn't try to tell you already...

Everything comes down to poo

img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-03-28 07:41:25 PM
I knew that Scatomancer guy wasn't crazy!
 
2014-03-28 07:44:03 PM

Nick Nostril: hardinparamedic: To be fair, melena and GI bleed vomit has a distinct smell. And you can smell feces on the breath of people with a high-degree bowel obstruction.

Jesus H Christ.


And the aforementioned C. Diff smell. Which is horrific.

And there's fetor hepaticus, which is a sign caused by liver failure. Their breath literally smells like death because of the buildup of ammonia.
 
2014-03-28 07:55:54 PM
Death Stinks
 
2014-03-28 08:03:43 PM
c2.diapers.com
 
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