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(Yandex.ru)   Caption this disturbing lack of faith   (img-fotki.yandex.ru) divider line 25
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4190 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2014 at 12:01 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-28 02:24:35 PM  
Original:
img-fotki.yandex.ru
 
2014-03-28 02:43:58 PM  
"Putin never told you what happened to the last guardsman who tried to stop me, did he?"

"He told me enough! He told me you spit on him!"

"No! I...kicked him in the crotch!"

*boot*
 
2014-03-28 02:56:09 PM  
"The red switch gives me a hardon big enough to bang your wife while she's on the other side of the Volga river, so don't press it unless you're ready to see me come all over your dark side, comrade!"
 
2014-03-28 08:22:49 PM  
Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that satellite, Crimea, not excuses.
 
2014-03-28 09:21:00 PM  
"The ability to destroy a peninsula is insignificant next to the power of the force"
 
2014-03-28 09:56:49 PM  
"Pull my finger."
 
2014-03-28 10:31:09 PM  
You came in that?
 
2014-03-29 12:08:13 PM  
No, Sergey, I AM your father.  That means your last name should be Darthevich.
 
2014-03-29 12:14:44 PM  
Moff Jerjerrod: Lord Vader. This is an unexpected pleasure. We are honored by your presence.
Darth Vader: You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I am here to put you back on schedule.
Jerjerrod: I assure you, Lord Vader, my Navigators are working as fast they can.
Vader: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
Jerjerrod: I tell you that this healthcare mandate will be operational as planned.
Vader: The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
Jerjerrod: But he asks the impossible! I need more men!
Vader: Then perhaps you can tell him yourself when he arrives.
Jerjerrod: [alarmed] Obama's coming here?
Vader: That is correct, Commander, and he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.
Jerjerrod: We shall double our efforts.
Vader: I hope so, Commander, for your sake. Obama is not as forgiving as I am.
 
2014-03-29 12:18:38 PM  
"So, as you may know, we've had some... issues with our surface to air batteries. That said... I understand you've come across a a couple of 'misplaced' S-400s that might be worth a little something?"
 
2014-03-29 12:22:17 PM  
"No, you put the cheese in  last, otherwise you'll accidentally the whole thing."
 
2014-03-29 12:37:29 PM  
"So I thought 'Use the Force' would be a good name for a rock band. Could ya dig it?"
 
2014-03-29 12:38:46 PM  
Czech, please!
 
2014-03-29 12:40:41 PM  
Now, this button tells me my heart rate.
 
2014-03-29 12:41:51 PM  
Have you heard the good word about our Lord and Savior, the Emperor?
 
2014-03-29 12:41:59 PM  
I need to go number one.
 
2014-03-29 12:44:40 PM  
"You know if your brain -- such as it is -- has been hacked, you can reset it.
If you press your nose for 10 seconds straight, you may be able to reboot yourself."
 
2014-03-29 12:45:00 PM  
Wait! Don't tell me...I know this one...umm...'Wil Wheaton'?
 
2014-03-29 01:06:24 PM  
"Really tough decision you have to make here. Although I do agree with other people here saying the Queen is lovely, since she sold the Royal Mail it's probably best to just ship it. Maybe call Delta and explain the situation? Airlines are getting so strict these days with baggage and weight limits that they could just tell you at the airport either throw it out or you're not getting on the plane! Actually, I have a story about Delta and baggage that may be of use. Last year I changed my vacation plans last minute because my Grandpa was in poor health. Anyways, he was a crazy guy. He always radiated that total free spirit, child of the 60's type vibe. So I finally get back home and my grandpa sat me down in front of the fireplace last Christmas and told me all about the 60's. He looked me in the eye and said "Patricia. Promise me you will never listen to the advice of a three horned hippie shaking a cat's tail." Maybe it was the fact my name was Darth and it was July or that we didn't own a fireplace and Grandpa was just lighting old newspapers on fire in the bathtub while I was pooping on the toilet but that's how we found out we needed to change Grandpa's medicine."

".........."
 
2014-03-29 01:19:36 PM  
"I told you -- never call me Vladimir when I'm in dressed in public with the Stormtroopers."
 
2014-03-29 01:34:20 PM  
Listen Earthlings, I - Did - Not - Have - Sex - With - Luke's - Mother
 
2014-03-29 02:17:34 PM  
One slice of Korolevsky please, comrade.
 
2014-03-29 03:35:26 PM  
And, now, Darth Vader with a tape recorder up his nose.
 
2014-03-29 04:41:40 PM  
"When we last met, I was the pupil and you were the master.  Now I am the master."
 
2014-03-29 11:47:47 PM  
How do you get to Tatoonie from here?
 
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