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(The Local)   "I think I'll go out and get some groceries, maybe buy a Soviet-built tank"   (thelocal.se) divider line 98
    More: Cool, Soviet, Spanish Town, tanks, groceries, High Commissioner for Refugees  
•       •       •

6602 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2014 at 3:40 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-03-28 01:51:34 PM  
An MTLB is not a farking tank.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-03-28 02:27:49 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: An MTLB is not a farking tank.


To your average reporter a bull dozer is a tank.
 
2014-03-28 03:04:46 PM  
It's not a tank, it's an armored personnel carrier.  Yeesh, you couldn't even knock down a building with that thing.  It's practically useless.  I mean it'd probably flip over if you tried to go monster truck rally on a bunch of cars at rush hour.  Not that I've ever thought about that.
 
2014-03-28 03:07:11 PM  
That's not a tank.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Tank.

upload.wikimedia.org

Tank.

upload.wikimedia.org

Tank.

upload.wikimedia.org

Tank food.
 
2014-03-28 03:23:47 PM  
Tank.

i61.tinypic.com
 
2014-03-28 03:26:20 PM  
Not a tank.

i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-03-28 03:27:24 PM  
Also not a tank.

i62.tinypic.com
 
2014-03-28 03:28:56 PM  
Still not a tank. (some may disagree)

i58.tinypic.com
 
2014-03-28 03:42:17 PM  
www.bigbrotherjunkies.com
 
2014-03-28 03:44:16 PM  

vpb: demaL-demaL-yeH: An MTLB is not a farking tank.

To your average reporter a bull dozer is a tank.


I've seen armored cars get called tanks.  Basically anything with armor plating is a "tank".
 
2014-03-28 03:44:58 PM  
It's a civilian version of the military all terrain support vehicle. Used widely in Siberia by the geological search parties. Not a tank
 
2014-03-28 03:45:04 PM  
The PBV 401, a Soviet-built fully amphibious tank that weighs around 12 tonnes and travels at a top speed of 80 kilometres per hour, is parked out the front of his grandfather's house while Johansson decides what to do with it.

You think Red Bull would sponsor him to drive it across the Atlantic? Let's see how amphibious it really is.

Start out easy. Let him take it across a fjord and then an easy run over the north sea to England. After that, let him hit the Atlantic. I'll bet he'll be pining for the fjords in no time.
 
2014-03-28 03:46:07 PM  
img.fark.net
Also a Tank.
 
2014-03-28 03:46:37 PM  
Has anybody mentioned its not a tank yet?

If I had the money to screw around with, I'd import a BTR-60 for shiats and giggles. From my understanding, they are street legal and I'd take that shiat to the supermarket. Probably freak tons of people out, and get to spend a lot of time talking with police. Maybe take it down to Georgia and really freak them out. Make them think Russia is invading.
 
2014-03-28 03:46:40 PM  
Texas Tank:

lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-03-28 03:47:19 PM  
bread, tank, and the gun of Rambo
 
2014-03-28 03:47:20 PM  
Tank:

www.wearysloth.com
 
2014-03-28 03:47:28 PM  
Isn't Wal*Mart great? True one-stop shopping!
 
2014-03-28 03:47:49 PM  

gopher321: Tank.

[i61.tinypic.com image 320x240]


You, sir...are old as hell!
Clint Eastwood, Every Which Way But Loose...
That was nice.
 
2014-03-28 03:48:08 PM  

Caffienatedjedi: If I had the money to screw around with, I'd import a BTR-60 for shiats and giggles.


As long as it's not going to be parked someplace in Alaska :\
 
2014-03-28 03:48:09 PM  
I'm getting a "reporters don't know the difference of things" vibe in this thread..
/did he buy an ak-47?
//commas
 
2014-03-28 03:48:36 PM  

SmackLT: [img.fark.net image 450x235]
Also a Tank.


Darn it.  Had to spent that 30 seconds thinking about a good "not a tank" before skipping it.
 
2014-03-28 03:49:01 PM  
Tanked.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-28 03:49:09 PM  
Imagine this graphic but with tanks.

www.twoamendments.com
 
2014-03-28 03:50:47 PM  
i.a.cnn.net
Also a Tank
 
2014-03-28 03:51:04 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: An MTLB is not a farking tank.


Get over yourself
 
2014-03-28 03:51:06 PM  
You know it's funny that nearly 100 years ago the British, while creating the first tracked armored vehicle, disguised what they were doing from spies and saboteurs by making them think they we creating indestructible water tanks, yet we still call them tanks and people get all testy if it doesn't have a torrent and a big gun.

Technically to be considered a tank all you need is tracks (and now that is even debatable), armor, and a weapon. The original WW1 'Tanks' were capable of carrying infantry as well.
 
2014-03-28 03:51:44 PM  
img59.imageshack.us
 
2014-03-28 03:51:55 PM  

Ambitwistor: Darn it.  Had to spent that 30 seconds thinking about a good "not a tank" before skipping it.


That's how ya do it.
 
2014-03-28 04:00:30 PM  
The PBV 401, a Soviet-built fully amphibious tank oh, so it floats?   that weighs around 12 tonnes  Probably not.
 
2014-03-28 04:01:15 PM  
Jimmy Johanson?  Is he a 5-time Swedish auto racing champion?
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-03-28 04:01:54 PM  

All2morrowsparTs: You know it's funny that nearly 100 years ago the British, while creating the first tracked armored vehicle, disguised what they were doing from spies and saboteurs by making them think they we creating indestructible water tanks, yet we still call them tanks and people get all testy if it doesn't have a torrent and a big gun.

Technically to be considered a tank all you need is tracks (and now that is even debatable), armor, and a weapon. The original WW1 'Tanks' were capable of carrying infantry as well.


Having a torrent would be pretty cool if you want to get the latest pirated movies in combat.
 
2014-03-28 04:03:14 PM  

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: It's not a tank, it's an armored personnel carrier.  Yeesh, you couldn't even knock down a building with that thing.  It's practically useless.  I mean it'd probably flip over if you tried to go monster truck rally on a bunch of cars at rush hour.  Not that I've ever thought about that.


Only thing is, some of the TOW-equipped Bradleys are functionally tank destroyers. Tank destroyers are often lumped in with and used operationally as true tanks.
 
2014-03-28 04:03:56 PM  
I'd imagine he'd wind up on some watch list, or outright arrested, for owning such "military" equipment here in the US, the land of the free.
 
2014-03-28 04:03:58 PM  
I really really wanted a DUKW.  But they're not entirely practical for the usual grocery shopping runs.
 
2014-03-28 04:07:16 PM  
Tanked.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-28 04:08:08 PM  

leonel: Imagine this graphic but with tanks.

[www.twoamendments.com image 799x666]


Not really a comparison. Those are all proper names, be they manufacturer or model number. "Tank" and "armoured personnel carrier" are not, and the latter is enough like the former to make -zero- difference to the laity.

Sheesh. Talk about being pedantic.
 
2014-03-28 04:08:43 PM  
That's not a tank.  Every tank has a main gun, treads, and thick armor plate.  However, not every vehicle that has those things is a tank either.  You see, it also depends on the type of gun.  Tank guns are basically used as direct sight, they shoot more or less in a straight line.  There is also self propelled artillery that looks like tanks, but they shoot their shells along an indirect ballistic path, like an arch, so the shell goes up, over and then down onto a target that the SPA can't even see.

Then there are armored personnel carriers, some of which that do have big guns, but they all carry troops.   These are not tanks either.  They are like really badass taxies.
 
2014-03-28 04:09:40 PM  

LemSkroob: I'd imagine he'd wind up on some watch list, or outright arrested, for owning such "military" equipment here in the US, the land of the free.


I think you can own a tank in the U.S. as long as the firing mechanism is deactivated.  There usually is one outside of the odd V.F.W. and/or American Legion posts in this neck of the woods.  You may have to classify it as a museum piece or something though.
 
2014-03-28 04:10:18 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: The PBV 401, a Soviet-built fully amphibious tank that weighs around 12 tonnes and travels at a top speed of 80 kilometres per hour, is parked out the front of his grandfather's house while Johansson decides what to do with it.

You think Red Bull would sponsor him to drive it across the Atlantic? Let's see how amphibious it really is.

Start out easy. Let him take it across a fjord and then an easy run over the north sea to England. After that, let him hit the Atlantic. I'll bet he'll be pining for the fjords in no time.


Russian rivers and lakes are littered with the husks of "fully amphibious tanks" and their not-so-amphibious crews.  Submerged river fording is a pretty extreme sport.
 
2014-03-28 04:10:28 PM  
You can buy them here in the states too....just pay for a container!

http://www.mortarinvestments.eu/
 
2014-03-28 04:11:09 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img59.imageshack.us image 488x651]


Gunboats?
 
2014-03-28 04:12:39 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: LemSkroob: I'd imagine he'd wind up on some watch list, or outright arrested, for owning such "military" equipment here in the US, the land of the free.

I think you can own a tank in the U.S. as long as the firing mechanism is deactivated.  There usually is one outside of the odd V.F.W. and/or American Legion posts in this neck of the woods.  You may have to classify it as a museum piece or something though.


Although, in Britain, you can buy a surplus tank and drive it on the roads there.  Maybe not the HEAVY tanks, but I did see a show with a Brit driving his smallish tracked vehicle right downtown in traffic.  And I think they are classified as agricultural, so he was able to evade some road taxes as well, IIRC.
 
2014-03-28 04:14:49 PM  

gopher321: Still not a tank. (some may disagree)

[i58.tinypic.com image 280x134]


Thats a boat.
 
2014-03-28 04:16:01 PM  
s3files.core77.com
 
2014-03-28 04:17:14 PM  

hardinparamedic: That's not a tank.

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 302x167]

Tank.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x566]

Tank.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x568]

Tank.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x637]

Tank food.


Thread Tread win. But thread needs more Tanks, so:

mailer.fsu.edu


www.outsidethebeltway.com

upload.wikimedia.org

img.fark.net

cdn.defencetalk.com
 
2014-03-28 04:17:24 PM  

This text is now purple: Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: It's not a tank, it's an armored personnel carrier.  Yeesh, you couldn't even knock down a building with that thing.  It's practically useless.  I mean it'd probably flip over if you tried to go monster truck rally on a bunch of cars at rush hour.  Not that I've ever thought about that.

Only thing is, some of the TOW-equipped Bradleys are functionally tank destroyers. Tank destroyers are often lumped in with and used operationally as true tanks.


You can't use a Bradley as a tank.  Can't be done.  It's doesn't have a 120 mm main gun.  When a Bradley can shoot sabot (armor-piercing) rounds 2 miles, call me.  Until then all they have is a 25mm main gun and TOWs.  Useful, but not tanks.
 
2014-03-28 04:17:49 PM  

groppet: gopher321: Still not a tank. (some may disagree)

[i58.tinypic.com image 280x134]

Thats a boat.


that's not a boat, it's a (land) yacht!
 
2014-03-28 04:18:10 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img59.imageshack.us image 488x651]


Shhhhh... she's touching it... she's touching it....
 
2014-03-28 04:21:12 PM  
Col. Robert Laurel Smith: In summation, what you have before you is...

Sgt. Fanning: A troop transport that can't carry troops, a reconnaissance vehicle that's too conspicuous to do reconnaissance...

Lt. Colonel James Burton: And a quasi-tank that has less armor than a snow-blower, but carries enough ammo to take out half of D.C. THIS is what we're building?
 
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