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(London Evening Standard)   Ever had sex in your office? Well, YOU haven't, but research finds the person sitting next to you has. Just not with you   (standard.co.uk) divider line 72
    More: Interesting, Max Clifford  
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3984 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2014 at 9:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-28 08:06:23 AM  
...well there was that time in the Bridal Suite while a Sunday Brunch was going on, but that's not exactly at the office per se, and the stage at the Iron Horse is technically not "the office" either, and there was that cook I hired because he got fired from his last job for railing his manager's girlfriend on the pool table upstairs at Packards while the joint was still open, and I really hated that particular manager and I thought it would be funny to talk about the amazing new grill cook I just hired the next time he interrupted a conversation with some other chefs while trying to have a quiet drink after work, but yeah, sometimes you just have to go for it, because life is short, but the years are long...
 
2014-03-28 09:29:34 AM  
Nice Rack!
 
2014-03-28 09:32:38 AM  
Guilty.  Swept my desk clear and nailed the cute delivery girl that had shown up to the warehouse just a little after closing time.  It was probably very uncomfortable for her.

33 years ago.  Hadn't thought about that in a long time.

CSB out.
 
2014-03-28 09:35:05 AM  
bulldozer00.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-28 09:36:11 AM  
I did. I was a naïve delivery girl just coming off a breakup. I've never seen a guy sweep so many Cheetohs and Spider man comics off a desk so quickly.

Anyway, it was like 33 years ago. The twins still ask about him once in a while.
 
2014-03-28 09:37:10 AM  
Married... but even if I weren't... very few people of average or better looks where I am.

Most are down right undoable... and I consider myself unpicky.
 
2014-03-28 09:37:12 AM  
Pretty much every place I have ever worked...

But, you know... It's just one of those things.
 
2014-03-28 09:38:56 AM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2014-03-28 09:39:06 AM  
I do recall one event where I was stealing some pens under a desk in my office and this one knob head started having sex with a cute delivery girl on the desk above me. That was about 33 years ago though.
 
2014-03-28 09:39:28 AM  
How are we defining sex?  Does it have to involve other people?
 
2014-03-28 09:48:59 AM  
What's the big deal? Management is always trying to screw the employees.
 
2014-03-28 09:58:20 AM  
Not since I was a teenager.

Come to think of it, that was the last time I had a real hard-wall office where such activities could be
  reasonably conducted.   Had a couch in there, too.

/misses the late 1970s/early 1980s.....
 
2014-03-28 09:59:02 AM  
I went into a co-workers office looking for the pen he had grabbed off my desk earlier in the day.  I found it on his desk, but it was lying in a puddle of something that looked like doughnut glaze, so I left it there.  I did find a replacement in the hallway on my way out.  It had the logo from a local delivery service on it and it smelled like Cheetos.

Must have been about 33 years ago...
 
2014-03-28 09:59:33 AM  

CleanAndPure: I do recall one event where I was stealing some pens under a desk in my office and this one knob head started having sex with a cute delivery girl on the desk above me. That was about 33 years ago though.


I don't remember any reach around.  Hope you got good fap material from it.

Stop stealing my pens.
 
2014-03-28 10:00:53 AM  
Does watching someone else have sex at work count?  About 33 years ago I was working late at the warehouse and saw some knob head down the hall nailing this cute delivery girl on the desk.  She was really cute, but what she saw in him I'll never know.
 
2014-03-28 10:03:37 AM  
God, it must have been over 30 years ago now that I schtupped Doris from the typing pool on that big old Xerox copier, the one with the loose caster. We used up a lot of toner, sure, but we picked up the resulting flip book of shame...I'm sure we got them all.

Funny thing was, after we finished and the Xerox stopped its camoflaguing clattering, I swear I could hear some squeaking and moaning from the direction of the warehouse. Some echo! Good times, though. Wonder what ever happened to Doris? Based on those old photocopies, she fit like a glove!
 
2014-03-28 10:04:37 AM  
I was delivering some goods to a warehouse.  I think it was a little after closing but I noticed the cargo bay door was open and I walked in with the paperwork and I saw out of the corner of my eye, a really hairy and fat troll-like fellow banging a rather chunky pimply gal.

Still, I hadn't gotten laid in months and I was sort of more turned on than wanting to totally retch.  So, I hid behind some shelving, watched them and jerked off.

Gosh, that was a while ago.  I think about 30 or so years ago.  Hmmm...
 
2014-03-28 10:04:49 AM  
Does it still count if it wasn't with another person?
 
2014-03-28 10:09:42 AM  
Because around 33 years ago I was working night security in a warehouse. All of a sudden on the CC monitors I see a couple bumping uglies. I got a little hot so...
 
2014-03-28 10:14:39 AM  
tvfiends.com
 
2014-03-28 10:15:14 AM  
^ ^ ^
first said about 33 years ago!
 
2014-03-28 10:21:47 AM  
One company at which I worked had multiple project teams that worked odd hours.  There were frequent rumors of sex between project team members late at night. Over the two years I was at the company, I was assigned to several projects and found those rumors to be true, quite enjoyably true.  (and no, all the women were not gorgeous model types but then again, I have never exactly been the answer to a maiden's prayer myself)

Then the company set up a complete video studio for various training and promotional efforts.  The guy they hired to run it started videoing his encounters with various women.  Naturally, some idiot found out about it and showed one to management.  The fact that the videographer got fired wasn't bad - he was a jerk anyway.  The worst part was that the somewhat puritanical management that had previously been "don't ask, don't tell" now started getting diligent about finding out what was going on after regular business hours.  Suddenly they had a veritable army of security personnel who routinely patrolled the offices whenever any office staff was working late.  Conference room doors were not allowed to be closed after hours, and it was an open plan office.  The fun quickly ground to a halt.  I got my resume updated and started looking.  The job didn't have enough to recommend it that removal of certain fringe benefits was tolerable.
 
2014-03-28 10:24:32 AM  
The person who sits next to me is a hot little hose hound.  I would have no issue with it at all if she left some of her juices on my desk.
 
2014-03-28 10:24:45 AM  
Quite some time ago I was repairing the AC in this warehouse, and it was getting late and I needed to find a place to get down out of the ceiling.  Everywhere I looked there were people having sex on desks, copiers...there were even these 2 knob heads jerkin it all by themselves....WTF?!?  So I said if I can't join em I'll just go ahead and beat it right here on the ceiling tile.  Geez, that musta been 33 yrs ago
 
2014-03-28 10:26:25 AM  
Well, it wasn't exactly an office, but years ago when I worked at a bar I had sex at work.  It was mostly with patrons, but I banged a few coworkers too.

I suppose that counts, right?
 
2014-03-28 10:35:08 AM  
The person sitting next to me, subby?  God, I hope not.  The hambeast in the next office over probably hasn't gotten laid in over 33 years.  Not that I blame the menfolk for not swarming to some fifty year old ginger with a face best described as unfortunate.  But I'm told she used to be pretty cute when she was younger.  I've met her twins and they're actually good looking and well adjusted despite being raised by a single mother.
 
2014-03-28 10:52:00 AM  
I remember a patient of mine coming in around 33 years ago. She was very depressed, pregnant, and didn't want to live anymore. I gave her some counseling and did her right in my office.
After that, she was feeling great and at peace with herself.
 
2014-03-28 10:55:32 AM  
Ewe gross, I work with family. In my almost 34 years I never once looked at my twin sister that way. Plus she has some serious daddy issues, can't say I'm much better. If I ever find the asshole that abandoned us he's going to rue the day he met my mother.
 
2014-03-28 11:08:41 AM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-03-28 11:15:32 AM  
It used to happen at my old job all the time, made me afraid to touch anything or sit anywhere. The worst was this sales guy in his late 20s banging out a 16 yr old intern whose dad happend to be golf buddies with the VP. Didnt end well for the sales guy, but she was no sweet innocent angel. She was hitting on a lot of guys, even me.
 
2014-03-28 11:19:51 AM  

Surly U. Jest: [somuchwin.jpg]


Seconded.  Well done, everybody!
 
2014-03-28 11:20:39 AM  
As a sex change doctor, I can assure you, this do happen.

One of my earliest success story, about 35 years ago, was done on a man, who turned into a gorgeous woman. She later told me that, couple years after the surgery, she was working for a delivery company and she was so hot that, some dude just took her on. She even got pregnant and had a twin.
 
2014-03-28 11:34:26 AM  
I'm only eight, but my granny and some guy were in the closet making babies and people saw one of the babies and the baby looked at them.
 
2014-03-28 11:39:29 AM  

ltdanman44: [bulldozer00.files.wordpress.com image 460x278]


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-28 11:45:32 AM  

mayIFark: As a sex change doctor, I can assure you, this do happen.

One of my earliest success story, about 35 years ago, was done on a man, who turned into a gorgeous woman. She later told me that, couple years after the surgery, she was working for a delivery company and she was so hot that, some dude just took her on. She even got pregnant and had a twin.


Only one twin? What happened to the other one?
 
2014-03-28 11:53:06 AM  
www.standard.co.uk

And that's why the servers crashed last Friday.
 
2014-03-28 11:54:08 AM  
I remember when I used to work on the loading dock of this warehouse. This cute delivery girl came storming out one evening, crying, muttering something about things getting out of hand. She noticed me, wiped some tears away, and asked at me in an angry and frustrated voice, "Are you good for more than 30 seconds?" I asked what she meant, and she proceeded to take me to the back of her delivery van where we piled some old shipping blankets into the corner and rocked the van for about an hour. I never saw her again; it happened back in the early 80's, 1981, I think. My twin brother and I (twins run in our family) have a good laugh about it every time we get together for a few beers.
 
2014-03-28 12:17:58 PM  
I once walked in a co-worker nailing the delivery chick right there on his desk. He was hideous and grotesque enough, but her? Whoa, not even with his dick, man. I went to the emergency eyewash station, gagging on my own vomit. No matter how hard I tried, no matter the amount of eye bleach, I couldn't erase that calamity from my mind.

I eventually swore of intimacy and joined a monastery to escape the memory. I recently retired after 33 years
 
2014-03-28 12:22:28 PM  
Married a long time, so no... but I do work on a floor with a large number of stunning Latin American / Caribbean ladies.  So the idle day-dream wondering is fun.
 
2014-03-28 12:24:01 PM  
I'm 32 years old, never met my father, but my twin and I once heard a story about my mom back when she was a delivery girl.  Apparently she was in to voyeurism which caused her boyfriend of 2 years to break up with here.  It was really hard on her, but she was on the rebound and prowling around in her job as a delivery man. One day, she saw a fat slovenly hairmonster of a man at a warehouse hitting on her in front of a bunch of creepers and she decided to take the opportunity to indulge in her fetishes.  Everyone says she was a hot little number, but apparently the two guys who saw her didn't know to go for her gangbang fetish and just stuck to their hiding spots jerking it.  Hell, one of them was even up in the ceiling tiles!

Anyway, heard about it at a local bar from some guys who said they knew my father before he left town.
 
2014-03-28 12:29:59 PM  
On the topic at-hand, I've had plenty of sex in the office. On desks, in staircases (before 9/11), under desks, while people were still working. I used to do a particular bartender while he was on duty. We'd run to the bathroom quickly. Sometimes my boyfriend (at the time) was at the bar while this was happening and didn't care. Open relationship and all. In conclusion, sex is as fun and exciting as you make it.
 
2014-03-28 12:30:58 PM  
I work with my wife and we both have offices with doors.  The best though was when I was in high school working at a record store.  I had a key to the place.  Good times.
 
2014-03-28 12:55:36 PM  
Pro Tip.

Don't date co-workers.

They know where to find you.

/why, yes
//voice of sad experience
///they made me clean off the conference table
 
2014-03-28 12:59:56 PM  
Did my (now) wife on my desk after hours one night (looonnnng time ago).

A cute waitress blew me in the freezer at one restaurant I worked at.

Walked in on a manager nailing a waitress on the bar of another place.
 
2014-03-28 01:06:51 PM  

internut scholar: Ewe gross, I work with family. In my almost 34 years I never once looked at my twin sister that way. Plus she has some serious daddy issues, can't say I'm much better. If I ever find the asshole that abandoned us he's going to rue the day he met my mother.


How you two doin'?
 
2014-03-28 01:15:42 PM  
I remember working in this warehouse late night 33 years ago and this delivery girl was running out crying.  As she went out the back door, a slip of paper fell from her delivery bag.  It was a STD test, positive for herpes, crabs and HIV.
 
2014-03-28 01:22:05 PM  
I can't imagine it happening here. Small office, mostly men, the only two women in the office are married in their fifties (or close enough). We've had one co-worker who would have fallen on my radar, and she was in a happy relationship. Even then, I wouldn't have risked dating a co-worker, never mind more. And especially not at the office.

We're just in the wrong industry for it.

/Logistics. Not even once
//Been laughing my arse off at the story above, well done, chaps
 
2014-03-28 01:27:35 PM  
About 33 years ago I was off nailing a cute latina janitor in the broom closet. As awesome as it was, I regret it as some jackass had knocked all my program puchcards off my desk while I was gone. I didnt have them numbered, took me a week to get them back in order.
 
2014-03-28 01:28:36 PM  
When I was 17 I banged my 19 year old girlfriend in the backroom of the candy store she worked in.
 
2014-03-28 01:45:53 PM  
Back in the day a rather large Card Company (Totally NOT Hallmark!) had a very large photo department to handle their photography needs. If dark room number 7 was in use, the polite thing was to knock first before entering.

Now everything is Digital and all the n00bs are uptight wannabees  :(

/ Damn but American Business used to be sexy!
 
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