Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Remember all those sanctions Russia laughed at the other day?   (news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Russia, President Vladimir Putin, punishments, credit cards, collapse of the Soviet Union  
•       •       •

5530 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Mar 2014 at 4:31 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-03-27 11:54:03 PM  
 
2014-03-27 11:58:54 PM  
I'm sure deglobilization will work out splendidly for Russia.  Please proceed.
 
2014-03-28 12:01:54 AM  
www.thepoke.co.uk
 
2014-03-28 12:03:47 AM  
Vladicard: it's nowhere you want to be
 
2014-03-28 12:13:57 AM  
They're taking their ball and going home!
 
2014-03-28 12:21:01 AM  
Yes, China and Japan have their own processing systems.

Of course, they also accept other country's payment networks, because their own banking system isn't irredeemably corrupt and their economies aren't plutocratic to the point of being dysfunctional.

And in the case of both Japan and China, that's saying something.
 
2014-03-28 12:25:19 AM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Yes, China and Japan have their own processing systems.

Of course, they also accept other country's payment networks, because their own banking system isn't irredeemably corrupt and their economies aren't plutocratic to the point of being dysfunctional.

And in the case of both Japan and China, that's saying something.


China isn't corrupt?
 
2014-03-28 12:30:14 AM  

cman: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Yes, China and Japan have their own processing systems.

Of course, they also accept other country's payment networks, because their own banking system isn't irredeemably corrupt and their economies aren't plutocratic to the point of being dysfunctional.

And in the case of both Japan and China, that's saying something.

China isn't corrupt?


they are, but you can still use visa.
 
2014-03-28 12:49:50 AM  
They DON'T have their own system? I thought they were all like modern and stuff.
 
2014-03-28 12:56:52 AM  
Yep, and they're still laughing.

How did TFA get greened?
 
2014-03-28 01:03:09 AM  

cman: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Yes, China and Japan have their own processing systems.

Of course, they also accept other country's payment networks, because their own banking system isn't irredeemably corrupt and their economies aren't plutocratic to the point of being dysfunctional.

And in the case of both Japan and China, that's saying something.

China isn't corrupt?


Of course it is.  So is Japan (less so than China, but Japan's economy also isn't on overdrive and on an uncontrollable path to self-destruction).

But neither of them are so unsubtly corrupt and so audaciously plutocratic that they've managed to ostracize themselves from the rest of the international financial system.  That level of dysfunction is, apparently, a singularly Russian feat.
 
2014-03-28 01:13:27 AM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: That level of dysfunction is, apparently, a singularly Russian feat.


This really makes me think about the nature of Russia's historical relationship with The West.  They've vacillated between desire of inclusion and asserting their own brand of hegemony for centuries.  Sometimes I wonder if the history is too deep for inclusion, but then I think of Germany...  Hell, I don't know.  What is clear, however, is that Russia is singularly capable of being both powerful and marginal.  That's quite a curiosity.
 
2014-03-28 01:26:42 AM  
President Vladimir Putin on Thursday said Russia should create its own national payment settlement system

I thought he had one of those already.  It's called an "armored division with close air support".
 
2014-03-28 01:48:17 AM  
Мастеркардский and Буса?

I wonder what the interest rate is on a card backed by oil, borscht, nesting dolls, and rampant corruption.
 
2014-03-28 01:59:35 AM  
Why is there a $5000 'Crimean Defense Fee' on my bill?
 
2014-03-28 02:14:35 AM  

some_beer_drinker: cman: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Yes, China and Japan have their own processing systems.

Of course, they also accept other country's payment networks, because their own banking system isn't irredeemably corrupt and their economies aren't plutocratic to the point of being dysfunctional.

And in the case of both Japan and China, that's saying something.

China isn't corrupt?

they are, but you can still use visa.


www.adslogans.co.uk
 
2014-03-28 02:50:43 AM  

Mentat: Why is there a $5000 'Crimean Defense Fee' on my bill?


*golf clap*
 
2014-03-28 03:58:02 AM  

VLADSA Card


It's everywhere he wants to be!

 
2014-03-28 04:40:05 AM  
A Russian credit-rating system... LOL
 
2014-03-28 04:50:39 AM  
In Soviet Russia, credit rate YOU.
 
2014-03-28 05:01:42 AM  
That white elephant is getting expensive.
 
2014-03-28 05:26:40 AM  
Oh, no room for Putin, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own credit card system, with vodak and hookers! In fact, forget the cards and hookers.
 
2014-03-28 05:28:31 AM  
Don't leave Volga without it.
 
2014-03-28 05:40:44 AM  
We don't need Visa, we are already in your country.
 
2014-03-28 05:45:04 AM  

Nuff Said McFarky: Oh, no room for Putin, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own credit card system, with vodak and hookers! In fact, forget the cards and hookers.


My first green! But yeah the Bender quote occurred to me like two minutes after I submitted this headline. Oh well act in haste....
 
2014-03-28 05:55:12 AM  
Who wouldn't feel secure knowing that their payment processors are backed by the full faith and integrity of the Russian government?
 
2014-03-28 06:01:28 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-28 06:10:46 AM  

IamKaiserSoze!!!: Yep, and they're still laughing.

You must be one of those guys who has a shameful hardon for Putin's pecs. Or a Republican. But I repeat myself...
 
2014-03-28 06:18:04 AM  
This is not entirely related to sanctions. The idea for Russian payment system was running through Russia for years already. It is targeting not foreigners, but Russians themselves: Russia is trying to tighten its control over movement of money inside the country, with the goal to lower tax evasion and money laundering. The primary target are exactly right Russian people, oligarchs, officials, etc.

But also average Russian people.

The idea is not completely without merit. After all, I myself use anonymous visa card to evade taxes while in Russia; my wife is an accountant, and the majority of her clients are Russian small and medium businesses using all kinds of schemes of tax evasion. "Double accountancy" is pretty much the only system _any_ Russian business uses.

I am not going to go into details, but that's how the system has historically evolved since Wild Nineties.

Russia created a set of laws, that demand tighter control over money movement from their banking systems, including online-money systems and so on - and got it. They also tried to make Visa and Mastercard to comply with the laws, but Visa and Mastercard told them "go fark yourself, you relatively small country with relatively small economy."

Putin and Russia don't respond well on any "go fark yourself", be it from foreigners or not, so the push for native processing system started at the earnest (half a year ago or so). However, the cooler heads prevailed - Russians will eat anything, but what do you expect foreign tourists to do, leave their visas at home and come to Russia with bags of cash? That'll crush the tourism!

However, apparently, that second snubbing from Visa-Mastercard was enough to push Putin and Russian Parliament over the edge. Again, can't say that it's entirely unreasonable. At least 40% of everyday transactions in Russia go through Visa/Mastercard, what if Visa/Mastercard would decide to suddenly stop any processing inside Russia, as part of the sanctions? The Russian economy would be hit greatly.

So, apparently, Russia is building its own processing system with petuh (russian card game) and vodak.

Probably in parallel with Visa/Mastercard, but certainly with a goal in mind to eventually replace them. Insanity, of course, it will never be profitable and it will probably be more expensive to use than Visa/Mastercard, it will forever be worse, less secure (although gods knows, I have no idea how is it possible to be less secure than Visa), and everyone understands that, but, well, a Russia got to do what a Russia got to do, eh.
 
2014-03-28 06:21:23 AM  

IamKaiserSoze!!!: Yep, and they're still laughing.

How did TFA get greened?


Because baby Jesus saw what you do to those pictures of Putin fly fishing when you lock yourself in the bathroom.
 
2014-03-28 06:22:28 AM  
some_beer_drinker:

LOL интернет
 
2014-03-28 06:42:29 AM  
he doesn't like the card companies, so he just wants to make up his own card. Doesn't like the rating agencies, so he wants to create his own credit rating agencies. Just who the fark does Putin think he is... Rand Paul?
 
2014-03-28 07:06:09 AM  
I suppose the easiest way to hit the Russian economy now is to sanction all banks (before a Russian-built credit card system can be put in place) and cause a run on the banks when their bank cards stop working. The collateral damage would be terrible, but you can damage the economy in such a way that could take a decade or more to repair.
 
2014-03-28 07:18:09 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Мастеркардский and Буса?

I wonder what the interest rate is on a card backed by oil, borscht, nesting dolls, and rampant corruption.


Mastercardski and Bousa?
 
2014-03-28 07:27:48 AM  
Russian Express: Don't leave home.
MoscowCard: There are some things money can't buy.  In that case, there's illegal combatants and spurious elections.
Visa: No, an actual visa, I need to get out of this shiathole.
Discover: It pays to discover. (C'mon, somebody apply for a Discover card!  Please!)
 
2014-03-28 07:33:41 AM  
Wow subby! I guess this policy gesture means the sanctions have crushed them!  So, when is Russia predicted to leave Crimea now? Or do we need to write them another modestly sternly worded letter?
 
2014-03-28 07:37:15 AM  

dchall1: Mastercardski and Bousa?


Visa is written in Russian alphabet as (kind of) Busa.
 
2014-03-28 07:42:23 AM  

Tricky Chicken: Wow subby! I guess this policy gesture means the sanctions have crushed them!  So, when is Russia predicted to leave Crimea now? Or do we need to write them another modestly sternly worded letter?


So you prefer global war over...Crimea? Can you even find it on a map?
 
2014-03-28 07:45:55 AM  
so how reliable is that thing going to be?
 
2014-03-28 07:48:14 AM  

Tricky Chicken: Wow subby! I guess this policy gesture means the sanctions have crushed them!  So, when is Russia predicted to leave Crimea now? Or do we need to write them another modestly sternly worded letter?


Russia has a huge Gazprom deal with China due in May I think.  The only way the EU can get oil not from Russia is through Azerbaijan, and only after billions of infrastructure investment, which the EU can ill afford.

I don't think sanctions will cripple Russia as much as people on Fark think.
 
2014-03-28 07:48:55 AM  

AdamK: so how reliable is that thing going to be?


You can really only use it for vodka and underage hookers.
 
2014-03-28 07:50:32 AM  

jakomo002: Tricky Chicken: Wow subby! I guess this policy gesture means the sanctions have crushed them!  So, when is Russia predicted to leave Crimea now? Or do we need to write them another modestly sternly worded letter?

Russia has a huge Gazprom deal with China due in May I think.  The only way the EU can get oil not from Russia is through Azerbaijan, and only after billions of infrastructure investment, which the EU can ill afford.

I don't think sanctions will cripple Russia as much as people on Fark think.


Since Putin seems to go for style over substance, looking tough over being tough, he'll probably lie as much as he can about how much the sanctions hurt him.
 
2014-03-28 07:51:58 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: AdamK: so how reliable is that thing going to be?

You can really only use it for vodka and underage hookers.


so....where are the signups?
 
2014-03-28 07:52:43 AM  

AdamK: so how reliable is that thing going to be?


Just as reliable as any other Russian-produced thing.

Will do in a pinch, but everyone would rather use something made in Europe. Or at least in China under European brand. :)
 
2014-03-28 07:52:45 AM  
If the Visa and MasterCard are beholden to US political interests, then it would be stupid for Russia or any other nation to use them. They'll find all kinds of reasons to separate you from your own money.
 
2014-03-28 07:55:03 AM  

jakomo002: Tricky Chicken: Wow subby! I guess this policy gesture means the sanctions have crushed them!  So, when is Russia predicted to leave Crimea now? Or do we need to write them another modestly sternly worded letter?

Russia has a huge Gazprom deal with China due in May I think.  The only way the EU can get oil not from Russia is through Azerbaijan, and only after billions of infrastructure investment, which the EU can ill afford.

I don't think sanctions will cripple Russia as much as people on Fark think.


The EU's dependence on oil from Russia is kind of overstated.

Sure, 30-40% of the EU's gas comes from Russia, but gas only comprises something like 22% of the energy used in the EU. So, really, we're looking at maybe 6 or 7% of the EU's energy needs coming from Russia. Sure, some people are going to get screwed (like Finland, who gets 70% of their gas from Russia), but all things considered, Russian gas isn't the end-all and be-all of EU energy sources.
 
2014-03-28 07:56:14 AM  

RexTalionis: The EU's dependence on oil gas from Russia is kind of overstated.


FTFM
 
2014-03-28 07:59:49 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Tricky Chicken: Wow subby! I guess this policy gesture means the sanctions have crushed them!  So, when is Russia predicted to leave Crimea now? Or do we need to write them another modestly sternly worded letter?

So you prefer global war over...Crimea? Can you even find it on a map?


Which part? You see, the Black Sea is vaguely shaped like Austrailia only with a land/sea negative.  Crimea would be the peninsula that is analogous to the gulf on the northern coast of Austrailia that includes Groote Island

And not so much global war, I just prefer that we follow through when we agree to support a nation.  Not just stand aside as it is invaded.
 
2014-03-28 08:01:48 AM  
Your red ink helps keep Russia strong.

imageshack.com
 
2014-03-28 08:08:16 AM  

Tricky Chicken: HotWingConspiracy: Tricky Chicken: Wow subby! I guess this policy gesture means the sanctions have crushed them!  So, when is Russia predicted to leave Crimea now? Or do we need to write them another modestly sternly worded letter?

So you prefer global war over...Crimea? Can you even find it on a map?

Which part? You see, the Black Sea is vaguely shaped like Austrailia only with a land/sea negative.  Crimea would be the peninsula that is analogous to the gulf on the northern coast of Austrailia that includes Groote Island


Nice wikipedia brah

And not so much global war, I just prefer that we follow through when we agree to support a nation.

We're supporting them by sanctioning Russia and we're about to send them a billion dollars.

 Not just stand aside as it is invaded.

So you prefer global war.
 
Displayed 50 of 72 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report