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(Topless Robot)   Director of the classic '80s action flicks Firestarter and Commando has made a new film about a giant swimming tyrannosaurus rex   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 28
    More: Sad, Firestarter, commandos, money shots  
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1760 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Mar 2014 at 2:58 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-27 11:39:15 PM
The running T-Rex scene is similar to the scene in Jurassic Park where the T-Rex is going after the Jeep.
 
2014-03-27 11:46:39 PM
The film with the dwarf T-Rex swimming just didn't go over well, particularly as the glockenspiel music did not build the tension well.
 
2014-03-28 12:04:46 AM
This is sure to be the best trailer you'll see today that features mutated reptiles doing uncharacteristic things.

Singing karaoke? Cooking breakfast? What?
 
2014-03-28 01:04:20 AM
Awesome! I love b-flicks and haven't seen a good one in a while. This looks like it might fit the bill.
 
2014-03-28 02:04:00 AM
Sometime last year I went on a couple of dates with the girl who was assistant to the director for this flick.  She told me about it, so I went home and looked it up on IMDB.  When I saw that he'd done things like Firestarter and Commando, I just wondered what the fark happened that he'd sunk to this point.  Maybe it's just me, but this is kind of sad.
 
2014-03-28 02:20:08 AM

timujin: Sometime last year I went on a couple of dates with the girl who was assistant to the director for this flick.  She told me about it, so I went home and looked it up on IMDB.  When I saw that he'd done things like Firestarter and Commando, I just wondered what the fark happened that he'd sunk to this point.  Maybe it's just me, but this is kind of sad.


Could be worse. He could be John McTiernan (director of Die Hard, Predator and Hunt for Red October)
 
2014-03-28 03:05:59 AM
Let's not pretend this guy is Orson Welles slumming. Firestarter and Commando were the peak* of his career (and those are, at best, dubious guilty pleasures).

/*not counting Bobbi Jo and the Outlaw whose primary selling point is a topless, pre-Wonder Woman Lynda Carter.
 
2014-03-28 03:14:36 AM
"T-Rex" "swimming".

Two little arms doing the doggy paddle? Scary!
 
2014-03-28 03:18:55 AM
31.media.tumblr.com

Dr. Venture
: I'm... not alone, Brock.
Brock: What, who's with you?
Dr. Venture: I don't know, he just keeps saying he's the 'firestarter'. Hold on he's coming back. [the crazy guy runs by again] Sir- man he's quick.
Brock: Well ask him which way is out.
 
2014-03-28 03:19:59 AM
"Firestarter" is simply not any good, and the things that make "Commando" enjoyable (dialogue and a self-aware Ahnuld) are not the director's doing.
 
2014-03-28 03:22:13 AM

Snapper Carr: Let's not pretend this guy is Orson Welles slumming. Firestarter and Commando were the peak* of his career (and those are, at best, dubious guilty pleasures).

/*not counting Bobbi Jo and the Outlaw whose primary selling point is a topless, pre-Wonder Woman Lynda Carter.


Yes, a dose of realism here: the only reason Firestarter and Commando were hits is because during that time period phenomenally dumb action movies could be mega-hit blockbusters.  And those two weren't even huge hits compared to some of the other big dumb mega-hits of the day.

This guy is not that different from the Bee Gees or Sir Mix-A-Lot: he had his time, he peaked, and it had nothing to do with how talented he was.  He hasn't changed, the rest of the world just moved on.
 
2014-03-28 03:26:24 AM

Mad_Radhu: [31.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]

Dr. Venture: I'm... not alone, Brock.
Brock: What, who's with you?
Dr. Venture: I don't know, he just keeps saying he's the 'firestarter'. Hold on he's coming back. [the crazy guy runs by again] Sir- man he's quick.
Brock: Well ask him which way is out.


I laughed entirely too much at that part.  I know they were trying to ham it up, but if anything they captured Keith Flint's onstage persona perfectly.
 
2014-03-28 03:52:15 AM
There appears to be a worrying lack of acceptance here of the fact that Commando is objectively brilliant by any metric used to judge films. Especially the music. Get it together, Fark.
 
2014-03-28 04:16:59 AM

Slaxl: There appears to be a worrying lack of acceptance here of the fact that Commando is objectively brilliant by any metric used to judge films. Especially the music. Get it together, Fark.


It was no running man.
 
2014-03-28 04:18:41 AM

Smackledorfer: Slaxl: There appears to be a worrying lack of acceptance here of the fact that Commando is objectively brilliant by any metric used to judge films. Especially the music. Get it together, Fark.

It was no running man.


Yes!!!
 
2014-03-28 05:11:54 AM
It looks better than Jurassic Park 4 sounds. So far.
 
2014-03-28 07:56:21 AM
Commando is one of those movies like Predator and Scarface that I use as a gauge whether I'd be friends with someone.  I'll throw a "You're a funny guy sully" into my everyday conversations to see if anyone picks up on it.
 
2014-03-28 08:08:08 AM
How could they swim with those tiny arms?
 
2014-03-28 08:43:34 AM

Robert1966: "Firestarter" is simply not any good, and the things that make "Commando" enjoyable (dialogue and a self-aware Ahnuld) are not the director's doing.


'Firestarter' is exactly the same movie as 'Push' and the new show 'Believe'.
Young kid with powers they can't control is hunted by government agents, some who want to use her as weapon, some who want to protect her from herself.

And Drew Barrymore...little lip quivering, as she has to use her powers, after a lifetime of being told not to? very effective scene.

Hmmmm...add Violet from The Incredibles to that list of trope examples.
 
2014-03-28 08:51:57 AM

abhorrent1: How could they swim with those tiny arms?


They also have legs and a tail. So presumably just like crocodiles manage to swim.
 
2014-03-28 10:50:51 AM

abhorrent1: How could they swim with those tiny arms?


Duh, they're intelligently designed to fit water wings. Not an inch too big.
 
2014-03-28 11:25:47 AM

Snapper Carr: Let's not pretend this guy is Orson Welles slumming. Firestarter and Commando were the peak* of his career (and those are, at best, dubious guilty pleasures).

/*not counting Bobbi Jo and the Outlaw whose primary selling point is a topless, pre-Wonder Woman Lynda Carter.


Amen.  Commando is a great movie.  But the direction has nothing to do with it.  A nutless monkey could direct a solid movie out of Arnold telling Sully, "I lied."
 
2014-03-28 11:56:38 AM

exparrot: Robert1966: "Firestarter" is simply not any good, and the things that make "Commando" enjoyable (dialogue and a self-aware Ahnuld) are not the director's doing.

'Firestarter' is exactly the same movie as 'Push' and the new show 'Believe'.
Young kid with powers they can't control is hunted by government agents, some who want to use her as weapon, some who want to protect her from herself.

And Drew Barrymore...little lip quivering, as she has to use her powers, after a lifetime of being told not to? very effective scene.

Hmmmm...add Violet from The Incredibles to that list of trope examples.


You're misrepresenting the story.  The girl is a creation of a government agency, but lived a normal life when she displayed no powers.  Once her powers manifest, they want her back.  No one is trying to use her as a weapon and no one is trying to protect her from herself.

I like this story a lot and I think this is one example where a reboot is called for. The movie was just not good at all.  George C Scott was a top notch actor but wrong for that role, and that was only one of the problems that movie had.
 
2014-03-28 12:00:06 PM

Birnone: The girl is a creation of a government agency


It has been a long time, but I don't remember that.  I vaguely remember it being like a family trait, with the father being able to convince someone a snake was biting them or whatever.
 
2014-03-28 12:37:09 PM

fusillade762: timujin: Sometime last year I went on a couple of dates with the girl who was assistant to the director for this flick.  She told me about it, so I went home and looked it up on IMDB.  When I saw that he'd done things like Firestarter and Commando, I just wondered what the fark happened that he'd sunk to this point.  Maybe it's just me, but this is kind of sad.

Could be worse. He could be John McTiernan (director of Die Hard, Predator and Hunt for Red October)


Could be even worse.  He could be Tony Scott.
 
2014-03-28 01:46:27 PM

Smackledorfer: Birnone: The girl is a creation of a government agency

It has been a long time, but I don't remember that.  I vaguely remember it being like a family trait, with the father being able to convince someone a snake was biting them or whatever.


never watched the movie... but the premise of the book seemed plausibly interesting... the 60s-70s era "because why the fark not?" research ideas of using lsd-dream-testing to single out folks showing signs of paranormal ability, then manipulating them into breeding stronger and stronger talents?  not really that impossible, makes for easy suspension of disbelief without jumping off the deep-end into the realms of scifi/fantasy... throw in someone pissed off because they found out what the project they were in was REALLY about, and "ta-daa!" you've got a pretty good plot to run with...
 
2014-03-28 06:55:12 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: fusillade762: timujin: Sometime last year I went on a couple of dates with the girl who was assistant to the director for this flick.  She told me about it, so I went home and looked it up on IMDB.  When I saw that he'd done things like Firestarter and Commando, I just wondered what the fark happened that he'd sunk to this point.  Maybe it's just me, but this is kind of sad.

Could be worse. He could be John McTiernan (director of Die Hard, Predator and Hunt for Red October)

Could be even worse.  He could be Tony Scott.


Point.
 
2014-03-29 12:37:54 AM

abhorrent1: How could they swim with those tiny arms?


Backstroke.
 
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