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(New Zealand Herald)   I'll be damned, evangelical church finally offers Holy Oil cure-all for everything from cancer to strokes to bladder problems. Why yes, for a small fee, why do you ask?   (nzherald.co.nz) divider line 47
    More: Asinine, heart defect, Lord Jesus Christ, strokes, cancers  
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2940 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2014 at 8:38 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-27 07:58:40 PM
Can it regrow amputated limbs?
 
2014-03-27 08:11:37 PM
Is it Holy Snake Oil?
 
2014-03-27 08:32:03 PM
Sounds like Obamacare.
 
2014-03-27 08:42:36 PM

fusillade762: Can it regrow amputated limbs?


Why yes ,Yes it can   here let me sell you an ample -u tee supply.
 
2014-03-27 08:44:37 PM
And the Brazilian founder of the church behind this scam has become a billionaire off of the tithes of his followers. Color me shocked.
 
2014-03-27 08:44:54 PM

This About That: Is it Holy Snake Oil?


Snake oil? That sounds like the Debbil's work!
 
2014-03-27 08:44:57 PM
How does it mix with Kool-Aid?
 
2014-03-27 08:47:45 PM
Well I bet it might help with relationships and marriages.   Olive oil makes a great lube....  So Popeye tells me.
 
2014-03-27 08:48:11 PM
When pushed by the Herald for evidence, Bishop Victor Silva said the oil could not cure illness. Using it was an act of faith, he said, and faith could help in the restorative process.

Harnessing the placebo effect?  Sounds suspiciously like witchcraft, bishop.
 
2014-03-27 08:48:23 PM
Did subby mention a "fee" of some kind?

/cause I'm not seeing it
//but then I'm a crappy skimmer
 
2014-03-27 08:53:14 PM

elkboy: Did subby mention a "fee" of some kind?

/cause I'm not seeing it
//but then I'm a crappy skimmer


Well, there's no fee for the first vial of oil if you go to the Sunday service. But donations are strongly encouraged. And by that they mean STRONGLY "encouraged" if you get what I mean.
 
2014-03-27 08:55:07 PM
Well, why the hell not? People have been throwing their money at churches for hundreds of years with nothing to show for it, at least now they will get snake oil.
 
2014-03-27 08:56:49 PM
Sounds like the doTerra people.

"Doctors are only in it for the money!  You should totally join my pyramid scheme instead!!!!"
 
2014-03-27 08:58:37 PM
Holy shiat!
 
2014-03-27 08:58:55 PM
Meh... there are a lot of offerings out there for many decades,  that have more to do with making someone think it will help.       Hell, the doctor in our home town had lots of brown and blue medicine bottles in his office to give patients medicine at an office visit.   But there was one jar that was 5 time as large and it was the most often used.

I knew the Doc's son and I asked him what that was because it was the most often prescribed by the Doc.

His son, who also went on to be a doc said 'Sugar Pills'.   They charged for them also.
 
2014-03-27 09:04:13 PM

elkboy: Did subby mention a "fee" of some kind?

/cause I'm not seeing it
//but then I'm a crappy skimmer


What ever the going price for olive oil is I guess.
Does it cure a burning bush?
 
2014-03-27 09:04:55 PM
Will it help me play the piano?
 
2014-03-27 09:07:26 PM

ClavellBCMI: And the Brazilian founder of the church behind this scam has become a billionaire off of the tithes of his followers. Color me shocked.


Agreed.

However, headline is misleading. FTFA:

A "generous amount of oil", in cross-shaped bottles, would be free to whoever attended the Sunday event... No oil would be sold.

"Concerning the oil, we don't claim it has healing powers but we believe that faith in God does. Anointing with oil is an act of faith.
"The church does not have specialist medical expertise so people who present themselves at church with an illness are always advised to seek a medical diagnosis from their GP.
"Furthermore, anyone claiming to have been healed whilst attending a [church] service is invariably referred to their doctor because the [church] only recognises healings that have been confirmed by a qualified medical practitioner."
In small print in the newsletter, the church offered the disclaimer: "The UCKG Help Centre does not claim to heal people but believes that God can through the power of faith. Always follow your doctor's instructions."


Nowhere is a fee mentioned, nor sales. In fact, the opposite is stated, along with "go to see a doctor because we do not recognize anything that has not been confirmed by a doctor."

Not saying this guy isn't a scam artist (a billionaire from church tithes? Can I weld the lid on his basket to hell?), but wow. This headline's even more misleading than the Michelle Obama clickbait from this morning.
 
2014-03-27 09:09:47 PM
The last paragraph says it helps with homosexuality, which is probably true but not in the way they intended.
 
2014-03-27 09:12:37 PM

fusillade762: Can it regrow amputated limbs?


Done in one
 
2014-03-27 09:13:54 PM

Seasons I'v Withered: fusillade762: Can it regrow amputated limbs?

Why yes ,Yes it can   here let me sell you an ample -u tee supply.


anuran: fusillade762: Can it regrow amputated limbs?

Done in one


Brilliant. I just came here to ask if it cured herpes and ebola; asking for  friend of course.
 
2014-03-27 09:19:27 PM
ajmacdonaldjr.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-27 09:22:54 PM
There's been a confusion. It's actually just "Holly" oil.
 
2014-03-27 09:24:57 PM

DoBeDoBeDo: Sounds like the doTerra people.

"Doctors are only in it for the money!  You should totally join my pyramid scheme instead!!!!"


Yeah, no. More like the opposite. At least doTerra publishes their reams and reams of scientific research to back up their products, and is completely transparent on processes, sourcing, and the well accepted science behind why each product does what it does. There is no dearth of accepted and respected leaders in the medical fields to vouch for many of their products.

But you can go along and lump them in with magical-aura, snake-oil, crystal vibration people if you want. Your loss.
 
2014-03-27 09:31:42 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-03-27 09:32:40 PM

ISO15693: DoBeDoBeDo: Sounds like the doTerra people.

"Doctors are only in it for the money!  You should totally join my pyramid scheme instead!!!!"

Yeah, no. More like the opposite. At least doTerra publishes their reams and reams of scientific research to back up their products, and is completely transparent on processes, sourcing, and the well accepted science behind why each product does what it does. There is no dearth of accepted and respected leaders in the medical fields to vouch for many of their products.

But you can go along and lump them in with magical-aura, snake-oil, crystal vibration people if you want. Your loss.


Alternative medicine sold using MLM? Who could argue against that? They have an essential oil for everything you can think of!
 
2014-03-27 09:44:36 PM

big pig peaches: The last paragraph says it helps with homosexuality, which is probably true but not in the way they intended.


Oh my!
 
2014-03-27 09:49:44 PM

noblewolf: elkboy: Did subby mention a "fee" of some kind?

/cause I'm not seeing it
//but then I'm a crappy skimmer

What ever the going price for olive oil is I guess.
Does it cure a burning bush?


No, but burning bush cures crabs.
 
2014-03-27 09:51:40 PM

Shakin_Haitian: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


WTF with the face?
 
2014-03-27 09:56:08 PM
Meh.  It's been done.  Get your own material, Bishop Scam Artist.

mindprod.com
 
2014-03-27 09:59:11 PM

fusillade762: Can it regrow amputated limbs?


That requires Stormlight.
 
2014-03-27 10:02:54 PM
i1280.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-27 10:09:51 PM
Nothing but piss and ink.
 
2014-03-27 10:18:01 PM
Olive oil?  What has the world come to when hucksters become so cheap that they go about sourcing their scam oil from anything other than genuine snake?
 
2014-03-27 10:37:04 PM
Sounds like Hobby Lobby has a new insurance provider.
 
2014-03-27 11:03:59 PM
 Lorenzo is intrigued:

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-03-27 11:06:17 PM

TheDumbBlonde: Sounds like Obamacare.


nah, it's alot cheaper than obamacare, and probably better
 
2014-03-27 11:13:08 PM

Whatchoo Talkinbout: noblewolf: elkboy: Did subby mention a "fee" of some kind?

/cause I'm not seeing it
//but then I'm a crappy skimmer

What ever the going price for olive oil is I guess.
Does it cure a burning bush?

No, but burning bush cures crabs.


Do I have to climb a mountain to get one?
 
2014-03-28 12:06:49 AM
Right side of Bishop Snake Oil's face in the picture: Award winning mole or microphone?
 
2014-03-28 12:25:25 AM
Religion: The second oldest profession.
 
2014-03-28 01:09:09 AM

big pig peaches: The last paragraph says it helps with homosexuality, which is probably true but not in the way they intended.


I think I snorted hard enough to lodge part of a gummi bear in my nose. It stings a bit.
 
2014-03-28 02:52:15 AM
and cue up the Tim Minchin song.
 
2014-03-28 03:12:35 AM

ISO15693: DoBeDoBeDo: Sounds like the doTerra people.

"Doctors are only in it for the money!  You should totally join my pyramid scheme instead!!!!"

Yeah, no. More like the opposite. At least doTerra publishes their reams and reams of scientific research to back up their products, and is completely transparent on processes, sourcing, and the well accepted science behind why each product does what it does. There is no dearth of accepted and respected leaders in the medical fields to vouch for many of their products.

But you can go along and lump them in with magical-aura, snake-oil, crystal vibration people if you want. Your loss.


Legitimate products are not sold through multi-level marketing. The ONLY reason to use a multi-level marketing scheme is because you're not confident the product actually performs as advertised, and you need another source of related income to keep the business afloat.

Seriously, give me a single reason multi-level marketing makes sense for someone to implement it with an actual, non-bullshiat product.
 
2014-03-28 04:57:53 AM
blog.livetweetapp.com
 
2014-03-28 09:03:05 AM
It no different than what you see on tv in the US on an almost daily schedule. Usually it occurs at the 5am-7am slots when the televangelists take the air. to tell you about their miracle smoothie, miracle water, miracle oil, or how God is mad because people are being healed without paying for it sometimes and how the current enemy of the week is clearly the bad guys described in the bible as opposed to the former bad guys who are now our friends who I am quite sure we never said were the evil forces of the antichrist and I deny your video that says anything to the contrary.

Most the time though its the old you give me all your money and God will give you back 100 fold shtick that is very popular nowadays in the get rich quick scheme megachurches. You don't even have to give away scam bottles of oil that way and save on postage.
 
2014-03-28 10:00:20 AM

nytmare: ISO15693: DoBeDoBeDo: Sounds like the doTerra people.

"Doctors are only in it for the money!  You should totally join my pyramid scheme instead!!!!"

Yeah, no. More like the opposite. At least doTerra publishes their reams and reams of scientific research to back up their products, and is completely transparent on processes, sourcing, and the well accepted science behind why each product does what it does. There is no dearth of accepted and respected leaders in the medical fields to vouch for many of their products.

But you can go along and lump them in with magical-aura, snake-oil, crystal vibration people if you want. Your loss.

Alternative medicine sold using MLM? Who could argue against that? They have an essential oil for everything you can think of!


But SCIENCE!   Rub some peppermint on it and no more cancer!

The best was my FB feed when a couple hospitals started using their shiat, the doTerra people blew up about how awesome it was.  So I looked it up, they were diffusing the oils so the place didn't smell like.....hospital.   It's a miracle cure!!!!!
 
2014-03-28 01:48:27 PM
Can it do anything about that hideous growth above his neck?
 
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