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(Newser)   Nearly half of young men say they were coerced into sex; other half want it to be known that they are available for coercion   (newser.com) divider line 81
    More: Unlikely, coercion, CBS Reports  
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3643 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2014 at 5:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-27 07:53:56 PM  

flondrix: "Verbally compelled?"  What they heck does that mean?

And I thought that some of the men who reported coercion would have been coerced by other men, but the article doesn't appear to address that.


I would have thought that too.  Assuming gays are assholes at the same rate that heteros are, it'd be about 5-10% of cases.  But I bet the victims are very, very unlikely to report it.
 
2014-03-27 07:55:13 PM  

Slam1263: bughunter: If by 'coerced' do you mean being invited over to the house of a smoking hot girl that you have a raging boner for, only to find her and her ugly friend waiting for you... you are then treated to the smoking hot one dancing in tight cutoff shorts on top of her coffee table while the fugly one takes off her blouse and starts rubbing your crotch thru your jeans?

And then the smoking hot one leaves you alone with the ugly one?

Yeah.  Mark me down in the first column.

Sorry.

But if I dropped my shorts, you'd be upset.

Boners tend to do that to guys.


Not necessarily.
 
2014-03-27 08:09:35 PM  
It happened to me. Of course, I discussed this issue with a third wave feminist who immediately chastized me for being the agressor that probably raped the poor defenseless woman with my horrible penis.

(She had 10 years, 6 inches and 100 pounds on me, and wouldn't take no for an answer... These days I've made up the years and pounds and can say "no" a little more forcefully, even if saying "no" might end me up in county lockup)
 
2014-03-27 08:26:50 PM  

ReapTheChaos: foxyshadis: Not a single one of you guys can think of a time when you've been too busy, angry, stressed, distracted or whatever to want sex, but you got talked into it anyway, maybe just to keep her happy? Seriously?

Yes, but that's not coercion. Coercion is defined as: The practice of persuading someone to do something by using force, intimidation or threats in order to produce a desired result.


That's how you and Noah Webster would define it, yes, but the study's authors used a rather more broad definition. They include nagging, begging, peer pressure, seduction, and something called "internal obligation" at one end, moving up to intimidation, threat, and rape-rape.

http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-a0035915.pdf

Page 6 of the report, page 7 of the .pdf
 
2014-03-27 08:29:30 PM  

flondrix: "Verbally compelled?"  What they heck does that mean?


"Hey, do you think maybe -I- could have an orgasm once?"

"*Male sighs* ALRIGHT! If it'll shut you up!"
 
2014-03-27 08:46:06 PM  
I wish I was coerced into sex when younger, hell I could use it now as well.
 
2014-03-27 08:50:39 PM  
 
2014-03-27 08:57:59 PM  

blacksho89: ReapTheChaos: foxyshadis: Not a single one of you guys can think of a time when you've been too busy, angry, stressed, distracted or whatever to want sex, but you got talked into it anyway, maybe just to keep her happy? Seriously?

Yes, but that's not coercion. Coercion is defined as: The practice of persuading someone to do something by using force, intimidation or threats in order to produce a desired result.

That's how you and Noah Webster would define it, yes, but the study's authors used a rather more broad definition. They include nagging, begging, peer pressure, seduction, and something called "internal obligation" at one end, moving up to intimidation, threat, and rape-rape.

http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-a0035915.pdf

Page 6 of the report, page 7 of the .pdf


Pretty much what I figured they did. They had a preconceived agenda, so they set out to prove it by "broadening" the definition until they got enough yes answers to do so.
 
2014-03-27 08:58:11 PM  
Clicked through to the actual study. One of the quotes for verbal coercion was a girl asking a guy to go down on her, which the young man labeled as "begging." Methinks that the young lad probably didn't ever or very often do that. That's not coercion.
 
2014-03-27 09:00:57 PM  
My first time I was the young prize to a kinky dominant female aggressor probably over twice my age but I can't say it took much coercion to get me to the point where I couldn't move my limbs or say anything. After that things got weird but still, no regrets.
 
2014-03-27 09:07:46 PM  

fredbox: It happened to me. Of course, I discussed this issue with a third wave feminist who immediately chastized me for being the agressor that probably raped the poor defenseless woman with my horrible penis.

(She had 10 years,

6 inches and 100 pounds on me, and wouldn't take no for an answer... These days I've made up the years and pounds and can say "no" a little more forcefully, even if saying "no" might end me up in county lockup)

Sure that was a woman?
 
2014-03-27 09:15:17 PM  

noblewolf: fredbox: It happened to me. Of course, I discussed this issue with a third wave feminist who immediately chastized me for being the agressor that probably raped the poor defenseless woman with my horrible penis.

(She had 10 years, 6 inches and 100 pounds on me, and wouldn't take no for an answer... These days I've made up the years and pounds and can say "no" a little more forcefully, even if saying "no" might end me up in county lockup)

Sure that was a woman?


I mean height. Given what transpired I was able to confirm female organs. I can only guess that she was born with them.
 
2014-03-27 09:24:33 PM  
I've had sex I didn't really want because I felt obliged to.

This "men always want sex and there's no such thing as bad sex from the guy's perspective" meme needs to die. Sex does not always fix everything, nor do all men want sex at any moment with any woman, just because we're men.
 
2014-03-27 09:56:51 PM  
Nice, according to FARK you're a not a man unless you want to be balls-deep inside a female at all times, regardless of her age/looks/etc.

Sex isn't all fun and games if you're a guy. Pregnancy, STDs, etc, and you're farked. I for one don't want to fark everything that moves.
 
2014-03-27 09:57:28 PM  

Gothnet: I've had sex I didn't really want because I felt obliged to.

This "men always want sex and there's no such thing as bad sex from the guy's perspective" meme needs to die. Sex does not always fix everything, nor do all men want sex at any moment with any woman, just because we're men.


What a strange thing to say. Are you talking about being offered sex as a way to make up for being mistreated or other kinds of transgressions? If so, what you say is true, it doesn't fix anything. Pity sex, "make-up" sex, it's patronizing, like thinking you can be forgiven for your misdeeds simply by making someone laugh or smile (or in this case, orgasm).

Guys who do fall for this simply because they're horny get everything they deserve. I fell for this for years. Such guys might operate on a base instinct and the sex is enjoyable on a physical level but over time it will eat away at your self respect and kill the intimacy between you. People in established relationships should say no to mercy/pity sex regardless of what their genitals may be telling them.
 
2014-03-27 10:00:20 PM  

Fafai: mercy/pity sex


This is wrong. I mean more like "you're not allowed to be mad at me after I do you this favor" sex. Just say no!
 
2014-03-27 10:08:51 PM  
This headline reminded me of Sorcerer Hunters for some reason.

www.coolbuddy.com
Coercion isn't always unwanted.
 
2014-03-27 10:32:25 PM  
Seriously some farkers need their heads examined. But misandry is acceptable socially since men as the 'aggressors' cannot ever be 'victims.' The fact that people continue to insist that men are somehow rewarded by being raped or sexually assaulted shows the implicit sexism in society. If you can't see how this represents 'blame the victim' and 'minimize the abuse' strategies than congratulations, guys you now have a free pass to say 'she was asking for it' or 'well she didn't say "no".' Ladies, no more complaining about the 'I would have lost my job/promotion/grade if I didn't suck his dick.'

Power dynamics are not gender specific, people in a position of power can and do use it to do bad things to those they have power over, including mothers, sisters, nurses, teachers, doctors, babysitters etc etc etc. If a woman is having sex with a 14 year old boy in her class, it doesn't matter if "he was into it" it is still rape, just like it is when a man has sex with the 14 year old girl who has been stripping for him on webcam for weeks. Regardless of how the minor feels about it at the time, they are still minors and it is still rape, or are you okay with NAMBLA. But one does love female rape apologists.
 
2014-03-27 10:57:43 PM  
:: Pretty much what I figured they did. They had a preconceived agenda, so they set out to prove it by "broadening" the definition until they got enough yes answers to do so.

The definition of rape didnt always include the use of alcohol. Now it does. I suspect their seeking to expand the definition female on male rape to examine what's really going on instead of using overly strict definitions.
 
2014-03-27 11:01:53 PM  

wi11ow: you okay with NAMBLA


Marlin Brando was a great man with many "looks" in his life, just like Elvis. If people want to honor that, who are you to stand in their way?
 
2014-03-27 11:03:26 PM  
When you restrict the definition of rape for men to forcible anal penetration then yes it is rather hard for a woman to rape a man or ever be an aggressor in a rape so expanding it makes sense. Most feminists and sex abuse researchers also expand the legal definition with operating definitions.
 
2014-03-28 01:51:51 AM  
Oh they are nuts, this cannot possibly be true...
except the part about "The unwanted sex, however, did not appear to affect the young men's self-esteem."
That I believe.
 
2014-03-28 02:34:56 AM  

wi11ow: But misandry is acceptable socially since men as the 'aggressors' cannot ever be 'victims.'


Misandry my arse.  Piss off back to the Mens Right subreddit.

I can absolutely guarantee that of all the arsehole posters in this thread making fun of men and boys who have been sexually assaulted ("coerced") that 99% of them are men.  The fact that this thread has an "unlikely" tag - and that that's considered just fine with the maintainers of this website - is appalling.  Haha, teenage boys being coerced into sex, yeah right, like that happens, how funny!

It's men hating on men as yet another symptom of misogyny.  Men devaluing other men, because they've "let" themselves be treated like females.  Real men always want sex, and there's something wrong (non-male) with them if they don't.  Real men can't be sexually assaulted - that happens to women, because women are weak and men are strong.  You wouldn't want to be a woman would you?  That's the worse thing in the world to be.

I'm sure all the men on fark who have been sexually assaulted by women feel really great about this place right now.  But they can blame men for this disgusting attitude, not women, and not your imaginary "misandry".
 
2014-03-28 03:26:24 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: I'm sure all the men on fark who have been sexually assaulted by women feel really great about this place right now. But they can blame men for this disgusting attitude, not women, and not your imaginary "misandry".



Erm, misandry just means hate for men, it doesn't say anything about who's doing the hating.
 
2014-03-28 05:50:23 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: wi11ow: But misandry is acceptable socially since men as the 'aggressors' cannot ever be 'victims.'

Misandry my arse.  Piss off back to the Mens Right subreddit.

I can absolutely guarantee that of all the arsehole posters in this thread making fun of men and boys who have been sexually assaulted ("coerced") that 99% of them are men.  The fact that this thread has an "unlikely" tag - and that that's considered just fine with the maintainers of this website - is appalling.  Haha, teenage boys being coerced into sex, yeah right, like that happens, how funny!

It's men hating on men as yet another symptom of misogyny.  Men devaluing other men, because they've "let" themselves be treated like females.  Real men always want sex, and there's something wrong (non-male) with them if they don't.  Real men can't be sexually assaulted - that happens to women, because women are weak and men are strong.  You wouldn't want to be a woman would you?  That's the worse thing in the world to be.

I'm sure all the men on fark who have been sexually assaulted by women feel really great about this place right now.  But they can blame men for this disgusting attitude, not women, and not your imaginary "misandry".


You act as if you two are in total disagreement, yet the only thing you seem to disagree on is which words to use. Apparently some words are too emotionally laden and have too many meanings for different people...
 
2014-03-28 05:58:20 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: I can absolutely guarantee that of all the arsehole posters in this thread making fun of men and boys who have been sexually assaulted ("coerced") that 99% of them are men.


Yeah, now look at the definitions that were quoted from the report. The numbers are bullshiat.
 
2014-03-28 08:21:48 AM  

Maud Dib: MaudlinMutantMollusk: So, nearly half of young men get caught by the girl's father?


Or cornered by amorous fat chicks.

[luckygrimdotorg.files.wordpress.com image 175x352]


This happened to me when I was fourteen.  I can't say it scarred me for life, but there was a lot of confusion and shame at the time.
 
2014-03-28 08:27:39 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: I'm sure all the men on fark who have been sexually assaulted by women feel really great about this place right now. But they can blame men for this disgusting attitude, not women, and not your imaginary "misandry".


I'm one of those men and I certainly don't feel great about this place. Too much hate speech against certain groups is allowed around here for my tastes. I'd really like to hear your insight on how sexual assault against men is the fault of men, please enlighten us! Do you even know what misandry means? Are you capable of applying a consistent standard on misandry and misogyny or are you just a troll?
 
2014-03-28 09:56:01 AM  

bughunter: If by 'coerced' do you mean being invited over to the house of a smoking hot girl that you have a raging boner for, only to find her and her ugly friend waiting for you... you are then treated to the smoking hot one dancing in tight cutoff shorts on top of her coffee table while the fugly one takes off her blouse and starts rubbing your crotch thru your jeans?

And then the smoking hot one leaves you alone with the ugly one?

Yeah.  Mark me down in the first column.


Me too. I wised up and quit going over after only 27 times though.
 
2014-03-28 03:02:43 PM  

DerAppie: Serious Post on Serious Thread: DerAppie: I can see that the people in this thread are already making comments advancing the rape culture we live in.

Nice going on the victim blaming. "If he didn't want to have sex he wouldn't have been male" isn't a good excuse.

/Am I doing this right?

No, you're doing it stupid.

Generalizing from a blurb of an article suggesting drunk people hook up and might later have regrets to ZOMG U R RAPEY is stupid.

You are ignoring reality, human nature, variations on cultural and social constructs of gender and sexuality while simultaneously undermining violent or vicious sexually predatory behavior.

Congrats. You are part of the problem.

Well, at least I get troll points because someone bit. "Am I doing it right" was, in my not very humble opinion, a clear enough hint that I was being facetious. Let alone the ridiculous statement that people shouldn't be born male if they don't always want sex.

/Wait... you aren't counter trolling, are you?
//I've been written of as a MRA and/or ridiculed on Fark for claiming that a drunk hookup isn't rape and that the statistics are bullshiat because nobody applies the definitions in the same way anyway
///Even if they were to agree what the definitions were


Facetious?!

I don't condone anal rape asshole.
 
2014-03-28 09:07:04 PM  

if_i_really_have_to: wi11ow: But misandry is acceptable socially since men as the 'aggressors' cannot ever be 'victims.'

Misandry my arse.  Piss off back to the Mens Right subreddit.

I can absolutely guarantee that of all the arsehole posters in this thread making fun of men and boys who have been sexually assaulted ("coerced") that 99% of them are men.  The fact that this thread has an "unlikely" tag - and that that's considered just fine with the maintainers of this website - is appalling.  Haha, teenage boys being coerced into sex, yeah right, like that happens, how funny!

It's men hating on men as yet another symptom of misogyny.  Men devaluing other men, because they've "let" themselves be treated like females.  Real men always want sex, and there's something wrong (non-male) with them if they don't.  Real men can't be sexually assaulted - that happens to women, because women are weak and men are strong.  You wouldn't want to be a woman would you?  That's the worse thing in the world to be.

I'm sure all the men on fark who have been sexually assaulted by women feel really great about this place right now.  But they can blame men for this disgusting attitude, not women, and not your imaginary "misandry".


Mmm. Poe's Law.
 
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