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(Uproxx)   The first trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is... um, well, at least Megan Fox will be jumping on a trampoline at some point   (uproxx.com) divider line 142
    More: Interesting, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Megan Fox, trampolines, trailers, Shredder, Goonies, turtles  
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4037 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Mar 2014 at 2:43 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



142 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-27 01:22:52 PM  
So...white Shredder and gigantic EXTREME!!! turtles?

/I always kind of liked when April would look down at them and lecture them like little kids when they screwed up.
 
2014-03-27 01:24:48 PM  
Oh for f*ck's sake...
 
2014-03-27 01:26:50 PM  
This hasn't completely turned me off from the movie, but it's not in my 'must see on opening day or weekend' list.
 
2014-03-27 01:28:42 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com

/creepy
 
2014-03-27 01:33:04 PM  
img833.imageshack.us
 
2014-03-27 01:52:30 PM  
At least it doesn't appear to have Vanilla Ice.
 
2014-03-27 01:53:43 PM  
i595.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-27 01:59:12 PM  
TMNT disaster porn.
 
2014-03-27 02:07:05 PM  

Sgt Otter: So...white Shredder and gigantic EXTREME!!! turtles?

/I always kind of liked when April would look down at them and lecture them like little kids when they screwed up.


It seems to imply that Shredder is Aprils dad
 
2014-03-27 02:15:13 PM  
Soo... Michael Bay is involved.  The turtles are ginormous.  The movie is a typical Bay 'splosion fest.  It appears that they are farking around with the origin story.  And is that white dude Shredder?

Yeah, I think I'll pass.
 
2014-03-27 02:20:14 PM  
this looks.... farking terrible.
 
2014-03-27 02:27:48 PM  
I've never seen a single episode or even a minute of any of these movies. I vaguely remember reading the comic when I was a little kid though. By the time I was about 11, I think it was already too juvenile for my tastes and I was into the Smurfs.
 
2014-03-27 02:31:44 PM  
I don't think I enjoyed a single one of the original movies. I wasn't that big on the cartoon. I loved the original black and white comic by Eastman and Laird, the dark, brooding version of TMNT, four lost souls hell-bent on vengeance. Yes, I get the appeal of the "cowabunga, dude!" pizza munching turtles, and they were okay, but I always preferred the original incarnation. That, to me, is the source material that was already abandoned for what most people are nostalgic for. And I'll see this one, because I have a five year old boy who is completely obsessed with TMNT right now, and as long as he's happy, I'm happy. But, let's be honest. It's not like Michael Bay is rebooting "Citizen Kane" or "Lawrence of Arabia."
 
2014-03-27 02:49:04 PM  
Is Megan Fox still acting?

i.imgur.com

Trick question: she could never act!
 
2014-03-27 02:49:17 PM  
Ok, either Shredder has some giant mech suit or he gets mutated because there's no way he could beat out 4 super sized turtles.
 
2014-03-27 02:51:07 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img833.imageshack.us image 768x1024]


This one picture is better than anytihng that could be in that trailer.
 
2014-03-27 02:51:36 PM  

ArkAngel: Sgt Otter: So...white Shredder and gigantic EXTREME!!! turtles?

/I always kind of liked when April would look down at them and lecture them like little kids when they screwed up.

It seems to imply that Shredder is Aprils dad

.

One of the other things I read on the movie says Shredder worked with her dad.  Also, where the fark is Splinter?
 
2014-03-27 02:52:12 PM  
cdn.uproxx.com
Heeeeeeeeeey yoooooooouuuuuuuuu guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys!!!!!
 
2014-03-27 02:53:32 PM  

Sybarite: [31.media.tumblr.com image 640x357]

/creepy


It looks like the baby dinosaur from that horrible tv show.

3.bp.blogspot.com


How the hell was that a thing? fark the 90's.
 
2014-03-27 02:54:47 PM  
why did megan fox mess her face up so much?
 
2014-03-27 02:54:55 PM  
You'll have to look down to find Splinter.
 
2014-03-27 02:55:27 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: Also, where the fark is Splinter?


Maybe he's dead. He was killed in the original comic.
 
2014-03-27 02:59:17 PM  
sciencefiction.com
/hot
 
2014-03-27 03:01:58 PM  

FlashHarry: this looks.... farking terrible.


As soon as I saw "Michael Bay" in the credits I sighed and closed the tab.
 
2014-03-27 03:05:05 PM  
I'm... cautiously optimistic...
 
2014-03-27 03:05:20 PM  
I was ready to come in here and snark about how bad it looked, even though I'm a Bay fan (and knowing full well he didn't direct this).

Eh, I'll hold off.

This doesn't look like it's at Robocop 2014 and Shaylaman level of fail yet.  So, until a longer trailer and/or the movie releases, I'll withhold snark and remain optimistic.  CAUTIOUSLY optimistic.
 
2014-03-27 03:06:15 PM  

Space Station Wagon: The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img833.imageshack.us image 768x1024]

This one picture is better than anytihng that could be in that trailer.


img855.imageshack.us'

April is unimpressed
 
2014-03-27 03:06:32 PM  
As much as the Fark Hate Brigade will hate to admit it, I think this movie will (sadly) pull in Transformers-level cash. I expect this to be ~$350 million, maybe as high as $400 million. May God have mercy on us all...
 
2014-03-27 03:06:42 PM  

Clutch2013: I was ready to come in here and snark about how bad it looked, even though I'm a Bay fan (and knowing full well he didn't direct this).

Eh, I'll hold off.

This doesn't look like it's at Robocop 2014 and Shaylaman level of fail yet.  So, until a longer trailer and/or the movie releases, I'll withhold snark and remain optimistic.  CAUTIOUSLY optimistic.


Did you see Robocop 2014?
 
2014-03-27 03:07:15 PM  
And another one, 'cause I can

img20.imageshack.us
 
2014-03-27 03:09:56 PM  
I'm excited for the movie.
 
2014-03-27 03:11:13 PM  
If they are changing their origin into scientific experiment to create super heroes/warriors, why the hell would the scientists, unless guano loco, think to themselves "lets create super ninjas by mutating the worlds slowest creature into some sort of half human monstrosity."
 
2014-03-27 03:12:53 PM  

UncomfortableSilence: If they are changing their origin into scientific experiment to create super heroes/warriors, why the hell would the scientists, unless guano loco, think to themselves "lets create super ninjas by mutating the worlds slowest creature into some sort of half human monstrosity."


Because SCIENCE, duh!
 
2014-03-27 03:13:35 PM  

Publikwerks: Clutch2013: I was ready to come in here and snark about how bad it looked, even though I'm a Bay fan (and knowing full well he didn't direct this).

Eh, I'll hold off.

This doesn't look like it's at Robocop 2014 and Shaylaman level of fail yet.  So, until a longer trailer and/or the movie releases, I'll withhold snark and remain optimistic.  CAUTIOUSLY optimistic.

Did you see Robocop 2014?


Robocop 2014 rocked! But the bad guy (who acted smart up until then) went total retard at the end.

And I'm hopeful for this movie. April (from the first cartoon and the first couple of movies) is eye candy so Fox is perfect for the role. And the Turtles taking out a vehicle with his shell was kind of cool.

The white guy (and April's dad's friend) as Shredder would suck. Just a tired plot device to have everyone related to everyone else in the movie.

Time for some TURTLE POWER!
img811.imageshack.us
img812.imageshack.us
 
2014-03-27 03:17:52 PM  
Spoiler Alert:

April O'Neil gets recruited by the Foot Clan.

'cause toe thumbs.
 
2014-03-27 03:18:21 PM  

whosits_112: UncomfortableSilence: If they are changing their origin into scientific experiment to create super heroes/warriors, why the hell would the scientists, unless guano loco, think to themselves "lets create super ninjas by mutating the worlds slowest creature into some sort of half human monstrosity."

Because SCIENCE, duh!


Come on guys, it's easy to noodle it out. They try to make super warriors. Well it can't work, or we would have tons and tons of super warriors running around and the TMNT wouldn't be anything special. However if you drop the super soup down the sewer and it mixes with something (ie: new york water and/or pizza) and then works.... Well then you have the TMNT back story (damn near perfect to the comic) and you have the reason why you have the TMNT and not a whole host of other super warriors.

Really guy, you're not even trying.
 
2014-03-27 03:20:16 PM  
everybody keeps bashing on how the turtles look creepy..........how do you make human-turtle hybrid creatures that don't look odd and creepy? There is a lot there that indicates suckage. The CGI isn't one of them.
 
2014-03-27 03:20:30 PM  
I was with it until I saw the face.

good gosh...................the face....
....
the face......
.......
I see it when I close my eyes.........
......
I.....
....
the face.........
 
2014-03-27 03:22:27 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: whosits_112: UncomfortableSilence: If they are changing their origin into scientific experiment to create super heroes/warriors, why the hell would the scientists, unless guano loco, think to themselves "lets create super ninjas by mutating the worlds slowest creature into some sort of half human monstrosity."

Because SCIENCE, duh!

Come on guys, it's easy to noodle it out. They try to make super warriors. Well it can't work, or we would have tons and tons of super warriors running around and the TMNT wouldn't be anything special. However if you drop the super soup down the sewer and it mixes with something (ie: new york water and/or pizza) and then works.... Well then you have the TMNT back story (damn near perfect to the comic) and you have the reason why you have the TMNT and not a whole host of other super warriors.

Really guy, you're not even trying.


I'll need confirmation that the accident is what happened first.  All I had heard was speculation regarding them being an experiment in super soldiers.  In any case, I'll still need a Splinter or something to explain the training if it's an accident.
 
2014-03-27 03:23:13 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: whosits_112: UncomfortableSilence: If they are changing their origin into scientific experiment to create super heroes/warriors, why the hell would the scientists, unless guano loco, think to themselves "lets create super ninjas by mutating the worlds slowest creature into some sort of half human monstrosity."

Because SCIENCE, duh!

Come on guys, it's easy to noodle it out. They try to make super warriors. Well it can't work, or we would have tons and tons of super warriors running around and the TMNT wouldn't be anything special. However if you drop the super soup down the sewer and it mixes with something (ie: new york water and/or pizza) and then works.... Well then you have the TMNT back story (damn near perfect to the comic) and you have the reason why you have the TMNT and not a whole host of other super warriors.

Really guy, you're not even trying.


I read that in this guy's (assumed) voice...


cdn.alltheragefaces.com
 
2014-03-27 03:24:34 PM  

Publikwerks: Clutch2013: I was ready to come in here and snark about how bad it looked, even though I'm a Bay fan (and knowing full well he didn't direct this).

Eh, I'll hold off.

This doesn't look like it's at Robocop 2014 and Shaylaman level of fail yet.  So, until a longer trailer and/or the movie releases, I'll withhold snark and remain optimistic.  CAUTIOUSLY optimistic.

Did you see Robocop 2014?


Yeah...unfortunately.  On the bright side, it didn't cost me anything.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Yes, I'm a big fan of the 1987 original.  In spite of that, however, I really wanted to give this a chance, and there seemed to be a few moments where this version threatened to break out and actually do something.  Still, it never did, and I couldn't ever shake the feeling that this was some coked-up executive's bid for relevance.  Half of the principal cast looked like they didn't want to be there, and the other half tried way too hard.  And don't get me started on the suit.
 
2014-03-27 03:25:20 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Is Megan Fox still acting?

[i.imgur.com image 850x1274]

Trick question: she could never act!


4.bp.blogspot.com

i1130.photobucket.com

3.bp.blogspot.com

coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com

I don't care.
 
2014-03-27 03:26:17 PM  
Looks like Hollywood's really banking on legal weed in the next year or so.
 
2014-03-27 03:26:57 PM  
.....Fitchner is Shredder
He and April O'Neals father created the Turtles
The Turtles and Shredder are sworn enemies
why would Shredder create his own enemies?
 
2014-03-27 03:27:29 PM  

whosits_112: As much as the Fark Hate Brigade will hate to admit it, I think this movie will (sadly) pull in Transformers-level cash. I expect this to be ~$350 million, maybe as high as $400 million. May God have mercy on us all...


Worldwide? Sure. Domestically? There's no way this gets anywhere near that. If this hits $200m stateside, I would be surprised.
 
2014-03-27 03:28:03 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Publikwerks: Clutch2013: I was ready to come in here and snark about how bad it looked, even though I'm a Bay fan (and knowing full well he didn't direct this).

Eh, I'll hold off.

This doesn't look like it's at Robocop 2014 and Shaylaman level of fail yet.  So, until a longer trailer and/or the movie releases, I'll withhold snark and remain optimistic.  CAUTIOUSLY optimistic.

Did you see Robocop 2014?

Robocop 2014 rocked! But the bad guy (who acted smart up until then) went total retard at the end.

And I'm hopeful for this movie. April (from the first cartoon and the first couple of movies) is eye candy so Fox is perfect for the role. And the Turtles taking out a vehicle with his shell was kind of cool.

The white guy (and April's dad's friend) as Shredder would suck. Just a tired plot device to have everyone related to everyone else in the movie.

Time for some TURTLE POWER!
[img811.imageshack.us image 604x453]
[img812.imageshack.us image 480x639]



28.media.tumblr.com

TEENAGE MUTANT FAPPING LEMUR!
 
2014-03-27 03:29:15 PM  

UncomfortableSilence: If they are changing their origin into scientific experiment to create super heroes/warriors, why the hell would the scientists, unless guano loco, think to themselves "lets create super ninjas by mutating the worlds slowest creature into some sort of half human monstrosity."


Because they have organic armor? Why were turtles picked in the first place anyway?
 
2014-03-27 03:29:46 PM  
On a serious note, I'm glad that William Fichtner has gotten himself a franchise. That guy is just gold. I would go see the movie just for him alone.
 
2014-03-27 03:29:52 PM  
It will never be as good as the shiatty cartoon. They're desecrating my childhood!

/TMNT wasn't that great to begin with, this might be worse but it doesn't have much of a bar to clear to be better
 
2014-03-27 03:30:17 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: whosits_112: UncomfortableSilence: If they are changing their origin into scientific experiment to create super heroes/warriors, why the hell would the scientists, unless guano loco, think to themselves "lets create super ninjas by mutating the worlds slowest creature into some sort of half human monstrosity."

Because SCIENCE, duh!

Come on guys, it's easy to noodle it out. They try to make super warriors. Well it can't work, or we would have tons and tons of super warriors running around and the TMNT wouldn't be anything special. However if you drop the super soup down the sewer and it mixes with something (ie: new york water and/or pizza) and then works.... Well then you have the TMNT back story (damn near perfect to the comic) and you have the reason why you have the TMNT and not a whole host of other super warriors.

Really guy, you're not even trying.


But having April directly connected to the origin of the Turtles just seems completely unnecessary.

And holy crap do the designs of these turtles suck.
 
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