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(The Atlantic Cities)   Another FARK ready headline: "Protesters Use Sex Dolls to Rally Against Spain's Anti-Abortion Law"   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, Spain, Ministry of Justice, FEMEN  
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783 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2014 at 9:59 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

18 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2014-03-27 11:21:12 AM  
2014-03-27 01:52:34 PM  
ok now I'm just going for the fark record of a solo thread. never been done before AFAIK.
I'm in again b4 some jerkwater TFer decides to harsh my mellow.
2014-03-27 10:21:20 PM  
Is it possible for a Farker to have a solo thread? This has now gone beyond all reasonable realms of probability. Not one smartass farker's going to ruin it? Is this really happening?
2014-03-27 10:26:25 PM  
I must say it's delicious having my own thread. My own little part of the Internets, all to myself. What should I do now? I can post pix, use all my alts, anything I want. Well, I'm going to go get some likker and post later.
2014-03-27 10:41:39 PM  
OK so let's see.

allcelebsfree.comView Full Size
2014-03-27 10:44:10 PM  
...and a bit of this. "Gradually become agitated..."

leegovatos.comView Full Size
2014-03-27 10:50:56 PM  
There are ways in which an online dating profile can be said to provide a portion of one possible description of a point-nexus in this continuum at which I once existed and may occasionally exist again. Otherwise, I consider it patently impossible to pin down a human personality in five hundred million lines, much less nine paragraphs.
I might like the exercise of writing anyway, so there's that. In terms of an online profile, I thought the following:

If I were a girl reading it, I would have to be an extremely unusual person to be able to appreciate it. As a Shakespeare, Zelazny, Burroughs, Gibson and Joyce fan, I tend to write in a pretty f*cked-up manner. And you know chicks these days, they're so damn stupid they'd forget their heads if they weren't stuck on, haha just kidding. Of those with enough intelligence to understand (much less appreciate) such an article, 99.999% of them will be fat, ugly lumps of dough and grease who never leave the cat-ridden squalor they have created to stand as a hell-funded stage for their endless emotional passion plays - discordant tapestries woven of self-hate, jealousy, fear and anger, always sold out and playing to an audience of one. The fact of their intelligence becomes, in this instance, a horrid frozen mask, like a carven Aztec god, flashing in the bleak, stark light of lightning strikes on a cold, dim, humid November evening.... and then it starts raining.

If the online profile aspect of writing is a joke, then make it a good one. I reckon with a profile like I'd write, I could anticipate being contacted occasionally by self-absorbed flat-chested 5'8" pseudolesbian narcissists who will compete with me on every level possible because they'll be damned if any supposed-to-be-stupid monkey man is going to stain their preciously and precisely dyed "DAMN I'M GOOD" t-shirt.

Or, I'd hear from vapid, childlike fan-girls who absolutely love how you can make them think of things they never thought of before and yes the kids now live with their father, that bastard and wow you're in a band, and what did you say your name was again?

Yeh. I reckon I'll just skip it.
2014-03-27 10:59:34 PM  
Published in 1997: "A Religious History of the Internet"

In the 1950's, the archangel Dwight Eisenhower spoke: "Let there be the Advanced Research Projects Agency. Let this Agency go forth and be fruitful, and take back from those filthy Reds the lead in the spacerace." So the members of the ARPA went forth, and were fruitful. They labored long and hard, and found that telecommunications was their thing. "Ike, we're more inclined to send packets over networks than fly to Pluto, if it's all the same to you." But no response was heard, for Ike had gone forth. So the members went their way, working their Net and growing in knowhow and substance.

And it came to pass in the holy late sixties, ARPA begat ARPANET. The military had been going in unto ARPA for many years. But then one lonely group of peasants from the far district of Ucla spoke, thus: "Let the ARPANET come in unto us for awhile, and we shall see what she begets." And the sixties ended, and the seventies began, and the generations of these holy families began to multiply, for lo, they had become very fruitful. Strange and wonderful were the offspring of these holy unions during the seventies, for they had each their own Way of service, and each was become important to the Whole. And ARPANET begat NCP, and Telnet, and Ethernet, and SATNET, and UUCP, and UUCP begat USENET. And then, ARPANET begat one of the highest of the high, TCP/IP.
In the eighties did TCP/IP conquer, outperform, and force relinquishment of the holy NCP's birthright. NCP was no more; sad and quiet was its going. Certain associated workers under SATNET grew to enormous proportions, and after great gluttony during the early eighties did go on a diet of smaller chips and better maintenance, losing weight the while. ARPANET began the throes of expiration at about this time. UUCP then begat JUNET, which was USENET with funny writing, and DNS appeared from a heretofore unbeknownst holy family. Then, from yet another holy family was brought forth NSFNET.

Later, as was wont to happen in the Old Days, the closely-related TCP/IP went in unto USENET and begat NNTP. Then the Great Plague descended upon the holy families, and one-tenth of them were made to fall Ill and be Sick. The military considered stopping going in unto ARPANET. NSFNET grew strong and hale, a ready-for-anything kind of vibe. Then, the mood and desires of the others brought forth the mighty IRC. Some few months later, ARPANET, the Holy Mother of All Nets, finally let go life's rich pageant.

Archie, Gopher, WAIS, Veronica, and the immense Web Which Was World Wide came forth from the loins of their forebears. There was a great celebration of recruitment when the name was changed to the more holy World Wide Web, in the 38th year of Our Net. In retrospect, the Wise acknowledged the reincarnation of the Holiest of Holies, ARPANET, as "Internet".

Striking fear and suspicion into the populace at large, then were the divine bloodlines sullied by admixture. Compuserve, Prodigy, and AOL rushed the levels below the indwelling Holy Internet, making of them a noisome and mistake-ridden thing. Compuserve, the moneychanger which tutored the rest of this evil brood, did tax the peasants every time they left the welcomewindow. Prodigy did slap shut the collective electronic mouth, for three days and three nights at a time, while taxing the peasants on purchases of naught; and AOL was kicked from the Heavenly Highway for a reported 6.84 x 1010ns. The Internet exists yet today, with all its children, parading in life's rich pageant once again. But who can tell what rough beast slouches toward Silicon Valley, its hour yet to come round?
2014-03-27 11:01:08 PM  
OK let's see. I think I'll go drink with whatsername for awhile and maybe smoke a few, and hey a Xanax sounds good cause I like to party.
2014-03-27 11:15:48 PM  
Welcome back to my thread.

Girls I'd love to party with #1:
2014-03-27 11:18:14 PM  
Threw away my link, eh? OK.

static.cinemagia.roView Full Size
2014-03-27 11:19:59 PM  
Dudes I'd love to party with #1:

2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2014-03-27 11:21:28 PM  
Girls I'd love to party with #2:
2014-03-27 11:24:56 PM  
dammit fark.

celebpicker.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2014-03-27 11:27:04 PM  
Dudes I'd love to party with #2:

content6.flixster.comView Full Size
2014-03-28 12:22:04 AM  
say hello to my little friend

2014-03-28 04:29:40 AM  

2014-03-28 05:23:49 PM  
How long is it before a thread is closed? I guess we'll find out. Since every post may be my last one, I will add the following disclaimer to each post from now on, for the "recordkeeps". Ha.


So anyway, I want one of these:

img.fark.netView Full Size
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