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(The Atlantic Cities)   When you see hibernating ground squirrels do you think, (a) God's creations are adorable, (b) evolution is clever, or (c) I bet I could juggle them and they wouldn't wake up?   (theatlanticcities.com) divider line 57
    More: Strange, Eastern United States  
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7235 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2014 at 12:10 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-26 08:28:10 PM  
footage of scientists juggling squirrels is infuriatingly absent from YouTube

I can't imagine it will remain that way for long.
 
2014-03-26 08:35:44 PM  
I wish to register a complaint. I was promised squirrel juggling.
 
2014-03-26 08:42:43 PM  
Some people juggle geese.
 
2014-03-26 08:56:51 PM  

Saborlas: Some people juggle geese.


Others juggalos.
 
2014-03-26 09:04:16 PM  
Completely adorable little furry critter that will make you go "daw" -- until you realize they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!They also apparently carry a number of other nasty stuff that can turn your squirrel juggling event into a lengthy stay in the hospital or an even longer stay at the cemetery.  But the bottom line is they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!

This cannot be repeated often enough, especially in a forum like Fark frequented as it is by groups of young, hip, edgy people who are reputed to be occasional to regular users of alcoholic beverages who, when they have gotten drunk enough that they might see some sort of ironic value in juggling these squirrels.  I repeat they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE FER GAWD'S SAKE!!!
 
2014-03-26 09:38:00 PM  

Saborlas: Some people juggle geese.


That sounds like a recipe for...

*puts on sunglasses*

...irritable fowl syndrome.
 
2014-03-26 09:46:52 PM  

Prey4reign: Completely adorable little furry critter that will make you go "daw" -- until you realize they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!They also apparently carry a number of other nasty stuff that can turn your squirrel juggling event into a lengthy stay in the hospital or an even longer stay at the cemetery.  But the bottom line is they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!

This cannot be repeated often enough, especially in a forum like Fark frequented as it is by groups of young, hip, edgy people who are reputed to be occasional to regular users of alcoholic beverages who, when they have gotten drunk enough that they might see some sort of ironic value in juggling these squirrels.  I repeat they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE FER GAWD'S SAKE!!!


D - Kill the beady eyed bastards disguised in cute out fits before they spread disease and dig up my garden and flower beds.

/hate them
 
2014-03-27 12:15:19 AM  
Remember when people respected nature?
 
2014-03-27 12:18:55 AM  

Terrible Old Man: Remember when people respected nature?


Not really. I'm saddened by the lack of squirrel juggling.
 
2014-03-27 12:19:12 AM  

Terrible Old Man: Remember when people respected nature?


No, when was that? Before or after we wiped out the bison and drove the beavers from their dams?
 
2014-03-27 12:19:53 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-27 12:20:44 AM  
I heard there's some kid on Reddit who's got extra nuts, maybe that would rouse those little ground squirrels from their hibernation.
 
2014-03-27 12:22:01 AM  
Just because they're asleep doesn't mean they can't be hurt...
 
2014-03-27 12:24:28 AM  
Boobs of the ground we used to call them. That was back before the great boobie migration that left a generation of kids without a single boob to juggle.
 
2014-03-27 12:25:09 AM  
Reminds me a little bit of the infamous "Ferret Death Sleep".  I vividly remember going to the ferret room and finding a ferret wadded up under a cage or passed out in the middle of the floor lifeless.  I would grab them up and try to perform CPR on them, only to have them come around with a look that practically yelled " WHAT THE FARK DO YOU WANT?!?"

/They gave me that look a lot.
 
2014-03-27 12:36:28 AM  

Skyd1v: Reminds me a little bit of the infamous "Ferret Death Sleep".  I vividly remember going to the ferret room and finding a ferret wadded up under a cage or passed out in the middle of the floor lifeless.  I would grab them up and try to perform CPR on them, only to have them come around with a look that practically yelled " WHAT THE FARK DO YOU WANT?!?"

/They gave me that look a lot.


Well, they couldn't smell any worse.
 
2014-03-27 12:46:27 AM  

nytmare: Terrible Old Man: Remember when people respected nature?

No, when was that? Before or after we wiped out the bison and drove the beavers from their dams?


It was after we killed the last flock of passenger pigeons, but before the slash and burn method of clearing rainforests in Brazil.
 
2014-03-27 12:48:16 AM  
As long as it's not Mexican cat juggling again.
 
2014-03-27 12:48:35 AM  

fusillade762: footage of scientists juggling squirrels is infuriatingly absent from YouTube

I can't imagine it will remain that way for long.


"infuriatingly absent????"

How many people have been angrily searching the Web for "scientists juggling squirrels" only to be sorely disappointed? Even for Rule 34, that's a pretty niche market.
 
2014-03-27 12:51:40 AM  

EvilEgg: I wish to register a complaint. I was promised squirrel juggling


I also have been patiently waiting for squirrel juggling since this was in the feed
 
2014-03-27 12:58:40 AM  

JoieD'Zen: Prey4reign: Completely adorable little furry critter that will make you go "daw" -- until you realize they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!They also apparently carry a number of other nasty stuff that can turn your squirrel juggling event into a lengthy stay in the hospital or an even longer stay at the cemetery.  But the bottom line is they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!

This cannot be repeated often enough, especially in a forum like Fark frequented as it is by groups of young, hip, edgy people who are reputed to be occasional to regular users of alcoholic beverages who, when they have gotten drunk enough that they might see some sort of ironic value in juggling these squirrels.  I repeat they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE FER GAWD'S SAKE!!!

D - Kill the beady eyed bastards disguised in cute out fits before they spread disease and dig up my garden and flower beds.

/hate them


The best option other than trapping is to kill them, and they are good eating.  I have several large flower beds I garden in, even though i have plenty of property, easy to manage the beds.

So you kill, trap, or feed them.

I do a combination of hanging cds across a cord that move and flash in the wind(solar light to keep em flashing at night) to keep them from digging up my shiat.

I also make a spray out of boiled jalepenos, vinegar, and cayenne i lay down once a week cause it offends their widdle noses.

however, my garden is a little ghetto fab cause of them

i635.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-27 12:59:27 AM  
I remember watching a squirrel eat some mushrooms in my front yard once. It ran around in circles for hours. It would scramble halfway up a tree, fall off, land on its back, and then try to climb up again.

It was seriously tripping balls.
 
2014-03-27 01:02:30 AM  
"Why does my butthole feel
Like someone shoved a thermometer in it?"
 
2014-03-27 01:04:35 AM  

Prey4reign: until you realize they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!


The Bubonic plague is carried by fleas, not rodents.
 
2014-03-27 01:06:52 AM  
Another thing for Foamy to rant about.
 
2014-03-27 01:14:33 AM  
Between my dogs and cats - my yard was gleefully squirrel free for a decade.  After just a couple of weeks after moving out of the house - I came back to close up shop to find this pathetic site.

img.fark.net

/farking rats
 
2014-03-27 01:24:40 AM  

Skyd1v: Reminds me a little bit of the infamous "Ferret Death Sleep".  I vividly remember going to the ferret room and finding a ferret wadded up under a cage or passed out in the middle of the floor lifeless.  I would grab them up and try to perform CPR on them, only to have them come around with a look that practically yelled " WHAT THE FARK DO YOU WANT?!?"

/They gave me that look a lot.


I worked the petting zoo at our local science museum for a while in High School. I could take the ferrets, drape one over each hand, and let a crowd of 5 year old kids pet them- and they'd stay asleep. Ferrets are very good at napping.

theflatline: JoieD'Zen: Prey4reign: Completely adorable little furry critter that will make you go "daw" -- until you realize they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!They also apparently carry a number of other nasty stuff that can turn your squirrel juggling event into a lengthy stay in the hospital or an even longer stay at the cemetery.  But the bottom line is they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!

This cannot be repeated often enough, especially in a forum like Fark frequented as it is by groups of young, hip, edgy people who are reputed to be occasional to regular users of alcoholic beverages who, when they have gotten drunk enough that they might see some sort of ironic value in juggling these squirrels.  I repeat they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE FER GAWD'S SAKE!!!

D - Kill the beady eyed bastards disguised in cute out fits before they spread disease and dig up my garden and flower beds.

/hate them

The best option other than trapping is to kill them, and they are good eating.  I have several large flower beds I garden in, even though i have plenty of property, easy to manage the beds.

So you kill, trap, or feed them.

I do a combination of hanging cds across a cord that move and flash in the wind(solar light to keep em flashing at night) to keep them from digging up my shiat.

I also make a spray out of boiled jalepenos, vinegar, and cayenne i lay down once a week cause it offends their widdle noses.

however, my garden is a little ghetto fab cause of them

[i635.photobucket.com image 640x480]


Just a thought, but you are aware that the species that is possibly the single most effective small game predator on the planet is very common and widely available to keep as a pet, right?
 
2014-03-27 01:27:11 AM  
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-03-27 01:29:23 AM  
To be fair, that's a firm "c". I wouldn't be able to resist. Even knowing that such a thing is probably stupid and would net me a Fark thread, I'd try it.

/afraid to read article to see how badly I'd be maimed
 
2014-03-27 01:34:30 AM  

cptjeff: Just a thought, but you are aware that the species that is possibly the single most effective small game predator on the planet is very common and widely available to keep as a pet, right?


Yeah, really.

Flatline, why do you think we domesticated cats in the first place? ...to keep vermin out of food stores.
 
2014-03-27 01:36:51 AM  

Prey4reign: Completely adorable little furry critter that will make you go "daw" -- until you realize they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!They also apparently carry a number of other nasty stuff that can turn your squirrel juggling event into a lengthy stay in the hospital or an even longer stay at the cemetery.  But the bottom line is they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE!!!

This cannot be repeated often enough, especially in a forum like Fark frequented as it is by groups of young, hip, edgy people who are reputed to be occasional to regular users of alcoholic beverages who, when they have gotten drunk enough that they might see some sort of ironic value in juggling these squirrels.  I repeat they carry the BUBONIC PLAGUE FER GAWD'S SAKE!!!


And? Bubonic plague is easy enough to treat with antibiotics. No one in the civilized world should ever die from it. Juggle away.
 
2014-03-27 01:41:44 AM  
Last summer I saw a couple of squirrels chasing each other in the trees around my house.  Squirrels being squirrels, I thought, and focused my attention elsewhere.  A few minutes later I heard a sound of branches being knocked around then of a boot being dropped onto concrete.  Wondering what it was, I looked around for the sound.  There was nobody nearby, but there was a big blob of brown fur on the front sidewalk.  The hell?  Did that make that sound, I thought?  After about half a minute of seeking other possible answers the ball of fur jumped onto it's feet and into a "What the hell?" stance, with it's head at attention.  2 seconds later it bolts for the nearest visible tree.  The fall must have really scrambled it's brains, since as it approached the tree it's path curved away and it was running nearly sideways.  It tried a few times unsuccessfully to run towards the tree, missing each time.  Eventually it made it and started climbing, but it only made it a foot before it fell backwards towards the ground.  5 tries later it succeeded in climbing.  That's when the other squirrel started chasing it again.  It couldn't climb up very well, so they went around and around the trunk until the second one tired of the chase.

/csb?
 
2014-03-27 01:47:06 AM  

Ishkur: cptjeff: Just a thought, but you are aware that the species that is possibly the single most effective small game predator on the planet is very common and widely available to keep as a pet, right?

Yeah, really.

Flatline, why do you think we domesticated cats in the first place? ...to keep vermin out of food stores.


I have an 85 lb black chow chow who does a normally good job of keeping them away in the day, but she sleeps at night, and as much as would love a cat, she would not tolerate them.  However, these days she feels it is her job to keep the grim reaper away from my 84 year old father.

I think it is working, look at the size of her paw and that gangster lean.  Straight ballin.

i635.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-27 01:53:00 AM  

theflatline: I think it is working, look at the size of her paw and that gangster lean. Straight ballin.


I gotta admit: That's pretty balla. Just hangin' out like that. "Sup?"
 
2014-03-27 01:55:48 AM  

Ishkur: theflatline: I think it is working, look at the size of her paw and that gangster lean. Straight ballin.

I gotta admit: That's pretty balla. Just hangin' out like that. "Sup?"


Dog is crazy, sits up and leans back like a person.  She listens for the phone to ring, and if the answer machine picks up and she hears the voice of someone she does not like, she starts howling.

Same dog cries like a baby if i do not hug her first thing in the morning.
 
2014-03-27 02:36:49 AM  
Srere?

wpuploads.appadvice.com
 
2014-03-27 02:52:03 AM  
Roll the ugliness.

Also, didn't the Simpsons do this? I think there was an obscure law on the books in Springfield that outlawed it.
 
2014-03-27 02:57:23 AM  
Hilary Srere, a former squirrel scientist

She got kicked out of the fraternity for juggling squirrels?
 
2014-03-27 03:13:47 AM  

Prey4reign: BUBONIC PLAGUE FER GAWD'S SAKE!!!


Isn't bubonic plague easily cured with a dos of antibiotics these days?  Which is why there are only a handful of reported cases every year?
 
2014-03-27 03:23:04 AM  

WMittensRomney: Hilary Srere, a former squirrel scientist

She got kicked out of the fraternity for juggling squirrels?


No the money's better in professional juggling.
 
2014-03-27 04:39:08 AM  

Ishkur: cptjeff: Just a thought, but you are aware that the species that is possibly the single most effective small game predator on the planet is very common and widely available to keep as a pet, right?

Yeah, really.

Flatline, why do you think we domesticated cats in the first place? ...to keep vermin out of food stores.


Actually, the food stores were why cats domesticated us. Either way, it's been a pretty good partnership.
 
2014-03-27 05:07:42 AM  

nytmare: Terrible Old Man: Remember when people respected nature?

No, when was that? Before or after we wiped out the bison and drove the beavers from their dams?


I think it was somewhere between welcoming hungry wolves to the campfire and turning them into chihuahuas and French bulldogs. Possibly sometime before we hunted the mastodons and mammoths to extinction.
 
2014-03-27 05:15:49 AM  

theflatline: Ishkur: cptjeff: Just a thought, but you are aware that the species that is possibly the single most effective small game predator on the planet is very common and widely available to keep as a pet, right?

Yeah, really.

Flatline, why do you think we domesticated cats in the first place? ...to keep vermin out of food stores.

I have an 85 lb black chow chow who does a normally good job of keeping them away in the day, but she sleeps at night, and as much as would love a cat, she would not tolerate them.  However, these days she feels it is her job to keep the grim reaper away from my 84 year old father.

I think it is working, look at the size of her paw and that gangster lean.  Straight ballin.


Sweet Jesus that pic scared me! I was just scrolling the thread, on my iPhone, and the scroll landed on that pic, right as I was taking a sip of beer. My "flight or fight" instinct went off, with the hairs on the back of my head standing up, and a wave of goosebumps rolled down my back. Damn near choked on the beer, and very nearly painted my dog with the mouthful I spewed! I don't know if that was your intention with posting that pic, but bravo, you win this round.

/don't worry, it was only Coors
 
2014-03-27 05:16:52 AM  
fark.pbworks.com

You guys are slacking.
 
2014-03-27 06:46:08 AM  
How about you just leave them the fark alone?
 
2014-03-27 07:03:09 AM  

nytmare: Terrible Old Man: Remember when people respected nature?

No, when was that? Before or after we wiped out the bison and drove the beavers from their dams?


I think it was after that, but before they killed off all the passenger pigeons.
 
2014-03-27 07:04:45 AM  

kudayta: nytmare: Terrible Old Man: Remember when people respected nature?

No, when was that? Before or after we wiped out the bison and drove the beavers from their dams?

It was after we killed the last flock of passenger pigeons, but before the slash and burn method of clearing rainforests in Brazil.


Dammit, I should have read through first.
 
2014-03-27 07:10:53 AM  
i.imgur.com


Better than putting them down your pants for the purpose of betting.
 
2014-03-27 07:25:29 AM  
or even juggle it with other squirrels-and that last fact has been proven by god-honest science.

Scientists are just straight up assholes.*

*For the betterment of mankind.
 
2014-03-27 07:37:41 AM  
D) being motionless makes it easier to blast em to keep them from emptying the bird feeders and digging up the gardens.

/farkin tree rats
 
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