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(io9)   The world is secretly controlled by a) the Order of the Illuminati, b) lizard people, c) parasites   (io9.com) divider line 79
    More: Scary, TED Talks  
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3732 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Mar 2014 at 5:57 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-26 04:07:45 PM
Watch out for people with humped backs...
 
2014-03-26 04:10:45 PM
Bankers.

So...option C.
 
2014-03-26 04:37:22 PM
"Eat prey, love."

[golf clap]
 
2014-03-26 04:55:35 PM
Cat people being the #1 group affected.
 
2014-03-26 05:29:48 PM
Well, they're not doing a very good job.
 
2014-03-26 05:39:51 PM
Can't it be all three?
 
2014-03-26 05:51:16 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Can't it be all three?


Yes.
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-26 05:52:05 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Can't it be all three?


The Illuminati are lizard people parasites? I can go with that.
 
2014-03-26 05:55:36 PM

fusillade762: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Can't it be all three?

The Illuminati are lizard people parasites? I can go with that.


The Illuminati, The Lizard People, and The Parasites are not of one being, but they are of one substance. The nature of our masters can only be understood in such terms.
 
2014-03-26 05:58:25 PM
The world is secretly controlled by a) the Order of the Illuminati, b) lizard people, c) parasites

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-26 06:02:29 PM
HA HA TRICK QUESTION!  THEY'RE ALL ONE IN THE SAME
 
2014-03-26 06:03:27 PM

rumpelstiltskin: fusillade762: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Can't it be all three?

The Illuminati are lizard people parasites? I can go with that.

The Illuminati, The Lizard People, and The Parasites are not of one being, but they are of one substance. The nature of our masters can only be understood in such terms.


The Illuminati Father, the Lizard Son and the Holy Parasite.
 
2014-03-26 06:06:30 PM
Well he's kind of right. Parasites are pretty much controlling the direction our country is going.
 
2014-03-26 06:06:51 PM
art.penny-arcade.com
 
2014-03-26 06:10:42 PM

InterruptingQuirk: Cat people being the #1 group affected.


Indeed.
 
2014-03-26 06:10:53 PM
That's no way to talk about wives.
 
2014-03-26 06:12:46 PM
I, for one, welcome our lizard people overlords...

/you people are slipping
 
2014-03-26 06:17:54 PM

taurusowner: Well he's kind of right. Parasites are pretty much controlling the direction our country is going.


But enough about congress
 
2014-03-26 06:27:20 PM
www.hwdyk.com

Frown on subby's shenanigans.
 
2014-03-26 06:37:56 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-26 06:43:33 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-26 06:46:18 PM
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-03-26 06:58:33 PM

InterruptingQuirk: Cat people being the #1 group affected.


How is it transmitted from cat to human?
 
2014-03-26 06:59:20 PM

InterruptingQuirk: Cat people being the #1 group affected.


Can't hug every cat.
 
2014-03-26 07:01:48 PM

Duck_of_Doom: InterruptingQuirk: Cat people being the #1 group affected.

How is it transmitted from cat to human?


When you lick pussy, that's how.
 
2014-03-26 07:12:58 PM

Duck_of_Doom: InterruptingQuirk: Cat people being the #1 group affected.

How is it transmitted from cat to human?


lipstick
 
2014-03-26 07:19:28 PM

dittybopper: Watch out for people with humped backs...


Yep. I'd love to see a battle between the Puppet Masters and the Go'a'uld.

From a safe distance.
 
2014-03-26 07:29:24 PM
*sigh*

If there really was a secret society controlling every aspect of our lives, do you think the planet would be as farked up as it is?  Seriously?  It there was, everybody on the planet would be housed, fed, clothed, and travel to their ideal job every morning on monorails.
 
2014-03-26 07:30:45 PM

real_headhoncho: *sigh*

If there really was a secret society controlling every aspect of our lives, do you think the planet would be as farked up as it is?  Seriously?  It there was, everybody on the planet would be housed, fed, clothed, and travel to their ideal job every morning on monorails.


Not everybody owns cats, duh.
 
2014-03-26 07:33:51 PM

Duck_of_Doom: InterruptingQuirk: Cat people being the #1 group affected.

How is it transmitted from cat to human?


Says the person who has never owned a cat. They indicate their desire for your service by licking or batting your sleeping face or sometimes by planting their starfish on your head.
This is their way of saying "DO MY WILL".

/also why I never let the little biatch outside where the raccoon poo is.
 
2014-03-26 07:38:16 PM

real_headhoncho: *sigh*

If there really was a secret society controlling every aspect of our lives, do you think the planet would be as farked up as it is?  Seriously?  It there was, everybody on the planet would be housed, fed, clothed, and travel to their ideal job every morning on monorails.


Maybe not controlling every aspect, but, influencing things for their own personal gain. As long as they get more powerful, Fark everyone else.
 
2014-03-26 07:50:16 PM
If you want to see the freakiest shiat ever, check out parasitic wasps taking over a caterpillar.
 
2014-03-26 07:52:55 PM

artthehypnotist: real_headhoncho: *sigh*

If there really was a secret society controlling every aspect of our lives, do you think the planet would be as farked up as it is?  Seriously?  It there was, everybody on the planet would be housed, fed, clothed, and travel to their ideal job every morning on monorails.

Maybe not controlling every aspect, but, influencing things for their own personal gain. As long as they get more powerful, Fark everyone else.


Then it is not the Illuminati.  It is bankers, lawyers, politicians, industrialists... and they are all doing it right out in the open, so it is no big secret,
 
2014-03-26 08:00:01 PM
So we're part of the Mycohl Empire now?

/better farking not be obscure
 
2014-03-26 08:01:44 PM
img2.wikia.nocookie.net

Approves
 
2014-03-26 08:05:12 PM
It's always freaked me out a little how Plasmodium species (the cause of malaria) alter their host's body odour to make them more attractive to mosquitos, which then bite the infected host, take up some parasitized red cells, and thus perpetuate the next generation of Plasmodium.
 
2014-03-26 08:06:32 PM

BMFPitt: If you want to see the freakiest shiat ever, check out parasitic wasps taking over a caterpillar.


Pfft...

The copepods which eat the tongues of fish and then BECOME the tongue are creepier..

arthropoda.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-26 08:06:55 PM

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: [img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 657x807]

Approves


I was thinking more along the lines of the ear things in Khan but I suppose this will have to do since I came here for a Star Trek reference.
 
2014-03-26 08:38:28 PM

real_headhoncho: It there was, everybody on the planet would be housed, fed, clothed, and travel to their ideal job every morning on monorails.


Unlikely. Resource allocation would have them set up the global populace for a correction to a more controllable amount. Eventually there will be a stratification of those who have power and those who desire to not be abused by those who do.

I've actually wondered just how damaging would it be if there was a parasite that had a long incubation that could cause behavioral problems in people with certain genetics. Imagine the racism and problems with just identifying the problem much less the problem being resolved.

If such a parasite existed, we'd all be dead easily.
 
2014-03-26 08:42:39 PM

Mrbogey: real_headhoncho: It there was, everybody on the planet would be housed, fed, clothed, and travel to their ideal job every morning on monorails.

Unlikely. Resource allocation would have them set up the global populace for a correction to a more controllable amount. Eventually there will be a stratification of those who have power and those who desire to not be abused by those who do.

I've actually wondered just how damaging would it be if there was a parasite that had a long incubation that could cause behavioral problems in people with certain genetics. Imagine the racism and problems with just identifying the problem much less the problem being resolved.

If such a parasite existed, we'd all be dead easily.


FOX News?
 
2014-03-26 08:47:14 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

So.

Cats kill vermin.

Humans go "that's useful!" and keep cats around.

Vermin infect cats. Cats infect humans.

Humans go "CATS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN PEOPLE.  CATS ARE GODS.  IT'S CATURDAY!"

We love our precious widdle parasites.

/only dog people remain pure
 
2014-03-26 09:03:40 PM
Dogs eat their own shiat. Any animal that eats its own shiat is retarded.
 
2014-03-26 09:10:45 PM
My two favorite parasites are the sacculina and the cordyceps unilateralis.

The sacculina is a type of shell-less barnacle - more like a slug - that likes to attach itself to crabs, inject itself inside, take over the crab's brain, poke its head out the top of the shell and drive the crab around the ocean floor like an undersea dune buggy. If not for the horrific, zombie-like "loss of free will" implications, this life cycle is downright funny.

The cordyceps unilateralis is a species of fungus that can't reproduce unless its spores are ingested by ants. The spores then take over the ant's brain and compel it to climb a plant and fuse itself to the stem with its mandibles. The spores keep growing until the ant's head explodes, releasing more spores.

As TFA explains, zombie parasitical behavior isn't all that unusual in the animal kingdom especially considering that over half of all life's diversity consists of parasites.
 
2014-03-26 09:15:30 PM
Finally! The answer is /b/
 
2014-03-26 09:17:14 PM

Duck_of_Doom: InterruptingQuirk: Cat people being the #1 group affected.

How is it transmitted from cat to human?


Some blurry memories and a lot of shame at the breakfast table the next morning...
 
2014-03-26 09:19:39 PM

Ishkur: The sacculina is a type of shell-less barnacle - more like a slug - that likes to attach itself to crabs, inject itself inside, take over the crab's brain, poke its head out the top of the shell and drive the crab around the ocean floor like an undersea dune buggy. If not for the horrific, zombie-like "loss of free will" implications, this life cycle is downright funny.


Wow-
When a female Sacculina is implanted in a male crab it will interfere with the crab's hormonal balance. This Sacculina then forces the crab's body to release hormones, causing it to act like a female crab, even to the point of performing female mating dances.

Good call. Imagine that in a horror film with humans.
 
2014-03-26 09:20:34 PM

sendtodave: /only dog people remain pure


That you're aware of...
 
2014-03-26 09:23:59 PM

sendtodave: /only dog people remain pure


Dog always smell. Canada smells of wet dog. Are you Canadian?
 
2014-03-26 09:35:26 PM

duffblue: Dogs eat their own shiat. Any animal that eats its own shiat is retarded.


Dogs will even eat cat turds!  Can you belie---

Oh.  Dear. God.

Even dogs have been compromised!
 
2014-03-26 09:48:07 PM

strangeluck:


And I'll be in my bunk.

/McIntosh > Cumbersome
//Stewart >>>>> Freeman
 
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