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(Fark)   So you're going under the knife. If it goes bad, what do you put on your tombstone? Difficulty: cram sentimentality. This is for posterity. Give me your best one-liners   (fark.com) divider line 79
    More: Advice  
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306 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 25 Mar 2014 at 5:42 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-25 04:07:47 PM
Mushrooms & sausage.
 
2014-03-25 04:12:18 PM
Well... bye...
 
2014-03-25 04:18:10 PM
I told you I was ill.
 
2014-03-25 04:19:11 PM
"See you soon."
 
2014-03-25 04:21:02 PM
Your mother is a whore
 
2014-03-25 04:22:10 PM
No tombstone.  Just cremate me and make a diamond from my ashes.
 
2014-03-25 04:23:32 PM
"Why did this stupid thread go green?"
 
2014-03-25 04:25:24 PM
  ▲
▲ ▲
 
2014-03-25 04:37:55 PM
Don't Cry For Me Argentina
 
2014-03-25 04:40:49 PM
www.thehorrorzine.com
 
2014-03-25 04:50:17 PM
"I don't recommend my surgeon."
 
2014-03-25 04:56:57 PM
"Not even Michael Jackson wanted these bones"
 
2014-03-25 04:58:15 PM
I came, I saw, I said 'f*ck it I'm out of here'
 
2014-03-25 04:58:48 PM
Here I lie, beneath the sod;
I bet you think I'm up with God.
But heaven's full of angels bright,
While Hell is full of snark and fights;
So now I'm down here in the dark
With the other dead of Fark.
 
2014-03-25 04:59:39 PM
Will you have a cool scar?
Post a list of your stuff so we can put dibs on it, just in case things don't work out for you.
 
2014-03-25 05:10:47 PM
'I'm not dead.  I've gone for a walk.'
 
2014-03-25 05:18:19 PM
Turns Out Feline Leukemia IS Sexually Transmittable
 
2014-03-25 05:21:12 PM
"So apparently that was not a good idea"
 
2014-03-25 05:36:03 PM
"He died doing the right thing"
 
2014-03-25 05:49:00 PM
"You're next"
 
2014-03-25 05:52:41 PM

JoieD'Zen: Will you have a cool scar?
Post a list of your stuff so we can put dibs on it, just in case things don't work out for you.


You know, I make a submission looking for a little care and compassion, and you selfish jerks just want all my stuff.  God I love you bastards.  Don't ever change!  >:D

Scar?  Dunno, probably.  Ticker kicker implant.  Don't know what it's going to look like afterwards.

As for my stuff, I'm making a list just in case.  Most of it would go to family members (what there is of value, anyway)(which isn't much)(dammit).

The Stealth Hippopotamus: "He died doing the right thing"


Now that's a horrible thing to say.  I've never done the right thing on purpose.  Oh you die... well OK then.  I can live with tha... right.
 
2014-03-25 05:53:50 PM
"F*** you all!  I left everything to the dog."
 
2014-03-25 05:54:52 PM
dammit, maybe I'll learn to preview in the next life, if it comes to that.  Insert MEAN between Oh & die.

"See you soon".... hm, I like that.  Just the right amount of believable compassion with a slight aftertaste of MUHAHAHAHAHAA.  That one goes on the candidate list.  Thanks!
 
2014-03-25 05:56:50 PM
"I'm right behind you."
 
2014-03-25 06:01:51 PM
"Please clear my browser history"

"I, um, totally *fell* on that wine bottle. In the shower. Million-to-one shot"
 
2014-03-25 06:07:20 PM
What? Me worry?
 
2014-03-25 06:07:25 PM
Well, he died the way he always wanted to.  Horribly.
 
2014-03-25 06:10:14 PM
Here lies Ray-Ray
He fell off a roller coaster and broke every bone in his body
 
2014-03-25 06:12:46 PM
I'm not really a Dr. Who fan (I watch it, but not fanatically), but maybe I could afford a statue of an angel with his hands covering his face and the pedestal saying "Don't.  Blink."
 
2014-03-25 06:13:32 PM
At least I'm not Autistic
 
2014-03-25 06:18:12 PM
F*cked Again !
 
2014-03-25 06:25:35 PM
From down here that dress does make you look fat
 
2014-03-25 06:52:46 PM
Best before: _ _ / _ _ / 20 _ _
 
2014-03-25 06:54:56 PM
Thanks Obama!
 
2014-03-25 07:28:23 PM
"I'd like to think I deserved it"
 
2014-03-25 07:48:44 PM
I could really use a drink right now.
 
2014-03-25 07:48:46 PM

PainInTheASP: Mushrooms & sausage.


Close:
greentintedglasses.net
 
2014-03-25 07:50:50 PM
Motion detector which, when activated, plays Bach's Toccata and Fugue and triggers a smoke machine.  Or possibly Nicholson's Joker laugh from the end of Batman.
 
2014-03-25 07:51:57 PM
I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
 
2014-03-25 07:53:14 PM
Now I feed.
 
2014-03-25 08:13:31 PM
"Stop pissing on me, Vigoda!"
 
2014-03-25 08:16:24 PM
I aten't dead,
 
2014-03-25 08:32:47 PM
Regrets? I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
 
2014-03-25 08:55:40 PM
Popular with people in life, popular with maggots in death.
 
2014-03-25 09:07:29 PM
"If you can read this, you're standing on my face."
 
2014-03-25 09:14:03 PM
...is now 20% cooler.
 
2014-03-25 09:35:57 PM
'Dear future teenager- feel free to make a bong out of my skull'
 
2014-03-25 10:40:58 PM
Finally some peace and quiet...
At least until my wife dies
 
2014-03-25 10:54:39 PM
"I lived a full life and died painlessly and quickly in blissful slumber. Not screaming in fear like the passengers in my car"
 
2014-03-25 11:14:58 PM
"She's not dead. She's just being difficult."
 
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