If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Local)   Nine jobs one can only do in Germany. And no, you can't do that one anymore   (thelocal.de) divider line 70
    More: Interesting, German citizenship  
•       •       •

12007 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2014 at 8:16 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-25 06:44:44 AM
Eeehm... The bottle recycling one isn't particularly specific to Germany. I know several people who had that as their first job in school here in Denmark.
 
2014-03-25 07:05:02 AM
Wrong, subby. What you're looking for is #7 with some additional paperwork.
 
2014-03-25 08:20:04 AM

Badgerlad: Eeehm... The bottle recycling one isn't particularly specific to Germany. I know several people who had that as their first job in school here in Denmark.


Sweden here. Also saying THIS^
 
2014-03-25 08:21:31 AM
Also Norway has Pant (deposit) system for ALU cans and PET flasks.
 
2014-03-25 08:22:38 AM
You know who else had a job unique to Germany?

/not trying to raise a furor here...
 
2014-03-25 08:22:54 AM

uttertosh: Also Norway has Pant (deposit) system for ALU cans and PET flasks.


flasks bottles.

Sorry, my internal translator is on the blink.
 
2014-03-25 08:23:41 AM
Do any of them involve excrement?
 
2014-03-25 08:24:19 AM
I'm fairly sure every one of those jobs exist in one form or another pretty much everywhere.
 
2014-03-25 08:24:21 AM

PunGent: You know who else had a job unique to Germany?

/not trying to raise a furor here...


OH! I know this :-) It's the dude who designs the banknotes there!!
 
2014-03-25 08:24:44 AM

Badgerlad: Eeehm... The bottle recycling one isn't particularly specific to Germany. I know several people who had that as their first job in school here in Denmark.


And Germany isn't the only place in the world with legalized prostitution.
 
2014-03-25 08:25:10 AM
Legal Sex Worker. Yes, yes they are
 
2014-03-25 08:25:57 AM

phrawgh: Do any of them involve excrement?


Yes. #7.
 
2014-03-25 08:26:27 AM
Click HERE to see the list

how about you go fark yourself
 
2014-03-25 08:27:15 AM
The 1516 Reinheitsgebot (purity laws) define what can go into beer - just barley, hops and water - and nothing else.

No sugar or yeast?

Also, good. They need this here. Fark your stupid moon dust gimmick beers
 
2014-03-25 08:28:44 AM
My personal favorite: Beer Police.
 
2014-03-25 08:33:15 AM
 
2014-03-25 08:34:55 AM

AirForceVet: My personal favorite: Beer Police.


I thought the purtiy laws were gone. Either way we have them in the USA also. We call them health inspectors. Most of the jobs elsewhere.
 
2014-03-25 08:35:59 AM
Scat artist?
 
2014-03-25 08:36:32 AM

uttertosh: phrawgh: Do any of them involve excrement?

Yes. #7.


Made me look, flip through a slide show. I should have known. Scheiße!

Well played.
 
2014-03-25 08:37:24 AM
...and well, technically, the Reinheitsgebot is no longer an absolute law, meaning there is no beer cop to enforce it.  There are certainly other regulations concerning beer and even ingredients in Germany, but again, not unique to Germany.
 
2014-03-25 08:41:06 AM

Plant Rights Activist: Click HERE to see the list

how about you go fark yourself


How does this kind of shiat get greenlighted?
 
2014-03-25 08:41:19 AM
Legal prostitution and nude beaches?  How did Germany get the reputation for being so uptight.
 
2014-03-25 08:45:38 AM
Get off the blocks or you will be shot, maggot!!!!
 
2014-03-25 08:46:28 AM

Pumpernickel bread: Legal prostitution and nude beaches?  How did Germany get the reputation for being so uptight.


Sure they have them. The problem is that they are German women. A lot of moustaches and such.
 
2014-03-25 08:48:13 AM

Mid_mo_mad_man: Pumpernickel bread: Legal prostitution and nude beaches?  How did Germany get the reputation for being so uptight.

Sure they have them. The problem is that they are German women. A lot of moustaches and such.


I like moustaches.
 
2014-03-25 08:49:37 AM

Mid_mo_mad_man: AirForceVet: My personal favorite: Beer Police.

I thought the purtiy laws were gone. Either way we have them in the USA also. We call them health inspectors. Most of the jobs elsewhere.


The purity law isn't upheld anymore, but there's plenty of breweries who claim to still follow it.
As someone else mentioned, lots of European countries have legalized prostitution. There's also plenty of European countries that do the bottle and can sorting mentioned in that shiatty slideshow.
 
2014-03-25 08:51:49 AM
There are thousands of stock photos of absurdly hot Oktoberfest dirndl beer girls, and this is the photo they went with???

www.thelocal.de

I guess you're welcome, farkettes.
 
2014-03-25 08:54:18 AM
Does genocide pay well?
 
2014-03-25 08:55:50 AM

Pumpernickel bread: Legal prostitution and nude beaches?  How did Germany get the reputation for being so uptight.


Where did you hear they had that reputation? Germany is known for making some of the filthiest porn in the world, sexually speaking I would never call them uptight.
 
2014-03-25 08:58:08 AM

Tax Boy: There are thousands of stock photos of absurdly hot Oktoberfest dirndl beer girls, and this is the photo they went with???

[www.thelocal.de image 550x368]

I guess you're welcome, farkettes.


Totally gay.
 
2014-03-25 08:59:19 AM
I'm fairly certain that bylaw enforcement officers exist pretty much everywhere.
 
2014-03-25 08:59:58 AM

abhorrent1: The 1516 Reinheitsgebot (purity laws) define what can go into beer - just barley, hops and water - and nothing else.

No sugar or yeast?

Also, good. They need this here. Fark your stupid moon dust gimmick beers


I looked it up.  TL;DR is they use yeast and grain mash. Yeast was added to the list later on.  The grain is germinated by soaking and left moist for a bit to activate the natural sugars, then roasted to kill the sprout from eating the sugars up.  From there, normal brewing occurs to make wort and then ferment with yeast.

I think I'll try this method on my next batch of brew.
 
2014-03-25 09:01:31 AM
I assume there are a few thousand government and ancillary government jobs that non-Germans can't do... like chancellor.
 
2014-03-25 09:03:30 AM
1) They have something similar in Singapore

2) food purity laws are policed by the FDA here and similar organizations around the globe

6) Many counties including the USA are still sorting those things out

7) Holland?

8) already covered

9) most places police the other way, keeping nudists from straying onto the other sections of beach
 
2014-03-25 09:09:36 AM
Nein...Nein jobs...ah ahh ahhhhh..
 
2014-03-25 09:10:20 AM

child_god: abhorrent1: The 1516 Reinheitsgebot (purity laws) define what can go into beer - just barley, hops and water - and nothing else.

No sugar or yeast?

Also, good. They need this here. Fark your stupid moon dust gimmick beers

I looked it up.  TL;DR is they use yeast and grain mash. Yeast was added to the list later on.  The grain is germinated by soaking and left moist for a bit to activate the natural sugars, then roasted to kill the sprout from eating the sugars up.  From there, normal brewing occurs to make wort and then ferment with yeast.

I think I'll try this method on my next batch of brew.


They used to only use natural yeast I think, just like whatever happens to grow in there gets to be what's used.  I guess that's the way it used to be with bread and everything before they knew about yeast.  Once yeast was discovered and people elsewhere making beer were selecting their yeasts and having more stable, predictable batches, they decided to add yeast to the list.
 
2014-03-25 09:15:13 AM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Mid_mo_mad_man: AirForceVet: My personal favorite: Beer Police.

I thought the purtiy laws were gone. Either way we have them in the USA also. We call them health inspectors. Most of the jobs elsewhere.

The purity law isn't upheld anymore, but there's plenty of breweries who claim to still follow it.
As someone else mentioned, lots of European countries have legalized prostitution. There's also plenty of European countries that do the bottle and can sorting mentioned in that shiatty slideshow.


Many a lad in the US had bottle sorting job in highschool.
 
2014-03-25 09:17:18 AM

Mid_mo_mad_man: Dingleberry Dickwad: Mid_mo_mad_man: AirForceVet: My personal favorite: Beer Police.

I thought the purtiy laws were gone. Either way we have them in the USA also. We call them health inspectors. Most of the jobs elsewhere.

The purity law isn't upheld anymore, but there's plenty of breweries who claim to still follow it.
As someone else mentioned, lots of European countries have legalized prostitution. There's also plenty of European countries that do the bottle and can sorting mentioned in that shiatty slideshow.

Many a lad in the US had bottle sorting job in highschool.


Many a lad in the US had a bottle sorting job in highschool.
 
2014-03-25 09:19:19 AM

ReapTheChaos: Pumpernickel bread: Legal prostitution and nude beaches?  How did Germany get the reputation for being so uptight.

Where did you hear they had that reputation? Germany is known for making some of the filthiest porn in the world, sexually speaking I would never call them uptight.


Plenty of U.S. Americans formed their impression of Germany from what grampaw told them about The War. The Bavarian corporal's pals, while often secretly freaky, were very uptight in their public morality pronouncements, and that reputation still has some credence among people who have never been to Europe and who probably never will go.

It's been my understanding that Germans are the most sexually promiscuous people in the world (although, apparently they're behind the Brits), which would be somewhat more awesome if the women believed in shaving their armpits and legs a bit more often.
 
2014-03-25 09:21:03 AM

child_god: TL;DR is they use yeast and grain mash. Yeast was added to the list later on.  The grain is germinated by soaking and left moist for a bit to activate the natural sugars, then roasted to kill the sprout from eating the sugars up.  From there, normal brewing occurs to make wort and then ferment with yeast.

I think I'll try this method on my next batch of brew.


Yeah, yeast wasn't included because no one knew about yeast when the law was written. They thought fermentation was a gift from god. The krausen on top of the fermenting beer was actually called "Godisgood" for a time.

Also, what your describing (germinated, sprouting) is the malting process, not a mash. The latter was what you do with the malted grain.
 
2014-03-25 09:21:47 AM
What a stupid article. Like others have said, most of the items aren't even close to germany only jobs. On top of the other ones mentioned, the first one "Order Officer" sounds like the exact same thing as a bylaw officer which they have everywhere I have ever lived and enforces things like noise and litter bylaws.
 
2014-03-25 09:22:47 AM

uttertosh: Badgerlad: Eeehm... The bottle recycling one isn't particularly specific to Germany. I know several people who had that as their first job in school here in Denmark.

Sweden here. Also saying THIS^


Michigan as well. We were one of the first states to have a bottle bill. Every supermarket does this in Michigan. It's a grubby, unpleasant job.

The Beer Hall Worker isn't unique to Germany, either. In Michigan we have a Bavarian town named Frankenmuth, and they have Oktoberfest every year.

This was a dumb slideshow by someone who didn't do much research.
 
2014-03-25 09:23:43 AM
doesn't one of the asian countries have their version of order officers?

a need for Oktoberfest staff can be found in any area with a high german population at one time, see the texas hill country


Legal Sex workers, also known as politicians can be found world wide


most of them, probably
 
2014-03-25 09:24:15 AM

MylesHeartVodak: Plant Rights Activist: Click HERE to see the list

how about you go fark yourself

How does this kind of shiat get greenlighted?


This and this times a brazillion.

Fark needs a link Reformation.
 
2014-03-25 09:24:18 AM

LrdPhoenix: child_god: abhorrent1: The 1516 Reinheitsgebot (purity laws) define what can go into beer - just barley, hops and water - and nothing else.

No sugar or yeast?

Also, good. They need this here. Fark your stupid moon dust gimmick beers

I looked it up.  TL;DR is they use yeast and grain mash. Yeast was added to the list later on.  The grain is germinated by soaking and left moist for a bit to activate the natural sugars, then roasted to kill the sprout from eating the sugars up.  From there, normal brewing occurs to make wort and then ferment with yeast.

I think I'll try this method on my next batch of brew.

They used to only use natural yeast I think, just like whatever happens to grow in there gets to be what's used.  I guess that's the way it used to be with bread and everything before they knew about yeast.  Once yeast was discovered and people elsewhere making beer were selecting their yeasts and having more stable, predictable batches, they decided to add yeast to the list.


They didn't know they were using yeast because it was kind of unknown at the time. Here's the wiki on the subject.
 
2014-03-25 09:26:18 AM
One Ticket please..

.graphics8.nytimes.com
 
2014-03-25 09:28:32 AM
Oh man, I'd love to be an Ordnungsamt.
 
2014-03-25 09:28:34 AM

LazyMedia: ReapTheChaos: Pumpernickel bread: Legal prostitution and nude beaches?  How did Germany get the reputation for being so uptight.

Where did you hear they had that reputation? Germany is known for making some of the filthiest porn in the world, sexually speaking I would never call them uptight.

Plenty of U.S. Americans formed their impression of Germany from what grampaw told them about The War. The Bavarian corporal's pals, while often secretly freaky, were very uptight in their public morality pronouncements, and that reputation still has some credence among people who have never been to Europe and who probably never will go.

It's been my understanding that Germans are the most sexually promiscuous people in the world (although, apparently they're behind the Brits), which would be somewhat more awesome if the women believed in shaving their armpits and legs a bit more often.


I take it you haven't actually been to Germany in the last 20 some odd years. I can't speak for before the 90s, but I spent 7 years over there starting in the mid 90s. The women most certainly shave their legs and pits and some even shave their snatch. It could be something from the older generations where the women didn't shave, but most modern women do.
 
2014-03-25 09:28:37 AM

LazyMedia: ReapTheChaos: Pumpernickel bread: Legal prostitution and nude beaches?  How did Germany get the reputation for being so uptight.

Where did you hear they had that reputation? Germany is known for making some of the filthiest porn in the world, sexually speaking I would never call them uptight.

Plenty of U.S. Americans formed their impression of Germany from what grampaw told them about The War. The Bavarian corporal's pals, while often secretly freaky, were very uptight in their public morality pronouncements, and that reputation still has some credence among people who have never been to Europe and who probably never will go.

It's been my understanding that Germans are the most sexually promiscuous people in the world (although, apparently they're behind the Brits), which would be somewhat more awesome if the women believed in shaving their armpits and legs a bit more often.


Germans are uptight, about following laws.

They aren't prudes though.

I lived in Germany, and i never once saw a female hairy armpit. Or hairy lip on a female, that i can recall.
 
2014-03-25 09:38:41 AM
Shiza videos?

/Mom, you'd tell me right?
 
2014-03-25 09:40:37 AM
I loved my time in Germany, (most off it spent in/near Dornstadt and Ulm) and would love to return.

/Ignore the story on the German jobs, and proceed directly to the farm girls calendar link at teh bottom of the page.
 
2014-03-25 09:45:57 AM

Mid_mo_mad_man: AirForceVet: My personal favorite: Beer Police.

I thought the purtiy laws were gone. Either way we have them in the USA also. We call them health inspectors. Most of the jobs elsewhere.


Not even close to the same thing. We can sell all types of shiat in a bottle and call it beer.  "Beer" with lemon, and cranberries in it, it just needs to be safe (relatively) for human consumption. The purity laws ensure that Bier, is really Bier.
 
mhd
2014-03-25 09:46:46 AM
Okay, let's check:

#1 "Order Officer" - That makes it sounds like it's about queues. Better translation would be "code", and you've got lots of personnel for that in other countries, too. Canada, for example.
#2 "Beer Cop" - Same thing. As much as some politicians would like to abolish it, the US does check health codes for food.
#3 "VW Tower Keeper" - WTF?
#4 "Multilingual memorial minder" - WTF, part deux. Other countries do have private security, and some of them do know a few phrases in foreignish.
#5 "Oktoberfest beer hall staff" - Other countries have waiters, too. Most of them quite a bit more polite.
#6 "Nazi Crimes Compensation Official" - let's not mention the war
#7 "Legal Sex Worker" - Let me tell you about a magical place called Amsterdam...
#8 "Pfand Room Assistant" - That's a task, not a job. And a task the shop assistants actively try to avoid. Try finding one when the bin is full...
#9 "Nudist Zone Warden" - Quite fittingly they used a photo from the 60s. And yeah, other countries with nude beaches have no staff keeping out riffraff...
 
2014-03-25 09:52:19 AM

Random Discord: "Beer" with lemon, and cranberries in it,


So is "Kriek" not beer?
 
2014-03-25 10:22:02 AM

Random Discord: Mid_mo_mad_man: AirForceVet: My personal favorite: Beer Police.

I thought the purtiy laws were gone. Either way we have them in the USA also. We call them health inspectors. Most of the jobs elsewhere.

Not even close to the same thing. We can sell all types of shiat in a bottle and call it beer.  "Beer" with lemon, and cranberries in it, it just needs to be safe (relatively) for human consumption. The purity laws ensure that Bier, is really Bier.


The Reinseitsgebot is a total horeshiat law. For one thing, it doesn't allow wheat in beer, and yet wheat beers are super popular in Germany. Apparently the reason behind this is because wheat beers were brewed by/for the nobility, and those guys were above the law. Not to mention it killed or nearly killed a bunch of other really old traditional german beer styles that used other ingredients (like beers bittered using gruit or Gose beers which contain salt).

Plus there are all kinds of awesome ingredients that go into beer that weren't allowed under that law. I mean it doesn't cover either lactose sugar or oats, but certainly oatmeal stout and milk stout are real beers.
 
2014-03-25 10:25:30 AM

mechgreg: Random Discord: Mid_mo_mad_man: AirForceVet: My personal favorite: Beer Police.

I thought the purtiy laws were gone. Either way we have them in the USA also. We call them health inspectors. Most of the jobs elsewhere.

Not even close to the same thing. We can sell all types of shiat in a bottle and call it beer.  "Beer" with lemon, and cranberries in it, it just needs to be safe (relatively) for human consumption. The purity laws ensure that Bier, is really Bier.

The Reinseitsgebot is a total horeshiat law. For one thing, it doesn't allow wheat in beer, and yet wheat beers are super popular in Germany. Apparently the reason behind this is because wheat beers were brewed by/for the nobility, and those guys were above the law. Not to mention it killed or nearly killed a bunch of other really old traditional german beer styles that used other ingredients (like beers bittered using gruit or Gose beers which contain salt).

Plus there are all kinds of awesome ingredients that go into beer that weren't allowed under that law. I mean it doesn't cover either lactose sugar or oats, but certainly oatmeal stout and milk stout are real beers.


I guess it's a good thing it's not actually law anymore and was replaced by something that allows for wheat and a few other ingredients.
 
2014-03-25 10:32:24 AM

mechgreg: The Reinseitsgebot is a total horeshiat law. For one thing, it doesn't allow wheat in beer, and yet wheat beers are super popular in Germany. Apparently the reason behind this is because wheat beers were brewed by/for the nobility, and those guys were above the law.


The purpose behind the law was to keep bread affordable for everyone. By limiting the extensive beer production to specific types of grain, they could keep supplies of rye and wheat plentiful and affordable for the bakers. You could still very well be right about the nobility still finding their fair share of wheat beers even then due to corruption, etc.

Later, you get into the issue of German ethnic pride and the use of the law to suppress the sale / brewing of beers in other styles so that German brewers would continue to remain profitable. Some of Germany's most popular styles of beer were created specifically to combat the influx of very popular Bohemian Pilsners from Czechoslovakia.
 
2014-03-25 10:56:33 AM
List fails without Scheiße porn star
 
2014-03-25 11:08:29 AM
I review German scheiße porn for a living so I'm getting a kick out of this.

/"I give this video three cans of corn"
 
2014-03-25 12:00:31 PM
1. Order Officer -- That's pretty much a paid hall monitor, right?
2. Beer Cops -- That's the FDA
4. Multilingual Memorial Minder  -- Security guard (heck, nuns do this at the Accademia in Florence all day. NO FOTO!)
7. Legal Sex Worker -- Not even close to "only" Germany
8. Pfand Room Assistant -- California has people who process CRV, and I'm sure other states do too.

List summary? FAIL.
 
2014-03-25 12:03:03 PM

child_god: abhorrent1: The 1516 Reinheitsgebot (purity laws) define what can go into beer - just barley, hops and water - and nothing else.

No sugar or yeast?

Also, good. They need this here. Fark your stupid moon dust gimmick beers

I looked it up.  TL;DR is they use yeast and grain mash. Yeast was added to the list later on.  The grain is germinated by soaking and left moist for a bit to activate the natural sugars, then roasted to kill the sprout from eating the sugars up.  From there, normal brewing occurs to make wort and then ferment with yeast.

I think I'll try this method on my next batch of brew.


Malting? Yeah, you ought to try it.
 
2014-03-25 12:11:19 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: List fails without Scheiße porn star


Or the related Wiper/Fluffer with the toilet paper.
 
2014-03-25 12:49:25 PM
cdn.cultofandroid.com
 
2014-03-25 12:57:20 PM
I'm not sure Germany should have something called a purity law.

We're talking about Aryan beer, right?
 
2014-03-25 01:58:09 PM

Tax Boy: There are thousands of stock photos of absurdly hot Oktoberfest dirndl beer girls, and this is the photo they went with???


www.40cozy.com

Fixed, kind of.
 
2014-03-25 03:42:04 PM
Gig103
1. Order Officer -- That's pretty much a paid hall monitor, right?


Let's call them what they really are: meter maids writing parking tickets (might depend a bit on the federal state).

IIRC, here in poor Berlin they were created some time after the reunification as a place to dump the surplus of unfireable government officers ("Beamte") from the merged bureaucracies of what had been two cities.
"You can stare at the wall for 8 hours, or you can transfer to a pool of available workers which will feed the new Ordnungsamt which we will then use to free police officers from doing tasks like actually walking their beat, writing tickets for littering or parking violations and stuff like that. That way we can save money on overtime payments and the hiring and training of real police officers for some time; teaching some surplus office workers we're paying anyway how to write a proper parking ticket is a lot cheaper. "
 
2014-03-25 03:48:38 PM

dstanley: Tax Boy: There are thousands of stock photos of absurdly hot Oktoberfest dirndl beer girls, and this is the photo they went with???

[www.40cozy.com image 263x300]

Fixed, kind of.


Came for this picture, leaving horny
 
2014-03-25 05:38:34 PM

reggaejunkiejew: dstanley: Tax Boy: There are thousands of stock photos of absurdly hot Oktoberfest dirndl beer girls, and this is the photo they went with???

[www.40cozy.com image 263x300]

Fixed, kind of.

Came for this picture, leaving horny


Same here... she's perfect and I call will calll her "Frieda".. No, Helga! Ya that's it, "Helga"
 
2014-03-25 07:00:32 PM

WinoRhino: Random Discord: "Beer" with lemon, and cranberries in it,

So is "Kriek" not beer?

Kriek

means cherry.

I infer you're referring to Kriek Lambic, which is Belgian.

http://www.lindemans.be/start/kriek/en
 
2014-03-25 08:44:00 PM

bughunter: WinoRhino: Random Discord: "Beer" with lemon, and cranberries in it,

So is "Kriek" not beer?

Kriek means cherry.

I infer you're referring to Kriek Lambic, which is Belgian.


Uh, yeah? Did you have a point or are you just filling the gaps for the casual reader who might be confused?
 
Displayed 70 of 70 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report