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(The Consumerist)   Taco Bell sent 1,000 free "breakfast phones" to "fast-food influencers" to go on "secret breakfast missions." Unemployed millennials, consider branding yourselves as fast-food influencers to get some respect   (consumerist.com) divider line 23
    More: Stupid, Taco Bell, gas burners, livestock branding, fast food, missions, tacos  
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4575 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2014 at 1:02 AM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-25 07:08:41 AM  
6 votes:
img.fark.net
Neo: Hello.
Marketer: Hello, Neo. Do you know who this is?
Neo: Taco Bell.
Marketer: Yes. We've been looking for you, Neo. I want you to tweet which Taco Bell breakfast item you are into.
Neo: What, right now?
Marketer: Yes. Now. Do it quickly, but draw no attention to yourself.
Neo: No way. No way. This is crazy.
Marketer: There are two ways out of this situation. One is you send that Tweet, the other is I send my people over to forcefeed you a Waffle Taco to see how you respond. You take a chance either way. I leave it to you.
Neo: This is insane. Why is this happening to me? What did I do? I'm nobody. I didn't do anything. I'm gonna sh*t myself to death. I can't do this.
2014-03-25 07:59:55 AM  
2 votes:
Hello Citizen.  Please find enclosed one NSA Super Fun Action Phone (tm).  You are now a member of a very select group of U. S. Americans who can make FREE overseas calls with their NSA Super Fun Action Phone.  Call your friends, call your Mullah.  Call the guy who is currently financing your terror plans.  It's all free thanks to the NSA Super Fun Action Phone.

Your NSA Super Fun Action Fun includes a 5 megapixel Super Fun Action Camera so you can take and share photos of your friends, unindicted co-conspirators, and terror targets.  And you can send these photos anywhere in the world with your NSA Super Fun Action Phone!  It's free!

So get out there and get to sharing the excitement with your NSA Super Fun Action Cell Phone.  If your friends are jealous of your NSA Super Action Cell Phone, just tell them to call Greg down at the NSA and they can get their own NSA Super Action Cell Phone.  Just as long as they meet certain metrics.
2014-03-25 01:48:22 AM  
2 votes:
i wouldn't be able to stop myself from tweeting things like "Taco Bell food made me shiat myself at my daughter's recital"

i guess i could just tweet that anyway.

brb, making Twitter account.
2014-03-25 01:39:27 AM  
2 votes:
Yes you all are laughing now, but these chosen 1,000 Taco Bellisarios have been given an epic quest by Yum! Brands Inc. to change the way we think about Tex-Mex-inspired morning-themed fast food. I'll give you two things: a place and a time. The place- participating Taco Bells nationwide. The time- 7:00 AM or earlier on March 27th 2014. You've never even conceived of a waffle taco filled with eggs and crumbled bacon have you? What about a sausage flatbread melt? Of course you haven't. Taco Bell is revolutionizing the way you experience mornings. It begins here and now with the Taco Bellisarios- our blessed shepherds into this new era of 12 pack Cinnabon® Delights™ available for breakfast at select locations. If you are tense or concerned or even frightened by this change do not be. Contact your local Taco Bellisario via Twitter, Foursquare, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Skype, or e-mail. Your Taco Bellisario will be able to provide you with literature and insight into this fast food revolution. Your Taco Bellisario is on the cutting-edge of social media infographics and has up to date information on nutritional information, local store hours, and can ship you a copy of Taco Bell founder Glen Bell'sinspirational autobiography 'Fourth Meal to the Fourth Way: How I Discovered the Keys to Successful Fast Food Franchising Through the Life Works of Maurice Nicoll' for a small shipping & handling charge. Do not fear change. Instead embrace it. Live más.
2014-03-25 01:15:20 AM  
2 votes:
1000 pictures of poop arrive in some Taco Bell marketer's inbox in 3... 2... 1...
2014-03-25 11:52:20 AM  
1 votes:
Somehow this will become Obama's fault, too.
2014-03-25 08:42:00 AM  
1 votes:

RanDomino: Make fun of it all you want... their brand recognition still went up.


So did Malaysia Airline's over the last few weeks.
2014-03-25 05:33:43 AM  
1 votes:
Wait until someone hacks the phones - "Take a shiat in the entrance area of your nearest Taco Bell #breakfastphone"
2014-03-25 03:03:22 AM  
1 votes:

hervatski: Somehow, stereotype middle aged midwestern soccerm moms are at the controls of major company's marketing departments.  Only they would think this is cool.


I hear more and more kids are playing soccerm these days.
2014-03-25 02:30:39 AM  
1 votes:
Oh, goody! Taco Bell for breakfast, diarrhea for lunch. I think I'd rather just eat the phone.
2014-03-25 02:19:52 AM  
1 votes:
media1.break.com

Be well? poop
2014-03-25 02:08:11 AM  
1 votes:
I'm on a mission.

i734.photobucket.com
2014-03-25 02:07:54 AM  
1 votes:
Make fun of it all you want... their brand recognition still went up.
2014-03-25 01:58:01 AM  
1 votes:

Foxxinnia: Yes you all are laughing now, but these chosen 1,000 Taco Bellisarios have been given an epic quest by Yum! Brands Inc. to change the way we think about Tex-Mex-inspired morning-themed fast food. I'll give you two things: a place and a time. The place- participating Taco Bells nationwide. The time- 7:00 AM or earlier on March 27th 2014. You've never even conceived of a waffle taco filled with eggs and crumbled bacon have you? What about a sausage flatbread melt? Of course you haven't. Taco Bell is revolutionizing the way you experience mornings. It begins here and now with the Taco Bellisarios- our blessed shepherds into this new era of 12 pack Cinnabon® Delights™ available for breakfast at select locations. If you are tense or concerned or even frightened by this change do not be. Contact your local Taco Bellisario via Twitter, Foursquare, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Skype, or e-mail. Your Taco Bellisario will be able to provide you with literature and insight into this fast food revolution. Your Taco Bellisario is on the cutting-edge of social media infographics and has up to date information on nutritional information, local store hours, and can ship you a copy of Taco Bell founder Glen Bell'sinspirational autobiography 'Fourth Meal to the Fourth Way: How I Discovered the Keys to Successful Fast Food Franchising Through the Life Works of Maurice Nicoll' for a small shipping & handling charge. Do not fear change. Instead embrace it. Live más.


WOW. Did you write that in one shot? No snark here, that's amazing as hell.

ovation.jpg
2014-03-25 01:33:41 AM  
1 votes:
I'm more of a coffee acheiver.
2014-03-25 01:23:23 AM  
1 votes:
All I know is that two Chili Cheese Burritos look exactly the same coming out as they did going in...

#ThanksTacoBell
2014-03-25 01:20:05 AM  
1 votes:
How violently drunk do you have to be before you want a Taco Bell breakfast?

Anyone?

I mean, I can hold my own. I come from a long line of WASPs. We consider it perfectly acceptable to be schickered before noon, but damn.
2014-03-25 01:19:36 AM  
1 votes:
Didn't the Ovaltine guys try this back in the 1930s with that Little Orphan Annie secret decoder ring? I mean, a commercial? Seriously? How lame.
2014-03-25 01:10:45 AM  
1 votes:
i262.photobucket.com
2014-03-25 01:08:18 AM  
1 votes:
Whenever that comet or asteroid or whatever was scheduled to hit us, can we move that up?
2014-03-25 01:04:36 AM  
1 votes:
assets.sbnation.com
2014-03-25 12:42:54 AM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-25 12:17:08 AM  
1 votes:
Ah, jeez, another taco thread.

i262.photobucket.com
 
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