If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(My Fox Phoenix)   Suspect claims he accidentally kidnapped child, who he thought was his stepdaughter. 'Cause it's okay to kidnap your stepkids, just not other people's kids   (myfoxphoenix.com) divider line 21
    More: Fail, 3rd Street, contempt of court  
•       •       •

2270 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2014 at 6:36 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-25 12:12:03 AM  
fail tag for the parents.

police should not have returned the girl right away.

let the parents freak out. get them to acknowledge that they're horrible parents.

get them to admit that they didn't care enough about the safety of their family to lock a f*cking door.

let them know how they themselves were the only party responsible for their girl getting kidnapped.

then bring them to the police station and ask them to identify a body.

than show them their little girl.
 
2014-03-25 12:33:44 AM  
Turns out that toddler had allegedly been kidnapped out of her own home in the middle of the night!

Really?!? OMG!

Journalism is dead.
 
2014-03-25 06:34:14 AM  

calbert: fail tag for the parents.

police should not have returned the girl right away.

let the parents freak out. get them to acknowledge that they're horrible parents.

get them to admit that they didn't care enough about the safety of their family to lock a f*cking door.

let them know how they themselves were the only party responsible for their girl getting kidnapped.

then bring them to the police station and ask them to identify a body.

than show them their little girl.


"Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted."
 
2014-03-25 06:43:36 AM  

calbert: fail tag for the parents.

police should not have returned the girl right away.

let the parents freak out. get them to acknowledge that they're horrible parents.

get them to admit that they didn't care enough about the safety of their family to lock a f*cking door.

let them know how they themselves were the only party responsible for their girl getting kidnapped.

then bring them to the police station and ask them to identify a body.

than show them their little girl.


Actually it sounds like the family noticed in the middle of the night that she was missing, and frantically began a search.  So at least one family member got up sometime during the night, and checked on the toddler.  More than likely the perp had been planning this for a while, despite being drunk when he actually did it.  The alcohol may have just been so he could work up the nerve to go through with his plan.
 
2014-03-25 06:49:10 AM  
"Definitely lock all your doors at night.  Don't be complacent.  Dead lock them, dead bolt them from the inside and out," said the girl's father.

How do you go abut deadbolting your door from the outside? Do I go outside, lock it, then crawl back in through a window or something?
 
2014-03-25 06:50:49 AM  

ReapTheChaos: "Definitely lock all your doors at night.  Don't be complacent.  Dead lock them, dead bolt them from the inside and out," said the girl's father.

How do you go abut deadbolting your door from the outside? Do I go outside, lock it, then crawl back in through a window or something?


Doggie door
 
2014-03-25 06:54:13 AM  

calbert: fail tag for the parents.

police should not have returned the girl right away.

let the parents freak out. get them to acknowledge that they're horrible parents.

get them to admit that they didn't care enough about the safety of their family to lock a f*cking door.

let them know how they themselves were the only party responsible for their girl getting kidnapped.

then bring them to the police station and ask them to identify a body.

than show them their little girl.


Wow!

So you've never gone to bed and forgot to lock your door? Really? Good for you if that's the case, but most people get busy and distracted from time to time, especially if they have kids, and occasionally forget. I guess we should all strive to be as perfect as you.
 
2014-03-25 06:55:07 AM  
Wow, those are some brilliant quotations from the father randomly dropped throughout that "article." Good advice on using deadbolts inside AND outside. Don't want any creeps skirkin' around...
 
2014-03-25 06:55:37 AM  
s.cghub.com
 
2014-03-25 07:00:14 AM  
"This piece of garbage who was drunk on a bike, skirkin' around our neighborhood," said the victim's father, who did not want to be identified.

Skirkin'??
 
2014-03-25 07:05:19 AM  

calbert: let them know how they themselves were the only party responsible for their girl getting kidnapped.


So, the drunk kidnapper is just a pawn in the wicked parents scheme, in your mind?
 
2014-03-25 07:16:19 AM  
Patrolling the right place at the right time.

Who wrote that sentence?

Police say Luna told them he found the girl wandering around outside, but the officer noticed the girl's feet weren't dirty.

Also, suspect was hatless. I repeat, hatless.
 
2014-03-25 07:23:04 AM  
Could be worse, father separated from mom decides he wants a kid so he kidnaps one of his kids.  He later realized he got the daughter and calls is ex-mil to exchange for the son.  Mom makes sure the daughter knows about it growing up.  Guess how long before the daughter chose to allow her father to be apart of her life again on her terms.
 
2014-03-25 07:25:14 AM  

RobSeace: "This piece of garbage who was drunk on a bike, skirkin' around our neighborhood," said the victim's father, who did not want to be identified.

Skirkin'??


Hide yo kids, hide yo wives, cause e'erybody skirkin up in here
 
2014-03-25 08:04:10 AM  
How does one skirk? I'd like to try it sometime.
 
2014-03-25 08:10:23 AM  

QueenMamaBee: How does one skirk? I'd like to try it sometime.


I believe it involves using a belt sander and lots of elbow grease.
 
2014-03-25 08:15:11 AM  

ReapTheChaos: How do you go abut deadbolting your door from the outside? Do I go outside, lock it, then crawl back in through a window or something?


But of course. Then you nail that window shut.
Inside and out.
 
2014-03-25 08:32:03 AM  
gatherer.wizards.com
 
2014-03-25 08:57:51 AM  

RobSeace: "This piece of garbage who was drunk on a bike, skirkin' around our neighborhood," said the victim's father, who did not want to be identified.

Skirkin'??


It's a portmanteau of 'skulk' and 'lurk' and, possibly, 'twerk'.
 
2014-03-25 10:26:25 AM  

nytmare: QueenMamaBee: How does one skirk? I'd like to try it sometime.

I believe it involves using a belt sander and lots of elbow grease.


I have those! So..... are there instructional videos on YouTube?
 
2014-03-25 03:57:01 PM  

dolphkhan: calbert: let them know how they themselves were the only party responsible for their girl getting kidnapped.

So, the drunk kidnapper is just a pawn in the wicked parents scheme, in your mind?


I'm guessing he identifies with the kidnapper.
 
Displayed 21 of 21 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report